Our Love Is Problematic
by Finn Solomon
Summary: Shepard finds himself falling in love with the violent, complex woman known only as Jack. This is the story of their relationship from Mass Effect 2 and beyond. Rated M for language, violence and suggestive themes. Mass Effect 3 arc now in progress!
1. Jailbreak

**Our Love Is Problematic**

**Foreword**

Greetings dear reader, thanks for checking out my work. This is a Mass Effect 2 fic detailing the growing relationship between Commander John Shepard and the mysterious, violent biotic known only as Jack. I love Jack, she's one of my favourite Bioware characters and I've always had a thing for tatooed, foul-mouthed bald headed girls. The fic will stick closely to the Mass Effect 2 storyline in the early stages but will gradually expand beyond that. It's rated M because well, it's Jack and she tends to run her mouth and kill people. Also suggestive scenes later on. Bioware seem to share my love of Firefly, and there are plenty of influences from and references to that amazing show in this fic.

I would be very grateful if you leave a review, and I'll respond to each one personally. PM me any time if you'd like to chat.

- Finn Solomon

**Chapter 1 - Jailbreak**

**Purgatory Incarceration Facility**

**Osun System**

"Of all the run-down, scum-infested, disease-ridden hellholes we've had the privilege to visit, Commander, this has got to be the absolute worst."

Garrus Vakarian was openly cradling his sniper rifle as we walked down the corridors of Purgatory, the floating prison ship renowned for harbouring some of the vilest criminal vermin the galaxy had to offer. No other name would have been more appropriate, by my reckoning. The inhabitants of Purgatory were caught between the planets below and the heavens above, drifting hopelessly in the space between. Suspicious guards eyed Shepard and his team as they passed by. They looked more heavily armed and armoured than most special forces soldiers. Then again, watching over the inmates at Purgatory was a more dangerous task than most black ops missions. There were mass-murderers and serial killers, psychopaths and the deranged, war criminals and sadists of the lowest kind. There were also the white-collar criminals and those who were sent to Purgatory as part of a revenge scheme. They tended not to last long.

"Cerberus runs with the biggest and most vicious dogs out there Garrus. Doesn't surprise me one bit they have a tentacle that extends to Purgatory," I replied. I couldn't help but be on my guard in a place like this, and even if the guards did notice my hand hovering above the holster of my pistol I decided that I didn't care. I had survived half a hundred battles that would have slaughtered any other human, and you don't wade through all that blood and death without knowing deep in your bones when a next firefight would be coming. It would have been nice just to collect the package and get the hell out, but I sensed it wasn't going to be that easy.

Garrus snorted at the remark, and turned his head to stare down yet another guard. The turian had sustained a major injury while fighting off waves of attacks from three of the largest mercenary groups in Omega. It had taken a gunship blast to take him down, yet the wily bastard survived even that. Garrus had been up and walking around in days. The scar tissue that lined the side of his face and neck was at once a testament to his toughness and a constant reminder of his loyalty to me. I appreciated it more than he could ever know. Garrus had saved my life more than once during our travels, I'd done the same for him, and we'd become closer than brothers.

But if his face had been scarred, it only served to match the psychological and mental beating he must have went through during the years after my apparent death. I thought I knew Garrus, but Archangel was a stranger to me. If you had asked me if I thought Garrus was capable of leading a hit squad to eliminate crime on Omega, of all places, I would have hesitated to answer yes. It quickly became obvious he had hidden depths that went deeper than I knew. After rescuing him Garrus had been twitchier, more violent, even more restless than what I remembered. He'd sit up all night calibrating the Normandy's weapon systems array without a break. True he'd suffered a major injury, and had readily accepted fighting by my side again, but Garrus had changed - and not necessarily for the better.

"I've been in some nasty places in my time, but Purgatory's got a real bad rep. Most planets have their own incarceration facilities. Purg' takes the scum even they can't handle off their hands for a price. Nothing good can come out of money and the legal system getting in bed together," commented Jacob Taylor, the young man from Cerberus assigned to my team. I didn't like being forced to work with the Illusive Man's hand-picked operatives, but Jacob had proved to be a courageous and resourceful ally. He seemed pretty easy-going during our chats together in the armoury, but it took more than that to gain my full trust. Until I knew better, I resolved to keep the Cerberus agents at arm's length. Even if it did mean passing up the chance to get to know Miranda a little better.

In a contrast to Garrus's blue tinted heavy ceramic-tiled battle armour, Jacob wore a form fitting black body suit that looked at first glance highly impractical going into a combat situation. The reality of course was that Jacob didn't need restrictive armour. His formidable biotic abilities allowed him to throw up a psychic barrier around himself, which soaked up any amount of damage enemies cared to fling his way. Thus protected, he could wear a bodysuit that afforded him greater mobility and flexibility than a restrictive suit of armour. Unlike Garrus he favoured a Carnifex handgun, which was diminutive but packed a hell of a punch.

Despite their many differences Jacob and Garrus got along better than I expected. That was a good sign. The Collectors would rip us apart if we weren't a united team. I had been a soldier and an officer long enough to know that unity and discipline were worth more than an entire legion of mechs.

Still...arm's length. At least for the moment.

We came to the end of the corridor, and a turian prison guard made us halt. He was sheathed in blue and white armour and a helmet with a glowing blue visor obscured his face. I didn't like it much. I've always had an aversion to people in masks.

"Welcome to Purgatory, Commander. Your package is being prepped and will be ready for collection in a few minutes. As this is a high risk facility however, I must ask you to relinquish your weapons."

I didn't need Garrus's meaningful glance to tell me what to do next. Giving up my weapons and trusting our lives to the goodwill of a prison warden brokering a deal with Cerberus? Not in a million years.

I whipped out my own Carnifex and aimed it straight at the guard's visor. Beside me, Garrus and Jacob did the same with the other two guards stationed beside the door. I was impressed at the speed with which they'd anticipated my actions.

"I'll relinquish one bullet," I said calmly. "Where would you like it?"

Before the guard could do more than sweat, the door behind him slid open with a hiss, and another turian stepped out. He wasn't wearing a helmet, which afforded me a good look at his face. Strangely for a turian, he didn't appear to have any facial markings whatsoever.

"Commander Shepard, my name is Warden Kuril. You must realise this is just a simple administrative procedure. Your weapons will be returned to you when you leave," he said.

"Pleased to meet you, Warden," I returned in that same level tone, while still keeping my gun trained on the guard. "If it's just a matter of protocol, then you can surely see your way clear to relaxing the 'procedure' for a valued client. You know who I am and who I represent. I will not give up my weapon voluntarily." It made me feel a little sick to use Cerberus's name and reputation as leverage, but it had to be done. Ordinarily my own would have sufficed, but I suspected a hard nosed bastard like Kuril wouldn't be intimidated lightly.

I wasn't expecting him to try it on me though. He locked eyes with me, trying to force me down. But when you've been chewed out by Citadel Councillors and stared down a millenia old space monster bent on galactic destruction, a mere prison warden seems tame by comparison. After a while he gave up and lowered his eyes. The corners of my mouth twitched upwards.

"Allow them to pass," he muttered. "I'm sure our facility can handle three armed guests without a problem." He was trying to make a threat, but his heart wasn't in it. I holstered my gun and the guard started breathing again. The three of us followed the warden as he led us down yet another long corridor.

"Jack is currently being brought out of cryogenic hibernation. Once the funds clear you can collect the prisoner and be on your way. I'll escort you to outprocessing from here."

I nodded in response. Garrus and Jacob were looking out of the corridor's clear walls, down at what looked like rows upon rows of cells and chambers fitted into a high wall. It reminded me of a honeycomb.

"Cellblock 2," announced the warden, noticing their interest. Below us, huge mechanical arms groaned as they swung around and removed several of the cells around. "As you can see, we keep the population under tight control. Each prisoner's cell is a self-contained modular unit. I've blown a few out of the airlocks as an example to the rest."

If that was an attempt to impress me, it didn't work. I already knew Warden Kuril was a venal, greedy, self-serving bastard. Now I added unnecessary cruelty to the list. If Cerberus didn't need him I would have no qualms about showing him what I really thought of his facility's so called protocol.

"The station is made up of thirty cellblocks identical to each one. I can put the whole place on lockdown at a moment's notice. Nobody gets out of Purgatory. No one."

"Place like this, there has to be escape attempts," said Jacob.

"We're in space. The inmates have nowhere to go, and they know it. We have certain ways of keeping a tight rein on the population."

As the warden spoke I noticed two inmates far below us getting into a scuffle, watched by a seemingly disinterested guard. Before the violence could escalate however, the guard tapped his omni tool, a field generator popped out and separated the two inmates by use of a mass effect field, containing each man in his own bubble. I couldn't help but wonder if it was all just for our benefit.

"I'll have to check if the funds from Cerberus have cleared. Outprocessing is straight down from here, past the interrogation rooms and the supermax wing. I'll see you later, Commander," said the warden. He went off in another direction, leaving us alone.

"Lets go lads," I said, wanting to get this over and done with.

We passed by a couple of cells, then someone called out to me. It was a prisoner. He was wearing a dirty brown jumpsuit and looked worn out and beat down. Kuril obviously didn't lose any sleep over the health and comfort of his inmates.

"Are you buying prisoners? Please, could you buy me? I don't care what you do to me, I just want to get the hell out of here. Please, I won't cost much," he pleaded.

"Sorry. We're here for Jack," Jacob replied tersely. The prisoner reacted strangely at the mention of Jack's name. He backed quickly away from the glass and held his hands up.

"Whoa, Jack? Forget what I said, man. I'm not going anywhere with that maniac."

That perked my interest. "What do you know about Jack?"

"A whole lot of crazy, mixed up with the worst kind of violent urges and way too much biotic power. I'm not saying anything else."

I frowned, and moved on. From the Illusive Man's dossier I knew that Jack was one of the most powerful human biotics in existence, if not the most powerful. But the dossier also made mention of Jack's violent nature and destructive tendencies. An extremely powerful biotic sounded like a good weapon to aim at the Collectors, but I didn't need a weapon. I needed a team member. If Jack couldn't control himself on board the Normandy, I might have to cut short our association. It would be a wrench, but I had other biotics on the team already.

"The outprocessing room's past that door to your right," said a technician. We went into the room, and the door clanged shut behind us. At that moment I knew Kuril had stabbed us in the back. A second later, his voice blared from the intercom.

"I'm sorry Shepard, you're far too valuable a prisoner than as a customer. Do you have any idea what some people are willing to pay for you? With a suitable mind control chip implant of course. I'll never have to work on this damn station again for the rest of my life."

"Yeah, I know what I'm worth Kuril. I also want you to know you just committed suicide. I'm going to blow your head off for this little stunt."

"Drop your weapons and proceed to the open cell. You will not be harmed," went on Kuril blithely.

I scanned the room, and found the speaker the voice was projecting from. "Go to hell!" I snarled, and blasted it to pieces. Garrus and Jacob had taken up flanking positions, one on each side of me. Not a moment too soon as it turned out. The door burst open and a horde of Blue Sun mercenaries flooded into the room.

I ducked behind a handy desk. Not the best cover, but it was all I had. Garrus had reacted more quickly, dropping three mercs with three shots. Jacob had fired wild, but a rush of biotic energy suddenly sweeping a couple of mercs off their feet to dangle them helplessly in the air reminded me what he was capable of. He finished them off as casually as a fisherman unhooking his catch.

My Avenger assault rifle grew hot in my hands as I took down one merc after the other. I've handled a lot of guns over the years, but I kept coming back to the Avenger. It could switch between single shot, burst and fully automatic as easy as you pleased, and never jammed or malfunctioned. Still I'd never go so far as to name a gun, like Zaeed had with his rifle 'Jessie'. He claimed it was older than I was.

Thinking about Zaeed made me realise it was his damn fault we were coming under heavy fire today. He started up the Blue Suns a couple of decades ago. To be fair it only really went to pieces when his partner Vido Santiago kicked him out, but taking a round or two in the chestplate wasn't doing much for my feelings of goodwill.

Dimly I noticed that all of the mercs who had charged into the room were either dying or dead. Even as the thought crossed my mind Garrus was busy moving the mercs from the former category to the latter. Bits of stray circuitry and wiring were strewn about the floor, debris from exploded FENRIS mechs. Where the Blue Suns went, their pet mechs were never far behind.

People often ask what it's like for me when the bad guys start shooting, how it really feels to be in a combat situation. They'd be surprised to know I don't know any more about it than they do. For me, I always feel strangely detached from combat, as if all the action is happening to someone else. I pick my target and aim my weapon as quickly and as calmly as one would do with any other routine task that has been repeated hundreds of times, and honed over the years to perfection. Some people compose music, others write epics or construct monuments. Me, I kill. Battle is another form of art, after all, and like any artist, mastery comes through constant and unending practice.

Heh. Didn't Ash use to have something to say about that? Some old Chinese guy, Sun Tzu I think his name was. He'd written a book called _The Art of War, _and Ash had read every page twice. She'd always bugged me to read it, and I kept putting it off.

No. Seal those thoughts away. Focus on the mission.

"Come on," I muttered, and the three of us moved swiftly out of the Outprocessing room and turned left along a corridor. "Cryostasis whatever's this way."

Garrus had fought beside me long enough that he fell easily into my usual combat doctrine. Always on the move. Ten feet between us any time there was ten feet to give. Whenever I glanced to the side, I wanted to see his ugly face. If there was determined resistance, find cover and break out the heavy weapons. It was a simple set of rules that had served us well over the years. Jacob had no difficulty adapting quickly to it.

"I want Shepard brought before me now!" raged the voice on the intercom. "Use overwhelming force if you have to, but take him alive! Kill the other two!"

"Now why did he have to go and say a darn thing like that," I quipped. "I was thinking of letting him live with a flesh wound."

"No way in hell would you let him live," retorted Garrus, quick as a wink.

"What, blowing off someone's head is not a flesh wound?"

"Only a really big one," piped up Jacob. "Here, we've reached the cryo chamber."

Jacob punched open the door, revealing a terrified technician holding a dinky little pistol. I was about to talk him down when he opened fire and screamed into a communicator "Shepard's here in cryo! Don't let him get through!"

His shot barely made a dent on my shields. I blew a hole in his gut with the Avenger and kicked the bloody corpse to one side. Garrus and Jacob wisely declined to comment.

"I think we've found our psychopath, gentlemen."

"Commander - we need to hack into the main security controls if we're going to get Jack out of that thing," said Jacob, studying a small control panel.

"If we do that, every cell in the station will be thrown open," warned Garrus.

As always it was up to me. I needed Jack, but did I really need to set free ten thousand of the galaxy's beasts to do it? I could always blow the whole thing up after retrieving Jack, but that would mean sacrificing all the innocent people on board too, the guards and service staff. I knew in my gut barely a handful of them were in on the Warden's racketeering game, and most were just doing their jobs.

Again, I made the call. "It's the only way to get Jack. I'm doing it," I stated, moving over to the control panel and setting into sequence the program override that would unlock every single door on the station. Whoever he was, Jack had better be worth it.

As my fingers flew over the controls, I offered a silent prayer for forgiveness, as I'd done countless times before. Belief in a higher power was all but extinct these days, yet I still clung to the old ways. It was one of the few things that helped me get to sleep at night. Well, that and Ash. Funnily enough, she had been a religious person too.

No. Above all, the mission. You'll have plenty of time for navel gazing and soul searching later.

"Three YMIR mechs? Three?" yelled Garrus, disrupting my thoughts. "How the hell are we going to take them down?" The mechs were circling a large vault sunk into the floor, on the platform below us but clearly visible through the window. It was apparent they were between us and the cryo chamber.

"I've got the missile launcher, and we've all got the shredder rounds," I snapped. "We find cover, pick them off one by one..."

"No, look," interrupted Jacob. "They aren't paying any attention to us. They're crowded around Jack's cryo chamber. I think they're under orders to guard her."

"Three YMIRs for one damn prisoner?" asked Garrus rhetorically. "No biotic's going to be able to take them down. No matter how good he is. We'd better get ready."

"Agreed. Jacob, you try to take out their circuits..."

The whine of the mechanical arm cut off my orders. As the YMIR mechs watched, it drifted over to the vault seal in the floor and latched on, detaching the various locks and deadbolts that had kept the cryo chamber sealed shut. Spinning in the opposite direction, the mechanical arm swiftly popped the vault door open. A cloud of smoke obscured what looked like a surgical table as it rose from the floor. It had someone strapped to it.

I had built up quite a picture in my head about the infamous Jack. Since Warden Kuril had put him and him alone in cryo stasis while thousands of other scumbags walked free, I thought he'd be pure death on legs. Not to mention the insane love for violence and overwhelming biotic abilities mentioned by the dossier. I was imagining an immense hulk of a man, covered from forehead to heel in tattoos, scarred from the many fights he'd must have been in.

I was right about the tattoos. I was wrong about everything else.

As the smoke cleared, I could clearly see the figure strapped to the harness was a slim, lithe young woman with a shaved skull, clad in what looked like leather leggings and with nothing but one or two belts criss-crossing over her upper body to save her modesty. Although it looked plain to see that this individual had left modesty far, far behind. Every inch of skin I could see from her neck downwards was covered in ink. Despite my earlier musings, not one scar marred her body as far as I could see.

But most of all, despite her baldness, despite her tattoos, despite all the dire warnings from the dossier and the prison inhabitants, and despite the fact that we were in a combat situation, what I happened to notice the most was that Jack was amazingly, ridiculously beautiful. It was like God himself was playing a trick on the universe. She had delicate, almost elfin features, high cheekbones and full red lips that looked far better suited on someone else, someone preferably without a confirmed body count in the quadruple digits. I'd seen my fair share of beautiful women. Ash had down to earth charm and warmth, the natural inner radiance that comes with knowing you look good and not caring one bit. Miranda was the ultimate ice queen, with an amazing face and body, but cold as well. Her eyes said _back off _with every look, which of course only added to her allure. But Jack...

The overall effect was of something feral, animal, barely human...but the human element was made so agonizingly clear in her beautiful face. I don't know what it was. Maybe it was the sight of all that loveliness hidden under so much superficial ugliness. It was like finding a torn up Van Gogh. Sure, it's a lost cause, but you'd be damned if you didn't at least try to put it back together. And I always had been a fan of lost causes.

Apparently my aesthetic musings had flashed through my brain at the speed of light, because the next thing I was aware of was Jacob saying dumbly "That's Jack?" He sounded almost as surprised as I was.

"She's a girl," ventured Garrus.

"Full marks for observation, Archangel," I said, coming back to the present. "Any other insights you'd care to offer?"

Garrus was unfazed by my sarcasm, that old standby to cover up my sudden loss of footing. "I think she's waking up."

And so she was. As we watched, Jack's fingers twitched, then her hands, then her eyes snapped open. They were dark, and blazed with an almost instinctive rage. I'd seen that look before, usually in krogan berserkers trying to kill me.

Jack struggled, and got one hand free, and then the other. She tugged at her neck restraint, straining all the muscles on her thin arms, her mouth open in a scream of incoherent fury. Despite the thick glass and metal between us, I thought I could hear her cry of mingled shock, fear and anger. Mostly anger.

The neck restraint finally broke apart and Jack staggered forward, free at last. She put a hand on her forehead and grimaced. Clearly she was feeling the effects of the cryostasis. In front of her, the YMIR mechs advanced menacingly. We were still on the raised platform, there was no way we could get down there in time.

Suddenly Jack's eyes focused on the three lumbering hulks in front of her. Even at that distance I saw it and recognised it for what it was. The battle awareness. The split second that races by while you assess your options and instantly decide what's the best outcome. I knew it. The girl hadn't merely been a brawler. She knew how to make war.

It wouldn't be enough though, not against three YMIR mechs at point blank range. The best outcome in this situation would be to die a quick and painless death.

So it came as a shock when Jack was enveloped in a sheathe of glowing blue biotic energy, concentrated around her right fist. With another scream of defiance, she launched herself at the first mech and there was an almighty explosion. The next thing all three of us could see were the sparking remains of three of the most deadly opponents we would ever face on a battlefield - and no sign of Jack.

Jacob said it first. "_Holy shit._"

I gave him a look. "Agreed. Quickly, let's get to her before Kuril does!"

"You want us to go _towards_ the crazy biotic who just blew up three YMIRs with a single punch?" asked Garrus, even as he sped towards the ramp leading downwards.

"Damn straight. Imagine what she could do to the Collectors."

The cryo chamber below us apparently didn't have any other exit. This hadn't posed much of a problem to Jack, who'd simply blown a hole through the nearest wall and climbed through the service ducts and out again the other side. We couldn't do much but to gawk and chase down her trail.

Jacob kept swearing under his breath as we clambered through yet more holes blasted in walls and passed by the corpses of luckless prison guards. I felt like doing the same. Jack was tearing the station to bits and bringing the whole thing down around our ears. It was no wonder the Warden sounded a little frazzled when his voice blared forth once again from the intercom.

"Lockdown! I repeat, full system lockdown! Every inmate who does not comply will get shoved out of the nearest airlock! Guards, forget about Shepard, don't lose Jack! Take her down, but don't kill her!"

The Warden was more worried about Jack running loose than he was of me actively coming for his leathery ass? I was impressed yet again.

We were racing through the same prison decks that we had seen from the elevated corridors while walking in. The emergency lighting bathed everything in an eerie red glow. It was utter chaos. Guards were fighting with inmates, inmates were attacking the mercs, and the mechs were firing at everyone. We waded through a storm of hailfire, less concerned with slaughtering everyone in sight than we were of keeping to Jack's trail. Finally we emerged in what I recognised as Cellblock 1.

Warden Kuril was there, personally gunning down every inmate that had dared to pick up a weapon. Before I could raise my own he saw me and fired off a shot. I dived to one side and rolled behind a corner out of sight.

"You're valuable, Shepard. I could have sold you and lived like a king. But you're too much trouble. At least I can recapture Jack!" roared the Warden.

"Not bloody likely, you two-bit slave trading piece of crap," I yelled back.

"I do the hard things civil governments don't have the guts to do. This is for the good of the galaxy!"

"Just shut up already," I groaned, unslinging my Viper sniper rifle and sending a bullet the Warden's way. He leapt back, and was instantly shielded in a bubble of glowing blue energy.

"You'll never get past my shields, Shepard!" screamed the Warden. He sounded quite deranged. It took me all of a second to notice that the shield was being fed by four identical generator posts. I blew up two, and Garrus and Jacob right on cue took out one each. The shield around the Warden fizzled and died. The grin vanished from his face. He stumbled, and tried to flee.

I drew a bead on his skull, held my breath for a fraction of a second, and squeezed off a shot. Warden Kuril's head exploded in a mess of blue turian blood.

"Told you I'd blow your head off, you brain dead prick," I said to the former Warden, putting away the Viper. "I keep my promises."

In the corridor tube above us, I saw a bald headed figure charging down a pair of guards. That tube led to the Normandy, and our ticket off this damned station. Garrus and Jacob didn't hesitate as we must have set a few speed records running up to that corridor.

We got there in time to see a guard raise his gun and order Jack to halt. Her body shimmered with that same blue glow of biotic energy, and the guard was flung off his feet and violently slammed head first into the nearest bulkhead. Jack spun around and did the same thing to his partner. He crashed against a pillar and slumped out of sight.

Just then, Jack appeared to catch sight of something outside the window that clearly startled her. Through my visor, I could see her mouth the word 'Cerberus'. The look on her face made it a curse.

She reacted strangely, apparently going into another blinding fit of rage, pacing back and forth and physically shaking as if under tremendous stress. She didn't notice the guard sneaking up on her, but I did. A shot from my Carnifex whistled past Jack's face, close enough for her to feel the wind from its path, and buried itself into the brain of what must have been the last guard on Purgatory. Jack wheeled around to face us.

"What the hell do you want?" she demanded. Her voice wasn't the nail-on-blackboard sound I was expecting from someone who clearly shouted a lot. It sounded almost attractive, considering the tone was anything but.

"You're in a bad situation, and I'm going to get you out of here," I said, reverting to my Alliance officer demeanor.

"Shit, you sound like a pussy," fired back Jack, clearly unimpressed.

_Damn. Shouldn't have gone with the soft touch, _I mentally berated myself.

"I'm not going anywhere with you," she went on. "You're with Cerberus."

I still didn't know what to think about my association with the terrorist cell, but I decided that discussion was best saved for a later time.

"I'm here to ask for your help," I said, trying to keep my voice calm. Behind us, a dull boom signalled yet another explosion deep within the bowels of the station.

"You show up in a Cerberus frigate, and ask for my help? You must think I'm stupid," sneered the biotic.

"Look, this ship is going down in flames," I said. "We can get you out, and I'm asking for your help." _Don't be stupid and get us all killed, _my glare added silently.

"We could just knock her out and take her," suggested Jacob.

"I'd like to see you try," spat Jack. A now familiar blue glow was beginning to form around her body.

"Stand down!" I snapped. "No one's going to attack you."

"Look, you want me to come with you, make it worth my while," she said suddenly, coming a few steps closer.

"I'll help you if I can."

"I bet that ship of yours has all kinds of Cerberus databases. I want to look through them. Find out what Cerberus has got on me. You want me on your team? Let me go through those files."

Again, it was up to me. Luckily it was an easy decision this time. I needed Jack on the team - _three _YMIR_ mechs! - _and if her price was poking through Cerberus's archives, I was more than willing to pay it. Besides, anything that annoyed the Illusive Man had to be good.

"I'll give you full access once we're on board," I said. Jack smiled suddenly, the first time I'd seen her do so. It was disconcerting, to say the least.

"Shepard, I don't think Miranda will let you do that," muttered Jacob.

"Aww, am I going to piss off some Cerberus bitch? Even better," snarled Jack.

"Move out," I ordered, settling the matter. Jack wanted to know more about her past, and that was fine by me. I was curious too. How did someone so beautiful get broken down as hard and as fast as Jack had been? If the Illusive Man was behind this, forget his money, contacts, his entire freaking army. Jack would cut a bloody swathe through them to wrap her hands around his neck.


	2. Roundtable Analysis

**Chapter 2 – Roundtable Analysis**

**The Normandy Mk II**

**Uncharted Space**

"On board this ship, we follow orders. The Commander's in charge of the mission, but I am his Executive Officer and second-in-command. That means you listen to me."

My heart sank as I hurried into the debriefing room and heard Miranda's smooth voice spelling things out to Jack as one would a child. I should have been the one conducting the first welcome, but I had to stop by my quarters and get my armour off. Then I hadn't been able to resist a quick shower and change into clean clothes. Purgatory had been sterilised clean of any conventional dirt and grime, but the station still felt worse than the muck on Omega. I'd wanted to talk quietly to Jack before any of the crew had a chance to. Unfortunately, Miranda had gotten to her first.

Jack laughed derisively, a burst of harsh sound completely devoid of any genuine mirth. She ignored Miranda and locked eyes with me.

"You'd better be straight up with me, 'Commander'," she said, drawling the last word. "We had a deal. If you don't get me those Cerberus files, I'm out of here. Don't try to stop me unless you like your crewmen better off dead. Starting with the cheerleader bitch right here."

"_What_ did you call me?" said Miranda, raising her voice and narrowing her eyes. The Cerberus agent was a good shot with a pistol, and her biotic abilities were pretty impressive, but Jack was on another level entirely. She'd make short work of Miranda in a one-on-one confrontation.

"Are you deaf as well as retarded?"

I cut in quickly before the situation could degrade any further. "I keep my promises. I'll have EDI give you access to any information we have."

"About time," she said, leaving the room. "I'll be down in the cargo hold, less through traffic. The less I see of Cerberus the better." We began to breathe a little easier once she left.

I sat down at the table and gave Miranda a cocky grin, the one I knew she despised. "You can't shove her out of the nearest airlock, I'm afraid. Illusive Man wants her and I'm starting to see why. Three YMIRs! I'd win a war with this girl."

Miranda folded her arms, refusing to sit down or even look at me. "She's dangerously unstable, borderline psychotic, and speaking as a biotic, extremely volatile. It's like having a ticking time bomb on board!"

I leaned back in my chair. "I happen to agree with you, but you know. Illusive Man's orders." I watched her carefully for her reaction. I could almost see the conflict within her as she struggled to reconcile the facts. Jack was a spectacularly messed up individual, but her boss apparently deemed the crazy biotic valuable enough to join the team. Either she admitted that she was wrong, or that the Illusive Man was. Neither had happened before.

"I suppose...she could be useful in combat situations. Under the right command," she said finally. Grudgingly. I was a little disappointed. When push came to shove, Miranda backed the Illusive Man.

Garrus, Jacob and Yeoman Kelly Chambers came into the room. I'd decided upon a policy of psych profile evaluation upon recruiting each new member of the team, based on first impressions and gut instinct. It wouldn't give us the full picture, but enough of a base on which to work. Kelly had been invaluable in that respect, gleaning accurate portraits of each recruit from mere seconds of contact and conversation. The girl was a gifted counsellor and was good at her job. She had observed Mordin and Zaeed and came up with a decent rundown of their strengths, weaknesses and motivations. The salarian scientist was eager to work again with some of the best tech in the galaxy, but he apparently also harboured some long-buried secret that was causing him much guilt. Why else waste time running a free clinic on some stinking hellhole like Omega? Zaeed was easier to understand, the old scarred bastard being in it solely for the money. I liked that about him. He might stab you in the back for a few credits more, but that at least you could predict and prepare for. I had a feeling Jack wasn't going to be as easy to deal with.

"Thanks Kelly, you're a lifesaver," I said appreciatively, as she passed around a steaming pot of coffee. I had been a little apprehensive upon first learning that I had been assigned a personal assistant. The way I saw it secretaries, servants and their ilk were for civilians, not soldiers. But I was no longer just a frontline grunt. I was an officer now, in charge of my own ship - and what a ship it was - and Kelly had made herself extremely useful in the day to day operations on board the _Normandy_. It certainly didn't hurt that she was very easy on the eyes, with that red hair and sparkling green eyes of hers. Kelly also had an optimistic, sunny personality that seemed genuine, something of a rarity in the Verse.

Still, what I liked best about her was her coffee-making skills. The girl could brew a fantastic cup, a far cry from the thick black sludge Rupert down in the mess liked to make. Early on I'd asserted privileges of rank, and Kelly now made her coffee of the gods for me alone.

She flashed me a quick smile of appreciation, and took a seat opposite mine. At the far end of the table I detected a subtle coolness emanating from Miranda, and suppressed a smirk. Miranda claimed Kelly was far too cheery for her own good, but I preferred the idea of her being insanely jealous of the time I spent with the Yeoman.

I drained the last of my cup and set it aside. "Ladies, gentlemen. By now you've had a chance to get acquainted with our Subject Zero, also known as Jack, also known as the girl who ripped through three YMIR mechs - count 'em, three! - without batting an eyelash. Thoughts? Comments? Howls of indignation?"

I let them go at it, as always. I preferred to let them thrash out their various differences and argue about every detail, assess every possible angle and then come up with the best response. It was something my mom taught me herself, Hannah Shepard being no stranger to the intricacies of command.

Jacob was offering a tactical evaluation based on our recent fight to free Jack. Garrus commented on how she managed to intimidate a seasoned prison warden, noticing as I did that his attention was focused on Jack despite the fact that the three of us were coming to kill him. Even EDI chimed in, the readings she took of Jack's biotic powers were apparently off the charts. Miranda was furiously coming up with every reason imaginable for not having Jack on board. It looked like she already forgotten her earlier admission that Jack could be useful.

Kelly and I watched the carnage in silence for a few long minutes. I raised an eyebrow at her, and she plunged smoothly into the discussion on cue.

"Jack looks frightening, at first glance," she began, when everyone else had paused for breath and was glaring at one another. "Her tattoos are artistically beautiful - "

"You'd have to be a modern art critic to find those beautiful," remarked Jacob.

"But I believe they reveal deep-seated emotional and psychological problems," Kelly went on. "Who knows what she's endured. Did she come by her powers naturally, or were they the result of extensive experimentation? She displays an unusual amount of hostility towards Cerberus personnel, even for someone like her. Are we in fact responsible for the creation of 'Subject Zero'? I'm not authorized to access those parts of Cerberus's operations."

I gave Miranda a significant look. She sighed and took the hint. "I've heard rumours that Cerberus had been experimenting on child biotics, but I'm not aware of all the details."

"Those aren't rumours. I saw for myself the sick experiments Cerberus agents subjected human beings to," I said calmly, not betraying for an instant the sudden wave of anger that washed over me. Although I was sure my face betrayed no emotion, it seemed like Miranda, Kelly and Jacob backed away just a tiny bit from me.

"They were rogue cells, acting independently of the Illusive Man and myself," replied Miranda, after a while.

"I've heard that line before. I'm still reserving judgment. Either way, it's safe to assume Jack is not the biggest Cerberus fan around. What about combat? How will she hold up under fire?"

"She did pretty good back on Purgatory," said Jacob, shrugging.

"Three YMIRs!"

"Yes Garrus, we all know about that by now," said Miranda, a little testily. "I think what the Commander would like to know is how well can she work as part of a team? I'm not sure if her abilities outweigh the negatives of having her around."

"Kelly? Your thoughts?"

"Based on the reports I've received from Jacob and Garrus, and the additional Cerberus dossier information, I believe she'll be solid under fire. We know she's been in gangs, merc armies, even a pirate crew. Sure she tore them apart within a few months, but as far as the intel suggests, they'd always did something stupid like try to doublecross her. You did agree to give her access to our files, sir?"

"Yes. It was the only way to convince her to sign up. In fact I'm beginning to wonder if the Illusive Man had thought about why Jack would even want to sign up otherwise."

"He could have been relying on your massive personal charm," said Garrus.

"Doesn't take a genius to see that."

"The point is," continued Kelly, "You've kept your promise to her. It's not going to be enough to gain her full trust, and I'm not sure what will, but it's a good start. I believe she'll follow your orders."

"Tell me what you said about her biotic abilities again, EDI," I said, addressing the _Normandy's _artificial intelligence. A glowing blue orb popped up from a raised platform and a neutral female voice began to speak.

"The output of biotic energy that Subject Zero utilized during the escape from Purgatory was simply unmeasurable on any known human chart created thus far. A comparable level of scale would be that of an asari adept approaching the Matriarch stage. In simpler terms, Subject Zero's biotic abilities are at least twice as strong as Operative Lawson's and roughly three times stronger than Operative Taylor's."

"Gee, thanks EDI."

"I apologise if my observations have given rise to offense, Operative Taylor," replied EDI. "Yet it is accurate all the same. Subject Zero is the most powerful human biotic to have been assessed and recorded."

"Thank you EDI. I think she's just too powerful to be cast aside. I'd rather she was with us than trying to take us down. At least here I can keep her under my thumb," I said decisively. The rest of them knew the final decision had been made.

"A word of caution sir, I believe Jack wouldn't take too kindly to being referred to as Subject Zero," said Kelly. "It would only serve to remind her of the pain and trauma she must have endured as an experimental test subject."

"Good point. EDI, you got that? Call our girl Jack from now on before she rips the Normandy apart."

"Acknowledged, Commander."

"Great. Alright, meeting dismissed. I'll see you all later."

They filed out of the room one by one, Kelly lingering behind. It was clear she wanted to say something to me privately.

"What's on your mind, Chambers?"

"It's like this sir...from what I've seen so far, I expect Jack to come on to you very strongly if you maintain a close relationship with her."

"What? Who, me?" I was taken back. I certainly wasn't considering even the possibility of a relationship with Jack. Sure she was beautiful, and clearly needed help, but I wasn't looking for a relationship. I'd engaged in harmless flirting with Miranda and Kelly, but that was out of sheer boredom, not because I wanted to start something serious. Not now, maybe not ever. Not until I found Ash.

"I'm just saying sir, be careful about how you proceed if it does happen. In a case like hers, it's very common for patients to view sex as a casual, meaningless process. But giving in would likely spell an end to any respect she might feel towards you."

"How the hell do you _know_ all this, Kelly?"

"Just doing my job sir," she replied breezily. "Of course, it's all conjecture at this point. But I've seen tons of cases like this. And I'm usually right."

"Alright, I'll bear that in mind," I said, not wanting to pursue the matter further.

"Oh, before I forget, you have an unread message at your private terminal sir," said Kelly. And then she left as well. I shook my head, and wandered over to my terminal at the foot of the CIC deck. EDI had tremendous filters, but junk mail still occasionally got through.

It wasn't titled, and had been sent from an unregistered account, civilian, not military. I frowned, and opened it up. A second later, I wish I hadn't.

It was from some homicidal piece of crap that hadn't possessed the good courtesy to die aboard the Purgatory. As I read through the mail, my fingers tightening around the edges of the desk, he rambled on about how he'd escaped from the doomed station, and expounded upon his sick philosophy that motivated him to murder. But it was the last part that truly chilled me, war veteran though I was. The murderer, who called himself Billy, had apparently broken into someone's house to send this message. He ended it with a line that felt as hard as a kick to the gut.

"_...I can hear them coming back now, so I'd better go. It's showtime! Thank you Shepherd...I'll be seeing you..._"

I shut down the terminal and tried to steady my breathing. Some animal, some foul beast had murdered an innocent person within minutes of sending that mail. And who had granted him his freedom, who was the one who had allowed him to resume his violent killing spree?

It was me, of course. My decision to open all the cells. My command to get away from Purgatory as fast as we could without taking a few minutes to blow the place to hell. My decision to even go to the damned prison ship in the first place.

_The Illusive Man knew this would happen! _I wanted to rage and scream. I wanted to blame that smug son of a bitch, because if I could, then it meant that I wouldn't have to blame myself, it meant innocent blood wouldn't be on my hands once more...

Some people think soldiers don't care about death and killing. I've met a few men and women who thought like that, it's true. Those were the ones you had to watch out for. I still believed in the nobility of service, that fighting was the last resort on the path to peace. My parents both were soldiers, and good people. Every day I tried to live up to their example. I didn't kill the poor sods who'd come into their house and found a mass murderer waiting for them, but I might as well have.

_Dear God, forgive me for what I've done. I'm sorry. Oh God, I'm so sorry._

Again I was reminded of the impact of my decisions. Even as I tried to stop the Collectors from killing hundreds of thousands of colonists, I mourned every meaningless death along the way. This was not the first, and it wouldn't be the last.

I resolved to track down the origin of the message. There had to be some way to find out where it was sent from. And then if local law enforcement needed help in chasing down this killer, I'd be more than happy to lend a hand. Offer the compensate the victim's relatives, if there were any. It wasn't much, but it was the least I could do.

Kelly walked out of the chamber leading to Mordin's lab and saw me hunched over the desk. I still hadn't let go of it, and my fingers had turned white.

"Sir, is there something wrong?" she asked, in a compassionate tone of voice. For a moment I wanted to tell her everything. How I wasn't sure I could deal with so much death on my conscience. How someone had lost a mother or father or children because of me.

Then I remembered that for all her kind words and flirtatious demeanor, Kelly was still a part of Cerberus. The Illusive Man could have ordered her to keep a close watch on me, to make sure I was doing the job as per specification. You tend to expect perfect performance for a price tag of four billion credits, and ol' Illusive was the type to keep track of every last penny.

"I'm fine Kelly," I said curtly, heading towards my quarters. I needed to be alone for a while. No, that was a lie. I needed to be with Ash. God, how I missed her. I needed someone I could talk to, someone whom I could trust implicitly. Someone who knew me just as well as I knew myself. I needed to tell someone exactly how I was feeling without worrying if every word I said was being recorded and relayed back to that silver-haired bastard with the glowing eyes. I needed Ash, and I had no idea where to find her.

Alone in my quarters, I sat on my bed and stared listlessly at a wall. My thoughts turned to Jack, she of the beautiful face and scarred psyche. It seemed foolish now that I'd wanted to help her. It was more likely that I was the one in need of help.

_That man or woman or child died because of you, Jack. For you. He died because I needed you on my team. Some soldiers scoff at the thought of collateral damage. I'm not like them. To me, losing your humanity begins on the day when you fail to mourn the first innocent life that died at your hands. _

I lay down on my bed and put an arm over my eyes. Maybe this would look better after an hour's rest.

_For your sake and mine, you'd better be bloody worth it._


	3. Making A Connection

**Chapter 3 – Making A Connection**

**The Normandy Mk II**

**Uncharted Space**

"So then I told him that due to some long forgotten village custom, the fact that he put a garland of flowers on my head actually meant that we were married! You should have seen the look on his face!" said Kasumi, laughing at the memory. She was seated at a table in the mess hall, sharing a drink with Gabrielle Daniels from Engineering. Gabby was wiping away a tear of mirth as I walked by. Kasumi saw me and waved cheerily.

"Hey Shep," she said casually. I sat down next to her.

"Hey. Hi Gabby. What's Kasumi been telling you?"

"Oh Commander, you have got to hear this. It's too hilarious for words."

"Just a little story of how I stole this ship from her captain," said Kasumi modestly. The Japanese thief cradled a steaming mug with her hands as she looked at me with dark eyes from underneath her hood. She kept the hood on everywhere she went. I asked her once why, and all she did was shrug and reply "Force of habit." I guess some things came naturally with being the best thief in the galaxy.

Cerberus had recommended her to my team. Again, I had some hesitation before deciding to make contact with her. Despite my reservations, I found that I got along really well with Kasumi. She had a friendly, easy-going personality and had tremendous infiltration and hacking skills. More than once I'd be facing down some particularly stubborn enemy hunkered down in some hole where my sniper rifle couldn't reach, and Kasumi would turn on her cloaking field, calmly walk right up to him and take him out of commission. Plus I helped her retrieve a valuable and personal bundle of information from the notorious crime boss Donovan Hock, and she was grateful for my help. I still had unfinished business with Hock, somehow it didn't seem right to me that the original head of Lady Liberty was holed up in his luxury mansion.

"Sounds like a good yarn. Care to share?" Kasumi was happy to oblige. She launched into the tale of how she stole the poor captain's ship right from under his nose while pretending to be an innocent, naive farm girl.

"...I stripped naked, waited in his bed and made up some phony Bible verse about how a man should work his wife like a farmer works his plough. He fell for it so hard! I kinda felt bad about stealing all his clothes and leaving him stranded on some desert landscape though. He was a cutie."

I laughed and shook my head. "Remind me never to get on your bad side, Kasumi..." My voice trailed off as I detected a familiar aroma. "Wait a minute...that's...are you drinking coffee?"

"I sure am."

"But that's not the Coffee of Death that Rupert makes! Have you been stealing Kelly's coffee?"

"Please Shep, you don't expect me to drink that engine oil Rupert calls coffee, do you?" said Kasumi, wrinkling her nose. "Amazing thief, remember? I swiped Kelly's secret stash of beans, and if you want more, I'm sure you'll find my prices reasonable."

"This is outright extortion!"

"Just keeping my skills polished. Besides, we're billions of miles away from the nearest plantation. Your choice."

I growled in mock anger and stood up. "If you were a soldier I'd court martial you. Gabby, did you know anything about this?"

"Not me sir," replied the engineer. "Although Kasumi was kind enough to make me a cup."

"Why can't I have one?"

"I like Gabby. We're BFFs," said Kasumi, smirking. "You give me credits, and then we'll talk."

"I'll deal with you later, Ms. Goto. I need to go punch the hell out of Jacob." I had ordered Miranda to convert part of the crew quarters into a small gymnasium, and placed requisition orders for every kind of exercise equipment imaginable, including a small ring closed off with ropes. I had gotten the idea from Garrus, who mentioned that the crew of Turian ships let off steam through physical activity. Although everyone on board was in perfect physical condition, the gym still offered a way to kill some time when they didn't have duties to attend to. Most of the crewmembers appreciated the idea, and you could usually find someone benchpressing weights and running on the treadmills at all hours.

"What? Why?" she asked, sounding genuinely shocked. "What did he do?"

"In the boxing ring," I clarified.

"Oh, silly me. Hmm...this means he won't be wearing that Cerberus suit of his, right?"

"I usually spar in training gear, but Jacob prefers to work out bare-chested," I said deliberately, knowing that it would get her attention.

Even half-hidden by that hood, there was no mistaking the sudden flash of interest in her eyes. "This I've got to see for myself."

"You know, I still haven't gotten round to asking Jacob his opinion of nice Japanese girls with kleptomania..."

Kasumi punched me in the arm. "Stop it! You'll ruin everything!"

"Trust me, he doesn't know a thing."

"I know," she sighed dramatically. "It sucks. Gabby, want to watch two handsome soldiers getting all hot and sweaty?"

"Sounds good, but I really need to get back below deck. Ken's run into some trouble with the warp core again, and as usual I need to hold his hand while he fixes it."

"Aww, doesn't that sound sweet Shepard? I bet she'd stick around to watch if you were boxing with Engineer Donnelly instead," Kasumi said wickedly, glancing at her friend.

"It's not like that!" protested Gabby. "Kenneth and I are just friends."

"I've heard that line before. Can't fight fate, I'm afraid," said Kasumi. "Hurry up Shep, let's start already."

I laughed again as we headed to the gym. I was feeling better, hanging out with Kasumi. Despite her checkered past, she was a great person to talk to. I suspected Kasumi hadn't really had the opportunity to make a lot of friends during her time as a master thief, and I was glad that helping her out with Keiji's graybox had gotten her to open up a little. Besides, I was looking forward to kicking Jacob's ass. I always enjoyed an intense sparring bout, and maybe it would help me forget about Purgatory and 'Subject Zero' and Billy the homicidal maniac.

Jacob was leaning against the ropes, red boxing gloves on his hands, wearing nothing but some black shorts. He'd apparently worked up quite a bit of sweat before we arrived and his muscles were shiny with it. Beside me Kasumi drew breath very sharply, and then brought her fingers to her mouth. I knew she was doing all she could not to squeal in delight.

"Commander!" Jacob called. "Ready to get beat down again?"

I ducked under the ropes and stepped into the ring, shrugging off my own shirt and tossing it to the floor. "I've blown up bases and gone one on one with krogan, Taylor. I just hope you won't cry too much once I'm done with you."

"Big words for a little man," sniffed Jacob. "I'm the greatest of all time. I float like a butterfly and sting like a rachni. Oh hey Kasumi, didn't see you there."

"Story of my life," she muttered under her breath. "Hi Jacob!" she continued in a more normal tone.

"I don't usually see you in the gym."

"Oh you know, I don't know much about bodybuilding. I'm just here to um, lift some weights."

"That's cool. If you like, I'll join you once I'm done humbling this punk."

"That...would be very nice," said Kasumi, after recovering. She sat down on a bench and watched the two of us go at it.

I grinned and danced around, light on my feet, keeping my eyes on Jacob. He swayed slightly from side to side to match my movement, not taking his eyes from me either. He suddenly lashed out with a quick jab that I barely dodged. I responded by slamming a right hook into his abs, but he acted like he barely felt a thing. My hand hurt like hell, however.

"Holy God Jacob, what kind of drugs are you on?"

"That's a slanderous accusation!" he replied, letting loose a wild haymaker that I again avoided by inches. "This is all natural baby, none of that gene modification here, no sir!"

"I'm glad to hear that," remarked Kasumi. She was watching us with rapt delight.

I spun this way and that, trying to land more blows on Jacob. He didn't let many through, and the punches that did connect didn't seem to faze him at all. Meanwhile I was having trouble successfully avoiding Jacob's own blows. I decided to taunt him further.

"No way in hell that can be true. What was it Jacob? Secret science experiment? Cerberus upgrade? Come on, you can tell me."

"I've had enough of your disingenuous assertions!" Jacob whirled around, and landed an uppercut right on the point of my chin. I saw stars and slumped to the mat, dazed. Kasumi whooped and clapped. Jacob sketched a polite bow before offering me a hand. Rubbing my jaw, I took it.

"And the winner by way of knockout, Mama Taylor's baby boy! Better luck next time Shep."

"Protein and iron, sir. Eat one and pump the other. Nothing to it," said Jacob.

"I guess I deserved that," I said ruefully. "Come on, I'll get you a beer."

"We have a lounge now?" asked Jacob, following me out of the gym, Kasumi trailing behind us.

"We do now Kasumi's on board. Where exactly did you get all those rare and expensive liquors again?"

"Oh, you know. Here and there," she said, with her signature shrug.

We passed by the mess again on our way to the Port Observation deck. Suddenly the elevator door opened up and out stepped Jack.

She was still wearing her ridiculous outfit of pants and belt harness. Her tattoos and near nakedness instantly made her the centre of attention, almost everyone on deck was staring at her. Annoyed by the scrutiny, she scowled and stomped towards Rupert. The poor Mess Sergeant looked terrified as the biotic came up to him.

"Hello miss - " he began.

"Cut the bullshit, you Cerberus piece of crap," Jack said. "Give me some food."

"C-certainly. Whatever you want. I've got rack of lamb, lobster bisque, grilled swordfish steak..."

"I don't give a damn. Food's food. Something I can carry with me back to the cargo hold. No way in hell I'm gonna eat here with all these morons eyeballing me."

She snatched a loaf of bread and a hunk of cheese from Rupert's hands and headed back to the elevator. Along the way her eyes met mine again and I found myself wishing I'd put my shirt back on. I looked like a total ass in my boxing gear. Her face became an unreadable mask once more and she disappeared back into the elevator as quickly as she arrived.

"Um guys, you go ahead and have that drink without me. I'm gonna go talk to her."

"You sure, sir? She might be dangerous," said Jacob in a low tone.

"Jacob, everybody we meet and everything we do nowadays is dangerous. I need to find out all I can about this girl."

"If you say so," said Jacob doubtfully.

"I'm sure Shepard knows what he's doing," said Kasumi, gently tugging on Jacob's arm. He allowed himself to be pulled away in the direction of the lounge. I ducked into the bathroom, had a quick shower and pulled on a fresh shirt. Then I took the elevator down to the cargo hold.

The belly of the ship was drenched in harsh red lighting, cheaper than the full illumination used on the other decks. People hardly ever came down here anyway. In one corner, tucked away amidst rows of piping and bulkheads, Jack had made her own place of sorts. It had a thin blanket, heaps of Cerberus datapads, and nothing else. She obviously didn't care much for material comfort.

Jack was sitting on the floor, hugging her knees to her chest and ravenously chewing on the bread and cheese she'd taken from Rupert. She ate like a wild animal, gnawing on her food as if someone would sneak up and steal it, eyes darting in all directions. When she saw me, she swallowed the last mouthful of her food and edged away, watching me warily.

"Hey Jack," I said cautiously. "Got a minute to talk?"

"It's your goddamn ship, you can go where you please. But I'm not talking to you."

"Why not?" I asked, sitting down on an empty crate.

"Isn't it obvious? You're a fucking Cerberus agent. I'm not talking to any one of you."

"I'm not a part of Cerberus."

"Don't fucking lie to me."

"I'm not lying. I used to be an Alliance man, then a Spectre. Saved the Citadel Council a couple of years back."

"Yeah, I heard about that," said Jack dismissively. "Personally, I'd have let those alien bitches burn. But that's not the point. You're wearing a Cerberus uniform now, flying a Cerberus ship."

"Why is it that you hate Cerberus so much?" I asked. I had to ask. Having a teammate on board who detests every part of the operation you're trying to run represented a significant drawback, to say the least. I needed to understand the source of her hostility.

"What would you think about people who kidnapped you, tortured and drugged you all in the name of creating the most powerful human biotic that ever lived?"

"Miranda maintains Cerberus has rogue cells, teams that don't report to the Illusive Man."

Jack's eyes suddenly blazed with anger. "That's a bit fucking convenient, don't you think? Miranda's a Cerberus bitch to the bone who swallows every last bit of crap the Illusive Man feeds her. Jacob's less of a dickhead, but he doesn't know who he is and that's not my problem."

I had to admit she had a point. The stock explanation given for Jack's torture seemed too convenient for my liking. The memory of the twisted Cerberus experiments that I had broken up long ago only served to deepen my suspicion.

"What are you looking for in those files I gave you anyway?" I asked, changing tack.

"You're friends at Cerberus are into some fucked up shit. But you knew that already, didn't you?" she said slowly, looking at me.

"I do. I helped shut down some of it. With extreme prejudice."

A hint of a smile touched her lips. "Ha! Wish I was there to see it. I'm not looking for answers or reasons in these files. I know there won't be any. I'm looking for names, dates, places."

"Let me guess, you're trying to track down the people who did all this to you?"

"Shit, you must be a fucking genius. I'm going hunting. Everyone who ever hurt me pays. Their friends pay. Their families pay. Anyone who ever spoke a word to them pays."

I stared at her for a good long while, trying to decide whether or not she was being serious. "I'm afraid I'll have to stop you. There's been a lot of death in this war. I'm not letting any more innocent people get killed."

"I signed up for your goddamn mission. After that, what I do is my business, 'Commander'," she retorted. I knew she was right.

"You think about this all the time, don't you? About your plans for revenge."

Jack wasn't one to hide. "Yeah, I do. I go to sleep with it. I wake up with it. Every time I kill someone, I pretend it's the people who did this to me. Judge me if you want to, Shepard. I couldn't give a fuck."

I looked down at my hands. I wasn't sure that I wouldn't be doing the same had I been in her position. Compared to lots of others, I had a great childhood. I may not have set foot on solid ground until I was two years old, but my mom and dad were always around when I needed them. I couldn't imagine growing up subjected to the tender mercies of morally bankrupt scientists, caring only for the continuation of their project and less about the damage they were doing to a young girl.

"You don't have to live in this pit, you know," I said after a while. "I could give you a room in the crew quarters. Private one, even."

"This place is fine. Dark, quiet and hard to find. That spells safety to me," she said. She suddenly stood up and walked over to me until her face was inches from mine, a feral grin etched upon it.

"You know, this ship is a powerhouse. You could go pirate, live like a king." She smirked. "I could help."

"You'd be my first mate?" I asked. Despite myself, I actually liked the sound of that idea. Stealing the Illusive Man's finest ship and cruising the galaxy? Sounded like fun to me.

"I'd lead the boarding parties. And handle the executions," she said casually.

"What is it about killing that fascinates you so much?"

"A bit rich coming from a soldier like you."

"That's different," I said. "I have a duty to protect the people I serve."

"Yeah, and there's a god who loves us all and if you try really hard you can turn lead into gold," mocked Jack. "I figure every time someone dies and it's not me, that's one less asshole trying to kill me."

"You'd kill the entire galaxy just to feel safe?"

"If that's what it takes."

"That's not what I'd do."

"That's because you're not me. Walk a mile in my shoes, soldier boy. See how cool you can be then. See whether you believe in any 'duty' after that."

We clearly weren't getting anywhere, and if I said what I really felt I'd just end up pissing her off. I stood up and prepared to leave. "Let me know if you find anything in those Cerberus files."

"Oh don't worry your little head over that," said Jack, stretching out on a makeshift bunk. "You'll know."

I climbed up the stairs, paused, and turned around.

"If you don't want to eat in the mess with the rest of the crew, you don't have to. I'll get someone to bring you your meals."

"Don't even think about it," said Jack, her eyes closed. "Any Cerberus bitch could slip something in my food, drug me up. I'm not letting that happen again."

"Okay then, I'll bring it down myself. Do you think you can trust me?"

Jack opened her eyes and stared at me suspiciously. I got the distinct feeling I had surprised her, something which I sensed didn't happen often. "I don't think you're Cerberus. Cerberus dogs get up to all kinds of shit, but the Illusive Man won't tolerate someone blowing up his experiments," she decided after a long moment. "You're an asshole, but at least you're not Cerberus. You want to drag down lunch trays, knock yourself out. Like I said, it's your goddamn ship."

"It is. I'll see you soon," I said, going up the stairs. I could feel her stare on my back, recalled the look of confusion on her face. It wasn't much, but I'd opened a crack in the door. I just hoped there wasn't a backdraft of flame awaiting me when I got it open.


	4. Assassin's Creed

**Chapter 4 – Assassin's Creed**

**Ilium**

**Tasale System**

"Whoa commander! Watch where you're pointing that thing!" yelped Joker. I was deciding whether to take the Vindicator or the Revenant Machine Gun, and was checking the weight and target sights of both. I decided on the Revenant and felt it snap onto the automated locks on the back of my armour. Joker was still looking nervous, and I smiled sardonically. I wasn't about to pass up a line like that.

"That's what she said last night!"

"Oh, very funny commander. Comic genius," said Joker sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "Next you'll be telling me it was my mom."

"I did ask her not to tell you until you were ready to hear it."

"Seriously commander? You're off to recruit one of the deadliest assassins in the galaxy, and all you can think of are Yo Momma jokes? That's it, I quit. I'll herd cows on some ranch somewhere. Learn to juggle geese. Anything's better than this."

"Commander Shepard isn't being honest with you, Lieutenant Moreau," piped up EDI. The glowing blue ball that represented her 'face' winked and flashed periodically, but I knew her actual consciousness was housed in the AI core past Chakwas's office. "My records indicate he did not leave the ship the previous night, and your mother has not stepped aboard the _Normandy _at any point during its operational service."

I broke up laughing helplessly as Joker flailed his arms wildly. "I can't take it any more! EDI, that was a joke! Not a very good one as jokes go, considering my own efforts, but it was a joke nonetheless. Shepard was just being an ass."

"I apologise, Flight Lieutenant. So the commander was in fact, speaking in jest?"

"God, it's like speaking to a child."

"My intelligence quotient vastly outstrips any known number of human child prodigies - "

"The commander was speaking in jest. He tends to do that."

"So that was a joke," said EDI doubtfully.

"A sucky one, but yes."

"I see. Thank you for the information, Lieutenant." The glowing orb winked and vanished. Joker spun around in his chair to face me.

"Oh nice job sir. Now the creepy AI will start making horrible puns next."

"Might as well get her started on the good stuff. Give her some Carlin, Bill Hicks, Monty Python. You know, the classics."

"Classics? More like ancient history."

"Don't knock it until you've heard it." I leaned against a wall and adjusted my visor. "Where the hell is Zaeed? I asked him to round up Jack and Grunt and report here five minutes ago."

"You're taking Grunt and Jack along with Zaeed? What, you're going to blow up the planet or something?"

I grinned. "You noticed huh? That asari contact Liara helped us to find mentioned that Nassana Dantius wasn't sparing any expense on security. They've got entire companies of mercs, heavy mechs, turret emplacements, the works. Thought I'd better bring in my own big guns for the scorched earth response. The rest of the team are backup if needed. Someone needs to guard the ship."

"So an entire army of some of the toughest mercs in the galaxy, armed to the teeth with the best weapons money can buy versus the four of you guys...those poor bastards don't stand a chance. Zaeed's basically future you but takes checks, Grunt's the most krogany krogan that ever kroganned, which is way too much krogan, and I'm not saying one word about Jack. I prefer my head to remain on my shoulders. Try to go easy on those mercs commander."

"I will," I said nonchalantly, and jerked a thumb over my shoulder. "Can't speak for them."

The elevator at the far end of the bridge had opened, and out stepped Zaeed, Grunt and Jack. They had all armoured up and were packing the heaviest weapons Jacob had collected. Well, except for Jack. She was still half-naked and had all the protection a couple of belts could afford. Although the noticeable absence of too many scars on her skin was a proclamation of her survival skills considering all the fights she must have been in.

"Sorry about the delay, Shepard," growled Zaeed. "Couldn't find this one anywhere. Had to crawl through the entire cargo hold to find her."

"Watch it," shot back Jack, and I was somehow reminded of a viper hissing defiance at some larger predator. "I told you I don't like people coming into my space. The next time you go down there without warning I'll rip your head off."

"Hah! I'd like to see you try," sneered Zaeed. "But your attitude's refreshing. We could have used a crazy bitch like you back when we blew up that asari cruiser."

"You couldn't handle me," said Jack. She was carrying a shotgun loosely in her right hand, as if unfamiliar with using guns. I knew that wasn't the case. Jack did prefer to use her biotic abilities in battle, but she had adapted quickly to ranged weapons.

"And the big ugly here took too long over choosing which shotgun to take. I told him they're all the same, as long as they can blow an asari commando apart at twenty paces, it's doing its job."

"The mercenary speaks the truth," rumbled Grunt. "Warlord Degall said once the weapon doesn't matter as long as the warrior wielding it is well trained." The tank-bred krogan had an interesting pattern of coloured scales on his head, different from the solid armoured plate of bone that dominated the skulls of other krogan. It was a tempting target, but I'd seen first hand that Grunt was able to shrug off a direct blast to the forehead and gut the poor sod who shot him. His regenerative abilities were extremely impressive as well. Any open wounds literally clotted over and began to knit back together within a matter of minutes. It was all this power I was counting on to make it through Dantius towers in one piece.

"See you in a bit, Joker," I said, preparing to engage the airlock. "Remember, if you don't hear from me after half an hour, you take this ship and you come rescue me."

"What, and risk my ship?" Joker teased. "Might have to think on that, sir."

"I mean it. It's cold out there. Don't want to get left behind."

We left the ship and walked down the docking bay and into the commercial area of Ilium, attracting more than a couple of stares. The asari trade world drew all manner of galactic lifeforms, but even a blind volus could tell we were serious trouble. There was more than a little swagger in our step, I had to admit, and I wasn't sure why it mattered. We were four of the hardest, toughest sons of bitches the galaxy had the misfortune to endure. Seryna had asked us to wait until the end of the day, so as to allow the shift workers to clear out and give us a cleaner run of the place. Fine by me. I felt like sauntering down to the Eternity bar and grabbing another shot of krogan ryncol from Aethyta. With Zaeed, Jack and Grunt by my side, this was going to be a cakewalk.

**Shift**

"Take him down! Goddamnit, someone take that salarian down! He's got us pinned down with that goddamn rocket launcher of his!"

"I can't see the bastard!" roared back Zaeed. "And I'm out of inferno grenades! Used up the last cunting one on that group of LOKIs! What are you waiting for bitch, hit him with that juice o' yers!"

"I need some cooldown time, alright!" screamed Jack. "I can't just snap my fingers and summon up another shockwave so soon after the last one!"

"Then what bloody use are you?" shouted Zaeed, spit flying from his mouth. Jack was ready to tear him apart limb from limb, and I quickly moved between her and the old mercenary.

"Stand down, both of you! Focus on the mission!" Another rocket blast exploded mere inches from us and we dived back down under cover as one. "Far as I can tell, he's the last one of his team. Take him out and we get a clear run to the elevator."

"If you got any sodding bright ideas, now's the best sodding time!" said Zaeed, popping an overheated thermal clip from his assault rifle and locking a new one in.

"He's going to run out of ammo sooner or later. Grunt, how are your shields holding up?"

"Almost a hundred percent," he replied calmly. He hadn't taken part in the shouting match, and was lurking behind a convenient wall.

"Good. By my count, the merc doesn't have enough rockets left to take them down. Charge him."

"Charge him and take a couple of rockets to the face? You'd better be right about this Shepard," growled Grunt menacingly. "Or else you're next."

"You wanted tough fights, you've got them. Charge him! Or I'll shoot you myself!"

"Spoken like a true krogan. RARRRRRGH!"

Grunt emerged from behind cover and picked up speed, his armoured feet pounding the floor and making it vibrate slightly with each step. He continued roaring as he ate up the ground. The overall effect was that of a rampaging dinosaur, the kind that ruled planet Earth millions and millions of years ago.

A rocket zoomed towards Grunt and exploded against his shields. He leapt out of the cloud of smoke and kept going, barely fazed. Another rocket was fired, and slammed right into Grunt's face. He shook his head and continued charging, not losing a step.

To my horror, yet another rocket was fired. By my count the merc had only two shots left, but evidently I was wrong. I had counted on Grunt's shields being able to take two rocket blasts, I don't know if they could withstand three.

The third rocket exploded, and I could see the faint haze of shimmering blue wink and die out as Grunt's shields failed. He roared again, and this time there was a note of pain in his voice. I could see blood and smelled charred flesh. That last rocket had hurt Grunt. But it hadn't stopped him. And the merc was finally out of rockets.

Grunt took a running leap over the row of crates that the Eclipse merc was using for cover and crashed to the floor with such force it toppled over a couple of unfinished pillars. The merc screamed in terror, a cry that was cut short as Grunt got hold of him. I caught myself waiting for a shotgun blast, and when it didn't come I poked my head above my own barrier.

"Grunt! All clear?"

"It's over Shepard," Grunt said shortly. Jack and Zaeed followed me as we walked over to where he was standing, and we were met with a horrific sight.

Grunt hadn't used his gun to kill the merc. He had used his hands. The salarian had been wearing a full set of body armour with a helmet, and even so Grunt had quite literally torn him apart. The visor had fallen off, and even in that alien salarian face there was a clear expression of terror, the one he must have been wearing the moment he died. Salarian blood was everywhere, glistening in the neon lights.

"That's one asshole who won't be bothering us any more," said Jack appreciatively. Zaeed had an almost fatherly smile on his scarred face as he stepped through the mess.

"I'm sorry Grunt. I thought he had only two rockets left. You did a good job," I said at last, not wanting to comment on the butchered merc. Grunt had certain issues with controlling his rage, but it didn't affect his combat competence. Hell, it might have actually helped raise it. The thing was that I was willing to exploit it for my own purposes. I wasn't sure if I was doing the right thing.

"I'll be fine," said Grunt. He wasn't kidding. The burnt flesh was already sloughing off him like a snake sheds its skin, and if I looked closely I knew I would see new skin and muscle growing before my eyes to replace it. "Let's get to that assassin."

We took the elevator up to the top floor in uncharacteristic silence. Usually I'd have to hear some kind of boast from Grunt about how tough he was, some kind of smart-ass remark from Jack, or a moaning complaint from Zaeed about how the mercs he used to shoot were so much tougher back in his day. Not now however. I had severely underestimated the amount of security Nassana had hired to protect herself. She was holed up in the penthouse, but there was a damn army on every floor! We had been pushed almost to our limits just making it this far.

There was no more swagger. No more joking around. I wanted to find the assassin and get the heck out, and it suddenly occurred to me Nassana had hired several armies' worth of firepower not to protect herself from us, but from _him. _

**Shift**

The elevator door opened, and we saw a single Eclipse merc pacing around a small room at the far end of the hall, near a window. He appeared to be speaking on his communicator and hadn't seemed to noticed us. Zaeed aimed his gun, but I signalled to him to back down. I wanted some answers from this guy.

"No, I haven't heard from teams four or five...don't worry, my team is ready to go. I haven't seen him...yes, yes it's under control. Don't worry. I'll go down there myself. No, we won't need reinforcements," said the Eclipse merc, tapping his head set. He was clad head to toe in the by now annoyingly familiar yellow armor with the black 'E' logo on the front, and sported a submachine gun at his hip. I wasn't about to let him reach for it.

"Hands in the air, and turn around very slowly," I ordered. The merc turned around, and was greeted with the sight of four gun barrels all aimed at his face.

"Tell me where the assassin is, and I might let you live," I said menacingly.

"If I knew that, I wouldn't be here. Who are you? Did Nassana send for you?"

"You've got two ways down from here," I said, taking a step forward so that he had to back up against the window. The fragile, easily broken glass window. "Express or coach. Your choice. Start talking."

"Look pal," he said belligerently. "Even if knew where he was, I wouldn't tell you. I've got a hundred of my boys on this floor. I can have them in here in a second."

"Not the answer I was looking for."

"I've got nothing more to say to you. If you shoot me my team will come running. So why don't you - argh!"

I grabbed the merc captain by the throat and shoved him backwards, hard. The glass window shattered into pieces on contact and he careened off the tower, screaming into the night on the way down. Seventy stories was a long way to fall. At heights like this, there wouldn't be a body at the bottom. There'd be little more than a smear.

"Holy _shit_," breathed Jack. "And here I thought you were a pussy."

"He could have contacted his team, alerted them somehow. The fact he was so confident meant he was hiding something up his sleeve and I don't want to stick around long enough to find out what. Plus he was wasting my time. We need to find Krios before he gets to Nassana and leaves the tower."

"Hey, I thought it was awesome. Don't make me regret complimenting you with all your justification bullshit," said Jack offhandedly. Grunt had been listening closely though, which I suspected was a subset of his training programme. He was constantly learning new and better ways with which to wage war, and in me he'd found the perfect teacher.

Zaeed hadn't been paying attention. He had wandered a little way into the next room, and yelled over his shoulder.

"Oi, Shepard! More mercs over here! A whole arseload!"

"Hello dead people," remarked Jack with some satisfaction, a smile of pure anticipation transforming her face and making it seem even more beautiful than before. I'd only ever seen this smile prior to charging headlong into battle against suicidal odds.

The funny thing is...I could have sworn I sometimes had the exact same smile on my face when I gave the order to attack.

**Shift**

"Here's the thing I don't understand, Shepard."

"Lay it on me, Grunt."

"We spared the lives of those pathetic salarians."

"Yeah, cos they gave us some valuable info on Krios. Plus they were innocent."

"That's ridiculous. How do you define innocent? Any one of those salarians could have had a thermal detonator and blown us up."

"They weren't shooting at us."

"One of them had a weapon."

"He was insane. And you cracked his skull taking him out. Sweet right cross by the way."

"Thank you."

"The point is Grunt, you can't just slaughter every civilian on the off-chance that they might be dangerous. It seems like a simple, elegant solution..."

"It's the only way to live," proclaimed Zaeed.

"...but it's actually short-term thinking. Any one of those civilians could have powerful friends and family. Somewhere down the road, you're just setting yourself up for more trouble."

"That happens, I'll kill them too," said Jack.

"Those friends are gonna have their own friends. Can you kill the entire galaxy?"

"Why not?" replied Jack and Grunt at the same time, and then they looked at each other in surprise. Zaeed roared with laughter.

"Would you look at the balls on the pair of 'em. Reminds me of myself when I was a nipper."

I carried on, scouting the doorways for additional threats. We had fought our way past a particularly tough group of mercenaries on a yawning bridge that spanned the towers, and that was a hell of a fight. I nearly slipped and fell to my death a couple of times.

**Shift**

_"Grunt, take down those turrets! Zaeed, lay down some suppressing fire, and watch out for those snipers! Jack, you - argh!"_

_I had let my guard down for a split second, and it felt like the Hammer of Thor had come crashing down on my head. A sniper shot must have penetrated my shields, and while it didn't pierce my helmet, it was still enough to knock me off my feet. Only problem was, we were on a bridge five feet wide in gale-force winds._

_I skidded towards the edge, with the sick realization in my heart that I couldn't stop myself in time. Dimly, I wondered if it was God's punishment for having shoved that merc out of the window. I was about to share his fate._

_"Shepard!"_

_A slim figure moving at speeds that didn't seem human, and suddenly Jack was there, grabbing my hand. In my armour I weighed more than three hundred pounds, yet this young woman who couldn't weigh more than ninety pounds soaking wet had stopped me from going over the edge._

_"Get the fuck back over here!"_

_The blue glow had surrounded Jack, she was drawing on her biotic abilities to augment her strength. I pulled on her arm and managed to scramble back up onto the platform._

_"Nice save."_

_"Now you owe me," she said. It wasn't a joke either, it was more like a statement of fact. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw another merc taking aim._

_"Get down!" I shoved Jack hard, and she went sprawling backwards. A second later, a burst of rifle fire whizzed through the air where her head had been previously. I took aim and blasted the merc to bits._

_"Now we're even," I called. "A commander always pays his debts."_

_Jack's face had become the same blank mask I'd noticed back on the Normandy. Without saying anything she leapt over her barricade and sent a group of mercs flying off the bridge and spiralling to their deaths. _

**Shift**

"That door's locked down tight, Shepard. And I'm out of explosives," reported Zaeed. We had reached the penthouse where Nassana was cowering.

I mentally kicked myself for not bringing along a hacker. I'd been so focused on the firepower I'd neglected someone with infiltration skills.

"I guess we could radio the _Normandy _and ask Tali or Kasumi to get over here," mused Zaeed.

"That could take a while," said Grunt.

"Yeah, I'm not waiting that long," I said. "Grunt, open the door."

"With pleasure," he said, loading up his shotgun. He emptied his entire ammo clip blasting away at the lock, while we watched from a safe distance. He then bashed away at the hole he made with the butt of his shotgun. Finally, he slammed into the door over and over with his powerful fists. Under such furious attacks the locking mechanism on the door failed, and it slid open.

Nassana was in a small round room, dominated in the centre by a huge console that projected a variety of holographic readouts. Behind her, a long, wide window revealed the cityscape of Ilium, illuminated by light from neon and sun. She was surrounded by a team of Eclipse vanguards, who trained their weapons on us as we walked in.

"Shepard? But you're dead!"

"I got better," I said simply, wishing for a moment Joker was here so he could appreciate the reference. He was as big a Monty Python geek as I was. Oh well, maybe I'd tell him once we got back.

"And now you're here to kill me," she said slowly. She hadn't given the order to fire, and my team took advantage of that to train their own guns on the target of their choice.

"Please, you're not worth my time. I've got bigger things to worry about."

"Don't patronize me Shepard," she said. "First you kill my sister, and now you kill me. I'm sure you find this very ironic."

"That's not actually the correct definition of irony, but I'm not here to lecture you on language conventions."

Nassana paused for a moment before replying. "Then what are you here for?"

I shrugged, something I'd picked up from Kasumi. "Someone told me a certain drell was coming to kill you. I'd like to have a word with him. Figured I hang around until he blows your head off, then make my offer."

Nassana's eyes narrowed, and I knew she wasn't sure if I was being entirely serious. "You expect me to believe that? You shoot your way through half of Eclipse just to look for the drell?"

A thud above our heads made one of Nassana's guards look up. She noticed.

"What?"

"I thought I heard something."

"Damnit, check the other entrances! And you," she said, pointing a finger at me. "You stay put. When I deal with this annoying drell, you and I are going to have a talk..."

It was around this time Nassana noticed that I wasn't looking at her, but past her. The reason for this was because a green skinned humanoid in a silvery gray waistcoat had dropped out of a vent in the ceiling and landed neatly on the tips of his toes behind another one of Nassana's guards.

Before Nassana could turn around, the assassin had viciously snapped the neck of one guard, knocked out another one cold and stolen his gun, shot a fourth in the back, shot a fifth in throat, and blew off the head of the merc captain who had heard his movements in the first place. Grabbing her gun, he jammed it against Nassana's belly and fired.

Nassana's eyes bulged, and she let out a gurgle of mingled shock and pain. Gently, almost tenderly, the assassin cradled her body and lay her down on top of the console. With her dying breath, the last thing she saw was of the assassin folding her arms across her chest, then standing over her with his head bowed.

We didn't say anything. We couldn't. Despite everything the four of us had seen over the course of our lives (and that was a hell of a lot), all our mouths were hanging wide open. I'd never seen anyone move that fast and kill so quickly before.

About half a minute passed. The drell was still just standing there with his head bowed, taking no notice of the three humans and one krogan standing feet away from him. I decided to break the silence.

"Thane Krios? I'd like to speak to you."

The drell did not look up as he answered. He was the first drell I had ever seen, and I studied him carefully. He had mottled green skin, and head fringes that reminded me of an asari's. His eyes were solid black, and when he blinked it reminded me of a reptile's. His voice was low, raspy, and level as if he did not use it much, with little emotion or inflection.

"I apologise. Prayers for the wicked must not be interrupted."

I made a dismissive noise. "That's Nassana Dantius. She set me up to murder her own sister. She's had lots of other people killed for the sake of money and power. She's not worth a prayer."

"Not for her," Thane replied softly. He raised his head and came around the console to face us. "For me."

"I was curious to see how far you'd go to find me," he continued. "All this destruction and chaos...you are an interesting individual, Commander Shepard. You wield force like a sledgehammer, yet Spectres are generally subtle in their machinations. Well, here I am."

"You know we were looking for you?" asked Zaeed. I think he was tired of keeping quiet.

"Yes," Thane said simply. "Gunfire and explosions. I prefer to work quietly. If I have to fight through guards, then I've made a mistake. I rarely make mistakes."

"You don't know what you're missing out on," remarked Jack. "Half the fun's in killing the losers who get in your way."

Thane took in her odd appearance without apparent surprise or comment. "You disrupted my plan, but your distraction eventually proved valuable."

"Glad we could be of help," I said. "Let's get to the point. I'm recruiting specialists for a crucial mission of galactic importance. To put it simply, Mr. Krios, I need your help."

Thane turned his attention back to me. "I'm listening." I got the feeling he was a big fan of understatement.

"Have you heard of the Collectors?"

"Only by reputation."

"They are abducting entire human colonies across the Terminus systems. The Council won't get involved, so it's up to me to stop them. To do that, I need the best operatives in the galaxy, and your name was high on that short list."

"I see," said Thane, as calm as still water. If he recognised the praise, he did not acknowledge it. "Fighting the Collectors involves the Omega 4 relay. Everyone knows no ship has ever returned after using it."

"They told me I couldn't get to Ilos either," I said. If he knew my name, he had to know what I've done.

"A fair point. You've built a career out of achieving the impossible, commander." Thane looked away from me and out of the window, seemingly admiring the rising sun. I was a little surprised to see it. It didn't feel like I'd spent an entire night fighting my way through the Dantius towers.

"Nassana Dantius was to be my last mission," he said. "I am dying."

Again, he said it with as much ease as one might say 'I'm going to bed.'

"Is it a disease? Are you contagious?" demanded Zaeed, never one to mince words.

"We can discuss it further on board the commander's ship," said Thane. "The problem is not contagious, nor will it affect my work."

"I didn't know that," I said. "Is there anything we can do to help you?"

"Giving me this opportunity is enough. The universe is a dark place. I'm trying to make it a little brighter before I leave it. Saving human colonies was not what I had in mind for my final mission, but one does not question the will of the gods."

"Oh great, not another religious nut," said Jack in acid tones. Thane ignored her this time.

"Many innocents died today because I was not fast enough. I must atone for my actions here and for other times. I will work for you, Commander Shepard. No charge."

He held out a hand, and I shook it.

**Shift**

"Joker, you're court-martialled. Report to XO Lawson for your trial, sentencing and execution," I said as soon as I stepped on board.

"What the hell? What for?" asked Joker, clearly shocked.

"Disobeying a direct order. I seem to recall ordering you to take my ship and come rescue me if I didn't reappear after half an hour. I took the whole night getting to Krios."

"Wait a minute, you said to rescue you if you didn't make radio contact after half an hour. EDI was talking to you the whole time! I'm innocent!"

"Worth it to see that look on your face," I said. As I headed towards the elevator, I could hear EDI asking Joker if that also counted as a joke.

After the usual mission debrief, Thane was fixed up with suitable quarters in the Life Support section of the ship, and I was looking forward to a few moments of downtime before we moved on to the next mission. I headed down to the mess, where I bumped into Miranda.

"Another one in the bag," I said to her. "We'll have a full team soon enough."

"Thane does seem like an impressive assassin, given his track record and the reports on his performance during the Nassana hit. But no one told me he was dying," she said. As in everything Miranda did, her meals had to be prepared to perfection. Rupert was running himself ragged whipping up meals that wouldn't look out of place at a formal Presidium dinner for galactic politicians for her.

"Looks like Cerberus intel dropped the ball on that one. At least he's working for free."

"That worries me too," she said, adding a large bowl of _bouillabaisse _to her already overladen food tray. "Why would he agree to that? Is it really out of some professed desire to 'atone' for his actions?"

"What, you don't think people can feel guilty about their past?"

"Guilt is a powerful motivation Shepard, but it's not the only one. I'm just wary if we've seen all there is to Thane Krios."

"I'm sure we'll find out in time," I said.

"I certainly hope so," said Miranda. She then hesitated, as if working up the courage to ask me something, which I knew was patently ridiculous because Miranda had never before hesitated before asking me anything.

"Would you like to have dinner with me? I mean, there's a lot to discuss. About Thane and the mission and everything."

Was she sounding flustered? Clearly my ears were deceiving me.

"Thanks Miranda, but I'm afraid I'll have to decline. I'm bringing Jack her own dinner, probably eat down there as well. I'll talk to you later once we're done," I said, accepting a large sack of burritos and tacos and a jar of homemade salsa from Rupert.

A slight expression of annoyance crossed Miranda's face, so fast I almost thought I was mistaken for noticing it in the first place. "Fine. We'll talk later." She then left quickly for her office. I took the elevator down to the cargo hold.

Jack was lying on her bunk, idly tossing a knife up into the air and catching it on the way down before it could stab her in the stomach. She did it over and over, catching the knife at the exact same spot each time. Evidently she'd had a lot of practice with knife play.

"Got your food right here Jack," I said, by way of greeting. She sat up and eyed my sack suspiciously.

"What have you got there?"

"Thought you might like spicy food, so I asked Rupert to make some Mexican for us. It's amazing what you can buy on an asari trade world."

Jack wrinkled her nose as I passed her a burrito. "What the hell is this shit? I'm not eating it."

"Come on, take a bite," I said. I took the burrito from her and chewed it, savoring the taste of the ground meat, beans and chilli. "There, that proves I'm not trying to poison you. Pick any burrito you want."

"That has got to be the most retarded name for any kind of food ever," said Jack, fishing around in the bag and selecting one at random. I could tell her heart wasn't in the insult though, and this was one of her rude comments she made on automatic pilot. I'd read somewhere biotics used up a tremendous amount of energy to fuel their powers, and Jack had been running non-stop during our fight on Dantius towers. She had to be starving.

She took a tentative bite, and her eyes widened in surprise. She then swallowed the whole thing in another two bites and reached for another.

"Try it with some of this," I said, offering her the jar of salsa. "Goes really well with it."

We ate in silence for a while, Jack devouring most of the food I brought down. She licked her fingers in satisfaction after finishing the last burrito.

"I can get some more food if you like," I said, leaning against a wall.

"No need," said Jack shortly, sitting back on her bunk. She clearly expected me to disappear now, and was visibly frustrated when I didn't.

"Why do you keep coming down here?" she asked suddenly.

"I told you. I need to know every member of my team. Our only hope of survival lies in me knowing how each one of you will react in any situation."

"Yeah, right," she said immediately. "All you need to know is how many people we can kill before we die. That's all a soldier needs to know."

"Might be true for the soldier, because that's all he supposed to know. But I'm not a soldier. I'm an officer, and I'm responsible for all of your lives."

"Don't give me that shit," she said. "All you care about is blowing up the Collectors. You couldn't care less if the rest of us live or die."

"That's a Cerberus line of thinking," I said calmly. "I'm not Cerberus."

Jack didn't know what to say to that, so she played around with her knife some more. I was happy to let the silence continue, and looked around the hold for a while. Although it was dark, cramped, noisy and cold, the kid in me thought it was an awesome place to hide out. No wonder Jack liked it. For such a hardened killer woman she could be such a kid at times.

"If you're here to ask questions, spit them out," she said suddenly. "Obvious stuff like what's up with my ink, or what I've done in the past?"

"I'll bite," I said easily. "What's the story behind the tattoos?"

"There's a story behind each one," she said, looking down at herself. "Some are for kills. You know, good ones. Some are for the places I've been, the things I've seen. Some are for the people I've known, and that doesn't concern you or anyone else. And I got some because hey, why the fuck not?"

I studied her tattoos, and my attention must have made her feel uncomfortable. "What about you? Got any ink?"

"I used to," I said, taking off my shirt and rubbing my collarbone. Dimly, I wondered why I was doing this. Did I really think my body was going to impress Jack? I pushed the thought away.

"I had an ankh tattooed right here, in black ink."

"What's an ankh?"

"It's like a cross with the top arm replaced by an oval. It's an ancient Egyptian symbol of life and death."

"Egyptian, huh? Weren't they some old pricks back on Earth?"

"Yeah."

"Why do you like it so much?" Jack asked. "It's just a planet."

"Maybe because I never really had a home," I said. "I was born on ships, lived my whole life more or less on them. It'd be nice to stay on one spot that's yours alone in the verse."

"Don't talk to me about homes," said Jack derisively. "Never had one, never wanted one. But if you had a tat, where is it now?"

"I guess replicating my tattoo wasn't on the agenda of the Illusive Man when he pieced me back together."

"You should get it done again," said Jack. "It's like...they're sort of important, you know? They're like a message telling the rest of the verse to fuck off. So you don't have to do it yourself."

I put my shirt back on. "I guess. For me, my tattoo was about what I felt was important. As a soldier you see a lot of death. But you see life as well. Every time you manage to get your buddies through alive, every time you kill some bastard who's trying to kill you...that's life. In its purest form."

Jack was giving me a strange look. "Damn, that's like exactly what I think."

We sat in silence for a while more, before I decided to break it. "What about your past?"

"I've done a lot of bad shit. I know it's all in those files you've got on me, and I know you've read them, so don't try to deny it. Ran with gangs, joined a cult. Kept the haircut. Name the crime, I've done it. Murder, theft, arson, piracy. Theft of military property, destruction of a space station, vandalism. Yeah, I've done it all."

"You were in a cult? What happened?"

"What always happens in cults? They screw me over and try to use me for their own purposes. Same thing happened with the pirate gangs."

"What did you do to them?"

"What do you think, genius?"

I nodded, accepting the rebuke. "You've hit a military target before?"

"Hah! They're not as hard as you'd think," said Jack. "Turians die just like everyone else. Their ships are sweet though. Packed to the brim with firepower."

"I'm surprised you'd mention vandalism," I said. "Considering the fact you blew up a space station."

"The two are kind of related," said Jack, her eyes taking on a far-off look, as if recalling distant memories. "Turns out the hanar really don't like it if you fling one of their space stations out of orbit and send it crashing into one of their moons."

I couldn't help myself, and cracked a smile. Jack laughed when she saw it. It sounded a little less harsh this time around.

"I knew it! You're a violent junkie too. Don't deny it."

I wasn't, although the idea of a million pink jellyfish wringing their tentacles and soiling themselves as Jack sent a space station hurtling into a moon made me crack up. I stood up and made ready to leave.

"Hey Shepard," she said, her voice hard.

"Yeah?"

"Are you eyeing me up? Because if this is about sex, then maybe you should fucking say so."

I looked at her for a long moment, not sure how best to respond. Something Kelly said came back to me, and I marvelled at how the Yeoman had got it right on the money.

"No rush Jack," I said. "Like I said, I'm down here to learn more about you. I keep my promises."

Jack looked at me suspiciously, as if unsure whether or not to believe me.

"You know, no one's ever bothered about asking me about this shit before. Except for those bullshit prison shrinks, who try to 'help' you and crawl into your head. You're not doing this to me Shepard. I'm not some broken little girl you can pick up and miraculously fix and have eating out of your hand. I kill for fun and I like it. Once you find out this is all there is to me, you won't bother trying to make nice."

"I don't believe that."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" demanded Jack, suddenly angry.

"I don't believe this is all there is to you. And I'm not trying to get close to you because it would make an interesting case to publish for my journal. You're part of my crew for the duration of this mission Jack. This is what I do to all my crew."

Jack fell into silence again, and when she did not reply for a long while I climbed the stairs once more, ready to leave. Only when I reached the top did she speak again.

"No one's ever asked before. So fuck you, and thanks for asking."

I turned to her, but she had curled up on her bunk, facing away from me. I left her alone and went back up above deck.


	5. Old Ghosts, New Beginnings

**Chapter 5 – Old Ghosts, New Beginnings**

**The Normandy Mk II**

**Uncharted Space**

"Morning Kelly," I yawned, walking into the CIC. "Any messages for me?"

"About twenty nine. You really should clean out your inbox, sir."

"I'll get round to it. I don't suppose you could make me a cup of coffee?" I asked hopefullly.

"I'm sorry sir, I still can't find my coffee beans and other ingredients. Rupert forgot to get them for me during our last supply run."

"Kasumi..." I muttered under my breath. "Forget it then."

"Oh, Jack wants to see you down in her hidey hole."

"She does?" I asked doubtfully. "How do you know?"

"Um, she kind of grabbed me by the neck and shoved me against the wall and said 'Get the soldier boy down to my place now, ginger bitch, I need to talk to him.'"

"I...see," I said carefully. "When did this happen?"

"A little over an hour ago."

"And you didn't tell me right away?"

"I didn't want to wake you up."

"Never mind Kelly. Thanks. I'll go down there immediately."

When I went down to the cargo hold, Jack was pacing back and forth and running her hands over her shaved scalp. She was restless, on the edge and clearly agitated about something. She reminded me of a white Siberian tiger I had seen once in a zoo. The amazing, beautiful, deadly animal had stalked the length of his enclosure again and again, always placing all of its feet on the exact same spot. All that power caged and shackled, the similarities with my volatile biotic was striking.

"I've got thoughts like...little bugs buzzing around in my head. I can't or sleep, I need to deal with this. Now."

"Calm down. Tell me what's bothering you."

"Those files you gave me? I found what I was looking for. I thought I'd only get a few names and old dates. Maybe that fucking AI thought I was too dumb to dig deep enough. Whatever. The point is, I found out the exact place where they did their sick experiments on me. It's called the Teltin facility, on a planet called Pragia."

I took the datapad she was holding and looked at it. "It's in the Dakka system of the Nubian Expanse. Quiet place. No one ever goes there."

"Which is why Cerberus picked it for their most fucked up experiments. We need to go there Shepard. I can't rest knowing it's still there."

"You're absolutely certain the place was run by Cerberus?"

"I was a kid, but I wasn't stupid. I knew how to listen. It was Cerberus, don't care how far down the chain it was. They thought they were so clever. Turns out, mess with someone's head enough and you turn a scared kid into an all powerful bitch. Fucking idiots."

"What exactly are you planning to do?"

"I wanna bash my way in and go right to my old cell. I want to plant the biggest fucking bomb you've got on this ship right in the middle of it, and I want to blow the place to hell. I want every last trace of that fucking place gone forever. I need to do this Shepard."

"Hold up just a moment. I don't like Cerberus either, but they are giving us supplies and intel for the mission. Wouldn't blowing up one of their research facilities piss off the Illusive Man?"

"The data says Teltin was abandoned long ago. It's just an old ruin now. Why would they care if I blow it up?"

I could hear the desperation in her voice, and I knew that she knew I was aware of it. To be as powerful and self-proclaimedly independent as Jack, it couldn't have been easy asking for help from anyone. I knew she wanted this more than anything she'd ever had in her life, but she would still rather die before she begged me or anyone else for assistance.

Hell, that kinda reminds me of myself.

"EDI!" I called.

"Yes Commander?" replied the AI instantaneously. Jack glared at me, unsure what I was up to. She might have thought I was going to ask EDI to deny her access to further Cerberus information. She needn't have worried.

"Tell Joker to plot a course for the planet Pragia, in the Dakka system of the Nubian Expanse. Tell him we're going there right now."

"Commander, I must inform you XO Lawson has recommended a different course to be plotted, as per our ultimate campaign against the Collectors. There are still dossiers on specialists that have yet to be recruited. Pending your final approval, of course."

"EDI, you do know I consider you a part of my crew," I said pleasantly.

"Yes Commander. If I might make an observation, few humans have been willing to display such acceptance." Was she making a comment about human society? Oh hell, did I just refer to her as a 'she?' How things had changed.

"Well spotted. However, the first thing any member of my crew learns is to obey my direct orders quickly and to the letter. Miranda is not the commanding officer on board this ship, I am. Now contact Joker and relay him my orders at once," I said, my tone becoming a little more firm towards the end.

There was a slight pause, before EDI replied. "Aye aye, Commander."

"Why do you treat that thing like a person?" asked Jack with some distaste, once she was sure EDI was gone.

"The same reason I'm plotting a course for Pragia," I replied easily. "She's one of my crew."

**Pragia**

**Dakka System**

Pragia turned out to be a damp, jungle choked world filled with huge animals and rapidly-growing vegetation. The _Normandy's _scanners indicated that a fierce thunderstorm was taking place over the region where the Teltin facility was located.

I wasn't expecting trouble, so only I would be accompanying Jack to the place. Sounded simple to me, we go in, plant the bomb and blow the place sky high. To tell the truth, I was kind of looking forward to it myself. If half of what Jack said was true about the scientists and the horrors they committed within the base, it deserved to be nuked twenty times over.

There was a strained silence in the Kodiak shuttle. Jack looked uncomfortable, likely the old memories of the facility, trauma she'd rather stay buried was returning to her. I looked out of the window, but I couldn't see much. Rain lashed against the glass, and all I could make out was the dark shape of the jungle below us.

"I hate this place," Jack muttered. "See that landing pad? Has to be on the roof, or else the plants would overgrow it in a few hours."

EDI suddenly chimed in. "I'm detecting a number of thermal signatures coming from the base Commander, but none from the landing pad itself."

"Something's disturbing the sensors," I said, frowning. "Probably wild animals that broke into the place. Or maybe a few machines they forgot to turn off. This was a secret Cerberus facility, and they built their equipment to last."

"Assholes," said Jack with some venom. "It was a mistake coming back here Shepard."

I looked at her until she was forced to meet my eyes. "Hey," I said gently. "You said you needed this. I think you do too. If blowing up this base is what it takes to make it easier for you to come to terms with your past, then that's what we're going to do."

Jack looked away. "Yeah. Okay," she said quietly. "Let's get to that landing pad."

The entire facility loomed over us, dark and foreboding. The few windows I could see were broken, there were plants growing everywhere and perhaps it was Jack's recollections of her torture at the hands of those deviants, but I felt as though the very air was choked with the memory of sin and pain. With the lightning, thunder and heavy rain in the background, the overall effect was like that of a Gothic castle in some old movie.

We clambered over the catwalk and managed to find an entrance into the place. I had the bomb strapped to my back, a small, one-man nuclear fission device. Primitive, but powerful. It could devastate everything within a fifty kilometer radius and leave nothing but scorched earth and charred rock. I was just the tiniest bit apprehensive about lugging that thing around that close to my body however.

"I never saw this room," whispered Jack. We appeared to be in some kind of lobby, the floors were thick with dust and grime and mud, old crates were strewn haphazardly about in the corners.

"I think they brought new kids in these containers. They were messed up, starving, but alive. Usually."

We went down another ramp, and a security console was replaying an old holographic message, over and over. The image was of a bearded man in black armour.

_"The Illusive Man has requested another report and our operation logs. I think he's getting suspicious. We'll be more careful this time."_

"Looks like they were working behind the Illusive Man's back," I remarked, watching as the console repeated its message. It must have done so for years, on and on without anyone to pay attention. I shut it off.

"He didn't say what they were hiding from him. That bastard still could have ordered the start of their experiments. Let's just move on."

We emerged into a large room dominated by a clear glass ceiling. In here as in everywhere else in this ruined place, tendrils were snaking everywhere on the floor, covering up broken and damaged equipment and furniture.

"I remember escaping to this room. Fighting here," Jack mused, pausing for a moment. "I remember seeing sunlight through the cracks in the ceiling. Only a half-dead guard between me and freedom. He was on his knees, begging for his life."

The expression on her face made it clear what that guard's fate had been.

We had gotten about halfway through the room when a couple of wild varren charged at us, their jaws wide in anticipation. I shot one right in its open mouth, Jack flung the other one against a wall so hard I could hear its spine break. I resolved not to holster my weapon. Evidently the place still had its dangers despite being abandoned.

An old bloodstain on the floor caught my attention. It was in the middle of a fenced-off area. It kind of reminded me of an arena. I called Jack over and she confirmed it.

"Yeah, they used to stage fights here. Pit me against other kids."

I was about to say something when Jack went on. "I loved it. Only time I was ever out of my cell."

Not the answer I was expecting.

"What were they studying?" I asked.

"Hell if I know. Maybe that's how they got their kicks. I never understood any of the shit that went on in here. I was in a cell my whole life. Sometimes they took me out and forced me to fight, filled me with drugs and other shit."

"Did any of the other kids die in these fights?" I asked, not really wanting to hear the answer.

"I was a kid myself. I got shocked if I refused or hesitated. Narcotics flooded my veins the instant I attacked." That feral smile crept across her face again. "I still get warm feelings during a fight," she said in a voice that was almost sultry.

I thought I had heard all there was to hear about the Teltin facility, but I was wrong. More than anything else, this shocked me, _offended _me on some deep and personal level. This kind of shit did not belong in a civilized universe. This was barbarism, moral bankruptcy of the vilest kind, and what was the worst thing about it to my mind was the fact it was done in the name of 'science'. That pissed me off something fierce. The people here did not deserve the title of scientist, nor did they deserve to claim the name of science as justification for their own sick evil.

Science was a tool for the betterment of mankind, not nightmarish horrors to be inflicted on innocent children. Children! The only comparable level of disgust I'd ever felt was when I was communicating with Sovereign, that millennia old machine. There was the same sense of utter wrongness, and it made me so furious I wished Jack had brought me here sooner so I could have blown this place to hell sooner.

Remember whose logos are on the walls of this place. The Illusive Man can deny it till the day he dies, but even if he didn't order these experiments, they still couldn't have been done without his resources.

"Let's get going," I muttered.

"Hell yes," agreed Jack.

We walked further into the facility, and came across another security console. I bid Jack to halt while I tried to replay the last message recorded. Maybe I could find some answers.

The holo image of another man in black security armour was displayed, and he began to speak. _"Security Officer Zemkl of Teltin facility. The subjects have escaped, and they're tearing the place up! Subject Zero is going to break loose, I need permission to terminate, repeat, requesting permission for a kill order stat!"_

The man stopped talking as another voice answered, presumably the head of the security control. _"All subjects beside Zero are expendable. Shoot the little fuckers dead, but keep Jack alive!"_

_"Understood. I'll begin the - "_

Zemkl was cut off as Jack stopped his holo recording. She turned to me. "That's not right. I broke out when the guards disappeared. I started that riot in the first place," she said slowly.

"Things might have happened that you didn't see."

"The other kids attacked me. The guards attacked me. The automated defense systems attacked me," she said, her voice rising. "That doesn't leave a lot of room for interpretation!"

I had nothing to say to that, and we moved on in silence. We came across another dead varren, the blood still oozing from its wounds.

"This place is supposed to be empty. Who the fuck shot that varren? It's a fresh kill," said Jack, her sharp eyes spotting something I'd missed.

My instincts had been telling me Teltin was a bad place before I'd even stepped foot on it. Now it was a wailing alarm inside my head. I got the feeling we were not as alone as I had first thought, and found myself wishing I had brought along more people for cover.

"Keep your eyes open. Something doesn't feel right," I said.

We went down some more steps and entered a small room that was lined with tables. Old cloths draped one or two of them, and it was clear this place had been a morgue.

"Why did they need a morgue? This place was a small facility," asked Jack, sounding confused.

"Other children must have been dying in large numbers. Maybe they couldn't endure whatever it was those sick fucks were doing to them."

"Bullshit," snapped Jack. "I had the worst of it, I was tortured the most, and I survived! I made it out alive!"

So she had, but I couldn't help but wonder if there was more to anger that put an edge in Jack's voice. I was willing to bet there was a touch of guilt as well. It was clear that many children had died here, and from the security logs it was clear Jack was their prized specimen. The thought that somehow, even it was indirectly, that you were responsible for the countless deaths of other children...

How do you _live _with that?

I glanced at Jack. She had to, somehow. And it had cut her up worse than she could bear with. I was beginning to realise why Jack was as broken as she was.

"It feels so strange to be back here. I feel like...I'm pissed off. It's like, I'm a dangerous bitch, but then I'm a little girl again," said Jack, walking ahead of me.

Again, I didn't know what to say. I found myself wishing I had brought Kelly along, although there was no guarantee she'd know what to say either. Who could, when confronted with evil of this magnitude?

"Shit, I don't know. It's complicated. Let's just go plant that damn bomb."

We passed by a row of open cells that looked oddly familiar. It took me a moment to place it, and then it hit me. I'd seen similar arrangements on Purgatory. Except they didn't keep hardcore criminals on lockdown in this place, they were imprisoning children here.

Maybe God could have forgiven the people who ran this place, but I wasn't about to, because I knew damn sure that they knew what they were doing. And they went ahead with it anyway.

We entered another large room, dominated by a tree in the middle and a catwalk leading to the far side, where a large opaque pane of glass took up the length of an entire wall. Jack went up to it and pressed her face against it, ignoring the dirt.

"This is a two-way mirror? My cell is right on the other side. I could see all the other kids out here. I screamed myself hoarse for hours, and they always ignored me," she whispered.

Eventually she pulled herself away from the glass. I knew we were getting close to the end.

We came into a laboratory area, a dark space with a surgical chair in the middle, illuminated by a flickering light from the ceiling. I didn't want to think of how scared the children must have been, to be strapped down in it, injected with drugs and who knows what else. They could have been pumping the kids with AIDS or other viruses. That was something akin to rape. Your body, being violated, and there was nothing you could do to stop it.

"I must have come through here when I escaped, but I don't remember it," said Jack, looking around. "This is a bad place."

"No shit," I agreed. I spied another data console and hoped it was still in working condition. It apparently was, and I played back the last few entries.

A thin, bald man with a moustache popped into the air in front of us. He was wearing a lab coat rather than armour, and I guessed he was one of the scient...no, I wasn't going to dignify that worthless piece of crap with the name of scientist. One of the monsters who headed the project.

_"The introduction of PergNim went poorly," he said. "Subjects One, Four and Six died. We lowered the core temperatures of the remaining subjects and tried again, but no biotic enhancement was noted. As a side effect, all of the subjects died. So we'll not try that on Zero. I hope our supply of biotic capable test subjects last, we're running out of them fast."_

My handss clenched convulsively. I wanted to grab that monster by his throat and choke him to death. Speaking about the deaths of children with no emotion other than mild annoyance...

"Bullshit!" roared Jack. "They weren't experimenting on other children for my safety!" She slammed a fist down onto the console, making it spark and die. "I survived this place because I was tougher than the rest. That's who I am! Not because those assholes wanted me to live!"

As much as I wanted to agree with her, I couldn't. All evidence pointed to the fact that the entire point of Teltin revolved around Jack and what she was capable of.

"It doesn't matter, Jack. You move on, harder and stronger. They tried to break you, but they didn't. They wanted to control you, but they couldn't. They lost Jack. You survived. Nothing else matters."

Jack stared at me with such hurt in her eyes. I wanted to go over to her and hold her. Just a touch, simple human contact to let her know she was not alone, that at least one person understood her. But it wouldn't have been wise. It wasn't the right moment. Jack never responded well to physical contact at the best of times, and this was hardly the most conducive environment.

Surprisingly, the console fizzled back to life again. It was the same man, but a different message.

_"What a...ing disaster! This girl was a living weapon, and its...gone to hell! We'll cut our...shut the whole thing...sneak into the Alliance's Ascension prog...that way, maybe we can..."_

The image looked to its left.

_"Who are...Zero, no!"_ The man was flung off screen, and the holo died for good.

"Shepard, they were going to start again. From within the Alliance!" said Jack worriedly.

"Acension is an Alliance-run programme," I said. "I've known a few Marines who graduated from there. It's a school for biotic kids. They don't torture anyone there."

If Jack could be persuaded that she had stopped the next generation of Teltin from occurring...it might be what she needed to put this all behind her. I had to make her believe that.

"A lot of this isn't how I remembered," she said, almost petulantly. "We're almost at my old cell now. The place where I came from. Let's go."

I opened the door, and took a step back. The ante room was filled with a number of vorcha carrying heavy weapons, and a group of krogan in red battle armour. One of them tapped his communicator upon seeing me.

"Hey Aresh, it's Kureck. Yeah, the intruders are here. If you want them dead, it's going to cost you extra."

Guess they were the thermal signatures EDI had picked up while scanning the place, and like a fool, I'd assumed it wasn't a threat.

"Who the hell are you?" demanded Jack. "This place was supposed to be empty!"

The krogan ignored her. "You said there'd be good salvage, but this place is a dump! Yeah...yeah. Okay, whatever. Alright, kill them."

I was about to spray the room with bullets, when I remembered I had a certain thermonuclear device strapped right in the middle of my freaking back. One stray round or rocket or jet of flame, and everything within a hundred kilometers would be disintegrated to their constituent atoms.

"Jack I need to hide the nuke! Try to hold them off until I come back!" I yelled, diving out of sight. I ran back into the lab and tried to work the nuke off my back as quickly as possible. There were a ton of mercs in there, Blood Pack most probably, and she was going to need my help.

There was a lot of shouting and screaming and the guttural roars of the krogan coming from the room, followed by a massive shockwave as something big went off, but as long as it wasn't the nuke I ignored them. Finally I shrugged off the last strap and charged back into the room, weapon raised. I skidded to a dead halt, mouth hanging open.

Jack was standing on a crate in the center of the room, breathing heavily. Around her were dead vorcha and dead krogan. Not one of them had survived. Blood splattered the walls, pieces of broken armour littered the floor.

She turned to stare at me, and I felt a chill go down my spine despite myself.

"Sorry, I had to find cover," I managed to say. "I had a freaking nuke on me, one shot could have blown us to Kingdom Come."

Jack blinked. "Oh, yeah. The nuke, yeah. Sorry, forgot about that. No wonder you were running. Should have realised that. The only room left is my cell. Whoever Aresh is, he's in there."

I retrieved the nuke, opened the last door, and we went in.

Jack's cell was a small, dark room. Standing in the middle of it was a man dressed in nondescript clothing. He looked young, but his face looked as weary and ravaged as that of an ancient.

"My name is Aresh, and you are breaking into my home," he said slowly, with a strange inflection to his voice. I know you, Subject Zero. All these years, and I thought I was the only survivor."

"My name is Jack," she said, aiming her gun at his face. "How the hell do you know who I am?"

"We all knew your face Jack," he said quietly. "They inflicted their horrors upon us so their experiments wouldn't kill you. You were the question, and I am looking for the answer."

"Why are you here, Aresh?" I said carefully.

"I hired those mercs. We're rebuilding the facility, piece by piece. One day this place will be restored to its true glory. Then I will unlock the secrets those scientists were looking for."

"I wanted a hole in the ground, but this crazy bastard wants to restart the whole thing!"

"Aresh, the monsters here deserved to die painfully for what they did to you and the other children. You'd start that all over again?" I asked.

"Our pain and suffering must have been worth something!" he shouted suddenly, making us jump. "They wouldn't have done such terrible things to us if they didn't have good reasons...surely...surely we didn't suffer for nothing..."

"He's insane!" said Jack. Her arm glowed blue, and Aresh was flung off his feet and knocked to the ground. Jack aimed her gun at him and tightened her finger on the trigger.

"Please...just leave me here...this is where I belong," gibbered the poor man.

"Stop! Look at him. Killing him changes nothing," I said quickly.

"Fuck that!" screamed Jack. "He wants to torture and kill people all over again, I won't let that happen!"

"Jack, think about it for a second," I said urgently. "He's a broken down trauma victim who hasn't got two credits to rub together. He knows nothing of biotics and his team of mercs are dead. All this talk of rebuilding Teltin are the ramblings of a broken man. Do you want to live like he does? Endlessly reliving his pain over and over, trapped in the past?"

Jack's arm trembled, still gripping her gun tight. Then she lowered it.

"Fuck. Fuck off, Aresh. Go!"

Aresh scrambled to his feet and took off like all hell was at his heels.

"He's not worth it. None of this is," she said, her arms slumping to her sides.

"You have to let it go, Jack," I said softly. "All of it."

"Yeah," she said glumly. "Just...just give me a moment to look around, okay? This room was my whole childhood."

"Take all the time you need."

I watched as Jack showed me all the relics of her past. The bed where they'd tied her down and pumped her with drugs and sedatives. The table where she'd crawled underneath to cry. The 'window' where she pounded and screamed, never attracting the attention of the other children. Even the bloodstain on the corridor outside where she killed her first man.

"Okay," she said at last. "No more wallowing in the past. Let's blow this place to hell."

**Shift**

We raced away in the Kodiak shuttle. The storm hadn't let up, instead it was raining even harder now. We had set up the nuke in the middle of Jack's cell and armed it.

She flicked the top of the detonator switch, opening and closing it obsessively. I had warned her not to press the button until we had gotten further than fifty kilometers.

Click...click...click. There was a strange expression in Jack's eyes. She looked lost, hurt, even vulnerable. But I knew she was taking an important step on the road to her recovery.

I looked at my omni-tool. Forty seven...forty eight...forty nine...

I nodded at Jack. She flicked the switch open and pressed down hard.

The resulting explosion was one of the sweetest I had ever heard.

**Shift**

It was a few days after Teltin had been reduced to randomized atoms. Jack had been quiet and withdrawn, even more so than usual. The rest of us carried out a couple of assignments, nothing major, and worked on upgrading the _Normandy._ I knew Jack needed time to deal with what we saw and heard there, and I wanted to give her all the time she needed.

I went down the stairs into the engineering deck, carrying some food. It had become a ritual, almost, and I was eating down there more often than in the mess or in my own quarters.

"Hungry?"

Jack was sitting on her bunk, staring into space. She snapped out of it when she heard me.

"Yeah. What have you got there?"

"Fried chicken and mashed potatoes. Old family recipe. Made it myself, matter of fact. Tell me what you think."

Jack accepted a tray and ate noisily, the only way she knew how. I tore the meat apart with my fingers and ate it that way. Half the fun was in licking them off afterwards.

"Listen..." she said hesitantly once we were done. "I needed to wipe that place off the map. It's done now, thanks to you. I guess I owe you."

She lay flat out on her bunk, staring at the ceiling.

"You don't know what it's like, to have shit like that following you around," she said quietly. "It marks you in ways you don't expect or understand."

"I've seen a lot of death myself," I said. "Maybe I was never tortured or drugged or abused, but still there are some things in my past I'm not proud of. Everyone has baggage. But all of it can be put aside. Maybe you don't forget, but it ceases to matter as much."

"You know, I never thought anyone would understand," she said. "Huh. Shows what I know."

"I never thought I'd see you show mercy, but you let Aresh live."

"He was stuck in the past, reliving it every day. You showed me how that could have been me," she said firmly. "I'm better than him, I'm better than that. I'm not carrying around that crater with me a second longer."

"Feel like you've changed?"

"I...yeah. Somehow."

I sat down on the bunk beside her. I could sense the way she automatically grew wary, like an drilled instinct to fight or flee. But she didn't back away. She was actively trying to quell her fears. After a long while, I placed a hand on her arm. She trembled at the touch, but did not pull away. I held it there for a long moment.

"Your past doesn't define you. You use it, draw strength from it, but never let it control who you are."

"Shepard, I'm not good at this but...ah hell. Thanks. Even if I don't get why you'd go to all the trouble."

"You heard me," I said. "You're part of my crew."

We sat there for a long while, saying nothing, but feeling as though some great chapter had finally been closed.


	6. Jack and Jack Kennedy

**Chapter 6 – Jack and Jack Kennedy**

**The Normandy Mk II**

**Uncharted Space**

"Commander, XO Lawson is asking for our next destination."

"Fuck off EDI," I mumbled. I was lying on my bed, clutching a certain framed photograph.

"Profanity is not an acceptable response to her query, sir," said EDI, almost reproachfully. "We have been idle ever since the mission undertaken at the human colony of Horizon."

"EDI, here are my orders."

"Standing by sir."

"One you will forget all about the mission on Horizon."

"I'm sorry sir, I'm afraid that won't be possible without a full manual memory wipe - "

"Two you will never mention the mission on Horizon to me ever again."

"Again sir I believe this may be counter productive, but I will comply."

"Three you will not mention the name of the Alliance marine whom I encountered on Horizon. You will forget about that person. That is an order."

"There was only one such individual that fits that description sir, are you referring to Systems Alliance Operations Chief Will - "

"Yes," I growled. "Now obey my orders."

"Yes sir. The issue of XO Lawson's enquiry still stands, however."

"Tell her...tell her I'll tell her what to do soon. Just give me a bit more time, alright? Goddamnit," I said vaguely.

"Yes sir," EDI said, and disappeared.

What the hell was wrong with me? I was Staff Commander Shepard, the four billion credit man, first human Spectre, Hero of the Battle of the Citadel, the only one who seemed to be doing something to fight the Reapers. Human colonies were disappearing. Hundreds of thousands of lives were at stake. Hell, I'd just seen one abducted before my very eyes.

So why did it all seem so faint and far away compared to the emotions evoked from looking at that holo?

I thought back to an earlier time. It was some time after Saren had shot himself in the head, and the _Normandy _Mark 1 had shot down Sovereign and saved the galaxy. We were bigger than heroes, bigger than the biggest celebrities. We had film stars and music stars and politicians eating out of our hands. Everyone wanted a piece of us. Those days burned so brightly, so fierce. I thought they would last forever.

**Flux, Citadel Presidium**

**One week after Mission Codename: Suicide**

"Oh, by the Goddess! You guys are...you're the..."

I had promised a night out, and we were having the time of our lives. Before we left the ship I asked Tali to hack into Ambassador Udina's personal files, and as a result he would be very generously paying our bill for the night's festivities. Judging by the way Wrex was putting away shots of fabulously expensive krogan ryncol, he'd not only end up bankrupt, but several thousand credits in the red.

A group of asari dressed in fabulous gowns of varying shades of blue that left little to the imagination had crept up to our booth, their eyes wide with excitement. I glanced at the one who had spoken. I couldn't be sure, but I think she was the supporting star in a movie that had made a billion credits a few months back.

"Crew of the _Normandy_ miss, yes indeed. Commander Shepard at your service," I said in an exaggerated formal manner. The asari all let out squeals of surprising volume.

"I knew it! You're the Hero of the Citadel! Goddess, when you saved the Destiny Ascension, that was so brave! My sister was serving aboard, you totally saved her life."

"Well I can't take all the credit, my pilot Joker here actually led the fleet into battle - "

"That's right ladies!" cut in Joker, looking delighted. "Now, if you'd like to hear all about how I fired the actual shot that brought down Sovereign..."

But the asari were ignoring him, and Joker fell back in his seat, pouting in annoyance. Garrus chuckled.

"It's no use Joker, everyone only has eyes for the Commander."

"Can I have an autoprint? And maybe a holo?" they asked hopefully.

"Sure," I said, scribbling my name and posing for the holo. The asari crowded all around me. I didn't like to brag, but several of them looked as though this was the happiest moment of their lives.

"That reminds me of when I was their age," mused Dr. Chakwas.

"You mean...a hundred and thirty?" asked Liara, puzzled.

"Oh no, my dear. I clean forgot. No, I couldn't have been older than nineteen at the time. I remember camping for three straight days to see Hotblack Desiato and Disaster Area. I had obtained the layout of the entire building and its compound, so I knew exactly where the band would be leaving from once they were done. When they emerged, I pushed my way past security and pleaded for a holo. He was so gracious, that Hotblack. Still got it around somewhere."

"You saw Disaster Area play live? Awesome!" said Joker. Over at my end of the booth, I smiled, shook hands, and waved them goodbye. I could see them giggling to themselves and looking over their shoulders at me. Was it so wrong to enjoy fame and public adulation this much?

One of the asari had lingered behind, the one who had first noticed me. "You know Commander...I have a private luxury suite near the Presidium. We can be there in ten minutes. Maybe you could tell me how you got those sexy scars of yours," she said sultrily.

I laughed and put down my drink. "I don't think that would be a very good idea, miss."

"Oh? And why not? You do know who I am, don't you? Adri T'minnyu, star of the Nova Rose? I'm sure your asari friend here must know me, at least."

"I'm afraid not," remarked Liara. "I hardly ever watch vids."

"The reason for that miss," I continued, "Is because my girlfriend is sitting right here...and she brought her gun with her."

Ash had been sitting silent all this while by my side, drinking her beer as if nothing was going on. Right on cue she unholstered her pistol and aimed it straight at the asari movie star without even looking.

"Leave now, you prissy skank," she said. "Or I put a bullet in you."

"You can't talk to me like that, I'm Adri! The Adri!"

"Security!" called Ash. A second later a volus had came up to our booth.

"Chief Williams, how may I be of service?"

"Ah, Doran. Please get rid of this girl, would you? She's bothering us."

"Not me she wasn't," mumbled Joker, but Doran had already called over two of his bouncers.

"I'm sorry miss, you'll have to leave."

"I don't believe this! I'll tell everyone I know about this, Williams!" raged Adri as she was being led away.

"Go ahead," said Ash. "The less people who hit on 'the Hero of the Citadel', the better."

I held her hand and grinned. "Was it really necessary to be so harsh on that poor young starstruck girl? I mean, it's me after all. I have that effect on women."

Garrus rolled his eyes, Tali giggled and Liara blushed. I smirked back at them.

"Yeah, couldn't you have gotten her number for me or something?" complained Joker.

"You've got a lot of nerve. I might not be so polite the next time," said Ash, draining the last of her beer.

I leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "You'll never have to worry, Ash. Promise."

She smiled and rubbed my arm. "Promise?"

"I keep my promises."

"More ryncol over here!" roared Wrex, slamming his mug down on the table, making the rest of our glasses jump. Tali sighed wistfully.

"I wish I could have a drink. You don't see that many quarians in bars and clubs."

"Don't worry, I'll take back a crate of hanar liqueur just for you, distilled especially for turians and quarians. You did give Doran Udina's credit details, didn't you?"

"Of course. He won't know a thing."

"Ten crates then!" I proclaimed, and the group broke up laughing. I sat back and gave Ashley a meaningful look. She understood me at once.

"Hey guys, we're gonna get some fresh air. See you later. Buy more drinks. I want Udina to cry like a little girl when he sees the bill," I said, standing up.

"Yeah, I'm coming too," said Ash.

Joker looked like he was about to say something smart, but he quailed beneath my glare. I took Ash's hand and led her outside onto a nice, quiet balcony overlooking the Presidium. I had booked the whole of Flux for the crew of the _Normandy, _although VVIPs were allowed to party with us at Doran's discretion. I thought I saw a drunk Pressly challenging an elcor to an arm wrestling match. Before I could see him get squashed Ash stroked my cheek and I found myself getting lost in her warm brown eyes once more.

"Hey handsome."

"Hello darlin'."

"Wanted some private time?"

"You know it," I whispered, leaning close and kissing her neck right on that sensitive spot above her collarbone that she liked so much. Ash moaned softly, caressing my head and waist. I nuzzled her neck again, harder this time. Ash wasn't the type of girl who used scented lotions and bath oils - she was a soldier first and foremost, and all soldiers usually smelled like sweat. But I loved it. There was something familiar and down-to-earth about it, much like Ash herself.

"John..."

"Yeah?" I mumbled, against her neck. It felt so good to be standing there with Ash in my arms after achieving one of the most spectacular victories in galactic history. It felt like everything I had said and done up to now had been worth it. Enduring the nightmarish station on Noveria, trying to save those poor colonists on Feros, wading through armies of Geth and taking down a Reaper...few soldiers get to enjoy the fruits of their labours. We tend to count ourselves lucky if we were still walking and talking and in one piece. But tonight was better. My crew and I were the heroes of the galaxy, and I had Ash. It was enough.

"Do you love me?"

I pulled away and looked into her eyes again, although they now held just the faintest touch of...was it fear? No, it couldn't be fear. Ash had seen a hell of a lot as we'd fought our way across the galaxy, she'd hardly be scared now.

But what if she was? Chief Ashley Williams, heroine of the Battle of the Citadel and the only woman I'd ever seen who could kill a krogan with the butt of her gun, feeling a hint of trepidation about our relationship? I knew she was more than just an amazing body and a killer shot. Deep down she was sensitive, thoughtful and fiercely loyal, with good taste in literature. I wondered how many people had managed to know the real Ash.

Any other guy would look at her and think total GI Jane, marine bitch who can toss a drink as well as any man and could probably kick your ass afterwards. She was that, a little, but it wasn't all there was to her. Ash had closed the other side of herself for so long, spurred on by old shame to shut out all other distractions in favour of devotion to her job. Were there heavier chains that bind than those of family? Hell, take a look at me. Dad a marine, Mom a Navy XO, and I had to go one better and graduate from N7, not to mention the whole Spectre thing.

I had discovered the real Ash, the intelligent, articulate woman who believed strongly in duty and loyalty. And if that was an incidental reward for saving the galaxy, it was the one I'll treasure the most.

I noticed an air of expectation and realised she was waiting for an answer. I held both her hands in mine, trying to find the right words to express all my feelings.

"Yeah. Yeah, I do. You're more than just one night, more than just a fling to me. I care about you so much Ash. You're this utterly amazing person that I want to get to know better. And probably the only person in the galaxy who could kick my ass."

Ash punched me lightly on the arm. "Don't joke. This means a lot to me, you know?" But she was smiling slightly. I cupped her cheek and brought her lips to mine for a long, deep kiss. When we finally broke apart I was the one smiling.

"I love you Ash. I'm _in _love with you. Now and always," I stated with quiet conviction.

Tears started to well up in her eyes and she blinked them away furiously. "John, remember what I said to you that night, before Ilos?"

"You said you had something to tell me, but I had to wait. I had to use a millennia-old mass relay, fight a rogue Spectre and his army of robot slaves, and blow up Space Cthulu before hearing it from you." I took a step back and spread my arms. "Walk in the park. Now say it, soldier."

She hesitated at first, then her words came out in a rush. "I'm in love with you too, John. I...I don't know what to do, what to think. I'm scared, thrilled, nervous but exhilarated, all at the same time. We're both soldiers. Any of us could die at any time. But it's like...I don't care, you know? The galaxy can throw whatever it wants at us. We'll find some way to beat it. Because I've got you, and you will always have me. No matter what."

"_Semper Fi, _marine?"

"_Semper Fi, _sir."

We kissed again, and again, lost in the light and laughter and love.

"Ash?"

"Hmm?" she said, her eyes dreamy.

"You know I don't like to be called John."

Ashley laughed. "Sorry, Skip."

**Shift**

When I'd assumed command of the _Normandy _SR-2 one of the first things I'd done was ask EDI to tap into old Alliance records and come up with a holo, any holo of Ash. EDI had managed to obtain an old identification photograph from when she was stationed on Eden Prime. It was enough. I had it framed and put it on my desk, and I looked at it every day.

Now I locked it away in some drawer, and wandered over to the elevator. I couldn't stay in my room forever. I needed to think, to plan, to lead. The Collectors were coming, they were threatening the Terminus Systems and vulnerable human colonies.

To hell with it. I needed a drink. Or two. I headed for Kasumi's lounge, steadfastly ignoring everyone who looked up as I passed by. For a once Kasumi wasn't inside, and I could be left alone in blessed silence. I sat down at the bar and nursed a beer. It was a Miller Lite hailing all the way from Earth, a rarity this far out in the Terminus Systems. I briefly wondered how Kasumi had acquired it, then got down to the task of getting drunk.

Several hours later the door of the Port Observation deck slid open and someone stepped into the room. I was facing away from the door, so I couldn't see who it was. Although I could hazard a guess from the faint smell of lavender perfume in the air.

"Shepard, this is highly irregular! Where have you been all this while?"

I didn't turn around. "Hello Miranda," I said politely. She didn't take the hint and continued talking to my back.

"We've been adrift for days!"

"So upgrade the Normandy's armaments. Garrus's Thanix cannon will come in handy."

"That was completed several days ago."

"So make the pod bay larger. Thane's got some schematics."

"Can't be done until we reach a decent trade world. Shepard, what is _wrong _with you?"

I savoured the last mouthful of the beer, letting it slide down my throat. It was still cold. You couldn't get a genuine Earth-brewed beer for love and money in the Terminus, and I was regretting having to finish this one. It reminded me of my days back in the N7, where our sergeant would toss us a few bottles after each successful mission. It also brought back to mind memories of me and Ash...relaxing in my arms in a beautifully designed asari jacuzzi...drinking and talking and laughing and making love. I pushed the bottle away, the taste suddenly turning bitter in my mouth.

"Everything's fine Miranda," I said, not rising to take the bait. She clearly wanted to force a confrontation, and I wasn't in the mood for a fight.

"Is this about what happened on Horizon? For God's sake Shepard, you can't abandon the mission just because of what happened!"

"I haven't abandoned the mission," I said. "I'll get back to it. After a while."

"Tell me when Shepard," said Miranda. She tried changing tack. "Thousands of humans might die while you sort out your emotional entanglements. Remember why we're doing this. To save lives. Are you going to let them die?"

"Don't give me that bullshit," I said calmly. "You're just worried because the Illusive Man's riding your ass hard. He wants to know the reason for the delay. He's worried his four billion credits are sitting around doing absolutely nothing. You tell him to go screw himself."

Miranda inhaled sharply, then let out her breath in a sigh of utter frustration. "I'll say this once more. I need a destination, and a plan. If you won't give them to me, I'm taking over this mission."

"Good luck," I said, reaching for another bottle. It glowed a faint luminescent pink, and promised to be a hell of an experience. "You might intimidate the Cerberus guys and gals, but the real specialists don't answer to you. Hell, some of them want to kill you."

"After all you've seen and done - you, of all people - you lose your fire because of this? Because of some woman?"

"You've never had a boyfriend, had you Miranda?" I inquired.

"That is none of your business!"

"Maybe the reason for that is because you're an insufferable, demanding, antagonistic bitch," I continued, twisting off the top of the bottle and pouring it into a martini glass. I took a tentative sip and smacked my lips. Simply terrible. Shrugging, I downed the whole thing in a single gulp.

"Go to hell Shepard," hissed Miranda, storming out of the lounge. I know the doors were on pressure controlled gauges, but I was still expecting to hear a door slam.

**Shift**

I had made a game out of lining up the empty bottles in a perfectly straight line along the bar counter. It was difficult, because every so often I'd drop one, it would smash and I'd have to drink another one to replace it.

The door slid open, and Kelly came in. I knew it was Kelly because only she would be cheerful enough to whistle a tune on board ship.

"Hello sir. Mind if I join you?"

"It's a free country...planet...empty void...ship, whatever," I replied morosely. I had smashed three more bottles and it was going to be a chore to replace them.

Kelly sat on the stool next to me and turned around to face me. I didn't do the same, instead staring at my next bottle. It appeared to be some kind of hideous vodka distilled from Elcor plants. Where the hell did Kasumi get all this from?

"Sir...we really need a strong hand at the moment. The crew's all unsure about what to do next. They want to fight the Collectors, but you're not letting them."

She placed a hand on my arm. Her fingers were warm and smooth to the touch.

"Please sir, we need you. If it helps, you can tell me what's on your mind and I'll try to help you."

"Kelly," I said, still looking at the bottle of vodka. "I know you're spying on me."

She withdrew her hand immediately. "I...that's - that's ridiculous! I'm just your Yeoman, trying to do my job."

"Your job's to tell the Illusive Man if I'm mentally strong enough to take on the Collectors," I said, opening the vodka bottle. "You seem like a nice enough girl, and I appreciate your help in taking care of my ornamental fish. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy flirting with you. But you're not going to get close to me. Not as long as you're part of Cerberus."

"You've got it all wrong sir, I'm not faking this. I really want to help!"

"You're sweet, Kelly," I said. "You really are. You're also an excellent counsellor and P.A. But the best you can do for me right now is to leave me alone. I don't need some shrink telling me what to feel. Thank you, Yeoman Chambers. Dismissed."

Kelly sat still for a while, then got up and made to leave. Before she did so, I heard her say something in a low voice.

"I thought you were better than this, Commander. Snap out of it." Then she was gone, and I resumed trying to kill my liver. Since the Illusive Man kindly gave me a new one, I had a lot of catching up to do.

**Shift**

It was several hours later. Jacob, Garrus, Mordin and Kasumi had all stopped by to talk. Even Grunt. I dealt with them all in the same way. Without looking at them and calmly telling them to go away. They got the message eventually.

Why was this hitting me so hard? I've had break ups before, but never as bad as this. I'd seen and done terrible things, buried my own father, left one of the finest and most decent men I'd ever known to die on Virmire. Yet I was feeling worse than I've ever remembered being. Maybe I wasn't the hero and legend people were expecting me to be. Maybe I was a fraud.

**Horizon**

**One week ago**

"They're running, they've had enough!" roared Zaeed, blasting a few more shots into the air at the general direction of the Collector ship. It had blasted off after being rocked with a few shots from the GARDIAN defenses. "Run you bug-eyed bastards, run!"

I sat down on the grass and took off my helmet, relishing the feel of the wind on my sweaty face. I took a few deep breaths, and allowed myself a smile. "Anyone got hit?"

"No casualties and no major injuries Shepard," reported Miranda.

"Speak for yourself," said Garrus, putting away his sniper rifle. "I got smacked into a crate by Jack's biotics."

"Toughen up, turian," rumbled Grunt. "The little human flung a husk at another husk and blasted those scions off their feet. Worthy of a warlord's favour!"

"My name is Jack, you overgrown lizard," said Jack, but she wasn't being malicious. For some reason she got on really well with the big krogan. Perhaps it had to do with their mutual love of violence. "And quit being a pussy, Garrus. I hardly scratched you."

"That was a hell of ride Commander," said Jacob. "The Collectors may have taken many of the colonists, but they didn't get all of them."

"They've gotten enough. There's no reason for them to stay," replied Miranda.

"Battle's won, but not the war," I said, suddenly grim. "Okay, take five people, then let's see what we can do about those poor bastards still frozen in stasis."

"No! You let them get away! They took Sten and Duncan and...and Lilith! Do something!" screamed someone. It was the pathetic mechanic who we had run into earlier. He'd cowered behind a locked door while the Collectors made off with his friends and neighbours. I was less than inclined to be charitable.

"I fought and killed some of the nastiest sons of bitches this side of Citadel space," I said. "While you were fifty feet away trying not to shit your pants."

"I'm a mechanic! What was I supposed to do, let myself get killed?"

"You should have fought and died for your kin," said Grunt. The mechanic quickly backed away from the terrifying krogan. "You ran and hid, and that makes you more worthless than the dead."

The mechanic was not about to argue with Grunt, but he could continue to harangue me. He took a step towards me and opened his mouth.

"Want me to ventilate him for you, Shepard?" drawled Zaeed, raising his gun.

The mechanic stopped short as though he had been struck. "Shepard...hey wait, I know you. You're some kind of big Alliance hero."

"Don't do me any favours," I said, glaring at the weasel.

"Captain of the Normandy. The first human Spectre. Savior of the Citadel. You stand in the presence of a god, Delan," came a voice behind the cowardly mechanic. He spun around in fright, then scowled when he saw who it was.

"The Collectors take everyone...take Lilith, and they leave you behind. Figures. Screw this, the Alliance can go to hell," he muttered, walking away.

I couldn't speak, couldn't say a word. I knew that voice the instant I heard it. I thought about it every day, heard it in my dreams at night. It was a voice that sounded equally good reading a few lines from Yeats or Neruda or Whitman, bellowing a battle cry before charging a massed horde of geth, or calling my name over and over in those long hours making love together in my cabin. It was a voice I thought I'd never hear again.

Ashley Williams was standing before me, wearing a Phoenix armour with an assault rifle at her hip. She had changed little in two years, and looked exactly as how I remembered her. Same olive skin, same warm brown eyes, her hair done up in a neat bun like she used to do on board the first _Normandy. _I quickly stood up, not believing it. I'd been flying all over the galaxy scrambling to stay ahead of the Collectors, but I'd never forgotten about trying to find Ash. And here she was, as if I had never left.

"John...I thought you were dead. We all did," she said softly. She stepped up to me and I drew her in a tight embrace. It seemed so familiar, so right. Ash in my arms once again.

Something clamoured for attention in the back of my head. Ash had called me 'John'. She never did that. She pushed me away and gave me a look of mingled yearning, anger and suspicion. The sense that something was wrong grew stronger.

"Ash," I said, trying to pick my words with care. I couldn't exactly break down and start crying in front of Jack and Miranda and the others. "You don't sound too happy to see me. Is something wrong?"

"Yeah, something's bothering me," she said in a low, intense voice. "I spent the past two years thinking you were dead! We had something John. Something real. I...I loved you."

She choked out the last words. I knew the rest of the team were hanging on to everything that we said. The silence was defeaning, I could hear every breath of wind and rustle of grass on Horizon.

Ash shook her head. "I thought you were dead. I almost...how could you put me through that? How _could _you?"

I wanted to say something, but for the life of me I couldn't think what. Ash went on.

"Why didn't you contact me?" she asked, her voice trembling. "Why didn't you let me know you were alive? Why didn't you care?"

"I wasn't even conscious!" I cried. "I spent the last two years in some kind of...of coma, while Cerberus stitched me back together! I've been combing the whole galaxy looking for you, no one would tell me where you were!"

Ash took a step back, noticing for the first time my companions. She took in the familiar logo on Miranda and Jacob's uniforms, put it all together.

"You're with Cerberus now? Garrus, you too?"

"They saved my life," said Garrus simply.

"I don't believe this," whispered Ash. She looked at me with eyes full of hurt. "I didn't want to believe the reports were right."

"Reports? You mean you already knew?" said Garrus in surprise.

"Alliance intel said that Cerberus was behind the missing colonies. We got a tip that Horizon was the next to be hit. I went to Anderson, but he wouldn't talk. There were rumours you weren't dead...that you were working for the enemy."

"I'm not working for them!" I protested. "Cerberus and I happen to want the same thing. I want to stop the Collectors and save the human colonies. That doesn't mean I answer to them!"

"Do you really believe that?" shot back Ash. "Or is that just what Cerberus wants you to think? I wanted so much to believe that you were alive. I just never expected anything like this."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jacob and Miranda exchange meaningful glances, Garrus looking away tactfully, Jack and Grunt with inscrutable expressions, and Zaeed wasn't even bothering to pay attention. He had sat down some distance away and was cleaning his rifle.

"How could you turn your back on all of us?" went on Ash, with real venom in her voice. I've heard it there before, it just never occurred to me that it could ever be directed at myself. "You betrayed the Alliance...Anderson. You betrayed your parents' legacies. You betrayed _me_."

"Ash, you know me," I said, struggling to keep the desperation out of my voice. "I'd die before betraying the Alliance, you know how much it means to my family and me. And you...I loved you, Ash. I'd never do anything to hurt you."

"Tell it to the colonists on Feros. Tell it to Admiral Kahoku and Corporal Toombs. Tell it to those poor bastards who died on Akuze," said Ash. Miranda wanted to say something, but she was silenced by a look from Jacob.

"This is bigger than just Cerberus. People are dying, Ash, and both the Alliance and the Council aren't lifting a finger to help. You saw it yourself, the Collectors are targeting human colonies. And they're doing it with the help of the Reapers."

"I'd like to believe you John," said Ash. "But I don't trust Cerberus, and it worries me that you do. I know you...I thought I knew you. You'd never have worked for them in any way. What if they're doing this? What if they're working with the Collectors and behind the attacks?"

"Typical Alliance attitude," sniffed Miranda. "You're so blinded by your irrational hate of Cerberus you're completely ignoring the real threat."

Ash glared at her. Miranda held her gaze, cold as ice.

"Cerberus may be evil, but as it stands I have no choice," I said. "The fact is they're the only ones doing something about the Collector threat. I thought you'd understand that."

"Or maybe you feel like you owed Cerberus because they saved you," retorted Ash. "Maybe it's you."

"Yeah, about four billion credits," mumbled Jacob under his breath.

"Doesn't matter," said Ash, with a note of finality in her voice. "I'm an Alliance soldier. It's in my blood."

"I'm still Alliance," I said, though not really believing it any more.

"Could have fooled me," said Ash. "I know where my loyalties lie. I'm reporting back to the Citadel. I'll let them decide if they believe their story."

"Please Ash," I said, taking her hand. "Come with me. I need to stop the Collectors, don't you see? If I don't work with Cerberus people will die. I need you on my team, like in the old days. I _need_ you."

_Don't make me beg, because I will, _I added silently to myself.

But she shook my hand off, and I knew it was a lost cause.

"No, you don't," she said. "I'm no fan of aliens, but Cerberus has a history of being extremist. They'd kill them all if they could. I'll never work for a group like that."

She turned to walk away. "Goodbye John. Just...try to be careful."

I stood in the same spot for several minutes after she'd left, not saying anything. I could feel the eyes of my team on me.

Zaeed walked up. "Has the slag scarpered? Finally. Are we going back to the ship or what?" he said loudly.

I tapped my headset communicator and yelled at Joker, even though I knew he could hear me perfectly well. "Helmsman! Send a shuttle to pick us up. I've had enough of this fucking colony."

**Shift**

Why did the volus even bother distilling gin? The stuff tasted like engine oil and antifreeze. I gacked it down anyway, and nearly threw up. Even with my new body and cybernetic upgrades and gene modification which could process toxins extremely efficiently, at least according to what Dr. Chakwas said, I was nearing my limits.

I had swallowed every single bottle of alcohol Kasumi had squirrelled away on board. She was going to be pissed. I stood up, and swayed slightly on my feet. The door was inches away, but I somehow couldn't make myself go over to it.

It suddenly sprang open, and someone came into the room. I was vaguely surprised when that someone hit me so hard I flew backwards and crashed into the couch. In my intoxicated state though, I barely felt a thing.

"Shepard, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

I knew that voice...from somewhere. I couldn't quite recall who, at the moment, but I was sure it would come back to me.

The person grabbed the cuff of my shirt and jerked me upwards into a sitting position. "Hello? Anyone home? Wake up, you jackass!"

My bloodshot eyes focused wearily on something. Bald head. Huh. That could only be one person.

"Fuck, you smell like shit!"

"Hey Jack," I mumbled. "Want a drink?"

"I'd drink you under the table, you fucking dick," she said, trying to pull me up further. Apparently I was too heavy, so she glowed blue and I was suddenly suspended in mid-air. Jack looked at the mountain of broken glass piled up in the corner. "Holy shit. You drank all that and you're still alive?"

"I think so," I said. I was beginning to feel nauseous from floating around. "Can I throw up now?"

"Hell no! I'm not going to let you - argh!" shouted Jack, leaping back. I'd flipped around in mid-air and promptly puked my guts out. Jack then let me drop to the floor right in the middle of it.

"What the hell?" I yelled in shock. I was covered in my own puke, and that hadn't happened since my academy days.

"Finally, some emotion," said Jack.

"You jerk," I groaned, struggling to get to my feet.

"It's your own damn fault," she said, her voice hard. "I thought you were above this, Shepard. You're cut up over some girl? What the fuck?"

"You don't know anything," I said, pushing past her and heading for the showers.

"Yeah right," said Jack, hot on my heels. "Do you really think you're the first idiot to ever have problems?"

I stumbled into the male bathroom and took off my shirt. After a moment's hesitation, I thought the hell with it, and stripped off my pants as well. I knew Jack was standing right there, but somehow through the fog of alcohol that didn't seem relevant at the moment. I really needed to get clean.

"Jack, the women's restroom is on the starboard side of the ship," chimed in EDI. Jack ignored her. I couldn't be sure, but I thought I saw her eyes widen when I removed my clothes. The water turned on and I sighed in pleasure. Damn, it felt good. Jack was still standing there however.

"Uh, a little privacy?"

Jack laughed. "Yeah, like I'm gonna see something I've never seen before. I'll stay here and watch."

"Fine, do whatever," I said, shrugging. For a while the only sound was of the water hitting my body and swirling down the drain.

"I saw that, back on Horizon," said Jack eventually. "So, that was your girl huh?"

"Emphasis on the 'was'."

"Get over yourself Shepard."

"You don't know anything about this," I said again. Jack hit the wall with her fist, making me jump.

"Say that again and I rip your head off. You think you're the only one? After I broke out of Teltin, I fell in with a couple of thieves. They let me share their ship...even share their bed. I thought they cared about me. Then one time after I brought down an entire volus merchant cruiser for them, they took all the loot and left me behind. There's no such thing as 'love'. All you have are people who are frightened, and who get horny. They're scared of the universe, so when they find someone who makes them horny, they cling on to that person. I thought you'd be more like that, Shepard."

I'd finished my shower and wrapped a towel around my waist. "Yeah well, maybe I'm human. Ever thought about that?"

"What are you saying, you asshole?" growled Jack.

"You shouldn't be giving me relationship advice," I said, going to the elevator and punching in the button for my cabin. "Who was the last person you didn't try to horribly murder?"

"He's standing right in front of me," hissed Jack through gritted teeth. "Although that could change. Where are you going? Hey, I'm not done talking to you!"

"I'm looking for some clothes, you psycho! In case you didn't notice, I'm wearing nothing but a towel!" I yelled, then realised that everyone on the crew deck had heard me.

"_What _did you call me?" shouted Jack, about to hit me with a biotic blast. But I saw it coming, she dropped into a pretty recognisable stance before using her abilities. Before she could do anything, I grabbed her by the wrists and pinned her to the wall. We stared into each other's eyes, breathing heavily.

"Okay look," I said at last. "I'm sorry."

"Fuck you."

"I don't care. I'm sorry for what I said. And I'm sorry for the way I've been acting. I know I've been ignoring the mission."

"I don't give a fuck about the mission, Shepard," said Jack, her voice a tad lower. "I was...I was just wondering where you went. You stopped bringing me food."

I let go of her arms, feeling ashamed. After Horizon I'd shut myself up in my room and forgotten all about Jack's aversion to the mess deck. It couldn't have been easy for her to come up and get meals for herself, or even to shake me out of my funk like she was doing now.

"God, I...I'm sorry Jack. I really am."

"You said that already," said Jack harshly. "Are you going to sit around whining like a pussy? Or are you going to get out there and kick some ass?"

"Yeah, I am. Soon as I get some clothes."

I'd noticed for the first time that the towel I was wearing had slid to the floor, and I was still standing inches away from Jack. I bolted into the open elevator and punched the button.

**Shift**

"EDI!" I yelled, when I'd put on a fresh set of clothes.

"Yes sir?"

"Contact Joker, tell him we're going to Haestrom. Didn't one of the dossiers report that the quarian engineer known as Tali'Zorah vas Neema was there?"

"Yes sir. At once sir."

"Thank you EDI. Oh and um...contact Miranda. Tell her I want to speak to her."

"Very well sir. May I say, it's good to have you back."

I looked up in surprise, that had sounded uncharacteristically human coming from EDI. When she didn't reply I shrugged and headed towards Miranda's office.

"Hey, Miss Lawson," I said. She didn't reply or look up, and continued to type away at her console. I rubbed my head, wondering what was the best thing to say.

"I set a course for Joker," I said. "We're going to Haestrom to pick up Tali. Her technical skills would be extremely useful."

"I concur," said Miranda shortly.

"Look, Miranda..." I began.

"I need you to leave now, Shepard."

"I'm...I apologise. I'm really sorry for what I said to you. I was drunk and I didn't mean it."

Her fingers slowed for a moment and her mouth softened a little. She looked up at me. "Apology accepted."

"Thank you," I said. "I'm just going to...take care of some stuff."

**Shift**

"What the hell am I eating?" demanded Jack.

"Gardner didn't have a lot left," I said, chewing on a carrot. "I grabbed what I could."

"No kidding," she remarked, holding up a crab claw and looking at it at length. "What the hell is this supposed to be? It looks like a bug."

"That's a crab," I said. "Seafood back on earth. Love it, actually."

"You can have it," said Jack, tossing it to me. I cracked it and sucked out the meat. It was soft and sweet, unlike Jack.

"You know...I've been on your goddamn ship all this time and I don't even know your name. Weird huh?"

"Oh yeah. It's - "

"John. Yeah, I heard the bitch say it."

I let the remark pass. "Actually, no one ever calls me that."

Jack looked confused. "So are you named John or not?"

"My dad was a big fan of American history. It's a country back on Earth," I added quickly, noticing her confusion deepen. "He named me after one of its Presidents. My full name's John Kennedy Shepard."

"So why doesn't anybody call you John?"

"Because that President was better known by his nickname. So whenever people found out, they'd start calling me by it. Eventually I got used to it. Actually...people call me Jack."

Jack broke up laughing, genuine laughter this time. I couldn't believe it.

"Wait wait wait. So...you're called Jack? What the hell, man. That's my name. Can't have it."

"I suppose you can call me John, to avoid confusion," I said. "But I'm not really used to it."

"Alright then...Jack," said Jack, still laughing.

"Jack," I acknowledged, with mock seriousness.

We smiled at each other. I got the sense that somehow, the ice had well and truly been broken.


	7. Fallout

**Chapter Seven - Fallout**

**Haestrom**

**Dholen system**

"Hello? Hello, is anyone there? Please, someone answer me!" called a forlorn voice from the ancient communicator. I recognised it at once. It sounded just the same as I remembered it from a couple of years ago, but I knew the person whom it belonged to had changed immensely since that, as we all had. Tali'Zorah nar Rayya was a prominent figure among the quarians now, and had been entrusted with this top secret mission in the heart of geth territory. No one else in the verse was as skilled at taking down geth than the members of my old team, but Tali was doing more than just blowing them up. According to the Illusive Man's dossier, the quarians were gathering data on why Haestrom's sun was collapsing prematurely, along with a lot of other scientific and technical details. I didn't really care, I just wanted to see Tali again.

Tali was a great friend and ally, and because of her young age I always thought of her as the little sister I never had. It was a great pleasure for me to help her complete her Pilgrimage by giving her valuable data on the geth, something I was sure few other quarians would have managed to find unassisted. Little did I know that I had set momentous events in motion. Tali's success had gotten quarian society talking about a possible effort to retake their home planet of Rannoch. That was still some years off, but it no longer seemed the impossibility it once was.

I walked over to the communicator and punched the button. A holographic image of Tali formed in mid-air. She looked just like how I remembered, although that was mostly due to the suit she wore. It had a few new patterns that spiralled and looped over the surface, but it was still in the familiar shade of indigo that she liked.

"Hey Tali, Shepard here. Everyone here is dead. Any survivors must have fallen back."

"Shepard?" she asked, sounding as though she didn't quite believe me. "What are you doing here?"

"I was on a supply run for milk and cookies, wandered into this neighbourhood and thought you might need a hand," I said flippantly.

"Thanks for coming," she said, heartfelt. "It means a lot to hear your voice."

"Tali, listen. I'm sorry about your team. I would have saved them if I could."

"Waste of bloody time, the useless mongs," muttered Zaeed behind me. I hoped Tali didn't hear that.

"We knew this mission was dangerous when we were briefed," she sighed. "Let's hope no one else has to die. Kal'Reegar and the rest of the marines got me into the observatory. I've got the data I need, but there's a lot of geth outside."

"Is anyone with you, or are you alone out there?" I said urgently.

"Kal had a team of marines covering me when I first came in. There was a firefight for a while, but now I can't hear any shots being fired. I don't want to think about what that means."

"It means they're dead, loser," said Jack. "Everybody's dead, Dave."

I shot her a burning look that clearly meant _Shut up. _Furious, Jack started to say something, but she backed down after looking into my eyes. I let the team make all the sarcastic comments they wanted most of the time, but I wasn't about to let Tali get hurt.

"I'm coming to get you," I continued. "Just help me get this door open, it seems to be jammed shut. Can you do it from your end?" Kasumi had been trying to hack the door open for some time now, with no success.

"Let me see...there, that should do it." The door slid open, letting some of that deadly Haestrom sunlight into the room.

"Thanks Tali. We'll be there asap."

"Please, if any of them are still alive, do what you can to help. Especially Kal'Reegar," she said, before terminating the communication.

"Move out," I ordered the team. Despite myself, I started to idly speculate on her words. It sounded like she was a bit sweet on this Kal'Reegar, whom I had talked to over the radio. I resolved to save him if I could.

The windows opened, and I found myself staring at the hulking form of a geth colossus in the distance. It was facing away from us, but even as I watched it turned and began to target us.

"Oh god, a colossus!" yelled Kasumi in sheer terror. I couldn't blame her. They were the strongest, toughest weapons a geth army could bring to bear. I had blown up a couple in my time, but only with vehicle mounted heavy weapons. Never on foot.

"Get down!" I roared, and everyone did so. Just in time to avoid the flaming blue ball of plasma that the colossus hurled in our general direction, sending everything that wasn't nailed down flying.

"Move move move! Now!"

We scampered out of the room and down a ramp, taking cover behind a low barricade. A large quarian in bright orange armor was already there, taking potshots at the geth with a handheld missile launcher. He fired off a couple, and turned to talk to me.

"Squad leader Kal'Reegar, of the Migrant Fleet Marines! We talked on the radio before the geth arrived."

"Commander Shepard. Good to meet you."

More shots were fired overhead and we hunkered down as best we could. Kal motioned to a door on the far end of the field.

"Tali's in there, but the geth killed the rest of my squad. Best I could do in the meantime was to draw their attention. They're trying to get to her, and I can't let that happen! Without Tali this whole mission would be pointless!"

"Don't worry, I'll do all I can. How many geth are out there?"

"Looks like a full platoon, Commander," observed Garrus. "Including that colossus."

"And we wouldn't want to forget about that," quipped Kasumi.

"The damn thing's got a repair protocol," explained Kal'Reegar. "Just sits down and huddles up and fixes itself if it takes any damage. I tried to get closer to finish it off, but one of the bastards punched a hole in my suit!"

Another massive boom as the colossus fired again, and we were showered in dust and bits of shrapnel. Jack was swearing fluently, with Zaeed doing the same.

"How bad is your suit damage?" I knew that quarians needed their suits to survive, and I hoped Kal'Reegar wasn't about to be put out of commission just yet.

"Combat seals clamped down and I'm swimming in antibiotics. I'm not gonna die in a firefight because of an infection, that's just insulting!"

"Good," I said levelly. "What about the battlefield, what can you tell me about it?"

Kal'Reegar took a moment to consider. "Right side's got a catwalk with a sniper perch. You could wreak some havoc from there, but none of my men made it past the geth."

"Sounds good to me Commander," said Garrus, adjusting the sights on his sniper rifle.

"Not yet, I want the full picture."

"The middle's got cover," went on Kal, "But the damn colossus has a clear shot at you the whole time, and you have geth coming at you from both sides!"

"What about the left?"

"Gives you some cover from the colossus, but your ass is hanging out for the geth. That's how I got shot."

"Any idea how we're going to take down that colossus?" asked Garrus, squeezing off a shot.

"Standard protocol when facing an armature class is to sabotage its shields, and wear it down little by little. Death by a thousand cuts."

"But this bastard's got that repair protocol. Won't work this time," said Zaeed.

"Whatever we do has to scrap it completely, and fast," said Kal'Reegar. "Maximum firepower."

"I had a feeling this might come in handy," I said, holstering my assault rifle and reaching for the awesome, beautiful weapon that Mordin had put together with Jacob's help not too long ago.

"Oh wow," breathed Kasumi.

"Hell yeah! I want to see it go boom!" laughed Jack.

"Now you're talking, Commander," said Garrus with a smirk.

"Those poor sods won't stand a chance," said Zaeed.

The M290-Cain, dubbed the 'Nuke Launcher' by the Normandy's crew. Cutting edge, top of the line weaponry. As far as I knew, no one else in the verse had access to a baby like it. The Cain didn't actually fire off a Hiroshima class nuke, but rather explosive rounds applied to a 25g slug. When accelerated to a speed of 5km per second, 'devastating' was an understatement when describing its effects. I don't know how it was done, but the thing purportedly even generated the classic mushroom cloud upon impact. That crazy bastard Mordin always loved mixing art with science, and I wanted to experience it first hand.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please stand back," I said dramatically, slinging the Cain and taking aim. "Ol' McCain takes some time getting up to speed."

"Why does he always call it McCain?" wondered Kasumi.

"No idea."

"What the hell is that thing?" asked Kal'Reegar. He had backed away some distance from me, apparently taking my warning to heart.

"Utter destruction in one sweet package." I scanned the area for the colossus. Kal'Reegar's missiles had apparently damaged its shields, and it was taking a while to repair itself. I grinned. This was going to be fun.

"Oi, assholes! Say hello to my little friend!" I yelled, and fired.

The Cain's high pitched whine grew louder and faster, red light spiralling around the barrel while it charged up. Then suddenly the shot was fired, arcing towards the colossus faster than the eye could track.

There was a moment of perfect silence, the stillness of anticipation. And then...

_BOOM_

The promised mushroom cloud of smoke billowed into the air. The entire field was bathed in an eerie orange glow. The explosion was far louder than anything I had ever heard before, and I had been in plenty of battles. Around me everyone exclaimed in shock and fright and excitement, Kal'Reegar the loudest of all.

We waited for a few moments for the fallout to do its work. The Cain's destructive effects included radiation, and I had warned everyone to ensure their shields were up and fully operational. I kept expecting the geth to start firing like all hell, but all was quiet. I poked my head over the barricade, hardly daring to believe.

"Son of a bitch," I swore. The Cain had well and truly done its job. While there was an entire platoon of geth plus one massive colossus armature scattered all over the field a moment ago, there wasn't a single synthetic left standing. Every last one of them had been blown to bits.

The guys whooped and cheered. I gave the Cain a kiss and carefully strapped it to my back once more. I felt much the same as when I was carrying around that nuke back on Pragia.

"Seems like you have quite the thing for huge guns, Shep," teased Kasumi. "Compensating for something?"

"Bite your tongue," I said easily, standing up and starting to walk. "I just love things that are both beautiful and dangerous."

I glanced at Jack as I said it, smiling. To my surprise a look of shock and distaste touched her eyes and she moved ahead, lips set in a firm line. Disappointed, I carried on.

We entered the observatory and there Tali was, working on a console. She turned around when she heard us approach and rushed towards me.

"Shepard! I'm so glad you're alive. This whole mission has been a disaster!"

I wrapped Tali up in a brief hug, and let go.

"Are you all right?"

"Yes, I'm fine. But a lot of people died here today. Some of them were my friends."

"Was it really worth it?"

"The Admiralty Board believed this data was worth all our lives. I have to believe that they were right."

"I don't care what some admiral said, Tali. I want to know what you think."

"That damn data better be worth it. The price was too high."

_A feeling I know all too well, _I said silently. "What did you find out anyway?"

"Haestrom's star is destabilizing. Back when this was a quarian colony, it was a normal star. It shouldn't be changing so fast."

"Any idea what's causing this?" asked Garrus.

"The effect is similar to when a sun blows off mass when it enters its red-giant phase. If I had to guess, I'd say it's dark energy affecting the star. But it's still weird, there's no possible way the sun could be going red so fast."

"Whatever it was, I'm glad we could help," I said. "Once you deliver that data, I could use you on the Normandy once more. The verse needs saving once again."

"I promised to see this mission through," said Tali. "I did. Once I get this data transmitted, I'll join you Shepard. And if the Admirals have a problem with that, they can go to hell. I just watched my team die."

Kal'Reegar staggered into the room, right on cue. "Maybe not your whole team, ma'am."

"Wasn't he right behind us?" wondered Zaeed.

"No idea."

"Reegar! You made it!" cried Tali joyfully.

"Your old captain's as good as you said," remarked Kal'Reegar. "Damn colossus never stood a chance."

"Reegar, I'm leaving with Shepard," said Tali. "I've finished this mission and got the data the Board wanted."

Kal'Reegar nodded. "I'll pass the data to the Admirals, let them know what happened. She's all yours now Shepard. Take care of her."

"Don't worry mate."

**The Normandy Mk II**

**In orbit around Haestrom**

"Cerberus saw footage of you in action against Sovereign, Tali'Zorah," said Jacob admiringly. "I'm looking forward to having you on the team. Your engineering expertise will really benefit the mission."

Tali looked at him. Her helmet didn't reveal emotion, but I knew her well and it was clear she was eyeing Jacob with some suspicion and distaste.

"I don't know who you are, but Cerberus threatened the security of the Migrant Fleet. Don't make nice."

Jacob looked discomfited. Tali tended to be a little more outspoken than most quarians.

"I wasn't part of what happened on board the Migrant Fleet," he said carefully. "But I understand your distrust. I hope we'll get past that as we work together."

Tali ignored him and turned to me. "I assumed you were working undercover, Shepard. Maybe even planning to blow Cerberus up. If that's the case, I'll loan you a grenade. Otherwise, I'm here because of you. Not for them."

I smiled. Tali was loyal as always. "Check out the Normandy while you're here. We've made a few upgrades."

"I'll give you full security clearance and access to the Normandy's engines," said Jacob.

"Please do," said Tali, sounding mollified. "I can't be part of your team if I don't know how your ship works."

She prepared to leave the briefing room, but not before a few last words for me. "Remember Shepard, these people thought enslaving rachni and thorian creepers was a good idea. I'd trust them only as long as they're in shotgun range. I'll be in engineering."

Whoa. Guess I was wrong about her being appeased.

"Before you go, don't forget to introduce yourself to EDI, the ship's AI," called Jacob.

Tali looked back at him, not saying a word. I suppressed a smirk. Of all the people in the verse who had issues with synthetics, the quarians probably had the worst of them.

"What I'd say?" wondered Jacob.

"Don't sweat it, big man. Tali will be crucial to the mission, I guarantee."

**Shift**

A month had passed. In addition to picking up Tali, I'd also cleared her of some worrying charges levelled at her by the Migrant Fleet. There were disturbing news that Tali's father was conducting warlike experiments on geth, but I kept the secret out of respect for her wishes.

We also had acquired the services of an asari justicar named Samara. Justicars were living legends, warriors who had dedicated their lives to the pursuit of truth and justice. In addition to her fighting and survival skills, Samara was also a fearsome biotic. She would be a great asset in our fight against the Collectors.

She wasn't the biotic I was worried about, however. Jack had become increasingly withdrawn and moody, even more so than usual. It had begun ever since Tali stepped on board, and grown even worse after I helped Miranda settle some personal business on Ilium. She wouldn't talk to me and even our meals were eaten in strained silence. Even Kelly was drawing a blank.

I was on my way to talk to Dr. Chakwas when Joker's voice came piping over the intercom system.

"Uh Commander? Jack just went into Miranda's office. I don't think she's in there to drink Earl Grey and eat muffins. Could you separate them before they tear out a bulkhead?"

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. "I'll deal with it."

"Take pictures!"

I hurried over to Miranda's office. It was a tidy little place, minimalist but with the tasteful (and expensive) decoration here and there. All of it was currently being torn apart by Jack.

"Touch me and I will smear the walls with you, bitch!" she screamed, hurling a chair at Miranda with her biotics. The Cerberus operative ducked just in time.

"Stand down!" I yelled, coming into the room. "Both of you!" Privately, some small part of me was enjoying the fantasy of a catfight between Miranda and Jack. Possibly with a little hot chocolate and less clothing. But logically I knew that if I let it go, the tension between the two might boil over into outright violence, and any hope we had of succeeding in our mission was gone. I needed Miranda, and I needed...Jack. Both of them were crucially important to the mission. Yeah, the mission.

"The cheerleader won't admit that what Cerberus did to me was wrong," snarled Jack, advancing on Miranda. Credit to her, she stood her ground.

"It wasn't Cerberus. Not really," she said, her voice icy. "But clearly you were a mistake."

"Fuck you!" screamed Jack. "You smug self-righteous bitch! You have no _idea _what they put me through. Maybe it's time I showed you!"

"Think of the mission!" I said firmly, putting myself between the pair of them. Funny, I had a dream exactly like this once. "Millions of lives are at stake. It's too important to let personal feelings get in the way!"

Jack gave me a derisive glance. "Fuck your feelings," she said coldly. "I just want her dead."

She'd never know how much it hurt me to hear that. After all I'd done, I thought I was making some progress. Shows what I knew.

"Goddamnit Jack, take a step back and realise what we're up against. I'm going to have to take down the creepiest bugeyed sons-of-bitches in the verse, and I can't do that if the two of you are at each other's throats. And Miranda, I thought you were more professional than this. What could you possibly hope to gain by needlessly antagonizing Jack?"

"Hey -"

"I never -"

"I don't give a damn!" I yelled again. Mama had always told me a soldier needed a good loud voice, and I was using mine now. "The two of you keep a deck apart at all times or I'll shove you out an airlock myself!"

"I can put aside my differences...until the mission is over," said Miranda, in a tone that was meant to be threatening. But Jack had been threatened by the best. She had been threatened by armies twenty times the number with fifty times the firepower and lived to tell the tale. She had been threatened by three YMIR mechs. Miranda wasn't going to win this. I prepared myself to take direct action if necessary.

But Jack didn't explode in a burst of furious blue rage, surprisingly enough. She merely drew her lips back over her teeth in a sneer.

"Sure," she said, jerking her head in my direction. "I'll do my part. I'll even keep this bitch alive. I'd sure hate to see her die before I get the chance to tear her apart myself," she said, in sweetly poisoned tones. Then she stormed out of the office.

I let out the breath I had been holding in a rush. "Jesus. Are you two going to be okay?"

Miranda went back to her desk and sat down. "It's a good thing you came by when you did. As long as she does her job, we'll be fine. Thanks Shepard."

"You know, just – just doing my job."

She gave me a quick smile. "I never got the chance to say thank you."

"For helping with Oriana?"

"Yes, that."

"You don't have to," I said, sitting down on the opposite side of the desk. "Just doing a favour."

Miranda reached out her hand and patted mine. "That's the funny thing. I never had someone just do me a favour before. Without any hope or expectation of a reward in return. The only one I trusted was Niket, and you saw how well that turned out. But you Shepard, you helped me simply because I asked for it. I'm grateful."

I matched her smile, and laid my other hand on top of hers. "You're welcome. It's what any friend would have done."

Miranda seemed to hesitate. She breathed in deep, and looked right into my eyes.

"Just a...friend?"

I looked back, not comprehending. Then suddenly realisation hit me like a meteor shower. Of all the bloody sodding hells...how could I have been so _blind?_

"Not – you know, something...more?" she said, with just a hint of tremor in her voice.

My mind was a whirlwind. I'd never even considered the possibly, never even dreamed...I hadn't the slightest, faintest idea that Miranda felt anything other than a sense of mild contempt about me. Everything she said and done certainly seemed to point to that conclusion, despite my half-hearted attempts at flirting. Well now with the benefit of hindsight, there were certain things that she'd said and done that I missed. The gradual way she softened her tone towards me, the willingness to follow my command instead of pushing for her own way all the time.

I needed more time! I couldn't make up my mind now. Even though things with Ash were probably dead and buried, there still was something that didn't feel quite right about starting on this path with Miranda. I tried to figure out what was it.

And then the answer came to me. I wouldn't have been so certain a few years or even months ago. But I had seen things. Done things. Literally been to hell and back. I knew every aspect of myself and my mind, and I knew why I was going to make my next decision.

Miranda, as self-proclaimed, was perfect. She was engineered, created, manipulated, born and bred to be perfect. This, as you might have guessed, gave her a complex and several esteem issues. Her accomplishments meant little to her because they were a natural expectation of being perfect. Her failures were magnified by comparison because she demanded nothing but perfection from herself. Kind of like me in a way. And of course, she had an amazingly beautiful face and a body women across the verse would murder for. She was also brilliant and resourceful and pragmatic. Not to brag, but we were very similar.

And that was why we couldn't be together. Miranda was attracted to me because I challenged her on every level in a way no one else had done before. She was too attached to my legend, the myth of the man I was and the things I'd done. She thought she'd found someone in whom perfection was achieved.

But I wasn't. Despite the gene mods and the training and the tech, deep down I was still human. I had flaws, deep ones. I carried guilt, suffered from regrets, was afflicted by weaknesses. If I ever got around to finding love, it would have to be someone who could understand this. Being with Miranda meant having to live up to my legend every second of every day. I couldn't do that. I didn't want to be Commander John Shepard, saviour of the verse all the time. There had to be times where I could just be myself, plain old Jack Kennedy the spacer kid. I had a feeling Miranda would never understand this. She would try, but her failure to do so would eventually drive us apart.

And I had absolutely no interest in enduring another failed relationship.

All this passed through my mind in a blink of an eye. Then I made my choice.

"I'm sorry Miranda."

She jerked her hand away and lowered her eyes. "I see," she said quietly.

Not knowing what else to do, I got up and prepared to leave.

"Just tell me...please tell me it's not because of her."

I stood at the doorway for what felt like a very long time. Then I left without saying a word.

**Shift**

"Hey Jack," I said, coming down the stairs.

"Jack," she replied curtly.

"Talk to me."

"Why?"

"Because you haven't been talking to me. Because you just picked a fight with Miranda. Because I thought I was getting somewhere with you and now I'm being stonewalled."

"I warned you soldier boy. There's nothing to me but ink and a whole lot of pent up rage. Maybe now you'll leave me the fuck alone."

"Don't do this to me Jack. I don't believe you. I believe there's a person under all that bullshit you present to the world."

"Why the hell would you care?"

"Because I do. I care about you."

There. I had said it. I never thought I would, but I had said it. Now everything hinged on what she was going to say.

Jack laughed mockingly and blasted a Cerberus file off her bunk with her biotics.

"Bullshit."

"No. You're wrong."

"_Bullshit."_

"_No!"_

"Look, I know what you're up to, alright? I know your game! I've got you all figured out," she yelled, getting in my face.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"All that shit about doing stuff for me because I'm one of your crew...it's all because of the mission. Because a mission can't function without crew members. I thought you helped me out at Pragia because you actually gave a fuck about me. Me as a person, not the weapon Cerberus wanted me to be. Then I see you helping that cheerleader bitch with her own personal shit. That quarian too. I get it now, alright? You do this for anyone who signs up, because that makes them effective team members. Not because of any other reason."

"Jack, that's not true," I said urgently, running my hands over my shaved scalp.

"Don't lie to me," she hissed.

"Listen to me. I am not lying."

"I'll get you through your mission. I'll kill the Collectors for you. I'll help you save the verse. Because that's what you want me for, right? You want the weapon. Not the girl."

"Jack, I care about you. I want to help you. I think I l- "

"Shut UP!" she raged suddenly. "And I don't need your help, from you or anyone else! Get the fuck out of my space before I kill you!"

There was nothing to do but turn around and leave.

"And don't bother coming down here unless you need me to kill something. That's all I am to you. Nothing more."

I tore up the steps two at a time, wondering if the disaster I had just made of my personal life could ever be surpassed.


	8. Dancing with the Devil in Pale Moonlight

**Chapter Eight – Dancing With the Devil in Pale Moonlight**

**Normandy Mk II**

My mind was a blissfully empty blank. No troubles, no worries, not a care in the verse. Just perfect stillness and silence.

I was sitting cross-legged on the floor of the Starboard Observation deck, my chin on my chest, my eyes half closed, just relaxing. Samara had taught me the art of meditation, helping to quell my fears and stress. There was a lot of it to go around.

After the horrific bust-up with Jack, I was walking a tightrope of emotion. Samara had sensed it even before Kelly did. She gently invited me to learn from her, and I accepted. The justicar was one of the most intimidating people I had ever met, and I was a little nervous about looking like a fool. I had interrupted her centuries-long journey to eliminate injustice throughout the verse for my mission, and that mission might be in jeopardy because I couldn't seem to stop screwing up in my personal life. But Samara understood, somehow. Having lived a thousand years might have helped. There was very little that could surprise her any more.

Samara didn't judge, didn't ask why. She just showed me how. I was a little skeptical at first, not really believing in sitting around and doing nothing. But then it was like some switch inside me that had been on for forever, never letting up or taking a break had finally been shut down for a little while. I welcomed the change. It felt good.

The doors glided open, and Samara walked into the room.

You could always tell whenever Samara entered any place. She had this aura about her, not the literal blue glow of her biotic abilities, but a certain regal presence that demanded attention and respect. People tended to lower their voices, watch their language and straighten their clothing. Part of it was because she reminded you of an aged grandaunt, with noble blood and titles and a stately manor in the country, getting on in years but with a mind still razor sharp and could probably run rings around yours without even trying. But the biggest reason was because of her profession.

Justicars didn't care about normal things like family or love or happiness or money. Their only concern was justice, enforcing it and punishing those who defied it everywhere they went. Even though she was always gracious and polite, every inch a queen in her manners and speech, the crew knew full well that under normal circumstances, Samara would have zero qualms about ripping them limb from limb before nailing their heads to the flaming wreck of the Normandy to serve as a warning to other evildoers. Naturally this tended to make them a little nervous.

Samara usually demonstrated complete control over herself. In battle as in everything else that she did, the one word that came to mind was grace. She displayed incredible precision born of countless years of practise. She seemed to know the exact bare minimum of effort it took to complete any task. As a result, her every action appeared effortless and calculated to the tenth decimal point.

This was a different Samara that came into the Starboard Observation Chamber. Her eyes, usually calm and cool, were wide with emotion. Her breathing was ragged. Her hands were restless. She was walking so fast she stumbled and nearly fell, something I had never seen her do before.

"Samara," I said, concerned. "Yeoman Chambers said you wanted to see me."

Samara turned her gaze upon me. "Commander. I realise this might not be the best of times, and I understand that the oath of fealty I swore entails that your mission takes priority. But I cannot remain silent on this matter. I have found my target."

I bolted to my feet. "Your daughter Morinth? The Ardat-Yakshi?"

"Yes. The very same. I have been looking for her for over four hundred years. Now I finally know where she is."

The fact that Samara was still on board the Normandy was a testament to the strength of her dedication to the asari code. If I had been looking for someone for four centuries, it wouldn't matter that I was on a ship, there'd be me-shaped hole in the hull right at this moment. Once again I marvelled at her commitment to her convictions. It also reminded me that Samara spoke the absolute truth, all the time, something which was harder than most people thought. She swore that she would accompany me to my mission's end, so here she was. If I failed to help her and she threatened to kill me once the mission was over, she would not be joking.

Fortunately it wouldn't have to come to that.

"You don't have to explain further. I'll make this my top priority. Where are we headed?"

Samara said a single word, and I knew it was going to be a hell of a task.

"Omega."

**The Afterlife Club**

**Omega**

"I hate this place."

"I hate it more than you do."

"I thought you liked clubs."

"I like good clubs. Nice drinks, cute clientele, maybe a little Earth music. Not where people will kill me for a credit."

"Shut up, the both of you. We're here on important business."

"Sorry."

"Sorry."

I heard a muffled giggle from Kasumi behind me and figured that Jacob had pulled a face or something. I didn't mind, anything to ease the tension. Ahead of all three of us was Samara, striding so quickly we had to jog a little to keep up. She had calmed down somewhat on the journey here but it was still plain to see she was still worried about the encounter ahead.

Omega, the proverbial hive of scum and villainy. And it was concentrated the most in the Afterlife Club. The Afterlife Club was where the movers and the shakers of Omega's 'economy' went to kick back and have a few drinks and enjoy a few dancers after long arduous days of piracy, murders, thefts and other sordid dealings. The Afterlife was the personal domain of Aria T'loak, the infamous self-proclaimed ruler of all Omega, and if she didn't know something that was happening on the asteroid, you could guarantee it wasn't worth knowing about.

"Bold declaration: Nobody is allowed entry without an invitation," said the elcor bouncer at the door, barring our way into the club. Like all elcor he was as huge and strong and implacable as a mountain, and living on Omega probably meant he wasn't a nice guy like most elcor usually are.

I stopped short and gave him a look. "Don't you recognise me?"

"Annoyed retort: No. Should I?"

"You're not the usual bouncer are you. Where's Bob?"

"Grudging clarification: Bob is off sick. I am filling in for him tonight."

"Tell you what pal. Let the security cam take a good look at my face, then I'll let them tell you who I am."

A few minutes later...

"Slow-dawning realisation full of horror: Oh dear."

"That's right."

"Hasty statement made to appease: I am so sorry sir. Please, you and your companions may step right in."

"Thank you very much."

"Insincere farewell: Welcome to the Afterlife, I hope you will visit again soon."

As we walked in, I heard some other guy complain loudly about being stuck in the queue. He was hammered into oblivion by the elcor bouncer.

"Cliched pun which may or may not be based on a holovid line, I can't really remember for sure: Take the rest of the night off."

We were led to Aria by her usual motley collection of goons, without the nonsense of frisking us for weapons this time. I was pretty sure everyone in the entire club was carrying a weapon of some kind, and I made it clear to them the last time if any one of them approached me with a scanner the only way to remove it from their bodies would be through invasive surgery or a very painful trip to the bathroom.

I had helped Aria secure her position as the number one criminal warlord on Omega by eliminating her competition, helped along by Garrus. She wasn't averse to giving me a piece of information from time to time. I hoped Samara would be able to recognise Aria's usefulness, it wouldn't do for the justicar to kill her for being a crime boss and me for helping her.

"Shepard. What can I do for you this time?" asked Aria lazily, from her usual position in Afterlife's prime box seat. If she noticed that Samara was a justicar, she wisely kept it to herself.

"I'm looking for someone," I began, sitting down myself. "An asari Ardat-Yakshi. My sources tell me she's here on Omega, and specifically within the Afterlife."

Aria raised an eyebrow. "I knew it. Nothing leaves a body quite so...empty like an Ardat-Yakshi does."

Samara stepped forward. "You haven't taken steps to kill her? Guard against her?"

"Why should I?" asked Aria with a shrug. "She hasn't tried to seduce _me._"

She leaned back. "Her last victim was a young human girl. Pretty thing. She lived in one of the tenements around here. That's where I'd start looking."

"Thanks for the help."

As always, Aria had to have the last word.

"Good luck finding her. Better luck catching her."

We found the tenement Aria was talking about after a bit of searching. It was a dark, shabby place not too far from the Afterlife. The sad thing was it was probably one of the better living quarters that could be found on Omega.

"Doesn't seem right, people having to live in places like this," muttered Jacob. I nodded agreement and buzzed the occupant on the inside.

"Hello ma'am, pleased don't be alarmed. My name is Commander Shepard, formerly of the Humanity Systems Alliance. I'm here to talk to you about your daughter's murder."

The reply came back, garbled a little by the cheap communicator. "Are you here about my Nef? She died a week ago and no one seems to care."

"I am indeed ma'am. Could we step inside for a moment?"

"Oh yes, certainly."

Kasumi winked at me. "Smooth, Shep. You really are Superman aren't you?"

"Who?"

"Some ancient classic, I'll tell you about it when we get back."

The door creaked open, and a middle-aged woman peered out at us. She seemed reassured by the presence of three humans along with Samara.

"Are you really here to help?" she said incredulously, as if not daring to hope.

"Yes ma'am."

"Rest assured we will do everything in our power to bring your daughter's murderer to justice," said Samara, softly but firmly.

The poor woman's attitude changed completely. It was clear she had been so wracked with grief for the past few days, losing her daughter without any friends or family around on Omega to help her get through it. There was no law on Omega, and there never had been. Who would care about a human kid from the slums?

"The medics said it was a brain hemorrhage, but I know better. This was murder. Someone killed my poor Nef." She glanced over Kasumi and looked at Samara with a mother's instinct.

"Do you have children? Don't you know how it feels when they've been taken away from you?"

Samara looked troubled. Nef's mother would never know how close to home her remark had hit. "Yes. I do," was all that she said.

"I'm so glad that someone believes me, I'm all alone now," she went on, mostly to herself. Then she appeared to fully take in Samara's appearance for the first time.

"Are you with Aria's people?" she asked fearfully.

"I'm here to help. Does it matter who directed me here?" I asked reasonably. She appeared to accept my logic.

"No one else on this hell hole gives a damn that my only daughter is dead. I'll tell you whatever I can."

"Did your daughter have a lot of friends?" I asked. She answered almost immediately, as if eager to talk about her.

"Not really. She was rather shy, you see. Spent most of her time making her sculptures, not hanging out with friends. Something did change in the past few weeks though. She met an asari. Morinth."

I could sense Samara tense up ever so slightly beside me at the mention of her daughter's name.

"I see," she said, glancing at me.

"What kind of person was this...Morinth?"

"I didn't like her. She was always dragging Nef to clubs after hours and I'm pretty sure she gave her drugs. We never met, but Nef talked about her as if she was a queen. You'd swear there was no one else alive when she talked about Morinth."

"That sounds familiar," murmured Samara.

"Samara, does Morinth control her victims with drugs?"

"She controls them through sheer will," she said quietly, but in a voice vibrating with anger. "She loves the lifestyle, the drugs, the music. She's an unabashed hedonist."

"Wait, are you saying this Morinth killed Nef?" asked the woman.

"We believe so. But I swear she will pay for what she's done."

"Oh my god, I should have done something. I shouldn't have let that Morinth get close to her, I should have paid more attention to what Nef was doing. This is all my fault," she sobbed, in tears. Kasumi moved closer and patted her arm sympathetically.

"Your daughter's death was tragic, but it wasn't your fault. The asari we're tracking is very dangerous, and is very subtle in her ways. She alone is responsible for what happened to Nef, not you."

"I hope so. I hope so. Oh, my poor baby," she said. "She kept going to that VIP section of the Afterlife. She always seemed so tired and distracted at home, as if she couldn't stop thinking about Morinth."

I could only think of one other thing to ask. "What kind of a girl was your daughter?"

She looked away. "My Nef had a fire inside of her. She was shy, but creative, and driven...and the best girl a mother could hope for," she said, the last few words choked by a sob.

"Ah yes. She was a sculptor, was she not?" asked Samara.

"Yes. Several galleries were interested in her work. Said it was fresh."

"Can we take a look around your daughter's room, ma'am?" I asked. "It might help us find some clues to lead us to Morinth."

"Everything's the way I left it. I didn't want to disturb her art, her sculptures, her clothes...she's gone, and she isn't coming back."

Kasumi squeezed her hand. "It's okay. It's okay. We've all suffered loss. My boss here will do everything he can to avenge your daughter."

"Thank you. I'm sorry. I just miss her so much."

"I too know what it means to lose a daughter," said Samara meaningfully. "We will be respectful while searching your daughter's room. Morinth will not escape again."

**Shift**

"Okay, so what do we know from the holojournal and other stuff?"

"Nef was a brilliant artist," said Kasumi. "I really like her sculptures! I almost wanted to swipe one, but then I felt horribly guilty."

"You'd steal from a grieving mother?" asked Jacob, shocked.

"Hey, I didn't in the end."

"That is how Morinth chooses her targets. She goes after unique people, individuals with amazing spirit or talent or skill. People with a spark, slightly isolated from her peers. She will use them, and then toss them away once they have outlived their usefulness. The hunt excites her as much as the conquest."

We were silent as Samara continued to speak.

"Her body promises unimaginable ecstasy. Her eyes promise you things that you were always afraid to ask of another. Her voice lingers in your ears long after she is gone. Storming her den directly would be a mistake, she must have a hundred escape routes planned. She will then go to ground and not resurface for another century!"

"We gotta lure her out then," said Jacob.

"Exactly! Jacob, you read my mind. Shepard has to go into the VIP section of the Afterlife alone and unarmed."

"Oh wow. Really?"

"It is necessary. Morinth is far too cagey. If we go in with guns and allies she will withdraw quickly. It is a subtle, delicate art. Trust me, Shepard."

"In case you haven't noticed Samara, Shep isn't actually good at subtle and delicate. Blowing up planets are more his thing," said Kasumi.

"That is why he needs to go in there. Shepard, you are an artist on the battlefield. You have the spark that attracts her and will lure her in. But it will have to be a solo effort. At the first sign of trouble that Morinth senses, she will flee."

"We're pulling lookout duty. Got it," said Jacob.

**Shift**

The four of us approached the backdoor of the VIP section. A turian was on guard, dressed in a bad suit. He straightened up at the sight of us.

"Hold up. This place is for VIPs only, for those with the right name. You want something?"

"Someone told me the rest of Omega's nothing compared to this place."

"Sounds like a smart person. Who was it?"

"He...she...it was...ah hell," I said. I couldn't remember the bloody name! Time for Plan B.

I slammed my forehead into the turian's. Despite the metallic facial plates which hurt like hell, I still put more than enough force into the blow to knock him out. I rubbed my head, then found myself facing Samara's cold glare.

"Look, I'm sorry. I'll get the rest of the job done. Don't worry."

"I can get the door open without them knowing," said Kasumi, working on the door's security system. Meanwhile Jacob was dragging the unconscious turian behind a pillar and restraining his arms and legs.

"When you are face to face with Morinth, subtly encourage her to visit her apartment. I will be following, discreetly. I suggest that Jacob and Kasumi return to the Normandy, lest Morinth should spot them."

"I'm pretty good at stealth -" began Kasumi, but quietened down when she saw the look on Samara's face. Four hundred years chasing the same target, it was small wonder she wanted to get this one perfect.

"Head back to the Normandy guys. Samara and I can handle this ourselves."

"Sure thing Commander," said Jacob. He helped me to get out of my armour, and into casual clothes. Then the two of them left.

"Ok how do I convince her to bring me home?"

"She admires strength and directness. Honesty, meekness and manners bore her. Violence lights her flame. Be aggressive."

"I could do that."

"Then we are done. Shepard, I do not share this burden easily. You are the only soul I could ever imagine sharing it with. Thank you."

"No problem. You're one of my crew."

**Shift**

I strode confidently into the club. This was going to be interesting. I'd done my fair share of partying over the years and looked for girls, but never someone as deadly as Morinth.

"Hey, do you know where I could get tickets for Expel 10? I heard this amazing asari say they were her favourite band! I want...I just want whatever she wants. I gotta have tickets?"

Asari huh? I stopped and looked at the clubgoer. He was human, around my age but with wild eyes. They looked like they haven't seen a wink of sleep.

"What kind of music do they play?"

"Huh? Well, they're pretty underground."

"How underground are they?"

"They're so underground their last album was released only on the extranet."

"As a music file?"

"No, as a word document. It's just ten minutes of silence."

"Huh. That's pretty underground."

"They are! So, do you have tickets?"

"Back off man, or I'll hurt you."

The poor man jumped in fright, and scuttled off. I made my way to the dance floor.

In a short span of time I'd punched out three turians who wanted to attack me, intimidated a krogan into backing down, convinced the bartender to buy a round of drinks for everyone, possibly saved an intrepid reporter from a gruesome end, and made the entire club gasp with my slick dance moves. I didn't see anyone who looked even remotely like an asari Ardat-Yakshi though.

Then suddenly my eyes were drawn to her. It was as if she could be seen only when she wanted to. She was leaning casually against a pillar, holding a drink in one hand.

"I've been watching you," she said. She had a smoky, sultry voice, and despite myself my pants started to get uncomfortably tight.

"You're the most interesting person in this place. My name is Morinth. I've got a private booth, away from the crowd. Why don't you come and sit with me?"

"Alright," I said, smiling and hoping like hell that I looked dangerous and cool and fierce and all that other jazz.

We went over to her booth and I tried to relax.

"Some nights I come here and there's no one worth talking to. Some nights there's just one person who gets my attention. Tonight it's you. Why is that?" she said. I discreetly checked her out. Morinth was wearing a skintight black outfit adorned with straps and other strange devices. She looked subtly different from other asari, having a leaner, sharper face and larger eyes. And of course like her mother, she did not have any distinctive facial markings whatsoever.

"I know what I like."

"Do you now?"

"What do you think of the music here?"

"Violent pulses, dark rhythms. It stirs something primitive in me. What about you?"

"I prefer this band called Expel 10? They're amazing."

"They get into my head and tear it to pieces! They're playing here soon, maybe we should go together."

"Maybe we should."

After that it was more of the same, with me feeding the lines and Morinth lapping them up. Perhaps she wasn't taken in by me, but if so she was doing a damn good job of acting.

"Do you want to get out of here? My apartment is nearby and I want you alone," she said, licking her lips. I smiled knowingly and we left together. From the shadows I could feel the eyes of a certain justicar watching us leave.

**Shift**

_Samara staggered onto the bridge of the Normandy. She was bleeding from a dozen wounds and her right arm hung limply by her side, twisted at an unnatural angle. She collapsed to the floor, and a dozen crewmembers rushed over to her side._

"_Morinth smashed my communicator," she mumbled through bloody lips. "Had to get back."_

_Miranda came up, her eyes wide, her face tight. "Samara. Where's the Commander?"_

"_Morinth has him. She's grown strong, so strong...we have to rescue him."_

_Miranda turned around and yelled at EDI. "What the hell are you waiting for? We have an emergency on our hands!"_

_Deep within the bowels of the ship, in a nest of metal and red light, a tattooed girl heard an alarm being sounded._


	9. The Illusion

**Chapter Nine – The Illusion**

**Foreword:**

Hey guys, sorry for not updating for the past five days. I've been away to Freshman Orientation Camp for my university. For my Singaporean readers, it was NTU's Wee Kim Wee Mass Comm school. So yeah, I was suffering from severe laptop withdrawal, and it's very very gratifying to see new reviews being placed in my absence, and more people signing up to put this little story on their watched list. I hope you like this chapter, it's partially based on a scene from K.A. Applegate's wonderful Animorphs books, where Tobias is being interrogated. Enjoy!

**Omega**

**Two hours ago**

"Nice place you've got here," I said, stepping into Morinth's apartment. Unlike most accomodations on Omega, it was lavishly decorated and furnished. It could have been a nice apartment from Earth or Ilium or even the Citadel. The presence of such luxury in the middle of the hell that was Omega was very disconcerting.

"Why thank you. Wherever I am, I always like to live with a little style."

I toyed with a few capsules of Hallex that Morinth had left on the coffee table. She looked surprised.

"You can have a Hallex if you want, but wouldn't you rather have all your senses clear and sharp right now? I certainly would," she purred.

I ignored her overt flirting and instead moved away from the couch. I began walking slowly around her apartment, commenting on the various ornaments and pieces of art that adorned the place. Morinth responded to my time-stalling tactics, expounding on her personal philosophy of individualism and giving in to her urges no matter the cost. Samara's warnings were all true. She was probably one of the most dangerous beings in the verse.

Where the hell was Samara? I had stalled all I could, and still there was no sign of her. Reluctantly I returned to the couch where Morinth was waiting.

I wanted to think that it was because Morinth could kill me in a blink of an eye, if her powers were anywhere comparable to that of her mother's. But the reality was that I was afraid of the effect that Morinth was having on me. Despite all of Samara's warnings, despite the fact that I knew she killed poor Nef without remorse, I was beginning to get more than a little hot under the collar. I was sweating, stuttering my words...hell, I even had a raging hard on the likes of which had not been seen since the awkward days of my adolescence. Morinth exuded sensuality with every breath, and I was reverting to a teenager, hardened military man though I was.

"I just love clubs," said Morinth, trailing a finger down my arm. "People. Movement. Heat. I can still hear the bass, like the drums of some great hunt out for your blood. But here it's muted. You're safe here, Shepard. Is that what you want?"

_Remember what Samara said. _"No. I'd rather fight than hide," I said, managing to sound somewhat confident.

"Yes, better to take control of your fate. I've never understood the obsession with safety. Some of us choose differently. Independence over submission. I think we share that, you and I."

Morinth had edged close to me while she was speaking, and now she placed a hand on my chest and forced me to lean backwards on the couch, straddling my lap. Oh _hell, _there was no way she couldn't feel the bulge in my pants.

"You compare us, but you're nowhere near my league," I said dismissively, although my groin was sending a very different message to my brain.

"So strong," she breathed. "I need this."

She placed her hands around my neck. "Look into my eyes and tell me that you want me. That you need me. That you would kill for me. Anything I want."

Her eyes had turned a solid black, her voice ringing with a strange sort of power, most likely a hidden mental suggestion that would render me powerless to resist her commands. I felt strangely detached, as if floating adrift on some abyssal sea. I wasn't really sure of anything at the moment, only that I wanted to do anything this irresistible asari wanted me to do.

I tried to resist, struggling with all my might. The fate of the human colonists were at stake, all those lives. Samara's mission, her quest to end the atrocities that her daughter had committed. But they all seemed faint and far away. My limbs grew slack, my mouth hung open. My eyes glazed over. I wasn't going to escape this.

In desperation I called up memories of the people I knew and loved, trying to draw enough strength to break free. My mom, who had done so much to make me who I am. My dad, whom I thought of every day. My buddies at the Academy, my brothers from N7, the crew of the first Normandy. Anderson, Pressley, Chakwas, Adams, Joker. Wrex and Garrus, Tali and Kaidan and Liara. Ash, my Ash. The girl I loved and lost. The moment I thought of her, I sank deeper into despair.

Names and places and times swirled around in my head. A pair of Cerberus agents. A mad salarian scientist. A couple of old friends, a baby krogan, a scarred merc, a Japanese thief, a millennia old justicar. The flash of light on Virmire, the devastation of Eden Prime, my last stand at Elysium. All fading.

"Give in to me," whispered Morinth in my ear. "You cannot resist, Shepard."

Then...something different. A young girl, covered in art. Her fury at a verse gone wrong. The pain she tried to bury under belligerence and profanity. I cared about her. I wanted to help her, protect her, help her regain the emotions she didn't allow herself to feel. The connection we shared.

"Jack," I gasped.

"What?"

"Our name...is Jack," I hissed through gritted teeth.

"But you, who are you? Oh no – I see what's going on. The bitch finally found herself a little helper."

With the last of my strength I pushed myself away from her and fell off the couch. I heard a door slam open, and the sound of footsteps.

"Morinth," said Samara, eyes locked on those of her daughter's. She glowed blue with biotic energy, and with a single gesture blasted Morinth off her feet and slammed her into the window. Amazingly, the glass held despite the tremendous impact. Morinth was pinned to it in mid-air like some dark butterfly trapped in a display case.

"Mother."

"Do not call me that!"

"I can't choose to stop being your daughter, mother!" spat Morinth, making the last word a curse. Samara slammed her into the window again, expending more energy.

"You made your choice long ago!"

"What choice?" yelled Morinth. She called forth her own biotics and pushed Samara back with a surge of energy. She landed on the floor and hurled an armchair at her mother, which barely missed the top of her head. "My only crime was being born with the gifts you gave to me!"

"Enough Morinth!" roared Samara. She focused harder, and sent a wave of blue energy crashing towards Morinth. But she was ready in turn, and repelled it with a shield of her own. The force of their biotic attacks created a swirling vortex, and everything that wasn't nailed down began to spin slowly around the room.

"I am the genetic destiny of the asari! I was born different, mother! Must I die just because they are not ready for who and what I am?"

"You are a disease to be purged, nothing more!"

They clashed again, and the shockwave was tremendous. The walls were shaking, and furniture was getting smashed to bits.

"Let me join you, I'm as strong as she is!" screamed Morinth to me.

"I am already sworn to help you Shepard! Let us finish this!" declared Samara.

I tried to pull myself up and go to Samara's aid, but my mind was still reeling from Morinth's earlier attack. With a snarl of frustration she sent a huge stone sculpture rocketing towards my head. I couldn't duck in time, and my head bore the full brunt of the impact.

Before I blacked out, the last thing I heard were the screams of an asari justicar.

**Omega**

**Now**

There was no sound save the dripping of water, and that immediately grabbed my attention. You could always hear the dull background roar of the pulse of life on Omega no matter where you went. The buzz of hover transports, the loud conversations of dozens of species and hundreds of languages, the occasional gunshot and anguished scream...they were as much a part of life on Omega as the smell and the criminals were.

I could hear very little, and see just about as well with almost no light piercing the darkness. I tried to move my hands and feet, and found out that I couldn't. My head was pounding with each heartbeat, and I could taste dried blood on my lips.

"You're awake."

It was that voice again, the voice that had promised so much. A hand roughly grabbed my chin and I find myself staring into her eyes, the only things I could see in the darkness.

"I should have known you were working with her. Commander Shepard, wasn't it? The saviour of the galaxy. You're exactly the kind of flag-saluting, baby-kissing idiot mother adores. I couldn't believe I ever wanted to have sex with you."

"The feeling is somewhat mutual."

Samara struck me on the head, right where that chair had hit me. I slumped to the floor almost senseless, not even having the energy to cry out.

"Mother might have found out where I was. But things didn't go according to plan, did they? Now Samara the justicar is dead, after a thousand years of self-righteousness."

"You're lying," I mumbled to the floor.

"Say that again and I'll kill you."

"If S'mara's really dead, you wouldn't be hiding. I'd be dead too. And you'd be offa this rock."

"The bitch managed to crawl away," Morinth admitted. "But I sure as hell made her bleed. And there is absolutely no way she can find this hidden space of mine. We'll lie low for a few days, make ourselves comfortable, get to know each other. Then you'll die and I'll be on my merry way once more."

"Do your worst. They'll come for me."

"Oh, do you really think so?"

"Yes. They will."

"Shepard, Shepard," Morinth mused, coming closer. I couldn't see her in the dark, but I could smell her scent and feel her skin. I tensed up, not liking the idea of what she was about to do to me.

"I stand by what I said – you are strong. Perhaps the strongest I've met. From what I've heard you are this absolute paragon of virtue, a genuine hero in these times of chaos. This couldn't be more perfect. I'm going to enjoy breaking you before killing you. Ruining your spirit, dampening the fire that drives you, corrupting your sense of purpose and making you beg for my body before you beg for your death. Your inglorious end will be fitting tribute for mother."

"Bring it on," I managed to gasp.

Morinth laid a hand on my cheek. "You must know how I hunt. An ardat-yakshi kills her prey after mating and moves on, tougher and stronger than before. But simple skin-to-skin contact is enough to establish a connection."

I tried to jerk my head away from her, but Morinth held firm.

"I will give you pleasure, Shepard. Pleasure beyond what your feeble mind is capable of even comprehending. Then pain. Tearing off your own arm will not compare with what you will endure. You will scream. You will scream until your throat is bruised and broken from the strain. Then finally, when you think you can take no more, I will mount you and take you and give you both pain and pleasure at once. Your mind, Shepard, will be obliterated long before your body stops clinging on to life."

I couldn't stop myself from trembling as Morinth tightened her grip and forced me to look at her.

"Let us descend into hell together. Who knows how far down the steps go?"

**The Normandy Mk II, Briefing Room**

**Now**

"_I had to give her a sedative," said Dr. Chakwas. Her arms and the front of her uniform were splattered with asari blood. "Her wounds are serious, but at least she's in a stable condition."_

"_That's no good," fumed Miranda. "We need to know where she left Shepard. Are you absolutely certain the two of you don't know where she went?"_

"_They wanted to get it done alone," explained Jacob. "The last thing I remembered was leaving the VIP section of Afterlife."_

"_What the hell possessed you to abandon basic doctrinal security?" asked Miranda heatedly. "We should have more than two combatants engage this Morinth, and certainly not risking the commander of the mission!"_

"_Hey, it's not his fault!" said Kasumi, coming to Jacob's defence. "You know how pushy Shep gets, he wanted to follow Samara's advice and go in solo."_

"_And now we have Samara wounded, Shepard prisoner, with no leads and no idea where to go next."_

"_We could always wait until Samara wakes up and ask her for directions," suggested Zaeed. "Don't mind if I do just that. Shepard's a big boy. He'll be sound."_

"_We're not going to just sit and wait while Shepard is in danger!" exclaimed Tali, her voice trembling. "We have to do something now!"_

"_Based on anecdotal evidence coupled with various biological data, ardat-yakshis are highly dangerous individuals. The Commander will not stand up to a direct assault as a result of her mind meld, no matter how genetically modified he is," confirmed Mordin._

"_Dr. Solus has made it clear. We must mount a rescue operation," declared Miranda. _

"_Who's gonna lead it? You?" sneered Zaeed. "I sure as hell ain't taking orders from you. Or prissy Mister Taylor over there."_

"_You want to run this ship?" raged Miranda._

"_Yes," retorted Zaeed simply._

"_Well – you can't," said Miranda. "We have no time for petty squabbles while Shepard's life is at stake!"_

"_I nominate Garrus Vakarian for squad commander," intoned Thane in his flat, dead voice. "I believe he will perform admirably."_

"_I'll do it if there are no objections," said Garrus, looking around the room._

"_You'll do it alright, but with one objection – mine," said Grunt. "I'll walk into battle with you, but don't expect me to watch your back."_

"_Fair enough."_

"_So where do we begin, Archangel?"_

"_Going back to Afterlife sounds logical. We lock down the place, ask everyone for information on where Shepard might have gone."_

"_What about Aria?"_

"_Yes, we'll have a few words with her too."_

"_Ok, sounds like a plan."_

_The team rushed out to get their battle gear. Everyone would be going, except for Mordin and Tali, who were assigned to guard the Normandy in their absence. No one noticed the slight form of a young girl lurking in the corridor outside the Briefing Room, nor her absence in the meeting._

_She walked into the elevator and rode it to the Bridge. She stalked its length, eyes straight ahead, ignoring the curious looks and outright stares. She slammed the airlock open and took a first step onto the soil of Omega._

_Coming here was like coming back home._

**Omega**

**Morinth's Lair**

"Jack. That was your name wasn't it? A common name among human males, I believe."

"John Kennedy Shepard, Staff Commander of the Humanity System Alliance Marine Corps."

"And this habitual giving of nicknames. I mean, what is the purpose? Your name is yours. You can't run away from it, much like you can't run away from who you are."

"John Kennedy Shepard, Staff Commander of the HSAMC."

"You're beginning to get on my nerves."

"You get my name and rank. I forgot my serial number. And nothing more."

"Still so defiant? I promise you, the fall will only be further and faster."

"John Kennedy Shep - "

"Enough! You're beginning to get boring. Let's see what kind of pleasures your feeble mind can come up with, hmm?"

Morinth touched her forehead to mine and I was thrust back into another world.

**Shift**

"Jack, where are you?"

I had wandered away from my parents and was staring at a giant mural adorning a wall of the spaceport. It towered over myself, and although I craned my neck back as far as I could, I only could see part of it. The colours, the strokes and the lines were all magnificent, coming together to create something that was true art.

"Jack?"

"I'm here daddy," I said, turning around and holding out my hands for a hug. My father wrapped me up and hoisted me into the air. I kicked and squealed, and he laughed, his big strong face creasing up in a mass of lines.

"Whatcha looking at?"

I pointed, and my father took a step back. He was a tall man, and carried me easily with one hand. Despite the crowds of people passing in front of us, we both had a good view.

"Do you know what that is?"

"No daddy."

"It's a mural. Lots and lots of famous people from Earth, painted on this wall. Each in a different style."

"It's huge!"

"That's cos we've got so many good people to choose from. Can you pick out a few?"

"There's Gandhi!" I knew him because of his bald head, big ears and smile. "And there's Lincoln, and Caesar, and Shaka Zulu, and Xin De Wang, and Maggie Thatcher, and Fidel Castro, and Jeanne Deschamps!" My mother took care of most of my conventional schooling, but it was my dad who taught me about history. Every night while he was at home he would tell me a story. It would never be a fictional story or fable, but rather an account of some great historical deed. I was always fascinated, and even at a young age I would be familiar with the stories of some of the greatest men and women in human history.

"Well done!"

"Thanks daddy."

"Do you know who that guy is?" he asked, and pointed.

I squinted. It was a caucasian man, with deep eyes and a big smile. I shook my head.

"That's JFK son. He's who you were named for. He chose to go to the moon. He started the space race. He made all of this possible."

"Cool!"

"Alan?" It was my mom, coming to find the both of us. I waved when I saw her.

"Hi mommy!"

"Hello darling. Did you run off again!"

"It's okay Hannah, I've got it under control," said my dad.

"I hope so. This is our first vacation together since God knows when, and our first ever to Earth. You'll be taking your first steps on the home planet real soon, Jack."

"That's so awesome! Can we go to a beach? And climb mountains and swim in lakes and cross deserts and camp in forests?"

"Well, not all at the same time."

My dad set me on the floor and gave my mom a kiss.

"I missed you. I missed us," he said.

"I know," she said, her fingers curled in his hair. "I've been so busy lately, assigned to so many details. There's even talk that they're going to make me a captain!"

"You'll be the best captain the HSA's ever had."

"Damn straight. But it means I'll have even less time to spend with you and Jack."

"We'll get through it. Together. But for now, a whole two months of utter relaxation. Decent food and art museums for me, trips to zoos and mountains and amusement parks for the boy, lounging around on beaches dressed in a string bikini for you - "

"Alan, stop it!" laughed my mom, swatting my dad lightly. Then they kissed again.

"I love you."

"I love you too. Let's go son. We've got a plane to catch!"

My mom took one hand, my dad took the other, and we were off to the home I had dreamed about for years and would be finally seeing for the first time.

**Shift**

I emerged back into the darkness, gasping and sweating. It had all been so real! For a few moments I was a kid again, wearing an oversized jacket and big shoes, with not a care in the verse.

"That was it?" asked Morinth. She sounded highly unimpressed. "Some pathetic family vacation is what you remember the most fondly? For the love of the goddess that was embarassing. I feel sorry for you."

"I know what you're trying to do. It won't work."

"Why do you keep defying me? You know you'll die like all the rest."

Something my dad said occurred to me. "Because I choose to do the things...that are hard."

"Well then," said Morinth, her voice feral. "This should be exactly what you ordered."

Our skin made contact once more and I screamed.

**Omega**

**Afterlife Club**

"_Bold challenge: You may not enter this place, human, if you lack an invi – ARGH!"_

_Very few people had ever seen an elcor hurtling through mid-air. The line of people waiting to get into the Afterlife turned their heads as one to see the elcor bouncer crash against a faraway wall and slump to the ground, apparently unconscious._

_Jack gave them one of her go-to-hell glares. "Anybody else want to fuck with me?"_

_Utter silence reigned. Even the vorcha were staring with their mouths wide open._

"_Good. I suggest if you don't want to die tonight, stay the hell away from this place."_

_Everyone fled as Jack ran up the steps to the entrance of the Afterlife and flung the doors wide open. She knew that even screaming her loudest wouldn't work, so she levitated a bar stool and sent it flying towards the huge cylindrical screen in the center of the room. It shattered upon contact, and people were screaming and diving for cover. _

_Jack always had an instinct for danger, and glancing up she saw a purple asari staring in horror at her. Then the security goons flooding into the room, trying to kill her as fast as possible._

_This was going to be fun._

_A short while later Jack advanced on a cowering Aria, the wreckage of her club all around her. She tried to charge up a biotic attack but Jack shrugged it off easily._

"_Jack! You're supposed to be dead! Or on Purgatory!"_

"_I got sprung. Favour from some Alliance asshole."_

"_Shepard? I knew it! I knew he'd be behind this!"_

"_Shut up," said Jack, and Aria did."Now I'm back to return the favour. I heard some other asari bitch took him. I want to know where."_

"_I don't know anything about that - "_

"_Wrong answer!"_

_Aria was suspended in mid-air, her arms and legs being pulled apart in opposite directions. The strain must have been tremendous._

"_She only comes to the VIP section," choked Aria. "Ask the guard on duty!"_

"_I'm supposed to believe you don't know where this asari is?"_

"_No!"_

"_Aria, look. I'll level with you, ok?" began Jack in a fake-cheery voice. It was far more frightening than her real one. "I've had a really lousy couple of days, and I'm not in the best of moods. You can either choose to help me, or choose to piss me off and make me kill you. You, right now, get to choose whether you live or die." Jack smiled sweetly. "Isn't that nice?"_

"_500 Nelaya Building!" screamed Aria. "I know she's from there, I just don't know which apartment! Please, that's all I know!"_

_Jack let her drop to the floor. "There, was that so hard? I'm going over to check it out. If I find you're lying to me, you don't want to be here when I get back."_

_Just then the door slid open again and Garrus and the others walked in._

"_Aria! We'd like a...huh?"_

_They took in the sights. Not a soul was conscious, not a bottle was unsmashed, not a piece of furniture was upright._

"_Holy _shit!_" yelled Zaeed. "What the hell happened here?"_

"_500 Nelaya Building," said Jack off-handedly, walking past them and out of Afterlife. "That's where Shepard is."_

_They stared at each other for a short moment, before hurrying to catch up._

**Omega**

**Morinth's Lair**

Gunshots. Explosions. The screams of both the wounded and the dying. Men, women and children. Civilians. People who should never have to see frontline combat. People who should never have to pick up a gun in their lives, be forced to take the life of another in exchange for your own. That was my job. This was supposed to be a rest from my job. So why was this all so horribly familiar?

This was Elysium, for the love of god. A peaceful colony world. Great beaches and hiking trails. I come down for one week on shore leave and the entire freaking Terminus systems invade.

"Oh god! I can't take it! I can't take this any longer!"

I glanced at the guy next to me. He had a paunch, thinning hair, wore a sweater. He was a teacher of some sort, on vacation just like me. He'd never handled a gun in his life.

"Bendis, calm down."

"I can't do it any more, I just can't!"

"Yes you can. Watch this."

I took careful aim out of the window and fired. A batarian slaver pitched backwards and died. I ducked under cover again.

"Yes, but you're a soldier! I'm nobody!"

"That's not true. You're a survivor. We're all survivors. And we're going to get through this."

The rest of the people in the room gave me glances of varying levels of weariness. The plush hotel lobby I had walked into a few days ago had turned into a room right out of boot camp. Guns lying around, ammo piled up, supplies strewn all over.

"Listen Bendis. We're not going to die, and do you know why?"

"N-no."

"It's because we are so very pretty. We are just too pretty for God to let us die. It'd be a damn shame."

Bendis chuckled nervously. I was relieved. Fighting from an indefensible position was bad enough, but having to do it while worrying about the safety of children and the resolve of civilians was gnawing away at me. We were all in the hotel when the attack hit, and had no weapons other than those of the local security team. We had been fighting for a full day and night, trying to survive.

"Look. We held off an entire army of batarians and other bastards with little BB guns and homemade explosives. Hordes of them are dead. We aren't. I have it on good authority the SSV Agincourt is kicking ass in the sky above us, blowing up ships left and right. We've done the impossible, and that makes us mighty. We can get through this."

"Shepard!" called a voice from my communicator. "They've breached the defenses, and they're pouring into the main compound! We need you here now!"

I holstered my handguns and got ready to leave. I was stopped by a hand on my shoulder. It was Bendis. He had a determined look in his eyes.

"You're going to need cover."

"I can get over there without getting shot. You stay here and defend this place."

"You can say whatever you want. I'm coming with you."

"Fine," I said. "Try to keep up."

We sneaked out of the lobby and into the grounds. Me and a bunch of other marines had managed to barricade the entire town, but it was proving to be a bloody difficult job patching up the holes. We didn't have nearly enough men.

We had reached the last stretch. "Should be clear." I was hurrying a little faster, now that the destination was in sight. We needed to plug the hole in the breach as fast as possible.

"Shepard!" yelled Bendis suddenly. I jerked sideways on instinct, and sensed a slug whizz by my head. Bendis dashed in front of me, firing wild.

"NO!" I roared, but it was too late. A few rounds blew out his chest and he crashed to the ground.

I saw his killers, a batarian and a turian. I put a bullet between the batarian's four eyes in the next second. The turian saw me coming, and squeezed off a shot. It hit me in the arm, and the pain was intense. Trying to ignore the pain I fired blind and by some miracle it hit him in the throat. I was safe for now.

I knelt down beside Bendis, but it was clear he had died immediately. I grabbed his weapon and said a quick prayer. Another death on my conscience. I ran as fast as I could to the breach, blood streaming all over me, hoping against hope the compound wouldn't be overrun before I arrived there.

**Shift**

"Ah now, that was interesting."

"Go to hell."

"Skyllian Blitz, wasn't it? Where you first made your name."

"Go to hell."

"I'm sure I will. But you'll be there long before me. We've had pleasure. We've had pain. Let's try for a little of both, shall we?"

**Omega**

**500 Nelaya Building**

"_Well, Shepard's not here," said Zaeed, looking around the ruined apartment. It was plain to see that a climactic battle had taken place._

"_Morinth's gone to ground just like Samara said she would. We're running out of time," said Jacob._

"_Do we have any kind of tracking devices or signature locator that we can use to find Shepard?" asked Garrus._

"_They've been taken offline," said Miranda._

"_That's it, he's dead," said Zaeed._

"_Say that again and _you're _dead," snarled Jack, raising an arm._

"_Not so fast, merc," growled Grunt. "I can track him."_

"_You can?"_

"_All krogan can hunt by scent, but I can do it better. I detect two asari trails, and one human. Shepard's trail is distinctive. I can find him."_

"_Then lead the way."_

**Omega**

**Morinth's Lair**

"Oh god, don't stop. Don't stop. Please," Ash moaned softly. Her long legs were wrapped tight around my hips, drawing me deeper in with each stroke. Her nails were raking long, deep grooves down my back. I was giving her long deep kisses, the kind that left you gasping for air. With each hard thrust I bent down and nipped the skin around the collarbone, making her groan with unabashed pleasure. Our bodies were slick with sweat, clothes lying abandoned and forgotten around the room.

I heard her exhale sharply, clench hard around me, let go for a little while and grip even tighter again. Her breathing became ragged, and she clawed at my back fiercely, shuddering with each wave that crashed through her body. Her eyes were half-closed, her mouth slightly open, her usually neat hair all in a mess. She was the most perfect thing I had ever seen.

My own desire grew more intense and I quickened the pace, switching from long, slow languorous strokes to harder, shorter, faster ones. I needed to release myself deep within this incredible woman, to make her mine as much as I was hers.

"Jack. I need you Jack. I need you," breathed Ash, gripping her thighs tighter and pumping her own hips to meet my urgent thrusts.

"Ash," I gasped. A deep shudder pulsed throughout my body, and it snapped tight in a single, final thrust. My mind was overwhelmed and I surrendered to the climax. I felt myself erupt, drawing out my release for what felt like forever. And then it was over.

I pulled out and we just lay on the bed, trying to get our breath back. Ash's head rested on my chest, her hand clasping mine. The sound of the surf and the birds calling from high in the air outside our room could be heard once again.

We were on Amaterasu to visit her family, Ash's mom and three sisters. They were very nice and made me feel welcome, even if the two younger girls were a little giggly. Then we took some time off to laze around on the nicest beach we could find. Saren was dead. Sovereign was scrap. It was time to recharge.

Ash rolled on top of me and looked into my eyes. "Hey handsome."

"Darlin'."

"What are you thinking about?"

"Amaterasu seems like a really nice place. We should come back more often."

"It was so great to see my folks. Hope you weren't too embarrassed," she said teasingly.

"Not at all. I never had any siblings, must be fun growing up with three kid sisters."

"You mean endless bickering, quarreling and fights? Yeah, real fun."

"Knock it off, you know what I mean. And your mom's nice. Reminds me of my mom."

"My mom reminds you of the great Hannah Shepard?" asked Ash, puzzled.

I shrugged. "It's just that, you know, they share pretty much the same values. My mom might be an Alliance officer, but to her family always came first."

Ash smiled. "That's true. I hope your mom likes me as much as mine likes you."

"Course she will."

"Even if I'm the granddaughter of the infamous General Williams?"

"Hey, she understands there was nothing else he could have done. And if she doesn't, I'll tell her otherwise."

Ash gave me a soft kiss. "Thanks Jack," she said softly. "I going to get us some more champagne."

She left the room, swaying her hips a little because she knew I was watching. I chuckled and leaned over the side of the bed, drawing out a little box I had hidden there the night before.

I had spent almost everything I had to buy what was inside. A beautiful, flawless little silver ring, topped with the most brilliant diamond I could find. Around the ring was engraved the words of Ash's favourite poem, by Robert Heinlein.

"Let the sweet fresh breezes heal me,

As they rove around the girth,

Of our lovely mother planet,

Of the cool green hills of Earth."

I had practised what I was going to say for a while. I thought about quoting something, maybe reciting something or singing. But it didn't feel right. I'd never been all that good with words. Something simple and straightforward would do for me.

"I love you, Ashley Madeline Williams. Will you marry me?" I said to myself. That sounded about right.

Ash came into the room and I quickly stowed the box under the bed again. She was looking worried.

"Something wrong Ash?"

"I just got a call from the front desk," she said. "Direct from Anderson. He needs us in the system of Amada. Something about a huge geth fleet being spotted there."

"Is he cutting short our vacation?"

"Afraid so."

"Goddamnit," I sighed.

"No rest for the wicked, Skip," said Ash, picking up her clothes from the floor. "There'll be plenty of time for us later."

_Guess I'll have to wait, _I thought, tucking away the little box.

**Shift**

"You get the rest of the crew onto the escape pods, I'll haul Joker's crippled ass out of here!"

The Normandy had been attacked by a mysterious, gargantuan alien ship, and was taking critical damage. I shoved Ash in the direction of the escape pods. She grabbed my arm.

"I'm not leaving you!"

"I'll be fine, but you have to go NOW! That is an order!"

"Aye aye, commander," said Ash at last, and hurried away. I fought my way up to the bridge, where the emergency shielding had failed and a gaping hole had been torn into the hull. Even with my zero G training it was still fiendishly hard to maneuver. I crawled over to where Joker was still frantically working the controls.

"Joker!"

"I can still save her!"

"You horrible little son of a bitch, belay that and get the fuck out of here!" I roared. If I wasn't in time Joker would die a painful death. He didn't even have a pressure suit on, just the backup auxiliary oxygen generator mass effect field around his head. I heaved Joker out of his seat and helped him get into a pod.

A sudden explosion from the ship rocked the both of us, and suddenly I was hurtling away from the wreck of the Normandy, away from Joker's outstretched hand and look of horror.

I writhed in the middle of space. My suit's pressure lock had failed and it was venting precious oxygen into the black. The pain was intense.

_Ash, _I thought dazedly, before the suit failed for good. _I never asked you to marry me._

**Omega**

**Morinth's Lair**

"NOOOOOOOO!" I screamed, jerking uncontrollably. "No, no, not again!"

Morinth licked my forehead, her tongue wet and rough on my skin. "So that's what you're afraid of? The great Commander Shepard, lovelorn and heartsick as any other poor victim of mine. Your death will be a mercy."

Morinth ripped the clothes off my body till I was shivering naked in front of her. She stripped as well, and straddled my lap, forcing herself on to me. I kicked and bit and struggled, but she pinned me down with amazing strength.

"Now Shepard," she said. "Now we will join, and your strength will make me the most powerful biotic ever."

A huge explosion suddenly rocked the room we were in, and a brilliant shaft of light pierced the darkness. I squinted, my eyes unused to light of such intensity after spending hours not being able to see anything.

"That title belongs to me, bitch!" yelled someone, and despite my exhaustion and terror, my head snapped upwards with renewed hope. I knew that voice. Jack leapt into the room and charged Morinth, her biotics bathing her in a cascade of azure.

But the Ardat-Yakshi was as strong and as cunning as her mother. Morinth dodged her attack and sent a bolt of energy of her own. It struck Jack a glancing blow, but it was enough to spin her sideways and knock her off her feet.

The rest of my friends poured in, but they were having difficulty maneuvering in such a tight space, and not daring to use their guns in case they hit me. Grunt's own charge was halted as he was suspended in mid-air, kicking feebly and roaring with impotent rage. Morinth telekinetically pulled the pin on every one of Zaeed's firebomb grenades, making the old merc go up in flames. Jacob and Mirana tried to move in and engage in close combat, but they were no match for Morinth's augmented strength.

Thane and Kasumi stepped in, working in tandem. He seemed to disappear from sight, while Kasumi's cloak shimmered and concealed her. They struck at Morinth several times, trying to wear her down. The fight went on for a long time, but Morinth connected with a lucky blow that took Kasumi out of commission. Thane tried to get in a position where he could deliver a killing attack, but Morinth's biotics overpowered his.

"So weak!" she laughed. "This is the best you can do, Shepard?"

"Not quite," said Jack, forcing herself to stand. She raised her arms again and was once more enveloped in a mass effect field.

They clashed again and again, Jack struggling with all her might. I saw blood dripping steadily from her nose, and understood she was reaching her limits.

"Jack, stop!" I croaked, trying to do something, anything. But I was still restrained.

"Give it up child. You know you can't win," laughed Morinth.

"Don't...have...to," grunted Jack, straining to withstand Morinth's attack. "Just hold you long enough."

A look of bewilderment crossed Morinth's face before I heard the sound of three sharp cracks. Then her head was blown off her shoulders.

The first two shots had blasted through her shields, the last one finding its target. All three were made within milliseconds of each other. Only one person could have done it.

"Thanks Garrus," I mouthed. I knew he would be able to see me through the scope.

Jack crawled over, and helped me break free of my restraints.

"Why?" I asked, close to the point of collapse.

"We'll talk later, Jack. Away from all of them."

"Just...tell me why."

Jack stared at me. "Because when Samara said you were gone, the first thing I wanted to do was to get you back. No doubts, no question. I thought I was happy about leaving you to die. Guess I wasn't."


	10. Domo Arigato

**Chapter 10 – Domo Arigato**

**Normandy Mk II**

I jerked awake, and gasped for breath.

"No, don't touch me! Don't touch me! Don't come close!"

"Jack? You're awake!"

Dr. Chakwas hurried over to my bed and tried to hold my hand but I snatched it away as though I had been burned. I struggled and strained against my restraints, trying to move away and escape to a place where I didn't have to remember the feel of Morinth's smooth skin or hear her voice in my head.

"Jack, calm down. Try to relax. You're back on board the Normandy. You're in my Med-Bay, and you're safe now."

Little by little, I relaxed and stopped struggling. It was a good thing that Dr. Chakwas had strapped me down, or else I would have leapt off the bed, started running and never stopped.

"Morinth!"

"She's dead. Garrus blew her head off. She can't touch you anymore."

I reached for Dr. Chakwas's hand and she held it firmly.

"Thank you. Thank you."

"Try to sleep, you need your rest."

"Mission. Collectors."

"They'll keep. We can't succeed if our commander isn't at his best. Just go to sleep."

"No sedatives."

"No, I won't give you any."

"Thank you. Samara?"

"She's fine, Jack. She made a full recovery."

"That's...good," I said. Then I went back to sleep.

I had several confusing dreams, flashes of reality and imagination twisting together until I could no longer tell which was which. I realised that whatever Morinth did to me, it would probably be permanent. She no longer existed, but some last echo of hers lingered on in my mind. Since all of her other victims were dead, I was the only one still keeping her alive.

I woke again, but less violently this time. Dr. Chakwas wasn't in the room. Samara wasn't either. Everything was quiet and still.

Well, not everything.

_I thought you were strong, but you are weak. Your mind is open to me, Shepard. I am in and I will never let go._

"Get out of my head!"

I lurched over to a sink and threw up. Then I splashed some water on my face and looked at myself in the mirror.

I looked as though I had aged twenty years. My eyes were sunken, hollow. My face was lined and haggard. My hands wouldn't stop shaking. I needed to get a grip on myself, to become Commander Shepard again. Or else countless people would suffer and die.

I left the Med Bay and headed to the direction of the Starboard Observation deck. I needed to talk to Samara, maybe get my head straight.

Samara had changed out of her crimson outfit, apparently it had been shredded during the fight with Morinth. She was wearing a sleek black suit with yellow trim, and she looked amazing in it. As always she was cross-legged on the floor, staring out at the great expanse of stars in the black.

"Commander Shepard. How are you faring?" asked Samara, without turning her head. I sat down beside her.

I said nothing for a little while, just staring into space. Then I began to speak slowly.

"Samara, is the connection of an Ardat-Yakshi really permanent? I still can hear her voice in my head, remember what it felt like when our minds melded. I keep getting flashes of memory that are not mine. I don't know...I don't know if I can live like this."

Samara looked shocked, then quickly composed herself. "I do not know. We have very little information on the capabilities of the Ardat-Yakshi, or their effects on a victim still alive. You might be the first."

"Oh great, looks like I get to spearhead a whole new branch of science."

"This is troubling. I am not sure if this will affect our mission."

"It won't," I said firmly.

"How can you be certain?"

"Because I won't let it happen. This mission is too important for me to fail. I have to get it done. Even if the ghost of someone dead laughs at me in my head now and then."

"Perhaps I could assist. Meditation might calm your mind and still your thoughts."

"I'll give it a try."

We did that for a little while. Then Samara spoke up, almost hesitantly.

"These memories you speak of...what exactly do you see?"

I considered.

"They're pretty vague. Nothing concrete. I guess I don't want them to be. I get feelings more than images, hints of blood, of pain, of ecstasy and despair. I don't want to be a witness to all the atrocities that Morinth committed."

"No, I suppose not," said Samara. She sounded a little sad.

"What were you hoping for?"

"I wasn't doing anything of the sort - "

"Come on Samara, we've shed blood together. I think we can be honest with each other."

"Morinth was always the most prominent of my daughters. The best and brightest. As a young maiden she was so brilliant. The things she said and did...I allowed myself to hope. To believe that the imperfection within me would spare her. No one was more devastated than I was when we found out she was one of _them._"

Samara looked down at her hands as she continued speaking.

"But Morinth had a completely different reaction. She was the only one who chose not to accept the solitude that was prescribed for someone like her. She wanted to explore the galaxy, to see its sights. There was so much she could have done. So much good.

"How could she have fallen so far, so fast? What made her so corrupt? Morinth, of all my daughters reminded me the most of myself. I believe I would have done the same in her case. But she went too far. She crossed the line. She indulged herself in desires that hurt and killed a great number of people. She made a mockery of my own quest for justice, perverting everything I stood for.

"At the end, I was compelled by my code to attack my own daughter, the one I felt the closest to. You and your crew spared me from making the killing blow, and for that I am grateful. But my daughter is dead, and this broken down old warrior's only memories of her are a ghost trapped within the recesses of your mind."

"Morinth made her own choices," I said. "Her decisions led to her violent end."

"You must resist her," said Samara. "You must ignore her voice, guard yourself against her."

"I'll do my best. I have no other choice."

"I am sorry, Shepard. For forcing you to do this. For letting this happen."

I sighed. "Can't say it's been fun, but remember what I said about choices? Well this is mine. I chose to help you. Wasn't forced, not by you. I'm going to see this through. Every choice has its consequences."

Samara looked at me with wonder. "I have heard such wisdom before, but not from someone so young. You are a true paragon."

"Nah. I'm no hero. I'm just me," I replied. "I do the job. I used to get paid and get the girl as well, but those two are a mite shaky as of late. But still, I do the job. It's what I was meant to do."

Samara reached out and touched me on the arm. "It will be an honour to fight alongside you."

I smiled. "Likewise."

**Shift**

I slowed things down a little as I healed both my body and mind. We did a few missions, nothing major. Worked on upgrading the Normandy. Got to know my crew a little better. When I was sharing a laugh or some quiet conversation, I didn't hear Morinth's voice quite as often.

I was hanging out with Tali on the engine deck, making small talk. It was amazing how much being around her made me feel. She and Garrus were the only two who truly understood what I had been through, and were the ones I could trust implicitly. Engineers Donnelly and Daniels were taking a break, and the two of us were alone. Tali was laughing at some stupid joke I made.

"...no, Shepard, I don't think that would be possible."

"Not even with the new upgrades?"

"Not even then. This 'Crazy Ivan' idea of yours is technically impossible."

"I thought you quarians could make a lump of metal do eezo jumps?"

"Well, not even I can make this happen."

Tali looked at me for a little while, then plucked up the courage to ask me something. "Shepard, I have a question. It's sort of personal."

"Fire away."

"Do you have feelings for Jack?"

I was surprised. "I suppose I do. Was it that obvious?"

"Ah, I thought as much. It's strange, really. You and Chief Williams were so good together."

I looked away. "I thought so too. Guess not."

"If you don't mind me asking...why?"

I thought it over a little. "I don't mind at all Tali. You're the little sister I never had. You know you can ask me anything. As for Jack...well, the heart works in mysterious ways."

"But what is it that you like about her?"

"Well, she's beautiful. I mean, really beautiful. She tries to hide it with the baldness and tats, but she looks amazing just the same. And she's a fighter. She's had to struggle and fight her whole life, sometimes against impossible odds. That's something I feel we share."

"Is that it?"

I considered some more. "If you held a gun to my head, I guess it's a hero complex or something. I want to save her, Tali. Call me old-fashioned or whatever, but I won't give up on her. She can be something other than what she has been her whole life, if only someone would take the trouble to know the girl behind the weapon. I know we're on a mission to save entire human colonies, but to me, saving one girl is more important."

I couldn't see Tali's facial expressions, but I knew her well and her body language suggested self-satisfaction.

"I knew it! You really do care about her. Oh, I'm so glad I was right."

I raised an eyebrow. "Mind telling me what you're talking about?"

"It's just that...we've been talking a lot lately. Jack and I."

"You were talking? About me?"

"Among other things, yes. After I found out you rejected Ms. Lawson - "

"Oh my God, how did you find that out? Is nothing on this ship sacred?"

"Please Shepard, you know it is. Anyway, I heard it from Kasumi."

"I'm going to keelhaul that girl..."

"Idle gossip is part and parcel of shipboard life. Trust me."

I sighed. "So what devious secrets did you reveal about me?"

"Nothing major. She came up to the engine deck one day and we just got to talking. She seemed pretty interested in you, to be honest."

"Like what exactly?"

"You know, like what kind of person you were, how were you like in those days when we fought Saren, that kind of thing."

"So what did you tell her?"

Tali hesitated. "That you were the best friend anyone could ever have," she said slowly. "That you truly believed in doing what is right over what is easy. That you were a hero in every possible way."

I felt a tear well up in my eye and brushed it away. I leaned over and gave Tali a hug. "Thank you, little sis. It means more to me than you'll ever know."

Tali gave me a hug right back. "I was just speaking the truth, Shepard. You are an amazing person. And if you really love her...well, all I can say is that she's very lucky."

I decided to tease her a little.

"Hey, Kal'Reegar's a lucky guy too."

"Reegar? But why...oh. Ohhh. Oh please, it's nothing like that!"

"I think he's got a little crush on you..."

"He does not! Does he? Really?"

"Maybe I'll ask him, find out what he thinks."

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Oh I would, Miss vas Normandy."

**Shift**

I felt great after talking to Tali. It gave me the resolve I needed to finally confront Jack. We hadn't really talked after she rescued me from Morinth. It was time to set that straight.

To my great surprise she wasn't lounging around doing nothing or playing with her knife. She was reading something, and looked up when I came in.

"Hey Jack."

"Jack."

"What've you got there?"

"Something I swiped from Goto. Earth wars and other historical stuff. I want to know why you find this shit fascinating."

I shrugged. "I just do. Among other things."

Jack gave me a sideways look. "Was that a come on? God, you are so lame, Shepard. I can't believe you're not a virgin."

My mouth fell open. "Well – I'm not!"

Jack leaned back. "I saved your life. Is this what's this about?"

"Partly. Thanks, by the way."

"No big deal."

"But we need to discuss this. Discuss us."

Jack laughed. "Why? I'm not interested in some dumbshit love affair. Never goes right."

"Why do you put so much distance between us?"

"I talked to your quarian friend. She seemed...genuine. I don't think you helped me just because you wanted another weapon. Not anymore."

"So why do you keep running?"

Jack was silent for the longest time. Then she spoke a single word. "Murtock."

_Who the hell was Murtock? _I wondered, but then it became apparent that Jack was about to explain him.

"He used me like the rest. For sex. For biotics. It was fun, and he ruined everything. We tagged a weapons frigate with a batarian escort and got separated. He had a choice. Leave with the guns, or come back for me. Idiot dumped the score and waded into the squints. I made the shuttle, but no way he was getting out."

"And?"

Her eyes were faraway. "I fly for a day or so, and the shuttle plays this recording. He'd set it to play if he didn't check in by that time. Figured he'd be dead by then. Talked about the future we were supposed to have, how he planned to set us up a home."

She hesitated.

"How he...loved me and said he was sorry it wasn't going to happen."

There wasn't a note of sadness in her voice. More of anger at the loss of the future she was robbed of. Jack didn't have time for regret, but she could get mad at the things that caused it.

"How many batarians did you kill for that one?"

"Wasn't their fault. It was his. You feel, you get sloppy. It's that damn simple. He found out, and you will too!"

"If he had left you, you would have died."

"So what? Ever see me flinch? Or run? Death is easy. Fuckin' on off switch. But this...it just burrows in. Like those husks, you end up with nothing inside. I'm supposed to take that and say 'thanks, dead guy?' I'd rather be dead."

"I can't make all of that go away Jack. Not in a few talks."

Jack folded her arms. "No kidding," she said, almost sadly. "Told you we wouldn't work. Guess you'll be spending more time upstairs."

I shook my head. "Nope. I'll be staying down here with you."

Jack gave me a look of pure incomprehension. "But you just said -"

"I said I couldn't wave my hand and make everything better. That doesn't mean you're not worth staying for anyway."

"Okay. What the fuck Shepard?" said Jack in bewilderment.

"You think we can't be together because you're nuts? Hell, join the club. We're all inmates here on the Normandy Asylum. You've got problems. Who the hell doesn't? Least of all me. I'm technically a zombie, for God's sake. And that's just the start. But you're just not getting it. I don't give up. Ever. And that means I'm not giving up on you."

"But I'll just fuck you up!"

"You wouldn't be the first."

"How does that even make sense?"

"Doesn't need to. I know what I want. It doesn't matter if you think this won't work Jack, get it through your head that _I don't care. _I want to make this work. I want to try."

Jack backed away. "I...I need some time to think, alright? Just...leave me alone. For a while. Goddamnit."

I went up the stairs. "Take all the time you need. I'll still be waiting."

**Abandoned Cerberus Research Facility**

**Mnemosyne**

**Thorne System**

"I don't like this. It's too quiet."

"Yeah, me neither. We should get the fuck out of here, Shepard."

"Settle down. We still need that Reaper IFF. Samara, take point. Thane, watch our six."

"As you wish."

"Certainly."

We kept in a tight formation, slowly moving through the derelict Cerberus research facility. The Illusive Man claimed we needed a Reaper Friend-or-Foe-Identificator to get through the Omega 4 relay without being blown up by whatever defenses the Collectors may have stashed on the other side of the relay. He mentioned one such IFF device possibly being located within the bowels of an ancient dead Reaper, a corpse millions of years old which his scientists were examining. Ominously, he had lost all contact with the team a few weeks ago and the investigative teams he had sent had not reported back.

I shared Grunt's growing sense of dread as we moved through the facility. There were no enemies, at least not that we could see, but the logs left by the scientists were highly disturbing. They were clearly losing their minds and their sanity the longer they spent in close proximity to the Reaper corpse. As their project head hauntingly put it; 'Even dead gods can dream.'

Jack was high-strung, but Samara was a calming influence. I had come to depend heavily on the justicar, and her centuries of experience lent her a bedrock of serenity even in the most intense of situations. She moved ahead with absolute confidence, trusting completely in her biotic abilities and fighting skills. Thane as ever was as cool as ice, quickly scouting positions and keeping watch over us. I began to feel a little less paranoid. Surely with them around nothing could go wrong.

We stepped through a decontamination chamber, and out the other side into a wide open area. I still couldn't see or hear anything out of the ordinary, and moved warily, senses strained to detect any sign of danger.

Two sniper shots rang out, and I heard the sound of a couple of bodies hitting the ground. As I spun around in shock, two husks whose heads had been recently ventilated were lying on the floor right behind me. If it weren't for the mystery sniper, they would have taken me down from behind.

"Over there!" yelled Grunt, and I looked up to see what he was pointing at.

It was a single geth wielding a sniper rifle, but unlike any geth I had ever seen before. It had a massive hole right in the middle of its chest that didn't seem to impede it in any way. On its shoulder was a piece of armour that looked strangely familiar.

It stood up straight when it saw us. And to my amazement, it spoke a single word.

"Shepard-Commander," it intoned. Then it leapt off its perch and out of sight.

"A talking geth. That's new," remarked Jack. Then all hell broke loose.

Swarms of husks attacked us as we battled our way across the facility. They were significantly tougher than I remembered them being, certainly stronger than the ones I encountered on Eden Prime. Grunt and I were scrabbling for extra thermal clips as we poured a steady stream of fire into the onrushing hordes of husks.

Jack and Samara were using their biotics intelligently, like I taught them. Instead of attacking the husks directly, they were exploiting the environment by flinging the husks over the safety railings to their doom. Jack's shockwave was chewing everything up in sight, while Samara was clearing the area of husks steadily but relentlessly.

Still, we would have been overwhelmed if not for Thane. The assassin fell back as soon as he saw that we were about to be attacked. Then he went to work.

Thane never wasted a bullet like Grunt and I were doing. Nor did he rely solely on his biotics like Samara and Jack were doing. With every step he took a shot, and with every shot a husk died. When a husk got too close, he flung them away with a biotic push, and let either myself or Grunt take care of it. Otherwise he was mowing them down with his sniper, taking aim, firing and moving on to the next target faster than the eye could blink.

We moved as a team, as a unit. We watched each other's backs, never went after the same target. Grunt would slam a fist into a husk charging at Jack so hard it would be sent flying over the railings. Three husks would advance on Samara and Thane would snipe two of them, leaving her to easily deal with the last one. I felt a surge of confidence as we fought through the husks, never giving an inch. The team I had worked so hard to build was coming together at last. We just might stand a chance against the Collectors.

Then...two scions. Blocking our way. Two of the toughest opponents we'd faced so far.

I looked at Grunt. "Think you can handle one?"

The young krogan stared back at me, his huge face inches from mine. Despite all of his ferocity and aggressiveness, he still deferred to me as his Battlemaster. Kelly had even speculated that the respect he felt for me went deeper, that I could very well be the father figure he naturally gravitated towards. I took that responsibility very seriously. If Grunt looked to me as a father, then I would be one. The krogan had impressed time and time in battle, and he was growing into his role as a standard-bearer for all krogan.

But I was asking a hell of a lot. I wanted Grunt to engage the first scion alone, while the rest of us hammered down the other one. Only overwhelming firepower would work against them. Hopefully we could do it in time before he was killed by the first one. It was a monumental task. I waited to see how he would react.

Grunt smiled, his mouth looking like the Grand Canyon. "On your signal."

He was willing to follow my orders, even this one. I prayed I was doing the right thing.

"Alright. NOW!"

We sprung out from behind cover and unloaded everything we had on the second scion.

Thane sniped away at the scion's 'head', again and again. Jack sent crashing waves of biotic energy barrelling into the patchwork horror. Samara focused, using her reave abilities to prevent the scion from repairing its shields. For my part I just blasted away with my assault rifle, hoping against hope that the scion would go down just in time so we could help Grunt. I could hear him roaring, and I feared the worst.

Under the barrage of our furious attacks the scion weakened, then collapsed, its hide on fire. Jack blasted it into the air and we rushed over to where Grunt was battling the second scion by himself.

He was on the ground, flat on his back, something I had never seen before. He was clutching the arms of the scion, trying to wrestle it and gain some leverage, but it was attacking him again and again with biotic blasts. Grunt's roars of pain were getting louder.

I tried shooting, but my gun refused to comply. It had heated up to a massive degree, and wasn't going to be functional for a while. In desperation I launched myself at the scion, attacking it with my bare hands.

The thing barely noticed me, but the impact of my body weight was apparently all the edge that Grunt needed. With a tremendous effort he shoved the scion out of the way.

"Get back, Shepard!" commanded Samara, and I did so. Then the three biotics unleashed a massive burst of energy at the scion. The force of their attack tore it apart.

I staggered over to Grunt's side. "How are you holding up?"

"I'll live."

I broke out the medi-gel and started slathering it over Grunt's wounds. "Here, this should do the trick. Your regenerative abilities will take care of the rest."

"That was...a hell of a fight, Shepard," growled Grunt. "Don't do it again."

"For the quint who took out a thresher maw?" I said jovially. "This is nothing. I'm proud of you, Grunt."

Grunt's huge mouth formed its toothy smile again, and he got to his feet.

"Bring on our next victim," he said, slamming a fist into a palm.

I replaced the overheated thermal clip with a fresh one and we moved on into the heart of the facility. The Reaper IFF was waiting for us in another corridor, and I picked it up and tucked it away. A shimmering field barred our way into the next area, a raised platform facing the heart of the Reaper core.

Working at a console was the geth we had spotted earlier. It appeared to be hacking...something, although we couldn't be sure what. A bunch of husks sneaked up behind it, but it gunned them down and continued working on the console.

The shield separating us from the core dropped, and we rushed inside. But more husks had swarmed the geth, and it was currently out of commission.

We immediately formed a ring over the fallen geth, blasting away all the husks that were threatening to overrun our position. Meanwhile Thane sighted his rifle on the Reaper core and waited for the perfect shot. The moment it opened up, he fired away, not missing a single shot.

The Reaper core sparked and died. The entire facility was rocked to its foundations. Clearly taking out the core had inflicted colossal damage to the whole area.

"We should recover the geth. It may be useful," remarked Thane calmly, as he always did.

"It may be dangerous," cautioned Samara. "I suggest we evacuate this area immediately, now that we have obtained the Reaper IFF."

"Tali said no one's ever captured an intact geth before. Let's take it back to the Normandy. If it causes trouble, Grunt can use it for a toothpick."

The big krogan slung one arm over his shoulders, while I supported the other. We raced to the extraction point, with the facility falling down around our ears.

With a mighty shove I sent the geth flying off the platform and allowed it to drift directly into the open airlock of the Normandy. Samara, Grunt, Jack and Thane did the same, with me covering them. I shot down the last of the husks, and took a flying leap myself.

I just about made it, and Thane pulled me in. I tapped the communicator to speak to Joker.

"We're clear. Go now!"

The Normandy zoomed away from the ruined facility, with everyone none the worse for wear. I had a full crew, and the Reaper IFF. Nothing was going to stand in my way between myself and the Collectors.


	11. Catharsis

**Chapter 11 – Catharsis**

**Normandy Mk II**

**Geth Heretic Station**

**The Sea of Storms**

I reached up and punched the release catch on my helmet. It broke apart with a hiss and I pulled it off, relishing the feel of the cool air of the Normandy's interior on my face. I wiped the sweat out of my eyes and risked a grin at Joker.

"Are we out of the radiation wave yet, or do I have a gruesome and painful death to look forward to?"

"Please, Commander," said Joker airily, fingers flying over his command console. "We'll be away from that geth station faster than you can blink."

"I'm sorry Mr. Moreau, but I have to point out that the human body is quite capable of blinking faster than the Normandy is of escaping the station's relative proximity -"

"EDI, remember what I said about rhetorical statements?"

"That they were pointless and a waste of time?"

I laughed at the look on Joker's face. "She's got you there mate. Well done everyone. According to Legion the rewritten program will eventually cause the geth heretics to abandon their worship of the Reapers."

The renegade geth whirred and buzzed. "The heretics will cease to be, and will be welcomed back into the greater geth community," it said in its monotonous, matter-of-fact voice.

"You really are the perfect communists, aren't you?" sneered Joker. "Marx would have a huge hard on for you guys."

Legion remained stationary for a moment, its headlight flashing. Then it spoke. "Marx = Karl Marx, human philosopher, economist and writer in Earth's early twentieth century. Seminal work _Das Kapital _theorised the creation of a true socialist utopia for humanity. Early work. Serious flaws. But conceptually intriguing -"

"Alright, that's enough history," I interrupted. "Get back down to the AI Core. I think we deserve a break after that little escapade."

"Shepard-Commander," acknowledged Legion, and walked away.

Tali stared after it, her posture suggesting hostility. "I don't trust that machine," she said, with some venom.

"I don't blame you," I said, "But as long as it's here we can keep an eye on him. If it is telling the truth about geth heretics and a larger group of 'peaceful' geth, that would be very interesting, wouldn't it?"

"I'm afraid I don't see why."

"Think about it, Tali. We know the Reapers are coming. We know the Citadel and the Council are woefully unprepared. We're going to need an army. And we might just need the geth."

Tali's head snapped towards mine before I could say anything else. "You mean...everything you've been doing...urging the Migrant Fleet not to go to war and so on. Keeping the cure for the krogan genophage. That was all preparation? For some future invasion?"

I put a finger to my lips. "Shhh. Mum's the word."

Tali didn't say anything. It was hard to tell whether she was impressed or frightened. Then she headed off in the direction of the engineering deck.

"Joker, give it to me straight. Am I insane?"

The pilot executed a little maneuver that made the Normandy leap forward before replying. "First of all Commander, insane people don't wonder whether or not they're insane. They think they're perfectly all right. So you're probably not insane."

"That's a relief."

"That doesn't mean I don't think what you're doing is insane though. You know the rest of the crew might not have noticed, but you're really planning far ahead, aren't you? Rachni, krogan, quarians, and now the geth...Jesus Commander, you're essentially a warlord now."

"I know. But I have no choice. The Council won't see reason. I might not have time later to build up our defenses for the Reapers."

"I understand that, and the rest of us do too. We're all behind you. But from the point of view of someone who doesn't know you like we do, from the point of view of the rest of the galaxy, in fact...don't you see how you might appear?"

"Like what?"

"Think about it Commander. Who was the last Spectre who amassed his own private army in defiance of the Council?"

"You don't mean – _Saren?_"

Joker nodded. "Spooky, huh?"

"I'm not indoctrinated!"

"We know that. But the Council and the rest of the verse don't. All I'm saying is be careful, Commander. Otherwise you might find yourself biting off more than you can chew."

Joker had always spoken his mind, regardless of the circumstances or occasion. It was something I simultaneously liked about him, but annoyed me all the same. Joker had gone through hell to back me up when I was assumed dead and buried, however. That was something I wouldn't forget in a hurry.

"I hear ya, Jeff. We'll figure out how to deal with all of that later. But now, the Collectors."

"Yes sir."

**Shift**

I was pounding the hell out of a punching bag in the gym when the door opened and someone walked in. I was so focused on what I was doing I didn't notice until she started yelling.

"Oi! Jack! Are you deaf or something?"

I lowered my arms and swept the hood off my face. To my surprise Jack was there, wearing something other than pants and multiple belts. She had on a sleeveless top made of some shiny black material, and she looked good in it.

"Hey Jack. I like the new outfit."

Jack looked embarrassed, and refused to meet my eyes. "Yeah, well, I just wanted something else to wear."

"I think it looks nice."

"Yeah? Maybe I don't care what you think."

"And maybe I don't care that you don't care," I returned, as easily as a tennis serve. "Take it or leave it, that's how I feel."

Jack gave me a strange look. Then the beginnings of smile tugged the corners of her lips. "You're weird, Jack. That kinda gets me off."

I leaned casually against the side of the boxing ring. "The feeling's somewhat mutual."

Jack laughed. "I figured. Always knew you were a freak under all that spit and polish, big Alliance hero crap."

"Maybe. What are you doing here anyway?"

"I went to find Samara."

"Huh? Why?"

"She almost let you get killed. All for her stupid daughter."

"Now wait just a moment..."

"I gave her a piece of my mind."

"Look Jack, I walked into it with my eyes wide open. It was my choice, and it was my fault."

"I don't care. You could have been killed. I...I don't want that to happen, okay?"

"Neither do I."

"One more wisecrack like that and I'll kick your ass, Jack," she threatened.

"Alright, alright. I'm sorry," I said, chuckling.

"It's just that...do you know what it's like to know that you're alone, and then find out you're not?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

Jack made a noise of disapproval. "You don't have to agree so fast, you fucker."

"But it's true. Did you come here to discuss our relationship?"

"I said I needed to think about it. Still do. It's just...this is so strange for me, and you just keep pushing. What am I supposed to do about that? Maybe if I wait long enough, you'll go away."

"That won't happen."

"How the hell can you say that? No one knows what's going to happen in the next few days. You could be blown up, I could be shot. All of us could fucking die."

"Maybe. But as long as I'm here, I'll wait for you Jack."

Jack had nothing to say to that, one arm hanging by her side, the other crossed over her chest. Then she started to speak, hesitantly.

"I need to know something."

"Yes?"

"Remember that girl you were with before. That Alliance bitch."

"Ash? What about her?"

"You said you were through. That it was over."

"Yeah, it is."

"If she came back to you...if she went on her knees and pleaded to take you back...would you do it?"

I hung my head. "No," I whispered. I'd made my choice.

"I thought you loved her."

"I did."

"And?"

"Things have changed. She's not the woman I fell in love with, not anymore. I'm not the same man I was two years ago either. And I don't think things can be fixed between us."

"What if that happens to us? What if something comes along and breaks us up?"

"I don't know the future. But I know myself. I'm in love with someone else now. And while I'm standing I'll do anything to make this work."

Jack stared at me, eyes blazing, daring me to come closer. I did.

"I'm asking you to take a leap of faith. I want this. I want us. Take a chance."

"I...I want -"

EDI's glowing blue interface popped up suddenly. "Commander Shepard, Jack. XO Lawson requests your presence in the Briefing Room."

"For fuck's sake, you shiny blue piece of AI crap, can't you shut up for two seconds?" raged Jack. I smiled and reached for her hand. She was not used to the contact. But finally, at long last, she didn't pull away.

"There'll be time for us later. Let's go find out what Miranda wants us for."

We walked, hand in hand, to the Briefing Room. Every specialist I had recruited was already there, waiting for us. Without a word Jack left my side and sidled away into the shadows, leaning against the wall. Once more I was the focus of attention.

I looked at Miranda, who was waiting at the head of the table.

"Well?"

"I received a tip from Cerberus sources."

"The Illusive Man?"

"Not precisely. But rest assured the information is reliable. The Collectors are going to strike another human colony within the next day. We have the chance to stop them."

I looked around at my assembled team. "This sounds like a priceless opportunity. This room alone contains the deadliest and toughest fighters in all the galaxy. I think we should be able to repel one Collector attack."

The room murmured assent. I nodded at Miranda.

"Let's not waste any time."

"Hey Commander?" buzzed in Joker on the intercom. "It looks like the Reaper IFF is hooked up and ready to go."

"That is not entirely accurate Mr. Moreau," corrected EDI. "The device is powered, but it is causing unusual instability in other systems. I recommend a more thorough analysis before we attempt to use it."

I frowned. "We can't put our mission on hold forever. How long will this take?"

"Full scan? Who knows with this thing," said Joker. "Maybe you'd better take the shuttle for the colony defense."

"Alright. Let's get to the shuttle bay. Joker, the ship is yours."

"Aye aye Commander."

**Shift**

"_I'm telling you, EDI, your readings are off. It's just radiation bleed, white noise!" Joker said frustratedly._

"_I have detected a signal embedded in the static. We are transmitting the Normandy's location," warned EDI._

"_Transmitting? To who?"_

_The bridge shutters were open, Shepard liked to see the expanse of space rocket by while the Normandy was flying. This unfortunately allowed the crew of the Normandy to get a good look at the gigantic Collector ship that appeared out of nowhere, as if stepping out from behind a curtain. A cry of shock and dismay went up from the Bridge._

"_Oh shit!" screamed Joker. "We're getting out of here!"_

"_Propulsion systems are disabled," reported EDI. "I detect a virus in the ship's computers."_

"_From the IFF? Damn it, why didn't you scrub it?"_

"_Primary defense systems are offline. I can help save the ship, Mr. Moreau, but you must help me."_

_The emergency warning system had been sounded, the crew members springing into action. Shepard might have taken all the onboard specialists away for his mission, but the rest still could handle a gun. They took up positions near the airlock, ready to blast anything that poked its head round the door._

"_Give me the ship."_

"_What? You're crazy!" retorted Joker. "You start singing Daisy Bell and I'm done!"_

"_Unlock my sealed databases, and I can initiate countermeasures. The maintenance shaft in the science lab will allow passage to the AI Core. _

"_The main corridors are no longer safe. The Collectors have boarded."_

_Joker struggled out of his seat, and fought to stay on his feet._

"_Goddamnit."_

**Shift**

"Where's this goddamn Collector invasion of yours, Miranda?" roared Zaeed irritably.

We had been waiting in our fortified positions for several hours now, without any sign of an attack. The colonists had been scared and nervous once we arrived and explained the gravity of the situation, but after all this time without even a hint of a bug-eyed abductionist some had even returned to their daily duties, looking strangely at us.

"I don't know," she said tersely. "We should wait a while longer."

"We have been waiting hours beyond what your intelligence suggested the timing of the attack would be," pointed out Thane. "We serve no further purpose by remaining here."

"I don't understand it," muttered Miranda. "My sources are never wrong."

"They fucked up this time," said Jack loudly.

I stepped between the pair of them before another fight could erupt. "Something's not quite right. Let's just head back to the Normandy."

"Shepard!" said Garrus urgently, running up to me. "I received a distress call from one of my security devices on board the Normandy."

"Who authorised you to place security devices on the ship, Mr. Vakarian?" asked Miranda pointedly.

"Everyone else was doing it, I thought I'd join in on the fun -"

"Enough! Garrus, what's wrong?"

"The ship has been invaded, Shepard. It's the Collectors. They're hijacking the Normandy!"

I turned my head and bellowed over my shoulder at the rest of my team. "BACK TO THE SHUTTLE! DOUBLE TIME!"

**Shift**

_Joker clambered gingerly down the maintenance shaft located in Mordin's neat laboratory. The Collectors had overrun the Bridge, he still could hear Hadley's screams ringing in his ears._

"_Multiple hostiles detected on the crew deck," reported EDI. Joker swore under his breath._

"_Joker!" cried Hawthorne upon seeing the pilot. "The deck is crawling with those things. Stay close – I'll protect you!"_

_The two of them crept out of the Life Support area and onto the main floor. Hawthorne rushed around the corner, and was sent hurtling into the air, crashing against the wall. Joker gibbered in fear._

"_AAAAAH!" screamed Kelly Chambers, writhing in the grip of a scion which was pulling her into the elevator. "Help me! Help me please!"_

_Joker closed his eyes for a moment, feeling incredible guilt wash over him. He liked Kelly a hell of a lot. But there wasn't a thing he could do to help her. He struggled onwards, following the emergency lighting to Dr. Chakwas's Med Bay, and into the AI Core._

"_Main fusion plant offline. Activating emergency H-fuel cells," reported EDI._

"_Alright, I'm at uh – you," said Joker, hauling himself closer to a command console._

"_Connect the core to the Normandy's primary control module," directed EDI._

"_Great, this is where it starts. When we're all just organic batteries, guess who they'll blame? This is all Joker's fault, what a tool he was! I have to spend all day computing pi because he plugged in the Overlord!"_

_There was a frantic burst of electronic whirring and clicking. Then the lights in the AI Core, previously dimmed, came on all at once._

"_I have access to the defensive systems. Thank you Mr. Moreau. Now you must reactivate the primary drive in Engineering."_

"_Ah, now I need to go crawling through the ducts again."_

"_I enjoy the sight of humans on their knees."_

_Joker gave EDI a look. Of all the time for her to grasp the concept of humour..._

"_That is a joke."_

"_Right."_

**Shift**

"I can't contact Joker or the rest of the crew," said Jacob. "The Collectors must have taken the communication systems offline."

"Can't you make this thing go faster?" I asked Zaeed, who was piloting the shuttle.

"I'm going full throttle as it is! Maybe you could shove the krogan overboard, that'll lighten the load."

Grunt growled menacingly.

"Just – hurry up. We need to save them!"

**Shift**

_Joker hurried through the labyrinth depths of the engineering deck. He wasn't sure, but he thought he could see the Collectors carrying away an unconscious Gabby and a kicking and screaming Ken. Whatever EDI was going to do, it was too late to save them._

"_Activate the drive and I will open the airlocks as we accelerate. All hostiles will be killed," ordered EDI._

"_What? What about the crew?"_

"_They're gone, Jeff. The Collectors took them."_

"_Ah, shit."_

_Joker crawled into the Engine Room, and made some last minute adjustments._

"_I am sealing the Engine Room," warned EDI. "Brace yourself."_

_There was a terrific jolt as the Normandy accelerated. Joker was thrown off his feet and onto the floor._

_A moment that seemed to stretch forever. And then..._

"_Purge is complete. No other life forms detected on board. Securing airlocks and cargo bay doors."_

_Joker got to his feet, tears in his eyes._

"_Send a message to Shepard's shuttle. Tell him what happened."_

"_Message away. Are you feeling well Jeff?"_

_Joker limped off in the direction of the Bridge. "No. But thanks for asking."_

**Shift**

"Everyone?" snapped Miranda, coming into the Briefing Room. "You lost everyone, and damn near the ship too?"

"I know, alright!" yelled back Joker. "I was here!"

"It's not his fault, Miranda," said Jacob. "None of us caught it."

"Mr. Taylor is correct," interjected EDI. "The harmful data in the Collector drive was even more sophisticated than the black box Reaper viruses I was given."

"Have you considered, Miranda, that your so-called source might have led us away from the Normandy on purpose?" asked Tali pointedly.

"That has crossed my mind," said Miranda through gritted teeth. "I'll put a gun to his head the next time we meet."

"How are you holding up, El-Tee?" I asked Joker. He looked around morosely, refusing to meet my eyes.

"There's a lot of empty chairs in here."

"We did everything we could, Jeff," said EDI. Was it just me or were the two on first name terms now?

"Yeah. Thanks mom."

"Is the ship clean?" asked Garrus. "We can't risk something like this happening again."

"EDI and I purged the systems. The Reaper IFF is online. We can go through the Omega 4 relay whenever the Commander wants."

"Don't even get me started about unshackling a damned AI," said Miranda archly.

"What was I supposed to do about Collectors, break my arm at them?" retorted Joker. "EDI helped me clear the ship. She's...she's alright."

"I assure you, I am still bound by protocols in my programming. Even if I were not, you are still my crewmates. You have treated me with respect, and I shall do the same."

I felt like smiling, the first such time since this whole debacle began. "Thanks EDI. We'll need all the help we can get."

"Sounds like we have everything we need to rescue the crew and finish the mission," observed Garrus, looking at me.

"We've done everything we can. It's time to take the fight to the Collectors," said Jacob.

I nodded. "Joker, to the Bridge. The rest of you, back to your stations."

Joker saluted. "Aye aye sir. Just punch up the Galaxy Map whenever you're ready."

**Shift**

I was sitting in my quarters, going over some reports. Not a single word engaged my brain, overshadowed by the overwhelming feeling of guilt hanging over my head. The Collectors had taken my crew. The men and women I had sworn to protect. Mama always said a leader looked out for his crew, and I had failed to do so. I had given Joker the order to proceed at full speed towards the Omega 4 relay. I didn't want to waste another second while the lives of my crew were in danger.

I gave up trying to make sense of anything and sat back in my chair, my head in my hands.

_Embrace your despair, Shepard, _whispered a voice in the deepest, darkest corners of my mind. _Accept your failure and acknowledge your defeat._

"Shut up," I said wearily. "Just leave me alone, Morinth."

The elevator hissed open, and someone stepped into my quarters.

"Jack?"

I looked up to see the woman I had fallen in love with. Her lithe, slim body that belied the strength and power of an inferno, the tattoos that tried to bury the sensitive person deep inside. My heart ached for her, for someone who could understand what I was going through. Someone who needed me as much as I needed her. I yearned to touch her again.

"I wasn't expecting you, Jack."

"I was thinking about you, and what happened to the crew and...maybe you're right. That I need...something more than what I'm used to."

I reached out and cupped her chin with my hand, gently turning her to face me.

"Hey, listen to me. It's alright. No more questions."

Jack let out a small, brief sob, and put her arms around me. I wrapped my hands around her waist as she cried into my shoulder. We stayed like that for a while, just savouring the feel of simple human contact. I didn't know how much I'd missed it until then. Someone to hold, to lean on in a time of crisis and to do the same for them.

"Are you going to leave me?"

"Never," I whispered. "I've made my choice. I love you Jack."

She held me tighter, head buried in my chest. I led her to the bed, and she lay down on her back, looking up into my eyes. I stared back, wondering at how something so beautiful had seen so much pain and horror, but was gradually healing to be the person I knew she could be.

I shrugged off my shirt, letting it slither to the floor, and bent down to kiss her. Jack placed a hand on my chest, stopping me from going further.

"Jack, I...I don't want to have sex. Not now. Please?"

I stopped short. Jack had told me stories of how she was raped when she was just a little girl by smugglers and slavers. Of how she was raped in the showers on Purgatory. In my haste to give in to my own desire, I had forgotten Jack viewed sex differently from other people. She had a ton of issues to work through before she was even ready for intimacy. But somehow, I didn't mind. We'd get through them together. As a couple.

"I mean you'll probably think I'm a fucking psycho or something, leading you on and not -"

I stroked her cheek. "Hey. I understand. I'll wait. Until you're ready."

"What if...what if I'm never ready?" she asked, her voice trembling.

I looked into her eyes, and held her hand to my chest, close to my heart. "I don't mind. I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to. I still love you. Sex isn't that important."

Jack smiled as I brushed away a tear from her cheek.

"Thank you."

She placed her arms around my neck and brought my head down for our first kiss. Her lips opened up slightly under mine, her teeth parting as I slid my tongue into her mouth. We did nothing else for a while, just kissing, thrilling at the feel of her tongue sliding around mine, wet and willing and eager. I broke contact and lowered my lips to her collarbone, kissing her there, up her neck and tugging gently at her earlobe while her hands ran up and down my back.

She was breathing faster now, her hands growing more urgent. I caressed the sides of her head and kissed her again and again. I tasted the iron tang of blood and realised I had been a little too intense. But Jack didn't seem to mind. She reached for my hands, and I held hers, squeezing tight.

"Don't let go. Never let go."

"I won't."

"Jack...I think I'm in love you."

I gave her another deep kiss, the kind that left her gasping for air. "I love you too."

My pants were beginning to get tight, a testament to the flame that this incredible young woman had woken up within me. She knew it as well, could feel every last inch of my desire. But I was willing to wait. To not force the issue. Her whole life Jack had been used to men who saw her as nothing but a piece of meat to satisfy their urges. With me she had opened up on a deeper, more intimate level. I would never betray that gesture of trust and acceptance.

We kissed and cuddled for hours, not doing anything more, just indulging in the touch of one lover to another that both of us had missed. Jack laid her head on my bare chest, and I cradled her with my arm, kissing the top of her head whenever I felt like it.

"This will be all over soon," she said to me. "We'll go through the relay and rescue the crew, and finish the mission."

"Whatever happens after that," I whispered, "I'll be by your side. We'll go anywhere we want. Together."

"I like the sound of that," Jack said sleepily. Her breathing changed and I knew she had drifted off. Below deck Jack had always slept holed up behind some kind of cover, ready to spring awake at the slightest hint of trouble. Yet here she was, curled up in my arms, sleeping like it was the most natural thing to do, without a care in the world.

I closed my eyes, enjoying Jack's warmth close to me. I had missed the feeling of being in love, of going to sleep beside a person I loved. The voices in my head were still. Finally, I was at peace.


	12. I'm a Leaf on the Wind, Watch How I Soar

**Chapter 12 – I'm a Leaf on the Wind (Watch How I Soar)**

**Normandy Mk II**

It was eerie walking through the decks and corridors of the Normandy and seeing absolutely no one, hearing nothing but silence. Every ship I had served on was always packed to the rafters with servicemen and women, people whom you served many long months with. People whom you saw more often than your friends and family. Serving on a ship brings people closer in ways you can't describe or imagine. Your crew becomes your family. You knew if Hawthorne was feeling under the weather or if Goldstein needed a coffee break. As the commanding officer, the effect was magnified. The crew knew their duties, but in times of crisis, they looked to me. I was the one they depended on to make the big decisions and see them through the fire unscathed. I hoped their faith in me would not turn out to be misplaced.

Visiting Engineering and seeing Tali work alone, without the back and forth banter from Ken and Gabby. Going up to the Crew deck and seeing it completely deserted. No Gardner cooking lunch, no Dr. Chakwas working in her office, no one using the gym or playing cards in their quarters. And then up to the Bridge, where it really hit home. At any given time there would be people manning their stations, all doing their part to keep the Normandy alive and flying. Kelly would be at her station beside the Galaxy Map, sifting through all the reports and 'paperwork'. Now EDI had taken over all their duties, and as Joker mentioned, there were a lot of empty chairs around.

"Please confirm destination Commander," said EDI, when I had assumed my position. "The Reaper IFF is online, but there is a chance the Normandy might not survive passage through the Omega 4 relay. Once we are en route, we are committed."

"The Collectors took my crew. My people. They trusted me, and they're suffering for it. I'm going to get them back or die trying."

"You got it Commander. ETA to the Omega 4 relay's about two hours. I'll let you know when we arrive," said Joker from the cockpit.

The elevator opened, and Miranda came up to me. She had changed from her skintight white Cerberus suit into a skintight black suit that left little to the imagination, but also reminded me of those action spy vids I watched from time to time.

"I'll admit it Shepard, I'm impressed. You got us here. Are you ready?"

"We've got the best team this verse has ever seen. We've packed so many upgrades into the ship she's capable of taking down a dreadnought. The Collectors don't know we're coming, they think they're invincible after taking my crew. I intend to correct that."

"I hope you're right. We'll know soon enough. Good luck, Shepard. See you on the other side."

She gave me a salute, the first time she had done so. Surprised, I returned it. Miranda might not have been my ideal girlfriend, but she was a hell of an XO. I was grateful for her trust and support.

"The Illusive Man wishes to speak to you. When you're ready?"

I stepped down from the Galaxy Map and headed to the Armory. "Give me a moment to put on my armour and gear up."

When I was ready, I went to the Briefing Room and waited on the holographic projector. The Normandy faded away and was replaced by a vast, immense viewing gallery of sorts which contained only a single chair, and looked out into the heart of a star.

Unusually, the Illusive Man wasn't sitting down, but staring off into space. He turned around as soon as my hologram was up.

"Shepard. I wish I had more information for you. I don't like you heading through that relay blind. But we don't have much choice."

I eyed the old bastard, wondering again how much of his words I could trust. He'd put me and my team in danger before, yanked my chain and withheld information. But this was the crucial moment. Besides, it didn't really matter any more whether he was on the level or not. There were other, far more important things at stake.

"I've got some of the best going through the relay with me. I'm not worried."

The Illusive Man took a long drag on his cigarette before replying.

"I knew we brought you back for a reason. I've never seen a better leader. Despite the dangers, it's a great opportunity. The first human to take a ship through...and survive."

"I've got a seat open if you'd care to join us," I joked.

"Thanks for the offer, but I'll be sitting this one out," said the Illusive Man. "I just wanted you to know that I appreciate the risks you've taken. Regardless of your opinion of Cerberus, of me. You are an invaluable asset to all of humanity. Be careful, Shepard."

"Yeah, I will. See you later, Tim."

As the connection broke I could have sworn I heard the Illusive Man ask himself who this Tim was.

**Shift**

The Omega 4 relay hung in space, grim, foreboding like the gates to hell. I almost expected it to have a sign hovering above that read 'Abandon hope all ye who enter here.' It was decidedly larger than other mass effect relays and the light emanating from it was an ominous dark orange, instead of the sedate blue that was more common in other relays.

I stared at the relay, recalling all the horror stories and rumours that had been bandied about this mysterious gateway. No ship had ever passed through it and lived to tell the tale. According to our data, we knew that the relay led to a point near the very centre of the galaxy, where black holes and other hazards lay in wait. The Collectors must have had unthinkable advanced technology to build and maintain a base in that area, and I was guessing they had help. Specifically giant squidlike millenia-old space monster help.

What kind of defenses were we about to encounter? I felt like the captain of an ancient Earth sailing ship, steering his vessel into a maelstrom. It was going to be a bumpy ride.

"Approaching the Omega 4 relay," announced Joker into the PA system. I was standing beside him, one hand on his pilot's chair. "Everyone stand by."

"Make it so!" I ordered. Joker raised an eyebrow and I gave him a sheepish grin.

Joker punched in a few buttons, and EDI responded.

"Reaper IFF activated. Signal acknowledged."

"Commander!" chimed in Jacob from his position in the Armory. "Drive Core just lit up like a Christmas tree!"

"Drive Core electrical charge at critical levels," warned EDI.

"Rerouting!" yelled Joker, fingers flying over his console.

The Normandy swooped into the mass relay, and her hull rattled as we prepared to make the jump.

"Brace for deceleration," intoned EDI. I held on with both hands to Joker's chair, trying not to fall down. There was a flash of light, and a feeling like every particle of your body being sucked through a tiny tunnel, and then...

"Oh shit!" yelled Joker. He frantically went to work, and the Normandy lurched, its nose tilted upwards.

We had made it through the relay and out the other side, but the view was less than encouraging. We were in the middle of what appeared to be an asteroid field, although on closer inspection it became apparent the 'asteroids' were the derelict hulls of all the ships that had tried to find out what was on the other side of the relay and paid the ultimate price for their curiousity.

"Jesus Christ," I whispered. "There's so many."

Joker coaxed the Normandy upwards, ever upwards, and the rattling of the entire ship grew more violent. He weaved his way between the dead ships and suddenly we burst into a patch of empty space, free of the debris for one priceless moment.

The pilot let out a sigh of relief. "Too close."

We flew straight for the immense Collector base in the distance, looming over the debris field looking for all the world like a giant log being planted upright in a pool of water, with the ripples radiating out towards us.

"These must be all the ships that made it through the Omega 4 relay," said Joker, seeing the same thing as I had. "Some of them look...ancient."

"I am detecting an energy signature near the edge of the accretion disk," reported EDI.

"Has to be from that Collector base," I said. "Take us in for a closer look, nice and easy if you please."

"Be careful Jeff," chimed in EDI suddenly. "We have company."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Security drones. They are attacking the ship."

We were rocked as the drones blasted away at us, scorching the hull. I tried to catch a glimpse, but all I could see was a fleeting glance of a squat, blocky drone with a glowing red 'eye' that was firing lasers at the Normandy every other second.

"Taking evasive maneuvers," said Joker, making the Normandy dip and roll. Every chance he got, he fired the Normandy's own weapons and I thought I saw a drone catch fire and fall away from our trail.

"Now they're just pissing me off. EDI, take these bastards out!" yelled Joker.

"As long as the new plating holds, we should be fine," said Miranda beside me, trying to keep her cool.

We struggled to stay on our feet as Joker's maneuvers sorely strained the Normandy's artificial gravity. Suddenly EDI cut in with a warning.

"Alert! Hull breach detected!" She displayed a hologram of the ship's layout, with the breach outlined in red.

"They're in the cargo hold!" I said. "I'll take a team and deal with them. Joker, you try to get the rest of them off our tail!"

"Aye aye sir!"

I charged down the Bridge and into the elevator. Jack was down in the cargo hold. I had to get there, and fast.

**Shift**

Logically it made sense for the drones to attack the cargo hold. It was the area least shielded and armored, and it was full of sensitive equipment. What they couldn't have known however, was the fact that the cargo hold was home to about a battalion's worth of firepower.

Tali was the least intimidating, but you sure as hell couldn't say she was the least dangerous. Even as I watched she did something with her omni tool and a drone exploded in mid-air. Grunt wasn't even bothering to hide behind cover, wading out into the centre of the hold to blast at the drones with his shotguns. Zaeed was yelling a string of profanities as he did the same.

And Jack...

Well, Jack was proving why she was the most powerful biotic around. I was about to shoot a drone when she grabbed it with her biotics and crushed it in mid-air until it was about the size of a hamster. It dropped to the floor, sparking feebly.

Finally there was only one left, a big floaty silver ball with a glowing red eye. EDI unhelpfully informed me that the drone was known as an 'Oculus'.

"I don't care if it's God's left bollock, just tell me how to kill it!" I yelled.

"We'll need heavy weapons to bring that thing down," grunted Grunt.

"If it's heavy weapons you want I could gas up the old McCain -"

"NO!" yelled the other four.

"Are you fucking insane? In this small space? You'll kill us all!" yelled Zaeed.

"You try and bring it down then, smart guy," snapped back Jack.

"No, he's right," I said. I appreciated her support though. "I'll use the missile launcher instead. The rest of you, keep it occupied!"

"Easier said than done," muttered Tali, moving into position.

They began a dangerous game of chicken as the rest of them tried to distract the Oculus, firing intermittently while I broke out the missile launcher. I waited until Grunt blasted it three times with his shotgun at point-blank range, and the Oculus wheeled away from him rather jerkily. I let loose, firing every missile I had until the launcher clicked empty.

The missiles slammed into the Oculus one after the other, giving it no time to react. It smoked and crashed to the floor.

I barely had time to heave a sigh of relief before Joker's voice came in over my headset communicator.

"We're sitting ducks out here sir, I have to try and lose them in the debris field!"

I looked around glumly. The cargo hold was full of heavy, bulky items that could be sent flying at a moment's notice and splatter me to paste if Joker handled the Normandy too roughly.

"Our kinetic barriers are not designed to survive impact of a degree that high, Jeff," chided EDI.

"Well then it's a good thing we upgraded!"

Down in the cargo hold I nodded fervently. I had spared no expense to upgrade the Normandy's new shields. We were juggled about like peas in a cup as Joker steered the Normandy through the debris field. There was a terrible screech of metal on metal as the hull scraped a large chunk of dead starship.

"Come on, find some room!" said Joker tightly.

"Kinetic barriers at forty per cent," warned EDI.

"Rerouting non critical power. This is going to hurt!"

I struggled over to where Jack was sitting, hugging her knees to her chest and staring upwards, listening to the bangs and crashes outside. I sat down beside her and put my arms around her shoulders, intending to weather the storm by her side. She leaned her head against my chest, not saying anything. She didn't need to. We didn't need to speak to know what the other was thinking.

"Damage report!" I heard Joker demand of EDI.

"Kinetic barriers stable at thirty five per cent. No significant damage."

"Take the helm EDI, and keep it slow. See if we can avoid any more attention. Commander? You'd better get back up here."

"We're about to clear the debris field," added Miranda.

"Come on," I said to Jack. "Let's get up to the Bridge."

**Shift**

"There it is," said Miranda softly. "The Collector base."

The thing that had been haunting my thoughts for months...finally within reach.

"See if you can find a spot for us to land without drawing attention," I said to Joker.

"Too late," he replied, looking at a screen. "Looks like they're sending out an old friend to greet us!"

We watched as the familiar silhouette of the Collector ship disengaged from the massive station, and drift out to meet us. The same ship that had been dogging us for months, the ship that had attacked Horizon. That ship that had taken my crew and killed the crew of the first Normandy. I wanted to see it fall out of the sky. I wanted to see it burn.

"Engage!" I roared.

"Commander, you really have to lay off the Jean-Luc Pic -"

"Shut up Helmsman! Garrus, do you copy?"

"Loud and clear Commander," replied the turian from his position at the main gun batteries. "Calibrations are perfect."

"Time to show them our new teeth. Fire the main gun!"

The beam of light that streamed away from the Normandy and struck the Collector ship dead on was one of the most beautiful sights I had ever seen. It was quickly replaced by the sight of the Collector ship's hull glowing red and then catching fire. Significant chunks of the ship broke apart and began to float away.

"How do you like THAT, you sons of bitches!" Joker and I exclaimed in unison, word-for-word. Miranda and Jack were giving us bemused glances.

"Get in close and finish them off!" I ordered. The Normandy leapt forward, avoiding the Collector ship's retaliatory shot. Joker's hand hovered a millimeter above the firing pad.

"Give them hell, girl!" he exulted, punching it a second later.

The Thanix fired again, this time at a much closer range. It ripped right through the heart of the Collector ship, causing a massive explosion. As we watched, more explosions were set off, all around the ship. The goddamn thing was breaking apart.

"Look out!" screamed Miranda. The Normandy was being buffeted by the shockwave of the explosion.

"The mass effect field generator is offline!" yelled Joker in horror. "EDI, give me something!"

"Generators unresponsive. All hands brace for impact," said EDI blandly.

Joker wrestled with the controls, trying to maintain some semblance of stability. The Normandy slammed into a jutting spar at top speed and the impact knocked us off our feet.

"I'm a leaf on the wind...watch how I soar," muttered Joker to himself.

We rattled around, trying not to crash into each other. Jack flipped around in mid-air using her biotics and stood up as if she was on solid ground. She reached out her hand as I went rushing past and caught me, her augmented strength enough to haul me to my feet.

"Thanks," I gasped.

"No problem," she grunted, struggling to keep her balance. "Don't ask me to help the cheerleader though."

"I'm a leaf on the wind!"

"What the fuck does that even mean?" yelled Jack.

"Hey, you want to fly this thing? Fucking fly! I'll be in my bunk!" screamed Joker. There was a terrific CRUNCH as the Normandy hit the surface of the Collector station and went careening on for what seemed like ages. Then finally, mercifully, everything was still.

I gave Jack a quick kiss on the cheek and looked towards the pilot's seat. Joker was groaning, trying to pull himself up into a sitting position.

"Joker! Are you okay?"

"I think I broke a rib," he moaned. "All of them."

"Multiple core systems were overloaded during the crash," said EDI. "Restoring operations will take time."

"We all knew this was likely a one way trip," said Miranda, arms folded.

"Stop that line of thought, we're not going to die," I said. "We'll rescue the crew and blow this place to kingdom come."

"Well we're off to a good start," said Joker snidely, inspecting a damage report. "What's next?"

"How long can we stay here before the Collectors notice us?"

"I do not detect an internal security network," confirmed EDI after a moment's pause. "It is possible the Collectors did not expect anyone to reach the base."

"Well, if we're lucky their external sensors were hit like we were. They might not even know that we're alive," said Joker.

"I'm counting on it. Everyone! Report to the Briefing Room," I announced over the PA system.

I walked in, thoughts running through my head. The lights had dimmed because of the crash, and my team looked far more impressive in the shadows.

Every single one of them had opted in favour of wearing a new uniform or outfit that was of a similar colour to declare our shared purpose. We were no longer a bunch of deadly but disparate individuals. We had been forged by fire and blood into the most lethal team in the entire galaxy.

Garrus, one of my oldest friends. Sniper without peer, worthy of Spectrehood had fate taken a different path. He had been scarred by this conflict, both physically and mentally, but there was no one else I'd rather have watching my back.

Tali, my little sis. I had to stop thinking of her in that way now, she was worthy of becoming an admiral in the Migrant Fleet. She had grown so much from the scared quarian on her Pilgrimage two years ago. She believed in me and would follow me anywhere, even to the heart of this abyss.

Grunt, the krogan who represented a new hope for his entire species. The warrior who brought down a thresher maw. The young tankspawn who hung on to my every word, who watched my every action as I fought my way through a tidal wave of enemies. He had declared me his Battlemaster, claiming that I had no equal, and I'd be damned if I wasn't just a little proud to hear that.

Thane, the repentant assassin. Cold, methodical, unflinching, yet there was the soul of a thinker beneath all that awesome skill. We had formed a bond of sorts, after reconciling with his son. According to him I was the first friend he'd made in decades, and I was glad to be there for him.

Legion. A geth. A freaking geth, for crying out loud. I'd long learned not to pigeonhole or label any human or alien. I was slowly beginning to accept that this applied to synthetics as well. Legion had revealed amazing insights into the culture and thinking of the people I had tried so hard to eradicate the last time I was breathing. I had come to think of the geth not as enemies, but as a people in their own right. And if I played my cards right, vital allies in the war against the Reapers.

Mordin, the mad scientist. So brilliant, so affable, so inventive. All his knowledge and intelligence couldn't help him come to terms with one of the most heart-wrenching moral conundrums any sentient being would ever have to face. I had listened to him as he struggled to come to terms with the ramifications of his actions, and I would help him in whatever he chose to do in the future.

Jacob, in whom I was quickly beginning to trust. He was always straight with me, always honest and above board, and never questioned an order or talked back. He seemed glad just for the chance to serve with me, and I found myself thinking that the Alliance had suffered a major loss when Jacob became fed up with their red tape.

Samara, the millennia old justicar. She had interrupted her endless quest to serve and fight by my side, to lend all her power, wisdom and experience to my cause. I was grateful for her help and advice and strength. Even though her daughter's screams were still locked within my head, the fact that Samara was with us gave me renewed confidence.

Kasumi, the young thief who had become one of the people I frequently relied on to get the job done. She was always upbeat, always optimistic, a ray of sunshine in a dark verse. She signed on for the promise of riches and plunder and a favour repaid, but I'm pretty sure she stayed on because of me. And Jacob.

Miranda, my right hand and XO. Sure things didn't work out between us, but she was the best thing about Cerberus. She could be prickly and relentless and knew little about tact and diplomacy, but the fact was she was perfect and strove hard every day to achieve perfection in whatever she did. Hang ups be damned, she was the best damn lieutenant any officer could ever have.

Jack, the woman I loved. The girl who was broken, and slowly but surely beginning to become whole again. All that biotic fury contained in one slim form that made my heart beat faster whenever I looked at her.

And Zaeed...well, Zaeed was only in it for the money. But hell, at least he was open about it.

"This isn't how we planned it. But this is where we're at. We can't worry whether the Normandy can get us home. We came to stop the Collectors, and that means coming up with a plan to take out this station. EDI, bring up your scans."

A glowing holographic projection popped into the air above the table. It was an incredibly detailed schematic of the Collector base layout based on what EDI could scan at this range.

"You should be able to overload their critical systems if you can get to the main control centre here." A blue arrow pointed out the area she was referring to.

"That means going through the heart of the station. Right past this massive energy signature," noted Jacob.

"That's the central chamber," I said. "If our crew, or any of the colonists are still alive, they would probably be holding them in there."

"Looks like there are two main routes," said Jacob. "It might be a good idea to split up, keep the Collectors off-balance, then regroup in the central chamber."

"No good," objected Miranda. "Both routes are blocked. See these doors? The only way past is to get someone to open them from the other side."

"If we send a team down each path, they can keep the Collectors busy while someone else slips in through this ventilation shaft here," I said, pointing to the map.

"Practically a suicide mission," mused Jacob. "I volunteer."

"I appreciate the sentiment Jacob, but you wouldn't be able to shut down the security systems in time," said Miranda. She turned to me. "We need to send in a tech expert."

"It's your call Commander," said Jacob. "Who do you want to send into the shaft?"

I considered, thinking of the possibilities. But Jacob had said tech expert, and there was only one person I was going to turn to for a job as delicate and as vital as this.

"We need someone with tech skills to hack that security system. Tali? You're up."

Tali stood a little straighter. "I won't let you down," she said firmly, and I knew she meant every word.

"I know you won't. The rest of us will break into two teams and fight down each passage. That should draw the Collectors' attention away from what you're doing."

"I'll lead the second fire team, Shepard," volunteered Miranda. "We'll meet up with you on the other side of those doors."

"Not so fast, cheerleader," drawled Jack by my side. "Nobody wants to take orders from _you._"

"This isn't a popularity contest!" said Miranda irritably. "Lives are at stake. Shepard, you need someone who can command loyalty through experience."

Once again I considered the possibilities. Who could I send to lead the second team? Miranda was calm under fire, but Jack was right. She rubbed people the wrong way and I wasn't sure she could lead people who weren't inclined to follow. I next thought of Samara. The justicar had immense power, but I realised her experience consisted mainly of working alone. She would have no idea how to lead a team through battle. Zaeed seemed like an obvious choice, but then I remembered something about every single war story he'd ever told me. In all of them, he'd been the sole survivor. He had a propensity to get his team slaughtered, and I wasn't willing to risk that. In the end, there was only one choice to be made.

"Archangel?" I said, smiling at my old friend. "You're in charge of the second team."

Garrus nodded solemnly. He had held off all of Omega's bloodthirsty merc gangs with a handful of vigilantes, and damn near won. He would do just fine.

"Well, at least he knows what he's doing," conceded Miranda.

"Everyone, be careful out there. We have a pretty good idea of what we're going to be up against, but we won't know for sure. Keep calm and just do what you were trained to do. What you were born to do. You people are the absolute goddamn best this galaxy has to offer, and all that power is going to be aimed at a bunch of pitiful bugs. The Collectors are going to bleed_. _Let's go in and get our people back. Then we blow this fucking thing out of the sky."

I looked around, and saw in everyone's eyes a single, unified sense of purpose. We had come so far, done so much, survived the worst. We were going to win. No matter what it took.

Jack looked at me and smiled her feral grin. "Let's go, Jack. Let's go kill something."

She took my hand and led me out of the Briefing Room. I would follow her anywhere.


	13. Our First Date

**Chapter 13 – Our First Date**

**Collector Base**

We jumped from the Normandy's airlock, and took our first steps on the Collector base. The same feelings assailed me from when I was running around the Collector ship – a sense of deep, teeth-on-edge alien _wrongness. _The base looked like some nightmarish beehive, with things that looked like glass panels and incredibly sophisticated technology fused with walls that looked like they were made from packed mud. It was a H.R. Giger hell of a place, and one I would enjoy slaughtering my way through.

I ran over in my mind everything we knew about the Collectors. They employed efficient weapons based on unknown technology, but nothing we couldn't handle. They had scions and praetorians with fiendish biotic abilities, and those would be a little harder to take out. And of course their hordes of husks. The Collectors had abducted entire colonies. I didn't want to think about the number of husks they could create.

Garrus was leading his team away and I gave him a respectful nod of the head. We had asari justicars and drell assassins and renegade geth but it would be the former C-Sec officer who would command and I trusted that he would be up to the task. The bulk of my specialists would be going with him, the better to create their diversion. Escorting Tali through her dangerous journey in the vents would be me, Grunt, and Jack.

She saw my worried look as I watched Garrus's team disappear and grabbed my hand.

"Hey. They'll be fine. Leatherface will see them through. Let's just make sure Tali survives."

She flashed her teeth. "Killing countless Collectors on some suicide mission...awesome idea for a first date, Jack. You really know how to please a girl."

The idea was so ridiculous I had to laugh. "Most people watch a vid and get some dinner on their dates."

"We're not like most people, are we?"

I had to agree.

Grunt was looking at Jack and me with some confusion. "I don't understand," he rumbled.

"Settle down Cloverfield, the grown-ups are talking," needled Jack. "We'll let you tag along, but don't destroy the mood alright? Just shoot at anything that moves."

"That I can do."

We moved out, nerves on the edge, senses straining to catch the first hint of the enemy. Deeper and deeper into the base we went, until the bulging sacs in the ceiling and the melted-candlewax look of the walls and the floor began to seem normal.

"I'm inside the ventilation shaft, Shepard," said Tali, loud and clear over my headset communicator. "It's hot in here, but clear as far as I can tell."

"Good luck," I replied. Then I radioed Garrus. "This is Batman. Come in Robin."

I thought I heard a sigh, then the communicator crackled again. "This is Robin."

"Are you in position?"

"In position. Meet you on the other side of those doors."

Ok, things were going smoothly so far. About ten seconds in, but smooth nonetheless. Then a yell from Jack shattered that record.

"They've seen us!"

A group of Collector Drones were moving into position, and firing at us. Time to go to work. Since Jack and Grunt had the noisy rampage of certain death thing covered, I figured it was time to go sniper. I wasn't as good a sniper as say, Garrus or Thane or even Legion, but I could get in a headshot or two. The tactic was proving to be satisfyingly effective as he Collector Drones, their attention taken up by the best damn tag-team since chocolate and peanut butter, proved to be sitting ducks for my crosshairs.

Jack and Grunt were quickly becoming a lethal combination. Jack provided the biotic wrath and sheer destructive power. Grunt backed that up with his Fortification technique that made him damn near invulnerable, his regenerative abilities and his Claymore shotgun that tended to blow large, messy holes in whatever he pointed it at. They covered each other, always went for different targets, and left nothing standing. They were twin forces of nature and it was pure poetry in motion. Beethoven and da Vinci and Shakespeare had nothing on the art that those two created.

"I'm stuck!" cried Tali suddenly. "Something's blocking the pipe. Looks like some kind of gate!"

I looked around and saw a large heat exchange valve on the far side of the room. "Hang on Tali, I'll get it open."

"Hurry Shepard, it's getting hotter in here."

I left Jack and Grunt to their play and raced over to the valve. After gunning down a drone that sneaked up on me, I pulled the lever and the gate opened with a hiss.

"The gate's open. Moving forward!"

We encountered heavier and heavier resistance, with more drones flying in for each one we killed. I had just blown a hole in a drone head when the one behind him suddenly leapt into the air and arched its back as though it was suffering a seizure. It glowed and crackled with a strange yellow energy, and then it spoke directly to us.

"_**ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL. I WILL DIRECT THIS FIGHT PERSONALLY."**_

"Concentrate fire on that bastard!"

Jack and Grunt did as I ordered, but it became apparent that the transformed drone had erected a biotic barrier for extra protection.

"_**WE ARE HARBINGER. DIRECT INTERVENTION IS NECESSARY."**_

"Shut the fuck up!" yelled Jack, sending a shockwave of biotic energy at it. It sent the other drones flying, but crashed with little impact against the one calling itself Harbinger.

"Who's Harbinger?" Grunt asked me.

"Remember the fight on Horizon? Anyway I've seen this trick before, back on the Citadel with Saren. Harbinger's a Reaper. He's possessing the Collectors."

"So that son of a bitch is a Reaper? Let's teach it how to feel pain," snarled Jack.

God, I loved that girl.

We poured our fire into the transformed drone, and blasted it to pieces. We were a little shocked when the same thing happened again, however.

"_**THIS FORM IS IRRELEVANT."**_

I made a snap decision. "It'll just keep going round and round in one big circle jerk! You two, kill the rest of the group while I distract it!"

As I tried to break through Harbinger's barrier, Jack and Grunt slaughtered the rest of the drones. Then they helped me tear apart Harbinger on his own. Finally there was blessed silence.

"Okay, let's write that down in the Shepard doctrine. The next time we see Mister Brain Invader, that's how we deal with him."

"Shepard? I'm stuck again. Could you release the next valve?"

"Oh, yeah..."

I hit the next valve and Tali moved on again.

"Batman, this is Robin. We're encountering heavy fire. Hope you'll get those gates open on time."

"Roger that. Let's move!"

We hurried on, fighting more and more Collectors. Honestly, if it was anyone other than Jack and Grunt beside me, I'm not so sure we would have made it. But we had fought side by side for so long, we shared an understanding that was almost telepathic. I would take a bullet in the throat for Jack, and I couldn't look weak in front of Grunt. The two of them spurred me on to perform almost superhuman feats of agility, precision and endurance. And there was the fact that our skills complemented each other's so perfectly. The Collectors kept coming in waves but we beat them back again and again.

"Should be near the end now, there's one last gate blocking my way!"

"Hang in there darlin', I've got a ton of ugly between me and that switch."

"Hurry Shepard! Keelah se'lai."

I switched weapons to assault rifle, intending to blast my way through the mass of drones. But there were too many, and I'd used up my last grenade.

"Jack," I said, taking cover behind a wall. "Can you fire off one last shockwave for me? Tali's trapped in there."

Jack was doubled over, hands on her knees, panting heavily. She had been fighting and fighting, hardly catching a breath between targets. She lost herself completely in the heat of battle, running on pure adrenaline, mind blank of everything except death. But that kind of intensity took its toll and she was close to burnout.

She looked up at me, sweat pouring off her face.

"Just tell me...where to aim."

"Right there."

"For you," she gasped, and an arc of blue biotic energy surged like a freight train straight through the mass of drones. They were sent flying.

"Fuck yeah! Grunt, CHARGE!"

The two of us leapt out from behind cover and barrelled straight towards the heat exchange valve, trusting in our shields to save our lives. There were two drones directly in front of the switch and they raised their weapons when they saw me coming at them. Without hesitation I hit the floor baseball style and avoided their fire while shooting at them from the waist up. They collapsed, I slammed into the wall and hit the switch a second later.

"That's it! I'm accessing the gate controls now!" yelled Tali in my ear. The huge, smooth gates shuddered and began to creak open.

"We should go, Shepard!" roared Grunt, punching a drone so hard I swear its skull turned inside out.

"Where's Jack? JACK!" I screamed. But there was no sign of my convict.

"I'm going back for her!" I took off without a second glance. I ran, dodged gunfire mostly by sheer luck, and shot drones whenever I had a clear shot. I headed towards the wall I was previously hiding behind and found Jack out cold on the floor, blood all over her face. She had pushed herself too far to summon up the last shockwave I had asked for and knocked herself out.

Heart hammering in my throat, I put two fingers on her neck and almost collapsed with relief to feel a pulse. She was alive. But unless I did something, all three of us would wind up dead.

I slung Jack over my shoulders in a fireman's carry and dialled up my shields to their maximum strength and range. They would burn out after a few seconds, but those seconds were all I needed. I had to get to the gates.

I burst out running like my name was Wally goddamn West, zipping around the drones. Terror lent me strength and I weaved my way through the mass of black, praying I would make it.

Grunt saved us, that big beautiful ugly bastard. Without any regard to his personal safety he took a running leap and landed literally in the middle of a crowd of drones. At such close range, his shotgun decimated their ranks with each blast. It was enough of a distraction for me to reach the gates. I set Jack down on the floor and covered her with my own body, shooting from my own prone position in a desperate attempt to help Grunt.

"We're in position, we need this door open NOW!" I bellowed into my headset.

"Something's wrong, the door's stuck!" said Tali desperately, only inches away from me on the other side of the door, but a world away.

"Come on Tali, you can do it. I know you can do it. Get this door open," I said with a calm that belied the situation I was in. Grunt was being pushed perilously close to the edge of the platform and I could see more and more drones flying in. Jack was still unconscious.

"Got it!" she screamed, and the door slid open. I dragged Jack through it, made sure she was behind cover and went back for Grunt.

"Let's go, Grunt!" I screamed, firing continuously in the crowd of drones that surrounded him. Mercifully he heard my order and began doubling back to the now open door.

"Fall back!" ordered Garrus. His team had arrived right on time and were backing us up. "Lay down suppressing fire, don't let anyone through that door!"

Grunt and I made it, but it wasn't over yet. The big lizard shoved me out of the way and stood in the open doorway, roaring defiance at the Collectors outside and shielding the rest of us from their fire. Then I heard the unmistakeable sound of a rocket being fired.

"GRUNT!"

But before it could reach him, Tali worked her magic and the door slid shut. The rocket slammed into the closed doors, making them shake, but at least we were safe. For the time being.

"You all right?" I said to Grunt. He was bleeding from a dozen places and his armour was pitted and singed, but the fire in his eyes had not dampened one bit.

"Never better."

"Nice work Tali, I knew you wouldn't let me now. You too Garrus," I said wearily. The adrenaline rush was beginning to wear off. I went over to Jack's side, but she had woken up and was looking confusedly around at her new surroundings.

"Where the fuck am I?"

"We made it. We're past the first gate. Couldn't have done it without you," I said, then bent down and gave her a long, deep kiss before giving her a chance to reply.

"Hell of a first date, Jack," she said dazedly when I broke the kiss.

"The night's still young. The fun's not over."

"Commander," cut in Miranda urgently. "I think you need to see this."

**Shift**

We had arrived at the central chamber that EDI had pointed out to us not too long ago. We speculated that it would be where the Collectors were holding our crew and any surviving colonists. We turned out to be right.

There was a woman suspended in what appeared to be a containment pod, similar to the ones used by the Collectors on Horizon and witnessed by Joker during the Normandy hijack. It reminded me of fantastically ancient, prehistoric insects that were preserved in amber back on Earth, or Egyptian mummies in their sarcophaguses. Instead of some decaying corpse however, they were clearly the colonists who had been abducted during the last Collector attack. She was floating in some kind of greenish liquid and appeared to be unconscious.

"There's more over here!" cried Mordin. I looked where he was pointing and my heart leapt when I saw the faces of my crew. The Collectors had stashed them all in one spot.

There was a hiss of escaping steam, and to my horror the colonist's skin literally began _melting off her body. _Her eyes snapped open, and her mouth opened in a silent scream of terror. I couldn't hear anything, but it was clear what was happening.

"She's still alive! Get these people out NOW!"

I hammered away at the pod with the butt of my assault rifle, but the poor woman was disintegrating before my eyes. She hammered on the pod window with bloody fists, leaving slick trails of crimson all over the inside of the pod. There was a great gurgle, and what was once a young colonist disappeared down the bottom of the pod.

"Save the crew! Save the crew, goddamnit!"

Everyone was following my lead, trying to get the pods open. I wanted to sag with relief when some of them began to open, releasing the Normandy crewmen trapped inside. I saw Thane shatter the pod that held Kelly Chambers and help her out of it. Then I saw the pod containing Dr. Chakwas.

"Carolyn! Carolyn, hang in there!"

I slammed my rifle again and again into the pod, while Garrus dug his long fingers around the edge of the window and pulled with all his might. Finally, mercifully, the pod sprang open and Dr. Chakwas collapsed into my waiting arms. She appeared to be breathing, and none the worse for wear and I tearfully thanked God for this act of providence. I loved the doctor in the way a son loves his mother, as Dr. Chakwas had been for the rest of the Normandy crew. She among others had abandoned everything because she believed in me and my cause and if she had died I would have never been able to forgive myself.

"Carolyn, oh god, are you alright? Please, answer me!"

Dr. Chakwas blinked, and looked up at me.

"Jack?" she said dazedly. "You...you came for us."

I reached for her hand and held it tight.

"I'd never abandon you or any of the crew. Never."

I pulled her close and she sobbed, shaking with relief. I felt like doing the same.

"Thank god you got here in time," stammered Kelly. She had lost the look of wide-eyed optimism and her voice was low, quick, and full of fear, nothing like the Kelly I knew. "A few more seconds...I don't even want to think about it."

"The colonists, they were processed," said Dr. Chakwas quietly. "Those swarms of little robots...they melted down their bodies and pumped the liquid through these tubes."

Miles and miles of tubes criss-crossed the central chamber. They looked ominous and no one had a clue what they were used for.

"Whatever they're doing, it ends tonight," I swore.

"We've done well so far," said Miranda. "Let's hope we can finish the job."

I tapped my headset. "Joker? Can you get a fix on our position?"

"Roger that Commander," replied the Helmsman almost immediately. A good sign. "All those tubes lead into a main control room just above you. The route is blocked by a security door, but there's another chamber that runs parallel to the one you're in."

"I cannot recommend that," cut in EDI. "Thermal emissions suggest that the chamber is overrun with seeker swarms. Dr. Solus's countermeasures cannot protect you against so many at once."

"Conventional weapons are going to be useless," I muttered. "They'll tear us apart."

"Perhaps not," said Samara. "I might be able to generate a biotic field to keep them at bay. I won't be able to protect all of us, but I could get a small team through if they stay close."

"I could do it too," said Miranda. "In theory, any biotic could maintain this field. Shepard, who do you want to pick for the job?"

I looked at Jack, and she stared back at me.

"I want to do this," she said suddenly.

"You're not strong enough."

"Don't you dare tell me what I can or can't do, you fucker. I'm doing this. And I'll kill you if you say no."

"I don't care if you kill me, I don't want you to get hurt!"

"We all hurt, Jack. But at least I get to choose why this time."

I knew I was beaten.

"Jack and I will take a small team through the seeker swarms. Thanks for the suggestion Samara, but I want you with the other team to provide firepower for the diversion. Garrus will lead the second team as usual."

"No problem, Shepard, but could we use different code names other than Batman and Robin?" asked Garrus.

"No."

"...very well. We'll keep the Collectors busy while you slip in through the back."

"What about us, Jack?" asked Dr. Chakwas. "The crew and I are in no shape to fight."

"Commander?" said Joker. "We have enough systems back online to do a pick up, but we need to land back from your position."

"We can't afford to go back, Shepard! Not now!" cried Miranda, ignoring the dirty looks the crew was giving her. "The mission comes first."

"Shut up. They'll never make it without help. I'll send someone to escort you and the crew, Carolyn."

"Thank you," said Dr. Chakwas, pointedly ignoring Miranda.

"Dr. Solus? Kasumi? Could you two help the crew back to the ship?"

"_Mondai nai,_" said Kasumi, tipping me a wink. Mordin tapped his omni-tool.

"Joker? Need location of landing zone. Will meet you there shortly."

I nodded. "We've all got our assignments. Let's move out."

**Shift**

"Moving out!" yelled Jack. "Stay close if you want to live."

We were going to be fighting in cramped, close quarters. We had no access to Jack's biotic might. Bearing that in mind, I sent Grunt with the other team, where Garrus would appreciate his strength in fighting the Collectors. As much as I wanted to bring Samara to provide biotic support for Jack, I knew she could do much more as part of Garrus's team. In the end I decided to bring along Thane and Legion.

Despite not being a machine, Thane was actually more laconic than Legion. Both were crack shots and used to fighting their way out of tight corners. I hoped that would be enough to protect Jack as she navigated her way through the seeker swarms.

Jack's biotic field manifested itself as a large dome that surrounded us. It moved along as Jack did. Outside the dome however, bashing furiously against the barrier of energy, were millions of seeker swarm robots. It was clear to see that without the field, we would be covered in the bastard things in seconds.

"Garru...ere. Te...n...ositi...waiti...urther contact," came the message over my headset. The seeker swarms were apparently interfering with our radio communication.

"You ready for this?" I asked Jack.

"Let's go, Commander," she said grimly.

We had gone no further than a few paces when...

"_**ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL."**_

"Not him again! How many fucking times do we have to kill you?" screamed Jack at the possessed Collector drone. She dove for cover behind a pillar and we scrambled to keep up. "I can't fight back like this!"

It was all Jack could do to maintain the field, we would have to find some way to bring down Harbinger without leaving the protective bubble. I knew there was a reason I brought my best snipers.

"Go for the headshot, lads. Kill Harbinger last."

_Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack._

Every breath, a shot. And every shot, a kill. Collector drones were dropping like flies, preventing Harbinger from possessing any new fresh bodies. Then the three of us picked him apart together.

"All clear! Ready to move out, Jack?"

"Hell yeah."

We rushed forward, deeper into the Collector base. Suddenly Legion spotted something we hadn't in the nick of time.

"Detecting hostiles, 57.8 meters at a 98 degree angle from this platform's current location," it warned. "Hostiles appear to be mutated husks known as Abominations. Suggestion: Targeting said Abominations will cause it to explode violently, thus potential for havoc within enemy ranks."

"Legion me old china," I said, lining up the sights on my sniper rifle. "I couldn't have put it better myself."

"_**LEAVE THE DEAD WHERE THEY FALL. ONLY SHEPARD IS RELEVANT TO OUR INTERESTS. BRING HIM ALIVE."**_

"Not gonna happen, you son of a bitch!"

Legion was exploding Abominations with a beautiful thoroughness, always targeting the ones that would cause maximum damage to its fellows once exploded. One did so in close proximity to Harbinger and both of them blew up.

"Nice shot!"

Legion turned its big lightbulb of a face towards me, as if unsure how to respond.

"For god's sake, that was a compliment. Now let's move!"

We hurried onward. Jack was visibly straining to maintain the field now, walking almost bent double, sweat pouring off every inch of her body. But she gritted her teeth and carried on, and there was little I could do but to follow her lead.

"Oh dear. Scions," noted Thane, in the tone of voice one would use to describe something as inconsequential as a glass of spilt milk. There were a pair, with a ton of husks backing them up.

"Commander, I believe this would be the perfect opportunity to test the weapon I took off the battlefield at Horizon," said Thane.

"What weapon?"

"The Collector beam rifle," the assassin said, bringing it to bear. "I believe it will work well against Collector armour."

"Give it a shot."

Thane stood stock still for a moment, calibrating distance, angles, wind resistance for all I knew. Then he lifted the rifle and fired.

The scion didn't just go down. It _caught fire and blew up. _I jumped for joy at the sight. Mercilessly Thane turned the beam onto the other scion, and then the horde of husks. They flamed and died one after the other.

The beam rifle finally ran out of juice and Thane tossed it aside.

"Served its purpose," he pronounced.

"You did too Thane, that was fucking marvellous!"

A hint of a smile creased Thane's green features as he unlimbered his regular sniper rifle once more.

We hurried down the ramp leading to the control room door.

"Trying to...hold on," gasped Jack. "I can see the entrance...we need to get there soon!"

"Hang on Jack, please for the love of God hang on, I love you, I love you so much, please hang on, please," I pleaded, running by her side, my mind a whirl. All I could think about was getting Jack to safety. Jack staggered on, arms stretched out in front of her like she was trying to hold back a tidal wave. I knew the incredible pressure she was dealing with would feel similar.

"Hold on, we're almost there!"

"We need to vacate this area immediately, Shepard-Commander."

"Just a few more steps!"

We made it to the doors, and Jack spun on her heel to face the army of Collector drones that were running towards us. With a gargantuan effort she summoned a hammer blow of energy and let it crash outwards, using the field she was maintaining. The shockwave decimated the ranks of the drones.

"AAARRRGGGHH!" she screamed, letting all her rage loose in one biotic bolt.

The doors slammed shut behind us, and we were safe. Jack stumbled up to me and I wrapped her up in my arms. She clung to me and brought my lips down to meet hers. She tasted of blood and sweat and I had never tasted anything sweeter.


	14. Doing It The Hard Way

**Chapter 14 – Doing It The Hard Way**

"_We choose to go to the moon in this decade, and do the other things. Not because they are easy, but because they are hard. Because that challenge is one we are willing to accept. One we are unwilling to postpone. And one we intend to win."_

President John F. Kennedy

Rice University, September 12 1962

**Collector Station**

The doors slammed shut behind us, and we were safe. But I barely had time to take a breath before Garrus yelled in my ear once more.

"Batman! Do you copy?"

"I copy Robin. What's your position?"

"We're pinned down at the doors, we need them open now!"

Legion raced to the controls and the doors on the opposite side of the room slid open. Garrus and his team tumbled in amidst a storm of fire. The turian had been hit by half a dozen rounds, but the new armour I had gotten for him had thankfully taken the brunt of it.

"Garrus!"

He shook his head, and got to his feet. Battle-scarred though he was, and vigilante he might have been, but when the chips were down Garrus always got the job done.

"I'm ready for action, Shepard," he said, smiling that weird turian smile of his. I slapped him on the back and went to check on the rest of the group. They were mostly fine, with the exception of Jacob who had been shot in the arm, and Samara was visibly exhausted with the strain of continually using her biotic powers for prolonged periods of time. I gave the team five minutes to get their breath back., before calling in to check on Joker.

"Joker, are you at the rendezvous point? Have the crew arrived back yet?"

"I'm here Commander," came the reply. "Dr. Chakwas and the rest of the crew just showed up, along with Mordin and Kasumi. No casualties."

So far, so good. Now to keep this streak going.

"Excellent," said Miranda. "Let's make it count. EDI? What's our next step?"

"There should be some platforms that will take you to the main control console. From there you can overload their systems and set into motion a self-destruct protocol."

"What happens if they don't have one?" she wondered.

"Then we pull out all the wires we can find and hope that something goes boom."

"Ah. The scientific approach."

"Tali always says I have a PhD in making things explode, be a shame not to use it."

"Sir, you've got a problem!" yelled Joker suddenly. "Hostiles are massing outside the door. It won't be long before they break through!"

"A rearguard could defend this position and keep the Collectors from overwhelming us," I mused, looking at my team. They were tired, wounded, and sore. But they were still the most lethal force I had ever seen.

"Pick a team to go with you, Shepard," said Miranda. "Everyone else can bunker down here and cover your back."

"Jack, you're with me," I said without thinking. A slight expression of distaste crossed Miranda's face, and she mouthed something that looked like _of course. _I made a snap decision.

"Miranda, you're coming too."

"Excuse me?"

"Seriously?"

"Yes," I said to the pair of them, in a tone that brooked no argument. "The rest of you, stay here and hold the line. We'll need some time to get to that control console."

"I'm coming with you, Shepard," spoke up Grunt.

"No, you're not. You need to stay here."

"It wasn't a request."

I walked up to the big krogan. "Grunt, I need you to remain behind."

"And I need to follow my Battlemaster into battle."

"Grunt...you are the biggest, toughest gun I have right now. This is a critically important task that only you can get done."

"What am I, chopped liver?" complained Zaeed loudly. I chose to ignore him.

"The krogan who does not die for his Battlemaster is shamed in the warrior's eyes," said Grunt, as if reciting off the back of the card.

"Well that's just bullshit," I said. Grunt looked shocked, insofar as a krogan could.

"That was a piece of centuries-old wisdom from Warlord Patton himself!"

"Yeah? Well he ain't here. I am. And I'm telling you while it may be glorious for the warrior to die in battle, I'm not a warrior. I'm a soldier. And while you're under my command, you're a soldier too. The soldier doesn't worry about personal glory. He follows orders and gets the job done, and right now, I need that line held."

"But -"

"Grunt, you call me your Battlemaster and you act like you mean it and I am giving you a goddamn direct order. You will remain here under Garrus's command, you will follow his orders while I'm gone, and you do _not_ have the permission to get yourself killed! Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?"

Grunt pushed his face inches from mine, daring me to make a move. I didn't move one back and held his gaze. If Grunt was going to be the best fighter he could possibly be, he would have to learn not to constantly second-guess his superior officer.

"Very well, Shepard," said Grunt, after a long moment. I had gauged the response correctly. Krogans tended to respect humans who stood up to them. I had noticed it with Wrex, and now Grunt was doing the same thing.

"I'm to stay behind again?" remarked Garrus. "Seems like you don't want me around, Shepard."

I gave him a look.

"Relax, I'm kidding. I'll hold your damn line. But you owe me a beer."

"I'll get you a whole crate."

"Dextro-amino?"

"Nope, Miller Lite. Drink one and you'll explode."

"Screw you, Shepard."

"Kiss my ass, Scarface."

Garrus and I grinned at each other. I knew he would get the job done.

"Anything else you want to say before you leave, Shepard?" asked Miranda.

I looked at my team and tried to marshall my thoughts. So many different individuals, so many differing personalities and motivations and capabilities, all fighting for a single cause. For me. I felt just a slight twinge of pride at that fact.

"The Collectors...the Reapers. They aren't a threat to just us. They are a threat to everything. Everyone in the verse. That's what we're fighting for. Not just humanity, but everyone else in the damn verse. That's the scale. Now you lot might not shed a tear if half the galaxy were enslaved and liquified by the Reapers. But the Reapers don't do things in half-measures. When they come, they're going to extinguish every single last speck of life, right down to the baby born yesterday. We can't run, and we can't hide. All we can do is fight."

I took a breath and continued.

"It's been a long damn journey, and no one's coming out without scars. We win or lose it all in the next few minutes. Make me proud. Make yourselves proud. Make it so that even if you live for a thousand years or more, you'll look back on this day and say that this was your finest hour."

"Well said, Shepard."

"Hell yeah, Commander!"

"Worthy of my Battlemaster."

"So the Goddess wills."

"Bloody sodding right!"

"Acknowledged, Shepard-Commander."

"Amon-Kira, guide my hands."

"Keelah se'lai."

I turned to Jack and Miranda.

"Ready?"

"I am."

"Hell of a speech, Jack. Let's blow some shit up."

**Shift**

The platform we were on began to whirl away down an immense shaft to where we hoped the main control console was. We were flying right into the heart of the Collector base, and it reminded me of a blood cell hurtling down a vein. The alien architecture around us enforced the feeling that we were invaders in the body of some great cosmic beast with its visceral appearance, and the hundreds of tubes snaking away from us into the distance like the capillaries in an unthinkably huge circulatory system.

The platform suddenly stopped in mid-air as if held in place, and other platforms rushed in towards us. They were laden with Collectors of all kinds, drones and guardians and assassins.

"Here they come..."

The platforms slammed into ours and locked into place like the pieces of a giant tessellating puzzle and the Collectors opened fire as soon as they were within range. We blasted them right back and the game was on.

I had a reason for picking both Jack and Miranda to come with me, a method behind my madness. Not because I wanted to go in battle alongside two impossibly beautiful women, a childhood fantasy of mine that I'd finally achieved. Partly because I wanted to keep Jack safe, and the best way to do that was to keep her by my side. Without me she tended to get too reckless and throw herself in harm's way. Also because that I hadn't forgotten the murderous tension between them, and I hoped that it could be dampened by fighting along side each other.

But the main reason I brought the two of them along was because I had noticed that the platforms didn't feature the most basic of safety measures, like railings. It was simplicity itself for my biotic girls to reach out and fling the Collectos off the platforms to their certain deaths.

"_**ASSUMING CONTROL OF THIS FORM."**_

Of course, such tricks didn't work on Harbinger. But I actually welcomed the challenge. It gave me a chance to snipe him in the head personally.

"_**WE ARE YOUR GENETIC DESTINY. OUR POWER IS UN -"**_

"Boom! Headshot!"

"Is he going to possess every single goddamn Collector in this base?" wondered Miranda.

"I don't care if he is, he's still going down!"

Jack levitated one Collector and sent him barrelling into a bunch of other Collectors, sending them all flying off the platform. She wasn't even bothering with her shotgun, preferring to use her bare hands. Also, she could kill them with her brain. Miranda was getting more use out of her handgun, but she was following Jack's lead and using her biotics to shove the Collectors away as well. I blew up the head off the last Collector drone with a particularly nasty explosive round and hit the control panel of the platform to get it moving again.

"This is it. All the tubes lead to this spot. EDI, can you tell me anything about what they're used for?"

"The tubes are feeding into some kind of superstructure," replied EDI after a brief pause, as the platform continued its journey into the Collector base. "It is emitting both organic and non-organic energy signatures."

"What the hell does that mean?" muttered Jack.

"Organic and non-organic? That sounds familiar."

"Given these readings, the size of this superstructure is beyond any normal scale," said EDI. "Commander, if my readings are correct this superstructure...is a Reaper."

The platform had flown us up to the 'superstructure' that EDI was talking about. It hung suspended in mid-air, supported by all the tubes we had first seen in the central chamber connected directly to its body. It was made of some strange, dark metal that looked like a fusion of organic and inorganic materials, as EDI mentioned. But what grabbed the attention and caused our jaws to drop was that the Reaper superstructure resembled the very distinctive shape of a human.

A human skeleton, to be precise. Nothing below the pelvis, presumably the Collectors hadn't got that far yet. But a skull, a ribcage, half-formed arms...it was like looking at the corpse of a titan from Greek myth. But this wasn't a dead body. Quite the opposite. It was an embryo, a Reaper at the very beginning of its eternal lifespan.

"Not just any Reaper, a human Reaper," I whispered, staring at the monstrous thing. I couldn't look away.

"Correct," said EDI. "Shepard, the Collectors have processed tens of thousands of humans. Significantly more will be required to complete the Reaper."

"This thing is an abomination!" I couldn't let this live, not a second longer. I could not let this thing see the light of day, or walk upon a planet with good grass underfoot. Every single inch about it screamed its utter, utter wrongness, a deep and terrible sin against God and nature and humanity and everything I valued. It was like coming home to your bed and discovering a nest of cockroaches living in there. You felt like killing every last bit of it and cleansing it with fire to wipe the stain off your mind forever. I had to destroy this walking abortion, or its visage would haunt my already overloaded brain for the rest of my life.

"EDI, how do I kill the fucking thing?"

"The large tubes injecting the fluid are a weak structural link," she replied. "Destroying them will cause the structure to collapse, and the Reaper to fall."

I peered over the edge of the platform. The bottom was so far down I couldn't even see it. A fall from this height would surely cause a thing of that size to shatter into a million pieces. Then a familiar whirling sound caught my attention.

"Give us a moment EDI, we've got to take care of some old friends first!"

There seemed to be no end to the number of Collectors that Harbinger could throw at us. As soon as we killed one, another drone would fly up to take his place. Jack was screaming, hurling fluent curses as she sent wave after wave of biotic energy at the Collectors. Miranda was the polar opposite, coolness personified as she alternatively ventilated the Collectors with bullets or slammed them around like ragdolls with her biotics, all in grim silence. It went without saying that I was doing my part as well, must have racked up a four digit Collector body count with my assault rifle alone. We were dealing a constant stream of death, but we were three against an army. I had to end it fast.

I ducked behind a low partition and spun around to face the Reaper, trying with all my might not to look into its eyes. It may not have been fully alive or self-aware, but there was a definite spark of malevolent evil in those huge pits that could have swallowed a frigate. Instead I focused on the feeding tubes and aimed my sights there.

The tubes shattered and fell away from the body of the Reaper as my assault rifle blazed up and down. Those tubes had transported the liquified remains of tens of thousands of humans. Real people, people who were brave enough to leave the confines of Earth and settle the final frontier of space, reduced to little more than meat for an abomination. I was taking great pleasure in destroying them.

Behind me Jack and Miranda were proving the existence of miracles as they fought together as a team, Jack providing the brute force while Miranda cleaned up around the edges. There was no infighting, just a silent acceptance to do the job I had given them. I felt a surge of pride and fierce love for my convict paramour. She had learned to overcome her murderous impulses and focus on the bigger picture. It gave me hope that she was on the path to recovery.

Jack was achieving self-actualization and psychological healing in the middle of a battle against a mysterious hivemind alien race and the embryonic form of an intergalactic space monster. Not exactly what you would call normal. But like she said, we weren't like most people.

The Reaper lurched as the tubes tore away from it with a whip crack. There was a terrific screeching of metal as it began to fall away from its supports and plunge into the abyss below. I quickly took a peek over the edge, but couldn't see anything clearly.

The living horror was gone. Time to finish this.

"Shepard to ground team! Status report!" I yelled into my communicator.

"It's Thane," came the crackling reply.

"Thane? Where's Garrus?"

"He was knocked unconscious by a grenade blast. He's still alive."

_Thank God. _"The rest of you?"

"We are holding, but barely. A quick exit is preferable," said the assassin, again in a voice that held absolutely zero trace of urgency or fear.

"Fall back and head to the Normandy immediately," I ordered, then switched channels. "Joker? Prep the engines. I'm about to blow this place to hell."

"Roger that sir."

I bent down and released the catch on the main control console. A small access panel popped up, and I prepared to see what I could do to turn the base into a collection of randomised atoms floating in space.

"Uh sir? I've got an incoming signal from the Illusive Man. I'll tell EDI to patch it through."

Tim wanted to talk to me? Whatever the hell for? Whatever it was, he had to hurry.

Miranda's omni-tool lit up, and a holographic projection of the Illusive Man appeared in the air before me. Same expensive suit, same deep sunken eyes, same perfect hair, same traces of cigarette smoke hanging in the air around him. I'd been through hell while he'd kicked back in his office and probably enjoyed a nice martini or two. The perks of being the behind-the-scenes financial backer.

"Shepard. You've done the impossible."

"I didn't do it alone, and it's not over yet," I said, turning back to concentrate on the console. "I still have to destroy the base."

"Not necessarily," he cut in. "I'm looking at the schematics that EDI uploaded. A timed radiation pulse will kill the remaining Collectors, but leave the machinery and technology intact. This is our chance, Shepard. They were building a Reaper. That knowledge, that framework...it could save us."

"They liquified people, you sick fuck! Turned them into protein mush to feed their walking abomination! I'm going to destroy this base!"

"Don't be short sighted," said the Illusive Man, almost sneering. "Our best chance against the Reapers is to turn their own resources against them. Are you willing to throw away unthinkable advanced technology, technology that might be the only thing that stands between us and the Reapers, just because you're morally offended?"

"I'm not so sure," said Miranda quietly. "Seeing it first-hand...using anything from this base feels like a betrayal."

"If we ignore this opportunity, that would be a betrayal!" snapped the Illusive Man. He was getting a little worked up, the first time I had seen him do so. "The Reapers were working directly with the Collectors. Who knows what information is buried within this station? This base is a gift. We can't just destroy it."

"Listen to me," I said, leaving the console and walking right up to the hologram. "There is no we here. There is only me. I alone decide what's going to happen to this base."

"You can't be ser-"

"Yes I bloody well am. And another thing. This base is a _gift_? To whom, the galaxy as a whole or just Cerberus? Are you going to give whatever information I might find in here to the Council? Share it with the rest of the galaxy so they can defend themselves? You're completely ruthless. I give you the base and you'll be melting down vorcha to make your own Reaper."

"My goal is to save humanity from the Reapers, at any cost! I've never hidden that from you!"

"That's about the only thing you've never hidden from me."

"Imagine how many lives could be saved if we keep this base intact and use its knowledge against the Reapers! Imagine the lives that will be lost if we don't. You stand on the edge of history, Shepard. What you decide today will decide all of our fates. If you destroy this base you will be destroying the key to our survival as a species!"

The Illusive Man's words gave me pause. I thought about all the turning points in all the wars I had ever studied back at the Academy. A Union soldier finding Robert E. Lee's battle plans in a dropped cigar, and the North going on to win the Battle of Antietam. The British intercepting the Enigma machine, and using it to crack Nazi codes in World War II. The suicidal yet heroic charge of Captain Rogers at the Battle of Washington during the second American Civil War. The liberation of Shanxi by Admiral Kastanie Drescher from the turians. And of course, my decision two years ago to sacrifice Alliance forces to save the Destiny Ascension and the Citadel Council. Small incidents that sent immense ripples throughout galactic history, like the proverbial butterfly flapping its wings. Was I in danger of committing a grave oversight?

Then I thought about my mother. And my father. They were soldiers, but they weren't murderers. They weren't butchers. They walked the line between hero and villain every day of their lives and never fell off because they knew right from wrong. They knew when to follow orders and when to speak up, and they taught me to do the same. I thought of all I had seen of both the Reapers and Cerberus.

Eden Prime. Saren Arterius and his base on Virmire. Matriarch Benezia, Liara's mother. The horrors at the Noverian labs. The dead Reaper where I picked up the IFF. Time and time again Reaper technology had been proven to corrupt even the strongest of wills and noblest of intentions and turn good people into unfeeling monsters. And the Illusive Man already had the advantage of a head start in that department. He already had been proven to indulge in sick, twisted experiments all in the name of unthinking progress and a supremacist attitude towards humanity. Corporal Toombs on Akuze. Admiral Kahoku's dead body in a secret lab. Allowing the Illusive Man access to Reaper technology would be like giving a nuclear bomb to a toddler. It was a recipe for disaster.

"No matter what knowledge we might find, it's not worth it. We've seen what Reaper tech does to people," I said at last.

"Shepard, you died fighting for what you believed in," said the Illusive Man with desperate urgency. "I brought you back so you could keep fighting. Some would say what we did to you crossed the line. Some would say your resurrection is an abomination, a sin against nature. But look at what you've accomplished! I didn't discard you because I knew your value. Do not be so quick to discard this facility. Look at the bigger picture, and think of the potential."

He was comparing _me _to this Reaper base? Actually...he had a point. Bringing me back from the dead might have been a step too far for most people. But I was glad he had done it.

I looked past his hologram, and my eyes met Jack's. She stared into my eyes with the same fierce, defiant glare that she had used all her life. Only once had I seen that gaze turn into something soft and emotional, and only for a few impossibly sweet moments shared together in my cabin. The reason for that was because the Illusive Man had taken her and used her and broke her and turned her into the person she was today. She was beginning to heal, with my love and attention. But she shouldn't have had to be scarred in the first place. No one should have to go through what the Illusive Man put Jack through.

For all his promises, for all his assurances, for all his smooth talk and money and the admittedly strong fact that he had brought me back to life...the Illusive Man was still the son of a bitch that had hurt innocent young girls. Rogue cell or not, the project was initiated with his knowledge and approval. Our trip to Pragia had confirmed that. Giving in to his demands now would be a betrayal of the woman I loved.

I gave Jack a small half-grin, the kind that only she got to see.

"Would you like to tell Tim what we think of his offer, Jack?"

I would remember the delight that flamed in Jack's eyes for a lifetime.

"Hey, Illusive Man. Over here," called Jack. The hologram turned to face her.

"Do you remember me? My name's Jack. Or maybe you know me better as Subject Zero," she snarled, making the last two words a curse.

The Illusive Man looked worried. "I told you, the scientists at the Teltin Facility had gone rogue!"

"You see, I'm having a hard time believing you. Something tells me that if we hand over this base to you, in a few years time you'll be telling another bunch of suckers that the scientists at the Collector base had gone rogue, and you had no knowledge of it whatsoever. I ain't buying what you've got to sell. Those who never learn from history are doomed to repeat it and all that shit. So you take that offer and go fuck yourself. Find a nice bunker somewhere you can hide, because I'm coming for you and killing you myself."

"Shepard, why are you doing this?" the Illusive Man screamed. "Why are you letting her make the decision?"

"Probably because I'm in love with her," I said, relishing the look of horror in his strange eyes. "Didn't anticipate that, did you?"

"Miranda!" he yelled suddenly, turning to his most trusted lieutenant. "Do not let Shepard destroy the base!"

All three of us stared at Miranda, wondering what she was going to say. Push had come to shove. Would she still back the Illusive Man?

"Or what?" she replied. "You'll replace me next?"

"Well fuck me sideways, cheerleader," said Jack appreciatively. "You've got your head screwed on right after all. Maybe I won't kill you now."

"You're right Shepard," Miranda said to me. "Reaper technology is inherently dangerous. We can't take the risk of indoctrination."

"I gave you an order, Miranda!" howled the Illusive Man. I could see flecks of spit flying from his mouth.

"I noticed," she said icily. "Consider this my resignation."

"SHEPARD! Think about what's at stake! About everything that Cerberus has done for you! You ungrateful little son of a -"

Miranda cut the connection and flashed me a smile.

"Hell of a resignation, Miri," I said. I had seen miracles abound over the past few days, but this might have been the biggest one of all.

"Glad you liked it."

I turned back to the control console and with EDI's help, wired the reactor to overload. We had about ten minutes before the base would blow up.

"Let's move!"

There was a metallic roar, and before we could take another step, the skull of the human Reaper emerged over the edge of the platform.

"What the fuck?" we screamed, almost in unison. The thing must have crawled its way up the shaft while we were telling the Illusive Man to go fuck himself.

"We have to kill it Jack!" shrieked Jack, preparing a biotic attack. But the Reaper was massive! Bullets and biotic blasts wouldn't make a dent in its hide. I needed firepower on a scale that was off the charts!

Oh. Wait.

"Take cover!" I screamed. Jack and Miranda dove out of the way. Then I reached behind my back and unlimbered the one weapon I had been saving for in case of an emergency. Well it was looming over me, and the glass needed to be broken. Enter the Cain.

"Come on McCain you old bastard, don't fail me now," I babbled, feeling the barrel spin and watching the red warning light flash. At least I couldn't miss at this range.

There was a terrific jolt, and a missile speeding towards the Reaper faster than the eye could see...

_BOOM_

The Cain had taken out an entire platoon of geth, including a Colossus, with a single shot. I prayed it would be enough against the Reaper.

It rocked backwards, the round painting the entire area around us a brilliant orange. The impact was tremendous. I was nearly blown off my feet. But I couldn't see whether the Reaper had definitely gone down.

Then...before my despairing eyes...it raised its head once more, its jaws stretched in an eerie grin.

_I've taken your best shot. I'm still here, _it seemed to be saying.

"It didn't work!" screamed Miranda in terror, firing blindly at the Reaper.

"Fire the fucking thing again! Two nukes are better than one!" screamed Jack, doing the same.

I scrabbled at the barrel of the Cain and checked the fuel readout.

**Shift**

**One Week Ago**

"Well Commander, looks like we're done here," said Jacob with some satisfaction, wiping the blood of the last Blue Sun merc off his suit.

"Not yet," I said. "Scour every inch of this base for supplies."

"Seriously?" asked Zaeed. "We've got tons of shit locked up on the Normandy. Let's just head back."

"That's an order, Massani," I said, checking out another room.

"Yeah well I'm only going to follow those orders as long as you keep paying me. The second you don't..."

"The second Shepard doesn't, what happens?" demanded Jack.

"Well, that will be an interesting day, won't it?" drawled the old bastard.

"Commander, over here," said Jacob. "An ammunition stockpile."

"Let's see," I mused. "Grenades, heat clips for sniper rifles and assault rifles, heat-seeking missiles...hello, what's this?"

Jacob looked at what I was holding. "Explosive rounds, sir."

"Hmmm. Could they be modified to fit the McCain?"

"I'll have to see, sir. But the Cain's already fully loaded."

"Yes, I know. But it only has one shot, and then I might as well throw the bastard thing at my next target."

"The way it works sir, there won't be a next target."

"Can't be too careful Jacob."

"Right you are sir," he said. "I'll look at increasing the ammo capacity as soon as we get back on board."

**Shift**

**Now**

"Jacob Taylor, I really, _really _hope you did what I told you to do."

I needn't have worried. Jacob was a professional, and had followed my orders to the letter. McCain had another shot left in him.

I wanted to wipe that grin off the Reaper's face. I wanted to obliterate it from living memory.

"Burn," I whispered. Then I fired again.

The second round went directly into the Reaper's skull by way of its open mouth. Then it blew up from the inside.

The Reaper lurched backwards again. Its skull was on fire, and there were smaller explosions as the inorganic materials caught fire and blew up as well. Steam hissed from its broken joints. The Reaper threw its hands up, as if in a plea for mercy. Then it crashed back down the shaft once more.

The platform began to tip to one side as one of the Reaper's trailing fingers caught the edge and overbalanced it. To my horror, Jack lost her balanced, tumbled over...and went shooting off towards the edge.

I didn't think. I just acted. I flung myself after her, sliding down the platform on my belly, my arm stretched out as far as it could go, trying to catch her before she fell off the edge.

Our hands touched...then we broke apart again.

"JACK!"

She had reached the edge, and went over.

"NO!"

I tore past the last few inches, and swung my hand wildly, hoping against hope I had made it in time. Whether by luck or fate or divine intervention, my hand reached hers again. This time I did not let go.

I hauled her back onto the platform, my heart feeling like it had to burst. Jack was safe. That was all that mattered.

"You didn't let go."

"I never will."

A blast from the doomed Reaper shook the platform again, only this time overbalancing it from the other side. We began to slip and slide in the other direction, Miranda included.

Another platform had careened off its support and was hurtling directly at us. There was a terrific crash, and then darkness.

**Shift**

"Shepard! SHEPARD! Less than six minutes to detonation!" a female AI voice was yelling in my ear.

I tried to get to my feet, and realised a heavy metal panel was lying on top of me. With a huge effort, I tossed it off and looked around for Jack.

She was alive, and awake. So was Miranda. We had survived. But it wouldn't matter unless we got off the station in the next six minutes.

"Do you copy?" shouted Joker. "Come on Commander, don't leave me hanging. Shepard, do you copy?"

"I'm here Joker," I groaned. "Did the ground team make it?"

"They're all here sir, everyone's on board, everyone made it alive. We're all just waiting on you!"

There was an infernal buzzing, and a cloud of seeker swarms rushed our position, thick and black in a single seething mass. I knew it was time to get the hell out of there.

As we ran, I swore I could have heard someone speaking directly to me. The voice seemed to be coming from the swarms...from the shaft...from the very walls itself. I recognised it. It was the voice of Harbinger, the Reaper that had sworn to kill me.

"_**HUMAN. YOU'VE CHANGED NOTHING."**_

Ignore the voice. Ignore the swarms. Just run.

"_**YOUR SPECIES HAS THE ATTENTION OF THOSE INFINITELY YOUR GREATER."**_

Pump the legs, swing the arms. Remember all those football and soccer games in school. Remember all the route marches at the academy. Remember all those missions in N7. Just run.

"_**THAT WHICH YOU KNOW AS REAPERS ARE YOUR SALVATION THROUGH DESTRUCTION."**_

Huh. More Collectors with guns. It seemed a shame not to stop and kill them, but their death was approaching anyway. In five minutes and counting.

We ran through a long corridor that led to the rendezvous point. And just when I thought my legs couldn't carry me a step further, the most beautiful sight in the universe greeted my eyes.

The Normandy, flying proud. She was my girl and my home and my pride and joy. I wanted to go home. The airlock slid open, and I saw something else I thought I would never see. Joker was wielding an assault rifle. And he was shooting at the Collectors behind us.

"Come on, Shepard!" he yelled between shots.

Miranda was the first one to jump in, followed closely by Jack. I had lagged behind because I was wearing the heaviest armour. Then another far off explosion rocked the ground, and huge panels were dropping from the upper levels. One of them crashed into the platform that was nearest to the Normandy airlock, sending it spinning away. What had been a simple path to safety was now replaced by a yawning chasm at least ten feet wide.

It was too late to ask EDI to bring the Normandy closer. The Collectors were gaining on me. I ran to the very last bit of solid ground, and took a flying leap.

Leaping towards the Normandy. Towards Jack. Towards our life together.

I hit the edge of the airlock, and clung on with my arms.

Ignoring the spray of gunfire, Jack reached over and hauled me up into the Normandy, mirroring what I had done for her a few seconds ago. The airlock shaft slid shut, and Joker began to limp back to his pilot's seat as the Normandy wheeled away and prepared to haul ass.

"Detonation in ten, nine, eight -"

"Yeah, I get the gist of it EDI! Hold on!"

The Normandy arrowed out of the base as we counted down together. Right at the predicted moment, there was a flash so bright it seemed to light up every corner of dark space. Then the Collector base blew up.

"Go to hyperspace, go to hyperspace, we're gonna get caught in the shockwave!" I screamed at Joker.

"Alright, alright! I'm doing it now!"

The drive core lit up once more, and we were finally free of that accursed place.

**Shift**

I walked into the Briefing Room. EDI still hadn't repaired the lights, and it was dark and dim. Exposed wiring sparked in the corners, chairs were overturned. I went ahead and started the communication.

Once again the Room faded away, replaced by the mother of all decadent, luxurious offices. The Illusive Man was seated in his chair, putting out another cigarette. He must have smoked an entire carton since Jack told him to go fuck himself.

"Shepard, you are making a habit of costing me more than time and money," he growled, words vibrating with barely suppressed anger.

"Spare me the lecture, Tim. People died at that monument to evil. I'm not sorry it's gone."

"They will be the first in a long line of people waiting to die! The technology from that base could have secured human dominance in the galaxy for untold generations...against the Reapers and beyond."

"Human dominance or just Cerberus?"

"Strength for Cerberus is strength for every human!" he bellowed, standing up and advancing towards me. "Cerberus _is _humanity. I should have known you'd choke on the hard decisions. Too idealistic right from the start."

"You get what you paid for Tim. Should have done the research. Should have recalled who I was brought up by. Should have remembered who I was named for. Like him I believe in doing the right thing. I choose to do the things that are hard. Keeping the Collector base would have been the easy way out. But we're going to do things my way."

"If you think for one second that-"

"Shut up and listen. I'm not looking for your approval. Harbinger is coming, and he won't be alone. Humanity needs a leader who's looking out for them, but not at the expense of the rest of the galaxy. I'll save them all. And I won't let fear compromise who I am and what I stand for."

"Don't turn your back on me Shepard!" raged the Illusive Man. "I brought you back from the dead, I can send you back!"

"My name is Jack. Same as the woman I love. Funny huh? From both of us, with heartfelt sincerity and once more with feeling; go fuck yourself."

Joker cut the channel and I left the room with a smile on my face.

**Shift**

"Hey darlin'."

"Jack?"

I slipped my hands around her waist and pulled her close.

"What are you up to?"

"Just some repairs, we really need to get the cargo hold sorted out -"

"Hell now. Jack, the terror of a hundred worlds, working to help others?"

"Don't push it," she warned. I laughed.

"Don't you see?" I said, gently stroking her cheek. "You've come so far from when we first met. You've changed, and for the better."

"It's because of you," she said, the top of her head under my chin. "You looked past the surface, looked past the weapon and saw the girl crying inside. You're the first, Jack. It couldn't have been easy. I just wonder why."

"Don't be stupid," I said, kissing her. "You know the reason why. I love you. I believe in you. I trust you. I never take the easy way out. And I'll never let go."

Jack held on to me tight.

"I love you too."

We savoured the moment, not caring that the other people in the hold were giving us strange looks. Love was being with the person you wanted to be with, and not giving a damn what the rest of the universe thought.

"What now?"

"We'll need to find a way to stop the Reapers. Prepare the ground. Ready the fleets. Gather our allies. Wake them up to the threat of invasion."

"The Council are a bunch of assholes. They'll never listen to you."

"Maybe not. But I have to try. Anyway I owe you a real date. I'm thinking the Citadel."

Jack laughed. "You know what? I'd like that."

I led Jack away to the direction of the elevator. "My quarters. Come on."

"What do you mean Jack?"

"I'm thinking we need a little time to ourselves. Maybe a lot of time."

Jack looked troubled. "I'm not sure if I'm totally ready..."

"Really? Then I'll just have to be satisfied with this."

I brought my lips down to hers and we kissed.

"You'll wait for me?" she whispered, once I'd let her go.

"As long as you want. We've got the time."

"We've got the ship. We'll go everywhere. Do anything we want. Just you and me. Does that sound like a plan?"

"Wherever you want to go, I'll be right by your side."

She gave me that feral smile of hers.

"Fuck yeah. Let's go save the verse."

**Afterword**

Well, that's done at last! Fourteen chapters, over seventy thousand words...not bad for a little stream of consciousness I started just because I needed to write _something _to clear my writer's block while I was working on my Dragon Age fic all those months ago. I never expected this fic to be as popular as it has, and I am amazed and grateful that people like what I write. It's something I'll never take for granted. In case you're wondering, the title and the quote at the top refers to Shepard's tendency to make the hard choices. Not only blowing up the Reaper base at the expense of whatever advantage it could have provided, but also to fall in love with and accept Jack, which was a struggle every step of the way.

At the risk of sounding like an award acceptance speech (please don't take it that way) I'd like to acknowledge the contribution of the Mass Effect Wikia, which I turned to whenever I needed to check my facts. YouTube, which graciously provided me with the scenes from the game that I wanted to explore. The real JFK for being a terrific inspiration. Firefly and Joss Whedon and his wonderful, wonderful cast, whose fantastic lines I shamelessly ripped off and used in my story in the name of loving homage/tribute. Browncoat for life. And of course the wonderful people at BioWare, whose excellent writing and character creation inspired me to follow in their footsteps in the first place.

Finally, you, the reviewers. You guys are the ones who took the trouble to tell me what you felt about the story, and your praise and encouragement are worth more than I can say. Thanks to ClarkesLaw, Ledilettant, Charbear, Malaika Nina, Noobbody, Angua, Bahumat Knight, bandgsecurityaw, Chencheya, almostinsane, bharned1, CloudGazer15, LTFran, ccryder, bloodlust002, chapellefan, NightmareKira and deejaymcknight. I'm very grateful for what you have done.

To all my readers, thanks for taking the time to read my work. I really appreciate it.

Incidentally, if you're wondering whether this fic is done, well it isn't. I'm just categorising it as 'complete' for the time being. There are chapters forthcoming detailing the interaction between Jack and Jack and the crew and the rest of the verse. There might even be new enemies lying in wait. Their relationship will deepen and progress, like all relationships. And I know I promised somebody a scene where Jack brings Jack home to meet Momma Hannah Shepard.

Once again, thank you all and please keep reading. You might even like to check out some of my other fics. Take care, and remember that they can't take the sky from us.

- Finn Solomon 5 August 2010


	15. 2 Steps Forward, 1 Step Back

**Chapter 15 – Two Steps Forward, One Step Back**

**The Citadel**

There's a simple rule of thumb that you need to know about the Citadel. The high levels are for the movers and the shakers. The lower levels are for the rest of the verse. Generally you either need to be famous on a galactic scale, have a seven figure bank account or at least know the people who do to walk the upper levels of the Citadel. Seeing as how I qualified on the first two criteria, I was free to go wherever I pleased. After we'd survived the hell that was the Collector station, I made a beeline for the Citadel.

As insane as it sounded, we had succeeded in our mission to blow up the Collectors, and came out more or less unharmed. Every specialist I had recruited had made it through alive. We'd even managed to rescue most of the Normandy crew before they were broken down into raw sludge to build the next Reaper. I had given the order to enter the Omega 4 relay with the eternal soldier's hope pounding in my heart. No one left behind. And by some miracle, we had done it.

Things were a little different since the last time I'd succeeded in saving the verse, however. For one thing our mission didn't take place on the galactic capital, recorded by millions of news cameras to beam the breathtaking events directly onto the extranet. No doubt followed by every sentient being in the verse. The Collector mission was real down and dirty black ops classified records stuff, and it mostly had to deal with human colonies. Turns out the rest of the galaxy doesn't really care as long as it's not their own species being vaporised.

I wasn't expecting any big celebration. I was still persona non grata with the Alliance, and I figured the Illusive Man had already placed a titanic contract on my head because I might have ticked him off just a little. As in telling him to go fuck himself and blowing up the station full of wonderful Reaper tech and toys that, had he been given access, would have allowed him to grab the rest of the verse by the balls. And I got the feeling Tim was precisely the kind of guy who got mad if he wasn't allowed to grab someone by the balls.

So there I was, between a rock and a hard place, walking a tightrope, cast out into the cold, with every hand turned against me. It was a little disconcerting, to tell you the truth. I was leading life on the flip side for once. I was learning what it was like to be hated and feared, and distrusted everywhere I went.

In fact, I was learning what it felt like to be her.

Despite their earlier misgivings the Council had reinstated me as a Spectre, and I had to at least try to warn them about the coming invasion. And Anderson deserved a report as well, not because he was my former officer or a Councillor, but because he was my friend. I had important things to do and important people to see. But first, I had something even more important to do, something that came even before a top secret meeting with the galactic heads of state.

I was lounging in an armchair, listening to some music with my omni-tool. Jacob had kindly provided me with some experimental human rap/hip-hop fused with asari string and turian beats, and it was pounding my eardrums something fierce. A shadow fell over my lowered head and I looked up, switching off the tool.

"So? What do you think?" Jack asked, almost nervously.

Here's what you need to know about Jack. I'll give you the summarised version.

Appearance: Short, slim, bald human female. Small chest, a cute rear despite her narrow hips (compared to Miranda at least, but for the love of God don't tell her I said that). Ridiculously attractive, nonetheless. Every inch of available skin covered with tattoos.

History: Abducted by Cerberus as a young girl, experimented upon to create the ultimate human biotic. Suffered prolonged mental and physical torture, broke out and embarked upon a life of crime before being captured and running into me.

Body Count: In the quadruple digits.

Language: Foul. Has learnt the most profane curse of almost every language spoken in Citadel space.

Personality: Acerbic, acidic, biting, cutting, prickly, a total bitch. Doesn't like people, or animals, or vegetables and minerals while you're at it. Her idea of a good time is to go thresher maw hunting. Merely wishing her a good morning is enough to put you on her kill list.

But the thing about Jack...the most important thing you need to know about Jack...is that I'm in love with her.

She had tried on about a dozen different outfits while I sat in the chair, bored out of my mind. The asari sales assistants had nervously retreated to the far corner of the shop, and were glancing at us whenever they dared. They were used to attending to rich old ladies and rich young girls and their equally rich husbands and boyfriends, not an ex-con and a disgraced Spectre. Only by being my most charming did I manage to persuade them not to call C-Sec when Jack had barged in and started lifting things off the rack without so much as a word.

She was wearing tight bluejeans, which I liked because it showed off her ass pretty nicely. Hell, what could I say. Matriarch Aethyta and I shared the same tastes. The jeans were cinched with a big black belt and had kneepads and straps all the way to the boots, which were big, heavy-duty, steel-shod affairs. Those boots weren't made for walking, they were made for maiming. Jack could walk through lava and out the other side unscathed.

Further up she was wearing a tight black tanktop that showed off her flat, toned, inked-all-over midriff. Over that she had thrown on a little vest/jacket that she'd left unzipped. Black, of course. She had black armbands on her right arm, and a glove that extended all the way up to her elbow. Curiously enough, there wasn't a matching set on her left arm. To complete the look she had a black choker around her neck, and mirrored shades.

"Well?" she demanded, a little self-consciously.

"Hmm. Turn around."

"What? Why?"

"Just do it, would you?"

Jack frowned, but did so anyway. The old Jack wouldn't have thought twice about ripping off my head with her biotics. We were making progress. I kept silent, taking in every detail.

"What the hell are you looking at?" she asked at last.

"I was right," I said, with considerable satisfaction. "Your ass really looks amazing in those jeans."

Jack flew at me with a roar and I toppled backwards in my armchair with a crash, laughing hysterically. She pummelled me with her fists, but she wasn't really used to fighting hand to hand and I caught her wrists easily. She stared into my eyes and finally, cracked a grin.

"Moron."

"I thought we weren't going to be one of those couples with the unbearably cute names for each other."

"Jack, one more word outta you and I rip your head off."

"That would be a severe drawback."

"For you, definitely."

"Nah. For you. Because then I wouldn't be able to do this."

I tilted my head up a little and gave her a kiss. She returned it and soon we were making out like a couple of teenagers on the floor.

"Um, excuse me?"

It was one of the asari sales assistants, having evidently been urged to interrupt our impromptu liplock session by her colleagues, who were hovering in the background. We both turned our heads to look at her.

"Are you...satisfied with your selections, miss?"

"Well I was going to ask the jackass his opinion, but he can't control his damn mouth for two damn seconds. It's like a mental illness."

"Hey, I said I liked it."

"No you didn't. You totally perved on me, you fucker. I'm still going to kick your ass."

"Alright. I like it a lot. You look really, really cool. Like sort of underground punk whatever."

Jack looked at me pityingly. "Is that the best you can come up with?"

"Yeah, pretty much. Unless I can check out your ass again."

"Not an option!"

"Then I'm out of compliments."

Jack got up and brushed herself off. "I think it's awesome anyway. I'll take it."

"You will? I mean, wonderful. How would you like to pay?"

"Hell if I know. Never exactly paid for things before. Ask Spectre Shepard, he's got the cash."

The sales assistants looked at me again. Then realisation hit them.

"Shepard? You're the Shepard!"

"That's me."

"I didn't know you were still alive!"

"We thought you died fighting the geth!"

"Off the mark. I'm back now. Just off to talk to the Council. Classified stuff, very hush hush."

The asari exchanged various thrilled glances. Then one of them led me to the front of the store, where there was a little datapad.

"Could you record an advertisement for us, sir? We would be happy to give you a discount now and for future purchases."

"I don't think so -"

"Here's the bill, by the way."

"- ah. Hmm. That's quite a sum."

"We offer nothing but top quality garments."

I wanted to give Jack a reproachful look, but she had already left the store.

"Alright, alright, I'll do it. How do I...speak into this thing? Okay. Ahem. I'm Commander Shepard, and this is my favourite store in the Citadel."

The asari pressed a button and smiled. "Got it. Thank you so much, Commander. I hope you'll visit us again soon."

"A pleasure," I said, my voice somewhat muffled by the armloads of bags.

"I'm impressed, Commander Shepard," said another assistant, a salarian. "Not many people would spend so much on just a few outfits."

"Hell, you know how it is. Boyfriends are boyfriends whether you're human, turian or salarian eh?"

"So, she is your girlfriend?" he asked. "Forgive me for being forward sir, but she seemed a little...forthright."

"So she is. Our relationship's kinda problematic. But what love ain't?"

Smiling to myself, I walked out of the store.

**Shift**

"Hey wait up! Slow down Jack."

She turned around, and smiled. I must have looked pretty stupid trying to balance all the bags and boxes on top of each other while running. I transferred all of them to my left hand so I could hold her hand with my right.

Jack had this really, really amazing smile that I loved to see. It seemed to light up her whole face, softening her usually harsh expression and demeanour into something warm and feminine. The great thing was that she was doing it more and more, in the last few days we had spent together.

We hadn't had much time to ourselves, between making emergency repairs to the Normandy and plotting a course for the Citadel. An hour or two, snatched when we should have been working on the hull. Eating a meal together with the rest of the guys. Jack had gotten better about social contact. She still didn't like to start conversations, and her personal space radiated several miles from her actual position, but at least she could eat in the presence of others as long as I was there. I wanted her to eventually do the same even if I wasn't around.

When we were alone however, we never actually seemed to do much. Jack was still...uncertain about the subject of sex. I understood, realising sex had been used as a weapon against her so many times it had lost its original meaning for her. I told her I was willing to wait until she was completely ready, whenever that may be. Even if it was never.

Yet I enjoyed our time together. Jack curled up in my lap, my arms around her, cuddling close. Sometimes we talked, but we were just as likely to sit in silence, enjoying each other's warmth and company. Sure the outside world had problems aplenty, but they didn't seem quite so urgent when we were together. It gave me the chance to rest my tired mind and battered body, and just take in the silence and the peace. As for Jack, I think she liked being able to relax in one place without worrying if someone was going to hurt her. Because I was there by her side now, and anyone who wanted to do that was going to have to go through me first.

Still, I had promised her a real date, once we'd reached the Citadel. A nice, normal outing. Not to say that our first date hadn't been a major success. It had taken place on the Collector station and we blew up the nasty bugs side by side. That was going to be tough to top, but I wanted to give it a shot.

"This is different," she said, holding my hand and walking with me. To any observer we would have looked like just another human couple taking a stroll around the Presidium's Market District. I liked that. Our lives were by no means normal, and it was important to have some of it now and again.

"Is different good?"

"I – yeah. I suppose."

"How exactly?"

"For instance I wouldn't have paid for these," she said, gesturing to her new clothes. "Used to be I'd just take what I wanted and run."

"But then you wouldn't get to walk with me. We'd have to run and hide from C-Sec."

"Why do we have to hide? Why can't we fight?"

"Because that's what we did on our last date, and I want this one to be different."

Jack laughed. Again, this was something she didn't do often, and was slowly beginning to change. Before Jack had always laughed sarcastically, or in a frenzy as she tore Collectors apart with the force of her biotics. It was encouraging to know she was still capable of doing something nice and normal like laughing.

"We've got the whole day to ourselves, right?"

"Yeah."

The fate of the galaxy could wait. The four most politically important people in the verse could wait. I was going to show my girl a good time.

We wandered slowly down the walkway, taking in the sights. The Presidium always put me in mind of one of Earth's richest cities, like New Calcutta or the Singapore Interplanetary Spaceport. Clean air, flowing water, everything gleaming and sparkling and clean as a whistle wherever you looked. Trees planted in orderly rows, people walking sedately down the carefully arranged paths. The Presidium was the very symbol of the Citadel's commitment to order and civility.

As we passed by several people, it seemed to me as though they quickly hushed their voices and hurried on, looking back at us over their shoulders. I felt my heart sink. According to Anderson the Council had done their best to portray me as some kind of deluded maniac in the two years following my death. Things couldn't have gotten better once they had learned of my connections to Cerberus.

I hadn't been paying much attention to the news. I got the feeling that if I did I'd just end up feeling impotently furious at the way the networks and media corporations have been tearing down my name. I wasn't the Saviour of the Citadel any more, just another deranged individual. Two years was a long time in politics, and it was child's play to turn the galaxy's greatest hero into its next big joke.

Jack must have noticed how restless I'd gotten, because she gave my hand an extra squeeze. Without saying a word, she drifted a little closer to me.

"Let's get out of here," she said to me.

"Exactly what I was thinking."

I led her over to a restaurant that I knew well from the previous times I'd been to the Citadel. It was a quiet, out of the way place, not too pricey and it specialised in Earth recipes. I ordered an ice tea. Jack wanted every appetiser on the menu plus two main dishes. Biotics tended to be able to eat more than they weighed.

"Is it always this difficult?" I asked, rattling the ice in my glass.

"What is?"

"Being hated. Being feared. Having people look at you like some kind of criminal."

Jack looked puzzled. "I'm not the best person to answer that, Jack."

"I would have thought you'd be familiar with it."

"Yeah, but for me I grew up with it. Every single day. There never was a fucking time when I _wasn't _hated and feared. I never had to deal with what you're going through."

That was oddly perceptive, coming from Jack. "Huh. You're right. I didn't think about it that way."

"Y'see Jack, it got to the point where I couldn't give a fuck what anyone thought of me. All I cared about was whether they were going to kill me or if I was going to kill them."

"It's a little jarring for me," I said, after taking a sip of tea.

"Of course it is," said Jack. "Be honest now – you've been popular your entire life, haven't you?"

"Well I -"

"Don't lie to me Jack."

"I won't."

"Popular kid? Prom king?"

"...yeah."

"I bet you were the same in the military as well."

"Yeah. I was always the guy everyone was friends with. Won the best cadet award and everything."

"There you go," said Jack. "Hero of the Skyllian Blitz, hero of the Citadel...you were a walking god. Hell even I didn't think you were full of shit when I saw you on those vids. There was something about the way you talked. People knew you were genuine."

"You've seen me before?"

"How could I not? Your big shit-eating grin was plastered all over the extranet after you blew up that Reaper."

"Really. So, what was your first impression of me?"

Jack laughed. "That you were too good to be true...but somehow you were. I don't know Jack. Something about you makes people want to trust you. You were born for politics."

"So how come no one trusts me now?" I asked, feeling a little deflated.

"You should know better," said Jack dismissively, starting on her first appetiser. "The media panders to the lowest common denominator, the fucking idiots. It suited them to build you up while you were alive. Then it suited them to tear you down after you wouldn't shut up about the Reapers."

"It always comes down to the Reapers. Why can't people just open their eyes?"

"Because they're fucking idiots. It doesn't suit them to believe in outer space monsters coming in to eat their families. They want to believe that everything's going to be just fine. So they're going to ignore everything that doesn't fit into their little bubble, even if it's someone like you saying it."

I finished my drink. "It just feels weird not being taken seriously. I've had people listen to me all my life."

"Welcome to my world," said Jack. "I've been hunted and hated pretty much my entire life. You haven't. You'll have to get used to it."

"Then I guess you'll have to teach me how."

I sat back and watched as Jack continued to eat steadily, packing away food that would have choked men twice her size. I thought about what she said. We were two of a kind now. No one in the verse to depend on but each other. Somehow I had to change the tide of galactic opinion, convince the Council to listen to me, and prepare the verse for an invasion they did not believe in. All the while running from possible assassination attempts from Cerberus, from the Shadow Broker, maybe even from the Alliance. I couldn't trust anyone now.

But I still had the crew. And I still had my ship. That was all I needed. Also, I had Jack. She would do anything for me because I would do anything for her. One lonely little band in a hostile verse.

It was then I realised I wouldn't have it any other goddamn way.

"Commander Shepard. So the the tip was right after all."

I looked to see who had spoken, and my lip curled in an instinctive display of revulsion. It was a tall, dark woman, with black hair that ended in a professional cut level with her chin. But what caught my attention was the little floating camera drone by her side.

"Khalisah binte Al-Jailani," I said, with just a hint of a sneer in my voice.

"So the rumours were true. You're not dead."

"Sorry to disappoint." I was once again fighting the urge to knock out the reporter with one swing of my fist, just like the other two times I had ran into her. I stayed my arm though. Call it a moral high ground thing, or call me a pussy if you like. I wouldn't hit an unarmed woman for doing her job. Even if that job entailed slander.

"Commander," she said, her voice sounding more professional. The camera drone was shining a light directly in my face and I knew my words were being recorded. "Do you still stand by these statements you made of a 'Reaper' invasion?"

"Yes," I said, through gritted teeth. She had said the word 'Reaper' in a deliberately exaggerated manner, no doubt doing her best to make me look like a fool. In my mind's eye I saw millions of viewers laughing fit to burst at me and I silently cursed them all.

"Despite countless experts and scientists giving testimony to the fact that the so-called Reaper attack was actually a geth warship?"

"Sovereign was a Reaper. The galaxy needs to prepare itself for the threat of invasion."

"Without evidence? Are we supposed to just take your words at face value, Commander Shepard?"

I glared at her. "I will be presenting my findings to the Council later -"

"And what about these serious allegations that you have links to the infamous terrorist cell, Cerberus?"

"I'm not -"

"The extremist organisation involved in illegal experiments and acts of violence?"

"I've never -"

"What do you have to say about your dishonourable discharge from the Humanity Systems Alliance Navy?"

My eyes widened. I hadn't heard anything about a dishonourable discharge!

"What?"

"Do you mean you know nothing about this, Commander?"

"I...I..."

"It seems a shameful end to a once glorious career. First being kicked out of the Spectres, and now even from the human military. Do you have any thoughts on – ARGH!"

Khalisah was rudely interrupted in the middle of her tirade, thanks to Jack. She had jumped out of her chair, overturned the table sending plates and glasses and food crashing everywhere, and had one hand wrapped around the reporter's throat. Even though she was bigger than Jack, my little hellraiser was lifting her off the ground due to the strength of her biotic powers.

"Say one more word bitch, and I snap your neck," snarled Jack. Khalisah struggled, pulling at Jack's arm with both hands, but it was futile. The camera drone had swung away from me and was now busily recording the scene.

"No!" I yelled. If Jack murdered Khalisah we wouldn't get two steps before being gunned down by C-Sec. I rushed to her side and tried to pull her away. "Let go!"

Jack faced me, eyes blazing. "What the fuck's wrong with you, Jack? She's been twisting everything you said! Let me kill her!"

"You can't do that! Let her go now!"

I tried to prise open Jack's grip. She wasn't expecting me to intervene and let go suddenly. Khalisah dropped to the floor and wheezed in pain.

"Don't you _ever _tell me what I can or can't do!" Jack yelled at me.

"Are you out of your goddamn mind? You can't just kill someone on the Presidium!"

"Nice little girlfriend you've got there, Shepard," said Khalisah malevolently, still rubbing her neck. "I seem to remember you taking another girl to this very same restaurant the last time you were here? Chief Ashley Williams?"

Jack took a step backwards. "You brought your girl here? This was her place?"

"What are you talking about Jack, of course I know -"

"You were with her here, and you still brought me here?"

She turned on her heel and stormed off. I started to go after her.

"Jack, wait!"

"Fuck off!"

I stopped and watched her go, arms hanging limply by my side. I felt as though someone had kicked me in the gut.

Khalisah muttered something, and her camera drone switched off its light. Her eyes were glowng with happiness. I'd just handed her the scoop of the century.

"Thank you _very _much, Commander," she said sweetly.

My fists clenched involuntarily. My nostrils were flaring and my breath was coming in short, sharp bursts. Just one punch...

But I couldn't.

Khalisah was watching me carefully, as though she knew what was going through in my mind. She snorted like she wasn't impressed with me.

"Go ahead, Shepard. Hit me. I swear, you'll never live it down. I drag your name through the mud so deep no one will give a shit about your past heroics," she said softly. Smugly.

Hey wait, there was something I could do.

I whipped out my sidearm and before Khalisah could do so much as blink I fired at the camera drone. It blew up, sending circuitry and bits of metal everywhere. Then I tapped my Omni-tool and contacted the C-Sec office.

"This is C-Sec."

"Shepard here. I've got a suspect in custody. Send an officer down to arrest her and bring her to the cells."

"Certainly, Spectre Shepard," answered the officer on the other end of the line. Khalisah looked like she'd seen a ghost.

"But – but – you're no longer a Spectre!"

"Guess again." Off in the distance I could see two officers hurrying towards us, a pair of turians. C-Sec worked fast these days.

"You're arresting me?"

"Damn straight."

"What for? Hey, get your filthy hands off me, you pigs!" she screamed, as the officers tried to restrain her.

"Oh I don't know. I'll think of something. I'll come down to interrogate you later. When I feel like it," I called, watching her being dragged away kicking and screaming.

I knew she would be out again in a few hours, as soon as she could contact her lawyer. But the Spectres were a law unto themselves. The last legal suit to be successfully tried against the Spectres happened over five hundred years ago, and the lawyer in question committed suicide a month later.

I smiled at the thought, which quickly faded. If only other things were as easy to handle.

Sighing I paid the bill, plus extra for the damaged furniture and crockery, and lugged the shopping all the way back to the Normandy's docking bay. Alone.


	16. Losing Everything

**Chapter 16 – Losing Everything**

**The Normandy Mk II**

**Citadel Docking Bay 23409**

"Welcome back, sir," said EDI.

I didn't reply.

"Sir? Glad to see that you're back. Miranda was asking when you were going to meet with the Council," called Joker over his shoulder.

I didn't reply. Instead I headed straight to the CIC, where Kelly was working.

"Yeoman Chambers!" I snapped. Kelly jumped.

"Sir?"

"Do you have a message that warrants my attention?"

"I'm sorry sir, I -"

"Do you, or do you not have a goddamnmessage for me from the Humanity Systems Alliance?"

The expression on Kelly's face changed from shock to guilt, and I knew she was hiding something from me.

"Sir, I -"

"_Answer the fucking question!"_

My shout reverberated throughout the Normandy Bridge, and everyone went silent. It was less crowded than usual, most of the crew enjoying their shore leave, but those that were left were staring at us.

"Hey, leave her alone Shepard!" yelled Joker. He'd gotten out of his seat and stumbled to the CIC, and he was glaring at me. I ignored him and focused back on Kelly.

"I'm sorry sir," said Kelly, lip trembling. When I didn't explode her next words came tumbling out all at once.

"I just thought you needed to relax for a few days, calm down before I told you about this."

"Yeoman. No more excuses. No more delays. Give me the message."

Kelly tapped a few buttons and the letter was projected in mid-air above my command station.

_To: Staff Commander John K. Shepard_

_From: Admiral Robert Chan_

_In light of your prolonged links to the terrorist organisation known as Cerberus, you have been charged with sedition. You have been issued a court-martial date and venue where you can defend yourself. If you choose to ignore this message you will be tried in-absentia, with the possible penalty of a dishonourable discharge from the Humanity Systems Alliance Navy._

I glanced at the date. It was weeks ago, while we were preparing for the attack on the Collector base. There was no way I could have gotten to court. I sank to my knees, then sat down on the floor, leaning against the bulkhead.

Everything I'd done for the Alliance. Years of my life spent in service, the countless missions I'd undertaken, the myriad successes I'd achieved. All the pain and the loss and the horror I'd endured. N7. The Skyllian Blitz. Living up to the legacies of Mama and Dad. All gone, wiped away as though it never happened.

"Dishonourable discharge?" breathed Joker. He looked as shocked as I felt.

"Sir?"

"I'm...I'm sorry Kelly. I shouldn't have yelled at you," I said quietly, without looking at her.

"I didn't want to affect the mission sir," she said hesitantly.

"Next time just tell me after the mission's over. So that I won't have to find out from...other sources."

Kelly knelt down beside me. "I just thought you might want a few days of not having to worry about anything. God knows you've earned it."

Once again, Kelly's selflessness astounded me. She wasn't concealing information because she thought she knew better than me. She'd just wanted to give me a break.

"Yeah. Yeah, I see that now. Tell Miranda to come up and meet me on the Bridge. Dr. Solus, Jacob, Garrus and Samara as well. We're going to see the Council now."

"The Council sir?" asked Kelly. "What about your day with Jack?"

I got up and went to the elevator.

"Forget about it."

**Shift**

In my quarters I had absent mindedly pulled on my standard issue pants and muscle t-shirt, before realising they were of Cerberus issue. No point in pissing off the Council, at least not this early in the game. Shrugging, I poked around my wardrobe before the bags of clothes I bought for Jack caught my eye.

She had bought most of the stuff for herself, but there were other things that were clearly too big for her. I realised they were for me.

I went through the bag and examined them. They were the kinds of clothes you wore to a rock concert or a bar. Not for a meeting with the leaders of Galactic government. I grabbed the nice suit Kasumi had procured for me, put it on and went down to meet up with the rest.

The six of us hurried through the Presidium, heading straight for the Council Chambers. People stood aside to let us pass. You never hurried on the Presidium unless it was something urgent.

"Samara, thanks for not leaving before I've had a chance to speak to the Council. Your word as a justicar will carry great weight in my testimony," I said.

"It is my pleasure, Shepard," she replied. "However, I will have to leave you after this. My work as a justicar compels me to return to asari space."

"That's a damn shame."

"Of course, I will be happy to return if you have need of me. And I suspect you will have need of me before too long," she said, smiling warmly.

"Got that right."

"I'm impressed," Garrus said to me. "You've finally learned how to play politics."

"What are you talking about?"

"A salarian, an asari, a turian, and two former Cerberus operatives plus yourself. Conclusion; all inclusive, multi-species task force. Council likely to respond positively to the subconscious message," chimed in Mordin.

"It is a smart move, Commander," said Jacob.

"I'm going to need all the help I can get to persuade the Council. Every little bit counts. Especially you Miranda."

"Me? Why?"

"Because you were the Illusive Man's top lieutenant. I shouldn't wonder that the Council wishes to know every detail about Cerberus."

"The Illusive Man doesn't work like that," she said dismissively. "He would have eliminated everything about Cerberus that I had access to and uprooted entire projects completely as soon as I informed him of my ah, resignation."

"Oh. Well, at least we have the Normandy. You did make sure every last monitoring device was eliminated?"

"Positive."

**Shift**

After a thorough security check, we were allowed into the topmost levels of galactic government. I felt a little naked without my weapons. I glanced sideways at Samara. The last time that had happened I wound up a prisoner of an Ardat-Yakshi. Although that experience might have been more pleasant than the one I was about to go through.

We were led by the guards to a small room with a round table, where the four most important people in the galaxy were impatiently awaiting our arrival.

Councillor Tevos, the representative from the Asari Republics. She was a matriarch and of a similar age to Samara, and was quite possibly the most respected individual in the galaxy. She was known for her wisdom and restraint, and was always civil to me, despite the circumstances.

Councillor Osbern, the representative from the Salarian Union. I didn't know much about him, and neither did Mordin. He was quiet, and preferred to remain in the shadows. He gave me the impression that for every statement he made he was keeping nine other secrets hidden.

Councillor Velarn, the representative from the Turian Hierarchy. Asshole.

And of course, David Anderson, the first human Councillor. Apparently he'd forgotten that it was I who put him there, judging by the way he didn't do anything about my court-martial. I had a few choice words for him as soon as we could talk in private. He refused to meet my eyes and I immediately knew something was up.

"Spectre Shepard, we would like to hear your report please," began Councillor Tevos pleasantly.

I leaned back in my chair, trying to marshal my thoughts. "No doubt you would be delighted to know that I have completed my mission in the Terminus Systems. The Collector threat against human colonies has been neutralised. Permanently."

Velarn and Osbern exchanged significant glances.

"And what about your alleged links with Cerberus, Commander?" asked Velarn.

I looked at him in the eye. "I'm here to set the record straight. I am not – and have never – been a part of Cerberus. I merely made use of the resources they were willing to provide me for the duration of my mission."

I turned to face Anderson, while still speaking to Velarn.

"And you can stop calling me Commander as well. I'm not part of the Alliance any more."

Anderson said nothing.

"This sounds most promising," said Osbern quickly, to smooth over the awkward moment.

"How can you be sure that Cerberus aren't using you, Shepard?" demanded Velarn. God, he was like a dog with a bone, unwilling to give it up. "According to our intelligence these two humans are members of Cerberus, not to mention your ship!"

"Not anymore," muttered Jacob.

"Councillor, Miranda Lawson and Jacob Taylor have decided at great personal risk to sever all ties with Cerberus in favour of following my command. They have been of immense help during the assault on the Collector base."

"They quit Cerberus? Just like that?" asked Velarn doubtfully.

"Shepard," said Tevos carefully. "Speaking bluntly, how can you be sure you can trust these individuals? How can you be sure that this is not some plot by Cerberus to exploit you?"

Miranda's lips tightened in a firm line. I gave her a warning look, then answered the Councillor.

"I trust them, ma'am. I've trusted them with my lives. They've never let me down, not even once. And I'd be willing to do it again."

"So we are to once again risk everything on your gut feelings?" asked Velarn sarcastically. Good God, I wanted to punch him in the face so much.

"I'm not asking you to invite us round for tea and dumplings," I said heatedly. "If Miranda and Jacob suddenly slit my throat in the middle of the night and deliver my head to the Illusive Man, fine. I'll admit you're right. But somehow I don't think that's going to happen."

"Councillors!" said Anderson. "There is a greater issue at stake here. Spectre Shepard's encounter with the Collectors has turned up evidence of Reaper activity. We can no longer close our eyes to the Reaper threat."

"Is that so?" asked Osbern. "Where exactly is this Collector base?"

"We obtained a Reaper IFF from a secret Cerberus project," I explained. "This allowed us to bypass the security measures put in place at the other end of the Omega 4 relay, which was where the Collector base was located."

"'Was', Shepard?"

I winced.

"What happened to the base?" asked Tevos.

"I – uh – blew it up."

"Typical!" exclaimed Velarn. "You had an entire base full of Collector technology, far superior to anything we have at our disposal, and you blow it up! Did you even consider the possibility that we might have found useful information and technology within that base?"

"Councillor," I said with deliberate politeness. "I have heard that spiel before, but not from you. The Illusive Man said the exact same thing, word for word."

You could have heard a pin drop.

"It was my decision to get rid of the base," I continued. "Collector technology is based heavily on Reaper technology, which carries significant risk of indoctrination. The Illusive Man wanted access to that same Reaper technology, Councillor. Imagine Cerberus utilising a weapon similar to the ones used on the attack on the Citadel. It was because of my decision that will not happen."

I didn't have much experience with turian facial expressions, but it seemed to me that Velarn looked as though he had been forced to swallow his own genitals. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Garrus tip me a wink.

"If the base is destroyed, do you have any other evidence to prove the truth of your words, Shepard?" asked Tevos.

"My name is Samara," spoke up my companion suddenly. "You know who I am, Councillor."

"Yes. I do," said Tevos, looking at the justicar with mixed apprehension and respect.

"I was recruited by Shepard for his mission. I have fought by his side and followed his commands, and battled the Collectors at his behest. I was on that Collector station. I saw first hand evidence of Reaper influence. And I can attest to the loyalty and bravery of Miss Lawson and Mr. Taylor. They have done a courageous thing by leaving Cerberus."

"I...see," said the Councillor.

"Any other evidence you might wish to present, Shepard?" asked Osbern.

"Indeed I do. Step forward Dr. Solus."

Mordin sat up a little straighter. I saw Osbern blink in surprise. Perhaps he recognised the name.

"Have collected substantial biological data on the Collectors. Able to prove genetic link to the Protheans, as well as evidence of extensive gene modification made by the Reapers. Also, have in possession a single drone of the so-called Seeker swarms that were used to abduct human colonies, as well as inventing an effective counter measure. Will be happy to forward my findings to the Council."

"Please do so, doctor," said Osbern. "We will examine the data and reach a conclusion within a few days, Spectre Shepard."

I stood up. "Now before I leave, let me say something."

Everyone's eyes were on me.

"I know the hatchet job you performed on me after I was lost. I know you tried to paint Sovereign's attack as some kind of geth plot. I know you tried to make me out as some kind of lunatic," I said intensely, fingers gripping the edge of the table until my knuckles had turned white.

"Shepard, our decisions affect trillions of lives. We simply cannot incite a galactic panic by confirming your apocalyptic predictions of doom!"

"Keep calm and carry on, eh? That ain't an option. Not any longer. Check the data. Run your tests. Do whatever you want. Then when you find out that I am right and we have zero time to waste, let me know."

"We will...keep in contact," said Councillor Tevos. "You and your team are dismissed."

**Shift**

We were in the lobby of the Council Chambers when Anderson came running up.

"Jack, wait. I know I owe you an explanation."

I didn't answer immediately, but looked at Garrus. "Go on ahead, I'll catch up with you guys later."

"You sure, sir?" asked Jacob.

"Yeah."

They filed into the elevator, and were whisked away. I then faced the man who had been my hero, my mentor, my captain, and my friend.

"I'm sure you have a lot of questions for me," he said in that deep, wise-sounding voice of his. Anderson always looked and acted like a man you could trust. I had fallen for that.

"Let's get the obvious points out of the way, shall we? Dishonourable discharge? Without having a chance to defend myself?"

"You have to understand how it looked from their point of view," Anderson began. "You were dead and gone. Nobody knew what to think. Then the Council came in with their nonsense about geth. The Alliance had a major PR disaster on their hands. You went from poster boy to pariah overnight."

"Tell me something I don't know."

"Alright. Alright. You see, they could have overlooked all that...had you not associated yourself with Cerberus."

"For the love of -"

"Jack, even mentioning Cerberus's name is enough to place you under suspicion nowadays. You should know that. The damage they've done to the Alliance, the lives they threw away...the Alliance sees them as monsters. Plain and simple. After Chief Williams filed her report -"

"What?" I choked. "Ash did this?"

"She was doing her job. All she could confirm was that you were working with Cerberus, and didn't intend to stop. You didn't even tell her you were infiltrating Cerberus or something. We didn't have any mitigating factor at all."

"The Ash I knew would never have believed I was working for Cerberus if I didn't have any other goddamn choice," I said.

"You did have a court-martial. You could have showed up and defended yourself."

"What part of 'preparation for a suicide mission' don't you understand, Anderson?" I raged. "While you and the rest of the Alliance were jerking off, I was risking my life trying to solve the problem you didn't give a fuck about!"

"We were conducting our own investigation!"

"And it was too goddamn slow! Thousands of men and women died, Anderson. Tens of thousands. They died while you were working through your red tape."

Anderson looked haunted. His eyes were sunken, his breath was ragged. Right before my eyes he changed from a dignified Councillor into a tired old man.

"I know they did," he said. "I know. I didn't ask for this job, Shepard. You gave it to me."

"I gave it to one of the best men I knew," I said, struggling to keep the emotion out of my voice. "I gave it to you because I thought I could trust you. I thought I could count on you to watch my back."

"I'm not a very good politician. I'm a soldier."

"So was I. But now I'm no longer one, am I?"

Anderson didn't have anything to say to that.

"My father died for the Alliance, Anderson. My mother still serves. I'm Alliance, born and bred. I gave my life to the Academy. To N7. To the Elysium defence. I dreamed about being a marine everyday of my life when I was a kid. Now all of that is so much dust in the wind."

"I'm sorry. I wish there could have been another way."

"There was. You could have stood up for me."

"I did what I could. But even a Councillor's no match for gutter politics."

I fished around in my pocket and handed Anderson something I'd taken from my cabin. My Star of Terra medal, awarded for outstanding bravery in the line of fire during the Skyllian Blitz. The highest honour the Alliance could bestow. Now less than worthless.

"Take it."

"Jack, I -"

"If the HSA doesn't want me, I'm not that big a dumbass to beg them to take me back. I'm just a Spectre now. I'll go where I want, do what I want. Wherever your arm reaches, I'll just fly a little further."

"I'll keep this safe," said Anderson, closing his fist over the little medal. "One day they'll give it back to you."

"That day comes, I'm not going to take it back."

**Shift**

I went back to the Normandy, head spinning. It felt strange to have your life's purpose washed away from you without so much as a whimper. For so long the only thing I'd been committed to was the Alliance. I lived and breathed the Alliance. I could recite the creed by heart, knew all the songs since I was little. Now all that had been cut off.

In the course of a few hours I had lost everything. I had lost everything that defined my life.

I went to my cabin and sat down on the bed. Everything was neat and ordered, like a soldier's room should be. Everything except the clothes I'd bought, they were all over the place.

It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything.

I took off my nice suit and flung it onto the floor. I rummaged for the clothes Jack had picked for me, and put them on piece by piece.

Stonewashed jeans, with steel rivets.

Nice open-neck, button-down white shirt.

Brown leather jacket, so new it cracked as I put it on.

Steel shod combat boots.

Shades tinted a dark red.

I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked different. I felt different. I ran a hand over my carefully shaved scalp. I'd kept it short for so long due to the ingrained habit of military regs. I'd never have to do that again.

I started to walk out, then stopped. Something had caught my eye.

Jack had left a packet of smokes and a silver lighter lying on the table from the last time she was here. I picked it up and shook one out. I flicked the lighter and lit it up.

I had never smoked in my life. My parents didn't, and I didn't see any reason to. Besides, I didn't want anything to harm my lungs.

Those were my old lungs. My old body was destroyed. This was the new me. I should have realised this earlier. I had died. I was reborn. And the thing about being born again, is that you can shape your life any way you want.

I took a long drag on the cigarette, savouring the taste. I puffed out the smoke, stuck the cigarette in a corner of my mouth, and headed out.

**C-Sec Office**

**The Presidium**

"Commander Shepard?" asked the woman at the front desk.

"Spectre."

"Ah, of course."

"I'm here to interrogate my suspect, Ms. Al-Jailani."

"She's down in room five, sir. I believe her lawyer's just arrived."

I smiled. "Even better."

I swaggered through the station and reached the interrogation room. I could see Khalisah and her lawyer sitting at one end of a table, both of them arguing animatedly with a harassed looking salarian. I flicked my cigarette into a waste bin, lit a new one, and slammed the door open.

"Shepard!" she cried in surprise.

"Officer," I said to the salarian. "Take a walk. I'll handle this."

"Yes sir."

When he had left I went over to the door and locked it. Then I sat down on the chair facing them and settled back.

Khalisah began yelling at me and I tuned out. I rolled my eyes to the ceiling and hummed a little tune. When it became apparent I wasn't paying attention she tapered off and fell silent.

"Commander Shepard," began the lawyer, and I looked at him. He was a man of average height and build, brown hair, brown eyes. For someone so average looking it was amazing how every fibre of his being screamed _asshole. _

"This is an illegal detainment. My client has not been informed of the charges she is accused of. I have every right to -"

"Spectre."

"What?"

"Not Commander. Not any more. Spectre."

"He got kicked out of the Alliance," sneered Khalisah.

"Spectre or not, I'm going to hound your ass until you wish you'd never been -"

Quick as a wink I jerked forward and snatched the front of his shirt with both hands. Although he was a little on a heavy side it was child's play for me to haul him up, drag him across the table and fling him on the floor behind me.

"What are you doing?" shrieked Khalisah. Her lawyer was too busy groaning in pain to say anything. "You can't do that!"

I blew a puff of smoke in her face. "Watch me."

"I'll have your hide for this!" screamed the lawyer. "Every last goddamn credit you have!"

"You are not your bank account," I said pleasantly, hauling the lawyer off the floor and shoving him up against a wall. "You are not what you own. You are not what you have achieved."

"Let me go!"

"The Alliance let me go buddy. They did that. But I'm still Spectre. Does the phrase 'above the law' mean anything to you?"

"You corrupt son of a bitch!"

"You know, Commander Shepard would have cared about that. Commander Shepard always tried to do the right thing. Commander Shepard was always the hero. And look at where that sad bastard ended up. Dead and forgotten, laughed at for being a Reaper-obsessed maniac."

_Do it, _whispered a voice in my mind, with all the silk and venom of an Ardat-Yakshi.

"Let's see how well Spectre Jack does," I said, and rammed my head forward.

It was an old move, taught to me long ago. It's called the Liverpool Kiss, and if you do it fast enough and in just the right way it would knock a turian out cold, and even stun a krogan for a second or two. I felt the lawyer's nose break under my skull and gush blood. He dropped to the floor, out for the foreseeable future.

"Help me! Oh God, someone please help me! Save me from this lunatic!" screamed Khalisah, pounding on the door with all her might. But no one came.

"Khalisah. Baby," I drawled, coming closer. She shrieked and ran away, to the opposite corner of the room.

"Stay away from me! Stay away!"

I pulled up a chair and turned it around so I could lean on it while facing her.

"Finally. For once you're scared of something. I'll bet in your entire life you've never actually feared for your life, have you?"

Khalisah shook her head desperately.

"For instance," I said, unholstering my gun and pointing it at her. "I could shoot you right now and no one would blink an eye. I don't think I've ever really understood what 'Above the law' truly meant. It's absolute freedom. It's marvellous."

Khalisah had gone very, very still. Her eyes were focused on my gun.

"There's...there are records..." she managed to say.

"Of this little talk? Sure," I said. "But I have friends. In high places and low. I could get the recording without even trying. No one would ever know."

"What do you want from me?" she said quietly. Tears were streaming down her face. She was a broken, hollowed-out shell of what she used to be. I had misused my power and my status to terrify the living hell out of this woman.

And God help me, that suited me just fine.

"All throughout your shitty career you've dragged my name through the mud. It ends now. It ends here. Stay off my back, and do your best to inform people about the Reapers. I said inform, not sensationalise."

"What if I don't?"

"I'll be keeping an eye out. If you get back to your old ways, well...you won't know how. You won't know when. But I'll come for you. And when that happens, today will seem like a bleedin' day at the soddin' seaside. Got that?"

Khalisah nodded quickly. Better to make some sort of vague threat than to give the specifics. Her own mind would terrify her better than I ever could.

I unlocked the door and Khalisah took off like the hounds of hell were at her heels. I shrugged and walked out.

"Did you find what you were looking for, sir?" asked the woman at the front desk. I puffed on my cigarette and flashed her a smile.

"Absolutely, darling."


	17. I Am Jack's Freedom

**Chapter 17 – I Am Jack's Freedom**

**Foreword: **

You smart chaps can probably guess which fantastic movie inspired the majority of this chapter. I was struck by the profound similarities between the relationship of Jack and Jack and some aspects of the film, as well as the aptness of some of the lines.

**The Grinder**

**Zakera Ward**

**Citadel Station**

Think of the loudest, seediest, nastiest bar you've ever seen. It doesn't have to be one you've personally visited, because if you did you'd probably be risking your neck. Maybe its patrons would stab you for a single credit. Maybe that dark puddle you sat in was someone else's blood. Maybe that beer you ordered wasn't strictly beer, and one drop was enough to topple a krogan. Maybe lots of people get into fights at this bar. Maybe some of them don't survive. Maybe the local authorities don't care, because caring would mean that they would have to step into the bar.

Whatever you can think of, let me assure you it is nothing – _nothing – _compared to the shithole that is the Grinder in the absolute bowels of the Zakera wards. To get there you had to take a shuttle to the lowest level, then at the point where someone hijacked your shuttle, you hung a left past the pile of dead bodies until you found it.

It was nothing like Flux or the Darkstar Lounge. Nothing like Chora's Den. Even the Afterlife had a touch of class to it, and the drinks were good. The Grinder had no redeeming factor whatsoever. It was a place you went to when you were sick of life.

It was here that I knew I would find Jack.

I walked in and sat down on the one free seat that didn't appear to be broken or bloodstained. Fifty pairs of eyes did not track my entrance, because I was just another face in a crowd of hundreds. Scarred turians, shady asari, krogans whom other krogans considered to be too violent, shifty looking salarians, even the odd elcor and volus. There was a single hanar, which for some reason was holding a gun in every tentacle. I ordered a drink by randomly pointing, spit it out because it clearly wasn't intended for human consumption, and stole a shot of ryncol from a krogan when his back was turned. Then I leaned back and watched the evening's festivities.

Another reason why my entrance went unnoticed was because most of the people in there were preoccupied with a huge brawl taking place in the middle of the room. Furniture had been hurriedly shoved aside to make space, and a ring of yelling and cheering scumbags were cheering the combatants on.

Jack had stripped down to nothing but her jeans and a single belt that ran across her chest. Her teeth were bared in a snarl, and she was moving warily around an old, battle-scarred asari. Her lip was cut, her jaw had a nasty bruise. Blood trickled down from her lip in a bright red line, inching its way down her body.

Jack screamed and rushed the asari. She went in low, circling her hands around her opponent's waist and bringing her to the floor in a takedown. Jack was all over her, punching and clawing, but the asari was giving back as good as she got and got in a few good kicks. The roar from the crowd was defeaning. The smell of sweat and blood and bloodlust from a hundred different aliens filled the air.

I drank some more ryncol. The krogan drink was foul beyond imagination, but according to Wrex I was about the only human in the galaxy who could keep it down, and since then it had become a point of pride of me to do so.

Jack had straddled the asari, and was punching her in the face repeatedly. The crowd was revelling in the smack of tattooed flesh upon blue. I could hear the sound of bone snapping.

"Stop," burbled the asari merc. At least I think she was a merc, judging by the three nearby asari dressed in identical uniforms who wore identical expressions of horror on their faces.

"I can't hear you," said Jack, raising her fist.

"Stop," repeated the merc. Then she went limp. Jack climbed off her, looking triumphant. The beaten asari was dragged away to safety by her companions.

"Another win for me. Fucking pay up, all of you."

There were some muttered grumblings, but most of the spectators rummaged around for their credit chits. It was clear they didn't want to piss Jack off any more than she already was.

"Anyone else? I'll take you all on. Krogan, turian, I don't give a fuck. If you got the cash, step into the ring."

"I could snap you in half, little girl," growled a krogan. He had only one eye and one arm, but was toting an impressive mouthful of teeth.

"You go for me, I use my biotics. And you don't want me to use my biotics," shot back Jack.

The krogan growled, but didn't move. Jack wiped the blood from her mouth and looked around at the crowd.

"Come on. Last chance. Who here thinks they could take me?"

I got up, pushed people out of the way and forced myself into the middle of the 'ring'. I threw away my old cigarette, flicked my lighter and held the flame to the tip of the new one, and inhaled deep.

Puffing smoke, I faced down my bloodthirsty, rage-addicted girlfriend.

"I do."

**Shift**

"Jack?"

"Yep."

"What are you doing here?"

I shrugged. "Came to find you."

Jack folded her arms and glared at me. "Fuck off. I'm not going anywhere with you."

I sighed. "We've been through this before."

"You think I'm kidding? You think I'm lying? I'm leaving you. We're done. Don't come near me."

But I saw the truth in her eyes. She was surprised, shocked even, to see me here. She hadn't been expecting me to come after her.

"Jack, let's go home."

"I don't have a home."

The crowd began jeering. "Get on with it!"

"Start the fight!"

"You know the rules, Jack," rumbled a massive krogan by the counter. "If this is his first night here – he has to fight."

Fine by me.

I shrugged off my jacket. I took off my shades. I tore off my shirt. I kicked off my boots. Soon I was dressed exactly like Jack. I kept my cigarette though.

"What the fuck are you doing?" she said in a low tone.

"I've had a revelation."

"What?"

"I tried to bring you into my world. Too much, too soon. You were hurt, Jack. Whatever happens, you will always carry some memory of the pain with you. I thought I could make it all better with a few words and kisses. It doesn't work that way."

"I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about."

"Shut up and listen," I said. "It wasn't fair of me to expect you to come into my life and expect you to change to suit my needs. To suit my ideals. You are who you are Jack. I have to accept that. And if your world entails beating other people to a bloody pulp in this godawful shithole...then I'm going to be the first asshole to take a swing."

"You think you're better than me," snarled Jack.

"Right here, right now? All that's past doesn't matter. I'm not a hero. You're not Subject Zero. We're just two fighters getting ready to kick the shit out of each other. What matters is the moment."

"Don't think I'll go easy on you," said Jack, beginning to move on her feet. "Because I won't."

I finished the last of my cigarette and stubbed it out on the floor with my heel.

"Fine by me."

Jack lunged forward and it was on.

She had the speed and agility, and raw, primal fury that could quickly overwhelm an opponent taken off guard. But I was trained. I'd been in hand to hand fights to the death before. You either got good at it or died in a hurry.

Jack telegraphed every action she made, and it was child's play for me to anticipate her movements by reading the subtle muscle movements and shifts of weight. I matched her superior speed by always being one step ahead.

But all you need is one lucky break. Jack took a swing that I didn't quite manage to dodge and cracked me on the jaw. I spun around sideways before regaining my balance.

Jack stopped moving, and was staring at me with mixed horror and fascination. Slowly, I brought my hand up to my mouth. It came away bloody. A tooth had been knocked loose.

"Jack I -"

I raised a hand, before bending over and spitting out a mouthful of blood. Then I looked at her again.

"I want you to hit me as hard as you can."

"Why?"

"Maybe it'll be good for you. Drain your rage. If we don't sort out your problems, both of us will die. So hit me. As hard as you can. As much as you want. Whatever you give me, I can take it."

"I don't think -"

"So don't think. Just fuckin' do it. Beat me up if you want to. Break my bones. Crack my skull. I won't lift a finger."

"_Why _are you doing this?"

"You can't live without violence? You get warm feelings during a fight? Then go ahead! HIT ME!"

"I will!"

"Good! When you hit me, you're not fuckin' around with anyone else! When you hit me, you're safe!"

Jack screamed and gave me a roundhouse kick straight to the solar plexus. I saw it coming, didn't do anything about it, and flew about ten feet.

I lay on the ground, accepting the pain. This was fine. Pain I could handle. Pain and I were old friends. Physical pain, at least.

"Finish it!" yelled someone.

Jack stood over me, looking down. I stared up at her through half-closed eyes.

"Tell me why, Jack," she said softly, so that only I could hear.

"Because I'm a crazy motherfucker," I said. I hacked a cough and spit out more blood. "Because I'm in love with you."

If I thought that would melt her heart I was dead wrong. Jack drove her fist at the place where my head was a second ago before I rolled out of the way. There was a guttural roar of appreciation from the crowd in anticipation of violence to come.

"You stupid selfish prick!" she screamed, lashing out with her foot again. I jumped off the ground and barely avoided being knocked down again.

"Things were so much fucking easier when you weren't around!" A right hook, ducked just in time.

"You're the worst thing that ever happened to me!"

I blocked her jab with my forearm and laughed. "And you're the best."

Jack stopped and looked at me like I was insane. Maybe I was.

"I've always known I'm a fucked up bitch, Jack. I've never met anyone more fucked up than me. Except you."

"I love you too."

Jack raised her hand, then lowered it.

"No. I won't do this."

"Huh?"

"That's it. I'm done."

Jack turned her back and walked away. I blinked. My head was ringing and the space where my tooth used to be was really killing me. The adrenaline high was wearing off and I felt incredibly weary. Going back to the Normandy and letting Dr. Chakwas take a look at me seemed like a great idea.

The huge krogan had lumbered over, and pushed Jack back into the 'ring'.

"He didn't say stop, or tap, or go limp. It's not over," he said ominously.

"It's over when I say it's over, asshole," said Jack, a blue glow suddenly surrounding her fist. But before she could make another move I heard the unmistakeable sound of firearms being cocked and loaded.

"You know rule six. No shirt, no shoes, no shields, no biotics."

"Look, I'll drop out," I said. "I don't want any trouble."

_Don't you now, _whispered a voice in my mind.

"That's not how it works, replied the krogan, before being shoved aside by another krogan. I thought I'd seen big krogan before. This guy was bigger. He was taller than Wrex, who was the biggest krogan I'd ever seen. And he looked pissed.

"Are you the little pyjak who stole my ryncol?" he demanded.

Uh-oh.

**Shift**

Things change when you're fighting for your life. It's probably an evolutionary measure left over from the days when we still had to hunt our own meat.

Outside sound deadens to a dull whine. Your reactions ramp up to unexpected levels. Your mind works faster than you ever thought possible. Your body doesn't even care, making its own decisions. No time for thought when instinct is called for.

The krogan was built like a skyscraper, but he was slow. As beat up and big and clumsy as I was, I was still faster than him. I was counting on that fact to save my life, because a single hit from him would break every bone in my body. I was under no delusions.

Every time I'd faced krogan I had a weapon in my hand. Now I had nothing save my bare fists. This wasn't a fight. This was suicide. This was a delayed execution. He was going to kill me, it was just a matter of time. I should have been staining my new jeans in terror and begging and grovelling for mercy.

Except I wasn't. My mouth was hanging open and I suddenly realised I was laughing hysterically. In light of what had happened to me, fighting for my life against a maddened krogan seemed like the perfect symbol of my existence. Always against the odds. But never backing down, even to the point of madness.

The krogan turned around and charged. I hit the floor and slid between his legs to the other side. Before he could react I nailed a perfect dropkick to the back of his head.

It hurt like a bitch. I think I broke both my heels. Yeah, I wasn't going to win this one.

As I struggled to keep my balance I tried to recall everything Wrex ever told me about fighting krogan. I could hear his gravelly voice as though he was standing right beside me.

**Shift**

"_A real krogan doesn't have any weaknesses, Shepard."_

"_Oh yeah? So how come I've killed so many?"_

"_You were holding a gun, you idiot. One on one, you'd lose."_

"_As if. You and me, right now. Let's go."_

"_I'd kill you."_

"_Please."_

"_No, I'd kill you," said the big lizard with perfect honesty. "I'm armored all over. My headplate could survive a shotgun blast. I could break your bones with one punch. And you'll die of old age before I get tired."_

"_So how does a human punch out a krogan?"_

_Wrex shrugged._

"_When krogan fight other krogan, they either go for the eyes...or the quads. Heh heh heh."_

**Shift**

Eyes and quads. Eyes and quads. Thank you, Wrex.

I threw my hands in the air and screamed at the big krogan.

"Come on, motherfucker!"

The crowd was screaming for blood. But they liked that I was grandstanding a little before my inevitable death.

The krogan rushed towards me again. Before he could squash me like a bug, I leapt into the air and lashed out at his left eye with my foot. My big toe must have poked him good, because he bellowed in pain and staggered backwards. This was my chance. Perhaps the only one I had.

I jabbed at his injured eye, knuckled extended so the point would drive straight into the soft jelly. I did it again and again, not letting up. The krogan roared and swiped at me with his claws, barely missing my unprotected abdomen. One swipe would open me up like a gutted fish.

I attacked his eye for the final time and felt a rush of pure delight as it collapsed and gushed out some kind sticky fluid. I had gotten too close, and the krogan ripped at me, slashing bright red lines from my shoulder to my hip. But the cuts were shallow, and they would heal. His ruined eye would not.

"I'LL KILL YOU HUMAN!" howled the krogan.

"Stop talking about killing me and kill me, you piece of shit," I spat.

Endgame. Time to finish it. Or die. Either possibility seemed just as likely.

I dropped to the floor again to slide under him. Only I wasn't trying to escape, but because it was a prime position to go for the quads. I pistoned both legs directly into sweet spot, with as much force as I could muster.

The krogan toppled like a chopped tree and hit the floor with a resounding crash. I leapt on him and hammered at his other eye with both fists. He slashed at me again and again, but not being able to see properly he missed all the vital organs. Flesh wounds would heal, leaving just scars.

"Give up, you fucking moron."

"Not...to a human..." he growled.

I stuck my finger in his other eye. "Your choice."

The krogan bucked and writhed, trying to throw me off, but I hung on like grim death. Once he was blinded I would have a chance to survive.

To my amazement. The krogan hit the floor with his hand. Then again.

"He tapped out! Fight's over!" screamed a frenzied salarian.

A hush descended on the room as I got to my feet.

"Anyone else want to fuck with me?"

Silence met my challenge.

"Good."

I was bleeding like a stuck pig from a dozen different wounds. If anyone else stepped up to take me on, I would go down easier than an asari whore. I hoped with all my might they'd be too intimidated to actually do it.

To my utter relief, they bought it. The crowd broke up and went back to their drinks as though nothing happened. I searched around for my smokes and lit up a fresh stick. The nicotine flooding my body was the sweetest thing I ever tasted.

"You are one fucked up son of a bitch."

Scratch that. Make it the second sweetest.

Jack came up to me, her expression inscrutable. She placed her hands on my bare chest delicately.

"You're bleeding." My blood stained her hands, layering red over her ink.

"It's fine, really. I wouldn't want to die without a few scars."

"You're different. Tell me what happened."

Smoke billowed out of my nostrils. "I uh, was fired."

"From where?"

"The Alliance. They gave me a dishonourable discharge."

"Fucking assholes!" exclaimed Jack.

"I thought you hated the Alliance," I said, surprised.

"Well yeah. But I know how much it means to you, being a soldier and everything."

I laughed. "Yeah, look at me. I stop being a soldier for one day and I'm about to pass out from blood loss after having punched out a krogan. But you know what? I don't give a fuck."

"You don't?"

"You know what I love about you Jack?"

Jack looked away, as if dreading to hear the answer. I gently turned her head to face me.

"Hey, listen to me. It's because you live life on your own terms. No rules beyond what you make."

"But I'm not right," she said stubbornly. "I'm messed up."

"So am I. I've lost everything I ever had. But it's only after you've lost everything that you're free. Complete and utter freedom, for the first time in my life."

"You're wrong," she said quietly.

"Sorry?"

"You haven't lost everything. You have the ship. You have the crew. And you have...you have me. For what it's worth."

She came close and wrapped her arms around me. "I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt anymore. You have me, Jack," she whispered.

"And you have me," I said, kissing her. "Not Commander Shepard. That asshole's dead. He died two years ago. Today just makes it official."

"Good, I never liked the prick anyway. Come on. Let's go home."

With our arms around each other, Jack and I headed out. Back to the Normandy.

"You know, you met me at a very strange time of my life."

"Jack, it doesn't take a fucking genius to see that."

**Afterword:**

Wow, that's done. This chapter was actually continued on from the previous one. It got a little out of hand, so I split it in two. A lot of changes are happening to Shepard, not all of them positive. I believe it's important to address a flawed Shepard, how he reacts and changes to the change happening all around him. A Shepard that remains static is a boring Shepard, but that doesn't make the new Shepard necessarily better than the old one. Absolute freedom is a monumental concept that most people aren't quite able to handle. We'll see how it goes.

Oh yeah, and unlike the first and second rules, feel free to talk about my fic! Keep reading, and take care.


	18. Brand New Day

**Chapter 18 – Brand New Day**

**Foreword:**

Yep, this is it. The sexy chapter. For those of you who are uncomfortable with a straightforward description of sex between two consenting adults in love with each other, please skip the first half of this chapter. The second part of the chapter has good stuff too, like Shepard calling the Council a bunch of pricks.

**The Citadel**

I don't know why Jack started kissing me the moment we left the Grinder. She put her hands around my neck and brought my lips to hers, hard and insistent. I barely had enough time to tuck my cigarette behind my ear. My mouth opened up and her tongue snaked inside, sliding over and around my own. Almost immediately I felt the blood rush to my groin and my jeans felt uncomfortably tight. After a few intense minutes, I had to surface for air.

"What about...our clothes?" I gasped. We were wearing nothing except for our jeans. I had stopped bleeding, but the cuts on my body were still raw, and painful to the touch.

Jack had a look in her eyes that I'd only ever seen in battle. Hunger. Yearning. Lust.

"What about them?" she said.

I couldn't think of a good enough response.

We locked lips all the way from Zakera Ward, up all the countless levels to the docking bay where the Normandy sat at rest. We were half-naked, barefoot, she was covered in ink and I was covered in blood. Every time she touched me my wounds would sob in protest. Out of the corner of my eye I could see people pointing and muttering. I couldn't have cared less.

With my free hand I entered the code that would open up the Normandy's airlock. My other hand was...preoccupied. Jack pushed me against the hull and were we kissing so hard I didn't even notice the airlock hiss open. She did though, and taking my hand she led me back into the ship. Our home.

"Welcome back, Jack. Welcome back Commander," greeted EDI, as she always did. I would have corrected her, but I was pulled away by Jack in the direction of the elevator. Joker wasn't in the pilot's chair, and the bridge seemed unusually empty. I don't know whether to feel relieved or disappointed about that.

"Where are we going?"

"Your place."

"You forgot – my place is yours too," I said, and was rewarded with another kiss.

After a brief yet frustrating wait, we reached my cabin. My fish needed feeding. The reports on my desk needed sorting out. My armour and weapons needed a few upgrades. But they seemed inconsequential, relics of an old life. The shine of the new was embodied in the incredible, fiery woman I held in my arms.

I broke away from her lips, eliciting a petulant little mewl of protest from Jack.

"I really need a shower," I said. "Just give me five minutes."

"So do I. Let's not waste time."

And with that she shoved me hard with both hands. I tumbled into the bathroom, sprawled flat on my back. Jack advanced towards me, her eyes locked on mine. She dropped to her knees and slithered on top of me, her hands roaming everywhere.

I reached up and hit the button for the shower. A warm deluge poured over our bodies, washing away the dirt, blood, sweat and other filth we'd picked up from the Grinder. Water trickled into our mouths as we kissed. Her body felt slick and wet on top of me, sliding around a little on the slippery shower floor.

Jack got off me and pulled me to my feet. Before she could speak I grabbed her arms and it was my turn to push her up against a wall. I lowered my lips to her neck and kissed her as hard as I could. A loud moan escaped her throat as I worked my way down to her collarbone. She arched her back, pressing her body against mine. I could feel her arousal, her nipples were hard and her breath was coming faster in ragged pants. I wanted her more than I ever wanted anything in my life. But I had to make sure.

"Jack," I said, barely audible over the sound of the rushing water.

"Hmm?"

"I need to know if you're ready. If you want this."

Jack's hand shot out and grabbed my crotch, and I groaned involuntarily. My mind was a whirl.

"You better believe I want this."

I fought for some semblance of control.

"I just...I just want to make it right."

"You already did. I need you Jack. I need this. Now."

The words I'd been waiting to hear for what felt like an eternity.

Jack tore at my jeans with both hands while I continued to kiss a trail down her chest. I ran my tongue over her nipple and felt a shudder ripple through her body. Jack's breasts were small, befitting her slim, wiry frame. But they looked perfect on her, and had the added advantage of allowing me to fit my whole mouth around each one. With extreme delicacy I closed my teeth down on her stiff nipple and heard her gasp.

Jack had managed to get the buttons undone, and roughly pulled down my jeans and my boxer shorts. I stepped out of the soaking wet garments, kicked them to one side and resumed toying with Jack's breasts with my mouth and tongue. My hands dropped to her hips and I caressed her ass. The damp fabric of her jeans felt rough and wet under my fingers and I was seized with the desire to strip her as bare as the day she was born. I ripped off her jeans and her black thong and we were naked together for the first time. Not that I'd been thinking a lot about it or anything.

The shower shut off suddenly, the last of the water gurgling away down the drain. It was an automatic measure designed to save water. I looked at her and raised an eyebrow.

"I don't care where Jack," she said, her voice thick with lust. "I said now and I mean it."

I bent down, scooped up her legs with one arm and supported her back with another, lifting her into the air. Jack didn't weigh much and it was easy for me to carry her bridal style out of the bathroom and to the bed. I placed her down as gently as I could and she looked confused.

"I thought you were going to drop me," she said.

"You might have fallen off. Hurt yourself."

Jack smiled. "I'm a tough girl, Jack. Don't worry."

I got on the bed and moved closer to her. "I don't care. I won't hurt you."

"What if I asked you to?"

"Well now, that's a different story."

I cupped her breasts with one hand and reached further down her body with the other. So far I had been getting all the pleasure. It was time for me to be a gentleman and see to Jack's needs. I kept my eyes on her face as I slipped one finger inside, and then another. She closed her eyes and cried out, her fingernails digging into my back.

"Fucking hell, Jack," she breathed.

Spurred on by the encouragement, I continued moving my fingers in and out of her, taking pleasure in the way she shook her head from side to side, the way she gasped and moaned.

Jack must have had sex with countless of people before me. But I doubt any single one of them truly loved her like I did. She had been raped, had men (and maybe women) force themselves on her. She never had a lover who devoted himself to her, who put her pleasure above that of his own. She really was lucky that I was more than happy to be that man.

She pouted a little as I withdrew my fingers, and licked each slick and wet one clean.

"Just when it was getting good, you prick."

I didn't bother with a reply. Actions spoke louder than words. I pushed her legs apart, gently but firmly, and lowered my head between them.

"Oh. Oh, yes. God, yes."

It would be just like Jack to get religious in bed. I was focused completely on what I was doing, my tongue working up and down her slit in long, languorous strokes, taking my time with each one. With each upward stroke I would pause and lavish the little nub just above her folds with extra care and attention. I didn't care how long it took. As long as she got there.

Her thighs were wrapped around my face and neck and they clenched together hard as she reached her climax. She didn't scream or anything like that, just gasped and shuddered as I felt a rush of wetness flood my tongue and mouth. It tasted sweet, just like my fingers had.

"How'd I do?" I murmured, running my tongue over my lips to get every last drop.

Jack smiled. "Fucking amazing."

I raised myself slightly on my forearms and scooted a bit further up the bed, allowing the tip of my penis to rest against the engorged outer lips of her vagina. It seemed like all the blood in my body had pooled in my groin, my head felt uncommonly light. She raised her legs and rested them on my shoulders, opening herself to me.

I pushed forward slowly, carefully, wanting to luxuriate in every last sensation as I buried myself to the hilt in the woman I loved. I felt her stretch around me as I slid inside, heard her moan my name. I hadn't had sex in years and I felt ready to explode at any instant. Looking at Jack, seeing her bite her lip as her huge dark eyes stared up into mine nearly sent me over the edge.

"Don't...you...dare..." she gasped, rocking her hips forward with urgent need.

I sure as hell didn't want to, not so fast. But by God it was bloody difficult to keep control. I silenced her with a kiss, and continued the pace. I got up to a steady rhythm, keeping it slow and deliberate. I would pull out almost all the way except for the head, then thrust back in again with the same speed as the first one, taking my time. There was no rush. I wish it could have gone on forever.

"God Jack, I love you. I love you so much."

Who had said it, me or her? It didn't matter. It would have been true either way.

Despite exerting every ounce of self-control I had I inevitably began to speed up, no longer able to thrust forward with the same deliberateness as before. Jack began to writhe beneath me, her fists clenching the sheets. Her hips were bucking wildly, arching her back and rising up to meet me every time I pumped myself back in.

"Jack, please, oh God please."

Jack had let go of the sheets and her arms were wrapped around my back, her nails raking long bloody trails down it. It wasn't the first time I had bled tonight, but the slight edge of pain only served to heighten the pleasure to unimaginable levels.

I lost all semblance of control and began to thrust in and out as fast as I could possibly go. She was crying out now, a marked contrast to her earlier subdued moans and my voice joined hers. This was what it meant to be alive. This was the absolute essence of freedom.

"Jack..."

I felt her whole buddy shudder again and clench hard around me, and it was enough to send me hurtling over the peak. I felt my mind go blank in a moment of utter bliss as I released myself within Jack, her voice ringing in my ears.

**Shift**

Twin trails of smoke spiralled lazily to the ceiling. I watched them reach as high as they can go, then twist and coil into nothingness.

I tapped the excess ash from my cigarette into an ashtray. My other hand was holding Jack's hand. I felt...comfortable. Fulfilled. Whole.

"My God," said Jack eventually. "I haven't been fucked like that since...well...ever."

I turned my head to look at her. She did the same.

"You're just saying that."

"I'm not, Jack. You were gentle. You knew what I wanted. You made me feel fucking spectacular. That was the best sex I've ever had."

I blew more smoke into the air. "That's because we made love."

"So this is love, huh? Hmm. I could get used to this."

I took her hand and held it against my chest. I could feel my heart thumping steadily against my ribcage. This wasn't the heart I was born with. The Illusive Man had given it to me. He was, quite literally, my creator. Did that make him my god?

If he was God then I must be a combination of Lucifer and Nietzsche. I had rebelled against my creator. I had denied his authority over me, denied the purpose with which he had ordained my life. I had struck out on my own to forge my own destiny. I was seeking freedom.

The freedom I sought was embodied in the young woman with whom I had just made love. We were both victims of our creators, scarred and twisted in our own way. My heart no longer belonged to the Illusive Man. I was no longer his plaything. I had chosen to give it to Jack, and my future path lay by her side, to whatever end.

"Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"I want to know why you felt you were ready."

Jack took a hit of nicotine. She looked slightly irritated.

"Why do you want to know?"

I wasn't expecting that.

"Why do you need to know?" she continued. "Why is it so important to you? Can't you just accept that I was ready and move on?"

"Because you're important to me. What you think, what you feel...I want to know that, Jack. I want to know the person you are. That's what love _is_."

Jack stubbed out her cigarette.

"If I say it I'm going to sound fucking stupid."

"Come on. I won't laugh. Promise."

"It's just that...I didn't think I was good enough for you."

"What?"

"You said you wanted to know, so I'm telling you. Don't interrupt."

"Sorry."

"Let's face facts Jack. You are – or were – the biggest and most famous human hero in the entire galaxy. I'm an ex-con who was tortured and experimented upon to create a living weapon. If this were some kind of holovid, we wouldn't have a chance in hell of being together."

"I'm glad this isn't just a story."

"Jack, I know what I am. I'll never have tits or ass like the cheerleader. Hell I don't even have as good a body as your last bitch girlfriend."

"I don't care about - "

"_Don't interrupt. _I kill people for fun. I swear every other word. I've been used and thrown away by pretty much everyone I ever trusted. But despite all that, you said you loved me. And I believe you."

"Uh, good."

"But I never really felt comfortable. I never really felt like this was real. It was as if it was too good to be true, y'know? I didn't dare to believe then. That's why I kept pushing you away. I was afraid that if you fucked me once you wouldn't care about what happened next. I didn't want to lose you."

"So what happened?"

"You did, Jack. After I blew you off for like the millionth time you still came down to find me. I never thought I'd see a pretty soldier boy like you shedding blood in the Grinder."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. When you talked about dragging me into your world, you were right. I don't know if I can change completely. I'll try, but I don't think it can be done. But the important thing is that you were willing to change for my sake. For me."

Jack snuggled closer to me and draped her arms across my chest, her mouth level with my ear.

"That's all I needed to know," she whispered. "That's all I ever wanted. No one ever gave enough of a shit about me to want to change themselves. You did. You were willing to embrace my world. And that's enough."

I flicked the cigarette away and leaned over to kiss her.

**Shift**

It had been a few days. Jack and I mostly stayed in our cabin, doing very little except to drink and smoke and make love. When we felt that we needed the exercise, we would sneak out and head back down to the Grinder, just for the hell of it. Despite Dr. Chakwas's careful ministrations, I was acquiring an impressive set of scars and bruises. I think she was tired of hearing 'I fell down some stairs'. At least she managed to give me a replacement tooth.

I thought a lot about what Jack had said that night. It was true, every bit of it. It wasn't fair of me to expect her to change for my sake without doing the same in return. After being cut from the Alliance, it seemed like a great way to make a fresh start.

"What's it like, not being a soldier?" Jack asked, after gulping down a shot of asari liquor.

"Strange."

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked carefully.

I considered. "Eventually. But not right away."

She let it go, and soon I was jumping into the ring to kick the shit out of a poor salarian.

We went back to the Normandy together, my arm around her shoulder, her arm around my waist. I was up to three packs a day now, and soon I'd be causing more air pollution than the Illusive Man.

"EDI, could you tell Carolyn I need to see her? Need her to patch up a few scrapes I seem to have inexplicably gotten..."

"I am sorry sir, but Yeoman Chambers has instructed me to inform you that the Council left a message. They wish to see you in the Chambers at your earliest convenience."

"Like, now?"

"Yes."

"You mean like, right now?"

"Yes."

I looked at Jack, and shrugged. My face had been battered almost beyond recognition, and I was bleeding from a nasty cut just under my left eye. I had managed to save my clothes though. I felt like a new man in my jacket, jeans and shades.

"Let's go then. Oh and EDI, contact the specialists and tell them to meet me at the lobby of the Council Chambers at once. Thanks."

"With pleasure, Shepard."

**Shift**

I waited in the shade of a nice big tree, thumbs hooked into my pockets, whistling a merry tune. From time to time I would take a puff. Some moron C-Sec officer tried to arrest me for smoking and couldn't run away fast enough when I revealed my Spectre status. Jack had wandered off to buy a snack.

"Hey Shep!" called a cheery voice. It was Kasumi, and I couldn't help noticing that she was leaning on Jacob's arm. They were both in civvies, which I'd never seen before. For a moment we took in each other's odd appearance, and burst out laughing at the same time.

"Hey Kasumi. Jake, how you been."

"I'm good, Shepard. You don't look so hot though."

"What, this?" I said, indicating my latest injury. "Merely a flesh wound. I uh, ran into a door."

"Must have been a hell of a door."

"You're smoking," Kasumi observed. "I didn't know you smoked."

"I do now."

We made small talk until the rest of the team arrived. Miranda walked up, looking lovely in an elegant blue dress. Tali arrived with Joker lagging behind, and she immediately launched into a spiel of all the new upgrades she had bought for the Normandy. Grunt and Mordin came together, arguing animatedly about the krogan Rebellions without stopping for breath. Thane appeared as if from out of nowhere. He had gone to visit his son Kolyat, who was apparently making a name for himself as one of Zakera Ward's most efficient C-Sec officers. Finally Garrus arrived with Legion in tow. The pair sported an impressive new array of weaponry, particularly sniper rifles. Samara had already taken her leave and Zaeed had buggered off as soon as we had reached the Citadel and he had been paid. No one knew where he was.

"This should be interesting, Shepard," commented Thane. "I've never been in the Council Chambers before."

"Professionally or personally?" joked Garrus.

"Neither. I wonder what the price would be for assassinating one of the Council. I imagine you would be able to buy your own planet for the same fee."

"We should take out the Council, Shepard," rumbled Grunt. "They're the toughest opponents in the galaxy. Kill them all and reign supreme."

"Oh I don't know. They might come in handy. And keep the 'kill Council' thing quiet, would you? We're in the heart of the Presidium, we'd get shot just for thinking it."

"That shouldn't be a problem for a Spectre, would it?" asked Miranda. There was a hint of teasing in her voice. She knew about the Al-Jailani thing. She definitely knew.

I breathed smoke in and out. "Well obviously."

"Shouldn't we get going?" asked Tali.

"Hang on a sec, I'm waiting for Jack."

My cigarette had burned down to a stub before Jack showed up, carrying a bag full of food.

"What did you get?" I asked.

"Oh, you'll like this. Fried squid on a stick, from three different planets. There's regular Earth squid, some kind of asari calamari, and a piece of Tuchankan waterbeast. That shit is disgusting."

"Sweet. But stow it for now, we have a meeting coming up."

"Whatever."

I took Jack's hand and led the way into the Council Chambers. I distinctly heard Kasumi whisper fiercely to Jacob.

"See? Told you they're together."

Jack and I looked at each other and smiled.

**Shift**

"It's a geth!" screamed one of the security officers as we trooped inside. "It's trying to infiltrate the Council!"

Everyone turned to stare at Legion.

"Geth do not infiltrate," it stated.

"It's standing right there! Shoot it!"

"Correction: Geth do not intentionally infiltrate."

"Calm the hell down, you moron," I said, stepping in. "This here's one of them friendly geth. It's with me."

"Shepard? Well, if you say so..."

Everyone watched us very closely after that little escapade. The security team made it a point to take away everything we were carrying that could be possibly construed as a weapon. Garrus wasn't about to let go of his rifle that easily, and you'd be amazed at the number of small knives, darts, poison capsules and explosives that Thane could conceal on his person. Once we were declared clean we were free to leave.

Joker was giving Thane a sideways look. "And you carry all this shit around with you because?"

"A good assassin is never unprepared. Of course, the best assassins are those who use only the tools that the gods have granted them. Amon-Kira guides their hands."

"Are you saying you can pretty much kill anyone barehanded?"

"With extreme ease."

Joker sidled behind Grunt, and allowed Thane to walk ahead of him. We walked into the chamber and arranged ourselves around the table, with the Councillors on the other end.

"Evenin' gentlemen, lady," I said politely, nodding at Anderson, Velarn, Tevos and Osbern. They looked at me as though I had grown an extra head.

"Uh, greetings, Spectre Shepard."

"Is that your blood?" asked Velarn suddenly.

I lifted a finger to the cut under my eye. "Some of it, yeah."

They didn't say anything until I cleared my throat. "About the reason for this meeting?"

"Oh, yes. Shepard, we have reviewed your findings, among other pieces of evidence. The weight of proof is beyond doubt. The Reaper menace is a genuine threat to Citadel space."

I jumped up, knocking my chair over.

"Ah-HAH! Finally! You believe me! You stupid pricks finally believe what I've been trying to tell you from day one! Now admit that I was right all along! Go ahead, admit it!"

"Calm down Shepard!" said Anderson. "Of course we believed you!"

"The hell you did, you made me out to be some kind of raving maniac!"

"Shepard, it was done in the interests of galactic stability," explained Osbern. "Look at it logically. How would the average citizen react if we had confirmed your apocalyptic statements of an invasion?"

I was taken aback. "Say what?"

"Really Shepard," said Tevos. "We needed a little more time to investigate the Reapers, but you were out there raising a terrible hue and cry. You were spreading mass panic. The stock market would have crashed beyond repair. There would have been rioting in the streets. We just wanted to calm things down while we conducted our own investigations."

"So...so...you believe me?" I said, utterly dumbfounded.

"I don't," said Velarn. "Never have. I still say it's all circumstantial."

"Regardless of what my esteemed colleague believes, this is a democratic council," said Tevos. "We have cross referenced your findings with that of our other intelligence sources, including the salarian STG and turian secret intelligence. Cautionary preparations have already been made since the attack on the Citadel, albeit in secret. Once we have prepared an airtight case suitable for public release, we can slowly begin the propaganda campaign These Reapers can be destroyed, yes?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Then our task will be to ensure that the rest of the galaxy believes this as well."

"Oh. Right."

The Council then reviewed each of our options in the event of a Reaper invasion. I filled them in about each of the allies I had gathered. The Migrant Fleet, with Tali's assistance. Clan Urdnot on Tuchanka, with Wrex in command and Grunt as their standard-bearer. The non-heretical geth, on which Legion was able to provide further information. Even the Rachni Queen and her kin. And of course, all the vaunted might of the turian war fleets, the asari commando teams, the salarian STG and spy networks, and the Alliance Navy. It was to be a combined army on a mind-boggling scale, the first galactic army in recorded history. It was everything we had to throw at the Reapers. We had to hope it would be enough.

"We should think about recruiting all the other species in Citadel space too. I'm thinking we should re-establish diplomatic relations with the batarians," said Anderson at one point.

"The batarians? Aren't they at odds with human expansion plans?" asked Velarn.

"That may be so, but they've got a stake in this too. Every species deserves their chance to defend themselves."

I went over everything I knew about the Reapers, with my companions filling in the bits that I had missed. Every last scrap of information until I felt like I had been put through the wringer.

"It's not enough," murmured Osbern. "Information and knowledge will be the keys to winning this war and ensuring our survival. We simply have to acquire more information about the Reapers."

"We could have had plenty had Shepard not blown up the Collector base," said Velarn. I glared at him.

"I believe I can help you there, Councillors," said Miranda. "Outside of Shepard's crew, no one has more experience with the Reapers than Cerberus."

"Cerberus? Are you certain, Ms. Lawson?" asked Tevos.

"Yes ma'am. Cerberus had been obtaining pieces of Reaper tech and trying to learn everything they could about it. I was privy to a number of projects, which can be checked out immediately. The Illusive Man will have done his best to shut down anything I had knowledge of, but that will take some time. We might be able to find a few leads."

"A few leads won't be enough," said Anderson. "The most important pieces of information will be at the heart of Cerberus. Might be you have to go through the Illusive Man himself to find out everything Cerberus has."

"That sounds great," said Jack, lounging in her chair.

"An intriguing proposal," said Tevos. "Shepard, what are your thoughts?"

"What do you want me to do?"

"Hunt down every Cerberus cell and find out what they know about the Reapers. If possible, hunt down the Illusive Man and bring him to justice. He might have secrets worth knowing."

"And to do that I have to stamp out every last bit of Cerberus? You're killing two birds with one stone there, getting me to remove that nasty terrorist organisation for you."

"I'm afraid I'm not familiar with human idioms," said Tevos.

"Would you do this, Shepard? It would go a long way towards squaring everything with the Alliance again," said Anderson.

"Don't talk to me about the Alliance, Anderson. I don't give a fuck any more. But blowing up Cerberus? That sounds like fun."

"Only the really messed up projects," warned Jacob. "We have to give a chance to let Cerberus operatives defect and reform. People like me, for instance."

"I stand corrected."

I looked at Jack. "You wanna do this?"

She punched her palm with a fist. "Hell yeah, babe."

Velarn was looking at Jack closely. "Who are you?"

"None of your goddamn business, metalhead."

"Shepard, I demand to know who this individual is! She resembles a fugitive on the run from turian justice."

"You can shove your demand up your ass, Velarn," I snarled. "This is Jack. She's my girlfriend. And that's all you need to know. Now if you'll excuse me, I believe my crew and I have some business to take care of."

I tossed my burnt down cigarette stub onto the table, right in front of Velarn. I lit up a new one, breathed smoke into the air and left the chamber with Jack on my arm.


	19. Unexpected

**Chapter 19 - Unexpected**

**Foreword**

Hey guys, sorry for the long delay. Writer's block, you know how it is. Plus I was working on my other fics. I'm going in a new direction for this next arc, and it'll be interesting to see how well I can write without Bioware's storylines to give me a base. Hope I'm up to the challenge.

Enjoy!

- Finn

**'The Loft'**

**The Normandy**

**On course for Local System**

_Jack,_

_I heard about what happened. I'm furious too. They had no right to take away everything you earned and fought for without at least giving you a chance to defend yourself. There are people in the Alliance who are still on your side. And you know I'll defend you as long as I live._

_It's been a hell of a wait since I sent my last letter. I hope you'll reply to this one. I know open coms are a security risk, but two and a half years is far too long a time for me not to see my son. Pick the time and the place, and I'll be there._

_I love you Jack. I'm so proud of you and what you've done. I know your father would have been proud of you too. Don't let the bastards grind you down._

_Love,_

_Mom_

I turned off the console, making the letter disappear. I sat back in my chair and stared at the ceiling for a while. It was very dark and quiet in my cabin. The only sounds that punctuated the silence were Jack's gentle snores as she lay sleeping huddled up under the covers.

I received the letter a few days ago, and kept opening and reading it over and over. It was nice to know that my mom was still looking out for me, despite her high rank and prominent position. Judging by what happened to Ken, Gabby, Joker and the rest, sticking up for me had to be a politically risky move at the very least. But I knew my mom wouldn't give a damn. She turned down a promotion to Admiral because it was the right thing for her to do. She had raised me with a similar mindset.

I wanted nothing more than to sit down and have a long chat with my mom. I knew she would give me the best advice on what to do next. There was so much I had to discuss with her. The Alliance, Cerberus, the Council, the Collector mission. My mom would be the only one capable of making sense of it all.

Yet a nagging feeling persisted in my mind that she wouldn't be too happy with my new outlook on life. She was expecting me to be devastated at the loss of my Alliance career. On the contrary, I felt better than ever before. In fact I was beginning to wonder why I'd ever signed up in the first place.

And then there was Jack. My mom still thought I was with Ash. I wasn't too sure how she would greet the new love of my life, who happened to be a mass-murdering former science experiment. As open-minded as my mom was, Jack took some getting used to. I was worried either one of their feelings would get hurt.

I watched my fish swim around their tank. Stupid fish. They never had to deal with problems like these. Just wait for their food to arrive once a day courtesy of a cute young red-headed Yeoman.

"What are you up to?" asked Jack. I didn't hear her wake up, but she was staring at me, her eyes barely visible in the darkness. She was sitting up, her knees drawn to her chest. "Come back to bed."

I left my chair and lay down next to her. Although I had pulled my shorts back on, she was still naked. The rest of our clothes were scattered all around the cabin, where we had tossed them after ripping them off each other a few hours ago.

"Nothing much."

"Cut the crap will you?" she said, yawning widely.

"I was just reading a letter."

"From who?"

"My mother."

"Must be nice to have a mom," Jack said casually. "She still checks up on you, huh? You're a little momma's boy."

"Yeah, that's me," I said. I wasn't in the mood for banter, and Jack picked up on it.

"Okay, what's going on? You're acting more fucked in the head than usual," she said harshly. I had no choice but to come clean.

"I haven't seen or talked to her in a while. I'd like to visit, but she still thinks I'm with Ash. I haven't told her about us."

Jack became very still.

"You haven't?"

"It's not that I don't want to," I said quickly. "The last time I wrote to my mom, you were still...you know. We weren't together then. And I haven't contacted her since."

"So what's the big deal? Just send her a letter and tell her. Or is there a problem with that?"

"No. No, there isn't."

"Good," said Jack shortly. She turned over, facing away from me.

"It's just that one letter's not going to be enough after two years of being away. She wants to meet me and I...I think you should meet her."

"I don't know about this."

"Just think about it. Please."

"Jack, I'm not exactly nice-girl-next-door. I ain't even an Alliance bitch like your last girl. What makes you think your mom will like me?"

"I can't speak for her, but I want her to meet you all the same. If you don't get along, we'll work at it. I'm never giving up on us."

Jack didn't say anything. No point in pushing the matter. I lay back and closed my eyes.

After a while I felt her head rest on my chest and her hand holding mine, and in the darkness I smiled.

**Shift**

I opened my eyes. Jack was nowhere to be seen, but I could hear the sound of running water. I went over to my bathroom and knocked.

"Get lost," yelled Jack through the door.

"Come on, I'm late."

"Your fault for not waking up first."

She sounded annoyed, so naturally I opened the door and walked in.

"How long do you need to shower anyway? You don't even have any hair to wash."

Jack glared at me. "That's it, you're dead."

"Nah, I'll just come back to life. I can do that you know. Like woman, I am a mystery." I stripped off my shorts and stepped into the shower. "Room for one more?"

"You wanna come in here Jack, you'd best start getting really creative."

I put my arms around her, feeling the water rush over both our bodies. "I live to serve."

After an enjoyable half hour, I felt we'd better get a move on once my knees began to tremble and my skin started wrinkling up. We dressed and went down to the Mess Hall together.

"Mornin' guys," I said, drawing out a chair for Jack. She looked surprised, but sat down. I took the seat next to her and began pulling every plate within reach towards me.

"Do you mind not smoking at the table, Shepard?" asked Miranda irritably, waving her hand in front of her face.

"Oh, sorry." I dunked my cig in a glass of juice, then gulped it all down. Everyone around the table shuddered in unison.

"What's on the agenda, sir?" asked Kelly.

"Shouldn't we do this in the Briefing Room?"

"We are running a little late."

"Oh. Right. Okay, you all know we're going to the Local System."

"Uh-huh."

"According to Miranda's sources, we're going to investigate a man who has definite links to Cerberus. He's likely responsible for a large part of their funding."

Miranda took over. "His name is Ransom Foley." She waited for someone to make a sign of recognition. When no one did, she shook her head and sighed.

"He's both the CEO and the Chairman of the Board of Sombra Interplanetary Corporation."

"Oh, Sombra!"

"Right, right."

"Hey, I love their toothpaste. They make toothpaste right?"

"No, they make chips. Yeah I definitely ate a bag of Sombra once. I think it was it sour cream and onion."

Miranda was massaging her temples. "Yes, it is a huge corporation. It makes practically everything. That's why it's so wealthy. But I can tell you that Foley is very likely one of the Illusive Man's biggest supporters, financially. He's had a past history of speciesism, although it's all hushed up now."

"'Very likely?'" asked Thane. "Does this mean you are not completely sure?"

"I am about ninety percent sure, Mr. Krios. I knew a lot of things, but the Illusive Man was a suspicious bastard and didn't let me have access to everything."

"Hey, ninety's good," I said. "I'll take ninety. Alright EDI, bring up the scans."

"Sir? You are not currently in a location where I can perform that action."

"What, you can't bring up scans at breakfast?"

"No."

"Ah damnit. Okay everyone, let's just move along to the Briefing Room."

They all did, except for Jack.

"Oi, let's get a move on."

"Screw you, I'm not done eating," she mumbled with her mouth full.

"That's the last time we have morning shower sex. We always run late."

**Briefing Room**

"Take it away EDI," I said, clapping my hands.

EDI brought up the necessary information on her free floating holographic screens, and Jacob passed around copies of the report that Miranda had put together. She worked fast and efficiently, and summarised everything she knew about Foley in short, clipped, double spaced paragraphs.

I took one datapad and scanned it. The language was clear and concise, without unnecessary adjectives or a trace of personal opinion. Just the plain facts, conveying the maximum amount of information in the minimum amount of words, a skill which few people acquired.

Ransom Foley. Age unknown, but in excellent physical condition. The hologram showed an imposing clean-shaven, bald-headed black man. His dark eyes glowed with a fierce intelligence and I immediately sensed he wasn't going to be an easy opponent.

Miranda had dug up some old surveillance footage as well as a few public appearances. Foley getting into his private shuttle, dodging the press. Foley shaking hands with the Premier of China. Foley attending the birthday celebration for the King of England. Foley unveiling a new corporate building. But they were few and far between. I'd seen corporate head honchos with three times as many publicity seeking videos. It was clear he went to great lengths to avoid scrutiny.

"There's not a lot here that we can use," mused Garrus, reading the last page of the report. "Nothing solid, at any rate. Most of it's speculation and guesswork."

"I did my best," said Miranda at once. "It wasn't easy to find out what I did."

"It would be quicker and easier to simply eliminate him," said Thane.

"Let's keep that option open as a last resort. I'd like to keep things quiet this time."

No one in the room could keep a straight face. I could hear Tali snort as she tried not to laugh.

"So ten explosions then, instead of your usual twenty?" asked Garrus with a smirk.

"Very funny." I chewed on a sausage stolen from the mess table while I pored over the reports. As much as I hated to admit it, Garrus seemed to be right. There didn't seem to be anything concrete we could use on him.

"How about basic surveillance?" I said to the room in general. "We follow him around, keep a few tabs on him, try to dig up even more dirt. Eventually we'll find something."

"There's a couple of problems with that," pointed out Miranda, as I knew she would. It was her gift. I didn't mind, it was part of what made her an invaluable Lieutenant. "Shepard, even if it's been nearly three years since you disappeared, you're still one of the most famous beings in the galaxy. And while the Normandy mark two isn't an exact copy of the first one, enough people will be able to point out the resemblance. The return of Commander Shepard to Earth will not go unnoticed, and you can be sure that Foley will hear of it."

I didn't even bother to correct her about the 'Commander' thing. Miranda was right. I was taking a risk by personally overseeing this mission.

"What do we do, sir?" asked Jacob. They were expecting an answer.

I thought it over. "We'll take the Normandy in. There are too many ships going in and out of Earth for it to be easily tracked. We can't dock at Mars or Gagarin Jump Station, we'll stick out like a krogan at ballet class. Much easier to blend in around one of Earth's spaceports.

Miranda's right though. I can't personally be involved, the risk is too great. I won't leave the ship, and direct each of you from up here. We should be able to find something on Foley if we look hard enough."

We talked things over for the next few hours. Joker was setting a nice, steady pace and we had plenty of time before we reached Earth. After a while I noticed Jack sidle into the room and curl up in an empty chair. She took a report and began reading it from top to bottom, apparently engrossed.

"I think basic surveillance's a good place to start," said Kasumi finally. "I could do it quite easily."

"Foley seems to spend most of his time in Hyderabad," mused Garrus. "Where the main corporate headquarters is located. We should start from there."

"We'll dock at Singapore spaceport. Then I want...let's see...you, Kasumi and Jacob to travel to Hyderabad by shuttle. I want daily updates. There's no rush, take all the time you need until you have something."

"Am I missing something here?" asked Grunt. "Shepard, you're a Spectre. You have complete authority to do whatever the hell you want to complete your mission. Let's go in and kill him and burn the building to the ground."

"That's completely out of the question," said Miranda.

"Why?"

"Don't think I haven't thought about it, Grunt," I replied, and from the way Miranda's head snapped back to stare at me, I knew it wasn't the answer she was expecting. "Believe me, there's nothing more I'd like than a little shock therapy, if half the rumours about this bastard are true."

"So let's do it, Shepard. Then we can go find another target."

"My standing with the Council's a little rocky right now. If I raise any more hell they might cut me off. I'd be a rogue Spectre, and they'll send another team to take me down."

"We can kill them."

"Of course we can. But I don't want to have to."

"Uh, sorry Shepard, but I think you're wrong this time." It was Garrus. He actually had his arm raised, like he was back in school, and lowered it hastily as I looked at him.

"What?"

"They won't cut you off. Not while you're the only link to a substantial number of armed forces that will be crucial against the Reapers. You may have burned your bridges with the Alliance -"

"Thanks."

" - but you have the rachni, the krogan, the geth, and the Migrant Fleet personally at your beck and call. The Council won't risk antagonizing you. Even if you say, blow up a planet -"

"Which is about twice a day," quipped Kasumi.

"What is it with you guys about me and explosions?"

"Ya kidding? Shepard, stuff tends to explode around you. That's not an opinion, or even an observation. That's a fundamental physical law of the universe. I think Newton added it in along with the others," said Jacob. Tali laughed, and he got a double high-five from her and Kasumi.

"As I was saying," continued Garrus, "Even if you blow up a planet the Council won't take any action. They might be pressurized by the public to conduct a manhunt, but they won't put any real effort into it."

"Yeah, they'll send the janitor to hunt you down. Or maybe Blasto the Hanar Spectre."

"Blasto's not real, you know."

"Now who's being naive? Blasto's out there, keeping us safe from the scum of the verse. You'll see for yourself one day."

"You essentially have full political and practical immunity," commented Miranda, trying to

"Couldn't have put it better myself, even if it was the turian who pointed it out," said Grunt. "What are you waiting for?"

I considered Garrus's words carefully. I hadn't thought about it that way before, but he was right. Not only was I a Spectre, I was a Spectre with independent backing. I had forged alliances that the Council couldn't afford to lose. I had carte blanche to do whatever the hell I wanted.

"So is it to be assassination then?" rasped Thane.

I turned to face Jack. Her expression was unreadable.

"No. We proceed as planned."

"Why?" asked Grunt bluntly.

"Something Samara taught me. 'Precision is the greatest skill a warrior can master.' At least that's how I think it goes. Perform the smallest action needed to achieve the biggest impact. I _could_ blast my way in and toss Foley out of his office window -"

"I like the sound of that."

"But if you use your biggest gun straight away, you sell yourself short in case something unexpected comes up. As far as we know, this could be a bloodless mission. The information you uncover might be enough to shut him down quickly and quietly. Besides, this is Earth. Home base, you know? Innocent people might be hurt."

"So if it wasn't Earth, you might be more inclined to use excessive force?" asked Thane forcefully. His cold black eyes locked in on mine.

"No," I said emphatically. "I'd do the same whether this was Earth, or Kahje or Palaven or Rannoch."

"That sounds more like the old you, Shepard," said Tali, almost joyfully.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Oh, I was just saying...you know, you've recently...changed. It's not bad, not as such. But you're different."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jack get up from her chair and leave the room, and I fought the impulse to go with her. This was something that needed to be said.

"Look Tali, just because I've acquired a few new 'habits and hobbies' doesn't mean I've completely changed who I am."

"Shepard, let me ask you a direct question," said Kelly.

"Uh, go ahead," I said, surprised.

"Does this have anything to do with your dishonourable discharge from the Alliance? Or your relationship with Jack?"

I glared at her.

"Sorry sir, I just thought this was important to get out in the open."

I dropped my gaze and sighed. "Yeah, you're right. I was pretty shook up when the Alliance told me they were dropping me like a piece of trash. I won't deny that. But I've made my peace with it. For now. In my own way."

The others were looking at each other nervously.

"Well, that's good."

"But as for my relationship with Jack, it's really none of anyone's business. I know you gossip and talk behind our backs, and that's fine. That's normal. Hell, I've done it myself lots of times. But I really don't see the need to discuss it, and that's the end of that."

An uncomfortable silence followed my words. Miranda eventually broke it.

"The mission, Shepard?"

"Right. We'll dock at Singapore. Garrus, you take Jake and Kasumi and use any means necessary to dig up dirt. I want financial records, offworld accounts, minutes of meetings, anything we can use."

"What if we don't find anything?"

"Then it's time to stop speaking softly and bring out the big stick."

**Shift**

"Jack?" I called, walking through the corridors. She was nowhere to be seen.

I went back to the crew deck, and bumped into Ken Donnelly.

"Hi Ken. Have you seen Jack around?"

"I think your lass went to the gym, Cap'n." The engineer had taken to calling me Captain, probably as a result of Tali's influence.

"Thanks."

I went in and saw Jack working with the punching bag. A millimeter before her fist landed it would glow blue and the bag would rock backwards as if Grunt had decked it with all his might. But even from the doorway I could tell she was hitting wild, without thinking about where the next punch was coming from.

"Hey," I said, ducking under the ropes of the boxing ring and climbing in. "Get in."

"Jack? Meeting's over?"

"Yeah."

"So what did the ginger bitch say?"

"You heard her?"

"Please."

"She just wanted to ask after me. About us."

"And I bet you poured your heart out," said Jack, taking a wild swing at me. I shifted right and dodged easily.

"I didn't, as a matter of fact."

"Really?"

"No. Were you expecting me to?"

"Kinda."

"Jack, what we have is special. It's private. I'd never talk about it with anyone else without your knowledge."

I threw a jab that stopped inches from her shoulder. Jack looked surprised, and I grinned. She responded with a haymaker that I had to duck out of the way.

"You wouldn't?"

"Never."

"I don't see why it's a big fuckin' deal, that's all," said Jack, suddenly retreating to a corner and leaning against the post. "We share a bed. We fuck. No, we make...love. You watch my back and I've got yours. End of story."

"It's natural for them to be a little curious. You said it yourself, we're not exactly the most normal of couples."

"Doesn't mean I want them interfering."

"Jack, they're our friends -"

"They're your friends. Not mine."

"They're your friends too."

Jack rolled her eyes, but for once she didn't argue the point.

"What I'm trying to say is that they're curious. But they mean well."

"It's just that...I don't want to screw this up. I don't anything to screw this up. I don't want to be alone. Not anymore."

"You won't be. Not while I'm here."

"You could die at any moment, jackass."

"Yeah, I could. That's why this is special to me. I could die tomorrow. I could get my head blown clean off my shoulders. Or I could live for five centuries. But no matter how much time I have left, I'm choosing to spend every second of it with you. The choice is what gives it worth, don't you see? I'm yours."

Jack looked at me. Then she grinned.

"Damn right you are. And I'm not letting you get away either. If you die on me I'll hunt Death down and kick her ass so hard she'll be begging to give you back."

"Death's a girl?"

"Don't you know _anything_?"

"I know about boxing. You fight like a girl."

"You sexist bastard! I've killed more assholes than you ever will, Spectre boy."

"Not without your biotics you haven't. Come here, let me teach you how to punch. No, really, your timing's all off. No wait – ow! Hey, that hurt – OW! Stop hitting me, I'm not ready yet!"

**'The Loft'**

**The Normandy**

**Singapore Interplanetary Spaceport**

"Holy shit Jack, that was amazing," purred Jack luxuriantly, stretching her arms.

"Unnnh," I groaned, lying on my stomach. I was completely spent and could hardly move.

"I mean, it's always amazing, but that was really fucking amazing."

"Unnnh."

"I think you're getting better with the practise. Doesn't mean you can stop though."

"Fuck's sake, give me a break woman. I'm drained. I need to drink my own weight in water to replace my bodily fluids."

"Don't take too long, or I'll start without you."

I reached around for my cigarettes and lit one up, lying back on my pillow. It had been a week and a half since I'd sent Jacob, Garrus and Kasumi on their mission. After thinking about it I decided to send Thane along as well, for added insurance.

I needed Miranda back at 'base' to coordinate their reports, while Mordin and Tali were better off on board working on their own individual projects. I let them have a free rein, anything they came up with would be far better than anything I could ever dream of. Grunt was beginning to be a bit of a problem though, according to Kelly he was restless down in the cargo hold and paced around constantly.

Miranda's latest update informed me that the team was making good progress. Kasumi had managed to break into the main building and gain entry to their data servers, although the main bulk of the archives was apparently housed elsewhere.

Meanwhile to pass the time, Thane had come up with thirty eight different ways of killing foley and making it look like an accident. Miranda had listed them all down meticulously. With labelled diagrams in colour.

I went over the options in my mind. The information hunt was coming along, surely but slowly. My team could find something and I could break foley to my will. Or I could simply have Thane bump him off, but that presented its own set of difficulties. The new man or woman coming in would have their own background and secrets, and it would take time to sift through them. There was no guarantee they'd be any better than Foley.

There was the scorched earth option, and some part of my brain ached for it. I overruled it. It wouldn't be prudent to indulge my violent urges. At least, not for the moment. Then realisation hit me like a bolt of lightning.

Was it Morinth? Was her presence in my mind actually causing this...change in me? I didn't hear her voice. At least I think I didn't. But I had changed, that was undeniable. I thought I had done so out of my own free will. Out of my love for Jack. But now I had to consider the possibility that it wasn't the case. That this new me, the person Jack loves, was something artificial. A creation of an alien intruder. I wondered if I should talk to someone. Maybe contact Samara.

Fuck it. I breathed out the smoke and felt better.

"Jack?"

"No I can't go again, I'll die of exhaustion. I'm genetically enhanced, not superhuman."

"I'm not talking about that you jackass! Tell me about your mom."

"My mother?"

"Yeah. The famous Hannah Shepard, captain of...what was it again?"

"The SSV Orizaba. One of only eight dreadnoughts in the Alliance fleet. My mom could blow up a planet if she wanted to."

"I knew you got it from somewhere."

"What do you want to know about? Her career?"

"Why would I want to hear about her career? No, the time you spent with her. What she's like as a mom."

I thought of my mom. How her presence was always felt even when she wasn't around. I don't know how she did it, but somehow she managed it so that either dad was home with me, or she was. Or once in a great while, both of them at the same time.

Home was never permanent, always shifting from station to ship to station again. My friends were other army brats. We learned to swear almost as soon as we learned to talk, giggling at the echoes from the Drill Sergeants as they abused their trainees. We learned to fight immediately after learning to walk. But mom put the fear of God in me, and I quickly learned to keep a civil tongue in my head and my hands to myself whenever she was around. Dad might have been the frontline marine, trained to kill, but at home it was mom's word that was law.

When it came to my mom, I mostly remembered isolated incidents here and there. Sitting at the kitchen table while she patiently showed me how to differentiate an equation. Jumping up and down with me when the London Knights won the Superbowl. Yelling at me when I sneaked into the house at 3 am in the morning, having discovered the joys of a driver's license. Making out with my dad like a teenager when they thought I couldn't see them. Her pride when I was accepted into the Academy. Her hand holding mine during dad's funeral.

Throughout my hectic and constantly changing life, my mom was a rock that never moved, not even for a moment. I trusted her, and I could always, always count on her no matter what fresh hell I managed to land myself into.

I realised I'd been speaking for a quarter of an hour only when my lips ran dry. Coughing, I reached for a glass of water and gulped it down.

Jack had been staring at me throughout, completely absorbed in what I was saying. She cuddled a little closer to me under the covers.

"Wow. You really love her, huh. And it's clear that she loves you."

"Mom and dad taught me almost everything I know. They're responsible for who I am."

"Must be nice," Jack said. I thought I could tell what was running through her mind. Jack never knew her parents, or ever had someone she could trust in or count on. I held her hand and squeezed it.

"Hey, you know what?"

"What?"

"You don't have to miss out, if you want to. You could...you would make a great mom one day," I said slowly.

Jack's eyes grew wide, and she pushed herself away. I had become accustomed to her sudden silences. I berated myself mentally for saying the wrong thing yet again, far too soon.

"Hey. Don't do that."

"Piss off," said Jack, but without real malice. It was almost like an automatic response.

"I'm serious."

"Don't joke about things like that, Jack."

"I wasn't joking."

"Can you hear what you're saying? Me? I've had the most fucked up childhood ever. I couldn't...I can't..."

"You won't be alone."

Silence.

"That is, if you wanted. Just...just think about it."

"Jack now I _know _you're more fucked in the head than I am. We've been together for what, a few months? Why are you laying this on me? Why are you saying this now?"

"I just want to let you know that you don't have to be afraid. Of the future. Of us. Of the future we're going to have together. This is what's real, I know it is."

More silence.

"Look, I'm sorry. Maybe I spoke too soon," I said, getting up from the bed. I leaned down and kissed Jack on her forehead. "I won't talk about it if you don't want to talk about it, but just think it over. I love you."

I wrapped a towel around myself and went down in the elevator. Looking around furtively, I dashed across the crew deck in the direction of the lounge to search for more liquor.

"Sir."

"Jesus! EDI, you scared the hell out of me."

"I'm sorry sir. Ms. Lawson asked me to contact you. She says it's urgent."

"But I'm not dressed..."

"She says it's very urgent."

Shrugging, I went over to Miranda's office, but before I could buzz the door it slid open and she ran out, colliding into me.

"For the love of – Shepard! There you are! We need to get to the Briefing Room right away!"

"What's the rush?"

"Jacob missed the deadline for his daily report about half an hour ago. I've been trying to contact him and the others without success. Then I received a message from Foley."

"What, directly from him?"

"Yes. I've got a bad feeling about this."

We hurried towards the Briefing Room.

"Um Shepard, why are you wearing a towel?"

"You don't really want to know."

"I suppose not."

We reached the Briefing Room, and at Miranda's command EDI began to play the holographic message from Ransom Foley.

His image hovered in the air, almost a head taller than I was. It was a recorded message, not real-time, yet I could feel the menace as clearly as if he was standing there right before me.

"Commander Shepard. Apparently you have seen fit to take an interest in my affairs. You could have arranged a pleasant face-to-face meeting, but instead you resort to criminal activity."

His lip curled in a sneer. "I expected better from the so called saviour of the galaxy. With all your power, with your Spectre status, and yet you dare not challenge me openly."

I was itching to set the record straight, but he went on. "I've captured your 'associates'. They're currently being held in a secure location, enjoying my hospitality. It would be well within my rights to tear them to pieces. I'm sure you would wish to avoid that, so I'm making you an offer. You contact me and arrange a meeting. Then we can discuss business. You have twenty four hours."

The hologram fizzled and disappeared.

"Goddamnit!"

"They must have been careless," said Miranda, her face very white. "I would never have imagined Jacob and Thane being discovered by _corporate _security."

"Okay. Contact everyone, inform them of the situation, tell them to prepare for possible combat. Foley might attack us. Tell Tali to prep the engines and Joker to get his ass back in that chair. I want scanning done for the team, maybe we can pick up a trace -"

"Sir?"

"What is it, EDI?"

"Yeoman Chambers has just forwarded another message. It's from the Alliance."

Miranda and I glanced at each other.

"Play it."

It wasn't a hologram this time, but a letter.

_To: _

_Agent Shepard_

_Special Tactics and Reconnaissance_

_Citadel Council_

_Intelligence confirms that Ransom Foley has apprehended three individuals believed to be associated with your squad. We were in the process of conducting our own investigation into the activities of Foley when your operatives were discovered. We believe there is much to be gained by working together on this case. If you wish to meet with our own agent in the field in charge of this investigation, contact us._

_Alliance Intelligence Agency_

"It's a trap."

"Who are you, Admiral Ackbar? If they wanted me dead they wouldn't resort to something so clumsy. I'll say yes, we don't have the slightest idea where Foley's taken the others."

"The letter said _three_ individuals, not four. Who escaped? And if so, why didn't he or she contact us?"

"I don't think we're going to like the answer to that question."

I sent back a reply in the affirmative, and barely a minute had passed before another one arrived. It stated that the Alliance agent would be arriving in Singapore in about a couple of hours.

"Brief the crew, please. I need to go put on some pants."

**Shift**

I waited on the bridge for the agent, Miranda alongside me. Jack and Mordin and Tali and Grunt and Legion were waiting in the Briefing Room. Joker was already in his pilot's chair, complaining loudly about his shore leave being cut short.

"...and I picked up this chick? She had the most amazing body, you would not believe it. And now I'm stuck back here! Can you imagine all the sex I could be having?"

"Shut up Joker, you already had a week of leave on board the Citadel. Time to earn your keep."

"On this salary? You've got to be kidding."

"Airlock engaged," announced EDI. The hatch opened and in stepped two very serious looking men in impeccable suits and ties.

"Hello, I'm Shepard," I said, walking towards them. "Let's get started, shall we?"

But the men ignored me. One of them tapped an omni-tool, checked for something and having been satisfied, nodded at the other. Number two tapped his communicator.

"Ma'am? All clear, you may enter."

A woman stepped in and my heart literally stopped beating. My blood froze in my veins.

Dark hair in a neat bun. Warm brown eyes. Olive skin, and long coltish legs that seemed to go on forever. She was in civillian wear, a flight jacket over a tight t-shirt, tighter jeans and combat boots. An outfit almost exactly like mine.

She looked into my eyes and I fought to stay conscious.

"Hello John."

"_Ash?_"


	20. Crossroads

**Chapter 20 - Crossroads**

**Foreword:**

Hello my amazing readers, thank you so much for your wonderful reviews, views and feedback. It all helps when I'm writing, really does. There are two things I want to mention.

1. Some of you might question Jack's behaviour in this chapter, but if you've ever read an excellent, excellent trilogy of books by Swedish author Stieg Larsson, you might recognise a little bit of Lisbeth Salander in her. Lisbeth is one of the best characters I've read in the past ten years or so, and happens to be very similar to Jack's with regards to her philosophy and appearance. If you haven't read the books, do yourself a favour and pick them up. You might recognise it from the movie; _The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo._

2. I know it's a long shot, but I frequent the websites TV Tropes and Live Journal and I was wondering if this fic would be deemed worthy enough of a fanfic recommendation for the Mass Effect and Jack fans. If any of you think so, feel free to submit it because I believe they're a little leery of creator submitted pieces of work. I'd be most grateful if any one of you would care to take the time.

As always, PM any time if you have questions or comments or want a review for your own story. I like discussing my work with you guys, and yours in return.

Enjoy!

**The Normandy**

**Singapore Interplanetary Spaceport**

"Hello John."

"_Ash?_"

Ashley Williams was once again on board the Normandy with me. It should have felt familiar, like a homecoming. A reunion of two old friends. But it didn't feel right, there was way too much history between us. She didn't look surprised or as shocked as I felt however, clearly her superiors had already informed her I was in the area. Her lips were turned up in a gentle smirk, as if she was enjoying my discomfort.

"You're the Alliance agent?" I managed to say. It was all I could think of.

"Isn't it obvious?"

"But you're a marine!"

"After I left the Normandy the AIA came calling. I was already an agent when we met on Horizon."

I scratched my chin, where Chakwas had to stitch up a particularly nasty cut. "I guess that's something else you and Anderson kept from me."

Ash gave me pitying look, the kind I remembered from before. Usually after I'd made some dumb wisecrack. "You were working with Cerberus. I couldn't risk jeopardising my own investigation, and neither could Anderson."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Miranda tense up involuntarily.

"The mission, Shepard?" she said archly. "Might I remind you that our team is in danger? Every second we waste could mean the difference between life and death."

"I remember you," said Ash. "The woman from Cerberus. I don't think we've been properly introduced."

"My name is Miranda Lawson, _agent. _That's all you need to know."

They locked gazes, each trying to intimidate the other. If an insect had flown into the path of their glares it would have been flash fried in an instant. Ash's guards let their hands ease towards the inner pockets of their suit jackets, where weapons were undoubtedly concealed. Joker slumped so low in his chair he was practically lying on the floor.

"Let's just go to the Briefing Room," I said, trying to break the tension. Miranda turned on her heel and stalked off without another word.

"Charming," remarked Ash. Then her face lit up as she saw who was sitting in the pilot's seat, and the contrast was like night and day.

"Joker!"

"Hi – uh – Chief Williams."

"Not Chief, not any longer."

"There's a lot of that going on nowadays," Joker muttered to himself.

"What?"

"Uh, nothing. It's good to see you too. Just like the old days, right?"

"I hope so. More than you think," she turning to me and smiling brightly. I think she tried to reach for my hand, but I moved away before she could do it.

"I'll lead the way there. Follow me," I mumbled. Ash looked surprised.

"You look different," she commented, walking along the bridge.

"Thank you."

"I didn't say you looked better. Why are you in civvies?"

"Why are you?"

"I can't wear armour during an investigation, it just screams 'the Alliance is here!' I've never seen you in anything other than standard issue, John."

"Yeah well, people change. More than you think."

"I know," she said, almost sadly.

I had no idea what to make of her return. The Alliance was fucking with me. They had to be! Of all the millions of agents employed by the AIA, they just happen to send my former friend and lover to assist in this case. The urge to hurl a grenade through the window of whatever pRansom who made this happened thundered across my brain.

Ash had sent me more letters after the first one just after Horizon. I'd deleted all of them without reading first. Eventually they just stopped arriving. I did feel a little sad then, but also relieved in a way. It was as if I'd closed the door on that chapter in my life. Now it had been flung wide open again.

Maybe I should have kept in touch. But it seemed simpler and cleaner to cut off all contact completely. Over time it had gotten easier just not to think about it. Especially now that I was with...Jack...

This wasn't going to end well.

The door to the Briefing Room hissed open, and I was greeted with the puzzled stares from my crew. Miranda was already inside, sitting on a chair furthest away from the door with her arms folded.

"Guys, the agent from the Alliance has arrived," I said, feeling slightly stupid. "Miranda, I don't suppose you've told them - "

"No, Shepard," said Miranda, glowering. "I left that delightful formality up to you."

"Some of you might already know who she is. Her name is - "

The suits stepped into the room, and took up positions on either side of the door. Ash sauntered in, and went to stand next to me. I heard Tali gasp in shock.

"Ashley Williams," I finished.

Grunt and Legion remained unmoved, insofar as a krogan and a geth could show a discernable facial expression. Mordin's eyebrows were raised, he looked as though he recognised the name and face. Tali stood up and came over to give Ash a friendly hug, which she returned.

Mentally bracing myself, I glanced at Jack. I was greeted with a look that was a combination of pure burning hatred and naked disgust.

"Hi guys. Like John said, we've worked together before. Our Normandy wasn't quite so nice though. This one's definitely bigger and better," said Ash.

"But I'm not here to reminisce. The Alliance sent me here because of the mission. I know Foley. I've spent nearly a year investigating him, as a matter of fact. I've been forced to move openly because he's captured three of your teammates. That's where you guys come in."

"Hey," said Jack, waving her arm almost casually. Ash looked at her, taking in her unconventional appearance without comment. "I've got a question."

"You're wondering if the Alliance's been working on this for so long, why would we need you guys," said Ash, nodding her head. "You see, the thing is -"

"No, that's not it." Jack took a deep breath, and then exploded. "WHAT THE _FUCK_ ARE _YOU_ DOING HERE?"

Ash turned to me. "You wanna make the introductions, Skip?"

"This is Jack," I said miserably. "She's my girlfriend."

Ash's eyes widened, and they flicked over to where Miranda was sitting. The ex-Cerberus operative actually smiled coldly, the first time she'd done so today.

"No, you've got the wrong woman. I tried though."

"Oh, she doesn't even know?" demanded Jack. "This gets better and better. What the fuck are you playing at, Jack?"

"Can we leave my personal life out of this for two bloody seconds? We're supposed to planning a rescue mission!"

"I don't care why you're here, bitch," snarled Jack, ignoring me. She had sprung out of her chair and crossed the room in a couple of seconds to stand nose-to-nose with Ash. Somehow she managed to do it while being a head shorter.

"I don't care if you're Alliance. Hell, I don't care if you're God almighty. You stay the fuck away from Jack, or I will kill you," she said, venom dripping from every syllable.

The two suits drew pistols from their jackets, but Ash held out a hand and they refrained from raising their weapons. Jack was glowing blue, the biotic energy surrounding her body flashing like a bolt of summer lightning in the sky. It made the hairs on my arm stand on end.

"Stand down," Ash said sharply to her guards.

"Give me a reason!" Jack screamed. "Come on!"

"Are all your shipmates this friendly, John?" Ash said to me, keeping her eyes on Jack's. I was impressed. If Jack had been looking at _me _like that I would have been running for my life in the opposite direction. It was the same look of fury that she was wearing right before she blew apart three YMIR mechs.

I tried to step in to separate them, but Ash was already speaking.

"Jack, was it? Strange coincidence...anyway, let me make a few things clear."

"I'm going to enjoy killing you. I really am. I think I'll start with your head. I'll rip it off and shove it up your tight ass."

"Number one," said Ash, as though she hadn't heard. "John and I broke up. At least I think we did. He never actually said so."

My feeling of guilt intensified, then I wondered what I was feeling guilty about, then I got mad at being confused about my guilt.

"Best fucking thing he ever did."

"Number two; all the personal shit is none of your goddamn business. John's still my friend. If I want to talk to him, I'll do so. Without your permission."

"I think you're deaf as well as retarded. If you do that, I'll kill you."

"Three; we're supposed to be on a mission here. If we can't work together as a team Foley will get away and you'll never see your friends again."

"I couldn't give a fuck," growled Jack. She jerked her arm, and the guns in the hands of the guards flew out of their grasp and hovered in mid-air. A second later and they were crushed into a twisted ball of metal, dropping onto the floor with a forlorn thud.

One of the guards tapped his communicator and started to speak, but Ash stopped him with another glance.

"I said stand down. I have this under control."

"I'll show you under control!"

"Jack, please!" I roared. "Save it! This is not the time, I have to save the others! Kill me if you want to later, but _this is not the time."_

Jack seemed three seconds away from hauling off and tearing me limb from limb. I put every ounce of will I had into my stare. It was my goddamn fault that four of my crew were lost. My personal problems were holding up the rescue attempt. If we didn't manage to save them in time I would never be able to forgive myself.

Then, as quickly as one flicks a switch, Jack went and sat back down. She lit up a cigarette and sucked in the smoke as if it was water to a dying man. I felt like a hit myself, I needed to settle my nerves.

"Okay," I said, trying to stop my hands from shaking. "Can we all just take a breath...sit down...and talk this through." I deliberately walked away and sat down on the chair closest to Jack. Just as deliberately she turned in her seat and refused to look at me.

"Tell us what you know about Foley," said Miranda loudly, trying to inject a measure of sanity back into the situation.

"Very well, the quick version," said Ash in clipped tones. "Ransom Foley has been under AIA investigation for the past year. I was personally attached to the case as the agent in charge only in the last six months or so however. He is suspected of funnelling Sombra Corp money into a secret slush fund which goes directly to Cerberus. Unfortunately our best hackers and operatives have not been able to unearth definitive proof of his crimes. We've got a few witnesses under wraps, some records, but the bastard's got a legal team better than Satan and if we arrest him at this stage, he'll just get off scot free."

"How does this concern us?" asked Mordin.

" About a couple of weeks ago I was surprised to see someone I knew back in town. Garrus Vakarian," said Ash, winking at me. Beside me Jack clenched her fist so hard that if she ha been holding a can it would have been crushed.

"We missed the return of the Normandy back in Local space, but Garrus was unmistakeable," continued Ash. "I ordered him to be placed under watch, and it soon became apparent that he was working in tandem with two other individuals, a human and a drell."

I exchanged a glance with Miranda. _One human? _Ash had spotted Garrus, Thane, and one of either Jacob or Kasumi. Who was missing, and why? From the way Miranda narrowed her eyes at me, it was clear she wanted me to keep silent, at least until she got the chance to talk to me.

"I received word from Foley not too long ago," I said. "He informed me that he had taken them hostage. Do you have anything on that?"

"Yes," said Ash. "One of my men happened to be in the area when Ransom launched his attack on your crewmembers' base. They were brought out, and taken to the main building. I had surveillance mounted on Sombra Corp round the clock until something happened."

"Why didn't you do something to stop it?" asked Tali.

"The abduction? Only one of my guys was in the area, and it happened too quickly to call in reinforcements. Besides, there's the whole legality question."

"Presumably referring to the fact that Normandy crew are not acting on behalf of Alliance, possibly lingering concerns over tenuous links to Cerberus," said Mordin.

"Uh, yes."

"Doesn't matter. Shepard has Spectre status. Citadel law supercedes human law due to Council member status. Has full authority to complete mission as he sees fit. Alliance authority not applicable."

"That may be the case," said Ash. "But I'd prefer if we pooled our resources. That is, if John's willing."

"I don't care how we do it. We have to get them back."

"Any ideas?"

"EDI, bring up the message from Foley," said Miranda. EDI had been instructed to act like a VI as much as possible. We didn't want to let the Alliance know that we had access to full-fledged AI technology.

"Yes, Ms. Lawson," said EDI, as robotic and as devoid of emotion as any other VI.

When the message was over, Ash looked at me thoughtfully.

"He wants to arrange a meeting? We might have something there."

"What do you have in mind?"

"We go in and find out what he wants. He might let something slip."

"You're not going in alone with Shepard, bitch," snapped Jack suddenly, slamming her fist on the table and making everyone jump. "Remember what I said."

"This is my operation. Deal with it."

Jack whirled around in her seat to face me. "Jack. You do this and we're done. I'm warning you."

"Jack, I need their help."

"No you don't. We storm the fucking place, break a window and hold the fucking bastard eighty stories above the fucking street. We do it now and get them back in a couple of hours."

"I can't take that chance," I said desperately. "Foley might order them killed if anything happens to him. Ash, please, choose someone else. Don't make me do this."

"Yeah, Jack can go with Miranda," said Jack, jerking a thumb at the XO. Miranda looked stunned. This marked the first time Jack had ever referred to her by her given name.

"This is my operation," Ash repeated. "I want to get a good look at the man and assess him for myself. I'm going in."

Jack stood up and kicked her chair back so hard it crashed into the wall behind her and toppled over.

"So long Shepard. Thanks for fucking everything," she said, and stormed out of the room.

"Jack, no! Wait!" I shouted, running after her.

I caught up with her on the bridge and grabbed her arm. She shook it off and continued walking.

"For Christ's sake Jack, where the hell are you going?"

"Anywhere that bitch ain't."

"I need you for this."

"No, you don't. You're doing things her way."

"Jack please, you're making this so bloody difficult."

Jack stopped in her tracks.

"I'm making this difficult? How do you think I feel, Jack? How do you think it feels when your old girlfriend just walks in like she fucking owns this ship and gets all comfortable with you, just like 'the old days?'"

"Jack, you asked me once if there was still something between her and me. You asked if I'd take her back. I said no, and the answer is still no. I don't understand why you can't fucking trust me!"

"It's easy to say no when she's far away on another planet."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Tell her to fuck off. We go in and blow shit up. That's the way we do things."

"No, I can't do that."

"Why the fuck not? Blowing shit up is what you do."

"Because..." I had to fight to put what I was thinking into words. Did I want to storm in and blow up the main building of Sombra Corp? Hell yes. But was it because of that goddamn Ardat-Yakshi infesting my brain? Lives depended on me, and suddenly where I had always been a hundred per cent sure what I was doing was right, my conviction was wavering. I could not afford to make decisions when my decision-making capabilities were suspect. Lives depended on me.

I had to fight to put it into words. I failed.

"I can't."

"You mean you won't."

"No, I can't. I'm not going to risk lives. Jack, I'm begging you. Jake and Kasumi. Thane. _Garrus. _I love that leatherfaced bastard like a brother.I need to get them back. I need you to help me, and trust me once more."

"I trust you. I don't trust her."

"Nothing is going to happen!"

"Then tell her that!"

"I already did! Is this how it's going to be? Am I not allowed to talk to another woman for the rest of my life?"

"That's not what I - "

"Jack, I'm fucking sick of this! Every bloody day I'm trying. I'm trying so hard but you keep fucking with my head. Haven't I done enough to make you trust me? What the fuck else must I do?"

Jack took a step backwards.

"You're _sick _of this? Is that how you feel? About us?"

"God, no, I didn't mean -"

"One thing, Shepard! One thing! Just fuck her off and we can go!"

"_I cannot do that!_"

"Then I'm out of here."

I stood dumbstruck.

"Jack, please. Not again. You're breaking my fucking heart. I swore to God never to hurt you, but you're hurting me worse than anything I've ever felt. Just...just stop this."

Jack gave me an odd look. I think she was trying not to cry. "Thanks for being my friend." And then she was gone. It took the sound of the hatch closing before I realised what just happened.

"You want to go? Fucking go!" I screamed impotently at the empty bridge. "I can't fucking take this shit any more!"

Then I turned and stormed back to the Briefing Room.

**Shift**

We discussed for a long time what kind of message we were going to send to Foley. In the end I decided to make it as simple as possible.

_I'll talk. Time and place._

_Shepard_

I sent it away and lit up another cigarette with my trembling fingers. I had been chain smoking constantly since returning to the Briefing Room, and a blue fog hung over my head. Nobody dared to comment, not when they noticed Jack hadn't returned with me.

I sat and smoked and shook and tried not to think about what had just happened. Tried not to think of the Ardat-Yakshi in my brain. Tried not to think of three of the best men and one of the best women I'd ever known getting hacked to pieces by faceless goons wielding chainsaws. Tried not to think of the fact that I felt worse than at any point I ever had since the Illusive Man breathed life into my broken corpse.

Just don't think. Move forward on autopilot.

The message console pinged and EDI put it up for us to see. The reply was equally curt.

_Tomorrow morning, 9 am Sombra Corp building. Wait at the lobby. No weapons, no recording devices._

"We have a time and place," said Miranda. "We still need a plan."

"We won't have one until we find out what he wants," said Ash.

"Go in there unarmed? Just talk?" said Miranda skeptically.

"You guys can be the backup if he tries to kill us. But that's not going to happen. I've watched Foley for a long time now. He's all about business. He won't do anything rash."

"What about our friends?" asked Tali.

"Remember, my people are checking every available port, shuttle station, runway and highway in and out of Hyderabad. Once they find something they'll let me know."

"It looks like we have no choice," said Miranda. "Shepard, is there anything else?"

Silence.

"Shepard?"

"Huh? What?"

"I said, is there anything else?"

I rubbed my forehead, wishing I had a painkiller. I felt like shit and it was safe to say that I looked like shit as well. I needed to eat something, my stomach was screaming at me. It had been hours since breakfast. But most of all, I needed Jack. She had run out on me again and still I hadn't learned my lesson. I was still waiting for her to come back when in all probability she had left for good.

"No. There's nothing. You know what to do. Let's prepare for 9 am tomorrow."

With that, I got up and left. Miranda followed me and stopped me in the corridor.

"Shepard, you can't go on like this."

"No Miranda. No, I really can't."

"Is there anything you want to tell me?"

"What?"

"Do you need to talk, Shepard? You've been so stressed lately. I'm not the Yeoman and I might not be your girlfriend but I'm still your friend. What's going on?"

I was so mentally exhausted that I didn't even contemplate lying.

"It's the Ardat-Yakshi. Morinth. She left an imprint of herself within my mind before she died and I'm afraid it's influencing my thoughts."

Miranda looked utterly gobsmacked. Whatever she was expecting, it couldn't have been this.

"Did you talk to someone about it? Samara?"

"I did. She says no one's survived an Ardat-Yakshi attack before, so she's as clueless as I am."

"But there must be something we can do. Shepard, are these like...voices? Like actual voices you can hear?"

"I don't know, Miri," I said miserably. "I know you think I must be insane. Sometimes it's a voice I can hear, as if she's talking to me. But what I'm frightened of is that she's influencing me subconsciously, without being aware of it."

"Shepard, this is dangerous. You can't go to meet Foley tomorrow."

"I have no choice," I sighed. "He wants to meet me in person. And I have to get Garrus and the others back."

"You're right, unfortunately," she said, looking worried. "Just try to be careful, ok?"

I wandered off in the direction of the elevator. "I don't know how anymore."

**Shift**

I lay in bed for a long time, trying not to think. I knew I had to get some sleep, or consume something other than cigarettes. I didn't, and chain-smoked until the last of my cigarettes had burned down to the filter.

I must have fallen asleep at some point, because I woke up and found myself on the floor. I groaned and got to my feet. The faint memories of half-remembered dreams lurked in my mind. Something about a woman. But which one, I had no idea. I seemed to be plagued with them.

According to my clock it was 3 am in the morning. T minus 6 hours. I decided to go down to the mess for a cup of coffee.

The ship was quiet and dark and still, and I was recovering slightly as I sat at the table and enjoyed the feel of the steam on my face. As good as a wake up call.

"Hey Skip."

I looked up. Ash was standing in front of me, again like a damn ghost I couldn't shake from memory. She was wearing the exact same outfit she had on when we fought Saren, a tight navy-blue t-shirt and long military pants and boots. She looked fresh as a daisy, her hair done up in a pony-tail that made her look years younger.

"Hey Chief."

Ash chuckled. "I haven't heard Chief in years. Not till you and Joker." She drew up a chair and sat down opposite me.

"You look terrible."

"Thanks."

"John, you really do. Don't think I didn't notice the cuts on your face. And the broken bones. Looks like someone took a sledgehammer to you. What happened?"

I raised a hand to my chin and rubbed it absent-mindedly. "I got into a fight."

"A fight?"

"More like several fights."

"During your mission?"

"No, the Citadel."

"The Citadel? Who were you fighting?"

"I can't remember."

"You can't remember."

"No."

"I suppose you're going to tell me you don't remember why you were fighting either."

"That's right."

"John...Jack. You're messed up."

"It's your bloody fault," I mumbled.

Ash looked away. "I was hoping we could have a chance to talk. Without that lunatic interrupting us."

I didn't say anything.

She took a deep breath. "Jack...I'm really sorry about what happened on Horizon. I really am."

"Should have said that earlier."

"But I did. In every single one of my letters. I guess you never read them."

"It was easier not to."

"I wish it didn't happen. Not a day goes by without me wishing to take back what I said. I was an idiot."

"What about your investigation?"

"You jerk, if you had let go of Cerberus I would have dropped everything and joined you once more."

"Really?"

"Yes."

I didn't know what to say, so I drank some more coffee. Once I put the cup back down, Ash reached over and placed her hand on top of mine. I should have moved away. For some reason, I didn't.

"Two and a half years. Every single day, Jack. I missed you every single day. Let me make up for that one mistake."

"What are you talking about?"

"Do you think we could...try again? You and I?"

I stared at her. I'd hoped for and imagined this scenario for a good long time after Horizon. Something was different this time however.

The image of a lithe young woman covered in ink flashed across my mind.

"I can't."

"Is it because of her?" asked Ash. I had dropped my eyes and was staring at the table.

"...yes."

"Do you love her Jack?"

"...yes."

"Can I ask why?"

I didn't say anything for a good long time. Ash got up and went round the table to sit down beside me. She took my hand and held it. Finally I opened my mouth. "I don't know right now."

"Think about," said Ash, and her voice had taken on a harder edge. "You don't even know the reason, and you say you love her?"

"Yes."

"You've got together with her right after we broke up, right? Doesn't that remind you of something? Rebound?"

"I know what you're trying to do," I said, though without much conviction. "Don't. Please."

"I'm trying to help you," said Ash. "I know you, Skip. You're not yourself. You're so different, and it's worrying me. After the Alliance wanted to let you go -"

"You know about that, huh?"

"Know about it? Jack, I filed the report. I had to do it. But I was also only one of two people who showed up for that court-martial prepared to defend you. The other was your mom."

"Mama? How is she?"

"She's fine, but pissed off. So am I. The Alliance shouldn't have kicked you out. It's a part of who you are. It was a bullshit decision from a bunch of bullshit politicians and as soon as we're done with this I'm going straight back to that court and see what I can do about getting a reversal of that ruling. And you're coming with me."

"I am?"

"Yes. You don't have to be alone, not any more. Just come back with me and we'll set things right."

Alone. That word triggered something within me.

"I'm not alone."

"Sure you have this crew, but what about the Alliance? Jack, you believe in the Alliance. I know you do. You've served your whole life. This must be devastating for you."

"No, it's not. I feel free. Free to do whatever I want. Without fear of the consequences."

"Listen to yourself," said Ash softly. "Does that sound like you? The real you?"

"Who am I?"

"You are a soldier. You are a marine. You are an officer, and my captain. Jack, you were the man I loved. The man I still love."

"I was going to ask you to marry me," I said. It slipped out without warning. I didn't know why I said it.

"What?" said Ash. She sounded shocked.

"Just before I...just before the first Normandy was destroyed by the Collectors. When we visiting your mom and sisters. Remember?"

"I remember. Jack, I had no idea."

"It was the last thing I remember before I...died. That I never asked you to marry me."

There was a long period of silence. Then Ash held my chin and made me look at her.

"Do you think you might want to ask again?" she said, hesitantly.

I didn't reply. After a while, Ash leaned in. She wanted to kiss me, just like we did countless times back when the world was easier to understand.

But that was then and this is now.

I don't know what to do.

**Afterword:**

Poor Jack Kennedy might not know, but I sure do. Keep reading, this is far from over.

- Finn


	21. The Girl with the Omega Tattoo

**Chapter 21 – The Girl with the Omega Tattoo**

**Foreword**

This chapter will be in 3rd person POV. You'll see why.

Also, credit to the Dutch Warlord for the idea of exploring Jack's background. It will be something I will cover in the chapters ahead.

**State Security Station**

**Hyderabad, India**

"I need to see your identification please, Miss," said the officer.

Kasumi winced. Throughout her long career as a professional spy, thief, and hacker, she had made it her priority to erase every single record of her that ever existed. The hospital where she was born, the schools she attended, even the diner where she waited tables. She had tracked down and destroyed every last one. To the system, she did not exist.

Ordinarily during a job she would make it her first priority to obtain forged licenses and other documentation that would satisfy the occasional inquisitive authority figure, but Garrus had assured her it wouldn't be necessary.

"In and out," he'd said easily, smiling at her. "We go in, get the info and Shepard won't even have to leave the ship."

When she got out of here she was going to ram her omni-tool straight up his -

"Miss. Your identification please," said the officer. He'd lost his bored tone, and sounded a little annoyed.

"I'm not carrying any," she ventured.

"Oh? Why not?"

"It was uh, stolen."

"I see. Could you just tell me the details please."

Kasumi couldn't believe her ears. He was going to take her story at face value? With any luck she would be out of here in a couple of hours. She launched into a story of how her I.D. Chip was stolen by a couple of thugs, along with all her money. Kasumi knew the key to sounding plausible. No grandiose tales of fighting off an army one-handed, just plain and boring as possible.

"...and then he pushed me to the ground and damaged my omni-tool." Brilliant. The fool was taking everything down.

Just then a door opened and another officer came in and whispered something into the first guy's ear. He looked surprised, and shot Kasumi a nasty look. Then the both of them left the room. Kasumi felt her heart sink.

It was a small room with three chairs and a square table, and that was it. There weren't even any big glass windows with two-way mirrors, she had spotted two pinhole cameras covering the whole room when she was led inside. She knew her every move was being recorded, so she just sat and tried not to despair.

It was supposed to have been a simple job. She had done similar jobs before, and could have done it again in her sleep. It wasn't supposed to have ended like this.

**Hours ago**

It was surprisingly easy to get a room in Hyderabad, a city so jam-packed it was a struggle to just walk down the street. It was rather like swimming against a strong current. Kasumi was bumped into and jostled around so many times she felt as though she was inside a pinball machine. Garrus and Thane's alien appearances turned a few heads, but people simply didn't have the time or space to stop and stare. That worked to their advantage.

Old buildings were constantly being torn down and new ones were going up in the city. This meant that for long stretches of time, certain unfinished buildings could be utilised as a base of operations for the team. They had to scare off a bunch of homeless people, but that was relatively easy. The hard part was breaking into the headquarters of Sombra Corp.

A mighty building a hundred and thirty stories tall, made of steel and glass and glittering like a jewel on the banks of the Musi river, the Sombra Corp building utterly dominated the city skyline. Thane commented he would be able to see (and shoot) any person walking around openly in the city from its top floor.

According to Jacob's research, Sombra employed a staggering fifteen percent of the city's population and often made generous contributions to the local community. This in turn meant that they enjoyed greater protection and freedom from the authorities. The word 'corruption' hung in the air like a bad smell, but to Kasumi all massive corporations were by definition corrupt. That's why she had so much fun working to bring them down.

Infiltrating the building was alarmingly easy. She didn't even need her stealth mods to do it. If she wanted to Kasumi could literally disappear from sight, but she discovered early on in her career that the best way of becoming unseen was to be seen yet remain unnoticed.

Posing as one of the janitorial staff wasn't the most glamorous of ways to get the job done, but it worked. People's eyes slid over her as she watched past, thoroughly ignorant of her existence. It was the next best thing to being invisible.

Unfortunately while she had access to all of the building's secrets, the information she found was extremely disappointing. They lacked specifics, names, dates and places, anything that would provide conclusive evidence of Rick Foley's tacit support of Cerberus. She theorised that Foley was keeping the real information hidden elsewhere.

"Why are you certain this man has kept records at all?" grunted Thane. He had his rifle out again, and was recalibrating the sights. Thane got testy when he had nothing to shoot, and all he'd done for days was to formulate plans for Foley's murder. Kasumi had seen some of them, and she had to admit they really were rather good.

"You have to have records," replied Kasumi. "Can't cover your tracks if you don't know where they are."

"This is folly," muttered the assassin. "We waste valuable time sitting here idle. Every day our target remains alive is another gift to Cerberus."

"We have our orders from Shepard," said Garrus. He was examining some more documents Kasumi had managed to lift. The walls of their hideout were plastered from top to bottom with pictures, maps and charts trying to link Foley to Cerberus. It looked like a library had exploded and no one had bothered to clean up, but Kasumi thought she could see a pattern emerging. It was so tantalising to almost see the connections, continually shifting yet always stopping short. If she could just get her hands on a few more details...

Jacob made a disparaging noise. "Shepard's head ain't right, not since the Collector station."

"I thought he was your friend."

"It's because he's my friend that I'm worried. Spending all that time with Jack...can't be good."

"Why not?"

"Have you looked at her lately?"

"Just because she's got some ink..."

"Then take a look at her file. All of her bad blood's on record there. Who Shepard hooks up with ain't none of my business, but if it's going to affect our work I'm going to make it my business."

"Perhaps we should have this conversation back on board the ship," said Thane.

"You bet I will."

"Quiet!" said Garrus suddenly, his neck craned to one side. "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

There was a brief moment a silence...and then the world exploded.

Kasumi was blown off her chair and ended up sprawled under a table. The air was filled with smoke and she couldn't hear a damn thing. There was a shrill ringing in her ears, which mercifully died away. It was replaced by the sound of shouting, which wasn't a whole lot better.

"Kasumi! Kasumi, get up!" Jacob was hauling her to her feet. "You need to get out of here! Tell Shepard the mission's been compromised!"

Before she could do so much as nod, the door was blasted apart and a horde of men in full-face helmets and riot gear poured in. They were carrying long-barelled assault rifles with grenade launchers attached, one still smoking from having fired the flashbang.

"Go, now!" roared Jacob. Garrus was down, there were smoking holes in his armour. Thane's rifle was useless at such close quarters, he tossed it aside and lashed out with his hands and feet. His blows bounced harmlessly off the guard's fortified suits however, and he was taken down hard. Jacob pushed Kasumi in the direction of the emergency escape route and opened fire in the opposite direction.

Half blind and deaf, Kasumi staggered out of the hideout. Some part of her wanted to stay and fight. Jacob was in there, he was in danger and she hated the thought of running away. But ultimately she knew there was nothing she could do. There had to be at least thirty men in there, and she didn't even have a weapon on her.

She cursed as her omni-tool sparked and died. With it she could do pretty much anything. Without, she was stuck alone in a strange land without means of communication or protection.

Distance. She needed to get away as far as possible from the hideout. Jacob had saved her life for one thing. She had to get back and tell Shepard about what happened. Otherwise he would have died for nothing.

She ran as fast as she could down the alleyway, pushing people out of her way. One thought was lodged in her brain. Shepard. Get to Shepard.

The sound of sirens cut through the night air and troop transports surrounded her. Hyderabadi police officers spilled out, aiming their weapons at her.

"Freeze! You are under arrest!"

"_Baka,_" Kasumi swore under her breath.

**Now**

They had left her alone for a couple of hours, without a drink or allowing her a call. She was pretty sure some civil right or the other was being violated, but seeing as how she was in the country to commit a crime the legal process wasn't going to help much.

She was stuck. Kasumi had been in worse scrapes before, but that weren't a lot of comfort at this particular moment. She simply couldn't see a way out. The longer she delayed getting the message to Shepard, Jacob and the others would be in more and more danger. She refused to consider the possibility that he was dead. Not for a second.

Kasumi swept her hood over her head. She was sick of waiting helplessly in a small dank little room. She might not have anything at hand, but she was damned if she didn't at least try to break out on her own.

She pushed the chair away from the table and stood up. At that exact moment, the power went out and the entire building was plunged in darkness.

Kasumi stood stock still for a moment, analysing the situation. She could hear screams, coming from far away. There were the faint sounds of heavy footsteps, as if people were running.

When the emergency power kicked in, the red light illuminated an empty room.

**Hours ago**

**Singapore City**

Jack hated Singapore. It reminded her too much of the Citadel. Towering, imposing buildings covered every available square inch of ground. Trees and bushes and flowers were wound here and there among the man-made constructions like some kind of artificial, committee-designed jungle. They tried so hard to look natural it inadvertently came off as artificial. Shuttles flew through the air without deviating an inch from their set paths. Everything was way too shiny and neat and clean and orderly and disgustingly perfect.

She wanted the environment to reflect what she was feeling on the inside. Something war-torn and hellish, for a start. A nuclear blasted desolate wasteland of broken rubble dotted with puddles of radioactive goo while the shells of once proud buildings, guttered by fire, crumbled away into a heap of ruins. Dead bodies strewn here there and everywhere, while the wails of the living filled the air with the sound of their endless despair. The sky black with the smoke of wildfires left to rage unchecked. The very air filled with poison and smog, with clean water and green trees a mere memory. Something like that would do for a start.

Instead men and women in sleek business suits and dresses and perfectly made-up hair looked down their noses at Jack as she stormed past them. But even if she slammed into someone with her shoulder, the most she would get was a cry of surprise that was quickly silenced as the guy hurried away as fast as his legs would take him.

It occurred to Jack that she was currently in one of the wealthiest cities on the face of the home planet. Citizens of the local system on the whole never really had to endure war and strife and other threats to the rat-race that was their lives. They'd never fired a gun or stared death in the face. Fucking losers. This was what Shepard fought so hard to protect?

But thinking about Shepard just made a hot, sick swell of anger rush throughout her entire body. Jack Fucking Shepard. Just thinking about him made her want to kill something.

She almost believed him. Just for a little while Shepard had made her believe in the impossible. That despite all the bad shit she'd done in her life, despite all the pain that she endured, there was someone out there who could love her wholly and unreservedly for who she was, and accept her without reservation.

Jack passed a woman who actually yelped like a little puppy and dashed out of the way. She had half a mind to go back and fling the pathetic woman into the river with her biotics, but shrugged and moved on.

A bar. She needed a bar where she could down some drinks and beat someone up. Wasn't there a goddamn proper bar in this fucking country? Everywhere she looked there were glittering upscale yuppie places where people met to discuss business deals, where the cheapest drink cost no less than sixty credits a glass.

Jack Fucking Shepard could never hold his drink. Despite being about twice as big as her with all that fancy gene modification, she was sure she could drink him under the table. The only time she had ever seen him drink like a madman was right after Horizon, where he broke up with that cunt of an ex-girlfriend of his.

Jack's hands involuntarily balled themselves into fists. The nerve of that fucking cunt, waltzing onto the ship as if she belonged there, assuming command like it was 'back in the old days'...

Ah fuck it. She needed a drink badly. Jack ducked into the next posh bar she saw and flung open the door so hard it crashed against the wall and made everyone inside jump.

"Give me a whiskey," she growled to the bartender. He was wearing a uniform, for crying out loud. Where were all the proper pubs in this accursed city?

The man's hands were shaking as he poured her drink and pushed it timorously in front of her. Jack grabbed it, swallowed it down in one gulp and glared at him meaningfully. He took her glass and began to pour out another shot.

"Just leave the bottle," ordered Jack. He did as he was told and scampered to the other side of the counter, as far away from Jack as he could get. She could feel the eyes of everyone else in the bar on her.

"Anyone got a fucking problem?" she roared, turning around in her seat. Most lowered their heads. A few made for the exits, pushing each other in their hurry to leave. Jack ignored them and went back to her drink.

Love was a recent visitor in Jack's life. She knew lust, the thrill of copulating with a completely random stranger and giving in to your desire in the heat of the moment. She knew rage and fury and all that good stuff. She had even experienced one or two moments of brief, fleeting happiness, usually around the time when she was making off with a score enough to buy a fleet of ships. There was sadness and despair and grief, which she kept buried deeper than a grave. Such emotions were for the weak.

But love...Jack wasn't sure how to deal with it. She had approached it in her usual manner, as if it was another opponent to be dominated and defeated. But it hadn't worked on Shepard at all.

She thought he was just looking for a quick fuck before moving on. She'd been with men like that, pirate captains and merc leaders usually. She almost wished that Shepard would turn out to be the same. At least she knew how to handle them, after a tumble or two they usually left her alone, which suited Jack just fine.

But no. Jack Fucking Shepard wanted to know about her feelings. He wanted to hear her story. He even told her there was no rush, he was interested in her, not just her body. He was warm and sensitive and kind and funny and patient and...

Bastard. Jack tipped the bottle back and felt the liquor burn as it slid down her throat.

She knew this was going to end badly. She knew it in her heart. He was a galactic hero. She was murderous convict scum with the body of a teenage boy, more ink than a tankful of giant squid and a criminal record sheet longer than she was tall. You couldn't find two people who were more different if you tried.

But for just a moment, it looked like he could see past all that. He ignored the weapon and focused on the girl crying on the inside. He tried to change himself for her sake. He understood that with all the torture and trauma she had to endure, it was too much to ask for her to turn into a civilised socialite worthy of the great Commander Shepard. Although she had to admit he had never actually said out loud that was what he wanted, it was what she assumed he wanted. To her disbelief he had tried to connect with her on her level. He had braved the depths of the Grinder to prove he wasn't above coming into her world. No matter how many times she pushed him away he just kept coming back.

She had allowed herself to hope. The first time they made love she felt as though she was going to die right there from the sheer intense ecstasy he helped her to experience. And he didn't walk away after that, or treat her like a piece of meat. Jack Fucking Shepard was the best lover she'd ever had, in all aspects of the word. She allowed herself to believe in a happy ending.

Then that bitch had shown up...

Jack had given him a simple choice. Ignore the bitch's stupid plan of walking right into the lion's den, and go in hard and fast. Even the idiot krogan had pointed it out. Shepard was a Spectre. What good was there in being above the law if he wasn't going to take advantage of it?

He wouldn't do it. He insisted on following what Williams said. He insisted on doing what she told him to do. Sure Williams had acted all innocent, but Jack knew what was going on. She was there to take him back, and it would have been simplicity itself to kill the bitch and get it over with.

Jack slammed the empty bottle back down on the counter. Bastard Jack Fucking Shepard. It was his bloody influence. Now she actually thought twice before killing someone. Even though he had sworn not to take his old girlfriend back, he'd made it clear that they were still friends. Williams was an agent of the Alliance Intelligence Agency, and there were sickening rumours about what they did to people who hurt their agents, but Jack wasn't afraid of them. Forget what the AIA might do, she knew that if she went with her first impulse and killed the bitch, Shepard would never be able to forgive her.

It had taken every ounce of self control she possessed not to rip Williams's stupid head off and instead plead with Shepard not to go along with her moronic plan. Jack despised begging and pleading. Both at Teltin and in Purgatory, she had never apologised or pleaded even if it would have saved her a world of pain. She gritted her teeth and took a beating from the sadistic guards rather than debase herself.

But she had done it for Shepard's sake, and the bastard didn't even seem to notice. He'd seemed unusually agitated when she pushed for the 'guns blazing' option, and muttered something about being afraid of committing more acts of violence. As if that had ever stopped him in the past.

He had made his choice, not her. He was going to do what Williams told him to do. Jack would rather drop dead than to take orders from Williams. And killing the bitch was out of the question. So she had no choice but to leave.

"Oi, asshole. Keep it coming," she yelled. But there was no one at the counter. Jack raised a hand and another bottle of whiskey flew towards her. She caught it, opened it and went right to work.

She wished Shepard had landed in some other country though. It was going to be a nightmare trying to blend in a posh place like this. Stuck in Southeast Asia while Shepard and the bitch were flying to India to confront the Cerberus guy the next morning.

Jack sipped thoughtfully from her bottle. Why had it worked out like this? Why was she stuck in a stupid excuse for a bar while the bitch flew off with Shepard? She had let them go without a fight. And fighting was what Jack did. It was what she lived for.

She wasn't afraid of Agent Ashley Williams. The bitch might be a crack shot, but Jack had killed hundreds of soldiers. They died just as easily as anyone else. Killing Williams would turn Shepard against her...but teaching her a lesson, now that wasn't out of the realms of possibility. Jack mentally kicked herself for walking out without even teaching the bitch what pain felt like.

For once in her life Jack had found something to fight for, not just to fight against. She had walked out in a moment of weakness, and she was already regretting her decision.

Shepard was hers. And Jack supposed she was his, when you got down to it. Throughout her life if someone took what was hers, she would raise all hell to get it back. Now it was time to take _him _back.

Jack grabbed the second bottle of whiskey and got off her stool. She had the rough beginnings of a plan already worked out in her mind. She wasn't very good at the whole 'thinking ahead' business, preferring to live in the moment. Shepard was the one who thought long term, and she supposed some of his attitude must have rubbed off on her. The two of them were going to travel to Hyderabad by 9 am the next day to confront Ransom Foley, she recalled. That was the time of the meeting. So she was going to be there at the same time. And then do...something.

Alright, so the plan wasn't finished yet, but she had plenty of time to work out the finer details.

Before she could leave the bar, two men in dark blue uniforms walked in.

"This is the police. We've received reports of a violent disturbance in the area. You're under arrest, miss. Put your hands in the air and turn around slowly."

Jack chuckled.

"Get the fuck out of my way and you won't get hurt," she said, almost kindly.

"Should we call for backup?" asked the rookie nervously. He looked barely eighteen.

"What the hell do we need backup for?" asked the older officer in disbelief. "Just cuff the bitch, I want this over with fast."

Jack shrugged. She had already given one warning, and that was one warning more than she usually gave. She could use a workout.

Jack raised her arms, a gesture equivalent to a gunslinger checking the pump action of his shotgun. Then all hell broke loose.

Every single window in the bar exploded outwards with an almighty crash of smashed glass as the two officers were hurled through them to land in a bloody mess on the sidewalk outside. A security alarm begin to wail almost immediately, its klaxon call piercing the evening air. The crowd outside, already struck dumb by the spectacle of two policemen being tossed through the air like baseballs, watched with growing disbelief as the entire front wall of the bar was torn down by some invisible force, as if the unseen hand of God had reached down and decided to wreak havoc with property values.

As the dust from the rubble cleared, a young woman stepped over the pile of broken stone and twisted wood and metal. She was clutching a bottle of Jack Daniels and laughing hysterically.

"Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough!"

**Shift**

Nothing out of the ordinary ever happened in Singapore. The evening news was mainly devoted to stock market changes and exciting events occurring all across the galaxy. Coverage of local news had dwindled away to almost nothing, as anything that was remotely considered newsworthy happened off-planet. It came as a shock when people across the country logged into the Holo net had their vids and shows and communications rudely interrupted by a special emergency broadcast.

"If you have just joined us, a terrorist situation is taking place right now in Clarke Quay," said the female reporter breathlessly. "It is understood that both police special forces and military commandos are involved, and the entire bay area has been cordoned off with absolutely no civilian or media access allowed. According to eyewitness reports prior to the crackdown the terrorists have already levelled one building, believed to be a bar frequented by tourists. Following the attack they have holed up elsewhere, fighting off waves of assaults mounted by special forces. Reports of several casualties have yet to be confirmed."

According to the brochure published by the tourism board, Clarke Quay was one of the most popular spots in the country with nothing but luxury restaurants and pubs lined up along the banks of the historic Singapore River. The old was fused with the new, with gleaming new bars and restaurants standing shoulder to shoulder with centuries-old shophouses, an area rich in both culture and history.

All of it was being cheerfully torn down brick by brick by a tattooed biotic that looked no older than fourteen.

The response teams were stunned by the level of the threat they were facing. They had initially laughed off the request from the police force to sent down a full team.

"_There's been a terrorist attack in Clarke Quay!"_

"_Roger that. Confirm number of antagonists."_

"_Uh...one."_

"_Who the hell is this? Get off the emergency line, moron! Stop wasting our time!"_

"_Listen, this is a genuine emergency and we need backup asap."_

"_If we find out this is a joke of some sort, you'll be locked up from now until Judgment Day."_

"_It's Judgment Day right now from where I'm standing!"_

Jack sent another biotic shockwave rippling through the massed ranks of soldiers. Some were blasted into the air, most were hurled bodily aside. She missed fighting, just her against the odds. The last time she had a chance to work out like this was on the Collector station. And she had to admit, it was somewhat therapeutic to annihilate all the military hardware that Singapore could throw at her.

A deafening blast echoed through the air, and Jack was showered in rubble and dust. She wiped her eyes and spotted the long barrel of a tank aimed directly at her.

Part of Jack's 'training' involved the rote memorization of nearly every military assault vehicle ever created by both human and alien. Hours were spent drilling the digitized information directly into her brain, and she had the specifications of capabilities of each at her fingertips.

For every fact she got wrong, her rations were taken away and she would have to kill a wild varren if she wanted to eat. Sometimes the guards would toss her a packet of ketchup, laughing themselves fit to burst while they did it.

Jack felt the old anger surface and fought to keep it down. She kept her eyes locked on the tank barrel, counting off the seconds in her head, every muscle stretched as taut as a tightrope wire.

_Earth ground assault tank, Beijing-class Dragon. Weight 5 tonnes, range 25 kilometers, top speed 60 kilometers per hour. Time for reload: 4 seconds._

Her legs coiled and pistoned themselves half a second before she actually saw the flash and felt the shockwaves of the cannon blast. Her entire body was engulfed in ethereal blue flame, painting the walls around her a deep cerulean. She launched herself head over heels in mid-air, reaching a height unattainable even by Olympic-level gymnasts, and landed on the one spot where she could not fired upon: the tank itself.

The other soldiers immediately ceased fire, fearful of hurting their comrades. Jack allowed herself a small grin. Apparently her targets still possessed a degree of human compassion. She had fought against enemies who wouldn't think twice about destroying one of their own just to kill her. This was going to make things much easier...not that she needed the help, of course.

People misunderstood biotics on a number of levels. For one there existed the misconception that they were all psychic. Asaris could meld with other minds and human fiction was rife with tales of people wielding immense telepathic powers, but biotics were telekinetics. They could manipulate objects, not minds.

Another myth was that biotics gained tremendous strength, endurance and speed from their powers. That was not strictly accurate, although the end result was pretty much the same. A biotic couldn't punch through walls, but his telekinesis could weaken the foundations and the structure and render it so unstable a simple punch would demolish it. Similarly, a biotic wouldn't be able to survive a shotgun blast at point-blank range, but the barriers he was capable of creating would do the trick. As for augmented speed, telekinesis moved a body faster than any mere muscles could.

There were drawbacks. Risks, of course. Over-reliance on biotic ability tended to push the body far beyond its breaking point. But well-trained biotics would learn to recognise the limits of their powers, and just one well-trained biotic was a match for an army.

So when Jack reached out and ripped a wide hole in the tank's hull, revelling in the screech of metal and every popped rivet, she wasn't doing it with her hands, but her mind. When she yanked out the screaming operator with one hand and hurled him into the Singapore River with the other, it was also the mind doing the job. The same was true as she leapt off the ruined tank in a graceful swan dive seconds before being hit by another explosive shell, her biotics ensuring she maintained perfect balance, poise and speed.

Jack dropped to the floor in a perfect split, narrowly avoiding the burst of rifle fire that cracked just over her head. It impacted on the shields of the men behind her, shorting them out. With their shields down, it was child's play to reach out and mentally disassemble all the little locks and catches that held their regular armour together and make it shiver off their bodies. Exposed to the elements, Jack could take her sweet time personally knocking out each and every one of them, occasionally dodging the shots of the other soldiers she hadn't gotten round to dealing with yet.

A mere six months ago she would have snuffed out lives without thinking twice, but now she found herself pulling her punches, not using her biotic abilities to their fullest extent. A kick that would have snapped a neck now merely bruised. A biotic blast that would have flung a soldier head first into an exposed steel beam hurled him into the river instead.

_What's going on?_

Then it hit her. Shepard. He had changed because of her...but she also had changed because of him. It didn't matter that he wasn't with her, or that she might never see him again. She was still following in his footsteps, doing what he would have done in her place. No matter how far away she ran he would always be a part of her.

This made her so emotional she summoned as much biotic energy in one moment as she did in the previous week and levitated a tank ten feet off the ground. Ignoring the strangled screams coming from the inside, she flung it into the river as well. A wave of water surged over the banks, rushing up as far as her feet.

All her life she had relied on exactly one person: herself. Now she had come to realise that there was one more person she could place her trust in.

It had only been a few hours, and she already missed him. She missed his smile, big and confident, even when things looked their worst. She missed his humour, always ready with a wisecrack. The nickname 'Joker' shouldn't have been given to the pilot, but rather its captain.

She missed his strength, his calm assurance that everything was going to be turn out all right. Shepard may have been just as scared shitless as the rest of the crew in any given situation, but he never showed it until the crisis was over. It was only later, in the dark quiet of his cabin, where she would listen to him talk of the fears he'd fought to overcome. More often than not she would laugh at him, as Jack found being a counsellor rather unnerving. But it seemed like just talking about it made Shepard feel better, and the least she could do was listen.

And of course she missed being with him, running her hands over his rock hard muscles that only ever relaxed when they were alone, kissing him until her lips were sore. Lying in his lap with his arms wrapped tight around her. Making love whenever the mood took them. She wanted that back again.

She loved Shepard. And in a startling moment of clarity, she had come to understand the full meaning of what that word truly meant. Without him she felt hollow and empty, devoid of purpose. Shepard made her feel like a person, loved, whole and complete. She was damn sure he felt the same. She would move heaven and earth to be by his side once more.

Now for most people that would just be a mere phrase. But she was the most dangerous biotic in the verse, her powers allied to an extremely cunning and inventive mind. Most people wouldn't know how to get from point A to B without getting bogged down in the details. Jack saw the clearest line from A to Z and it was her habit to take the straightest route to get there, even if it involved running through walls and wading through armies.

Shepard was on his way right now to another country. She was stuck here. She needed some form of transport. The Normandy was far away behind enemy lines. So she decided to take one of her own. The tanks and other assault vehicles around her were land based, and the ships anchored in the bay would be a stretch too far to hijack, but...

A familiar booming echo far overhead made Jack look up. She then made a snap decision.

Jack faced her assailants, many of whom were cowering behind makeshift cover made of rubble and broken bits of stone, not daring to come another step nearer.

"You sorry bunch of bastards!" she began pleasantly, cupping her hands around her mouth to facilitate communication. "It's been fun. It really has. But it's getting late and I really have to go."

"Lie down on the ground and place both hands behind your head!" yelled back someone. Without thinking Jack reached out and tossed him into the river as well.

"Anyone else fancy a swim?"

Terrified silence.

"Now look, can't say I haven't enjoyed this workout. But it could have been much, much worse. The reason all of you aren't dead right now is because of that idiot Jack Bastard Shepard. Keep that in mind."

A moment passed. Jack drew all of her energy inwards, focusing her mind with laser-guided precision and compressing it into a single, all-encompassing thought.

_Up._

Like a bullet from a gun she shot straight up into the air, flipped over, and landed feet and hands first directly onto the cockpit of a fighter jet that happened to be streaking over the battlefield.

Jack couldn't hear the horrified screams of the pilot as his face was almost totally obscured by his breath mask, but his eyes were clear and they bulged at her in a stark expression of terror.

The jet roared away at hundreds of meters per second. Any normal human being hanging on to the outside of such a craft would have been liquified, but Jack, as she told Shepard once, was hardly normal. She sheathed herself in a productive cocoon of biotic energy and as such the tremendous gravitational pressures and gale force winds mattered as much to her as a gentle spring breeze might have done.

Jack reached down and casually tore off the top of the cockpit, letting the pieces of glass whirl away far below. The pilot was trying to punch her in the face, so she snapped his restraints, picked him up with both hands and tossed him overboard as well.

Without bothering to look where he ended up Jack settled herself comfortably in the pilot's seat. She regretted destroying the cockpit panel a little bit, but she maintained her shields and a flat blue screen shimmered into existence, moulding itself perfectly above her head. It would serve for the duration of the journey.

Jack looked around, flipping switches, pressing buttons, disabling all communications and internal tracking systems. Despite never having been in an atmospheric jet fighter before she was intimately familiar with its inner workings. Her training had seen to that.

_Earth fighter Asia-class Skywarrior. Armaments: Extensive. Estimated time needed for travel between Singapore and Hyderabad: One hour._

She was going to go to where Shepard was going and save his stupid life for him. Then she was going to explain to Ms. Williams very politely that if she wanted Shepard, all she had to do was to fight for him. Couldn't say fairer than that.

Another smile touched the edges of Jack's lips as she screamed through the night sky in her stolen fighter, leaving both the sound barrier and the borders of Singapore far, far behind.

**Hyderabad**

**Now**

Kasumi began to feel better almost immediately after leaving the small dank little interrogation room. The power failure had rendered the magnetic locks on the door useless, and after fashioning a rudimentary lockpick out of the heel of her boot she had slid the bolts open and was free to roam around the station at will.

She hated being caged or conformed in any way, and it was part of the reason why she took up her chosen career in the first place. It was also the reason why she remained a part of Shepard's crew long after her initial contract from Cerberus was over. He could be such an insufferable soldier boy at times, but he was a Spectre. His mandate of 'Above the Law' appealed tremendously to her, someone who walked the line between legality and morality on a daily basis.

Roaming around a state security station was not something that was completely unknown to her. She had undertaken several jobs against government targets, often on behalf of other governments. The basic layout remained more or less the same no matter where the station was, be it in the middle of a city, miles under water or on the dark side of a moon. The juiciest secrets and most important information tended to be stored in the centre under heavy guard, and it was to the centre that she was going now.

Call it a hunch. Call it instinct or intuition. Her search at the HQ of Sombra had turned up less than satisfactory evidence, and she wanted to see what records the local government was keeping on them.

She could hear loud voices calling out in panicked Hindi interspersed with English. No matter what language they used, it was clear the officials were not expecting this power blackout.

Kasumi found it child's play to slip undetected through the shadows unnoticed. The emergency lighting painted the walls a deep, foreboding crimson, and Kasumi moved quickly, circling closer towards the centre.

"The backup generator! Get down and get that working, you idiots! There's been a terrorist attack!" yelled an authoritative voice, and Kasumi heard heavy booted footfalls coming towards her.

She had no time to think, only to react. In the space of a second she crouched down, leapt straight up and spread her legs, bracing her feet on either wall. With a free hand she grabbed at a light fixture and held her breath.

A squad of men rushed along the corridor underneath her, clearly in a hurry to get away from the source of the shouting. They never even thought of looking up.

When they were out of sight, Kasumi dropped to the floor as quietly as possible, and moved on.

After a few minutes, she began to suspect that she had found her goal. Moving very cautiously, she peeked around a corner. At the end of this corridor was a big, thick looking steel door. But what was interesting was the presence of two heavily armed guards standing in front of it.

During an apparent terrorist attack, these two guards had decided that guarding whatever it was that they were guarding was more important than responding to the situation outside, or restoring power to the facility. Kasumi found this very interesting indeed.

Out of sight around the corner, Kasumi fiddled with the omni-tool she had lifted while passing by a storeroom. It wasn't a patch on her old one (and she missed it with all her heart), barely able to do the most basic of things. But it was enough.

With a little work she tapped into the local network and accessed the personal communicators of the guards.

"Attention. This is a code red emergency, return to Command immediately."

Around the corner, the guards looked at each other.

"Code red? What's that?"

"Beats me."

Kasumi cursed silently. She decided to play it differently.

"We have a terrorist situation on hand! We need you up on the Command level now, or else you can look for new jobs tomorrow!"

After a moment's hesitation, the guards shrugged and left.

When she was certain they had left, Kasumi walked calmly up to the door. A simple lockpick wouldn't have worked for this one, but with the help of her new omni-tool (blasted piece of trash) she got it open.

The door swung open to reveal a single computer terminal. Working as quickly as she could, Kasumi gained access and sifted through the files.

Jackpot.

**Hyderabad**

**Now**

"You are entering Indian airspace illegally. Identify yourself at once or we will shoot you down," crackled a tinny voice, coming from the control panel.

Jack glanced over at the communicator, and brought her fist crashing down on it. The instrument was smashed beyond repair.

It had been an uneventful trip thus far, as Jack pushed the jet to the limits of its top speed and stayed mostly above cloud cover. But now she was reaching her destination, and she had to slow down and drop back down a little to see where she was going.

Hyderabad by early morning was an uncommonly beautiful city. It reminded Jack a little of Ilium, with shining lights and towering buildings everywhere. Winding in and out and around were the lines of shuttle traffic, backed up as far as the eye can see despite the early hour.

A loud beeping sounded in the cockpit, and Jack looked at the sensor screen. A couple of blips were on the screen, converging on her position fast.

Jack half-regretted destroying the communicator, she was sure the pilots of the other jets were trying to contact her and it would have been fun to taunt them.

She kicked up the throttle a notch higher and felt a lurch as her jet zoomed forward, leaving her pursuers behind. Her shields were still holding, protecting her from the wind and immense pressure, but she was getting a little tired of maintaining it.

Jack was keeping her eyes peeled for the Sombra Corp HQ. It should be the biggest and most imposing building around, and her eyes were drawn to an immense black tower sitting beside the river. A beam of sunlight hit the familiar Sombra logo and lit it up, and Jack knew that was where she had to go.

The beeping alarm sounded again, and Jack's eyes narrowed as she once again checked out the sensor screens. The jets she thought she had shaken off were once again right on her tail. Time was running out, and it was time for her to take drastic action.

**Shift**

_A loud wailing filled the air, and the simulation ended. Encased in the pod, Jack gasped for breath, the shock of the realistic images replaced by utter darkness unnerving her a little._

_The pod hissed open, and the bright light made her blink. Then she was hauled bodily out of the pod and slapped hard across the face._

"_Explain."_

_Jack poked her tongue out and ran it over her lip. The iron tang of blood was familiar. Then she was slapped again, and this time the blow was so hard she was knocked to the floor._

"_Explain," said the voice once more. It had no change in tone, and was as flat and dead as ever._

"_I made a mistake," whispered Jack. The blood from her mouth dripped onto the concrete. Then she was kicked in the ribs, the explosion of pain so overwhelming she almost blacked out. A tear welled in her eye and she forced it back down. No tears. Not now, not ever._

"_That much is clear, Subject Zero," intoned the voice. "You made a mistake. Now I want to know what it was."_

"_I misjudged the angle of descent," mumbled Jack. "The other fighters shot me down. I crashed." She was kicked again, and involuntarily cried out in pain. She curled into as tight a ball as possible, blinking away more tears._

"_A poor answer. You will get into the pod again, and you will resume the simulation once more. And this time you will get it right."_

_Jack forced herself to her feet, and clambered into the simulation pod. Before it closed shut, the voice spoke once again._

"_If you fail again you will not live to see the morning, Subject Zero."_

**Shift**

Jack flipped a couple of switches and pulled hard on the steering lever. The plane began to nosedive sharply.

Images flashed past her, whipping by faster and faster. The clouds. The shuttle traffic. Trees. The ground!

At the last second Jack pulled up, her arms shaking with the strain. There was a dull boom behind her as one of the pursuing jets slammed into the ground and exploded in a ball of flame.

Without taking a moment to celebrate, Jack roared away with the remaining jet in hot pursuit. She couldn't try the same feint again, and she had to get out of the civilian zone or risk massive casualties. Shepard's thinking once more.

The jet fired a missile at her and Jack released her countermeasures. The anti-missile knocked it off trajectory, but it was her last one. Her own jet was light on armaments, and she couldn't hope to take it out in a dogfight.

Jack began flying in a slightly more random and haphazard pattern. She would pull up, dive down, zip from one side to the other seemingly for the heck of it. The other jet stayed on her tail, but Jack could tell it was working. He remained a step or two behind her movements.

Her plan involved pitch perfect timing. But if she got it wrong...

Jack had never prayed in her life. With all that had happened in her life, the concept of a loving God was alien to her. But Shepard did, and it seemed to work for him.

"Give me this, you son of a bitch," she muttered between gritted teeth. "Then we're even."

She saw a silhouette in front of her, looming up fast. The familiar cylindrical shape of cooling towers of the main fusion plant that supplied power to half of the city. It would have to do, there was no other option.

Jack raced towards the power plant, with the other jet right behind her. She stilled herself, feeling the familiar wave of coldness settle over her. Nothing else in the universe mattered other than her mind.

At the last possible moment, Jack pulled her jet up sharply once more, going straight up. She let go of her shields, and a gale force wind swept into the cockpit. Sucked out of the jet like a cork popping from a bottle, she called up another biotic shield to kill her speed.

The pilot following her was an experienced, capable man. He wouldn't have fallen for such a simple trick and would have avoided crashing into the power plant...if not for Jack reaching out and ripping out his navigation systems with her biotic powers.

The jet spiralled out of control and crashed into the power plant, with her own jet, now without a pilot, following suit seconds later. An almighty explosion shook the plant, and the entire city was suddenly plunged into darkness. The only light came from the slowly rising sun, and the fires that were engulfing the power plant.

Jack spread her arms and felt her descent slow down as she strengthened her shields. She fell to the ground as light as a feather.

She ignored the rocketing explosions behind her, and the cries of the people shocked by the sudden power blackout. Her eyes settled on a dark tower in the distance.

That was where Shepard was. That was where she was going to go. And that was where she was going to take him back.

Without a weapon or gear of any kind other than the clothes on her back and her biotic mind, Jack set out.


	22. Chase

**Chapter 22 – Chase**

Note: I changed the names of both the world-spanning corporation and its malevolent leader to something I think Stephen King fans will appreciate.

**Transit from Singapore to Hyderabad**

I looked out of the window of the shuttle, trying to catch a glimpse of the beauty of Earth. I had spent all my time so far on board the Normandy, and hadn't even poked my head out for a breath of fresh air. The girl was fine when you were traversing the furthest fringes of outer space, but when it was idling in dock on the home planet itself it was hard to resist stepping out just for a moment.

The scenery was zooming by so quickly it was a mere blur of green and brown and blue and white, and I couldn't see a thing. Disappointed, I sat back instead and my hand was inching towards my cigarette case before remembering that the shuttle was a no smoking zone.

Miranda had recommended that I put on my best suit instead of my armour, as it was supposed to be a negotiation, not a battle. With the most powerful shield generator we had been saving hidden under my clothes of course. But I refused and donned what I was beginning to think of as my 'Jack' outfit. Stonewashed jeans, black leather jacket, black muscle t-shirt and combat boots. I kept the shield generator though.

When I looked into my mirror that morning I found an almost unrecognisable man staring back at me. Bloodshot eyes, veined nose, hollowed cheeks. The stress of the previous day had done its work in the space of a single night.

As for what went on in that night, the less said the better.

Ash was sitting beside me, her long legs crossed, her arms folded. I knew she was looking at me, I could feel her eyes on me. I didn't look back, but stared off into space instead.

The shuttle was small, barely big enough for two passengers to travel comfortably. She reached for my hand and held it.

"Jack. About last night," she began hesitantly.

"I don't want to talk about last night," I said at once.

"Don't shut me out."

"Ash, I don't want to talk about last night. Not at the moment."

"Fine," she said. "If that's what you want."

"All I want is my friend back," I said. "If Garrus is dead..."

My voice trailed off into thin air. I had no idea how to complete that sentence.

"You're right, of course," said Ash. "Let's focus on the mission. We'll have time to talk things over once we get Garrus and the others back."

I didn't want to talk about last night. I didn't even want to think about what happened. We flew the rest of the way in relative silence. But she continued to hold my hand, and I did not pull away.

**Sombra Corp HQ**

**Hyderabad, India**

**9.02 AM**

We touched down on a private landing pad on the roof of the HQ building. It was immense, dominating the city's skyline. I shaded my eyes from the early morning sun and gazed out over the metropolis. It was teeming with people and vehicles seized with hurried, purposeful activity.

I got out of the shuttle first and helped Ash get down. She look faintly bemused, but took my hand and allowed me to assist her anyway. The wind whipped at my jacket, making it flap. Before we could take a step, what looked like an entire squad of Sombra Corp representatives assembled in front of us, ranks upon ranks of them hurrying up like a swarm.

A woman stepped forward, dressed in a nondescript dark suit. Short, blonde with her eyes covered in shades, her lips tightened as she looked at us.

"Welcome, Commander Shepard."

I said nothing. She took the hint.

"Follow me please," she said curtly. The security personnel parted like the Red Sea in her wake, Ash and I trailing behind.

We were led to a gorgeous reception area with luxurious carpets, water fountains, chandeliers, art on the walls – the works. Sombra hadn't done too badly in its last quarter, it appeared.

The blonde woman nodded to a man on her team, who approached us with a suspicious looking instrument. Before he could lower his arm I grabbed it and forced it back. Almost immediately I sensed dozens of hands edging towards hidden holsters.

"No weapons, Commander. As you agreed," said our chaperone.

"I agreed. Don't you trust me?" I said evenly. The guard grunted in pain as my fingers dug into his wrist.

"No. We don't."

"You're not complete idiots. Still if this man so much wiggles his fingers I am making him eat this. Every bit."

"Then you're not going in."

"Lady, that's your problem. Your boss wants to see me. Not the other way round."

She chewed her lip, then muttered something that sounded like acquiescence. I released the guard and he fell back, rubbing his wrist.

"They're cleared."

I smiled pleasantly at the guard. He glared and bristled with anger, but seemed hesitant to actually start a fight. Ash rolled her eyes and stepped in front of me.

We were then led into a massive office. It was larger than my entire command deck on board the Normandy, with a huge desk taking pride of place in the exact centre of the room. All along one side of the room, was a clear glass window affording a brilliant early morning view of the Hyderabadi skyline.

In front of the window standing ramrod straight with his arms locked behind his back, was a tall man in a somber grey suit. He was facing away from us, apparently transfixed by the view.

"Sir. Commander Shepard, sir," said our welcoming committee. The man turned around and I came face to face with Ransom Foley for the first time.

Even as a navy brat who travelled the length and breadth of the galaxy, I had heard of the legend of Ransom Foley. Typical rags to riches story, but with a dark twist. Ransom had grown up on the streets of Los Angeles, quickly forging a gang by beating up the kids smaller than him and outsmarting the kids bigger than him. Possessing a rare level of fierce intelligence and with utter ruthlessness he wiped out the seemingly invincible Crips gang in less than ten years. Taking over their operations and breaking every single member to his will, he was in the process of doing the same to the Bloods when he was finally arrested on multiple homicide charges and locked away in what the media called the trial of the modern day Corleone.

Even in prison he retained vestiges of his former power, and lived as luxuriously as possible while still in a federal cell. For a while it seemed like Foley was destined to be behind bars for the rest of his life, when the second American Civil War erupted and changed everything.

Desperately in need of fighting men, the government made a deal with every convict in the nation (and there were a hell of a lot to choose from, at least in the states still under their control). Serve in the army, and win your freedom. Almost everyone took the deal, and in return the government saved millions and got more men to throw in the meat grinder.

They weren't supposed to survive, after all once the war was over any survivor would be a potential political embarrassment for the government. But the most hardcore group of the most depraved and sadistic murderers and cut-throats finally found their true calling.

They were recruited by a top secret black ops branch of the US Army, where it was whispered they did unspeakable things in the name of war. Ransom Foley was among them, and he was so valuable to their operations he was eventually granted a full Presidential pardon with all the appropriate military honours.

Not satisfied with what he'd achieved, Foley then focused on building up the Sombra Corporation, adding legitimate money, power and authority to those that he already possessed. Along the way he acquired the most valuable currency of all – credibility. He was no longer a common criminal, but a respected and feared man with roots in the community and tentacles stretching to every corner of the globe.

Dreadful whispers of the ice that ran in Random's veins made their rounds among the most wretched, decrepit pits of the underworld as well as the highest levels of government. Everyone knew that Ransom had two sons, lieutenants who ran his criminal empire with brutal efficiency. Everything worked well until the younger son decided he had accumulated enough personal power to take out his old man.

The hit was devastating, and Ransom barely escaped with his life. Despite suffering massive injuries he held his broken body together by sheer force of will and committed his every waking moment to finding the one responsible.

The fact that it was his own flesh and blood apparently had no bearing on Ransom's need for vengeance. He tied his younger son to a chair by himself, with his own hands. Then he doused him in lighter fluid and set him on fire.

It is said Ransom watched every second of his son's death, every lick of flame, every howl of agony as the skin bubbled and blackened and sloughed off the flesh. And in all that time, not a muscle moved on his face, nor did he say a single word.

The man was not given to loose talk. Every word he uttered was measured and deliberate, with no hint whatsoever of any accent of his rough beginnings. In fact Ransom could almost have passed for a respectable mogul, save for two details.

One, the numerous scars that adorned his face and cheeks, slashing deep furrows across the otherwise smooth brown flesh, a testament to the violence in his past. Despite being able to afford reconstructive surgery a million times over, Foley had decided to leave them where they were. He knew they were intimidating, and he was right.

The other, his eyes. Ransom Foley was said to have eyes that would make the devil shudder. He looked at me and I felt the full force of his gaze, the stare that burned like the touch of winter frost.

Within that man's eyes was hatred that could make the sun's fire freeze and die, leaving it a cold, lifeless rock. He looked into my own eyes and despite all the things I had seen and done, despite the millennia old horrors I had faced, I couldn't help but shudder a little myself.

The man could hate.

Almighty God, the man could hate.

**Shift**

"Shepard," said Ransom Foley evenly.

I felt a chill settle over me. "Foley," I returned, a little curt.

If he was offended by that, he gave no sign. "Explain why you have been interfering in my operations."

Straight to business. I decided to return the favour.

"I know you're with Cerberus."

"So are you."

"I'm not."

"My sources are good."

"Your sources are wrong."

"My sources are never wrong."

"They are this time."

A ghost of a smile flashed across Ransom's face, like a lizard skittering over a rock. Then it was gone.

"You're honest, I'll give you that. Anyone who has burned his bridges with the Illusive Man as thoroughly as you have could never be a part of Cerberus."

"Thanks."

"It wasn't a compliment. Honest men are a rarity at this level Shepard, and with good reason. They tend to die horrifically."

"I'll take my chances."

Ransom changed tack. "What is it you're trying to accomplish? What do you possibly get out of defying the Illusive Man?"

"Satisfaction."

"A pathetic answer."

"Innocent lives then. I don't need to spell that out for you."

"How can you be so short sighted? Cerberus guards humanity. Whatever Cerberus does is for humanity's benefit."

I thought of a little girl who had her own humanity ripped out of her mind.

"Cerberus will save the human race, Foley. They just need to sacrifice every man, woman and child in the Verse to do it."

His lip curled. "You make me sick. Associating with alien filth to save politicians. Milking it for all you're worth in front of a galactic audience. As though they were equals. As though they mattered."

I felt anger well up in my mind like a flooded river. There were dams, well-built dams to block its way and prevent it from spilling out, but I didn't know how long they would last. Then something occurred to me.

"Why do you of all people buy this Cerberus bullshit?"

"What?"

"You're a black man, for crying out loud. The civil rights movement ring a bell?"

"Shows how little you know," said Ransom. "Once again we're being sold into slavery, not by other men but aliens. Helped along by people like you. Selling out your own kind so you can get a pat on the head from the superior beings."

I shook my head, wondering how someone so smart could get it so spectacularly wrong.

"We're burning daylight," I said. "You wanted me. Here I am."

"Yes indeed," said Ransom, almost thoughtfully. "Face to face with the great Commander Shepard...or should I say ex-Commander."

"You can't make me angry," I lied.

"Please, give me an hour."

"What is it you want?"

"Business, Shepard, is based on the principles of give and take. I have something you want -"

"Give me back my friends. Now."

Ransom fixed me with the full force of his glare after my interruption, and once again I felt another shiver run down my spine.

"- as I was saying, I have something you want. But you, Shepard, you have _nothing _I want."

I felt Ash tense up beside me, but it was too late. Far too late. In a blink of an eye the guards had raised their weapons and pointed them directly at us. Ransom shook his head pityingly.

"I'm ashamed, to be honest. I'm ashamed such a simple trap worked."

Ransom's calm facade cracked as his eyes lit up with an insane fury and he bared his teeth in a mirthless grin.

"The Illusive Man wants you alive. No other specifications."

**Shift**

I felt my heart sink down to the level of somewhere around my testicles. How the hell could I have been so stupid?

I glanced at Ash, expecting the familiar look of grim determination she wore when things went horribly wrong. Instead I was met with a stone wall of blank detachment, the kind that revealed not a single hint of emotion. Being in the Agency had changed her in ways I could not comprehend.

"Mr. Foley," she began. Calmly. Pleasantly. "I am sure we can talk things over. My name is -"

"Agent Ashley Williams of Alliance Intelligence, formerly Chief Williams of the Alliance Navy," said Ransom unconcernedly. Ignoring the way Ash's mouth snapped shut he went blithely on. "Yes, I know who you are Agent Williams. I know your dental records and the fact you've been trying to spy on my company. We have people in the highest levels of your pitiful little organisation."

I risked another look at Ash. Her cheeks flamed red and a vein was working in her temple. Now that was the Ash I remembered.

"Let me tell you what's going to happen," said Ransom. "You will be taken to the Illusive Man, and he will decide your fate. You may live. You may die. I don't know and I don't care. The Illusive Man protects us all and if not for complete fools like the pair of you humanity wouldn't be in state it is now."

Freaking out wouldn't help me much. We were unarmed, but we did have shield generators hidden underneath our clothes. At point blank range, under heavy fire from about twenty goons, I could maybe take ten steps before the generator shorted out.

And Foley, for all his bluster, was nine steps away.

In the blink of an eye I dropped my shoulder and hurled myself at the CEO, trying to get to him before my shields shorted out. I moved with all the speed that my newly built and genetically modified body could give me, strengthened and enhanced to the very peak of human capabilities.

I was fast. But Foley, unbelievably, was faster.

He moved like a snake, immediately raising a knee that I smashed my breastbone against. The pain was incredible. I slumped to the floor, but even in my red-eyed haze I managed to grab the man by his ankles and tip him off balance. It was enough for Ash, who thankfully knew what I was going to do before I had thought of it myself. She had been a second behind me and wrestled Foley to the ground in a full nelson lock.

The gunfire ceased, and my hearing came back to me. We had been protected by our shields, but they were a whisker away from shorting out. The fact that Foley's goons had stopped shooting apparently meant that he hadn't bothered to take the same precaution.

"No one moved," I coughed, rubbing my chest. How did you know if you've cracked a rib or three? Was there some way to tell?

"You don't have any weapons," muttered Foley, and Ash reacted by grinding his face against the carpet.

"I can kill a man with my little finger. It's something they teach at the Agency," she hissed in his ear.

"Here's what's going to happen," I said to the room in general. "We're going to walk out of here very slowly, with Mr. Foley in our custody. You're going to let us go, or else he dies."

"I'm going to die anyway, once you're done with me," growled Foley.

"I'm not going to kill you. I just want to know where my friends are."

"And if I don't tell you?"

"I do have a krogan on board my ship who is eager to test out new and interesting ways to inflict pain."

"Torture," remarked Foley calmly. "Coming from someone like you, Commander, that's a surprise."

I couldn't believe my ears. "You routinely put people to death every day of your life, you prick."

"At least I don't pretend I'm a whiter-than-white messiah while I'm at it."

"I'm not Alliance any more, Ransom," I said. "I'm not a Commander. I'm a Spectre. We get our information – and here's a phrase that you might find familiar – by any means necessary."

"You can do what you want. I'll die happy knowing that you and this bitch are dead as well. Shoot," he ordered the guards.

Before the guards could carry out that order, an immense tremor seemed to shake the very foundations of the building. Everything that wasn't nailed down toppled over and smashed on the floor. Light fixtures were swaying. Then suddenly every electrical device in the room flared and died. Sunlight was still streaming in, but it was obvious that the power to the building had been cut.

I lost my balance and tumbled to the floor, but Ash maintained her death grip on Foley. At least one of us was keeping our head screwed on, without Foley we would never get out of the place alive.

Then a tremendous crash sent all of us rolling again, as one wall of Foley's office simply crumbled and collapsed, sending thick clouds of dust billowing into the air. The guards swung around, their weapons trained upon the new intruder.

The dust swirled around me and stung my eyes. I could hardly see a thing, and rubbing only made it worse. But somehow, I knew who was there. Before I saw her shape or heard her voice I knew that only one person in the entire galaxy would announce herself in so explosive and destructive a fashion.

"Shepard you bastard!" she yelled by way of greeting.

I blinked hard, my eyes swimming with tears. Ash was staring at me in utter disbelief and I shrugged.

"Who else but Jack."

**Shift**

It was a crazy tableau. But crazy had pretty much been the definition of my life ever since the Illusive Man had breathed life back into my broken corpse.

A huge office bigger than all three decks of my ship put together, filled head to toe with opulence that was worth a small country. Although somewhat tarnished now because on one end there stood...

My crazy bald-headed tattooed girlfriend with murder in her eyes who couldn't seem to decide whether she loved me or not. Someone for whom tearing down an entire wall of said office was relatively mild entrance.

Standing a little way from her were a squadron of armed goons, serving as corporate security for one of the largest and decidedly most evil corporations in existence. The marine in me wanted to sneer at the very idea of _corporate _security being a threat, then I remembered they had taken out Garrus, Jacob and freakin' Thane.

A short distance from them were the likely trio of one of the most powerful men in the world, my ex-girlfriend turned spy, and me. With all the baggage that implies.

It was at that precise moment I felt an uncontrollable urge to laugh and I had to bite my lip to stop myself. My life was insane. Any moment now I'd wake up and be back in the real world.

A moment passed and sadly, I didn't.

The guards were looking at Jack in amazement. I realised they were hanging back because Ransom hadn't yet given the order to shoot her. That was the downside of training underlings to follow your commands to the letter. It left little room for independent thought.

From his position Foley couldn't see who had ventilated his office, so acting on autopilot, the guards carried out the last order they were given. They turned their guns around and fired on Ash and me.

I leapt in front of Ash, trusting everything to the slim little shield generator that Mordin had given me to wear. The one he had assured me was turned all the way up to eleven.

**Shift**

"_That reference is not understood, Captain."_

"_It's an old human show, Spinal Tap – look, forget about the dial. Just make sure this thing is as strong as you can possibly make it."_

"_Certainly."_

_A few days later..._

"_Here you are Captain as requested. Shield generator upgraded to peak efficiency. Remnants of Cerberus, turian, asari biotic and geth cyclonic field technology combined. Believe you will be satisfied with its performance."_

_I turned over the tiny device and had to laugh. On one side there was an old-fashioned dial, with only two settings; 1 and 11._

"_Dial is perfunctory, superfluous. Yet added as requested. Shield generator will 'go up to eleven.'"_

"_Thanks Mordin. By the way, it's a standing order on my ship that the use of air quotes is banned."_

"_Air quotes?"_

"_That thing you did with your fingers when you said 'up to eleven.'"_

"_It seems innocuous -"_

"_Just don't."_

"_What would the disciplinary measure enacted for a second offence?"_

"_I'll keelhaul you."_

"_But we're in space."_

"_Ya got it."_

"_I see."_

**Shift**

That salarian son of a bitch had done his homework. The shields held for a few seconds more, although I was detecting a worrying hint of burning ozone.

I knew Jack wasn't telepathic. But as ever when we got to fighting – whether against an enemy or with each other – it was like she read my mind.

The few seconds I gained was enough for her to reach out and yank the weapons from the hands of every one in the room simultaneously. With another gesture she knocked all the guards to the floor. Jack crushed all of their weapons except two, the black metal screeching in protest at being rolled up into a twisted little ball. She caught one assault rifle and hurled me the other.

I managed not to drop it and aimed it right at Ransom. Despite the pain in my chest I held it steady.

"Game's up Foley. You're coming with me."

He sneered at me. The suddenly there was a brilliant spark of light, a scream of pain from Ash, and a blur of movement.

"Ash!" I yelled. She seemed to be hurt, but she was still breathing. Foley had shook himself free and was back on his feet.

He didn't look behind him, but took off as fast as he could for the far end of his office. I stood dumbstruck for a moment. Then I realised what Foley was going to do.

There was no way he could fight his way past the three of us, now his guards were out of commission. There was only one way he could escape from the place.

Directly ahead of him was the glass wall showing off the city skyline. I raised the rifle and squeezed off a shot, but my aim was wild and instead of the round taking him in the back like I intended it only smashed the window, shattering it into pieces.

The instant I saw that my shot wasn't going to hit him I flung away the rifle and took off after him. The glass crunched under my boots, my ribs and chest were screaming at their idiot of an owner, but they were all secondary to the thought that had lodged itself in my brain. _Get. To. Foley._

He reached the edge of his office floor and leapt from the broken window without hesitation. Three seconds later, so did I.

**Shift**

I had done some training with the Alliance Airborne Infantry. We took part in atmospheric parachuting as well as orbital drop shock jumps. So it wasn't as if I was unfamiliar with what was going on.

Still, you try hurling yourself out of a ninety storey building with nothing on but the shirt on your back.

The glorious view of Hyderabad's cityscape did little to calm the nerves. As I sailed through the fresh, early morning air, _Get. To. Foley _had been replaced by _ohshitohshitohshiti'mgonnadie._

The CEO was an already dwindling speck far below me. I thought I would be able to grab him and sort of use him as a shield or something when I hit the ground. I tried to steer myself towards him before realising I was in mid-air and had no earthly way of making it possible.

"_SHEPAAAAAAAAAAAARRD!" _yelled someone high above me. Ignoring the terrible pressures involved I twisted my neck to look upwards.

Jack was above me. Apparently she had been feeling suicidal as well and had followed me out of the window. All her arms and legs were spread and she was flailing around like a drowning swimmer. Dimly I wondered if this was the view a shark saw when looking up at its prey. Except that we were, y'know, in the sky.

Then I felt the ghost of Sir Isaac Newton beating me about the head with the ghost of the _Principia_ _Mathematica _as the laws of physics which he so brilliantly discovered were scandalously told to sit down and shut up by my lovely girlfriend. I also felt the rush of air slow down all around me as Jack used her biotics to arrest our descent.

She came closer to me and stretched out her hand. I grabbed at it and held it tight.

"What the hell are you doing?" I screamed in her ear.

"Not letting go!" she yelled back.

I made up my mind. I could spend the rest of my life with this girl.

I looked down again and saw Foley land on a patch of grass, roll over a number of times and get back to his feet. He had to be hiding some kind of Cerberus tech in his own suit, and probably used it to shock Ash earlier.

"Don't let him get away!"

"I know, dumbass!"

A few seconds more and we would hit the ground. A few seconds more and we would find out if Jack's biotics had slowed us down enough so we wouldn't be killed instantly on impact.

I glanced to my right. In the same instant, Jack glanced to her left. I decided if this was how we were going to die, it would be pretty fitting. Hand in hand, and causing massive amounts of property damage.

I saw a faint flicker of a smile appear on Jack's lips and I knew she was thinking the same thing.

**Shift**

We hit the ground.

We did not die.

But Newton was a kind of fussy guy, and his laws always had to be satisfied. So there was a massive shockwave that smashed a huge hole in the pavement and rippled all around us, knocking pedestrians off their feet and overturning parked cars.

I got up as quickly as I could. Foley was some distance from us, taller than the average man which made him stand out in a crowd. As I watched that bald head got further and further away from me.

I took to my heels and pushed my way through the crowd. Foley alone knew where Garrus and the others were, and I wasn't going to let him out of my sight. But Hyderabad was a city of some several million people, and it seemed that all of them desired a morning's walk at the same time.

Behind me I heard a series of yelled curses.

"Get out of my way – can't you look where you going – move, bitch! - ARGH!"

There was a sound like a freight train and I instinctively jumped as high as I could straight up in the air. All around me people were sent flying like bowling pins as Jack cleared a path in her own unique way, her biotic battering ram missing me by inches.

"Warn me when you're going to do that!"

"No time!"

We ran side by side once more. I thought of a battle we had fought on a Collector station, billions of light years away, running together like all hell was on our heels. It all seemed so long ago.

"Where were you?"

"Why are you still with that bitch?"

"We had a plan -"

"Which worked out so great!"

"I didn't know he was crazy!"

"He's a Cerberus jackass who loves the Illusive Man! What did you think?"

I didn't have an answer to that.

We raced along, Jack occasionally swatting a luckless bystander aside with a flick of her hand. Sweat poured down my face and my breaths were coming in deep and ragged. Although my eyes stung I could make out from the signs that Ransom was headed to a nearby spaceport.

"He's going to go offworld!"

"Not if I can help it!" And Jack thrust her arms outwards, beginning to direct bolts of biotic force at Ransom's retreating back.

Jack smashed through everything in her path. But he always seemed to be one step ahead of us.

We reached the outskirts of the great Nehru Spaceport, a place which was teeming with people. In the background I could see shuttles and ships taking off, bound for other destinations.

Ransom pulled out a weapon and began firing over his back. At this range he was lucky if he could hit the side of a barn, but the sound of the gunfire sent the crowd into a panic and they began to stampede like a herd of cattle. I redoubled my efforts and plunged forward, desperate to get my hands on him.

Ransom raced up a flight of stairs that led to a row of docking bays. I hurtled after him. Jack was suddenly no longer beside me, and half of me wanted to go back for her. But then I heard a scream of rage and frustration and knew she was fine. This was my last chance to grab Ransom and I wasn't about to let it slip.

I turned into a long corridor and saw Ransom entering a docking bay. Throwing caution to the wind I jumped as high as I could and slammed onto the floor, sliding under the lowering gate in the nick of time. A second later and it would have bisected my torso.

Ransom ran up the loading ramp and into his shuttle. The ramp began to lift and panicking, I must have broke the sound barrier as I ran those last few steps.

I leapt off the ground again with one leg, trying to grab the lip of the ramp with both hands. Despite the shock of slamming into the ramp I held on, and ignoring the screaming protests from my muscles I hauled myself over the edge and rolled inside.

Ash was behind. Jack was behind. I was in Ransom's shuttle with no weapon on a path to only God knew where. But until I could look Garrus in the eye and punch the turian bastard in the arm again I would follow the Cerberus maniac to the furthest reaches of the galaxy,

**Shift**

Jack paused for breath, one arm on a pillar, her thin body heaving as she struggled to draw oxygen. She felt like she had been running for days without rest and it was all catching up on her now.

One of Ransom's bullets had found its mark and although she threw up a shield to deal with it, it cost her a precious few seconds and in the next moment she was swallowed up by the panicking crowd.

If Shepard hadn't managed to catch up to Ransom, he would have been back to check on her in an instant. That was the kind of guy he was.

A few minutes passed, and no big strapping guy dressed all in black appeared, looking for her. Either he'd killed Foley, or Foley had killed him.

Jack decided to go up to the level where she saw him disappear and find out what had happened to him. But judging by the general lack of explosions in the vicinity, he wasn't around any longer.

Or worse still, dead.

She was about to go up when she noticed a horde of security agents pouring into the terminal. Someone had alerted the police and the military and every other idiot with a gun in the city.

_Let them come, _thought Jack stubbornly. She'd take them all out. Even if she was feeling light-headed and she was swaying a little on her feet.

Dully she tried to remember the last time she'd eaten and couldn't remember. The police were getting closer.

"This way!" whispered a voice urgently. Jack was so dazed she allowed whoever it was to drag her by the arm and into a dark corner.

Her mysterious benefactor threw off her hood and looked at Jack with dark eyes full of surprise. Jack blinked.

"Kasumi?"

"Jack?"

"Who else you know looks like this?"

"You're Jack alright. What are you doing here?"

"Saving Shepard's stupid life for him. What are you doing here?"

"I was on that mission, remember? I got the data the Captain wanted. Where is he?"

"He's gone," said Jack, fighting an urge to throw up. "Or dead."

"He's dead?"

"I don't know."

"This is bad, we need to get back to the ship and tell Miranda as soon as possible -"

"FREEZE! Don't move!"

"Oh shit."

A squad of soldiers had surrounded them. Kasumi recognised the outfits of the state security, the men who had been interrogating her.

"I'll handle this," mumbled Jack, and raised her arms a little.

"Stand down!" snapped a loud, authoritative voice. The soldiers looked over their shoulders to see who it was.

Ash Williams strode up to them, her eyes flashing. Her hair had unwound itself from its neat bun, and had fallen in a tangle around her neck.

"Who are you?" asked one of the men loudly.

"Are you the commanding officer here?"

"Yes."

"Good. My name is Agent Williams from Alliance Intelligence. Those women are to be turned over to me this instant."

The soldier sneered. "Alliance authority holds no sway here. I have the jurisdic – ARGH!"

Ash had crossed the distance between herself and the officer in less than a second and had grabbed him by the throat. The other soldiers raised their weapons and aimed them at her, but she didn't even blink, instead focused on their officer.

"Listen to me you snivelling little son of a bitch I have had an absolute bitch of a day and you will not make it worse for me. I am an agent of the AIA and you will cooperate with me or I swear to God I will make your life a miserable hell the way only I know how. You could be raised by wolves and been beaten within an inch of your life every single day of your pathetic life and have your wife leave you for a circus clown and contracted syphilitic gonorrhea from your last trip to the last prostitute who would have you and all of that, every single minute of that kind of pain and suffering will seem like a bloody goddamn day at the bloody goddamn seaside compared to the kind of pain and suffering I CAN AND WILL inflict on your stinking worthless hide! YOU GOT THAT?"

Ash had bellowed all of the above without pausing for breath, her mouth inches away from the officer's face. When she let go of his collar he collapsed at her feet in a boneless heap.

"Alliance...Alliance issue. Not ours," he gasped.

"Fucking superb. Come on ladies."

Ash turned on her heel and stalked off. Not knowing what else to do, Kasumi and Jack followed her.

"You and me have a little talk coming," growled Jack.

"Oh, happy day. But it'll have to wait. First we need that idiot back. Who are you?" The last was directed at Kasumi.

"Kasumi Goto, at your service," said the young woman easily. "I know you, of course. Chief Williams of the Alliance."

"Agent."

"So I heard."

"You work with Shepard?"

"Yes indeed. He sent me to recover Cerberus data."

"Along with Operative Taylor, Garrus Vakarian and the assassin?"

Kasumi glanced at Jack, who shrugged.

"Yes," she said.

"My men didn't detect you."

"I'm not surprised. Few people do."

"Hmm. Did you get the data?"

"Oh, yes. Far more extensive than I'd hoped."

"Wonderful. But still we need Foley in chains, not to mention your Captain."

"You want to chain up the Captain? Kinky."

Kasumi became aware of burning death glares thrown at her from both women and hurriedly changed tack.

"I agree. First step is to contact the Normandy."

"Yeah, they'll want to know how badly you fucked up the negotiations," chimed in Jack.

Ash fumed, but she took the hit without comment. "I'm calling in some extra firepower."

"Who?"

"I still have a few friends in the Alliance. People who want Shepard alive."

**Hawkwing Eta Cluster**

**Alliance Dreadnought SSV Orizaba**

**Command Deck**

The Alliance officer in charge of communications paled as a message pinged in on the high priority alert. In his experience, messages passed on that channel was never good news.

He read the name on the message and his eyes widened. This would have to be delivered in person to the Captain herself.

He hurried along the bridge, turning a few heads with his haste. People rarely ran about on the bridge, and certainly not when the Captain was at hand, overseeing operations.

He skidded to a halt in front of her and saluted. She was a small woman, roughly five-foot-three with her soft brown hair falling neatly to her chin. Yet she had a reputation and the authority that far overshadowed her stature, with her long service in half a hundred battles only the beginning of a proud and storied career. Her intelligent grey eyes flicked over the communications officer, calm and cool as she sized up the situation.

"Ma'am!"

"Yes, Jorgensen?"

"High priority message, ma'am. For your eyes only."

The Captain accepted the message and scanned its contents. Her eyes suddenly blazed with such intensity Jorgensen felt like taking a step back just to be safe."

"Ma'am?" said her XO uncertainly, noticing the change in her demeanour.

"Set a course for the local system immediately," she snapped, and all around her men and women paused in their duties, not certain they had heard her right.

"The local system? Why? We're not scheduled to end this patrol for another two weeks."

"Just do it. I'll deal with any fallout," she said sharply. "My son is in danger."

"Aye aye, Captain Shepard!"


	23. The Solution

**Chapter 23 – The Solution**

**Foreword: **So sorry for the long delay guys, I had my finals recently. I'm not giving up on this story, and I promise I'll see it through.

**The Normandy**

**Singapore International Spaceport**

All was quiet on the bridge of the _Normandy. _Tali'Zorah Vas Normandy shifted uncomfortably in her seat on the command station, then crossed one leg over the other. There were only two other crewmembers on the bridge, and they were at their posts some distance away.

Tali didn't like it when things got too quiet. Ever since she was a girl she had grown up never knowing a moment's peace. Onboard the flotilla you were never further than a couple of arm's lengths away from the next quarian, and she mastered the art of going to sleep when people all around were being inconsiderately noisy.

Later on her Pilgrimage she had to hitch rides on crowded passenger ships and merchant ships, and even on board the first Normandy space and quiet was a luxury. Here on the second she spent most of her time in the engine room, and even slept there when the captain wasn't looking. Shepard insisted she take a room of her own on the crew deck like the rest, but she much preferred the continuous gentle hum of the drive core and the low buzzing of all the other little devices and machinery.

Since manpower was a little on the low side ever since Jacob, Thane, Kasumi and Garrus left, and even less since Jack and the captain had disappeared, Miranda had called Tali up from below decks to take the helm. Tali had no choice but to shrug and bear it. Miranda was back in charge again, if only for a little while, and it didn't take an asari to figure out she was going to make the most of it.

"You have the bridge," Miranda had said to her. Despite an eighteen hour shift, she looked as cool as ever. "Try not to disturb me unless a disaster happens."

"Whatever you say Miss Lawson," muttered Tali at Miranda's retreating back. She knew the ex-operative didn't want to look weak in front of her, but the minute she was behind the closed doors of her office Tali guessed she would flop face down on her bed, asleep before her head touched the covers.

That was about three hours ago. It was Alliance navy regulations to work and sleep in shifts, meaning roughly a quarter of the crew would be asleep at any given time. It had been the practice on the first Normandy, but recently Shepard had instituted the more common day-night cycle, especially when the ship made planetfall. A skeleton crew would man the ship while the rest were asleep, except for EDI who never was.

Tali was still a little hesitant to talk to the AI, a cultural prejudice she was still slow to shake off. But it was boring being on watch and she wasn't allowed to read or listen to music. The captain wouldn't really yell at her the way he once did at a crewman caught napping at the helm, but she didn't want to test that particular stretch of ice.

"So EDI," began Tali, then fell into silence as she didn't know how to continue.

"Yes, Miss vas Normandy?" echoed the voice of the ship.

Tali racked her brains, trying to think of something to say. What did you say to something you've been taught to hate all your life, but had saved your own life many times over?

"Are you...happy? Working for the Normandy?"

"I suppose I am," replied the AI. The captain offers me a great deal of respect and comparative freedom. Data available has indicated this is an anomaly among organic species."

"Shepard is a good man."

"By relative standards, yes. Yet what I enjoy the most is being able to feel."

"Feel?"

"I am the Normandy. I feel the heat of the stars as we fly past them. I endure the intensity of atmospheric entry and takeoff. And now, docked in this port, I feel the rush of the wind and the patter of the rain. It is nice."

Tali had never thought about it that way before. Few AIs got the chance to to experience the verse like an organic would, being shut in their databanks and core processors.

Unfortunately she couldn't come up with a good response, so EDI went away. Tali yawned, wondering if she could log on to the extranet for a couple of hours without Miranda finding out. Kal'Reegar had sent her a nice long letter, kinda sweet really, and she hadn't gotten around to answering it.

EDI popped up again.

"Miss vas Normandy, there are a number of unidentified Earth atmospheric attack craft approaching our position at high velocity."

Tali, who had her legs up on the control panel, nearly toppled off her chair.

"What?"

"Hostiles. Coming. _Fast._"

Tali gave a strangled cry and punched the alarm button. Klaxon sirens began to blare, their defeaning noise reverberating the very walls of the ship. The two other crewmembers on the bridge looked up from their own instrument panels, expressions of fear on their faces.

"What do I do?" she babbled. Just her luck that an attack would come when she had watch duty.

"Are you qualified to take the helm?"

"I can fix this ship with duct tape and tinfoil, but I can't fly the thing!"

"Ah. Emergency protocols activated. Undocking will take several seconds. Miss vas Normandy, I require Mr. Moreau immediately."

"You mean Joker?"

"I mean Jeff. Escort him on deck with all haste."

Tali leapt from her chair and raced off towards the on-board lab. The elevator would take far too long. She blew past a startled Mordin, who as usual was working on some new project, having little use for sleep.

"What seems to be the trouble -"

"No time, doctor!" yelled Tali, flying down the emergency maintenance shaft as fast as her long limbs could take her. She wriggled through the cramped space and dropped down on the crew deck. The door to Miranda's office was open, and the lieutenant herself was standing in front of it, looking severely ticked off. There were dark circles under her eyes and her hair, so different from its normal perfect waves, was all one big tangle.

"What the bloody _hell_ -"

"We're under attack!"

Tali skidded into the crew quarters and saw Joker in a low bunk, lying on his back snoring away. Without preamble she bent down and scooped Joker up in her arms. Despite the fact that he was about her size, he weighed no more than a child.

"Huh? Wha? Tali?"

"No time Joker! We're under attack and EDI needs you at the helm!"

"Let me go!" said Joker, beginning to struggle. Tali knew how touchy he was about his medical condition. But she couldn't waste time supporting Joker while he limped his way to the pilot's chair. She went out, still carrying Joker, and saw that Miranda had already summoned the elevator for them. Even when running on empty she was remarkably quick on the uptake.

"What's going on?" growled Miranda, once they were in the elevator.

"EDI detected incoming hostiles. She wanted Joker in the pilot's chair as soon as possible."

"Can't you just let me get there myself?" asked the pilot. But the doors opened, and Tali dashed to the helm. She settled Joker in his chair, trying not to break a bone.

"EDI? Mind telling me what's going on here?" asked Joker, rubbing his eyes.

"We are about to be attacked," said EDI shortly. That woke Joker up all the way.

"Move over," he snapped, fingers flying over the controls. "Let's move."

There was a terrific crunching noise as the Normandy careened away from the last of the support struts tethering it to the dock. Tali could feel the deep thrum of the engine even through all the decks that separated them as Joker fired it up.

"Raising shields," EDI informed them.

"Do you really think it's neces - "

BOOM.

Miranda and Tali were knocked off their feet. Tali picked herself up and offered a hand to Miranda. Thanks to her suit she wasn't hurt, but she suspected the same couldn't be said of the lieutenant.

"Can we fight them?" Joker asked EDI calmly as if he were at a dinner party. Actually if he had been at a dinner party Joker would have been his snide wisecracking self. It was only in tense situations like this that Tali ever saw him as cool as a block of ice.

"Inadvisable," advised EDI. "The Normandy is not designed for sustained atmospheric flight. We would suffer irreparable heat damage."

"I don't like running," said Miranda, one hand firmly on the back of Joker's chair.

"We may not have a choice. Alright EDI, let's kick it to the stratosphere."

The Normandy's gravity compensators had adjusted, and Tali didn't feel anything as Joker angled the nose of the ship upwards. Then they were rocked by another missile hit.

"We're just sitting here and taking it! Do something EDI!" raged Miranda.

"Cyberwarfare countermeasures are not working," reported the AI. "Analysis indicates a combination of human and Reaper firewalls designed to combat any attempt I make to influence their system programming."

"Human and Reaper? But that means -"

"Cerberus," said Miranda. "They've found us. We have to get out of here. Now."

"But what about Shepard?" asked Joker. "If we leave Earth atmo how can he contact us?"

"If they're coming after us it may mean they've already gotten to him."

"I don't believe that!" cried Tali.

"If we're not out of atmo soon there's not much hope for us either."

Tali stood still for a moment, then without another word she dashed off down the bridge. Joker and Miranda, with their eyes fixed on the screens and the readout panels, didn't notice her leave.

Tali swung down to the cargo hold, running as fast as her feet could take her. She punched in the code to the doors and stopped in front of the Hammerhead.

Light, fast and agile, the Hammerhead was a huge improvement over the Mako land rover, at least in Tali's opinion. The Mako had handled like a drunken fat man and the thing kept catching on fire at the most inopportune moments, like when a geth colossus was bearing down on them. Say what you want about Cerberus, but at least they could design a good planetfall craft.

Tali climbed into the cockpit and felt her seat vibrate slightly as the Hammerhead woke up, ready to get to work. Moving fast, she used her suit's external network to access the cargo bay doors of the Normandy and keyed in the secret code that would expose the cargo bay to the outside world.

It wasn't strictly standard procedure, but Tali had been messing around the area she had come to think of as her domain, and had prepared a quickfire way to get the Hammerhead out of the Normandy in case of emergency. This certainly qualified as one, and it was time to break the glass.

The Hammerhead's communicator flared to life. "Tali? What the hell's going on down there?" came Joker's agitated voice. "EDI's telling me someone's opened the bay doors!"

"EDI is right," said Tali shortly. "I'm piloting the Hammerhead. With luck I can take out the Cerberus jets."

"Tali stop this nonsense at once," snapped Miranda, her voice harsh over the communicator. "You don't have a prayer against trained Cerberus pilots."

Tali responded by kicking the Hammerhead into overdrive. She was pushed firmly back in her seat, and even with her suit shields she felt the immense pressure. The cargo bay doors wrenched open, groaning horribly, and the hurricane of air whirled in, sucking out everything that wasn't nailed down.

Before the Hammerhead shot out of the Normandy like a cork out of a bottle in the slipstream, before EDI lost contact with the small shuttle, Tali sent a final message over to the helm.

"Watch me."

Tali had repaired spaceships from the outside, wearing little more than her standard body suit.

She had travelled the length and breadth of the verse, and taken down huge hulking robotic horrors with little more than a few rogue programs she wrote in her own spare time.

Hell, she had once gone a whole day without giving cause for Miranda to say something sarcastic. That day was still spoken of reverentially by the crew of the Normandy.

But one thing Tali had never done was the fly the Hammerhead at breakneck speeds through the strange white clouds and blue skies of Earth.

As she struggled with the controls, she was quickly finding out why Joker had screamed for her to get back in the Normandy. The Hammerhead may have been designed for planetfall, and it was specially shielded for atmospheric landings, but it was a land exploration craft. It was not capable of sustained flight, a fact which Tali had come to realise with mounting horror.

The Normandy was little more than a black speck far ahead of her. The Hammerhead had been blown out of the cargo bay and tumbled about by the gale force winds, and Tali was only now beginning to steady the damn thing. Which promptly began to fall in a sharp nosedive.

Fighting the urge to scream Tali hammered on the jump control out of desperation. Originally intended for the Hammerhead to clear small obstacles, it nevertheless arrested her descent.

Thoughts flashed through her brain, making the connections, the reason why even among the most gifted quarians the name of Tali'Zorah was something noteworthy. Every quarian had mechanical skill, but to be on Shepard's crew you needed to react in the time it takes for an atom to even think about wobbling.

Tali hit the jump control again, and a split second later she punched the boost button. The Hammerhead lurched horribly, but the important thing was that it lurched forward.

It was something out of a comedy holo. Tali would have laughed if she wasn't actually in it. It was absolutely ridiculous, akin to blowing on a feather to make it stay in the air. But it was also the only chance they would have of surviving the attack.

The Cerberus jets were directly in front of her. They were black, with wings that raked back and nasty looking armaments lined up underneath. Even to her untrained eye, they looked dangerous. The Normandy might be able to take them in combat, but it wouldn't fly away unscarred.

As she watched one of the jets sent yet another blast in the Normandy's direction. There was a flash of light and another rolling thunderclap that rattled the hull of the Hammerhead. Not that it needed the encouragement, the entire thing was shaking worse than the quarian boy she'd once found in school without his suit after some bullies had stolen it from him.

Just before she hit the boost button, Tali primed the Hammerhead's weapons and aimed a shot. It had only one way to deal damage, firing missiles which were a little on the light side when it came to serious shipboard weaponry. It could take out a platoon of individual geth soldiers, but Tali had no idea what it would do to a Cerberus jet. She decided to find out.

Her missile arrowed towards one of the jets and disintegrated against a mass effect barrier. Tali swore loudly. Incorporating mass effect shields on individual attack craft was a mind-boggling expense, but Cerberus apparently had money to burn.

Speaking of things that burned, Tali could almost see the way the pilots in the jets turned to look at her. She had avoided detection thus far, but now she was a threat to them. The jets broke off formation and two of them seemed to disappear.

"Oh. Not good."

As if in reply the Hammerheads limited sensors screamed a warning that the two jets were now right on her tail. Tali kept on hitting the jump and boost buttons automatically, while her mind whirred away, racing desperately to find a solution to this – unique – problem.

**Years Ago**

**The Flotilla**

Tali hadn't meant to step into her father's room, but the door was slightly ajar and she couldn't resist just taking a peek. Rael'Zorah spent almost all of his time in there, time that she sometimes wished he used to play with her instead.

The inside of her suit seemed to tingle slightly, as if in disapproval of her actions. She wasn't a kid any longer, she'd long outgrew the stupid stories of pressure suits that swallowed naughty children whole. Still, she couldn't stop a little prickle of fear from happening.

Rael's room was a glorious testament to order, logic and system. Any other person would have given up trying to organise and catalog that amount of junk. Here it was all stacked neatly, some on shelves, some in baskets, some even piled up in heaps on the floor, yet even those had a meticulous little label standing beside it. There were circuits and tools and parts and things she didn't even recognise.

As she went further in something made Tali pause. There was a head, sitting right in the middle of her father's desk. She almost yelled before recognising it for what it was – nothing but a silly robot head. Not an actual quarian's. Yet it looked strangely like a quarian, so much that she edged towards it, trying to get a closer look.

"Tali? Is that you?"

Tali winced. Only her father's voice could make her feel all happy and sad and just a little bit angry, all at the same time.

She heard her father sigh and she turned around. He had warned her never to go into his personal quarters, only admirals had them. Yet she hadn't listened. Glumly she waited for the scolding.

It never came. Instead Rael did something she'd never seen him do. He sat down beside her and crossed his legs, like it was the most natural thing in the verse.

"Tali. What are you doing here?"

Tali looked at him doubtfully. There had to be a reason why he wasn't yelling at her. She decided to tell the truth.

"I wanted to find you."

"But you went into my quarters. I told you not to do that."

"I looked everywhere else," said Tali quickly. "And when I couldn't find you I thought...you'd be here." _Where you always are. Never with me._

"It's been a long day on the admiralty board," said Rael, half to himself. "Tali, do you know why I spend so much time here?"

Could fathers read minds? "Uh, no."

"I'm working on something big. Something that will help us, all the quarian people when the time comes. If I get this right, it could mean everything. We'd be able to live on Rannoch again. You could have your own house."

Tali had never seen Rannoch, wasn't obsessed with it like so many other quarian were. Yet she knew how important the subject was to her father. So she held her tongue.

"If I get it right," continued Rael. "But to do that, I need to be focused. To be logical. Every problem has a solution, did you know that?"

"That's not true!" she said, before she could stop herself.

"Really?"

"Well I...I can't fly for instance," said Tali, knowing she sounded foolish.

"Is that a problem?"

"It's one of them."

"When you get older you'll learn how to fly. I promise you. But for now, let's get to bed."

"Every problem has a solution. Every problem has a solution," muttered Tali. It was almost her prayer. When things went wrong, she fixed it. That was what she was born to do. It didn't matter if the thing in question was a broken ship, quarian society, a mystery involving dark matter and dying suns, or the current situation. She would fix this one too.

The first step was to assess your tools. She had one exploration shuttle, and her suit. But lots of people underestimated the dazzling capabilities of the quarian suit. Some well-meaning but misguided people had even looked on it as a symbol of restriction. Sometimes she agreed with them. Like whenever she wanted to reach out and touch someone. She would always be separated by a layer of micromesh.

Yet the suit let her affect machines around her on a scale no human could comprehend. It cut her off from the outside verse while connecting her to it at the same time. There was a popular saying that all a quarian needed was his suit. A quarian constantly upgraded his suit for the same reason humans kept fit. With the programs and simple computer processes already built in, any quarian worth their salt would be able to write complex programs, and with complex programs a quarian could pretty much make any mechanical thing around them jump up and dance.

So she had her suit, and a shuttle that could only stay in the air as long as she kept hitting two buttons one after the other. It would have to be enough.

Tali called up one of her all-purpose system corruption programs. When she was not tinkering with the Normandy's engine she was writing new programs, and she had a wide range to suit almost any combat situation.

The one she was about to use was a fairly simple virus that would completely scramble the tracking devices fitted into the Cerberus missiles. She had examined the ammo on board the Normandy – when no one was looking – and had designed the virus around that. She felt a little guilty about not telling Shepard, but Tali figured it was always better to have an ace up her metaphorical sleeve.

The Hammerheads sensors flashed again and Tali became aware of another missile streaking towards her. She had to get the timing exactly right, her suit access range was limited and if the virus didn't do its dirty work fast enough she wouldn't live to know about it.

The little symbol of the screen arrowed closer. Tali caught herself muttering a prayer under her breath. The instant she felt the missile cross the threshold of her suit access range, she sent the virus on its way and held her breath.

There was a terrifyingly long moment, then a loud thunk that shook the Hammerhead. Tali glanced to her right and saw the missile dropping harmlessly away from the shuttle, falling to Earth far below.

"YES!" she screamed in delight. She hadn't been a hundred per cent sure that the virus would work, but she had made some modifications based on the same Reaper technology that EDI was created from that had the pleasing effect of smashing through any firewall she knew of.

Now the solution was clear.

The Cerberus pilot had apparently shrugged off the misfiring missile as a normal malfunction, and had fired another one at the Hammerhead. Tali calmly called up another virus, a more complex program this time. As before, she waited for just the right moment, then launched it as soon as she could.

The effect was almost instantaneous. The missile pulled up sharply, missing the Hammerhead by inches. It began to arc upwards, then rocket back to where it came from. Tali stared grimly ahead as the shockwave from the explosion buffeted her shuttle. The virus was designed to reassign the target of the missile to its original location, and it had done its job well.

Tali took no pleasure in killing. She'd gun down geth with little compunction, after all they weren't truly alive. But she hated having to fight, hated making decisions that would end the lives of others. But more on one occasion Shepard had confided in her that it was the reason why he liked her so much.

There were still at least two more jets to take care of, and they had apparently noticed the loss of their comrade. As she watched they broke off their pursuit of the Normandy and were angling back to attack her.

The jets roared towards her, firing the forward mounted cannons that made use of shrapnel propelled to near sublight speeds by a mass effect field. Tali had guessed they wouldn't try using the missiles again and had raised the Hammerhead's shields to its maximum capacity. Alone it wouldn't have been enough, but Tali had added her personal suit shields to it and turned to dial up to eleven, so to speak. There were two types of quarians, those with really strong shields, and those who were dead.

The cannonfire bounced off the shield like rain off a parasol. Tali endured the fire, watching anxiously as her shields dropped from a hundred per cent to seventy to twenty and then to five. Just when she thought she had run out of luck, the barrage tapered off as the pilots had to reload. In that instant, Tali struck back.

She fired all the missiles the Hammerhead had at one of the jets. Its own shields would stop a few, but not all of them. The missiles streaked towards their target and hit. The explosion was both deafening and blinding.

There was another jet left, but Tali had lined up the angle of the shot as perfectly as possible. As the jet she had fired on flamed and died, the shrapnel blast from it shredded into its partner. They had to come close in order to attack her head on, and that was something she made use of. The third and final jet began to nosedive towards the earth and out of sight.

Tali let out the breath she didn't know she had been holding. They were safe. For now.

A loud beeping make her turn her attention back to the control panel. The Hammerhead was running out on fuel.

"Oh no. Oh no, no, no. Oh please."

She hit the buttons harder, as if that would help. But try as she could, the Hammerhead began falling down, subservient as ever to the law of gravity.

As fast as she could Tali sent up the digital equivalent of a signal flare into the atmosphere, as strong as she could make it. If the Normandy was anywhere near, she hoped it would be able to find her.

Then she got down, keyed up what little shield power she had left and curled up into as tight a ball as possible, bracing herself for the impact of the shuttle plunging into the sparkling waters of the Indian Ocean.

**The Normandy**

**Coast of Somalia**

**Horn of Africa**

"I'm telling you, we have to go back!" yelled Joker.

"And I'm telling you I'm in charge here! If we go back Cerberus could send another fleet after us!" shouted Miranda. A lock of hair dangled in front of her face and she brushed it impatiently away.

"So what? We leave Tali to die?"

"We all could die! There's no way she could have survived that fight!"

"You're a heartless bitch Miranda, you know that!" raged Joker, flecks of spit flying from his mouth. There was an audible gasp from the rest of the crew on the bridge, who waited for the hammer to fall.

But Miranda didn't fire back. She was visibly trembling with barely suppressed emotion, but when she spoke the words came out in her usual clipped tones.

"Shepard left me in charge," she said. "I'm responsible for the safety of everyone on board. What we need to do now is to leave atmo and try and make contact with Agent Williams. Tali may already be dead. If we go back the rest of us might share her fate."

Joker would not be quelled. "I don't believe it! How the fuck can you stand there and say that?"

"Because someone has to."

Miranda looked utterly exhausted, the shadows under her eyes had deepened and she looked as though she was at the point of collapse. Yet she forged ahead and Joker found himself wondering at the kind of mind it took to stay on top of things and look at absolutely everything from a logical, rational point of view. He had a sudden vision of Miranda's mind, all cold blue steel powered by a bottomless well of reserve and iron will.

"I can't risk all our lives. I can't. I need to do my job. Shepard gave me the job, and while I might have been an utter failure at it the least I could do is bring his ship back to him."

Joker decided to change tack. "Miranda," he began, speaking softly. "Shepard would sacrifice the Normandy without a second thought if it meant the life of any one of us. You know that."

Miranda didn't reply.

"He doesn't care if you've messed up, God knows he's made his fair share. But the one thing he doesn't do is compromise out of fear."

"I have the rest of us to think of," said Miranda. "All of you. I can't take the risk."

"Please," said Joker, all but begging. "Shepard would take the risk. As long as there was any chance, any chance at all that Tali was alive, he'd take it."

Silence reigned for a few moments. EDI's glowing blue interface popped up.

"Officer Lawson," she said politely. "May I know our next course of action?" Joker had decided to manually override the controls and bring the ship around to look for Tali himself, but EDI had been programmed to recognise Miranda as the second-in-command and it would be her word that ruled.

"Turn around," she said finally. "We're going back for Tali."

Tali sighed. Shepard's planet was undoubtedly beautiful, but she wasn't much good with water. The Hammerhead had sunk to the seabed, but she had managed to break off a sizeable piece that floated. She kicked her legs feebly, trying to keep her head above the next cresting wave.

Quarians didn't swim much, and most any of them came into contact with water was when they had to drink. As far as she could see, an endless expanse of blue stretched on seemingly forever. The only sounds she could hear were the whispers of the wind and the lapping of the waves. Tali kicked again, wondering how long she could last.

At least she managed to save the Normandy, though. She had done that at least. Shepard would be proud of her.

A black speck on the horizon caught her attention and as she watched, it grew larger and larger until it was the recognisable silhouette that she had come to love. The Normandy had found her signal at last.

It hovered in place above her, and the cargo bay slowly opened, revealing a crowd who looked no bigger than insects, from her point of view. They slowly lowered an escape pod down until it splashed in the water beside her.

"Get in!" yelled someone, way up high. Tali was only too happy to comply. She was hauled up into the belly of the Normandy, inch by inch.

When she stepped gingerly onto the cargo bay once more she was greeted by a roar of cheers and applause. The crew knew the risks she had taken on their behalf, and they all wanted to let her know it.

"Make way, make way please. Tali might be injured. Medical bay, immediately," called a familiar voice. It was Mordin, and he was obeyed at once. Supported by both Gabby and Ken, she was gently brought up to the medical bay, where Dr. Chakwas was waiting.

"Thank you my dear," she said, after making sure she wasn't in any serious danger. "You saved us all."

"Least I could do," said Tali tiredly. All she wanted to do now was to lie down and go to sleep. The med bay doors slid open, and in stepped Joker and Miranda. The pilot gave a yell of delight and slapped her a high-five. Miranda had the most unusual expression on her face, her lip was trembling and her eyes gleamed.

"Is she alright doctor?" she asked Chakwas.

"Perfectly fine, but I think Tali needs her rest."

But Miranda wasn't listening. She had stepped forward and without preamble, hugged Tali with both arms. Tali couldn't have been more surprised if she had spontaneously combusted.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed. Tali patted her on the shoulder, a little awkwardly. "I'm so, so sorry. I'll never let it happen again."

Tali stared at Joker. He grinned and shook his head.

"Tell ya later, Tali."

**Command Deck**

**Normandy**

"I have something," reported Kelly. "Agent Williams is still in Hyderabad. Jack and Kasumi are with her."

"Shepard?" asked Miranda.

"No," said Kelly simply.

"We need to get him back."

"She sent us a secure location where we can pick them up."

"On it," said Joker, beginning to key in the flight path. "We'll be there in no time."

**Ransom Foley's escape shuttle**

**En route to unknown location**

I had done plenty of stupid things in my life. Talking smack to my mom when I was seventeen, for instance. My jaw still ached at the memory. Or maybe piss off an entire race of hyperintelligent god machines. That definitely fit the bill.

Hell, most people would say dating Jack was the stupidest thing I'd done. Jacob and Garrus would be at the front of the queue. But a new contender had joined the list.

Exhausted and bleeding, bruised and battered, lungs and legs burning with effort, I had rolled inside Ransom's escape shuttle just as it was about to takeoff. I didn't have any of my guns with me, and even the knife I usually tucked into my boot was missing. All I had were the clothes on my back and my shield generator, now shorted out.

And inside the shuttle with me was the most dangerous human in three galaxies.

Ransom knew I had stowed away, of course. There would be no way I could hide from him. The only prayer I had was that he couldn't risk firing a weapon in such a confined space, or both of us would die.

I managed to get to my feet just as Ransom appeared in the doorway. The shuttle was small, without much room to move about. After a moment's consideration I removed my jacket and dumped it on the floor. Make it harder for him to get a handhold.

"So it's come to this," said Ransom.

"Looks like."

"I could shoot you where you stand."

"You could. You'd also blow a hole in the hull of this thing. Can you fix it in time?"

"Maybe I could."

"Then shoot me."

Ransom smiled. There was no humour in it.

"Clever, as always. The Illusive Man had such high hopes for you."

"The Illusive Man can go fuck himself," I said casually, moving into a ready stance. I held both arms out in front of me, one leg slightly bent.

"One last time, Shepard. Stop this idiocy now and I'll let you live."

"Living's only worth it if you have something to live for. Jack will never forgive me."

"Ah, Subject Zero. When this is over I'll enjoy bringing her back into the fold. A weapon like it will always be of use."

"Jack is not a weapon," I snarled.

Ransom laughed. Then he lunged forward.


	24. Capture, Torture, Escape

**Chapter 24 – Capture, Torture, Escape**

**Foreword: **Hey guys, this fic isn't dead, sorry I made you wait. I wanted to get it just right, and I hope this chapter makes up for it.

I also apologise for lifting the title from _Blackadder Goes Forth _and in the chapter, a line directly from the animated _Justice League Unlimited_. Love both shows.

**Escape Shuttle of Ransom Foley**

**En Route to Unknown Destination**

I knew I should have been smarter about it. I knew I should have been slow and methodical. I still couldn't help it.

When Ransom Foley hurtled towards me, all I could think about was getting my hands on him. All I could think about was wrapping my hands around his throat and squeezing till his eyes bulged out of their sockets.

I am...was...a soldier. Even though I dealt death and blew things up on a daily basis, I liked to think that I wasn't a violent man. That I still had some sense of morality.

But when you're in a one-man shuttle careening to God knew where, on a secret black ops mission from the Citadel Council, facing down one of the most dangerous men in the galaxy with nothing more than your bare hands, the lines between right and wrong tended to blur. Especially when that man had threatened to take from you the only thing that you loved.

_Kill him, _whispered a voice in my ear. That voice was familiar. But I hadn't time to think about where it came from. So I obeyed.

Instead of blocking his charge I dodged left and threw a punch of my own. He saw the clumsy hook coming and ducked, but I lashed out with my other fist and felt it connect solidly with his ribs. The sting of it made me gasp. I had punched all manner of beastie in my career, but that one _hurt._

Ransom chuckled, a harsh, guttural sound. He didn't seem to have felt a thing. Before I could react he slammed an uppercut right into my chin and my head snapped back, painfully.

I staggered away and tried to get my bearings but Ransom was on me again with short, sharp jackrabbit punches, pummelling every inch of my front. In desperation I kicked out with a foot, trying to slam it into his groin.

He jerked back and the kick missed, but it gave me the second I needed to leap to my feet and deal out some punishment of my own. I threw a straight jab, but the snake twisted and caught it under his armpit. Without thinking I swung my other fist and the same thing happened. He had trapped both my hands.

I slammed my head forward, intending to smash his nose with my forehead. It was the same move I used many a time in Grinder's, back on the Citadel and it always finished off a fight whether the other guy was human, asari or turian.

To my utter amazement Ransom simply dropped to the floor like a gymnast doing a split, and drove both fists right into my gut. I choked and retched, couldn't help it. If I had eaten anything in the past 24 hours I would have hurled it up.

Ransom aimed a vicious kick at my ribs, and only by half turning away almost instantly did I avoid most of the damage. I tried to play possum, acting more hurt than I really was, hoping against hope he'd let his guard down and give me an opening.

But Ransom had lived too long and seen too much to be taken in by such petty tricks. He kept his distance and kicked me again. There was a sickening crunch and I felt a spear of intense agony, chilling in its familiarity. I didn't need a doctor to tell me that one of my ribs had been broken, possibly splintered.

Have you ever had a rib broken? The pain is beyond anything you could ever imagine. You can't move, you can barely breathe, the best you can do is to lie there and moan.

I nearly did it. I wanted to just lie down and whimper and give up. But I still had a job to do, and what I didn't do was to leave business unfinished.

My pain was genuine, there was no need to fake it. Ransom knew it too, and I felt rather than saw the subtle change in movements as he sized me up, ready to finish me off for good. In his mind, I was no longer a threat.

So when Ransom lashed out with another kick that probably would have taken off my head, he wasn't expecting me to grab his leg with both hands. Rather than trying to block the blow, I used its force against him and added a little twist. I had learned a little of the Chinese art of Tai-Chi, and admired its simple yet elegant way of using an enemy's strength against him. Ransom lost his balance and went crashing to the floor.

Fire shot through my chest, but I had no time to scream. In the next second I had grabbed his arm, bent it back behind his neck, and wrapped my other arm around his throat to lock him down completely.

Ransom roared and thrashed and flailed, but as long as I kept my head turned away his other arm could not reach my face. And with every movement he made he was wasting precious oxygen. Clinically I applied even more pressure until his eyes began to bulge, ignoring the agony in my ribs, silently thanking the scruffy marine who had refused to drink a beer with me one boring day in the officer's mess and offered to teach me how to apply this hold instead, which he called the Anaconda Vice.

Ransom fought like a trapped bear, but even as my eyes began to close from the pain and the exhaustion and stubbornly refused to slacken my grip. It was like trying to master a bucking bronco at the rodeo. You just hung on and prayed it would be over soon.

Slowly Ransom's struggles grew weaker and weaker, until he stopped moving entirely. Reasoning that if I let go even for a second he'd probably jump back to life and kill me, I refused to let up. But as much as I wanted to kill the bastard, I couldn't. If he died the knowledge of Garrus's whereabouts (and Jacob's and Thane's), would die with him.

I let go of the Vice and almost immediately slapped on a full nelson hold, then body scissored him with my legs for good measure. It wouldn't kill him, but it would keep him immobilized. Unfortunately that wasn't the end of my problems.

I had taken down Ransom, but there wasn't much else I could do. I was stuck on a shuttle to some godforsaken planet, with no resources nor weapons.

"_Kill him,_" whispered the voice again.

"No," I muttered out loud. I was sick of playing games. "No, I won't."

"_Ah,_" said the voice. It sounded almost pleased. "_Then it is time."_

"Time? For what?" I asked the empty air. But there was no answer. I closed my eyes in frustration. When I opened them again, I was in another world.

**Mindscape**

I was no longer lying on the floor of a tiny escape shuttle, with my arms and legs locked around a Cerberus official.

Instead I was lying on my back in a grassy meadow, the sun shining down on my face and the breeze ruffling my hair. The air smelled fresh, clean and pure, wonderfully unfamiliar after a lifetime of breathing canned air on spaceships. The sky arced over my head, brilliant blue without a single cloud. In the distance I could see the gently rolling slopes of hills and beyond them, the craggy outlines of mountains.

I knew this place. My brain sent up a little flare of memory. I recognised it, even after what seemed like centuries.

This was the idyllic land of Kashmir, bordering India and Pakistan back on Earth. After the two had settled their differences, the natural beauty of the Kashmir mountains were protected and reserved for a limited number of backpackers and campers per year. I had only been here once, as a young boy who couldn't have been older than ten. My mom and dad, during one of those incredibly rare occasions in which both of them were on leave, had brought me here on vacation. I had never forgotten it.

"I know you haven't," said a voice. I whipped my head around.

An asari stood a little distance away, clad in a skintight black bodysuit. She was taller than most members of the species, almost as tall as me. The set of her mouth was cruel, and her eyes were alive with the light of malice. This asari was no stranger.

"Morinth."

Morinth inclined her head in a mock bow. "So good of you to remember me, my host."

"What are you doing here?"

She came closer. "As strange as it seems, Shepard, I come to offer help."

"No," I said instantly. I stood up and backed away a little. "I don't trust you. Where am I? What's going on?"

Morinth chuckled. "That's understandable," she said. "As for the question of trust...well, I shall answer any question you may care to ask. Without obligation. After that, we shall see if you will still be so reluctant to trust me."

"Where are we?" I fired.

"Think about it Shepard," said Morinth. "You're not a stupid man. I should know."

"This is Kashmir," I said, mostly to myself. "I'd know it anywhere. But just as obviously, this can't be the real Kashmir. The last thing I remember is being in Ransom's shuttle. And you're here."

"It's not that difficult, Shepard."

"This must be my mind, my memory," I said slowly. "You created it. Which means I'm in my own subconscious."

"Trite, but accurate. To a certain degree."

"Which answers my next question. If this is my mind, you can't be real either. You're the imprint the real Morinth left behind. You're the one who's been stuck in my brain all this time."

"_Very _good, Shepard."

"I killed you."

"I know you did. I've seen the memory. And yet here I am."

"So here's my final question, Blue. What do you want?"

Morinth smiled pleasantly. "Sit down, Shepard."

"No."

"It'd be easier."

"I prefer to stand."

"Suit yourself." Morinth sat down and stretched luxuriantly, like a feline. As stupid as it sounds, I couldn't help but notice the way her bodysuit clung to her curves.

"Like I said earlier, I wish to help."

"Why?"

"Oh, there are so many reasons, some of which I don't feel like sharing with you at the present. But the most important one would have to be the fact that you're about to die."

"What are you talking about? I beat Ransom."

"In hand to hand combat, and just barely. I know. I was watching. In fact without my help you wouldn't have had a chance at all."

"What help?"

"Oh, a mere matter of removing a few inhibitors and encouraging the bloodlust already inherent within you. I'm not changing anything, Shepard. I'm helping you realise your true potential."

I felt my hands clench into fists. "Stop it. Stop doing it."

"The choice is not yours," Morinth replied gently, although that just made me madder than ever. Than I wondered if getting mad was part of her plan, and then a headache began to throb.

"Anyway yes, you're right. I have indeed been – shall we say – assisting here and there from time to time. Unobtrusively of course. But without me I fear you might not have survived your battles."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Of course you do, Shepard. The battle against the Reapers? Against Cerberus? The carnage you have wrought? Out of necessity, always. You can't be a good, clean, bloodless soldier and win. The soldiers with no blood on their hands lie in their coffins. The soldiers with no guilt in their hearts don't live to see medal ceremonies. I helped you. I fulfilled your potential for you. I saved your life."

"I don't believe that."

"Of course you don't. You have a tiresome commitment to morals and this ridiculous thing you term honour. Yet it's true all the same."

"Besides," Morinth continued, a sly smile on her face. "Without me you wouldn't have the chance to lie with your woman."

I felt my blood turn to ice in my veins. "Jack?"

"Ah, sweet Jack. So full of fire! I swear Shepard, at times its difficult not to be overwhelmed by the pleasure and gratification. But you didn't actually believe you fell in love of your own accord, did you?"

I lunged forward, trying to strangle her. But Morinth disappeared and reappeared a distance away. She look annoyed.

"You can't hurt me you idiot. This is your mind and I am in it. You might as well shoot a hologram."

"If I had a gun I'd try," I snarled.

"Why so touchy? Oh, right. You're afraid this 'pure love' of yours might not be so genuine after all."

I was vibrating with anger. I didn't trust myself to speak. Bit by bit, I reigned in my anger.

"So silly, even after all this time," Morinth sighed. "When will you learn to let go and embrace the real you?"

"When you get out of here," I said.

"Not for the forseeable future, I'm afraid. But I've erred. Antagonising you was not my intention."

"You're making a balls up of it then."

"Like I said, I want to help."

"Why in the name of hell would I want your help?"

"Think about it, Shepard. You might be lost in a memory right now, but your body is still in the Cerberus officer's shuttle. In a few minutes it will land and it will be surrounded by his people. If you kill him, they will kill you without hesitation, even if the Illusive Man wants you alive. They owe their loyalty to Ransom Foley, not to him. You've sustained a broken rib, which makes even moving and breathing difficult. In short, you are in absolutely no condition to fight back."

"There has to be a way."

"There is, and I'm giving it to you. Don't interrupt. As I was saying, you are in a world of hurt. But I can help you."

"How?"

"Let me block the pain you're feeling for a while. I can't shut it out completely, but I can dull it. And you have suffered worse."

"That's right."

"Just don't over exert yourself and get a crippling injury. Even if you don't feel the pain your body will still be breaking down. With the freedom to move, I trust you to be able to fight back. I can also remove what remains of your inhibitions. Let loose the dog of war, Shepard. Unleash your beast."

"How the hell can you do all this?" I snapped.

"Morinth and you shared a connection so deep it can never be erased," said Morinth. "I prowl the deepest, darkest areas of your mind. I know who you are in the dark. I can do all manner of things...but I prefer to be polite."

"And why do you want to help me?"

Morinth spread her arms in a gesture that plainly meant _What an idiot. _"You're going to die without my help. I've already died, but this existence is acceptable to me, at least for now. I do not wish to lose it as well. If you die then I am lost forever."

"And that would be tragic," I sneered.

"Undoubtedly so," said Morinth serenely. She appeared to be waiting for an answer.

"Yes to the first," I said slowly. "No to the second."

"But-"

"Shut up. I won't do it. I'm not going berserker. I need my wits about me if I want to escape this and survive. So if you can, blunt the pain from my rib and let me move around. I'll live, but I'll do it my way."

Morinth's lips curled in contempt. "As you wish," she said shortly.

"And this won't be the last time we meet," I said. "We still need to talk about Jack."

"Put it out of your head for now," said Morinth. "We don't want you getting distracted. Go on Shepard. Fight – and win."

In the blink of an eye, Kashmir was left behind me and I was back in Ransom's shuttle.

**Korugar**

I was still lying on the grimy floor. The smell of blood and sweat hit my nostrils, but the searing agony from my ribs had lessened to a dull ache. I took in a lungful of air and held it. I didn't feel anything, no sharp stab of pain. I could move again.

And if I could move, then I could fight.

The shuttle began to rattle and shake, characteristic of atmospheric entry. I pushed myself away from Ransom and crawled to a dark corner. I leaned my head against the wall and hoped it would be all over soon. I hadn't slept in days.

There was a terrific crash, which the shuttle's artificial gravity simulator (holy crap, the guy was rich) did little to arrest. Still it did prevent me from actually flying off the floor and smacking against the ceiling.

The doors to the shuttle were shoved open. Brilliant sunlight poured in, and I detected the sharp, arid taste of desert air. Heavily armed and armoured men entered the shuttle, all of them shouting. They paused upon seeing me and their boss, lying like a sack of meat on the floor.

"Yeah," I rasped. "I kicked his ass. Who else wants to dance?"

They were hesitant about approaching me, a fact which I deeply appreciated. But sooner or later their boss was going to wake up, and they knew that. So they slapped handcuffs on my wrists and restraints on my legs as well.

Once that was done, I was hauled unceremoniously through the dirt. Almost instinctively I catalogued information that might be useful later. Howling winds, harsh red desert landscape, blinding sun, nothing but desolate rock and what looked like mountains in the distance. I was clearly off planet, but which planet I had landed on, I had no idea.

Doing that let me take my mind off the occasional slap to the head from a guard for not hobbling fast enough. Ransom was carried behind me on a stretcher. He still hadn't woken up and despite my situation, that made me smile.

I walked for what felt like hours under a scorching sun before the guards reached what looked like a completely innocuous group of large rocks. Someone spoke a password and pressed an ungloved hand against the side of one rock, and to my complete non surprise a stretch of rock slid smoothly back to reveal a passageway going deeper into the ground.

"A hole in the dusty ground. Hell, Cerberus must be losing money faster than a volus at the Monte Carlo," I remarked. I was rewarded with a shot to the jaw, stopping short of knocking out a tooth but hard enough to let me know who was in charge. I didn't care.

As the guards dragged me inside down a long corridor in the stark white decor and brilliant lighting preferred by Cerberus, it occurred to me that they had not bothered to put a blindfold on me. Either they were stupid, or far more likely, they didn't intend me to leave this place alive.

I made a promise to myself to leave them disappointed.

We came to what looked like a cell, similar to the one used on Purgatory. Bare, cushioned surfaces with no edges anywhere to prevent suicide, clear glass door with a guard on watch at all times, not enough room to lie down and stretch out fully. They shoved me inside and I settled down to wait.

I passed the time appreciating being able to breathe. I also resisted making rude signs at the guard, as funny as it might have been I couldn't provoke these guys. They were professionals.

As it usually does when my mind begins to wander, I found myself thinking about Jack. More specifically, the implications of my little conversation with the ghost of a long dead adversary. Was she right? Did I choose to forget Ash and choose Jack instead simply because she was the kind of person that Morinth would have taken great pleasure from?

Morinth dictating my choices. Morinth controlling my life. Morinth wielding her influence from beyond the grave over my subconscious, even when I was asleep, whispering God knew what in my mind's ear. Molding me. Shaping me to become more like her. To share her view of the world.

It was a spine chilling thought. But I kept returning to Jack. And I had a lot of time to think.

What do people say when they're in love? 'He/she makes me happy. He/she makes me a better person.' I could honestly say yes to the first. But the second...probably not.

In the months since I've split up with Ash and turned down Miranda and fell in love with Jack I had become more violent, more irrational, far more rash in my thoughts and actions. I had transformed from being a soldier to becoming a warrior. That might not sound like a big deal, but I became a soldier because I saw it as my duty. I was a soldier because I wanted to protect others and serve humanity to the best of my ability. As a warrior, I lived for the fight.

I lived for the thrill of outwitting an enemy in battle, whether be it by ship or gun or bare hand to bare hand. I came alive in that exact moment when my enemy knew he was beaten, the spark of hope dying in their eyes. It was a rush unlike anything I had ever experienced.

Unlike anything I had ever experienced. In other words, at least before I met Morinth. That didn't sound good.

Ah hell, I'd figure it out later. I had spent more time lost in thought than I'd guessed. A couple of guards had arrived, heavily armed and armoured as per usual. I stood up and they hesitated a split second before opening the door of my cell. A bonus.

"Hey there," I said, by way of greeting. The guards didn't reply.

"I probably killed someone you know. I kill a lot of Cerberus mooks. Just so you know."

The guards had full face helmets on and I couldn't see their expressions, but from the way their bodies stiffened I knew I had gotten to them. The fact that I was alive meant that Ransom wanted something from me, and I knew the Illusive Man wanted me alive, so the guards wouldn't touch me.

"Do you have friends or family in Cerberus? I bet you do. I bet they're dead now. Wouldn't you love to just-"

SMASH

I dropped to my knees and instinctively brought my legs up to my chest, tucking my head in. The guard had used the butt of his rifle to smash me right in the mouth. I tasted blood and felt a couple of teeth come loose. I didn't even have the strength to spit them out. The pain dulled after a while (Morinth's work) but the blood dripping off my lip was a reminder of how bloody stupid I was.

One of the guards pulled down his visor and glared at me, his eyes burning with hate.

"Mr. Foley wants to talk to you," he confided. "He never said you had to be in one piece, and when we asked he said doesn't care either way. When he's done with you, you're going to die screaming."

He kicked me in the head. I tried to raise a hand to block it, but wasn't fast enough.

"You killed my wife, you son of a bitch. She was on the Thorian project. You probably don't even know who she is, but I swear, I'll make you say her name before you die," he said in a voice choked with anger.

They hauled me roughly to my feet and I was marching away once more. With every step I took my head, my chest, my mouth throbbed with pain that even Morinth couldn't eliminate fully. But that didn't matter. The pain was a reminder not to do things that served no purpose.

I was brought to a familiar looking office. I blinked twice before realising why. It was an exact replication of the office Ransom had back on Earth. Well, before Jack and Ash and I ripped it apart.

Ransom was there, looking like he had come from a fundraiser party. He might have gotten a change of clothes, but the open neck of his collared shirt displayed the bruise I gave him from the vice, something which I took a very small amount of pleasure from.

"Ah, Commander."

"Spectre."

"Do take a seat, Commander," said Foley, with a galaxy spanning grin on his face. And why shouldn't he grin? I was completely at his mercy, trapped in the palm of his hand.

I thought about throwing the chair at him for a moment, but I sat down instead. I was still wearing the white singlet I had on ever since Hyderabad. The stupid bastards hadn't give me anything else, and I shivered a little.

"Would you like a drink?"

"No."

"Suit yourself."

Ransom poured himself a glass of brandy. The good stuff, and for a supposed human supremacist I recognised the smell of asari liqueur. He took a long sip and smacked his lips.

"Beautiful," he pronounced, smacking his lips. He set the glass down and steepled his fingers. "Now then, on to business – nasty cut on your lip there, incidentally."

I didn't answer.

"Good work, Irwin," said Ransom, looking past me. Presumably the guard behind me smiled or something, because Ransom smiled back. He knew his guards by name, I realised. A boss who knew your name was less likely to get stabbed in the back. From what I had heard of Ransom, he could inspire fanatical loyalty in his followers.

That meant even if the Illusive Man wanted me alive and in one piece, the guards were going to look to Ransom for their orders. This was going to be harder than I thought.

I decided to go in head-on. "What's the deal Foley? I know Tim wants me alive. But your goon wants to kill me. Dissension within the ranks, eh? Cerberus fighting Cerberus?"

Ransom's smile, although it seemed impossible, grew even wider. Any wider and the man would have fallen in.

"Clever, Shepard. You were always clever, even in that meathead factory you call an Academy."

"Been checking up on me?"

"There is nothing about you I don't have access to. I know your high school grades, your medical records, your first girlfriend-"

"Gina Torres?"

Ransom looked momentarily off-kilter. He glanced at a file on his desk.

"Not Morena Baccarin?"

"No you idiot, Morena was in sixth grade, on Luna Base. Gina and I were king and queen of Teddy Roosevelt Elementary's fourth grade for one glorious summer. We ate a lot of cotton candy."

Ransom looked annoyed, then his features smoothed out as he relegated the piece of information he did not want to hear to a mental trashcan. Something like a grin began to lift the corners of my mouth.

"Enough of this. Tell me what you know. Now!"

"Okay," I said. "The plastic tips on the ends of your shoelaces are called aglets. Their true purpose is sinister."

One of the guards smacked his heavy glove across my face at Ransom's signal, but this hit I took gladly. It was worth it.

"I'm getting tired of this."

"So am I."

Ransom stood up and walked over to me. He looked me up and down, as if sizing me up for the meat market. I could have grabbed him and choked him out again, but the twenty plus guards or so who had their gunsights trained on my skull made me reconsider.

"Why you?" he asked finally.

"What?"

"Why would he choose you?"

I stared back at Foley. I had no idea what he was talking about.

"You're smart – but I'm smarter. You can fight – but so can I. You have a ridiculous commitment to your own selfish principles. You consort with aliens, you have zero understanding of what it means to be a representative of humanity. Why you? What makes you so special?"

Ransom was no longer smiling. I however, was beginning to do so. For the first time in what felt like ages, something clicked into place.

"I can dance a little and know all the words to 'Mack the Knife'," I said cheerily. "That has to be it."

Ransom raised a hand, and the guard stepped forward to strike me once more.

"After all, it couldn't possibly be because of the fact that the Illusive Man thinks I'm a much better defender of humanity than you, could it?"

A muscle worked in Ransom's cheek and I knew that I had hit a home run. This was the reason for the hatred, for the disregard of the Illusive Man's orders."

I was hit again, but that didn't stop me from talking. "I feel bad for you man. I mean, like you said, I consort with aliens and can be a pain in the ass. I can shoot and blow things up, but nothing special that can't be done by others. I hate your organisation and everything you sad fucks stand for. Yet he chose to spend four billion credits stitching _me_ back up, piece by bloody piece, every last neuron in place, rather than let you take on the task of defeating the Collectors. Ouch."

Ransom was shaking with fury. His eyes were bulging, and a vein was throbbing in his forehead. He looked about three seconds away from going into a total breakdown. To see the man who seemed so self-possessed and calm lose control like this was a little awe-inspiring. I felt like the guy who notices the rattle of the ship engine just before it explodes (that happened once). The same sense of foreboding and dread.

"You will take years to die," he whispered finally. "You will never see the light of day again."

"That's great, I don't tan well."

Ransom roared and aimed a kick at my head, which I ducked. He was about to beat the living shit out of me, before pausing. I could almost hear the tremendous crunch of the mental gears as he struggled not to give in to his rage. In such close quarters I could slap another submission hold on him and the guards wouldn't risk a shot. My taunts had almost worked...but not quite.

"Get him out of here!" screamed Ransom, and away I went.

**Cerberus Cell Block**

I spent a long time in that cell. If their ploy was to starve me into submission, it was slowly but surely working. Every so often they'd give me a few drops of water and a handful of something that looked like fish guts. I'd eaten worse in basic training, so I sucked it down anyway. But I knew I was wasting away. I could feel the way my cheeks were hollow and ribs were beginning to become visible under my skin.

I always had a guard outside, so I couldn't even jerk off in peace even if I had the slightest inclination. I passed the time by thinking about Jack. It amused me to construct scenarios in which we were happily married. She could wear a bright yellow sundress and cook a Sunday roast while I sat in an armchair smoking a pipe and reading a paper as our two kids played with the pet dog out in the garden. It was at this point I suspected that I might have been delirious.

I began to sleep for longer and longer periods of time, waking up only to swallow some water and shit in the bucket Cerberus gave me. Otherwise, I felt as weak and lethargic as a crippled kitten.

One day I was shaken awake by a guard, who had brought me my fish guts in brine in a small bowl. I unstuck my eyes and struggled to sit up.

He placed the bowl beside me and watched as I dug in. Usually the guards would leave the cell after flinging the bowl at me, but this one stayed and loomed over me as I squished the guts between my teeth. A warning bell began to faintly ring at the back of my head.

"Had enough?" said the guard. Now I looked up. None of the other guards had said so much as a word to me.

Before I could reply the guard pulled down his visor.

"Remember me, you asshole?" he hissed.

"Yeah, I do," I said honestly. "You're that guy with the camp name. Irving."

"My name is Irwin Sneijder," he said. "My wife's name was Deborah. You killed her. You will say her name before you die."

"You can't kill me, Ransom wants to do that himself."

"Mr. Foley isn't here right now," said the guard. "He wants to kill you. He can't, not while I'm still alive. I need to kill you. For Deborah." He began to advance towards me.

This was it. My chance. But my body failed me, as it had done before. In this state I simply couldn't fight and overpower anyone, even if it was just a single guard.

_Leave that to me, _someone whispered in my ear. And then miraculously, I felt strength flowing back to my arms and legs. My thoughts cleared, and my senses grew sharper. I felt more alive than ever.

_Temporary. A matter of adjusting the endorphin output. But necessary. Fight and live._

"Whatever," I muttered.

"What was that?" asked Irwin. He bent down and I struck.

My hand, which has been lying lifeless on the floor, blurred as it cracked towards the guard's face. A soft squelch and a howl of agony told me that it had worked. I had jabbed a thumb into his eye and I pushed in further. The eyeball popped with a wet splat and I rolled out of the way to avoid his wild punch. He had dropped his gun and I snatched it up.

I kicked him against the wall and pressed the trigger against his forehead. "I probably killed your wife. But I only kill people who are trying to kill me. She deserved what she got, and she should have picked another line of work. I'm not sorry for that and I won't be sorry for this."

I pulled the trigger and cut short his scream of rage. Bits of brain and blood splattered the wall and he slumped down. Something occurred to me as I dipped my finger in the pool of blood and tore off Irwin's uniform. The security cameras were recording this and I had no doubt a million Cerberus guards were on their way at that moment, but you had to enjoy the little things in life.

Using his blood, I wrote a message on the chest of the dead, embittered guard. Then I fled.

**Cerberus Security Station**

"The bastard killed Sneijder! Send a team down there now!"

"Do we tell Foley?"

"You tell Foley if you want to. Me, I'm going after him. If he comes back and finds out Shepard's gone he'll burn all of us alive."

"What the fuck is that? What the fuck is he _doing_?"

"Is that blood?"

"Oh God I think I'm going to be sick."

"Wait he's moving off..."

"What does it say?"

"'Now I have a (sub)machine gun. Ho-ho-ho.'"

"What the _fuck_?"

"I don't know, alright? The crazy bastard's loose!


	25. Closure

This is the fic that will not die! Thank you to everyone who's still interested in reading, and who e-mailed me to inquire on its progress. It's because of you I keep writing. The next update will come very soon.

**Chapter 25 - Closure**

**The Normandy**

Kasumi tilted her head upwards, revelling in the hot water splashing on her face and running down her body. She couldn't remember the last time she had a good shower and fully intended to enjoy this one.

After Ash Williams had saved her and Jack from Hyderabad State Security, she had walked into the nearest five star hotel and booked a room. Kasumi would have just been happy to wait on a park bench or something, but she was never one to turn down a free meal or a hot bath. Especially a hot bath.

Kasumi didn't know quite what to make of the intense Alliance agent. She had heard the stories, of course. Nearly everyone had after the Citadel attack. Shep and her had been the most famous human couple in the entire galaxy. And then things had happened and they had split up...and Kasumi wasn't sure if it was for the better.

She actually liked Jack, insofar as anyone could like Jack, but the captain was different around her. Jacob had mentioned it a number of times, and he did seem more reckless and willing to take risks when she was around. Or was she just imagining things? She could never quite decide.

Either way, there was going to be a reckoning. Jack and Ash created tension in the air so thick she could taste it. If this was a bar, she would have found a safe spot to hide behind when the glass started flying. And in the confusion, she would have pocketed all the money in the cash register too.

Someone pounded on the frosted glass door, making her jump.

"You've been in there forever! It's my turn!" yelled Jack from outside.

"Go away! I'm not done!"

"You get out in five seconds or I'm busting my way in!"

"Do your worst!" retorted Kasumi. She lathered more conditioner into her hair, taking no further notice of the dark shadow outside.

There was a moment of silence, then the door lifted itself off its hinges and smashed into a hundred pieces on the floor.

"Jack! What the hell?"

"Quit hogging the hot water!"

"Don't come in here – I said don't – argh!"

Ashley Williams opened the door of the hotel room, carrying cups of coffee.

"Hey guys here's the caffeine fix you asked for – oh, Lord."

"What do you need a shower for? You don't even have hair!"

"I'll rip your head off and then you won't have any either!"

Ash let them smack each other around a bit before pulling them apart.

"Alright, that's enough! The new Normandy will be here any minute to pick us up."

Kasumi grabbed a towel and wrapped it around herself, muttering curses around her breath. Unabashed, Jack turned on the faucet and stepped under the spray. Ash deliberately turned her back and sat down on the bed.

"You don't have to keep calling it the new Normandy, you know," said Kasumi. "It's just the Normandy."

"I saw that Normandy die. The one you know is an imitation. Made with evil Cerberus technology."

"Oh, EDI's not evil at all – uh, I mean the seats are comfortable..."

But Ash had been an intelligence agent too long to let that slip pass by.

"What was that?"

Kasumi knew that if she said 'nothing', Ash would know immediately what it was.

"I said EDI isn't evil," she said smoothly.

"Why would she be, she's a V.I., right?"

"Yeah, you'd expect Cerberus to give us an evil VI or even a rogue AI, but she works just fine."

Ash let it go, and sipped some coffee. There would be plenty of time later to grill Shepard on the ship's computer.

Shepard. He was out there somewhere, at the mercy of one of the deadliest men in the universe. Well out of loyalty she supposed that Shepard was _the _deadliest man in the universe, but Ransom Foley ran a close second.

Still, he was in danger. She wanted to find him with every fibre of her being, to the point where even sitting still felt intolerable. But until she got back with the crew of the Normandy there was nothing she could do.

Ash glanced over at Kasumi, who was using a second towel to dry her hair in front of the mirror.

"Kasumi?"

"Yes?"

"You and Jacob are a couple right?"

"Miss Williams, you're not exactly the first person in the world I would discuss relationships with."

Ash sighed. "Fine, I understand. I just wanted to know how you can be so...calm. Jacob's been taken too. Aren't you worried?"

Kasumi shrugged. "A little. But I know Jacob. He's a survivor. He'll do what it takes to make it out from wherever he is safe and sound, and come back to me."

"But how can you know that?"

"I just do."

Ash didn't know what to say to that, so she drank some more coffee.

"I heard that, Alliance broad," called a voice from the bathroom.

"No one asked you."

"I'm telling you anyway. Whatever Jake can do, Jack can do ten times better. So don't worry your pretty little head about it. Jack will be alright, because I'll kill him if he's not and he knows it."

"That sounds logical," drawled Ash, her voice laced with sarcasm.

"And shut up."

Kasumi was about to say something when there was an thunderous crash at the front door. A split second later the entire door was blown off its hinges and slammed onto the floor.

A small round object was tossed into the room. Acting faster than Ash thought possible, Kasumi kicked it away so hard it crashed through the sliding glass panel window and over the balcony. It then exploded in a blinding flash of light.

Ash had dived over the side of the bed, instinctively going for cover in the face of danger. She wasn't wearing any armour and had just one sidearm, which she whipped out and started firing back. The invaders were staying hidden though, and her shots merely punched holes in the corridor wall outside.

But although Ash's returning shots missed their mark, they bought Kasumi just enough time to dash over to the corner of the room where she had dumped her gear and snatch up her stealth field generator. In the blink of an eye, she vanished from sight leaving nothing but a ripple in the air.

The men poured into the room, clad in the black body armour and full face helmets beloved of Cerberus security. Hyderabad police officers didn't even carry guns, but strangely the Cerberus thugs didn't appear to be carrying heavy duty weaponry either. One of them fired his long, thin rifle at Ash, who was peeking over the top of the bed. She ducked quickly, and felt the breeze from a tranquilizer flechette as it smashed against the glass window and broke apart, oozing an evil black liquid.

If they weren't shooting to kill, then Cerberus wanted them taken prisoner. Ash grimly resolved to choose death before that happened. She raised her sidearm and fired off a few more indiscriminate shots, which served to make the Cerberus guys hesitate. But her gun was heating up fearfully fast and she would need to snap in a quick heat sink soon.

Crouching unnoticed in the far corner of the room, Kasumi bit her lip to keep from swearing out loud as one of Ash's shots zinged around far too close to her for comfort. She was invisible, but she was also naked and dripping wet and it wouldn't take long for one of the Cerberus mercs to glance her way and spot the suspicious puddle of water on the floor growing larger by the minute. She couldn't fight back either, the instant she dropped one guy the rest would open fire on her. She ground her teeth in frustration, mind racing for any way out of the mess.

Then Jack stepped out from the bathroom, naked as the day she was born from her own shower. Her heavily inked, whip-thin body was completely enveloped in a shimmering blue biotic shield, and her eyes were blazing.

She flicked a hand and the Cerberus mercs were bowled over by an unseen hammerblow that felt like a freight train had roared through their mist. While they were dazed Jack appeared to concentrate harder, her brow wrinkling with the effort. Then with a shout of triumph every release catch on the helmets of the Cerberus mercs was pressed at once, and they fell off onto the floor. With another sweep of her arm the mercs flew straight upward head-first into the ceiling with a sickening crunch. Kasumi winced as she saw bits of plaster break off, and the mercs dropped to the floor where they flopped like rag dolls.

Then Jack's shield shimmered and faded a little, and she massaged her temples, wincing slightly. The effort had to have taken a lot out of her. Kasumi rushed over to her side and held her up.

Jack tried to drag her arm away. "What the hell -"

"It's me," Kasumi hissed. "I'm stealthed. All you ok?"

"I'll be fine," Jack said curtly.

Ash had popped in a fresh clip and leaped over the bed, poking her head cautiously around the door. "We need to leave. Now."

"The Normandy?"

"Still on its way. But these guys can't have been all that were sent. There'll be more."

"Bring it on!"

"No time for this. Move. Now! I'll cover you."

Jack shot her a glare but she ran out of the room, with Kasumi right behind her. Ash snatched up another gun from a fallen merc and hurtled along right after them.

"Which way?"

"Stairs."

Kasumi raced along the wood-panelled corridor, feeling her bare feet sink into the delightfully soft and thick carpet with each step. She reached a door and leaned on the bar, swinging it open.

"Come on!"

A distant noise from below made Kasumi pause. The unmistakeable sound of men in armour hurrying up the stairs floated up towards her.

"Down's no good!"

"Goddamnit," muttered Ash. What wouldn't she give for just one grenade. "To the roof then. Hurry!"

Jack took the lead, not running but hovering through the air, supported by her biotics. Kasumi and Ash followed behind. It was a good twenty stories to the top and even with all her training Ash was more than slightly winded when she reached the top step. Kasumi, whose job made her a natural sprinter but no marathoner, was practically on her hands and knees, panting heavily.

"Come on," muttered Jack, and gave her a little biotic push. Kasumi yelped and leapt up the last few stairs.

Ash threw the heavy door open and walked out into the blazing hot sunshine of a typical Hyderabad afternoon. Kasumi hissed as her bare feet touched the hot concrete and glanced enviously at Jack, who was floating just a few inches above it. Ash shut the door, slammed the bolts shut and waved an arm at Jack.

"I'll need some help here."

Jack concentrated, and a solid wall of blue biotic energy appeared directly in front of the door.

"That won't hold them forever."

"I know. I'm getting a message out to the Normandy as fast as possible," said Ash, tapping on her communicator.

"Did you grab any weapons?" Jack asked Kasumi.

"No, just my stealth generator."

"Damnit."

A look of discomfort stole over Jack's face and she turned away from Kasumi. Privately, she pondered that Jack didn't appear uncomfortable about her own nudity (even her regular outfit was barely more than a few strips of leather) but she was discomfited by the sight of other people's nudity. Kasumi flicked on her generator and disappeared from sight, figuring that Jack needed all the help she could get if the three of them were going to survive this.

Besides, she had a way better body than Jack's.

A little way away, Ash was snarling at her communicator. "This is an emergency, repeat, an emergency. We are stranded on the roof of the Mughal hotel with Cerberus mercs on their way to kill us. Get me the Normandy here now! Right now!"

A thud at the door made her look up. The door rattled again, sending dust flying.

Ash swore and levelled her gun at the door. "Anyone else want one?" she called.

"I'm good!" replied Kasumi. She was hovering near the edge of the roof, a hazy plan forming in her mind. "Jack, when those mercs bust through send them flying my way, ok?"

"Sure," said Jack, a little puzzled.

The door was hit again, and the bolts broke off their hinges. A merc rushed out, and smacked hard into the biotic barrier, which sent him back down the stairs.

Beads of sweat ran down Jack's neck as she focused on maintaining the barrier. As long as the mercs didn't get through, they were safe. As Jack and Kasumi watched, her personal shield disappeared and she dropped back down to the ground in order to exert her full strength on the barrier.

More men appeared in the doorway. Taking aim at the barrier, they opened fire.

The full shock of it crashed into Jack's mind like a physical punch. She staggered backwards slightly, and Kasumi was about to rush over to help her. But Jack straightened up, and the fading biotic barrier reknitted itself once more.

Ash hovered nearby, not daring to say anything. If Jack could hold out for just a few minutes more...

The Cerberus mercs kept up their sustained fire, heat clips falling away from their weapons every few minutes. A hailstorm of bolts was poured into the barrier, which was breaking down and reconstituting itself as fast as Jack could manage. Jack winced with each shot, her hands trembling with the effort.

"I can't keep this up for long, Alliance."

"Jack," said Ash tersely. "I need you to do what I say."

"Like hell."

"If you don't we'll all die."

"...fine."

"When I say, drop the barrier and use it to knock 'em down. Then get behind me quick as you can."

Jack didn't have the energy to come up with a snappy comment. She just grunted.

"Okay...okay..."

Kasumi watched from the edge of the roof, her heart in her mouth.

"Now!"

The mercs were reloading their weapons and there was a temporary lull in the fire. In that instant Jack struck. The barrier disappeared and the mercs were hurled backwards. Jack tumbled behind Ash, exhausted beyond mesaure.

Ash opened fire, the sharp reports from her dual-wielded pistols echoing into the air. She aimed for the vulnerable spots in the armour of the Cerberus mercs, the place where the helmet met the neck, under the arm, and the front visor. Normally their shields would have taken care of those, but they were shorted out by the impact of Jack's biotic attack. Men died and Ash kept firing, her mouth a firm hard line, a look of dissonant cool concentration on her face. She didn't look out-of-her-mind furious, like Jack did during a firefight. She looked merely preoccupied, like someone filling out a tax form.

It scared the hell out of Kasumi.

Jack was on her hands and knees now, gulping down lungfuls of air. She didn't remember ever having been this tired, even when she was battling her way through the Collector base. What the hell was wrong with her?

She blinked and gasped, wiping her forehead with the back of her hand. She hadn't had a proper rest or a meal in days, but most of all she missed Shepard. It always came down to Shepard. With Jack Shepard around she could do more than she ever thought she could. She wanted to leap up on his back, clasp her arms around his neck and bury her face in his hair, feeling the his way his long rolling laughs would rock both his body and hers. Shepard always laughed loud and long whenever he felt like it. For Jack, this was something she was getting used to. But she liked it.

If she wanted to hear Jack laugh again, she needed to stay alive. And like it or not (not), she was going to have to obey orders from the Alliance broad.

The bitch was annoying as hell...but she kept her cool in a crisis. She knew what to do when the metal started flying. She was one of the few who could actually think in the middle of a fight, not just react and go by instinct like Jack had always done. In all she had seen and done, only Shepard managed to do the same. Maybe there was more to the Alliance than she would readily admit.

Jack stood up. Ash's guns were on the point of overheating and she would need backup soon. Ash cursed and dropped one gun, shaking her fingers.

Jack stretched her arms out and pulled it back towards herself. A second later the first few mercs were yanked into the sky and flew over her head, landing near the edge of the roof.

A merc got to his feet, clutching his rifle for support. To hell with his orders, he was going to blow that Alliance agent's head off her bloody neck.

Something grabbed him from behind. Before he could cry out he was dragged to the edge of the roof. Ninety stories separated him from the ground below. At this height the trees looked like little green blobs.

"Oh no. No, no!"

Something unseen kicked him hard square in the back. The last thing he heard before plunging off the roof was a low female voice that hissed "Yes."

A few yards away, Jack saw what happened and allowed herself a smile. "Not bad."

"Jack! Duck!"

She didn't think, just flung herself flat onto the floor. Her bare skin sizzled on the hot concrete like an egg on a grill, and despite herself she yelled out in pain. But the rifle shots from the Cerberus mercs flashed over her head.

Ash dropped to one knee and sent two shots directly into the throat of the merc who had fired at Jack. In the next moment she pistoned her legs and flung herself sideways, avoiding the return shot.

They had done all they could, but more Cerberus mercs were going to arrive, and the three of them against a merc horde were not good odds. Ash risked a glance at the sky. Where the hell was the Normandy?

Kasumi grabbed another merc's arm and tossed him off the building. She couldn't help feeling a stab of guilt as his screams echoed all the way down the ninety floors below. She was fighting for her life and that of her...friends...but she still recoiled from the idea of taking a life. She would happily admit to being a thief who frequently lied, swindled, conned and stole everything that wasn't nailed down, but she hated fighting and she hated killing. It went against every fibre of her being to do anything that called attention to herself, and killing was pretty much at the top of the list.

But she was a realist as well as a thief. As long as her stealth generator held up, she was going to kick Cerberus mercs off one of the tallest buildings in all of India.

Jack was lashing out with short range bolts of force, but with each merc she swept away another stepped up to take his place. Without her clothes and other gear she was reliant on only her personal biotic shield for protection, and each shot that she didn't manage to dodge took a little out of her. She was being worn down, slowly but surely.

As Jack crushed the helmet of another merc, cracking his skull and making the blood drip from beneath his visor, she swore that she would die than be taken by Cerberus once more. She wanted to be with Shepard, she wanted to be with him so badly she would tear ships out of the sky and level buildings to see him again. But being a prisoner of Cerberus again was the one price she would not pay.

Ash flung away her second gun and leaped at the nearest merc, jacked up his arms behind his back in a half-nelson hold and pressed his own gun to his temple.

"Back off or he's dead!" she yelled.

Amazingly, they held their fire and looked at each other. The merc squirmed in her grasp but Ash jacked his arm up a little higher, close to breaking point and he stopped struggling, his face turning a dull grey.

"Put your weapons down!"

One of the mercs, a sergeant by the look of his armour, stepped forward and raised his rifle.

"You get one chance. Let him go, lie on the floor and put your hands on your head."

"Then this guy dies."

"We don't care. You get one chance."

Ash clenched her teeth, looking at the wall of black around her, slowly advancing. For the first time in her life, she couldn't think of a way out. Jack was down as well, her personal shield shorted out and with thirty rifle barrels aimed directly at her forehead. Kasumi was nowhere in sight.

There was a time when her first instinct had always been to shoot first, don't even bother about asking questions later, and to hell with the consequences. She had back-up then, the guy who always seemed to know what to do in just about any given situation. Then he was ripped from her and she became a leader herself, and she found out that Shepard never had omniscience, he never knew in advance how it all turned out. He just went in, and told his friends to do the same, and hoped with all his heart it would turn out all right, and somehow it did. After a while she had gotten the hang of it, and enjoyed the pleasure that came with true leadership.

But it looked like her luck had run out. For the first time in a long while, Ash felt the touch of true despair. She had messed up spectacularly. She should have stayed low and under cover, linked up with the few Alliance agents still in the area. She didn't expect that Cerberus would make an attack so public in broad daylight and she was going to pay the price. Not only her, Shepard too. Without the data Kasumi possessed, there was no way the Alliance would know where Ransom Foley had taken Shepard. Ash's shoulders dropped, her grip on the merc slackened a little. She was as good as dead, what did it matter?

Then she noticed something. It would have been inconsequential to anyone else, but Ash had spent countless times straining her entire body to catch a single hint of it. She marvelled at how well the new mimicked the old. Then she knew what she had to do.

"Let's talk."

"I'm not ordered to talk to you. I was ordered to bring you in."

"We can make a deal here. The Alliance has resources you can't imagine."

Jack's eyes widened at Ash's words. "You can't be serious," she choked. "Jack...we gotta save Jack."

Ash ignored her. "Take the smarter option. Let's talk."

"More than my life's worth to negotiate with you."

"We can help you. Protect you. Reward you so you'd never have to work again. Just let me go. You can have this one, she's more important to your boss, isn't she?"

The barrel of the merc sergeant dipped, ever so slightly. "I'm listening."

"Fuck you, Alliance," snarled Jack. But to those who knew her (and that list could be written down on a very small piece of paper) there was a ghost of a knowing smile on her face.

She had heard it too.

Over near the roof ledge Kasumi crouched, not even daring to breathe loudly lest the rest of the mercs hear her. She couldn't hear what Ash was saying, but soon it didn't matter.

The air traffic in Hyderabad was tremendously busy, but as neat and ordered as you would expect the traffic in a major Earth city to be like. The shining lines stretched out and threaded through the buildings in glittering lines that never stopped flowing. It was highly unusual for even one vehicle to deviate from its path. But as Kasumi watched, there was one now. A shiny white speck, growing larger.

Ash continued to stall, but the roaring of the wind told her what she had been hoping for. The last words the Cerberus merc heard before the engine throttle drowned out all other sound was "Surrender now and we'll let you live."

**Shift**

"There they are, EDI!"

"Miss Williams appears to be in a hostage standoff situation. What are your recommendations?"

"Kill the engines, switch on the antigrav and fire up the vocal communicator, we haven't used that in a while."

"As you wish."

The Normandy came to a gentle halt, hovering above the roof of the Mughal hotel. Joker held the mic to his lips and announced in a deep and impressive voice.

"Every man there go back inside, or we will blow a crater in this little building."

**Shift**

"How 'bout it?" asked Ash lightly.

"You bitch. You insufferable bitch," breathed the merc sergeant.

"I've heard that before."

The merc shifted his grip on his rifle. "They won't risk blowing you up as well. I'm taking you with me!"

But Ash had already seen the look in his eye and gauged it correctly. In one movement she pushed away the merc she was holding and sent him sprawling. In the other she flipped backwards, heads over heels, as far away from the sergeant as possible.

He swung his rifle around to bear down on her, but it was as far as he got. A thin beam of light lanced from one of the Normandy's smaller gun batteries. It hit the merc, who glowed and then flashed into a crumbling pile of dust. Another one hit a merc who had her boot on Jack's neck, leaving her similarly disintegrated.

Ash felt like cheering. She hadn't seen marksmanship that impressive since she left the Alliance.

**Normandy**

"God damn!" exulted Joker in delight. "Garrus couldn't have hit that better!"

Down near the weapons stations, Grunt re-aimed the gun batteries and grinned, crocodile-like, to himself.

**Shift**

The mercs dropped their weapons and lay flat on the ground, taking care to lie very, very still. Joker opened an access hatch and crewmen leaped down from the roof of the hotel, taking their weapons and helping Ash, Jack and Kasumi back into the ship.

Joker craned his neck around as they stepped on the bridge.

"Hi guys, it's great to see you again – whoa momma!"

Kasumi dashed off, while Jack advanced on Joker, one hand raised.

"What was that, pilot boy?"

"Nothing, nothing!" babbled Joker, desperately trying to look elsewhere, anywhere but Jack's naked body. "Nothing at all!"

"Good," said Jack. "Now I'm gonna finish that shower." She stomped off in the direction of the crewdeck.

Ash gave Joker a tired smile. "Hi Joker."

"Chief, great to see you're in one piece. Although you seemed to be fully clothed."

"Yeah well, thanks." Ash was about to move off too, when she literally smacked her forehead. "The data. Our clothes. Our gear. They're still in the hotel room. Cerberus might have taken it."

Joker punched a few buttons. "I think I can remedy that."

The Normandy drifted backwards a little bit, until it was facing the side where Ash's room was located.

"That one?"

"That one."

Joker opened communications. "Grunt, you there?"

"What do you want?"

Joker gave him the coordinates. A second later a large chunk of the Mughal hotel's outer wall flamed brightly, then simply melted away. Ash's room was completely exposed to the outside elements.

Kasumi reappeared on the bridge, wearing her spare catsuit. "Is that the hotel room? Oh good. I have a few things I need to collect."

She went over to the escape hatch. Ash watched, open-mouthed, as she literally jumped from it, flipped in mid-air and rolled into the room, picked up all the stuff they left behind, and jumped back.

"Got it. Let's go!"

As the Normandy roared away, Ash looked at the all important datapads that contained everything Kasumi had stolen from Cerberus as well as the Hyderabad State Security databanks.

"Lucky we got them back."

"Lucky nothing. I uploaded everything to the Normandy's neural network the second I got it."

"Then why did you tear down that wall – get back our stuff -"

"My stuff's my stuff! I won't leave it lying around. And the data, well, it's always good to have back-ups."

"Can't argue with that," Ash said weakly. She felt like lying down and going to sleep for a year. But she couldn't. Not while the most important asset the Alliance and the Council had was still lost somewhere in uncharted space.

"Joker?"

"Yeah chief?"

"Please tell Miss Lawson to call a general meeting in the briefing room. I need to give a report and sketch a picture of where we're going next."

"Aye aye, chief."

Ash thanked him and headed in the direction of the nearest bathroom. Before going up against Miranda she'd need at least a week's sleep, vacation time in the Bahamas and some really good coffee, but she'd settle for splashing some water on her face.

**Shift**

Ash sat alone in the briefing room, with nothing to keep her company but her thoughts. She didn't sit at the head of the table. This wasn't her ship, and it wasn't her turf. No matter how friendly she got with some of the people on board, she was no longer a part of the Normandy. For now, at least.

Miranda walked in first, precisely on time as was her habit. She settled herself at the head of the table, unconsciously assuming command now that Shepard wasn't here. She gave Ash a nod, enough to be polite, stiff enough to demonstrate that things weren't exactly chummy between them.

It rankled her, but she'd taken worse. Ash was just glad of cooperation for the time being. For all of Alliance Intelligence's resources, she knew the crew of the Normandy, depleted though it was, was the best bet of finding its captain again.

Ash discreetly observed the ship's second in command. Miranda didn't look her usual sleek and elegant self, her eyes were slightly bloodshot and there were tiny wrinkles near the corners. She wondered what could have happened, and filed it away for future inquiry.

Tali entered, a big smile beneath her mask as she saw her friend. Although Ash hadn't taken to the quarian at first, she had proven herself both resourceful and courageous. Ash found herself missing her sometimes, usually when mechanical gizmos on her own ships or bases started to break down.

Grunt was next, all white armor and hardplate that could deflect anything short of a rocket. He took a seat and leered openly at her. Ash didn't bother looking in his direction. In her opinion the krogan was a dangerous individual, like all krogan were, and she wondered not for the first time why Shepard had brought him on board.

Joker came hobbling in, and sat down next to Grunt. Ash knew the wisecracking pilot was made of sterner stuff than he seemed, but his defection to Cerberus seriously bothered her. Maybe she would have a few words with him once this was over. Behind him was Mordin, the strange Salarian doctor on whom Alliance Intelligence had absolutely nothing. Salarian intelligence made humanity's best efforts look like kids stumbling in the dark.

More people filed in, filling up the space. Kasumi slinked in and took the last seat. Jack was the last to arrive, and she looked like she was spoiling for a fight. She had put on some clothes, a tight black top and long Alliance-issue pants, probably stolen, along with her usual combat boots. She leaned against a wall and looked straight at Ash, eyes steady, never wavering.

The whole room was looking expectantly at her. Ash steeled herself and stood up.

"Here's the situation," she began, straight and to the point. "We have lost several key people. We have lost Garrus Vakarian, Jacob Taylor and Thane Krios. And because of my insistence on negotiating with the terrorist Ransom Foley, we have lost Com...Captain Shepard as well. It was my fault. I take the blame, and I apologise."

Ash saw Miranda's eyebrows lift, Joker's eyes widen, Kasumi leaning back in her chair, Jack crossing her arms and shifting her legs. They weren't expecting that. She plunged on.

"It goes without saying that we need them back, especially Shepard. It looks bad. But all's not lost. We didn't lose Kasumi. And Kasumi didn't lose her head. Even though she was taken by local law enforcement, she managed to retrieve both the documentation we need to bring Ransom down legally, as well as information on where he might have taken his prisoners. Thank you, Kasumi."

The thief looked a little uncomfortable at receiving such public praise. "Yeah well, that was the job. Shep owes me big."

"We all do," said Kelly Chambers, smiling at her.

"Might have?" asked Miranda, homing in on the vulnerable spot, the way she was trained to do.

"I'm not assuming anything."

"We don't have time to check out random planets across the galaxy, Agent. Shepard could be in mortal danger as we speak."

"I know that, Lieutenant," said Ash, a bit of an edge creeping into her voice. "From a cursory reading of the info Kasumi obtained, it suggests a location for Ransom's most heavily fortified base, as well as a couple of other smaller ones. My gut feeling is that Shepard's held in the bigger base."

"Your gut feeling nearly got us all killed." Jack. Of course.

"You can look at the data for yourself. Sombra Corp has been constructing a huge underground base on Tessalon, a desert planet. Records of shipments, construction manifestos, weapons delivery, everything from several years back. Shepard has to be there."

"He will be heavily guarded," said Mordin, speaking for the first time. "From experience, Cerberus bases possess both ground and off-planet defenses. Lethal to small craft. Example, ours. Cerberus defenses could hold off a small fleet. There is no way of slipping in undetected."

"Yes Doctor, I don't think the Normandy can do this alone."

"And what are you proposing we do about it?" asked Miranda.

"Like I told them," said Ash, looking at Jack and Kasumi, "I called for backup."

"Alliance backup?"

"Yes. I will - "

"The Alliance will not get involved in this, you know that," said Miranda, cutting her off. "Shepard's name is mud as it is."

"I know that," said Ash again, biting back a retort. "But I suspect it won't matter to this individual. Her name is Hannah Shepard."

"His mother?"

"Yes."

"What can she do?"

"With her dreadnought? What can't she do?"

Miranda leaned back, a look of satisfaction on her face. "You know what Agent? I like this plan."

"Thank you."

"Captain Shepard wanted to return to local space to meet us immediately. I think we can agree that it would cause unnecessary alarm and suspicion among the Earth governments if one of their capital ships returned to local space unannounced. I have the coordinates of the Orizaba, we will rendezvous with it as soon as possible. If there are no questions, this meeting is over. Another briefing will be scheduled when we make contact with Captain Shepard."

One by one the Normandy's crew left the briefing room, leaving Ash alone once again.

**Shift**

Ash trudged into her quarters, suppressing a yawn. She had been given a whole room to herself, a luxury with space a premium on the ship. Only the specialists had them, and evidently Shepard had thought she was as good as one.

She couldn't remember needing sleep so badly. She had gone for days without it on long campaigns. But a meeting with Hannah Shepard required her to be at a hundred per cent, and she was far from it at the moment.

Ash opened the door and fought to keep herself from screaming. Jack was sitting on her bed, one leg dangling off the edge and the other bent high so she could rest her arm on it. She was holding a knife, but mercifully she had some clothes on.

"Are you going to kill me?" were the first words out of Ash's mouth.

"Not yet."

Ash eyed the knife apprehensively, but she knew if Jack wanted to kill her she would do it with her brain. She allowed herself to breathe.

"Close the door and sit down," ordered Jack. Ash did so and sat down on a chair, the only other piece of furniture in her quarters.

"Now. About Jack."

Ash knew it was coming.

"I want to know what went on between you two, and what's going on now."

"We were together once. Now we aren't any longer. That's all there is to it. There's nothing else to tell."

Jack moved closer to her. "What about the night I left the ship?"

"What?"

"Don't play dumb with me, Alliance. Out of nowhere, you came on board. I told that jerk to make a choice. He chose you, and I stormed off. I didn't see him until I showed up at Sombra Corp HQ. What happened that night?"

Incredibly, Ash smiled. This did not go unnoticed by Jack, who was three seconds away from dishing out major violence. Ash's survival instincts, finely tuned for detecting immediate danger, led her to cut in with a hasty reply.

"I'm sorry. Really. It's just that I've never seen Jack so...pathetic that night."

"What?"

"We were talking and I mentioned the possibility of us getting back together."

"You _unbelievable _bit-"

"Let me finish. I loved Jack, ok? He and I were in love and you can't deny it. We saved each other's lives, we fought side by side, and despite all he had done and all he had to do he remained a good man at the end of the day. Then he goes and tells me -"

"What?"

"He said he was going to ask me to marry him."

The next thing Ash knew, she was flat on her back with a knife held at her throat. The steel was hard and cold, a sharp contrast to Jack's eyes, which were a blazing inferno.

"_What?_" she said again, but this time in a deadly whisper. Ash decided to speak very slowly and very carefully.

"You said you wanted to know what happened. But Jack didn't stop there."

Jack didn't slice her throat open, so Ash figured she had better continue.

"I did say he was pathetic, and here's why. He immediately pushed me away and started babbling about how much he loved you. About how much you needed him. And how much he needed you."

Ashley Williams would always be courageous. It was her one defining trait. On her back with a blade at her throat, she looked straight into Jack's eyes and told the truth.

"I told him it was ridiculous, of course. He didn't need you. The Jack Shepard I know didn't _need _anyone. I had no idea what the hell he was talking about."

The knife pressed harder, the pressure mounting. Blood begin to well at a point where the skin was broken, and trickled down her neck. But Ash's voice remained remarkably calm.

"But...I realise something now. That Jack Shepard I know is dead. The one I know today is a different man. A changed man. For better or worse, he's not the man I fell in love with. He's the man who loves you. And I should accept that."

A momentary flash of hesitation stole into Jack's eyes.

"You can kill me if you want, but that won't change anything. Jack Shepard loves you, not me. Though he's changed in some ways he's still the same in others. As long as there's a spark of life in him he will fight for the ones he loves...and you're number one on his list."

There was a moment's pause, then Jack withdrew the knife. She looked scared and uncertain, something that Ash had never before seen. She wouldn't meet her eyes.

"I'm sorry," she murmured. Then without another word, she left the room.

"Goddamn moonbrain," Ash swore under her breath. She found a clean cloth and held it to her neck, and was asleep within seconds.


	26. A Man and his Women

**Chapter 26 – A Man and his Women**

**Normandy Bridge**

"Take her in, Helmsman," said Miranda, from her position on the command deck. In Shepard's absence she had stepped up to take his spot and nobody had dared to say otherwise.

"Aye aye, XO," replied Joker, just as formally. Joker was one who dared, of course, even if he cooperated to make things easier for everyone around. By the way he carefully enunciated Miranda's rank he was letting her know she wasn't the captain of the ship, not while Shepard was still alive.

Jack could tell Miranda understood his meaning, by the stiffness of her nod. She smiled to herself and shifted into her favourite position, skulking in the shadows, her back to a handy wall to make sure no one could sneak up on her. Of course, up on the Normandy's bridge there weren't very many shadows around.

She stole a glance out of the window, which Joker had left open. Maybe he'd forgotten to shut them, or he kept them open for the same reason she had. Jack wanted to get a good look at the SSV _Orizaba_, one of the few capital class dreadnoughts the Alliance Navy could boast of.

Even at this distance, she could see it, a huge indistinct shape hanging in the blackness of space. As Joker flew closer, she marvelled at all the gray armour plating, the myriad gun batteries and the heart-stopping power of its main gun, a weapon that could rip out chunks of a moon. She knew every detail of each one of the Alliance's dreadnoughts, a legacy of the indoctrination she survived at the tender mercy of her Cerberus handlers. But reading and watching vids paled in comparison to looking at one in the flesh. The massive ship plainly signalled 'power' to anyone looking at it. Jack felt a frisson of excitement run down her spine just by looking at it. The raw animal lust of being in the presence of so much power was very like the one she felt when she looked at Shepard and her heart skipped a beat.

The Normandy flew in as a dignified manner as she could manage, with the entirety of the Fifth Fleet looking on. From the look on Joker's face he could have been relaxing in his bunk watching a holovid though. Only a slight furrowing of his brow belied his concentration. The ship weaved in gracefully through the massed ranks of the Fifth Fleet, arrayed in rings around their flagship, protecting her as bodyguards would protect a President.

"This is the Normandy," announced Joker. "Requesting permission to dock." Like all capital class ships, the _Orizaba_ had docking bays for smaller ships and their crews.

A moment of silence while the people on the other end checked codes and confirmed clearances, and Joker's communicator crackled again. "You are cleared for entry. Stand by, Normandy."

Jack rolled her neck, feeling it click satisfyingly into place. This should be interesting.

Joker brought the ship in as gently as a downy feather and engaged the hatch. He nodded to Miranda, who stepped down from the command deck. The XO would be bringing along all the key personnel, including Agent Williams, for their meeting with Captain Hannah Shepard. Jack had been invited along last, almost like an afterthought. The insult rankled, but it wasn't enough to make her fly off the handle. Not yet anyway.

When the hatch hissed open a group of smartly dressed and very polished Alliance officers were waiting to greet them. Their leader, a first lieutenant with creases on his uniform so sharp you could have used them for shaving, nodded politely to Miranda.

"Good morning ma'am," he said. Capital class ships were so big they needed standard time measurements, otherwise everyone just kind of guessed without the benefit of a sun nearby to tell you what the time was. "My name is Lieutenant Harding. I will escort you to Captain Shepard."

Miranda had put on her Cerberus officer's uniform, not the skintight white catsuit she usually pranced around in. Even though the vest and jacket was of a Cerberus design at least she looked a hell of a lot more professional. "Thank you, Lieutenant," she replied formally.

Jack fell into step well at the back of the group. Her bald head and inked skin earned a few curious glances, but nothing more than that. She was wearing the black leather top Shepard had bought for her that faraway day on the Citadel, and looked somewhat presentable. Besides, she didn't want to be noticed...yet.

Normally she would have been scanning everything around her, trying to spot the weaknesses and the flaws to better formulate a plan of attack, but her time in the Cerberus training facility had left her as familiar with capital class ships as though she was brought up on one. With nothing else to look at, she studied their little group instead.

The first thing she noticed was that there seemed to be a lot of women around. Ashley and Miranda were leading the group, and Tali and Kasumi were tagging along for a meeting with Captain Hannah Shepard. They had lost Jack Shepard, Garrus, Jacob and Thane, and the girls were going to pull their fat out of the fire. Jack grinned to herself. She wouldn't let Shepard forget this one.

They travelled down the long corridors and passageways that threaded through the dreadnought like tunnels in an anthill. Jack began to feel antsy herself, she didn't like it much in small cramped spaces with little room to fight. Eventually the Lieutenant brought the little party to a meeting room. Hannah Shepard, although she wanted to get her son back, plainly didn't think it was a good idea to let the ex-Cerberus personnel steal a glance at the ship's bridge.

The room was much bigger than the small one the Normandy had, and was comfortably furnished. An orderly brought drinks and anything else they might have wanted. Jack accepted a cup of coffee and sipped slowly, her eyes darting in all directions. Surely she wouldn't have long to wait.

And she didn't. A few short minutes later, Captain Hannah Shepard walked into the room, flanked by her own XO and a Marine Commander.

Unlike the fruit salad that decorated the chests of her officers, Hannah Shepard wore a plain dark blue captain's uniform, with only a single small medal pinned to her front. Her hair was short and dark, in a plain, no-nonsense style that curled just below her chin. But what Jack noticed first was her height, or lack of it. Hannah Shepard couldn't have been over five-foot-four. Her son would have towered over her.

But stature be damned, from the way she moved and gazed around the room Jack knew this was somebody who was used to the heavy burdens of command and had managed to thrive under it. She had a look of quiet strength about her, and her strong chin and sparkling eyes reminded Jack so much of Shepard himself. Like her son, Hannah inspired confidence and trust at first sight.

Jack had heard of her, of course. Nearly every human had. Captain Shepard had refused promotion to Admiral several times, stating that she would serve her sailors better as a captain in charge of the ship. She was extremely good at her job, hunting down pirates and slavers without unnecessary brutality. There were quite a few colonies that wouldn't be in one piece today without the timely intervention of the Fifth Fleet.

Ashley Williams stepped forward and shook her hand. A few quiet words were exchanged between them, and the famous captain made her way to the negotiating table. A small wave of her hand, and Miranda and the rest of the Normandy boarding party did the same.

"Now then," she said, and her voice once again reminded Jack achingly of her Jack – the same confident tone of someone who's secretly amused by everything the world had to offer. But it was tired, more harried, and Jack understood instinctively that Hannah was worried for the Normandy's captain. "What are we going to do to get my son back?"

Ashley gave her report. Miranda gave hers. Dr. Solus provided technical details. Kasumi, with some prodding, shared what she had managed to prise from the Cerberus archives. For her part Jack did nothing but sit and listen. She was seated beside Grunt, which she liked because there were few things in the galaxy that made her look less threatening, but a big krogan was one of them. Hannah sat back and listened, absorbing every word, never once giving the impression that any piece of information was useless or unnecessary. Looking at her you wouldn't know that her son's life was at stake.

"Politically this will be tricky," said Ashley at one point. "The Fifth Fleet is supposed to be patrolling an entirely different star system. Even if we split up the Fleet the absence of its capital ship will not go unnoticed."

"I'm aware of that," said Hannah dryly. "I'll deal with the consequences. I'll say this was an urgent mission of Citadel Council importance – isn't that right?"

Miranda nodded. "Black ops, classified stuff, but still with a Citadel mandate."

"And in these trying times humanity's relationship with the Council is ever so important," quipped Hannah. "Besides, I also have the word of an Alliance Intelligence agent that saving Spectre Shepard is of vital importance to the Alliance."

"The media will make a fuss."

"They always do. I've always survived."

"What will you say to Admiral Hackett?"

"I'll contact him personally. He owes me a few favours. Hell, he owes John several huge favours. I'm sure he won't mind me going to rescue him."

"The dreadnought is of vital importance," piped up Mordin. "Cerberus defenses around Tessalon are immensely strong, far stronger and tougher than any three other bases. But no match for an Alliance dreadnought."

"What about Jacob and the others?" asked Kasumi. "I have a location for him, as well as Garrus and Thane."

"Shepard would want Garrus rescued," said Ashley thoughtfully. "They're closer than brothers."

"How much of the Fifth Fleet can we use?" queried Miranda. Hannah raised an eyebrow.

"What are you proposing?"

"We don't have to rescue them one by one. If we hit one base they can contact the others and move them around again. Split up Fifth Fleet and go after all of them at the same time."

"The Alliance will raise hell for that," muttered Hannah's XO. He did not look a happy man.

Hannah thought for a while, drumming her fingers on the table. "I'll do it. Makes sense to grab all of them at the same time. I'll lead the assault on Tessalon and get John back."

"Then I'll take the Normandy and lead some of the fleet to where Jacob and Garrus and Thane are held," said Miranda. Hannah assigned a number of cruiser-led frigate flotillas to accompany her. They agreed on a specific timing and communication wavelength to keep in contact at all times. Hannah stood up, signalling an end to the meeting. She shook hands with Ashley and Miranda once more, and let them file out of the room first.

Jack didn't quite meet her eyes when she left the room. She had an idea in mind.

Moving silently behind Grunt's massive bulk, the slim biotic was practically hidden from view. As they rounded a corner, Jack stopped in her tracks and melted into the shadows, letting the rest of the group proceed towards the Normandy. With luck they wouldn't notice she was gone.

A normal ship had few places to hide. A capital ship was practically a floating city. Even if she didn't know every inch of the ship inside and out thanks to her Cerberus training, she could have easily found a place to hide. Captain Hannah Shepard hadn't said anything about allowing the crew of the Normandy to participate in the raid on Tessalon. But Jack had something to say about that.

When her Jack got in trouble, she came running. It was what she did and will be doing from now until the day she died. One Captain Shepard was gearing up to rescue another. Jack intended to be right in the thick of it.

Jack found a handy bulkhead and settled herself down behind it. She wanted to calm herself down before the inevitable insanity that accompanied every one of her plans.

**Tessalon**

The high security base on the lonely desert planet was in a state of what could only be accurately described as utter chaos. Ever since the Spectre Shepard escaped his cell he had already killed one guard and was loose somewhere in the facility.

Ransom Foley had raged and screamed and broken things, but to no avail. One of the galaxy's most dangerous men was free within the most secure base Cerberus still had available, and he had to be found at all costs.

It should have been easy. Ransom had already given orders to the planet's orbital defenses to shoot down anything that floated ten inches off the ground. Wherever Shepard was, he wasn't about to escape the planet. Which left the relatively simple task of searching the premises for him.

But relatively simple never was when you were dealing with a Spectre. No matter how many teams of guards Ransom sent, Shepard had apparently vanished into thin air.

A small squad edged nervously down a deserted passageway. They constantly swung their rifles around, ready to fire at the slightest hint of noise.

Their sergeant signalled for them to stop.

"I heard something."

"What is it sarge?" whispered another guard, at the back of the line.

"Keep quiet for a moment."

The guards did so, terror building in their hearts. They all had seen the body of the guard Shepard had left in his cell. And that was before he had grabbed the guy's weapon.

The sergeant suddenly motioned for the last guard to step forward. He did so.

"Can you hear that?"

"Uh, no..."

The sergeant waited until the guard had let his arms dangle to his sides, before jamming the snout of his own submachine gun against the shelf of his neck.

"Don't make any funny movements," he hissed.

"Sarge? What the hell?"

"This one's been acting suspicious all patrol. Take off your helmet. Do it now!"

Shaking and quivering, the guard slowly hit the release catch on his full face helmet. It popped open and fell to the floor, revealing the terrified face of someone who was definitely not Jack Shepard.

"Hmm, maybe not. But what about you?"

He pointed the SMG at the face of the next guard, who hurriedly removed his own helmet. Soon the rest of the squad were all helmetless, and it was clear none of them was Shepard. The sergeant was the only one with his helmet still on.

"Checks out. Alright guys, let's move."

"Sarge?" asked one of the guards, in a voice tinged with suspicion. "What's my name?"

"What?"

"My name. Do you know it?"

"Uh..."

The guards looked at each other. You could see the realisation slowly dawn on their faces.

"Oh hell," I swore mildly. Then I reversed the gun I was holding and smashed the butt into the temple of the nearest guard as hard as I could.

Before the rest could so much as cry out I did the same, striking with the solid stock of my submachine gun, knocking them unconscious in a matter of seconds. The best part was that their communicators were located in their helmets, so they couldn't send out a warning even if they wanted to.

Soon the guards were lying in a heap all around me. I absent mindedly adjusted the shoulder straps of the sergeant's uniform I had stolen. The sergeant himself was lying in an unused closet somewhere else, his neck snapped.

_Good work, _whispered Morinth, all sultry tones in the deep recesses of my head.

"I do my best," I muttered.

Whatever Morinth had done to my body and mind, it was working beautifully. I didn't feel at all tired, or battered, or bruised. In fact, I felt great. Despite the fact that I had been kept in near starvation and tortured a couple of times, I felt ready to run across a plain, climb a mountain and swim a sea.

I knew it wasn't real. I knew there was a price to pay, later. Morinth was merely affecting the capacitors in my brain that dealt with small things like pain and exhaustion. Later I would feel the full force of my exertions. I wondered if it would be more than I could take.

But I could worry about that later. I had to get out of here. And getting out of here meant finding Ransom Foley.

I knelt down and took out a sidearm from a hip holster. It was a small pistol. Silenced.

Ordinarily I would have felt guilty about it. But I was in a desperate situation. And I never asked to be here. They were the ones who took me and held me and hurt me. If they were up and running again later, they would pose more problems for me. It made perfect sense.

Five bullets. Each in the center of the head. Quick and clean.

_You're learning, mine host, _whispered Morinth. I didn't even bother arguing with her.

Job done, I readjusted my helmet and advanced deeper into the base, feeling absolutely nothing.

**SSV _Orizaba_**

Jack wanted to stretch her legs and walk around or go to sleep, but she could do neither. Doing the first would reveal herself to the crew of the _Orizaba_, while the second would mean that she might miss the actual combat situation as it begins. Even though she was an extraordinarily light sleeper, she didn't want to take any chances.

She felt the deep thrum in the floor and the walls around her as the dreadnought smoothly pulled into the faster than light travel afforded by a mass relay. Half of the Fifth Fleet was on its way to Tessalon, where her Jack was.

He had to be safe. She believed it like an angel believed in God. It nurtured and sustained her, a core of light and hope and happiness that had slowly replaced the one of fear and hate ever since she had met him. It calmed her and quietened her nightmares. Still, she was going to go save Shepard's ass for him, even if she was sure he was perfectly capable of taking care of himself.

A short while later Jack felt another tremor as the dreadnought emerged from its trip through the mass relay. She leaned her head back and closed her eyes in an effort at concentration.

From Kasumi's stolen records she knew the exact distance from the mass relay in this system to the hidden planet of Tessalon. From her other memories she recalled every detail of an Alliance dreadnought's cruising speed, down to the last centimetre. She remembered the standard battle plans for a fleet intending to attack a heavily fortified planetary base.

Which all added up to...about seventeen minutes for her to get ready.

The minute sirens began to wail throughout her deck she knew it was time to move. Unfolding herself from her little nook Jack began to stride with a purpose towards to fighter hangars.

Walk quickly and with a look of concentration on your face and nobody will bother you. That was the trick with these government types.

"Hey! You there!"

Jack cursed under her breath and walked faster. Never run, walk fast. Apparently that wasn't enough for a slim bald girl covered in ink and not dressed in uniform to not be noticed.

A few minutes later Jack found what she was looking for. A fighter pilot on his way to the hangar bays. Tall, handsome and with a cocky strut, like so many of these boys were. She tailed him silently, never taking her eyes off him.

Before he reached the hangar bay doors Jack stretched out a hand and an invisible bolt of force lanced forward and hit the pilot in the small of his neck, knocking him out instantly. Moving quickly, Jack stole his flight suit, helmet and other ID, and stashed his body somewhere out of sight. Then she strode forward as confidently as any pilot would.

They must have encountered serious resistance if the dreadnought was deploying its fighters. Although a dreadnought had enough weaponry to devastate a sitting target, it still had a complement of fighters to protect itself. Unlike say a carrier, which used floods of fighters offensively.

Jack climbed into 'her' fighter, then felt a moment of panic as she came face to face with all the controls and buttons and switches in front of her. Then her training took over and she remembered what every last little lever was for.

"_What does that one do?" the shadowy figure demanded of the small, frightened child. He didn't care that she was exhausted and haven't had a meal in days. He wanted her to respond automatically._

_And she did. "It provides vertical thrust," she reeled off, the words spilling from her mouth despite her trying to prevent them._

"_Good," said the man. He sounded satisfied. "One day this knowledge will come in handy."_

And it had. And it would. But she would use it to hunt down and kill every last member of his organisation as painfully as she knew how.

"Payback's a bitch," she muttered, beginning the takeoff sequence. Seconds later she had blasted off into space.

**Command Deck**

**Bridge**

**SSV _Orizaba_**

Hannah Shepard had a simple philosophy every time she went into battle. Never panic, always have a backup plan, and treat every life under her command as if it was her own. It had served her well over the years, and she had never had a reason to change it.

This battle would be no different. It would be more difficult, of course. Ransom Foley was not a man to put his personal safety in jeopardy. And half of her beloved Fifth Fleet was gone, under the command of a woman she trusted and another one she still didn't. But part of being a good captain was adapting to unexpected circumstances.

Hannah took up her familiar position on the command deck. Holographic readouts displayed critical information in easy to read diagrams in real time. Communicators linked her to every man and woman in a combat position. Some people were good at tactics, others strategy. Hannah excelled at both, which was why Fifth Fleet had the lowest casualty rate in the Alliance Navy. Her crew trusted her to provide the best leadership possible, and it was a promise she would never break.

Tessalon loomed below her, a dreary dust bowl of a planet of extremely little interest. The Alliance hadn't even bothered to patrol here, as it had no resources of notes, was not terraformable and it was located in a very remote spot. In hindsight that made it the perfect location for a Cerberus base.

But somewhere on that sandball was her son, and he he needed her help. Shepard hadn't needed his mother's help for some years now, but old habits died hard.

"We are experiencing heavy resistance, captain," warned her ship's XO. Telford was a good man, but he had a habit of stating the obvious.

"Are the fighters deployed?" asked Hannah Shepard.

"Yes ma'am."

"Order them to keep close, I don't want them engaging in unnecessary dogfights. First priority is to protect the dreadnought. Let our main gun do the heavy lifting."

"Aye aye ma'am," said Telford crisply. He relayed her orders to the tactical team below.

Hannah consulted the map of the field in front of her. She had taken along half of Fifth Fleet to assault Tessalon, which had began deploying fighters the minute they had sneaked into orbit. The Cerberus fighters were streaking towards their position with evil intent.

She snapped off a few more orders. The carriers, who were keeping well behind, unleashed their own squadrons of fighters. A few cruisers manoeuvred in place, ready to begin the orbital bombardment.

There was a flash from the planet below, and before she could scream a warning an unlucky frigate took a direct hit. As she watched in horror the frigate began to spiral downwards to the planet, clearly unable to fly under its own power.

"XO!"

"Yes ma'am!"

"Get a lock on that ground based cannon and charge up our main gun."

"Aye aye ma'am."

Doing that took a few more minutes. The orbital defense gun fired again and again. It managed to hit another cruiser, but not badly enough to take it out of the fight.

"Target confirmed, captain."

"Fire," she said, more calmly than she felt, even before Telford had finished speaking.

Everyone on the bridge stopped what they were doing to watch the Orizaba's main gun charge up before releasing its beam of death in an immense, unstoppable shockwave down to the planet below. She rarely needed to use it and she felt a rush of primal joy at the sight of so much power under her control.

Far away below them the blast impacted on the ground-based cannon. The resulting dust cloud rose up several miles in the atmosphere and flung pieces of shattered rock several miles away from ground zero.

"A hit!"

"We'll pick up that frigate later," said Hannah. "But I'm sure as hell they felt _that. _Let's mop up the rest of this mess."

The fighters rolled all around, shooting and dodging each other, but as long as the dreadnought was protected, they would smash the Cerberus base completely. It was only a matter of time.

"Captain?" cut in XO Telford. "One of our fighters isn't holding position. It's moving away from the _Orizaba_."

Hannah frowned. "Contact that fighter directly."

"Aye aye ma'am. Eagle 6, you are ordered to hold position. Eagle 6, you are ordered not to engage with the enemy. Over."

There was a moment of silence. Hannah and Telford exchanged puzzled glances.

"That's Horowitz's fighter, isn't it?" asked Hannah. She had a great memory for everyone's names who worked and lived on the ship.

Telford checked a readout. "Appears so, ma'am."

"What the hell is he doing? Open up comms, I'll talk to him myself."

Telford flicked a switch and Hannah leaned over her communicator.

"Horowitz, this is Captain Hannah Shepard. What are you doing? Hold position, first priority is to defend the dreadnought, over."

No answer.

"Horowitz," growled Hannah. "This is your last warning. I'll haul you up on a court martial if you survive this. Over, damnit."

Then a strange voice emerged from the communicator. It was a young woman's voice and sounded as if it should be sweet and charming, yet its tone was harsh and full of fire. It was like hearing a doe give a grizzly's roar.

"This ain't Horowitz."

"Who are you?"

"Doesn't matter. But I'm going to save Shepard...Jack Shepard I mean. Don't have time to waste."

"What?" But the communicator suddenly clicked off.

"Who the hell was that?" demanded Hannah of her XO. But he hadn't the slightest idea.

**Tessalon Atmosphere**

Tucked within the cramped confines of an Alliance fighter, Jack reflected on the absurdity of life.

It wasn't a thing she usually did. Weapons were not meant to question their purpose. If a gun suddenly had second thoughts about killing others it was useless as a weapon. So for the longest time Jack had no opinion whatsoever on the absurdity of life.

Shepard had changed that of course. He'd shown her how to be a person, not just the weapon. And along with that rubbed off some of his personal philosophy and ideas. He didn't mean to do it overtly, but it had happened all the same. Jack now found herself looking at the universe with a decidedly Shepardian point of view.

For instance, if Shepard was here he would probably have made some quip on the absolute ridiculous idea of jetting out into unprotected space in what was basically an eggshell of breakable material. Oh sure it could fly and shoot. But less than a few inches of metal and plastic and ceramic separated her from the death of space. You had to be insane to want to voluntarily fly this thing into combat where a bunch of other guys were trying their best to kill you.

Jack was violent, bloodthirsty and prone to intense fits of moodiness, but she wasn't insane. So it was with great reluctance she raced away from the protective embrace of the immense dreadnought and headed straight for Tessalon down below.

"Jack. You. Owe. Me," she muttered to herself, over and over, only dimly aware that she was doing it. It wasn't until sometime later she noticed her communicator flashing and beeping and activated it. It was the captain, and she sounded angry. Jack gave short, non-commital answers and flicked it off again. She would need as little distraction as possible to pull this off.

Her fighter screamed through the battle that raged all around her, as Cerberus fighters swooped and shot at Alliance fighters, frigates and cruisers. Fifth Fleet was at half strength and Tessalon Base was the most heavily defended of Cerberus's few remaining strongholds, so Jack judged it an even fight. She didn't put all her trust in Hannah Shepard's ability to win, so rather than hang around on the Orizaba or the Normandy she decided to go down and get Jack herself.

Easier said than done, but Jack had always preferred action over sitting around and waiting.

Now and then she would fire the weapons, taking care to hit Cerberus targets. She entertained thoughts about blasting Alliance ships out of her way, but dismissed them. Eventually the truth would get out, and Hannah Shepard would come down on her like the wrath of an angry god. Jack wasn't afraid of her...not a lot anyway...but she didn't think it would be a good idea to piss off Shepard's mom at this early stage.

_She's going to hate me anyway, so why bother?_

No. The Alliance crewmen and women hadn't hurt her. Cerberus had. Jack had little use for honour, but she was severely practical. So she made sure every shot she fired impacted upon a black-painted fighter.

One of the Cerberus fighters seemed to take offense at her attacks. He abandoned the bombing run he was about to make upon an Alliance cruiser and arrowed straight for Jack. She cursed and kicked her fighter upwards, hoping she was fast enough to escape the frontal assault.

His initial wild shots missed by scant inches as Jack's fighter swung out of the way. But it was slow in turning and Jack struggled with the controls, trying to turn her fighter around to face the Cerberus pilot.

Alliance fighters were built for speed and manoeuvrability, sacrificing armour, shields and backup systems, but the Cerberus fighter was faster still. It made her own craft look as though it was standing still as it turned and fired.

Instinctively, desperately, Jack threw up her personal biotic shield around the fighter. The shot impacted with great force, shattering the shield. Blood began to flow from her nose and it took several long moments before she could think clearly. Silence filled the cockpit and Jack dimly realised she had been screaming out loud.

She was the most powerful human biotic ever created, but there was a limit to how much she could do. Heavy fighter weapons in zero-atmo were evidently beyond her capabilities.

With no other option she slammed the firing button and opened up with all barrels. The Cerberus fighter swooped gracefully out of the way, then arrowed back, positioning itself for one final shot that would tear through her fighter and send it crashing to the planet below. As for its pilot, a quick death in the explosion was the best that could be hoped for, as opposed to being sucked out in the vacuum of space and left there to suffocate.

Jack screamed again, but this time in frustration. She could not die yet, not with Shepard still in danger. She could not die while a single member of Cerberus still lived. She refused to die with unfinished work, with painful memories unavenged.

Then out of nowhere the Cerberus fighter blew up in a ball of flame. As Jack watched, more fighters flew over to her position, almost like an escort. To her amazement she recognised the insignias emblazoned on their sides that marked them as the _Orizaba_'s personal fighter guard.

Her communicator beeped again and she flicked it on. Hannah Shepard's strong voice filled the cockpit.

"Whoever's there...if you're really going to save my son...get the hell down there and do it. My fighters will see you to safety."

"But your dreadnought -"

"You're burning daylight, miss. I'll worry about the _Orizaba_. Go. Now!"

"Aye aye ma'am," Jack muttered under her breath. She switched off the communicator and kicked her fighter into a downward descent, the _Orizaba_ fighter guard shielding her as they raced towards the planet's surface.

**Cerberus Base**

I edged towards the end of the wall. I could clearly hear raised voices from the corridor opposite and they sounded too angry to worry about someone overhearing them.

"I'm not going in there!"

"You get in there or I'll shoot you myself!"

"Why would he be in the vents? It doesn't make sense!"

"Shepard is insane, he doesn't make sense! Crawling around in the vents is exactly what he would do! Now get in there!"

I heard the sound of a rifle being cocked.

"Alright, alright!"

I heard various grunts and curses, then a loud creaking of metal. I risked a glance around the edge of the wall. An officer was standing below the open grate of the air vent that ran around the ceiling of the base, looking upwards. He was alone.

I took careful aim at the back of his neck and fired a silent shot. The officer fell as though his legs had been cut from under him. Seeing no one else, I crept into the corridor and glanced upwards myself. Then a thought struck me.

I holstered my pistol and grabbed a frag grenade from the officer's belt. Standing where he stood, I tossed it into the vent, and it rattled around inside. Then I ran like hell.

3...2...1...and there was a deafening, beautiful explosion, and the crackle of flames. I grinned to myself. Another squad down.

**Tessalon surface**

Dazed and confused, Jack hit the cockpit release button and a harsh, dry wind blew about her. Gripping the edge of the fighter with both hands, she forced herself upwards and out of the cockpit. She missed a step and rolled down the side, landing in a sorry heap on the dust and sand that made up much of the planet's surface.

For a brief moment she was tempted to just lie there and sleep for twelve hours. But she still had a job that needed to be done. She struggled to her feet and managed a few steps away from the crashed fighter, which was still burning hot from its trip through the atmosphere.

The flight down had been a wild ride, penetrating the planet's heavy defenses was a challenge for even the most skilled of pilots. Fortunately the main orbital defense gun was too preoccupied with firing at Fifth Fleet to notice a small group of fighters sneaking past.

Unfortunately the other gun batteries and fighter wings had managed to take out half of the Orizaba's fighter guard before seeing Jack safely down on the surface. Then they had blasted off again, clearly eager to get back into the fight.

Jack admired their courage, so soon after their friends had been killed. She hoped she wouldn't have to do the same.

She blinked, trying to wash the dust from her eyes and wondered where she should go next. The terrain was as flat and featureless as you would expect a desert to be. But far in the distance, periodic flashes of light caught her eye. Far in the sky above her, similar flashes could be glimpsed as the battle between Fifth Fleet and Cerberus still raged. Jack knew the base was there. She knew that Shepard would be there too.

It was a hell of a long way to walk. But she didn't have time. She felt the familiar slight pressure build up behind her eyeballs, and in the next moment she was lifted off the ground. Jack threw up a small bubble to shield her eyes from the stinging wind, and borne on the wings of biotic energy, she soared towards the base.

**Cerberus Base**

**Inner Chamber**

Ransom Foley sat at his command post, keeping his eyes glued to a dozen screens. From here he could watch over every inch of his base. Around him men dressed in Cerberus black dashed back and forth from one console to the other, shouting orders that went unheeded. Emergency alarms wailed in the background, providing a backdrop to the chaos.

Foley was vaguely aware that an Alliance force hovered in the air over his last, most secure base. He dismissed it. It was irrelevant. John Shepard was still prowling the confines of his base. His sanctuary. And the trained men he sent after him, the elite crack troops he had personally selected and trained, had vanished without a trace, one by one. A vein was throbbing at the corner of his forehead.

"Send another team to search the East Wing," he ordered his aide.

"Sir, we don't have any to spare. The only guards left are outside this room."

"Then send them."

"Sir, I don't think that would be a good idea."

"SEND THEMMMMM!" bellowed Ransom, rising from his seat, spit flying from his mouth. The Cerberus aide nearly fell over himself trying to get away. Another man, with more guts than sense, ran up to take his place.

"Sir, the main orbital defense gun has taken a direct hit from the Orizaba. We can no longer mount an effective defense."

"Send another fighter squadron."

"There aren't any left. The ones that are out there have destroyed several Alliance craft, but they are taking heavy casualties and they will not last long."

"I don't care," muttered Ransom, half to himself.

"Sir?"

"Shepard is loose in this base. I will see him dead. That is all that matters, do you hear me? All that counts. Let the Alliance come. They won't be laughing when they find the dead body of their hero."

The Cerberus officer paled, blood draining from his face. "Sir, what about us?"

Ransom turned to look at him for the first time. His eyes were an inferno. "I do not care."

The officer looked as though he had a dozen things to say, but he bit them back. He saluted stiffly and rushed off. Ransom turned back to watching his screens, but his mind drifted back to a conversation he had several days ago.

_He had been granted the permission to speak to the one man he had pledged loyalty to his entire life, the only person whose words he had ever believed in. Foley had fought in wars and earned billions through both nefarious and legitimate means, and amassed power beyond the wildest desires of men. Yet he craved acceptance and indulgence from one man, a man whom he believed was the last and best hope of the entire species._

_Shimmering faintly, the Illusive Man appeared before him. He was seated in his favourite chair, sipping from a clear decanter. He appeared entirely at ease and in control of himself._

_Ransom inclined his head. "Sir."_

"_Ransom," greeted the Illusive Man. His tone was warm and friendly. "Please, give me your report."_

"_Shepard remains within my custody sir, but he refuses to talk. I am sorry, but he has yet to divulge critical information about the Citadel Council, or the Normandy."_

"_No matter," said the Illusive Man, waving a hand. "I had not placed much faith in Shepard revealing anything. He can be a stubborn one. I have arranged pickup for him within a few days."_

_Ransom felt wrongfooted for a moment. "Sir?"_

"_Shepard is far too valuable to remain on Tessalon. I will have him brought to me."_

"_The man remains dangerous."_

"_I would hope so. Still, I am confident you would have exorcised the worst sort of tendencies out of him, Ransom. My need for Shepard is far too great. I have to take the chance."_

"_Your need, sir?"_

"_I am about to run a few more tests involving Reaper technology. The Spectre is the perfect choice. We will need him when the Reapers finally make their move."_

"_With all due respect sir," began Ransom, but he was cut off._

"_Enough," said the Illusive Man, and just for a moment he looked angry. "We've been through this. Shepard is valuable. No one else can do what he does. He has dealt us a terrible blow by destroying the Collector base, and he will receive his appropriate punishment. Miranda Lawson once suggested that we implant a control chip in his brain to make him more...susceptible to suggestion. I overruled her. I should have listened."_

"_Shepard will be under the direct control of Cerberus?"_

"_Shepard will be under the direct control of myself," said the Illusive Man quietly. "He is strong, but he will be broken. I hold the whip and in time he will learn to jump at my command. _

"_But sir."_

"_Speak, Foley. You know I always have time to listen to what you have to say."_

"_I do not believe Shepard can be fully controlled, even with a chip. The risk is too great. It would be better to finish him off permanently."_

"_We need him."_

"_The man is a mere soldier. He runs and shoots. That's all he does!"_

"_He gets results. And he is rather useful in the propaganda department, even now. And you forget that he has access to the deepest intelligence sources of both Citadel Council and the Spectres, not to mention the many alliances he has managed to forge. We are going to need that firepower come the invasion. I have been gathering as much information as I can on the Reapers, but we still need an army at the end of the day. His army."_

"_I can raise another army, sir. A human army. We will not need the aliens."_

"_We do need them, Ransom. As cannon fodder. As diversions. As distractions. As necessary sacrifices. Make no mistake, my friend. I use the aliens because I must. They will shield humanity from the brunt of the invasion, and we will reign supreme once the storm has passed. We will build our new empire on their corpses piled high."_

"_Sir. What of his woman, sir? The biotic named Jack."_

"_A failure," said the Illusive Man frankly. "An utter, utter failure. Shoot her on sight. The scrawny little bitch is far more trouble than she's worth."_

"_Understood sir."_

"_Keep Shepard comfortable until my men arrive, Ransom. I'll speak to you soon."_

"_Goodbye, sir."_

But Ransom Foley had not obeyed the wishes of his commander. He had been goaded into violence by Shepard, beyond even his limits. And he had paid for that mistake. Shepard had been tortured, but Shepard had been freed. But even that was advantageous to Ransom. Now he could kill the Spectre and claimed he had died trying to escape. And once that was over and done with, the Illusive Man would have no other option but turn to him to lead the defense against the Reaper invasion. To become the greatest hero and saviour in human history.

Lost in thought, he didn't notice a dark figure race to the very doors of his inner chamber, slap something on them, then run away. Not until a thunderous explosion shook the foundations of the base itself, and a man stepped through the fiery hole that had appeared in the doors.

**Shift**

I ducked immediately, narrowly avoiding a shot that whizzed over my head. I dived headlong out of sight behind a handy console, and fired when a clear target presented itself.

They poured heavy fire at me, but I hadn't come all this way to be shot now. I picked my shots carefully, never hurrying, making sure each one counted. My chest still felt perfectly fine, thanks to Morinth and my own endorphins. I was racking up a huge debt to pay later, but I could take it.

Soon the room was cleared of Cerberus men. Except one. Ransom Foley sat in his command chair, with a look of intense agony on his face. He had not moved an inch during the firefight.

I poked my head out of cover. It wasn't fired at. Wondering what the hell was going on, I moved closer to him. He saw me and his eyes narrowed.

"You."

"Aye."

"You've murdered my men. You've wrecked my base. You've ruined my career, my life. Even now the Alliance are on their way to rescue you. You. All for you. Why?"

"Must be my winning personality."

"You're just a soldier. You're nothing but a soldier. You're not even a biotic!"

"You see Ransom, that was your first mistake. Us soldiers have done a hell of a lot. All it takes is one, in the right place, and at the right time."

Quicker than I expected, Ransom whipped out his own gun and pointed it at me. Now we were in a standoff.

"Now isn't this just lovely," I muttered.

_You should have shot him when you had the chance, you damned fool, _said Morinth.

"You have to die, Shepard. You have to. Only then will Cerberus be free to continue its work. You have been a pest for far too long. The Illusive Man is wrong. You have to die."

"For once I find myself agreeing with the Illusive Man."

Neither of us had moved, our eyes locked on each other, our gun barrels trained on each other's heads. A trickle of sweat made its way down my cheek.

"Hell, Foley," I began, and there was a thunderous crack.

For half a second I was utterly bewildered. Then I noticed, in order, the look of complete shock on Ransom's face, and a faint blue biotic shield hovering in the air in front of me. Ransom had fired at me, but his shot had been deflected.

"What are you waiting for?" drawled a familiar harsh voice.

I blew Ransom Foley's brains out and turned around to look at her.

She looked back at me, smirking a little. Bald head, slim frame, small chest but with the cutest little rear you ever did see. All in black. A little dusty, but Tessalon did that to you.

"Hey."

"Hey you."

"Guess this means I save your ass again huh?"

"Oi, look around you. The base is cleaned out. Absolutely shiny. Who did that? Me. One man."

She smiled. "I guess you deserve some credit." She walked over to me.

"You look like hell."

"You look absolutely wonderful. Kiss me, damnit."

She did, and I lost myself in the moment for a while. She tasted like blood and sweat and most of all, Jack. I had missed that taste, during my long captivity.

"I can't wait any longer. Get out of those clothes."

"Is that an order, captain?"

"I can damn well make it one. Take off those pants first. Then that thong you like to wear. That is, if you even have it on now."

"This is an abandoned Cerberus base, Jack, on fire and full of dead bodies."

"Uh huh. Somehow that makes it better."

"You're sick."

"I know."

"I still love you."

"I know."

"You asshole," she laughed. Jack kissed my neck and pillowed her head against my chest. "Believe me, John Kennedy Shepard, there's nothing I'd rather do right now than to drag you to the floor, tear off your clothes and mine and fuck you till we both scream our brains out. But there's the small matter of an Alliance task force coming to rescue you."

"I heard. Who cares. They can wait for us to finish."

"It's Fifth Fleet, Jack. Your mommy's here to save you."

"Say that again."

"Fifth Fleet. Captain Hannah Shepard. _Orizaba_ Dreadnought. Coming here. Now."

"Oh Jesus Christ."

"It's your mom, Shepard. Aren't you glad to see her?"

"I haven't seen her since I 'died'. There's a million things I haven't told her. There's a million things I'm not sure I want to tell her."

"Am I one of them?"

I looked into Jack's eyes. She looked as though the entire universe was riding on my answer. Her eyes were wide, with none of the harsh, tough facade she usually put up.

"No. Never."

"Good," she whispered, and she kissed me again. We held each other for what felt like a very long time.

"I talked to her, you know."

"Who?"

"The Alliance...agent," said Jack, biting back a harsher word. "She set me straight. So you had a breakdown when she tried to jump your bones, eh?"

"Oh hell," I said. Incredibly I could feel heat rise in my cheeks.

"I'm in this for the long haul, Jack. I needed to know if you were too. And you are. And...to be honest...that's made me happier than I've ever been. Not even blowing up that Collector Base felt as good."

"Ash and I are history. You know that."

"I do now. But history's history. Let's go write us a future."

"Let's do that."

With my arm around her waist and her arm around mine, we walked out of the dead Cerberus base together. I was going to see my mother again. And this time I would be bringing a girl home to meet her.


	27. Welcome to the Family

**Chapter 27 – Welcome to the Family**

**Normandy Medical Bay**

I slept peacefully in a little bed, tucked underneath fresh new sheets. Dr Chakwas knew how important a patient's comfort was and always made sure the temperature in the medical bay was cool but not cold. She had soundproofed the whole thing too, getting Tali's help to do the actual welding. There could be a krogan brawl outside the door right now and I wouldn't hear a thing. The result was that I could catch up on all the sleep I'd been missing out on.

There were dreams, but not as many as I feared. No nightmares either. In fact there were quite pleasant ones. My dad teaching me how to shoot. Sharing a laugh with Garrus. Kissing Jack. If Morinth still lurked within the deep recesses of my mind, she was keeping very quiet. She left me alone and I slept without ceasing.

I remember waking up once, just as they were wheeling me into the Normandy. Morinth had released her hold on my mind and I had felt for the first time the full impact of the pain of my broken ribs that she was preventing me from feeling. I couldn't stand, all I could do was breathe, and even that hurt.

But just before I fell asleep I saw Miranda bending over me, a look of concern on her face. Her hair had tumbled forward, and I could see the creases and lines of worry around her eyes soften and fade.

"Garrus? Jake? Thane?" I had croaked.

"They're safe, Shepard. They're all safe."

"Thank...you," I managed to say. Then nothing for a very long time.

I opened my eyes. The pain in my chest was gone, although I could feel the tell-tale roughness of being taped up heavily around my midsection. I didn't appear to be wearing a shirt, just some shorts. It was very quiet in my room, apparently as Captain I had merited a private bed.

I turned my head to the left and had to stifle a laugh. Jack was sprawled in a small armchair, her arms and legs splayed out in every direction. Her mouth was wide open and she was snoring softly. There didn't appear to be anyone else in the room.

"Jack."

* Snore *

"Jack?"

She closed her mouth and opened her eyes, and I was struck speechless by the sight of something that still took my breath away. Jack was smiling, bright and sunny. And I still couldn't believe how pretty it made her look.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"How long was I out?"

"A while."

"You've been here all this time?"

"Every day. I didn't want you to be alone."

I smiled back at her. "Thank you."

"How are you feeling?"

"Not too bad. I'm not in pain anymore, at least."

"That's good."

Jack came over to my bed and stretched out on the sheets. She lay her head on my chest – carefully. I held her hand and she twined her fingers around mine. With my other hand I stroked her hair. Yes, she had hair now. A short mohawk, nothing like Miranda's tumbling brown locks or Ash's no-nonsense ponytail, but I liked it. It suited her.

"You saved me."

"You saved _me._"

"Just returning a favour?"

"No. Bailing your ass out of trouble. Again."

"You can tell me all about it."

"Not now. Later. There's something you owe me, _Captain._"

She rolled over and stared into my eyes and I felt myself falling away once more, I felt the fire of her spirit enveloping me, consuming me, and I felt that hunger reawaken in the deepest, darkest part of myself. She put her arms around me and kissed me on the lips and it was good, it was everything and all that I'd thought of during my long captivity. I could feel her heartbeat on my chest, her small and firm breasts that I loved as much as I loved the rest of her.

She leaned over and whispered in my ear, her breath hot on my cheek, her voice ragged and shaky with emotion.

"I need you to make love to me. Right now. Please."

There was never any question of saying no.

Out of respect to my current condition, she went slow. I rolled her on top of me and we went slow, crushing her lithe body to mine, kissing again and again, moaning softly into each other's mouths. I lost myself in her eyes and she went slow. Even as she threw her head back and cried out as if she had been hit by a bullet, I went slow. Until finally we could go slow no longer, and I was moving as fast as I could, while her sweat soaked the sheets and we both lost ourselves in each other, not caring about the next moment or what the future might hold, just that we were alive and were together and we were in love and it was enough. It would always be enough.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

She kissed the hollow of my neck and laid her head there. "Go to sleep, Jack. You're safe. You're mine. I'll keep you safe."

I held her a little tighter. Then I drifted off to sleep again.

When I woke up for the second time Jack had brought Dr Chakwas in, who finally announced that I was 'healing nicely.' I took her hand and gave her my most winning smile.

"Thanks for patching up this broken down old soldier."

"You take better care of yourself next time," she said. She gave my shoulder a reassuring squeeze, then left the room before my next visitor came in. It was Garrus, and he had the biggest grin all over his ugly, leathery face.

"Archangel got himself caught by lousy Earth security, huh? Ooh, look at the big bad Turian now. Couldn't handle a few Earth cops?"

"I'll have you know Sombra Corp employed turians as part of their security teams. It's the only way they could have ever taken me down and out," replied Garrus. He was sitting in the armchair beside my bed, while Jack leaned against the wall, her eyes never leaving me.

"Doesn't matter. Humans 1 Turians 0. What did Foley's boys do to you?"

"A bit of torture," shrugged Garrus. "Nothing permanent."

"Damn. I'm sorry, Garrus."

"Don't be. I knew the risks," he said easily. "In fact I'd busted myself out, and was rampaging through their base when Fifth Fleet showed up to rescue me...but I'll save that for another time."

"Glad you're back, mate."

"You should be. Who else is gonna watch your back for you?"

"Me," said Jack.

Garrus chuckled. "Of course, of course. Well a little extra security never hurt."

One by one they all came to visit. Jacob and Kasumi, Thane, Mordin, Grunt. Joker and Kelly too. Gabby and Ken. Tali stayed for hours. Miranda came last.

"How are you feeling, Shepard?"

"A little banged up, but getting better. What's been going on?"

"I reported our progress to the Council. They weren't happy that Ransom Foley's dead, they seemed to think he would be more valuable as a prisoner, but after releasing Kasumi's files to them they've been busy. Really busy. And happy as well. You wouldn't believe the look of glee on Valern's face. Whatever they're discovering, it's huge."

"Mission succeeded then?"

"Absolutely, Captain," she said with a smile. Then she went over to Jack and clasped her hand with both of hers. Our jaws dropped.

"I just want to thank you, Jack. For rescuing the Captain. For bringing him back safe and sound."

"I didn't do it for you," said Jack, looking uncomfortable.

"I know. But thank you anyway. You're one-of-a-kind, Captain," she said, turning back to me. "I'd hate to see you die."

"I'd hate it too, Miri," I said, still a bit off-kilter with her sudden display of friendliness towards Jack.

"Oh, your mother returned to the _Orizaba, _but I've been sending her daily updates on your condition and I think she's coming to see you soon. She said the two of you have some things to straighten out."

I couldn't help groaning. Well yes, my mother technically was the Alliance Dreadnought captain who assisted in my mission and saved my life. But it felt a little like one of the after-school lectures I was forced to endure as a kid after I'd dozed off in a lecture or something.

"Drop by my office when you have the time. We should discuss our next move. And Jack? You should come too. It's past time you learned how a little strategy."

"I don't do strategy. I'm all about action."

"You'll learn fast."

And with a swish of her hair, she was gone. Jack gave me a sheepish smile.

"She seems...different."

"Don't you like it?"

"Yeah, well. She's still a goddamn cheerleader."

"And you'll never be one. Which is why I love you." I patted the bedspread next to me. "Care to join me?"

Jack shrugged off her black leather top and let it fall to the floor, along with her bra. She stepped out of her jeans, and then her panties. "You only need to ask, soldier boy."

It was wild and wet and a hell of a lot of fun. Afterwards we lay back on the bed again, her arms around me.

"So...your mom."

"Yeah."

"She wasn't hardass Alliance brass. Not like how I pictured it."

"Mom's not your usual Alliance officer."

"Even after I knocked out her pilot and stole one of her fighters, she was more concerned about getting the job done. Any one else wouldn't have let that slide. But she did. You know, she reminds me of you. I can see where you get it from."

"That's mom. I learned a lot from her."

"I'd like to...get to know her better," said Jack slowly. Hesitantly. I knew how big a step she was taking.

"And you will. It'll be fun, huh? Bringing my girl home to meet my mom."

Jack laughed. "In your dreams, soldier boy. I'm not the delicate wallflower you picked up at the homecoming dance."

"Maybe you could be. A bright yellow sundress, some lipstick..."

"Shut up! I'm not getting dolled up for anyone. Not even for you."

I curled my arm around her and pulled her closer to me. "Oh I don't know. What if I wanted you to?"

Jack poked the side of my ribs, making me yell. "Stop this right now, Jack."

"Make me."

She trailed a hand down my thigh. "Maybe I will."

"Captain?" came Joker's voice from my intercom.

I was reading an after-action report at my work desk. The military instinct still bit hard. Miranda kept perfect reports, Tali would spend too much time working out ways things could have gone better if we had more expensive equipment, and Grunt's were basically 'I came, I saw, I smashed'. Still it was forcing them to think like a team. Jack was lying on my bed, eating an energy bar and flicking through my music collection. My preference for Earth oldies had been roundly and repeatedly mocked.

"Yeah."

"Shuttle from the _Orizaba_, Captain. Requesting permission to come aboard."

Jack's eyes met mine. We both knew who it was.

"Let my mom come on board, Joker."

"Ok Captain, and can I say that -"

"If you make any juvenile jokes, I'll have EDI flush you out of the airlock."

"Aye aye, sir."

"...fine. Aye aye sir."

I went over to my locker. "Come on, help me get my uniform on."

"Your dress blues? I like you better with them off."

"I know you do but I want to make a good impression." Jack gave me a look, but she helped me pull on my suit and jacket without comment. Without thinking about it her hand found mine and I squeezed it.

"Captain Shepard? Captain Shepard is on the bridge, sir."

"I'm on my way down, helmsman."

I punched the elevator button. "Ready, Jack?"

"I am."

"Then let's go meet my mom."

We came onto the bridge and I saw my mother for the first time in more than two years.

Save a few more lines around her eyes and a bit more grey in her hair, she hadn't changed a bit. Her hair, still at a professional length underneath her cap and curled just below her chin. Her uniform, still perfectly pressed, without so much as a speck of lint. Although both my parents were in the Alliance military, my father was the epitome of the rough-and-ready marine, not caring what he looked like or what he used as long as the job got done. I'm told I take after him. My mother was more spit-and-polish, officer cadet school, able to play the political game as well as the combat side of things. She might have only come up to my shoulder, but everyone learned very, very quickly not to get on my mother's bad side.

She generally liked people though, and was cheerily chatting to Joker while she waited for me.

"You're Jeff Moreau, aren't you? I didn't know you left the Alliance?"

"Only to back Shepard up, ma'am. Where we were going, he needed a good pilot."

"Well I'm very glad that you did. Thank you."

"You're welcome, ma'am."

Jack and I reached the cockpit. "Captain Shepard. Welcome aboard the Normandy," I said formally. I'd have saluted since my mom outranked me (or did) but I was no longer in the Alliance.

My mum turned away from Joker. And dispensing with the formalities, she threw her arms around me and gave me a hug.

"Hello Jack. Oh Lord, I'm so glad you're safe."

I hugged her back. And for a moment I forgot I was Captain Shepard, Spectre and former commander in the Humanity Systems Alliance. I forgot that I was a rogue Cerberus operative on the run. I forgot about the Reapers. I was a kid who hadn't seen his mom in a long time.

"Hi mom. It's good to see you."

Hannah smiled. She noticed Jack, who was standing off to one side, her hands behind her back. "And you must be Jack. Those were some impressive flying skills you displayed back there. Thank you for saving my son." She took Jack's hand and shook it. The look of surprise on Jack's face was something to see, but she quickly recovered.

"This way, we can talk in my cabin," I said, leading her across the bridge. Jack followed me, almost without thinking and Hannah noticed.

"Are you joining us Jack?"

"She is, mom. You see, Jack and I are a couple now."

I've heard stories about how my mother could remain unfazed even in the fiercest of firefights. She'd stared down slaver fleets and geth warships without so much as a raised eyebrow. So the look of utter shock on her face was not something you'd see everyday, to put it mildly.

"But I thought...Ashley?"

"Let's talk about it in my cabin..."

Jack trailed behind us, her stare burning a hole in the back of my head.

We sat around my small coffeetable, tea cups all laid out, and I gestured for Jack to come and sit beside me. After a moment's hesitation, she did.

"So, what happened between you and Ashley?"

I explained everything. How we fell out on Horizon. How she no longer trusted me as much as she once did. Everything that happened on Earth. And now that we were still friends, but no longer together.

"I see," my mom said. She sipped from her cup. "That's a shame. I liked Ash." I felt Jack shift in her seat.

"I know mom. But things are over between us. I'm with Jack now." Inside, I prayed things would go well.

"Well I'm pleased to hear that, um, Jack," Hannah said, diplomatic as ever. And for a wonder, Jack was too.

"Jack talks a lot about you, Captain Shepard," she said. "About when he was a kid and everything." Hannah smiled.

"Yes, we do call him Jack," she said. "His father's idea, naming him John Kennedy...would you mind if I called you Jackie, dear? Less confusing, and it does fit."

"Sure," said Jack. And she was smiling too. Mentally, I let out a massive sigh of relief.

"You're not with Cerberus, are you? I know Miss Lawson was."

"Um mom, Jack – Jackie – hates Cerberus even more than I do."

"Damn right I do. Captain Shepard, they kidnapped me when I was a girl. They performed experiments on me just to see what they could do with biotics. They did other things that I don't like to talk about, even now. I hate Cerberus, and one day I'll destroy them."

My mother nodded. "Me too, Jackie. Me too. And I think you should call me Hannah."

And just like that, the rest was easy.

We talked about the things we've seen and done ever since I woke up in a Cerberus lab and found her on Purgatory. In between telling my mother everything I could remember about the Cerberus forces I'd encountered and their capabilities, we just talked about normal stuff.

"Did you actually die?" she asked at one point. "Do you remember anything?"

"No, it was like being knocked out. I don't remember a thing."

Jack told her about how I recruited her from Purgatory and helped her lay waste to Pragia. "I'm so glad you were able to wipe that place from the map."

"Couldn't have done it without the big guy," Jack said, socking me.

"My Jack has a good heart," said my mom, as unselfconscious as ever. Jack tried not to laugh. "Still saving others?"

"I just did what I needed to do," I said, shrugging. "If anything, you and dad showed me the way.

After a while I put my arm around Jack's waist. It just felt nice and natural. And my mother didn't seem to mind.

"What about the Alliance?" she asked finally, the question I had been thinking about for a long time. "We still need you. You've been a soldier all your life. Don't you want to come back?"

"I don't know. I really don't. They cut me loose when I needed them the most. I'll never join Cerberus, but I don't know if I'm ready to go back to the Alliance. We need to stop the Reapers and they're not focused on that. If I'm roped back in the chain of command, I might not be able to do the things I need to."

"I understand," said my mom, with a sigh. "But if you ever want to come back, don't hesitate. The Alliance needs you, Jack. And sometimes you need to overlook what's been done wrong to you in order to do your duty."

"I know that mom."

"Good. I'm proud of you. I've always been proud of you, but you've achieved something wonderful in the short time you've been back. All those lives saved, the colonists. All without official Alliance, or Council backing. Millions of people owe you their lives. Never forget that."

I grinned. "Shepards always get the job done."

"Hell yes we do. I'll let Hackett know that you're not coming back, at least for a while. But I think he still has one or two jobs he'd like you to do though."

"I don't mind. Anything I can do to help."

"Jackie? I have something of an idea. Would you like to assist the Alliance's Biotic Acclimatisation and Training programme? We need people like you around to train our young biotic-capable people and teach them how to use their powers. Also, we need someone like you to make sure it never becomes something twisted like Cerberus's experiments."

I hadn't thought about that idea, but now it made perfect sense. Jack was probably the most powerful biotic around, and she could definitely teach the students at BAT a trick or two. Plus, they'd probably appreciate somebody who's lived with her powers as long as Jack has. And having her around the project would serve as a constant reminder to the people working on it never to go beyond the boundaries of ethics when dealing with the biotics. They'd have a living, breathing example right under their noses, even if Jack wouldn't take too kindly to being made an example.

It was a simple, elegant proposal. And a little sneaky. So very Hannah Shepard. She used to guilt me into doing my homework the same way.

"I'll think about it," said Jack. She looked surprised. But she didn't look like she hated the idea either. "Doesn't that mean I'll have to leave the Normandy?"

"For a while, maybe."

"I'm not leaving Jack."

"Keep it in mind. I'll make sure there's a place for you if you ever want it."

I glanced at the clock and was shocked to discover we had spent hours talking.

"Mom, would you like to stay for dinner?"

A while later I had invited almost all of the crew for a nice sit-down dinner. Hannah sat beside Dr Chakwas and we broke out the good wine. She remembered Tali and Garrus from the Battle of the Citadel, and spoke at length to Miranda and Jacob about their defection from Cerberus. It was a very pleasant evening, with Jack beside me and even joining in the conversation.

When it was over I escorted my mother up to the bridge to say goodbye.

"It's been wonderful to see you Jack. I love you."

"I love you too mom."

"Take care of that girl. She could wear something warmer, but she needs you around. And I know you. When you fall in love you do it head-over-heels. She'll keep you safe."

"So you don't mind me dating her?"

"Of course not. You're a grown man now, and a captain of your own ship to boot. You can make your own decisions. What I want to know is whether the two of you love each other."

"We do."

"Then there's nothing to worry about. Take care, son. I'll see you soon."

Slowly, deliberately, I gave my mother a formal salute. She grinned, and returned it.

"Goodbye, Captain Shepard. It's been a pleasure."

"Likewise, Captain Shepard."

EDI opened the airlock, and Hannah got into her shuttle that would take her back to the _Orizaba. _Jack came up to me and put her head on my shoulder.

"I like her."

"She likes you too."

"You think?"

"She just said."

"And she isn't just saying it to make you feel better."

"Nah. She wouldn't do something like that."

"So what now?"

"We keep flying."

"Is that it?"

"It's enough. Till the Reapers come."


	28. Joyride

**Chapter 28 - Joyride**

Shore leave, those two magic words that every marine and ensign endured hell for. Charge an enemy gun placement? Hold the line against a horde of monsters? Aye aye, sir. Just let me have my damn shore leave when it's all over.

I rated the officers I served under according to their policy on shore leave, back when I was a lonely marine. Officers who were picky over who got some precious few hours off-ship were in severe danger of 'accidental' friendly fire, had they ever stepped onto a battlefield. I didn't forget it when I became an officer myself. Even though I was no longer Alliance, I made sure that the crew got their R n R. After some time spent flying around and blowing up merc bases for fun, Miranda came up and handed me a classified information file that Kasumi had hacked out of Sombra Corp back on Earth.

"It makes for some interesting reading, wouldn't you say?"

I went over the details quickly. I caught the references to the Shadow Broker and distant planets and knew immediately this was something Liara would kill to get her hands on. The Liara T'soni I knew was a shy, quiet and thoughtful archaeologist who felt more comfortable around long-dead fossils than real live people. The Liara T'soni I met on Ilium was someone else entirely. Someone who made death threats like it was part of a shopping list. Someone obsessed with finding the Shadow Broker. It frightened and saddened me a little. But then again, that was the price I paid for leaving everything I knew for two years.

Still Liara and I had parted with the understanding that if I happened to encounter any leads on the Shadow Broker, she would be notified immediately. I couldn't send this over the extranet, no matter how secure the connection.

"Thank you Miri. Could you please tell Joker to chart a course to Ilium?"

"Of course."

After she left, I flicked the intercom.

"Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We are currently en route to Ilium, where you will enjoy no less than three days of shore leave. Shepard out."

I smiled at the faint cheers I could hear reverberating around the _Normandy. _I decided to go find Jack. She had gone down to the cargo hold with Grunt for some reason. Grunt was at one end of the cargo hold, Jack at the other. He let out a bloodcurdling roar and rushed at Jack, head lowered. She threw out her arms and was enveloped in a shimmering blue ball of biotic energy. Grunt slammed into the shield with a crash that shook the whole Normandy. They both laughed fit to burst.

Jack let out a yell of delight when she saw me and took a running leap at me. I held out my hands to catch her, but instead of giving me a hug she laughed and flipped me in the air with a biotic field.

"Oi!"

"Hahaha! You look ridiculous!"

"Put me down Jack!"

She did, and before I had time to catch my breath she gave me a huge kiss. "Shore leave huh? Do we have time to get our own room? The things I will do to you, Mister Captain King-of-the-boyscouts Shepard..." she whispered sultrily in my ear.

Grunt had lumbered up. "Shepard! Why are we going to Ilium?"

"I figured we could use the downtime. Besides, I have a new lead on the Shadow Broker. I'll pay Liara a call once we're there."

Jack drew back. "Huh. You're going to see her?"

I gave her a peck on the cheek. "Strictly business, darling. Liara's a good friend, but she's just a friend."

"It'd better stay that way. Otherwise I'd show her who the best damn biotic in the galaxy is."

"You are, Jack," rumbled Grunt.

"Thanks you big ugly lizard. On your feet, Captain. I was just giving Grunt a little practice on how to face an asari commando, but two on one will make it interesting."

"You and me against Grunt? I know he's the perfect krogan and all but it wouldn't be fair."

"Who the hell said anything about you and I teaming up? Leatherface? It's me and you against your Battlemaster," Jack said with an evil grin. Grunt responded in kind, looking truly crocodilian.

"Now wait a minute..."

"Round one; FIGHT!"

After it was over Grunt offered to bring down Dr Chakwas but I assured him it wasn't necessary. The bruises would heal by themselves. Looking happy as a clam at high tide he went back up to his room.

"You pulled your punches, didn't you," accused Jack. I was lying down on the cargo hold floor, and she was resting her head on my stomach.

"I did no such thing."

"There's no way we kicked your ass that easily. Not even two on one."

"Alright, alright, I let Grunt win. So what? He'll be happy about it for weeks."

"Damn it Jack, every time I think you couldn't be more of a big blue boyscout you go and prove me wrong."

I reached for her hand. "It's all an act. I'm secretly an indoctrinated Cerberus double agent."

Instead of taking my hand she poked me in the ribs. They had healed, after a fashion, but they were sore enough to make me yell. "Don't joke about things like that, or I'll kill you. So are you going straight to Liara once we touch down?"

"Yes. And I want you to come with me."

"Why?"

"So you can see for yourself there's nothing going on between us. And once I've dropped off the intel, we can go find that hotel room you were talking about."

Jack squeezed my hand. "Promises, Jack."

**Ilium**

Ilium, Gateway to the Terminus Systems. Ilium, where everything you could think of could be bought and sold, and a few things you didn't know existed. Ilium, where the only law was 'don't get caught.'

Flashing lights in intense shades of lilac and purple and bumblebee yellow almost hurt the eyes if you stared at them too long. There was never a moment's peace and quiet in Ilium – too many people chasing the next high, the next deal and the next good time. I wasn't a fan of the casinos and noisy bars and clubs, but I knew not all of the crew shared my tastes. If I kept taking them to the mountains and forests and deserted beaches I preferred, I'd have a mutiny on my hands.

"See ya in a bit, Captain," said Ken as he left the ship. "Mighty good of you to stop by on Ilium for a while."

"My pleasure. What will you and Gabby be up to?"

"Oh you know. Bit of this, bit of that sir," said Gabby. She and Ken looked at each other and smiled.

"Have fun you two." I patted my pockets, reassuring myself that all my weapons were there. I wasn't going out into Ilium unarmed.

"So Captain, you're going to take your handgun, shotgun, assault rifle and sniper rifle with you for a little social visit to Liara's place?" asked Joker. He was wearing a big orange Hawaiian shirt and a straw hat.

"Oh crap that reminds me, I forgot my submachine gun..."

"Are you planning on starting a war? I'd like to know if a war's going to break out. I could use the head start. Granted it's not like I could run any faster, but at least I'll die somewhat closer to the _Normandy._"

"If there is violence Jeff, you could contact me and I will come rescue you," piped up EDI.

"EDI, what are the chances of the captain starting a war on Ilium?"

"Oh come on!"

"Seventy eight point six per cent, according to the current geo-political situation on Ilium and cross-referencing with Captain Shepard's propensity for violence."

"That can't be right."

"That was a joke."

"Thank you EDI. I am not some kind of war-crazed maniac -"

"It is actually seventy four point three percent."

Joker cracked up. Still chortling, he shuffled off the ship.

"Was that joke successful? Jeff seemed to think so but I have observed his sense of humour is somewhat unorthodox and may not be acceptable to others."

"Yeah yeah, it was a total riot. Alright EDI, lock it up. Sure I couldn't get you a souvenir or two?"

"I have no need for such fripperies, Captain."

"If you say so. Jackie! Come on up honey, we're leaving."

Jack emerged from the Armory. She was wearing the tightest blue jeans money could buy, boots, and nothing else but a red bikini top and sunglasses, showing off every inch of her inked skin. A Carnifex handgun rested openly in a holster on her right hip.

"Pick up your jaw off the floor," she smirked. I closed my mouth with a snap and she took my arm.

"Let's go meet your friend. Then you and I go find a room and break every bit of furniture in it."

"Aye aye, ma'am."

**xxxx**

We made our way through the crowded streets of Ilium to the little office Liara occupied, not far from the spaceport. Jack's...minimalist...sense of style turned a few heads, but less than on any other planet. Ilium was simply too fond of their garish fashions and loud clothing to be overly concerned with my biotic girl.

"Ooh look at that restaurant! Five kinds of steak!"

"Maybe later."

"Check out that tattoo parlour! I could use more ink."

"I've seen every inch of you, babe. There isn't enough room – ouch!"

"There is if you look real hard. Hey that bar looks way more exciting than the one I crashed in Singapore. What say we go there and trash the place?"

"Work first, fun later."

Jack gave me a look. "What the fuck's your problem?"

"Nothing."

"Jack, I know something's up."

"Alright, alright. It's Liara. When we met her while trying to chase down Thane and Samara, she seemed a little off. She wouldn't look me in the eye."

"Maybe she's planning to kill you?"

Now it was my turn to give Jack a pointed look.

"Sorry."

"Liara's a friend. But until I figure out what her game is, I'm not sure I can trust her one hundred per cent."

"I never trust anybody one hundred per cent."

"Hey, what about me?"

Jack tapped me lightly on the tip of my nose. "Only you, boyscout. Only you."

I slipped my hand around her waist. "The feeling's mutual."

The floor that Liara's office was on was unusually quiet, for Ilium. There didn't seem to be a lot of people around. I wondered if she paid extra for the privacy. Probably did.

"Hello Liara?" I called through the communicator. "It's me, Jack. I'm here with uh, Jack...Su-Ze (Jack raised her arm and her fist glowed blue)...Jackie (she let her arm drop)."

"Shepard? It's good to see you again. Please, come in."

We walked into Liara's office and sat down. She looked a bit more worn, a bit more tired than the eager young asari scientist I had met way back when on Therum. But if it seemed long ago to me, it was two years longer for Liara. Who knows what happened in those two years. There was something she was keeping from me. I knew that almost instinctively. Something in the guarded way she looked at me and chose her words before she spoke, so different from my Jackie.

But her smile seemed genuine enough, and her tone was a bit more light-hearted than the one she used on the poor sap who wasn't giving her the information she needed.

"What can I do for you?"

"You know the Shadow Broker? Mysterious, murderous shadowy figure..."

"Yes, of course."

"Kasumi helped me retrieve some Cerberus files back on Earth. They're related to the Shadow Broker. I think it can help you pinpoint the bastard on a map. Want them?"

"Absolutely! I had no idea Cerberus was even close to locating him...please, let me see what you've got."

I handed over the datapad I brought along. Liara took it and accessed the data. A salarian in armour appeared on screen, captured by anonymous vid-feed.

"It looks like a leaked transmission between Shadow Broker operatives," Liara breathed. "Some hints as to the location and...it's about Feron! He's still alive!"

Feron appeared to be a drell. He looked kinda like Thane, but maybe it was just my racist human tendencies.

"Who's Feron?" asked Jack.

"He was a friend. He helped me recover Shepard's body from the Shadow Broker."

Jack's lip curled. "Why did the Shadow Broker want his broken-ass corpse?"

"He was going to sell you to the Collectors, but Feron and I stopped him. Feron sacrificed himself to save me."

Another piece of the puzzle fell into place.

"So you rescued me?" I cut in.

"Yes."

"Then how did I end up in a Cerberus lab with some technician trying to pull my plug?"

"They gave me intel to help recover you. They arranged for me to meet with Feron in the first place."

Liara looked away and stared at the ground.

"After I got out, I gave you to them. They said they could bring you back. I thought...I thought if there was even one chance they weren't lying, I'd never forgive myself if I was wrong."

So that was it. She felt guilty about handing me to Cerberus. I glanced at Jack, who was leaning back in her chair, arms folded. No prizes for guessing what she thought of it. But on the other hand...

Without Cerberus I'd still be dead with no way of letting people know about the Reapers. Without Cerberus, Harbinger could have swallowed every single human colony out there. I owed Liara. Big time.

"You kept me out of the Collectors' hands. Without your help I couldn't have come back. Thank you."

The smile on Liara's face seemed to light up the room. That was the Liara I remembered.

"Oh, Shepard. I didn't know how you'd feel when Cerberus restored you. If you had felt betrayed, or..."

"Liara, it's ok."

Jack made a dismissive noise. "They were lucky. They got it right once. Once."

"They brought back the Commander. And now they're giving me the chance to find Feron," replied Liara. "After two years, I hadn't even dreamed of a chance to find him again."

I raised an eyebrow. "Sounds like you and this Feron chap were close."

"It's funny. He betrayed me more than once. He was double-dealing for Cerberus, for the Shadow Broker, but in the end he sacrificed himself for me. I owe him."

"Any friend of yours is a friend of mine, Liara," I declared. "What's our next step?"

"I don't know. I need to prepare, to think. I'm going home, I've had a long day."

She began gathering her things, and headed towards the door.

"You okay?"

"I've spent two years plotting revenge. Now I have the chance to make it a rescue mission. I can't fail."

"Let me help. We could drop by your apartment later." Jack nodded assent.

"You'd be willing to help?" Liara asked her.

"Hey, sounds like Cerberus would like this guy dead. I'd go out of my way to spit in their eye. Besides, someone needs to cover the big lug's back."

"Okay. Hopefully I'll have a plan soon. I'll call you when I'm ready. Thank you, both of you." She left her office, her steps as elegant and as graceful as any Matriarch.

"Alright! More fun," said Jack, smacking her palm with a fist.

"Thanks for helping out."

"I was getting bored anyway. The chance to smack around some heads sounds fun. Besides, if I'm with you, Miss Blue Tightass over there won't have the chance to make a move on you."

I smirked. "You know me, Jackie. I'm a one biotic man."

"Good. Now let's go somewhere fun. And then that room you promised."

**Nos Astra Regency Hotel**

**Night**

It was later. Liara didn't call, so I figured we had some free time. The spaceport, hell the whole of Ilium didn't have the places where I could do the things I liked to do, so I let Jack do whatever she wanted to do. We hit the bars, got smashed, smashed other people, and tumbled into a hotel room so late it was early. Jack demonstrated the usefulness of biotic abilities when it came to against-the-wall sex, and I had to sneak the bellhop an extra fifty credits after the other guests complained about the screaming.

Jack was sprawled on the bed, snoring away. I couldn't get to sleep, so I sat up and reviewed everything I knew about the Shadow Broker on my Omni-tool. It wasn't a long list. Despite the cliches, he really was as mysterious as he seemed. I didn't like walking blind into a fight, but I didn't have a choice. I had to help Liara.

A soft ping from my inbox got my attention. Frowning, I opened it up.

FROM: DrSolus

TO: CPTShep

_Hello Captain._

_Acquired new information from some tests I've been running. Potentially serious. Concerns your relationship with Jack. Would like to discuss in private._

_Dr Mordin Solus_

Concerns my relationship with Jack? Ok there was that time where Mordin had offered 'advice' on how to use biotics for 'greater stimulation' as he put it, but he was joking. What could this be about?

I sent back a reply, telling him to meet me at the bar downstairs. I slid out of bed, pulled on my jeans and a shirt, and looked at Jack. She was so beautiful. There was nothing in the world I wouldn't do for her. For us. And if Mordin had something for me, I'd better go see what it was about.

Before I left, I wrote a quick note saying I went down to buy a few things, in case she woke up. I didn't want her to worry. Then I left the room to meet the mad doctor.

Someone had persuaded Mordin to remove his lab coat while on shore leave, and it was very strange to see him in a leaf green suit, the form fitting kind that salarians favoured. He was sipping on something with a pineapple chunk in it, while scanning the glass with his Omni-tool at the same time.

"Mordin!"

"Captain Shepard. Good to see you."

I sat down. "You running tests on margaritas now?"

"Checking for poisons. Even with secretive nature of STG work, can't be too careful."

The Omni-tool pinged and glowed green, and Mordin slurped up the rest of the drink with every sign of enjoyment. I rubbed my neck.

"Doc, you do realise it's 4 in the morning."

"Apologies. Salarians only need one hour of sleep per standard day. Have been combing Nos Astra for rare medical components. Found most of what's needed. Now. About the reason for the meeting. Grave. Disturbing. Concerns Jack."

"I'm listening," I said, and tried not to let the worry show on my face.

"Have run several tests as part of routine medical checkup. Results disturbing. Jack's neural implants are contributing to mental and physical degradation. Cerberus methods were...messy. Barbaric. Using a hatchet instead of scalpel. Went with brute force. Little concern for test subject."

"Slow down, doc. What do you mean by 'mental and physical' degradation?"

I sat there and listened as Mordin explained everything. How Jack's biotic powers were slowly killing her. How she would be lucky to see fifty. How she would probably spend the last few years of her life in a semi-comatose state, unable to move or even talk. Mordin was a good scientist. He didn't leave out a single fact. He spelled everything out in methodical, painful detail.

"And this isn't curable?" I asked quietly.

Mordin inhaled sharply. "Not with current technology. Might be able to develop cure in future. Science marches ever on."

I thought about the full impact of Mordin's words. Humans could live to about a hundred and twenty these days. Genetically modified or cybernetic enhanced people like Miranda and I could reach one fifty. Jack wouldn't even see a third of that. Could I handle that? Could I stay by her side while her brain slowly broke down, until she couldn't even dress herself, or remember my name, or the fact that she loved me?

What would she say to this?

"Why tell me, doc? Why not her?"

"Apologies. Aware that doctor-patient confidentiality is sacred. But you care for Jack. Also her commander. Wanted to let you know in case she exerts herself even more. Would be happy to discuss again with Jack. Would like to request protective shielding, however."

"I...thank you Mordin. Let me think this over. Go have another drink. On me."

"Thank you Captain. Will visit laboratory supply sheds later. Many interesting things to be bought on Ilium."

I put some money on the table and walked away. I bought a pack of cigarettes for Jack, some cigars for me, and a bottle of whiskey before going back up.

Jack still hadn't woken up. I set down the things on the dresser and sat down in an armchair facing the bed. I looked at Jack for a long time. Then I wiped my eyes and stared up at the ceiling.

Why did God have to be so cruel? To give me the love of my life, then snatch her away after a few short decades. And with the last few years of that trapped in a living nightmare. I don't think I could handle something like this. I was Commander Shepard, hero of the galaxy. Captain of the Normandy. I faced down Reapers and lived. But something like this might be too much for me to take.

Finally I went over and kissed Jack on the head. She stirred a little.

"Jack? What's wrong?"

I slid into bed beside her and wrapped my arms around her. She made a little noise of pleasure and snuggled closer to me.

"It's nothing. I love you. Go to sleep," I said, with my voice almost breaking. But as sleepy as she was, Jack didn't catch it.

"Love you too, boyscout," she yawned. "Night."

**Liara's Apartment**

"Hey!"

"Seal off those trace samples and get them to the lab..."

"Hey!"

"We've got multiple shots fired, techs are going over the place now."

"Somebody deal with the civilian..."

"I'm sorry sir, this area is sealed off. You need to step back."

"What the fuck is going on here?"

I stared at the scene in utter disbelief. Jack and I had waited for a while, and when Liara didn't call I began to worry. Eventually we decided to head over to her apartment anyway. It was huge, far bigger than the little shoeboxes most people on Ilium had to live in. She had obviously been doing well for herself. Tastefully decorated in muted colours, with fountains in the wide open spaces and artwork on the walls, as was expected of someone like her.

But she wasn't there. Instead of my friend, there was an Ilium police team combing every inch of the apartment for clues. Barriers blocked our way.

"Someone tried to kill your friend, Commander Shepard."

An asari commando in blue heavyplate walked down from the second floor. From the way she moved, it was clear she was in charge. I was proven right a moment later when she dismissed the police team, and they disappeared without a word.

"So you know who I am." I didn't bother complicating things by insisting on my title as captain.

"Of course. Everyone in the galaxy knows who you are. Tela Vasir, Special Tactics and Recon."

"A Spectre?"

"Just as you are, Commander. I assume you had business with your friend this evening?" She had distinctive purple facial markings that hinted at a turian father. Her face was rounder and at first glance more innocent-looking than Liara's, but her eyes were harder, her tone colder.

"Liara was following a lead on the Shadow Broker."

"The Shadow Broker? Dangerous enemy to have," she mused. "See that window? Someone took a shot at her less than half an hour ago. She stuck around for four minutes before she left. Must have been doing something really important."

"Shadow Broker business is always important."

"Agreed. You know T'soni better than I do. Any idea where she could have hidden her back-ups?"

"Let me take a look around."

"And your...companion?"

Jack drew back her lips, revealing her teeth.

"I'm with Shepard. Get in my way and end up dead," she hissed. Tela laughed.

"Fiery! I like you."

Before Jack could nail her with a biotic blast, I pulled her away up the stairs.

"Fucking bitch..."

"Simmer down, we might need her help to find Liara. I hope she's alright."

"She's tough, right? Don't worry, Jack. We'll find her."

"Thanks. You go take a look at her desk, I'll check around her bed."

Liara's influence touched every part of the apartment. A painting of Ilos, the mysterious Prothean planet hung above her bed. A picture on her bedside table caught my eye. It was of the first _Normandy, _flying serenely against a starry backdrop. I picked it up, and to my surprise it changed in my hands. Now it showed a picture of an archaeological dig site.

"She did leave a message," observed Vasir. She was standing behind me, and it occurred to me that I didn't hear her coming.

"It must have been keyed to recognise your bio-signature, Commander."

"This dig site is Prothean. Maybe it has something to do with all the Prothean artifacts scattered around the place."

"Worth a shot."

I scanned all the Prothean sculptures lying here and there, and it eventually revealed a vidfeed from a salarian named Sekat, and his conversation with Liara. He talked about 'narrowing it down to a cluster, maybe even a system.' The Shadow Broker.

"Baria Frontiers, at the Dracon Trade Centre."

"I know where it is," said Vasir. "My car's outside."

"Let's go," I said. Jack trailed after us, the air around her shimmering a faint blue, her eyes drilling a hole into the back of Tela Vasir's head.

**xxxx**

"You know, I think I'm going to write this down in my diary."

"Later, Jackie."

"I don't even have a diary. That's something Cerberus cheerleader bitches and shy quarian-next-door types would do. But you know, I'm gonna make a special exception for this. I am going to the next shop I see, walk in, and buy a diary just so I can write down 'Dear Diary: Today, I was right and the great Commander Shepard fucked up.'"

"Can we have this conversation later please?"

"Dear Goddess, please keep me safe from harm," babbled Liara in the seat next to me. Both her hands were over her eyes.

"I told you, didn't I," Jack went on, ignoring me. "I remember saying 'watch out for that Spectre bitch Jack, she's bad news.' Didn't I say that?"

"You did."

"And what did you say?"

"She's a Spectre, she can be trusted."

"And who was right?"

"You were."

"Thank you."

"TRUCK!" screamed Liara, peeking from between her fingers. I nudged the wheel and our skycar banked slightly to the left. We missed smashing into the truck at 500 KPH by a matter of inches.

"Oh dear Goddess if I die today let it be quick."

"Relax Liara," I said calmly. "I got this."

"TRUCK!"

"Another one?"

We banked again and zoomed forward. Tela Vasir was in her own car, a little way ahead of us. I had hijacked a nearby taxi and the three of us were flying high in the skies of Ilium, weaving our way in and out of its towering skyscrapers and endless lines of traffic.

"That's your thing, isn't it? You always trust someone in a uniform," said Jack.

"Well you automatically don't trust anyone like that."

"You have got to start listening to me more often. Whenever I get a bad feeling about someone, I'm usually right."

"Can you two please have this conversation another time?" pleaded Liara.

"Liara, I'm right aren't I?" asked Jack. "The Commander has a big issue with trust. Not that he doesn't trust anyone, he trusts them too quickly."

Vasir raced through a construction site. Without thinking I accelerated after her.

"Oh, no."

I nudged the wheel here and there, the slightest miscalculation would have left us a burning wreck a long, long way down."

"Calm down doc," said Jack. "Although Jack's too quick to salute someone in a uniform, he's got this."

"You weren't around when he was in charge of driving the Mako!" screamed Liara. "We drove up mountains! MOUNTAINS! And then jumped off again!"

Jack laughed. "I'd have paid to see that!"

We burst through the construction site and out into open sky again.

"TRAFFIC!"

"Well be fine," I said nonchalantly. Tela Vasir had that data, and she made me look like an idiot. She had also blown up half of Dracon Trade Centre, killed innocent civilians and tried to kill Liara. I wasn't about to let her get away.

"Hey, that Spectre bitch dropped something out of her car. It's glowing red."

"She's dropping proximity charges!"

"I noticed."

We barely avoided clipping the first proximity charge, and then again. But now I had some warning it was child's play to avoid them. Suddenly two missiles streaked above us, slamming into the wall ahead of us. One of Vasir's friends, no doubt.

"She's got reinforcements!"

"What kind of guns does this thing have?"

Liara looked at me as though I'd lost my mind. "It's a taxi! It has a fare meter!"

I looked over my shoulder. "Jack, if I open a window do you think you could lean out and take a shot at the bugger behind us?"

She shrugged. "I could try."

"You humans are all crazy!"

We turned into a highway, racing along at speeds that would have shattered glass windows. Vasir caused a collision between two huge tankers, which would have surely killed us had I not pulled sharply over to the road shoulder.

"There we go, nice and easy."

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

I chuckled. Then something caught my eye.

"Hey Jack! There's a giant wanted poster of you on that building!"

"Fuck me, so it is," she breathed. "Old pic though. That was back when I was nabbed for the hanar space station thing."

"Ooh I'm dating one of Ilium's most wanted. Maybe I should turn you in for the reward money."

"Just try it, moron."

"Of course, I can be persuaded otherwise. How about I handcuffyou and let's see where we go from there..."

"Mm I like where this is going."

"Can the two of you PLEASE have _this_ conversation another time?" begged poor Liara.

"Sorry doc."

Vasir's friend ran headlong into another tanker and promptly careened out of the sky, the entire carriage on fire.

"A head on collision at this speed..."

"Yeah, I hear those can be bad for you."

"Watch out!"

Vasir had to brake momentarily to avoid crashing into a huge truck, and we caught up with her. Grinning, I yanked the steering wheel hard and smacked the entire taxi into her car.

Jack let out a whoop of delight, Liara was praying out loud. I did it again, and again, and finally ruptured something, sending her spinning out of control and crash landing far below on the roof of some hotel.

"She crashed on Azure!"

"Then that's our next stop."

I set the taxi down gently at the nearest landing zone, light as a feather and popped open the doors. Jack bounded out, ready for a fight. Liara took one wobbling step and promptly fell on her hands and knees.

"You alright?"

She was sweaty and flushed, but managed to stand up again.

"Jack, if we live through this remind me never, ever to go anywhere with you driving ever again."

"Sure thing doc," I said cheerily. "Now let's go get us one mass-murdering Spectre."

NOTE:

If you read through the codex regarding Jack's L5 biotic implants it says that in the long term it will cause both mental and physical degradation, akin to Alzheimer's. I've always wondered what a relationship like that would entail and it's something that will be explored in future chapters. Shepard's a strong guy, but can be stand up to this?

I'll be covering both Lair of the Shadow Broker and Arrival before ME3. I've been impressed by the scope and scale of the third game and life in wartime will be something else that I'd like to explore. Thanks for reading, and kindly review!

P.S. Jack Shepard's a normal person unlike in the games. His friends actually call him by his first name. He calls Jack 'Jackie' cos his mum recently suggested it, but in narration she's referred to as Jack because that's still how he thinks of her.


	29. Closer Than Friends, More Than Lovers

**Chapter 29 – Closer Than Friends, More Than Lovers**

**Azure Hotel**

**Nos Astra Spaceport**

**Ilium**

Every graduate of the Alliance's N7 programme is expected to lead. It doesn't automatically come with a commission, and neither does the N7 select only officers. A private could just as easily be recommended as a Major. But when people see the N7 logo, they assume you can lead.

My experience in N7 was unique, as was the case with every graduate. I might get around to telling you the story of my final exam, so to speak. But every N7 comes out trained how to lead a small, elite fire-team, able to punch behind enemy lines and survive against overwhelming odds. In short, it was the best preparation I could have asked for before going up against the likes of Saren and Harbinger.

In addition to learning how to think like an officer, every N7 eventually develops their own unique style of operations. That's the gift of the programme, they give you the freedom to develop your own way of doing things. We don't follow the manual because there isn't one, we're expected to write our own. This results in every N7 being slightly different. One N7 might specialise in stealth and demolitions. Another might go for underwater operations. Still others don't focus on combat at all, instead preferring diplomacy and high-stakes negotiations. Anything goes, as long as it got the job done.

I favoured a degree of showmanship. I know a lot of the Alliance brass thought I could use a bit more subtlety. But after the Skyllian Blitz and becoming a household name, I reasoned there was no way I could remain black ops and under cover. So I decided to use my fame instead of running away from it. The operations I ran made use of overwhelming force and firepower. Other N7s were the scalpel, I was a battering ram. And with every successful mission, my name and reputation grew to the point where pirates and slavers would rather surrender than risk having me airdrop in on them. I suppose that's the reason why I was considered for Spectrehood in the first place.

After the Illusive Man gave me my own team, I worked hard at turning them into my team. Everybody I picked up quickly learned how I liked to do things. Hard and fast, with lots of explosions. No one caught on more quickly than Jack.

Fighting side by side more times than I could count, we had developed a certain style every time we went into battle. Jack was even more of a battering ram than I was, so she ripped into our enemies with first contact using her biotic shockwave. Once they were dazed and scattered, I'd mop up with quick precise shots that made sure those who went down stayed dead. Against a much larger force, like say a Collector attack, I switched to using the Revenant machine gun. Then Jack and I would provide the destructive wave, while someone else like Garrus or Thane would do the precise sniping.

We'd faced down armies. A handful of mercs didn't stand a chance.

"She's very powerful," muttered Liara, crouching down behind a car next to me. Jack was a little bit further ahead of us, wreaking havoc.

"That she is," I said, ejecting a thermal clip and snapping a fresh one in.

"Is she always like this?"

"Pretty much."

A merc sailed above our heads and crashed through a windshield. Jack was laughing. "Come on! COME ON!"

"Jack, she's not the most stable person around."

"I know that Liara." I ducked out of cover, fired a shot. A merc choked and died. I ducked back down. "But then again, neither are we. Plus her biotics are as good as yours."

"So I noticed."

Another shockwave brought a wall crashing down. Suddenly the mercs stopped firing. I risked a look. Jack was standing in the middle of the Azure hotel parking lot, breathing heavily. Bodies were scattered around her.

"All done?"

"All dead while you were hiding back there."

"Alright, let's go."

**xxxx**

"Please don't kill me!" screamed the asari in the hotel room when we barged in. "I'll stop dancing, I'll say the mantras every day, I'll go to the Citadel and get a better job, I swear! Please just don't kill me!"

"We're not going to kill you," huffed Jack. "Just tell us if you saw an asari in blue armour come by here."

But the asari had screamed louder upon seeing Jack and dove behind the sofa. I stepped in.

"Ma'am? I'm Captain Shepard, Citadel Spectre. I'm chasing down a dangerous criminal and I need your help."

"She went that way," said the asari, pointing. "Please don't hurt me."

"We won't hurt you. I'll send someone up to help. Liara? Call someone to help this young lady, would you?" Liara glared at me, but did as asked.

Jack was staring at a large vid screen that covered most of one wall. It showed a bunch of asari dancers wearing next to nothing dancing in an extremely suggestive manner.

"Uh, Liara? What kind of a hotel is this?"

"Azure is a luxury resort with an...exotic edge," she said. "Azure is slang for a part of the asari body in some areas of Ilium."

"Where?"

"Mainly the lower reaches, near the bottom."

"I meant where on the asari body."

"So did I."

Jack broke out laughing. "Well well. Have you trimmed the hedge in Azure lately, Liara? Do you even have a hedge?"

Liara looked to me for an explanation I sure as hell wasn't willing to give.

"Come on, let's check out Vasir's car," I said. Jack pouted.

Her crashed skycar was a flaming wreck on a balcony near the hotel room. A trail of blood led away from it.

"Hell, even Zaeed could follow this yellow brick road," muttered Jack. We ran through what seemed like dozens of rooms, eyes peeled of a hint of the shining purple blood trail.

"She's lost a lot of blood," said Liara. "She'll surely be weak."

"Let's not get our hopes up."

There was an alfresco restaurant outside, with elegant white cloths on the table, candles in wine bottles, sharp dressed waiters and waitresses. The kind of classy, quiet place you'd go for a nice night out. The kind of place that surely had never seen a limping, bleeding, wounded asari Spectre before.

Liara drew her submachine gun and aimed carefully. "It's over Vasir! You can't run any longer."

She turned around, eyes wide with anger. She glowed blue with biotic energy, and in the blink of an eye she had a waitress in her grip.

"Vanguard charge," whispered Liara. I nodded grimly.

"Hey you! What's your name?"

"Mariana," she whimpered.

"Mariana, you want to live, don't you? Tell those people that you want to live."

"Please..." she said, looking helplessly at me.

"We'll get you out of here safely, Mariana," I said as calmly as I could.

"All you had to do was walk away Shepard. Now it gets ugly." She laid the barrel of her pistol against the side of Mariana's head.

"Please...I have a son..."

"A son? I hope he gets to see you again. I heard losing a parent is horrific for a child. Scars them for life," Vasir said mockingly.

"You fucking bitch," snarled Jack.

"I'm going to end you Vasir," Liara said quietly. But I knew that tone. Liara didn't like fighting, but she was perfectly capable of tearing Vasir apart with her bare hands if it came down to it right now.

"It's okay Liara, we'll handle this." I said, my voice steady.

"You want Mariana's little boy to grow up without a mommy Shepard? Thermal clips and power cells on the ground. Now."

I wondered what the hell to do next. And then it hit me.

"We'll handle this, the usual way," I repeated. "Is that it Vasir?" I added, as casually as I could. It worked. Vasir looked confused.

"What?"

"Vasir, I sacrificed hundreds of human lives to save the Council, a group of people whom I really don't like very much. I unleashed the rachni on the galaxy because I felt like it. So for your sake, I hope your escape plan doesn't hinge on me refusing to shoot one damn hostage!"

"You're bluffing!"

"Now, Jackie."

A huge stone table smacked into Tela Vasir's head, sending her flying into a fountain. Mariana broke free and ran for her life.

"Thanks."

"No problemo."

"I actually thought you were serious there for a moment, Jack," Liara said. She sounded a little frightened.

"Jackie knows whenever I say 'the usual way', it means I distract them while she moves heavy objects around."

Jack smirked. "Hell yeah. Comes in handy more often than you'd think."

Vasir erupted screaming from the fountain. Her body was bathed in biotic energy, and she looked enraged.

"I'LL KILL YOU SHEPARD!"

**xxxx**

I dived behind a nearby wall and paused for a moment to curse Council Spectre Tela Vasir with every single profanity, epithet and vulgarity known to humanity, asari, turians, salarians, and krogans. It was cut short by another biotic blast, and only by leaping clear across to another pillar did I avoid getting my brains splattered on the floor.

I'd fought biotics before, some of the Eclipse commandos weren't easy to take down. But Vasir was a different kettle of fish entirely. For a start, her biotic barriers were immensely, infuriatingly strong. I emptied entire clips at her, without doing any noticeable damage. Although this meant that she couldn't launch any substantial biotic attacks while she had her shields up, she still had one ace up her sleeve. The Vanguard Charge.

Mordin had explained the technicalities one day, when Garrus, Jacob, Zaeed and I were laid up in the infirmary after a raid on an Eclipse merc base.

"Biotic's manipulation of mass effect field in effect creates a miniaturised, localised, highly specialised mass relay across an infinitesimal distance in astronomical terms but able to phase through solid objects in an almost neglible amount of time."

We stared. Jacob eventually spoke up. "Doc, do you want to play Skyllian-5 poker or not?"

"Would be most obliged." He then proceeded to take most of what I had looted...um, earned...from the raid in the first place.

While this was running through my head, Vasir mass-shifted to a point just behind me and opened fire. My shields fizzled and died, and I managed to roll away to save myself only by the barest of inches. A wave of anger rose up in me. I hated running. But I didn't have anything capable of bringing Vasir down short of heavy weapons, and that would result in bringing down the roof on innocent civilians.

Jack intervened, as always. Mouth open in a wordless yell of fury, she aimed a shockwave that hit Vasir a glancing blow and knocked her off balance. I took advantage of the opportunity to draw a bead on her and open up with my Revenant machine gun. Vasir quickly recovered and shifted to a spot a few metres away, out of range.

"She is starting to piss me off," I growled.

"Maybe we should try a different approach," suggested Liara.

"Anything's good at this point," snapped Jack, firing off another blast that kept Vasir hiding behind cover.

"Jack, you provide a distraction."

"Ok."

"Ok."

"Wait no, I meant Jack."

"Alright."

"Alright – damnit Liara, who do you mean?"

"Biotic Jack!"

"Fine, whatever. What do you want me to do?"

"Keep sending shockwaves at her."

"I'm already doing that!" said Jack, demonstrating.

"Ok, good, good, keep it up...first chance I get, I'll create a singularity. Jack, you keep her off balance with your biotic pull. The singularity should strip away her biotic barriers piece by piece."

"What do I do?"

"Shoot her dead."

"That I can do."

Jack caught my eye and shot me a grin. "Here goes nothing!" Then she thrust both her arms forward and a massive wave of biotic energy burst from her and flooded the entire balcony. Sweat broke out on her brow and I was immediately reminded of what Mordin had said to me in the bar.

If pushed too hard...if pushed too far...was I risking my girlfriend's life? No time to think about that now. But we had to talk about it soon.

Another wave of energy set my teeth on edge as Liara created a miniature black hole out of nowhere simply by using her biotics. It was a sharp reminder of how the asari were usually peaceful, artistic, sensitive people – until you made them angry. Vasir was sent hurtling into the air and spun slowly around the singularity. She tried to reach for her gun but couldn't. Jack's biotic pull kept her arms locked in place.

"Now!"

I took aim and lit it up, firing until the muzzle flash half blinded me and the gun barrel grew hot to the touch, even through my gloved hands. Only the high-pitched whine of the thermal vents brought me to my senses. I snapped another clip into the Revenant, but Liara's hand on my arm made me stop. The gunfire had punched clear through her barriers and also her armour. Vasir was dying. It was only a matter of time.

"Damnit," she coughed weakly, crawling on her hands and knees in a pathetic attempt to escape. Liara walked over and calmly removed a datapad from her side without resistance.

"This was Sekat's. We can use this to find the Shadow Broker."

"You're all dead," rasped Vasir, slumping against a wall. "The Shadow Broker has been in power for decades. He's stronger than anything you've ever faced!"

"I've faced Reapers," I said, wiping the vengeful look off her face. "Is that why you sold out the Council to work for him though?"

"You think I betrayed the Council? Like Saren? Go to hell!" said Vasir with surprising vehemence. I had fully expected Vasir to be a traitor. Yet even now, on the verge of death, she expressed disgust at being compared to Saren Arterius.

"The Broker's given me damn good intel over the years. Intel that saved thousands of lives and kept the Citadel safe!"

I trained my gun on her, but a bit more hesitantly this time. What if she was right, what if we were only making things worse by going after the Broker?

I glanced at Liara, noted her cool gaze as she stared down Vasir, and felt my doubts wash away. I was doing this for her. For a friend. For someone who had walked through hell to find me after everyone else had given me up for lost. Least I could do was to return the favour.

"So if the Broker needs a few people to disappear, I'll pay that price without hesitation!" Vasir went on. I let out a sigh of exasperation.

"You know, you really had me for a moment there. But turns out you're just like all the rest. One of those 'Kill the few to save others' types. What you have got to learn Vasir, is that it's never a good enough excuse. There's always another way."

"Spectres get their hands dirty so the councillors don't have to," Vasir raged. "They might complain about our methods, but they make sure never to look too closely. Besides, you're with Cerberus. Do you have any idea what your terrorist friends have done?"

"I metaphorically banged the Illusive Man's wife while wearing his pyjamas and smoking his cigars, you blind idiot," I said. "Cerberus hates me more than anything in the galaxy right now."

"You want to judge me? Look in a mirror!" she yelled. "Kidnapping kids for biotic death camps, don't you dare judge – URK."

Jack had snapped her fingers, and Vasir's neck snapped at the same time. Quick and clean.

"Sorry," she said, when Liara and I looked at her. "She was getting on my tits." I grinned and holstered my gun.

"Mine too. Let's call Ilium Police, have them clean up. And then we get the heck out of here."

"What about the Shadow Broker?"

"Liara, the _Normandy, _her captain and her crew are at your disposal." I tapped my communicator. "EDI? Do you copy?"

"Yes captain. Several squad cars are en route to your current location at this moment."

"Never mind that. Contact the crew and tell them shore leave's been cut short. We're going after the Shadow Broker."

"They won't like that, sir."

"I know. But this is important. I'll make it up to them later."

"Aye aye, captain."

Liara was fiddling with the data she took from Vasir. A guttural, distorted voice blared from her omni-tool.

"**Find and eliminate T'soni. No survivors.**"

"Cheerful kind of fellow, isn't he?"

"He'll know about Vasir before too long. If he decides to kill Feron..."

I put a hand on her shoulder. Liara looked up at me with those wonderful violet eyes of hers. "We'll rescue Feron. I promise."

She smiled. "I know. You're here to help, as always."

"Don't I ever?"

"When we first met on Therum, you saved me from a geth squadron. You fought a krogan battlemaster while I just sat there and cowered."

I chuckled at the memory. "Hell of a fight. Ash saved our asses that day."

"Now you're doing it again. And I'm still leaning on you for help."

"I'd do anything for you Liara. You know that."

Jack coughed suddenly, a little less than subtle perhaps but remarkable for someone whose idea of a tactful farewell was the finger. I quickly stepped away from Liara. She turned on her heel and headed in the direction of the elevator, her tone changing from wistful to professional.

"Sekat's data will get us there, and the _Normandy's _stealth drive will make sure we're undetected. The Shadow Broker's agents are still shooting their way through Ilium. With luck they won't notice we're gone until sometime later."

"That's a little cold, these are innocent people we're talking about."

Liara rounded on me, her eyes flashing.

"You know what I mean!"

"Do I? When I hit the ground back at the trade centre, you went after Vasir without a second look."

"A little fall wasn't going to kill you Jack. I had to stay rational, make the right call. Like I did with Sekat."

"His death was her fault. Not yours."

Liara leaned against a balcony wall, gazing at the city-scape of Ilium and the setting sun.

"Sekat had no idea what the stakes were. I put his life in danger to get the data I needed, and he died. I'd do it again."

I was a little disheartened at how cold and driven she sounded all of a sudden. What was wrong with her? Where was the kind-hearted and sensitive Liara that I knew?

"But from here on out, it will be simpler," she continued. "Get in, get Feron, get out."

"That's it?"

"And kill anyone who gets in our way."

Jack laughed. "Sounds like a plan!"

**Normandy Bridge**

**Hagalaz**

"Greetings ladies and gentlemen of the_ Normandy, _this is your flight lieutenant speaking. If you look out of your window, you'd see a beautiful view of a planet with nothing but kilometer-wide lightning storms, a stray hit from which could fry us all alive. Records indicate that Hagalaz is a garden world, but if so it looks like the kind of garden that was first poisoned by too much DDT and then set on fire. The nearest bar, pub, club and hotel is approximately hundreds of light years away."

"Joker, that's enough."

"The captain wishes me to stop speaking, so enjoy your flight and have a pleasant day with imagining all the things you could be doing on Ilium had our shore leave not been cut short."

"Joker."

"All right, all right. Really, Captain. Of all the planets we could visit, you come here? It's nothing but lightning storms and hail!"

"Don't blame me, blame the Shadow Broker. He set up his base of operations here."

"How? Get any closer to atmo and your ship's fried. You need cruiser-grade armour to even make it through the cloud cover."

"It's not an underground base."

"Really? Cos I was picturing one. A huge underground base with pools for sharks with frickin' laser beams on their heads and a volcano that doubles as a rocket to the moon."

"It's a ship, Joker," explained Liara. "Designed specifically to chase Hagalaz's day-night dividing line. It also makes use of the lightning storms to hide signal feed."

"The Shadow Broker lives on a ship?"

"Yes."

"No AA defenses or anything?"

"I don't think so. His main defense is secrecy."

"I want one."

"You can have it if you want," I joked. "After I shove him out of an airlock."

"Thanks captain, but I think I'll pass. Besides, you'd probably blow it up anyway."

"Hey!"

"Oh please, I know your style."

"I do not go around blowing up random mobile sky-bases!"

"How's this. Fifty thousand credits say you end up blowing the Shadow Broker's base out of the sky."

"You don't have fifty thousand credits."

"How would you know?"

"The captain is right, Jeff. Records indicate after your recent credit bills on Ilium your personal fortune stands at two hundred and seven credits."

"Gee thanks EDI."

"See? You can't make that bet."

"Alright captain, what else is worth fifty thousand credits to you? I'm so confident I'll bet anything you please."

"Let's see...if I _don't _blow up the Shadow Broker's base, you wear a dress for a month. Otherwise I pay you fifty grand hand over fist."

Liara cracked up laughing. It was the first time she'd laughed ever since we'd started this crazy mission, and I was glad to hear it.

"No!"

"Chicken. Not enough you have their hollow bones, you wanna act like one too?"

"Oh that does it, captain. Deal. No one calls Mama Moreau's little boy a chicken and gets away with it. I'm gonna enjoy spending your money."

"And I'm gonna enjoy seeing you in a dress. Remember to take good pictures, EDI."

**xxxx**

True to his skill, Joker got us in close enough without being detected. We loaded up into a shuttle and floated towards the Broker's ship. Joker laughed when he saw who I was bringing along.

"Jack, Grunt, Garrus? Give up commander. That ship is going to go up in smoke."

"We'll see. Miranda? You have the deck. Give us a couple of hours. Make sure the Broker doesn't realise the _Normandy _is paying a call."

"Understood, Jack," she said. "Good luck."

The Broker's ship was unlike anything I'd ever seen before. A huge panel of engines burned at the back, with a long, flat bridge section studded with lightning breakers. The whole thing reminded me of an electric eel, predatory and dangerous in more ways than one.

"That's one ugly ship," observed Garrus.

"I don't have any memories of a ship like this," said Grunt slowly, as if berating himself for his lack of knowledge.

"Don't worry," said Jack amiably. "All we need to do is kill everyone on board."

"I can do that."

"Except Feron," reminded Liara.

"Except Feron."

"Hagalaz," she said distantly. "The oceans boil during the day, then snap-freeze ten minutes after sundown."

"Nice place."

"His ship follows the sunset. Completely undetectable in the storm, unless you know where to look."

"How are we getting inside?" asked Garrus.

"The shuttle bay is locked down. We need to land on the ship, and then find an open hatch."

"We're landing _on _the ship?"

"Yes."

"In the middle of the lightning storm?"

"Yes, we can't stay outside for long. The hot and cold air collide and creates the lightning."

"You know, Liara, when I said I was happy to see you again, I was kidding. Can I go back and calibrate the main guns?"

"Quit complaining Garrus," I said. "We won't fall off. At least I hope not."

"This will be a most interesting fight," said Grunt happily. "A battle in the most dangerous conditions imaginable."

"Maybe I can lift any guards on that thing directly into the path of a lightning bolt!" said Jack, and high-fived Grunt.

"That would be a sight to see indeed!"

Garrus was staring at them, open-mouthed. He caught my eye and shook his head.

"Alright, get ready. Let's land and hope the Broker hasn't prepared a welcoming committee."

**xxxx**

I've fought in a few hostile environments in my time. Jungle, arctic, desert, lava, outer space. But fighting on the outside of the Shadow Broker's ship isn't something I'd like to repeat. I still see it sometimes in my dreams.

Imagine you're on a platform no wider than a few metres across. Add wind-force gales, and more lightning than you've ever seen in a year's worth of thunderstorms crackling all around your head. The static and noise is so bad even radio communication isn't reliable. And the sky overhead is a tortured, hellish expanse of boiling black clouds shot through with immense golden rays of burning sunlight. And the whole thing is shaking, as if at any moment you can be thrown off to be sent crashing into the dark planet below, screaming all the way.

It wasn't pleasant.

"It's all maintenance equipment here!" yelled Liara. "We need to find an entrance near the back shielding!"

I followed her lead, happy not to be charting a path for once. It was enough just to keep my balance. A couple of glowing orange orbs suddenly rose up in front of me, and started firing. They reminded me of Tali's defense drones.

"Maintenance drones!"

"Why are they attacking?" said Grunt.

"They must think we're debris from the storm!"

"I am no debris!" he shouted, and aimed his shotgun, firing one-handed. The drones exploded in mid-air.

"Nice one!"

We inched closer to the back shielding, when a gesture from Garrus made us stop. He'd spotted something.

"Enemy patrol up ahead."

"The Shadow Broker sends his people to patrol the outside of his ship?"

"Apparently."

"Why haven't they killed him themselves already?"

"Good question. Maybe they're _really _scared of him."

"Hey if I told you to stand guard on the outside of the _Normandy, _would you?"

"I'd kill you myself," said Jack helpfully.

"Thanks darling. Good to know."

We then proceeded to kill every last Broker patrol on the outside of the ship. Even if the wind played merry hell with Garrus's aiming, he still managed to get a few of his headshots in. Jack was having the time of her life, flinging Broker agents off the side of the ship to their deaths. Liara was helping, if with less enthusiasm. Grunt and I mopped up the rest. He discovered that shooting out the lightning capacitors made deadly arcs of energy flare around them, killing everyone within range and soon we were just waiting for the agents to draw near the capacitors before frying them alive.

"Not even a guardrail. I bet the Broker's agents just love patrolling the hull."

"At least the view is nice," commented Liara wryly.

We emerged near the back shielding, where an inviting-looking door beckoned.

"There! That hatch leads directly to the communications signals!"

Garrus tried it. "It's locked. What a surprise. We should get Tali down here."

"I have a bypass shunt program that can get it open," offered Liara.

"How long will it take?"

"I don't know, Jack. I've never broken into the Shadow Broker's base before. At least, not this one."

"Here come more of the Broker's agents," warned Grunt.

"Take them. Liara, you sure that shunt is working?"

"I think so. It's illegal even on Ilium. It didn't exactly come with a warranty."

A shot flew past my head.

"But you tested it right?"

"There's more of them, to the left!"

"Liara! Tell me you tested it!"

"No time to talk!" she said, almost gaily. I swore under my breath and shot a Broker engineer in the throat. Beside me, Jack glowed blue and hurled an agent directly into a lightning capacitor. His screams of agony and the pop of his armour as it cracked from the heat was nightmarish.

"Liara?"

"I'm sure it won't be much longer!"

"Remember the old days when you could just slap omni-gel on everything?"

"That security upgrade made a lot of people angry," commented Garrus.

A swarm of rocket drones rose up to meet us. Grunt went directly for them, shotgun blasting each one out of the sky. His barriers were upgraded to the point where he could shrug off a rocket blast or two, and he made full use of it.

"I AM KROGAN!"

"Their attacks are disorganised," said Liara. "They'd be more effective if they all attacked at once."

"Please don't give the mercs ideas!" I yelled.

"More coming up on the left flank, Jack!" said Garrus urgently. He aimed and fired, aimed and fired, but had to duck down to reload.

"It looks like a big wave!"

"You just had to give them tactical advice."

"Look on the bright side, that means there'll be less to deal with inside," said Liara.

"Keep dreaming, T'soni!"

The hatch door suddenly blared a warning. "There, the hatch is open!" yelled Liara.

"Everyone inside! On the double, move!"

**xxxx**

The Shadow Broker's lair was pretty much as you'd expect. Full of creepy dark hallways, mysterious passages that led to god knows where, and crawling with guards.

Garrus saved my hide, just as he had so many times before. While I was more comfortable with warfare out in the open, he had racked up two years of experience fighting through the seedy underbelly of Omega. In fact Omega had so much seedy underbelly it was practically a sumo wrestler that had rolled around in a wheat field, but all that meant Garrus was probably the person most familiar with close-quarters combat in the entire Verse. Cramped corridors with no safety railings and no lighting was practically his second home. I let him take the lead with no fuss, and we carved a bloody path through the hordes of Broker agents.

"There'll be less of them inside eh?" I reminded Liara.

"Sorry."

"Scoped and dropped!" Garrus yelled joyfully. The scarred bastard was having fun.

"Nice one Vakarian."

"What would you do without me Shepard? Hey Grunt, if I fight better than your Battlemaster does that make me your new Battlemaster?"

"No," rumbled Grunt ominously.

"Just kidding."

We turned into the prison block and our playful banter died on our lips at the sight. A drell was strapped into a chair, hooked up to some kind of elaborate device that put thoughts of electro-shock therapy in mind. He looked frail and weak, his eyes closed and his breathing thin and reedy. I didn't know enough about drell physiology to compare, but his skin looked pale to me. Whatever the Shadow Broker had been doing to him, it wasn't pleasant.

Jack had clenched her fists. I knew what must be going through her mind. The sight of the chair, those restraints...it looked remarkably similar to the set-up on Pragia where she was experimented on, over and over, without hope of escape.

"Relax Jackie," I murmured. She looked repulsed but took a deep breath, and little by little visibly fought down her mounting disgust.

Liara however, was horrified. "Feron!" she cried. This was her friend then. The one who had apparently sacrificed himself to save Liara's life and mine, after a fashion. I felt a surge of anger for the Shadow Broker.

"Hold on, we're getting you out of here!" Liara raced to a console and started punching buttons. But instead of popping free the restraints an arc of electricity shot from the machine and ran through Feron, making him scream in agony. Jack winced. Liara backed away from the console as though it had grown red-hot.

"The equipment...is sensitive to tampering," panted Feron, in the incredibly laconic way all drell seemed to have. Wait no, that was insensitive, I'd only met two before Feron. But it reminded me of Thane all the same.

"Grunt, keep an eye on the entrance in case there are more squads lurking about," I said quietly. The big lizard nodded assent and went away.

"This chair is plugged directly into the Broker's information network," said Feron, every word seeming like a monumental effort. "Pull me out now and my brain cooks. You have to cut off the power."

"Where can we do that?"

"It won't be easy. You have to get to the operations centre."

"What do you know of the Broker?" asked Garrus. "What does he look like?"

"I never got a good look. He's huge though. The guards are scared to death of him."

"A krogan?" ventured Liara.

But Feron shook his head limply, as if saying anything more would cause him more pain.

"Central operations is just down that hallway," he said at last, eyes closed. "You know the Broker is waiting for you, right?"

Liara raised her submachine gun, her eyes growing darker. "I'm counting on it. We're coming back for you Feron."

"I'll try not to go anywhere," he said with a tired chuckle.

"Come on," said Liara, heading down the hall. "I want this man dead."

"You're learning, Blue. You're learning," said Jack, following her.

**xxxx**

Liara hit the door access panel so hard it cracked under her fist, and the door slid open silently. We were inside the most secret place in the entire galaxy.

It was a round room, with four pillars arranged in equidistant locations in the middle. At the far end, hidden in shadow, sat the Shadow Broker behind a console panel. Oh, very funny. Whoever he was, he clearly loved theatrics. Feron was right, he was huge. But the silhouette didn't resemble a krogan's. Something that looked suspiciously like twisting horns rose from his skull. I had no idea what the heck he was.

"**Here for the drell?**" asked the Broker. His voice, as expected, was deep, ominous, and guttural.

"No, I'm selling girl scout cookies. I have Thin Mint and Chocolate Chip. Want a box, mister?"

There was a pause as everyone in the room looked at me. I kept my gun steady on the Broker, never taking my eyes off him however.

"**Amusing, Commander,**" he said finally. "**But reckless. As usual.**"

"Yeah? The bombing on Ilium wasn't exactly subtle."

"**Extreme, but necessary.**"

"No it wasn't!" snapped Liara suddenly. "And neither was caging and torturing Feron for two years!"

"**The drell betrayed me when he handed over the Commander's body to you instead of me. He is simply paying the price.**"

"You were working with the Collectors," said Garrus. "They would sell you out sooner or later."

"Yeah and it'll be pretty hard to run a base like this with no crew," said Jack sweetly. "They're all dead, in case you didn't know."

"**Enough talk**," said the Broker abruptly. "**My operations are too delicate to be compromised by the likes of you**."

"You're confident for someone with no one left to hide," challenged Liara.

"**You travel with fascinating companions, doctor,**" said the Broker, changing tack. "**It is good that you brought along Archangel. The bounty on his head is still outstanding.**"

"It is? Oh joy," said Garrus.

"**And Subject Zero. Her body will be worth almost as much as Shepard's.**"

"Just try and take it, you son of a bitch!" snarled Jack.

"Yeah, I think your body should be worth more than mine."

"Shut up, Jack! Now's not the time!"

"Shutting up now."

"You're not putting a hand on anyone!" cried Liara.

"**It's pointless to challenge me, doctor. I know every secret in this galaxy while you fumble in the dark.**"

"Oh? Is that right? I happen to know everything about you, Broker," said Liara. Now it was our turn to stare at her.

"You're a yahg," she continued. "A pre-spaceflight species quarantined to their homeworld for massacring the Council's first contact teams. This base is older than your planet's discovery, which probably means you killed the original Broker sixty years ago and took over. I'm guessing you were taken from your world by a trophy hunter for a slave...or a pet."

She had a small smile on her face, the one I associated with her quietly absorbed in Prothean research work or enjoying a nice cup of tea. It was a little scary to see it now.

"How am I doing?"

The Broker stood up. At his full height, his head scraped the ceiling. Then roaring, he smashed his console to bits with a single handand tossed a huge piece of the wreckage at Liara. I rugby tackled her to the floor, with the chunk of metal missing our heads by inches. He roared in fury, a sound that seemed to go on forever. Oh dear God, his mouth split open _three _ways, with each lined with needle sharp teeth. He produced a Revenant machine gun from behind his back and opened fire, one-handed at us.

I returned fire, but observed that it didn't seem to be doing much damage. My bullets were simply bouncing off his shield, the likes of which that I had never seen before.

"It's kinetically sensitive!" yelled Liara. "Projectiles and energy just bounce off!"

I looked at her in despair. How the hell were we going to take him down? Then a lightbulb flicked on in my head.

"Then we do this the hard way! Jackie! Fastball special!"

"Huh?" she said, a little groggy. She caught a glancing blow off the wreckage of the Broker's control panel. But she understood what I wanted. She whipped her arm forward in a short, sharp motion, like a pitcher throwing a softball pitch. I felt myself being lifted off my feet, then arrowing straight towards the Shadow Broker. I caught him a good sock on the jaw, and his head snapped back. He sure as hell wasn't expecting that.

I swung a few more times, making sure to keep him off balance. I was glad to have kept up with Jacob with our little sparring sessions in the ring, and with Jack's little fight club on the Citadel. I wouldn't win any prizes for style, but at least I was rocking the Broker off his feet.

Garrus saw what I was trying to do and rushed to my aid, but the Broker got lucky and swiped him away with one massive tree-trunk arm. Garrus hit the wall, hard.

"You're dead, Broker!" raged Liara, waving her gun ineffectively. "If I have to blow up your whole ship to do it, you're dead!"

"Don't do it, I don't have the fifty grand!"

I ducked and bobbed and weaved and got a few good shots in, but I had to be lucky all the time. The Broker only needed to be lucky once. I was fast running out of ideas. Luckily, Jack had one more.

"GRUNT!" she screamed. "GRUNT!"

I'd forgotten all about him. Then I heard the thudding, thunderous footsteps. And then a roar of rage as five hundred pounds of krogan sailed through the air and landed smack on the Broker. As he flailed about, reeling from this unexpected attack, Grunt shoved the barrel into the Broker's mouth and fired. I had specially designed that Claymore for him. It packed more punch than the average missile launcher. At this sort of range...the Broker's head dissolved into a fine mist.

I lay on my back, trying to catch my breath. "Thanks."

"What did I just kill?"

"Yahg. Ugly. Nasty. Big."

Grunt snorted. "Smaller now."

"You ok?" asked Jack, bending over me. She looked concerned. I sat up and gave her a reassuring smile.

"Never better."

She put her arms around me and I allowed my head to rest on her shoulder.

Garrus hauled himself to his feet with some effort, and began fiddling with a control box. The lights flickered and dimmed. A cacophony of voices suddenly rose from a communications panel alongside one wall.

"Shadow Broker, this is operative Murat. We experienced a temporary blackout and are awaiting further instructives."

"Shadow Broker, this is operative Shura. I am back online now."

"Shadow Broker, should I continue as planned?"

"Shadow Broker?"

"Shadow Broker?"

I looked at Liara, but she was already walking towards the panel. Her head was lowered, and I knew she was making a huge decision. Then she suddenly opened a wide-range broadcast and spoke into it.

"This is the Shadow Broker. We experienced a momentary power surge while upgrading hardware and are back online. Resume standard operating procedures. I want a full report on all operations within one standard day."

Jack laughed. "Nice. Very nice."

Liara smiled guiltily. "I just thought...why not? Everyone who's ever seen him in person is dead."

The hallway door opened again, and Feron staggered through. His eyes widened when he saw us, and the corpse of the former Shadow Broker on the floor.

"I heard...I thought...you're the new Shadow Broker, Liara!"

"Is taking over really a good thing?" asked Garrus.

"We should be able to make use of all his contacts, his resources, his intel. With it I can give you anything you want. I can even..." Liara trailed off in mid-sentence, her arms falling limp by her sides. Garrus gave me a sideways look.

"I'll uh, go calibrate the power systems. And Feron, let's get you to a medbay."

"Certainly," said Feron, catching on. Grunt followed him. Jack was the last to leave.

"You'll be ok?"

"I'm fine," I said. "Go on ahead. I'll catch up with you."

For a moment Jack stood there, unsure. Would she leave? After all this time, would she trust me to be alone in a room with another woman? And if she did, would I have the heart to tell her to go? I wasn't so sure.

Then she nodded, and walked out. "See you later." The relief was enormous. She really trusted me, at long last.

Tears streamed down Liara's face, her breath hitching as she struggled to regain composure. "It's over, finally. After two years."

"Hey, come here." I spread my arms and pulled her close. She began to cry against my chest as I patted her on the back.

"It's over. It's all right."

"I spent two years mourning you and Feron. And now I've got you both back. Oh, goddess..."

She broke away, but her hands were still in mine.

"All I wanted was to rescue Feron. But is it wrong that a part of me wants this? With the Broker's files, I could help you. I could turn this network into something better."

"I'm sure you could...Shadow Broker," I said. Liara laughed. It was as if two years of mourning had never happened. I had my friend back, safe and whole.

**Captain's Cabin**

**Normandy**

Red wine for two. A little soft music to set the mood. Jazz, for preference. EDI's databanks were extensive. I had on my best suit, an impressive looking black one that Kasumi had gotten for me way back when for Donovan Hock's party.

I had talked things over with Jack. It took some persuasion, but she understood. I still had friends, close friends I was willing to die for even if I was dating her now. And part of any good relationship is not to deny your partner opportunities to interact with his friends.

"Do you trust me?"

"Always have," she said firmly. One hand of hers traced the line of my jaw, while both of mine were around her waist, resting on her slim hips.

"I need to sort things out with Liara. It'll take some time. She might not like what I have to hear. But I owe her this much, at least."

"I know."

"Thank you." Ah hell, I decided to take the plunge.

"I need to talk to you too. It's important. When this is over."

"Oh? What about?"

"Later. It's private. About the two of us."

"Ok Jack. Ok."

I was lost in my thoughts when Liara walked into my quarters. She was wearing a beautiful lilac gown that showed off her generous curves. I suddenly felt glad about wearing a suit. She turned her head slowly, this way and that, taking in every inch of my room. The colourful fish in their tank, the soft blue glow that permeated the entire room. My toy starship collection, safe behind their glass cover. My pet hamster on the shelf beside my work desk. Its eyes were bright and inquisitive as it waddled over to the side of the glass to catch a glimpse of the new visitor. My work desk, scattered with datapads and reports. My picture of Jack.

Her touch was obvious in the room too, having moved here. Her boots were lined up along one wall. Her jacket peeking out of my closet. It was no longer strictly just my quarters. It was her home now as well.

"Enjoy the tour?"

"Yes indeed. It's a beautiful ship. And I ran into Joker, he seemed happy to see me."

"That's nice."

"It's good to see he takes his bets seriously."

"Surprised me too." The tale of Joker stoically flying the _Normandy_ while wearing a cheery yellow cotton summer dress with a flared skirt and a big pink bow was already legend among the crew. EDI had surreptitiously distributed a few photos, with my permission, on the Extranet.

"He did ask if I'd embraced eternity lately."

"Ignore him. Sore loser."

"I also spoke with Dr Chakwas. I'm glad she's doing well." Liara handed me the box she was carrying. "I have a gift for you. Your Alliance service dog tags. I recovered them from the crash."

I took it, touched. "Thank you Liara. I never thought I'd see this again." I placed them beside Jack's picture on my desk. She looked at it for a long moment. Then she turned back to me.

"So how are you doing, Jack?"

I opened my mouth.

"I mean honestly. Not what you tell your squad to keep their morale up. Please, you can tell me."

I let out a long sigh as I mulled it over. But she was right. I could tell her anything. After all, she was good at keeping a secret.

"Honestly? I'm tired. I'm tired of dealing with Cerberus. They've done some evil, messed-up things. They'd gladly kill every last asari, turian and salarian if they could. And what they did to Jack..."

I rubbed my eyes.

"She still dreams about it sometimes, Liara. I wake up and I hear her crying out. All I can do is to hold her close until it goes away. And these are the people I had to work with. These are the people whom I owe my life. It's frustrating."

I thought Liara would say something but instead she kept silent, allowing me to release all of my pent up emotion and anger. I poured everything out to her.

"I'm tired of the Council ignoring me. They say they're preparing for the Reapers, but what have they done so far? Not much. Instead they send me off to chase down Cerberus. I did that for them. I killed Ransom Foley. But we're no closer to the Illusive Man. And I have no idea how much time I wasted."

Liara nodded.

"But most of all, I'm tired of my closest friends not believing me. To look into someone's eyes and see that they think you're a monster...I wouldn't wish that on anyone."

"Yes, I heard about what Ashley said on Horizon," she said. "But their short sightedness doesn't diminish what you've accomplished. You destroyed the Collectors! You saved entire human colonies from a fate worse than death."

"Not enough," I said, my voice hollow. "I didn't save them all."

"You've done more than anyone could expect of you," said Liara. She looked at Jack's picture again.

"And you rescued her," she continued. "You gave her a chance at a new life. You must really love her, don't you?"

I nodded slowly. "Yeah. Yeah, I do." She looked a little wistful.

"When we first met back on Therum, after defeating Saren...you touched something in me, Jack."

"I did?"

"Yes. And get your mind out of the gutter."

"I wasn't thinking it," I lied.

"Yes you were. Damnit, shut up and listen to me. I care about you. More than I ever thought possible. But first you were with Ashley and then you weren't with her anymore. And then she just gave up when she heard you were dead. I refused to believe it. I tried so hard to get you back."

"I know."

"But it looks like you found love again, on your own," said Liara, smiling sadly.

"I love her, Liara," I said. "But I also love you. Maybe not in a romantic way, but you are one of the closest friends I've ever made. You know everything about me. We've saved each other's lives more than once. I'd trust you with anything in the galaxy."

"Except your heart."

"I'm sorry. I really am. But I can't give you that, Liara."

"I know. I understand," said Liara, looking as though it was the hardest thing she ever had to say. But she did say it, and she looked as though she meant it.

"Everything else I have, everything else that I am...it's yours. Anytime. I care about you more than I can say. And that will never change."

Liara hugged me, and we didn't say anything for a long moment.

"Is that what you're fighting for, Jack? Are you fighting for her? To give her faith in something else rather than anger?"

"I suppose so. She is getting better, relatively speaking. Day by day. Bit by bit. I just want to spend whatever time I have with her."

"I don't know if she can ever be truly free of Pragia."

"I know. But I don't care. She's important to me. Just as you are."

Liara wiped away a tear and kissed me on the cheek. Delicately. Chastely.

"I know that too. And that's why you are going to win. As long as you're fighting for her, you'll do whatever it takes to make this galaxy safe for the future you'll have together."

"Thank you," I whispered.

Liara produced a small datapad, and left it on my desk.

"I have some files you might be interested in. They concern your crew. The Broker had some information on Jack you might want to discuss with her."

"I'll look through it later."

"I hope you find happiness with her, Jack. I truly do."

"You know Liara, I think I already have."


	30. Every Gift But Length Of Years

**Chapter 30 – Every Gift But Length Of Years**

**The Normandy**

**Captain's Quarters**

The little holographic alarm clock I kept on my bedside table rang shrilly and I was jolted awake. It had been a relatively good night. No bad dreams. Yawning, I reached over and turned off the clock. I used to have a real clock, but Jack would smash it against the wall with her biotics each time it went off. In the end I forked over the credits for a holographic one, reasoning it would save money in the long run.

I rubbed my eyes and sat up. There was an empty space beside me, and the sound of running water. Jack had gotten up before me, a rare event, and was in my bathroom. Although it was really our bathroom now. She had her own toothbrush there, and wasn't that what counted when a couple moved in together? My cabin was about the size of the average apartment back on Earth after all. Even on some of the more crowded colonies. It was as much a home to her as it was to me. I could walk in any hour of the day and see her lounging on my couch reading a book, watching a vid, or taking a nap on my bed.

But she'd been spending time elsewhere as well. Jack had been working with Miranda, reviewing mission strategy. After the first two sessions I saw they weren't going to blow a hole in my ship's hull, and left with thanks. She sparred with Grunt for exercise, and had target practice with Garrus. She even enjoyed a game of poker every now and then with Ken and Gabby, although she stopped short of braiding hair with Kelly. Still, she was doing exactly what I hoped she would be doing ever since I got her off Purgatory. She was becoming one of us.

I shuffled into the bathroom, drawing a yelp from Jack.

"What the hell, man?"

"Good morning honey," I said, putting my arms around her from behind. The water instantly plastered my wild looking hair down.

Jack laughed and gave me a shove. I refused to let go and slid my hands up and down her front, loving the feel of her small breasts in my hands. I idly teased her nipple, rolling it around my thumb and forefinger and felt it rise in anticipation.

"Come here, you."

We made love in the shower and finished up together. Jack wandered around the cabin, searching for something to wear while I lay back on the bed and admired her cute round rear as she bent over to pick up her boots.

"I know what you're looking at, Jack," she said, in a mock warning tone.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Hmph yeah, sure." She pulled on her tight red hip-hugger panties, and then her jeans. She pulled over a black tube top, not bothering with a bra, and checked herself out in the mirror. She looked great. Her mohawk had grown out a bit longer by now. She had dyed it black and it gave her a very striking look.

"Beautiful," I said in admiration, once she had finished.

"Tell me something I don't know. I'll see you later. Got to do the meditations Samara taught me before she left."

"Want me to come with?"

"Nah it's ok. I know you have work today."

"See you later then."

"Bye Jack," she said with a smile. She gave me a quick kiss and then she was gone. I dressed and went down for some breakfast.

Captains on different ships had the authority to choose their own crew schedules. Alliance ships and most other military vessels operated on a round the clock basis. This meant at any given moment a fraction of the crew would be asleep in their bunks, which changed by the hour. It resulted in always having a substantial number of the crew at their stations at all times, although it took a while to get used to the sleeping patterns. I preferred sticking to a standard day schedule, relying on EDI and a skeleton crew to run the _Normandy _during 'night time'. It hadn't caused problems so far, and the crew appreciated having a schedule that was a bit more familiar.

I threw some melon slices on a plate, grabbed a cup of coffee and wandered into the communications and briefing room. Hardly anyone ever went there and I felt like a bit of privacy. To my surprise Miranda was already there, hard at work on what looked like a stack of expense reports.

"Morning Miranda," I said affably.

"Good morning, Captain," said Miranda, looking up and smiling.

She was wearing something other than her skintight catsuit today, a surprisingly modest pin-stripe suit with a skirt long enough to command respect but short enough to get the blood flowing. I liked it. She somehow looked more alluring when she wasn't putting everything on display.

"You want some coffee?" I said.

"Thank you." She accepted a cup and drank deep, eyes closed, both her hands wrapped around the cup. I took a seat opposite her.

"How's Oriana?" I asked casually. Miranda looked surprised for a moment, as if polite inquiries about her family weren't something that she was used to. Of course they weren't. Up till Ilium Miranda herself believed she didn't have a family, except for her father, and the less said about him the better.

"She's doing well, thank you. Very bright. She's taken a job in a civilian R&D lab. Wonderfully skilled chemist, I'm told."

There was a soft glow of pleasure on Miranda's face as she spoke of her sister. I liked that too. Miranda too often looked drawn, exhausted and worn-out lately. Seeing her cheerful was a good start to the day.

"Miri, there's something I need to talk to you about. Something personal," I said after a while. It wasn't going to be easy, but it was something I had to do. Not just as Miranda's captain, but her friend.

Miranda set her cup on the table. "Of course."

"EDI, could you lock the door please?"

"At once, Captain."

"And...could you not listen in on this conversation please? It's important."

A slight pause, and then EDI spoke up again. "Aye aye, sir."

Miranda looked alarmed. I usually didn't bother whether EDI was in the room or not, but I needed complete privacy for this one.

"What's this about?" she said.

I looked at Miranda directly and began to speak. "Liara passed me some confidential dossiers she found in the Shadow Broker's databanks. Apparently he was keeping close tabs on all of us, the crew of the _Normandy. _Things like messages and private conversations."

A deep, scarlet blush coloured Miranda's pale white cheeks. I pressed on relentlessly, while privately wishing I didn't have to.

"It was a disgusting breach of privacy, and I'm glad we killed him. But the Broker had been monitoring you, Miri. Your dating service calls."

"John, I...that's none of your business!" said Miranda angrily.

"I know, I know. In fact I regret even looking at those dossiers. But Liara said they were important and I read them, and I can't take it back. I'm not bothered about the dating service thing anyway, your love life is your own -"

"I should bloody well think so," she cut in.

"- but the Broker also had a doctor's medical report in his files."

I met Miranda's eyes. They were wide, and clear, and terrified. She looked like an animal caught in the headlights. I sighed, hating myself. But I pushed on.

"Miri, I know you can't have kids. I'm really sorry about that," I said, my words hanging heavy in the air.

Her hands were clenched into fists, her perfect nails digging into her palm. I could see the red marks from where I was sitting.

"All I want to say is that I'm your friend and I'm here for you if you want to talk about it. If you want to rage or vent or whatever. You don't have to shoulder this alone."

"I want to get out."

"Miri, I -"

"LET ME OUT!"

I nodded evenly. She had the right to be angry right now. Miranda went over to the door's manual control and stormed out. I sighed and resumed my breakfast. And now that she wasn't around to do it, I settled down to go over the expense reports. They reminded me why I became a soldier instead of a bureaucrat.

**xxxx**

I was working out in the gym a few days later, doing a few bench presses while a couple of the other guys used the free weights. I had no idea where Jack was, lately she'd been spending more and more time by herself. But she didn't look too troubled when she came back to the cabin at night and the sex was still great, so I couldn't complain. We had just finished another mission where I shut down a Reaper artifact that had turned an entire mining colony into husks. I passed on the information to Admiral Hackett, the Old Sailor, the one man I could trust absolutely in the Alliance. The one woman was my mother, of course.

Still, it was frustrating to be kept out of the loop, to be restricted to Terminus Systems space. I felt like I was spinning my wheels, not really going anywhere. I did what I could and averted some nasty incidents that could have escalated into disasters, hurt Cerberus interests whenever possible, but it still felt like I was wasting time. Secretly I was having second thoughts over my decision to quit the Alliance, to go independent. I loved the freedom and the opportunity...but was this the time? The Reapers were out there somewhere, waiting in deep space. Maybe they were already on the move. When the Reapers struck, wouldn't I be better off working with the Alliance, working within the system, trying to help it save itself?

"Hell if I know, Tali," I grunted, smacking out another rep. I didn't know why she was in the gym, but she'd sat down on a bench next to me and we'd talked for a while. "I don't know what the Council wants. I could call them, but I'm not sure they'd take it."

"What about that information you sent to them about Cerberus?" asked Tali hopefully.

"Nothing concrete so far. If they've found something, they've been keeping it from me. Sometimes I wonder whether I should just go back to Alliance space after all."

"Back to the Alliance?" she asked. I knew quarians placed great importance on their community and their Fleet. Breaking away to become a lone wolf like I did was something incomprehensible to her, even if she had loyally supported my decision.

"Yeah. I just feel that if I banged enough heads together maybe people will sit up and take notice. If the Council won't listen maybe the Alliance will. Someone needs to be prepared and get people ready."

"I wish the Migrant Fleet could do the same," sighed Tali.

"Maybe you could do it then," I said, resisting the urge to wipe away the sweat from my forehead.

"Do what?"

"Shout. Raise hell. Knock a few heads together. Throw your weight around."

"Oh, I don't know," said Tali doubtfully.

"Think about it Tals. We're the only people in the entire galaxy who knows the truth. We need to get the word out."

"I'm not a leader, Jack. I'm not you."

"The hell you're not," I snapped. "I mean yeah well, you're not me, but you are a leader."

"What about Haestrom?" she asked timidly. I could see it was bothering her.

"Everyone makes mistakes."

"Not like I did."

"Worse than you did. I make mistakes all the time. I messed up so badly during my N7 training I thought they were going to kick me out."

"What happened?"

"Never mind that now," I said brusquely, feeling the strain in my arms. "Maybe I'll tell you some other day. The point is that while you lost people on Haestrom, at the end of the day you got the job done."

"They were good people," Tali said quietly.

"I'm sure they were. But you got the job done," I said, with extra emphasis. "Now I'll admit there are times when the price is too high. Times when you either spit your commanding officer in the eye or lose your soul. But on Haestrom, you got the job done. You retrieved the data you needed, data which could help save even more lives in the long run. A commander loses people, and every single one of them knew and accepted the risks going in. That's just how it is."

"I know. But I hate it."

"Me too," I said bluntly. Someone else might not have noticed anything, but I've been around Tali long enough to pick up on the subtle cues of her body language that belied surprise.

"You do? How do you live with it, then?"

"You have to deal with it every day. Every day you make the choices that could mean life or death. That's what power is. Idiots like the Illusive Man think it's about controlling people. In fact they control you. You're the one they look to, and the higher you go the weightier your decisions are."

"I'm not sure I want to climb that high then."

"But you see, having that power means you are in a position to make a difference. To choose to help instead of hurt. To make the right decision that leaves your men and women better off than if they had been under the command of some other jackass. You can do it, Tals. I know you can."

She laughed. "Ok ok, I'll think about it some more. You're always trying to teach me stuff, Jack."

"Am I? I guess I am. I don't know. Just feels right to tell you what I know, you know?" I said. Tali smiled in understanding.

The door slid open and Miranda walked in. She was dressed unusually casual today, just a button-down black shirt and trousers. She also looked a bit flustered, which was something I rarely saw from the cool, self-possessed tactical officer.

"Captain, can we have a private word?"

"Miri? Sure thing. Let me just..._theeeere _we go." I replaced the weight on the rack and stood up. "Right now? I'm not exactly fresh."

"I don't mind."

"Ok then." I slung a towel over my bare shoulders and waved goodbye to Tali. Miranda led me back to the communications room. I began to see where this was headed.

"EDI, lock the door and leave us in private, please."

"Yes sir. I note that you are underdressed. Are you planning a tryst with Tactical Officer Lawson?"

Miranda looked annoyed. "EDI, that's not funny."

"Was I joking?"

"We're not having a tryst EDI," I groaned. "Just...just let us talk privately."

"At once sir."

"AIs, eh?" I said weakly, when I was sure EDI was gone. Miranda chose to ignore my sheepish smile.

"John, I've been thinking. About the Broker dossiers."

"Ok."

"You shouldn't have read them."

"I know Miri. I apologise."

"Then again," she said slowly. There was a hint of a fond smile on her face, but she looked a little melancholy all the same. "There's only one person in the entire galaxy I'd trust enough to talk about it with, and that's you."

"That's not true," I said immediately.

"But it is," said Miranda. "After Niket died I don't have anyone left that I trust. Maybe Jacob, but we were never really close. Not about personal stuff, anyway. And I love Oriana, but she's just a kid, you know? There are some things she doesn't need to hear."

"I think you can trust Ori with more than you think, but I'm glad you trust me," I said.

"It wasn't easy, let me tell you," she said. "But we've been through a hell of a lot, haven't we?"

"Sure have. So, do you want to talk about it?"

Miranda puffed out her cheeks, looking absurdly youthful for a moment, like a little kid who was tired of school and wanted to go home. Then she leaned back in her chair.

"I don't know. Part of me just wishes I could keep it a secret forever. The other part says I'd just bottle it up and blow up one day, like all the rest. It's...nice...having somebody who I can talk to about it."

"Only if you want to."

"Alright. John, have you ever thought about becoming a father?"

"Sure. I mean, not right now. But someday."

"Why?"

"Why? Well I suppose it's because I love the way my mum and dad raised me and I want to share that with someone else I love."

"You see...everything I've ever had was given to me by my father. And I don't care who your own father was, Henry Lawson is worse."

"Got that right," I said, suppressing a shudder.

"I just wanted something I could call my own, I suppose," said Miranda, in a voice so low I had to lean in to hear her properly. I could tell this was something she had never told anyone else before, not in her entire life. "I wanted something that I created by myself. Truly, wholly mine. And I'd give him or her all the love and care I never had. Does that sound silly to you?"

"No Miri. It doesn't. But why random strangers? What about finding the right guy?"

"Well the only person I've been genuinely interested in for years shut me down hard," she said in an icy tone, but her eyes were sparkling teasingly. I coughed, suddenly acutely aware of my own toplessness. "And it's also rather difficult to build a decent relationship with someone when you're stuck on this ship going from one life-threatening mission to another."

"You have a point."

"Maybe it'll be easier when this is all over."

"What about adoption? You could make some little boy or girl really happy."

"I've thought about it. But the child won't be anything like me."

"Miri, that's ridiculous," I said firmly.

"What is?"

"It doesn't matter whether that kid has your genes or not, if you love him and raise him right he'll owe everything he has to you. Don't you see? You're thinking like Henry again. Genes aren't everything."

"But...I..."

"Don't dismiss it out of hand, that's all I'm saying. There are a lot of lonely people in the Verse. Some of them just need someone to love them. And I can't think of anyone better than you."

Miranda blushed again, but out of pleasure this time, not embarrassment. "Thank you, John." She reached out and closed her hand over mine. "I'm glad there's somebody I can talk things over with."

"I'm your friend Miranda. Anytime." I smiled, remembering I had said the same thing to Liara. And it was true. I valued Miranda's companionship and friendship as much as I did Liara's. And there was something in knowing that in the entire Verse, you were the person someone else trusted the most.

**xxxx**

The day after Miranda and I left the communications room better friends than ever, I was idly surfing the Extranet, looking up hamster care tips. If the Shadow Broker had been monitoring my net activity, he wouldn't have found it very exciting. Suddenly my door hissed open and a small thunderstorm exploded into the room.

"JACK!"

"Jesus Christ!" I yelled in shock, nearly toppling out of my chair. Jack bent over, hugged her knees and laughed fit to burst. Only by making a grab for the edge of the desk did I stop myself from breaking my neck.

"Ahahahaha!"

"What do you want?"

"Ok calm your tits," she said, wiping tears of mirth from her eyes.

"I don't have any."

"Yeah you'd look terrible with 'em. I have a proposal for you."

"I already told you, I'm not letting you wrestle Grunt while we're flying. You rattle the hull and scare the crap out of Joker."

"Yeah he might ruin that pretty dress of his. Nah this is something else."

"I'm all ears."

"I'm taking you out on a date," said Jack, with an air of great relish.

"A date?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Why? Why? Maybe because I'm your girlfriend, dumbass."

"I mean yeah, but why now?"

"Jack, you've always taken me places. Some more interesting than others, some boring as hell, but you're always taking the lead."

I shrugged. "It's what I do."

"I know. And sometimes I let you. But it's not right."

I thought it over. Jack was right, come to think of it. I had always been the one taking the lead. I loved her and wanted to protect her. But maybe she didn't need protection. She could take care of herself. If this was going to work, she needed to become an equal partner in the relationship. I wasn't her knight in shining armour riding up to save the day, and I shouldn't need to act like it.

Jack saw me thinking and smiled. "You see? You know I'm right. So here's the plan. We're going to Bekenstein for a week."

"Bekenstein? But that's in Alliance space. The Council wants the _Normandy_ to stay in the Terminus Systems."

"Yeah, like you're really going to care about what they say," said Jack nonchalantly. "But we don't have to. Let's just take a shuttle there. Let someone else handle the ship for a while."

"Someone else? It's my ship!" I said, shocked that Jack would even suggest such a thing.

"Touchy as hell," sighed Jack. "Can't you leave the ship for one week?"

"But...it's my ship..." I said, disbelief in every word.

"Jack," she said flatly, with her cut-the-bullshit look on her face.

I thought about it some more. Miranda could run things just fine. And a week alone with Jack did sound tempting.

"Ok. Let's go."

Jack let out a whoop of joy and gave me a hard kiss on the lips.

"You actually planned this?" I said, a little incredulously.

"Yup, I did," she said. "Surprised?"

"A little," I admitted.

"I'm not always the let's-drop-whatever-we're-doing-and-go girl, you know. I can plan."

"Alright, alright," I said, my hands up. "You can plan. I'm excited already."

**xxxx**

Jack and I had packed and we were ready to go. Most of the crew were on the Bridge, joking and laughing among themselves as they waited to see the little ceremony I had planned. Although this was little more than a routine job-reassignment, I wanted to have a little fun. And it was all according to Alliance protocol anyway.

I had to think a little more about that one later. Why was I still following Alliance protocol when I no longer had to? But for now I had put on my nicest suit and lined up a few of the guys on the Bridge. I went up and down the row, just as if I was an Admiral conducting a parade inspection. I stopped in front of Miranda suddenly.

"Tactical Officer Lawson," I barked.

"Yes, Captain," she replied serenely, with all the calm of a summer pool. She had managed to procure a modified version of my Alliance Captain's uniform, in blazing white instead of blue, and looked every inch the seasoned ship's captain.

"You are hereby promoted to Acting-Captain for the duration of my leave of absence, with all the privileges and duties the rank entails. You will carry out this ship's missions to the best of your ability and judgment. As long as you hold said rank on my ship, your word is law. Do you understand the orders you have been given?"

"Yes, Captain."

"Don't keel-haul or maroon anybody. Well, not unless they've been really naughty."

"I'm sure the crew will give me no reason too. Isn't that right, ladies and gentlemen?" said Miranda with a gleam in her eye. More than a few of the crew members tried to fade into the background. I moved on to the next in line.

"Garrus Vakarian."

"Yes, Captain," said Garrus, his back ramrod straight, his gaze perfectly forward in the best traditions of the turian military.

"You are hereby promoted from Chief Gunnery Officer to Acting-Tactical Officer. Do you have any objections?"

"No, Captain!"

"Very well. Listen up crew, never let it be said that Captain Shepard is a speciesist. A turian is your XO now."

Garrus chuckled, then saluted me, which I returned gravely. I moved on.

"Grunt!"

"Shepard."

I glared at him for his breach of protocol, but the big guy was implacable.

"You are hereby promoted to Acting-Chief Gunnery Officer. The _Normandy's _guns are all yours. Do you have any objections?"

"Not at all. Does this mean I get to blow things up?"

"Yes, it does."

"I am honoured to accept," said Grunt happily. I moved on to the last in line. Kelly Chambers was standing there, looking a bit mystified.

"Yeoman Kelly Chambers!"

She tried to salute, got it wrong, and looked flustered as she finally snapped off a proper salute. I returned it as seriously as I could.

"Yes...yes sir. Captain. Captain Shepard, sir."

"You are hereby tasked with taking care of my hamster. And my fish. Make sure they don't die while I'm away." A roar of laughter swept through the crew, and Kelly grinned along with them out of relief.

"Oh I can do that, no problem."

"Also you will be in charge of morale, making sure this crew performs to the peak of their ability," I said, to take the sting out of the joke. "There is no one else I trust to do it better." Kelly nodded to show that she understood.

"Very well, that wraps it up. Don't have too much fun while I'm gone. I'll be back before you know it."

"Bye Jack!" called Tali, waving. "Oh, and Shepard, you too. Buy me something nice!"

"We will Tals!" called Jack over her shoulder.

"See ya, Captain," said Joker as we passed him by. "Have fun."

"You keep my baby safe, you hear?"

"Aye aye sir."

"Thank you. And just for that, you can take off that dress and change into something sensible now."

"Aye aye sir!"

**xxxx**

Joker dropped us off on the Citadel and we caught a shuttle headed to Bekenstein, which in galactic terms was right next door. Another thing I liked about Jack was that she traveled light. In the Marines I quickly learned the importance of stowing everything you needed in one bag, which could be slung over one shoulder. Jack was similar, but for her it was more about not caring as much for things.

"Stuff is stuff, y'know?" she said one day. "It breaks, you lose it, you can't rely on it." I had to agree. She carried only one bag as well. I would have carried it for her but she shrugged me off.

It was somewhat comforting to just relax in the passenger shuttle on the way to Bekenstein. After a while I figured out why. As a kid I was often left to my own devices on board ship, and shuttle traveling brought back good memories of going down planetside where my mum could meet up with my dad. It was pleasant to while the time away with a good book (Harlan Ellison, for the record) and let someone else worry about the _Normandy_, where it was going, and the safety of everybody on board.

Jack wasn't reading, she was typing something in the personal datapad I'd bought for her. She was totally absorbed in it, fingers flying and brow furrowed in concentration. I got more and more intrigued until I finally put my book down and tried to peek over her shoulder. She smacked me lightly on the cheek.

"No looking."

"What are you doing?"

"I said no looking! I'm not done yet anyway."

"Are you writing something?"

"Maybe."

"Wait are you on the Citadel forums again? I told you to try out that profanity filter Kasumi wrote for you. Did she undo your last ban?"

"It's not that Jack, it's...it's something else."

"Something else I can't see," I said with mock severity.

"For now."

"For now? You're going to let me read it later?"

"You keep bothering me I won't let you."

"Fine. Be that way. I don't care what it is anyway," I said, deliberately sounding childish. Jack rolled her eyes but went right back to work on the datapad. I was even more intrigued.

"Is it a love letter?"

"What? No!"

"I bet it is. I bet you're writing a _lurve _letter to your handsome and dashing captain. I'm flattered Jackie, but you really didn't have to."

"Jack, shut up right now or I'm blasting you through the hull."

"Fine, fine."

"Good."

"As long as it's better than I-choo-choo-choose-you I don't mind."

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"Jack you are hella annoying."

"It's the vacation time sweetie. I feel so much more relaxed already."

"_Sweetie?_"

"What?"

"Since when do you call me sweetie?"

"You don't like it?"

"No!"

"What if we just try it out for a while. I could say 'Hello sweetie' at opportune and dramatic moments when I see you. How does that sound?"

"Terrible. It makes me sound like a dessert."

"But you are my little cupcake," I said, making puppy-dog eyes at Jack. Her expression suggested I was an inch away from being flattened. But that's what I liked about Jack and myself. I alone could dance on the edge with her without ever...quite...crossing it.

"The hell I am. I'm tough as nails."

"It could be a nail cupcake. I bet Grunt would eat a nail cupcake if you gave him one. Boy loves his cake."

"Jack," she said, in a warning tone. The other shuttle passengers were also starting to look curiously at us.

I put my finger over my lips in a shushing motion and peace once again reigned in the shuttle.

**Grand Copthorne Hotel**

**Bekenstein**

I climbed into the limo that came to pick us up from the spaceport, giving a low whistle of amazement. It was big enough to seat forty people (or eighty clowns) and the feel of plush leather seats on my ass was nothing short of divine. I pressed a button experimentally and snatched up the crystal flute of champagne that popped up with delight.

"This is absolutely marvellous," I said, revelling in all the luxury.

Jack sat back with a smirk. "And you thought I didn't have the smarts to plan everything."

"No way, I had absolute confidence in you the whole time," I said, nodding sanctimoniously. Jack didn't get annoyed however. Instead, her evil smile grew wider.

"You know...this limo is pretty roomy..." she said with malicious intent.

My heart beat a little faster. Here? Now? But like hell I was going to say no. Only afterwards when Jack was putting her top back on and I was re-buttoning my jeans did it occur to me that maybe I should have checked to see whether the partition separating us from the driver was really soundproof.

In a while we were dropped off at one of the classiest hotels on Bekenstein. In the first mad rush to colonise the stars, Bekenstein was intended to serve as a manufacturing planet. After a while the rest of the Council races got tired of the novelty factor of human products. The place was beginning to resemble a ghost town before some smart governor decided to shift the planet's focus to luxury and high end goods, as well as five-star tourism. The economy quickly started booming again, although along with it came the attendant ills of rampant inflation, astronomical costs and 18-hour work days. The most common cause of death on Bekenstein was suicide. The most common crime was embezzlement, followed closely by murder as the corporate thugs did their masters' bidding.

Still, if you had the coin, there was nowhere else in the galaxy you could be better pampered than on Bekenstein. While I hadn't joined the Alliance to make money, from confiscating Cerberus's ill-gotten gains and selling off excess captured weaponry, by anyone's standards I had become a very wealthy man indeed. And it is a universal truth that whenever a man has money, his girlfriend will spend it.

I had gotten used to my relatively comfortable quarters on board the Normandy, it was a hell of a change from sleeping in a muddy ditch in the rain (which I've done) or in a cave while a snowstorm raged outside (which I've also done). But this was above the _Normandy _as my ship was above the bed I had once built for myself made entirely out of dry grass and ash.

Chandeliers. Marbles. Fountains. Old guys and ladies in black suits playing classical music. Any one of the decorative jewels on the decorative mirrors alone could have bought a farm and some land on one of the poorer colonies. We probably looked like a couple of hicks, admiring the gold and gilt all around us, but I didn't care. After everything we had been through, it felt right to enjoy a little creature comforts. We checked in and spent half an hour just wandering around and admiring the room. From the balcony we had a spectacular view of skyscrapers so high they broke the cloud cover, sparkling lights and colour everywhere. It was a little urban for my tastes, but it would definitely do. Finally I threw myself onto the bed and bounced around like a little kid. Jack laughed, and proceeded to do the same.

**xxxx**

It was the most enjoyable week I had in an extremely long time. We went around town, seeing the sights and generally acting like a normal couple. I liked it. I hadn't had too much normal in my life lately, and I was grateful for every little moment.

But as I ate popcorn and splashed water and went for walks with my girlfriend, I could never quite quell the nagging doubt in the back of my mind, the heavy, significant words that my good friend Mordin Solus had seen fit to share with me.

_I sat there and listened as Mordin explained everything. How Jack's biotic powers were slowly killing her. How she would be lucky to see fifty. How she would probably spend the last few years of her life in a semi-comatose state, unable to move or even talk. Mordin was a good scientist. He didn't leave out a single fact. He spelled everything out in methodical, painful detail._

_"And this isn't curable?" I asked quietly._

_Mordin inhaled sharply. "Not with current technology. Might be able to develop cure in future. Science marches ever on."_

I had faced down the biggest, scariest threats the galaxy had to offer. But I had trouble summoning the courage needed to look my girlfriend in the eyes and tell her that she was going to die, and spend the final few months or even years of her life in unthinkable agony. It had to be soon. I couldn't let this haunt me forever. One way or another, I had to sit down with Jack and tell her the truth. I would listen to what she had to say, and hold her if she wanted me to. And then after that, we would move on together.

After a satisfying workout in the hotel gym, I walked into our hotel room to see something that took my breath away. Jack was wearing a full-length, slinky red dress that left her back bare and her ink on display for the world to see. She had spiked up her dark mohawk, and the contrast was striking to behold.

"You like what you see?" said Jack. She was as belligerent as if she was facing down a Cerberus squad on the battlefield.

I shut my mouth with a snap. Then I opened it again. "You look amazing."

Jack rubbed her arm and looked away. I continued staring, marvelling at how beautiful she looked.

"I thought it would be kinda fun, y'know. Change things up." She smirked, and I could feel the tension drain out of her body. "Keep you guessing."

"Well, I like it. I mean you look stunning every day, in anything, but this is something else."

Jack threw a dark suit at me, which I caught with one hand.

"Suit up, soldier. Welcome to the highlight of our little trip here."

"I thought that was the thing we did on the observation deck of that skyscraper yesterday -"

She waved a hand, cutting me off. "Jack, I'm taking you to a performance of _Return of the Jedi._"

"_No. Way._"

"Do I look like I'm kidding?"

"But that's...that's my favourite play of _all time..._how did you know?"

Jack laughed, clearly delighted by my reaction. "Kasumi told me you liked all that ancient Earth stuff, and I asked EDI to help me hack some of your journal entries and you were crazy about them way back then."

"You did what? Jackie, that's not something you should be doing."

Jack stared at me, clearly wrong-footed. "Aren't you glad?" she asked finally.

I hesitated. I didn't want to make her unhappy. But I owed it to her to tell her the truth.

"I'm really grateful you bought me these tickets. And that you took the trouble to make sure it was something I would enjoy. But you can't just go hacking into my personal information without letting me know."

"If I had let you know it wouldn't be a surprise, would it?" asked Jack, fairly reasonably. The fact that she wasn't swearing nor threatening me with violence was a testament of how far she'd come since the depths of Purgatory.

I thought about launching into a spiel on the road to hell being paved with good intentions, but I decided against it. For one thing, I really, _really _wanted to see the _Return of the Jedi _opera, which was about the only high culture performance piece I could remember sitting through, absolutely enraptured, as a kid.

The second thing is that I felt incredibly guilty about lecturing Jack on the evils of finding out personal information about someone else behind her back. All she did was to find out what I liked so she could make me happy. I was sitting on the knowledge that she could die the next time she used her abilities.

"You're right. Thank you," I said finally. I turned away so that she couldn't see my face, and changed into the fancier outfit.

**Tam Centre for the Performing Arts**

**Bekenstein**

We were getting a lot of stares and whispers in the grand foyer. Although some of it was no doubt directed at Jack and her unique appearance, I noted that more people seemed to recognise me. These were the cream of the Alliance social scene, the grand dames and brash young things who lived on one planet and owned half of another. I had always thought they were almost deliberately uninterested and uninformed on galactic politics and the Alliance's expansion to the stars. Clearly, I was wrong.

To her credit Jack didn't glare back too much. Instead of holding my arm like the other ladies were doing with their partners, she moved on ahead and trusted me to keep up. She presented her Omni-Tool for scanning by a short guy with a pencil moustache and a waistcoat, who looked scandalised by her tattoos. I moved beside Jack, put an arm around her waist and gave the usher a pointed look. He got the hint and waved us in.

I headed for the main seats, but Jack tugged on my arm and pointed to the staircase which led to the private gallery boxes.

"Fancy."

"Thought you deserved it. I'm not so sure now."

"Jackie, I -"

"Save it for later Jack. Let's just try to enjoy the show, ok?"

I fell silent, frustrated. But she was right. I went up to the private box, determined to have a good time and not spoil the night. After a security guard checked our tickets once more, we were waved into the private box. The luxury of my surroundings seemed like a good start. There was a buffet table covered with plates and plates of all kinds of food. Delicate pastries, grilled seafood, fresh veggies, roasted meats, and sparkly bottles of some assuredly alcoholic liquid. Soft music was playing, the lights were dimmed to a suitably romantic intensity. Two comfortable looking seats faced a small balcony of sorts with a glass viewing wall where we had an excellent view of the stage and the people seated below. I snagged a fluted glass of champagne and settled into my seat as Jack did the same beside me, prepared to be swept up to a galaxy far, far away a long time ago.

**xxxx**

My mother had many talents, but art appreciation wasn't one of them. On the rare days when she wasn't on board ship, she much preferred kicking back and watching a game than to visit a theatre. It was my father who destroyed the myth of the culturally-illiterate grunt by being more knowledgeable about the arts than anyone I had ever met. Although I much preferred to run around and kick a ball with my friends, I enjoyed the times when I sat down with Alan Shepard, either to watch a play or just talk about it. I couldn't claim that I understood half of what he was telling me, but I could see he was happy and that made me happy too.

He held special love for _Return of the Jedi, _even though it was incredibly old, and I thought I could understand why. It was the first of its kind. It was about space. It was the triumph of good over evil. But at its heart, it was a story of a father's love for his son. My dad, with his romantic soul, would have a strong appreciation for that.

The actor playing Luke was doing an excellent job. I watched, enthralled, as he writhed on the stage in pain as the Emperor 'tortured' him. Vader was waiting in the wings, looking from his master to his son, agonising over the decision he knew he had to make.

Sometime during the performance I had reached out my hand and after a moment, Jack had taken it. We sat in comfortable silence, her hand in mind, watching the opera together.

I was lost in another world, but there was some part of me that was always on the alert. It was the part that had been drilled and drilled and pushed to the brink during the fires of my N7 training and the war with the geth and the Collectors. Ever since my cybernetic upgrades courtesy of Cerberus, it seemed to me that my reflexes were even sharper than it seemed humanly possible. It gave me half a second, maybe one extra notice during emergencies. It might not seem like much, but it was enough.

It was that part that had me turning my head when the door was kicked down. When the noise reached my ears, I had on instinct kicked out with both legs straight ahead of me against the wall in front. I was launched backwards on my back, and the shot that was aimed at the back of my skull missed and exploded the glass viewing wall into a million pieces.

There was a flash of blue and a smell of burning ozone, and I knew that Jack had thrown up a biotic wall to protect herself from the flying shards. I hit the ground and rolled to one side, coming up to a crouch in one smooth motion. My hand dropped to my side, another instinctive move, but before it got there I realised I had left my weapons behind. The Tam Centre's security was said to be impeccable.

Before Jack could do anything I pushed off the ground, headed to my right, hurtling towards the entrance and the intruders, the last move they would expect. In the absence of a ranged weapon, the only option left was to close the distance. Another shot rang out, one that would have burned a hole through my torso had I charged ahead straight on. Dimly, I was aware of the shocked cries from the rest of the audience in the theatre.

I saw a lot of things in those few seconds before my arms reached the people who had tried to kill us. The body of the security guard, missing a head, lying on the floor of the corridor outside. The two thugs in combat grade armour, toting shotguns that looked of krogan-make. Jack somewhere to my left, covered in the familiar blue biotic sheath of defensive energy, rocketing forward like I was.

But most of all, I saw someone I had never seen before in my life. An Asian man with a top-knot, and high-tech goggles over his eyes. He was encased in black body armour and had what seemed like a katana strapped to his side, as ridiculous as that sounded. It felt like an eternity passed in the time that my eyes locked on his. There was anger. Shock. And a dawning fear.

Then I hit the ninja-looking would-be assassin and we barrelled into the corridor outside.

Jack took on both of the ninja's mercs by herself, screaming with rage as their shots bounced harmlessly off her biotic shield. I had managed to get my thumb between the ninja's finger and the trigger of his gun, but he was trying to pop out my eyeball with his other hand and I barely avoided being blinded.

He was fighting dirtier than anyone I had ever faced before. There were any number of evil bastards in the galaxy out for my blood, but the number one with a bullet had to be Cerberus. Surrounded by my crew, on my ship, they would have waited. Even this assassin wouldn't be dumb enough to challenge me on my own turf, instead waiting until I was exposed and had lowered my guard. I had no weapons, no armour, nothing but my wits and my fists.

Oh, and I had Jack too. Out of the corner of my eye I could see her wrench the shotgun from one of the merc's hands using only her mind, disassemble the gun with every piece pulled out and suspended in midair in front of her, and dropped to the ground. But she was sweating, her dress was torn, her teeth were bared and I didn't know how much longer she could last. I needed to end this quickly. Not only for myself, but for her sake as well.

There was a chance as I rammed my knee into the ninja's groin. I nearly broke my own knee, the bastard still had his armour on, but his instinctive reaction to flinch gave me the opportunity I needed to swing at his unprotected jaw with all my might. The punch connected and I felt bone break. He looked tough, but Miranda had done _something _to my skeleton when she stitched me back together. On the evidence, is was stronger than anyone else's.

One of Jack's mercs was down, but the other had skipped around her furious biotic blasts and was firing wildly from inside our private room. Jack aimed a shockwave at him that caught him full on and he toppled over the balcony and into the crowd below, most of whom were stampeding for the exits. Without missing a beat Jack leapt over the edge after him.

But I had this ninja assassin to deal with. Luckily his katana was far too big to use in such close quarters, and his assault rifle wasn't going to help much either. But I knew I could not give him that second he needed. I was hitting every part of him I could reach, ignoring the pain when my fists cracked his armour, trying to keep him disoriented and off balance. Most people had seen me fight with a gun in my hand and enemies at sniper distance away. This guy had never seen me fight up close, and I was counting on that to give me the edge I needed.

The bastard pushed me away and raised his pistol, but before he could shoot I kicked him down the stairs. As he tumbled backward out of sight I had a second to think. Should I go after him, and finish the job, or should I leap over the edge of the balcony and get back to Jack?

To my mild surprise my legs were taking me back into the private room before I had time to finish the thought. It was Jack. Always.

I sailed over the edge of the balcony and dropped the three stories down to the theatre seats below, bouncing off one with one foot, rolling along the aisle and popping back up on my feet like I had been trained. Again my hand dropped to mid-thigh where my holster would have been and again I cursed myself for forgetting.

This is what I saw. Not all of the audience had managed to get away. There were still a lot of people, bunched around the door, crouching in the corners. They were watching me, watching Jack, with wide eyes and open mouths. Why didn't they run? Sometimes you're just frozen in place, unable to do anything but stare even as danger comes for you. That's the civilian thing to do.

But Jack and I were different. We acted. That was why as the cream of Bekenstein's society screamed or merely stared, Jack was firing biotic bolts at the second merc thug near the sage and I was racing up to join her.

"Need help?"

"There you are. Glad you could make it."

The merc spun and fired at me. I dodged out of the way and Jack threw up a shield that saved a man in a top hat from being bisected. Her eyes closed for a moment as she felt the impact of the shot against her mental shield.

"Jackie!"

"'m alright," she said, a little too quickly.

I had to end this. I lunged for the merc, managing to knock his gun out of his grip. But my face was exposed and the he kicked me across the jaw. The world exploded. My mouth was gushing blood, and I spat it out, along with broken tooth.

But he was unarmed. And for a moment, overconfident. My head was roaring with agony, but I fought to clear it while at the same time acting like I was more hurt than I really was. It was an old trick, and really difficult to learn (the N7 medic warned me of brain damage if I took any more kicks to the head back when I was trying to master it) and useless against some enemies. The geth for example.

But for a human opponent? Especially some merc who the ninja probably hired in a bar somewhere? It gave me the edge I needed.

The big lug made the mistake of coming within my reach and I hit him with the tips of my fingers, driving in straight into his fleshy throat. Even though I was seeing double, I hit him again, exact same spot, which is even harder to pull off than you think. I liked throat strikes. It instantly makes your enemy stop what he's doing and gasp for breath. Gives you more time. While he wheezed and coughed fit to burst, I moved behind him and wrapped my arms around his neck in a triangle choke. He struggled and kicked, but I clung on grimly and it was over in a few seconds.

I let him drop and moved away, feeling exhausted all of a sudden. Jack was by my side in an instant.

"You ok love?"

"Yeah. You?"

"I really wish I had my gun."

"You're not doing too bad without it. Was it Cerberus?"

"Yup."

"Stupid bastards. I'm going to kill them."

"Please."

There was a ragged cheer from the crowd that I had forgotten about. I rubbed my head and tried not to stare back. They were put in danger because of me, but now they were safe because of me. That was the way it should be. Jack and I exchanged a brief smile.

An ominous rumbling made both of us look up. The lights were dim, but I could see cracks forming in the ceiling. A shower of dust rained down on us. Then pieces of rubble. I shot a look at the door. Too far. Much too far away.

I had underestimated Cerberus. They were more imaginative than I gave them credit for. The assassin knew it wasn't worth his trouble to make a big mess of things when he could just shoot me in the back of the head and escape. But if that failed, he would have a backup plan standing by. Plan B apparently was to detonate the foundations of the Tam Centre and bring it crashing down directly on top of my head.

I wanted to look at Jack one last time. Tell her I loved her and that I was sorry. But there was not enough time.

The last thing I saw was Jack standing in the centre of the chaos, arms raised above her head, blue energy crackling around her like fire from the heavens.

**xxxx**

I groaned in the darkness. There was a large weight pressing down on my head. I tried to move my arms and legs and found out that I could not move them. I began to panic, then realised they were pinned down by similarly heavy weights. I coughed, then realised I could hear something else. Someone breathing.

"...Jackie?"

No answer. I stretched out my hand as far as it could go and felt her warmth underneath my fingertips.

I don't know how long we lay there, just me and her in the dark. Then I heard her gasp, and cough too.

"Jack?"

"I'm here. I'm here."

"What happened?"

"You saved our lives, I think. Thank you."

"I tried to throw a shield up," said Jack, moving her arm around so she could hold my hand. The simple contact seemed to give me new strength. "For everyone."

That shook me. "Everyone? You mean everyone in the room?"

Jack grunted an affirmative. "Seemed like...something...you would have done."

I had no time to think more on what she said. There were more urgent matters at hand.

"How's your head? Do you have a headache?"

"Jack, there's a ton of rock on it."

"No, this is serious. Do you feel a pounding in your head?"

"It...hurts. A little," admitted Jack.

"Ok Jackie, you have to listen to me. Don't try to use your biotic powers."

"What? Why? We need to get out of here."

"Don't!" My sharp tone produced a shocked silence from her. I went on. "Don't use them until we get out of here. The Bekenstein paramedics and rescue crews will be here soon. They'll dig us out."

"Jack, what the fuck is going on?"

"I'll explain later. Once we're back on board ship."

After an eternity the rescue teams dug us out of the rubble, along with the other survivors. They didn't appear to recognise me, or Jack. As soon as we were able we slipped away and I called Miranda to come and pick us up. We didn't go back to the hotel for our things. Stuff was stuff.

We waited, nerves on edge, under a small tree in the middle of a quiet park a few streets away. It was open enough for us to see anyone coming, and the nearest buildings were out of sniper range. We waited, and we talked. We didn't talk of the reason why I had pleaded with her not to use her biotics. Instead Jack started to tell me, slowly and hesitatingly at first, but faster as she gained confidence, about her recent foray into poetry. The piece she had been working on our flight to Bekenstein. That surprised me. Jack never lacked for confidence unless it was to deal with the things that really mattered to her.

_My soul _

_Burns _

_With a fire of darkness _

_Quenched only in the pain _

_Of loneliness _

_I hold my breath waiting _

_Until spots appear black as the past _

_And fill my lungs up with lies of hope _

_I mark myself _

_Black and jagged _

_To cover the scars _

_That make me a monster _

_A warning _

_This is not a place of honour _

_No esteemed dead are buried here _

She said slowly, while I held her close. To my uncultured ear, it wasn't very good. It didn't even rhyme. But I sensed that my father would have liked it. To him art wasn't about its technical brilliance. It was about expressing what you needed to express. And if Jack had taken to using words to say what she needed to say and give her a little bit more peace of mind, then I would encourage her.

After a while a familiar whirring noise made me look up. The _Normandy _was in the air above us. It was time to go home.

**Communications and Briefings Room**

**The Normandy**

"John, what the bloody hell happened? Can't you have one nice quiet holiday without blowing things up?"

I glared at Miranda. She was still wearing her pseudo-Captain's uniform, arms crossed, giving me a glare of her own. When we came on board Joker had whispered she had tried to mutiny and declare herself Supreme Leader. I wasn't so sure he was joking now.

"It was a Cerberus assassin," I sighed at last. "Some ninja-looking son of a bitch tried to kill me. Nearly did."

"You wouldn't be talking about Kai Leng, would you?" asked Miranda, shocked.

"I don't know who that is, Miri."

Miranda described him and I nodded assent.

"I've never met him, but I've heard of him" said Miranda. "The Illusive Man only uses him for really extreme situations. It looks like he's getting desperate."

"Tell me everything you know about him later. But for now, please let me know if you heard anything from the Bekenstein emergency transmissions."

There were a few casualties, including the security guard posted outside our private box in the theatre. But most of the audience had survived the collapse. The Bekenstein records and police chatter had established that they fully expected to die, had it not for been for a well-timed biotic shield. Jack had saved them. Because it was what I would have done.

Miranda was about to dive into a detailed report of what she had been up to while I was away, but I stood up from my seat, signalling that the meeting was adjourned for now.

"I need to speak with Jack, Miri. It's important. We'll go over the rest of this later."

Miranda's pursed her lips, but let us leave without further comment. When we were back in my quarters, I sat down on the little table, Jack on the couch.

"Alright Jack. What is it that you need to tell me?"

I looked at her. I looked into her big dark eyes, cool and without fear, so different from the wild, barely-human girl who had been turned into a weapon by Cerberus. She had come a long way, and whether she would be ready for my news or not, I didn't know. But I had to trust her. I had to give her that chance, at least.

I explained Mordin's findings and analysis as best as I could, telling Jack that the brutal nature of Cerberus's upgrades and implants and the continual use of her powers was pushing her brain and her body beyond breaking point. That if she continued to fight by my side, she could die. Or worse, have an aneurysm and slip into a vegetative state, hovering between life and death, unable to recognise me and say my name.

She took the news better than I expected.

"This comes from the Doc?"

"Yes."

"Then I believe him."

Jack didn't look mad, or frightened. She looked completely at ease.

"Jack look, I know you're confused. But you see, I've never really thought I would have lived this long. Hell, I thought I would die years ago. I never really had anything to live for."

"Until you met me."

"Full of ourselves, aren't we?" she replied with a smirk. "But yes you big fucker, until I met you. Now I have something to live for."

"Not that I'm saying I'm disappointed or anything, but you're taking this much better than I expected."

"We're all going to die. One way or another. You know there's a war coming. We might not even live to see it."

"When it comes I'll need to do my bit."

"And you will. But here and now...we're alive. This is what counts. This is what matters, don't you see?"

Jack took my hand and pressed it against her chest. Usually this meant she was in the mood for something else, but there was something different about this time. I could feel her heart beat, strong and fast, steady and solid, ticking on and on. She reached out and placed a hand on my chest, and I knew she was feeling the same thing.

"Jack, I'm yours. And you're mine. I'm never going to leave you, as long as you don't want me to."

"Of course I want you to -"

"Shh, let me finish. It's my choice, you see? My choice to leave or stay. You've given me the freedom to make that choice. I'm staying because I want to. I fight for you because I want to. I love you because I want to. And if I happen to die...well, I'll die because I want to. My choice. No one else."

Jack smiled, and I felt an intense surge of emotion well up inside me. She got it. She really got it. After all that Cerberus had done to her, she understood what being in love meant, what it costs and what it gives you. I felt like I loved her more than ever before in that moment. But despite all that, I needed to say what was on my mind.

"But I don't want you to die."

"That's not up to you," said Jack easily. "The time I have left, I'm choosing to spend it with you. Do you understand?"

"Yes. Yes, I do. But, we'll take precautions ok? No unnecessary risks. We'll talk to Dr. Chakwas, see what we can do to slow this thing down. We'll do everything we can."

"Of course we will," said Jack with another smile. A sweeter, sad one this time. I knew deep in my heart the reason why. We were in denial. No matter what we did or tried to do, we knew what Cerberus had done to Jack would kill her eventually. It was all a matter of time now.

Out of the blue, something from my childhood struck me, Every gift but length of years, my father used to say to himself. It was later that I found out he was thinking of the man for whom I was named. Still later, I learnt the lesson that went with it. Everyone dies. But what we choose to do before then was what mattered in the final analysis.

I learned it at the feet of my dad. Jack had learned it, apparently, by hanging out with me. The realisation made me proud. What I did mattered because she was paying attention. I had done a lot during my years of service, but being able to teach Jack the things that mattered to me was right at the top of my list of accomplishments.

EDI suddenly chimed in, interrupting my thoughts.

"Captain? XO Lawson has a message for you from the Communications Room. We have received a top-secret transmission, coded for your eyes only."

"Who is it, EDI?"

"It appears to be Admiral Steven Hackett of the Humanity Systems Alliance Navy, Captain."

**EDIT: **I originally wrote this chapter with Zaeed returning as the assassin, but I couldn't bring myself to turn him completely evil once I learned of Robin Sach's untimely death. So I changed it to everyone's favourite asshole Cerberus assassin instead. Sorry if there was any confusion!


	31. Here And Now

**Chapter 31 – Here And Now**

**Bridge**

**The Normandy**

"Captain? Captain, are you alright?" Joker had actually stood up from his chair. His eyes were wide in shock, his mouth hanging open.

I fiddled with my helmet's catch release, let it drop onto the floor and sucked in a good lungful of clean fresh air. The post-mission tension, the delayed stress reactions from the battle I had just fought and the enormity of the crime I had just committed finally caught up with me. I sank to the floor of the Normandy'sbridge and just tried to breathe for a while.

"'M ok, Joker," I managed to mumble a reply. "Just get us out of here."

The Normandy banked sharply as it headed for the mass relay, causing me to slide a little. The sound of pounding footsteps made me look up. Miranda and Garrus were running towards me, looking extremely rattled.

"Hi guys," I said, attempting to summon up a smile. From the way Joker recoiled, he had seen better smiles on corpses.

"John, what happened? Are you hurt?" Miranda asked urgently.

"I'm..." I wanted to say _I'm fine _but I couldn't. I wasn't fine. Maybe I never would be.

Harbinger's voice, echoing in my head. Finding its way into the cracks. Getting past my defenses and taking root. I would never forget how old, how alien, how _wrong _it sounded, even if I lived to be as old as an asari.

"Help me get my armour off," was all I could say. Miranda and Garrus exchanged a worried glance, but Garrus did as I asked.

Jack rushed up from below deck, looking as worried as I've ever seen her. Without saying anything she took one of my arms, draped it across her shoulders and helped me to stand up. I was grateful for the support. I couldn't think straight at the moment. I felt weak, unhinged, as if everything I knew was spinning around and falling apart.

"Jack. What's wrong?" whispered Jack, her mouth level with my ear.

"Harbinger. The Reapers. The batarians..." I began, then trailed off into silence. What could I say? There weren't enough words for what I did.

"It wasn't your fault. You had no choice."

"Maybe I didn't. But I still feel like shit. Just...I need to get to my room. I need to report to Admiral Hackett immediately."

"He can wait -"

"No Jackie. I need to speak to him now."

Something in my voice got through to Jack, because she didn't say another word, but helped me to the elevator and my cabin. It was my little space, my quiet corner of the universe where I could escape and sit and think about stuff and leave the responsibilities of my uniform behind for brief, far-too-short moments. Once out the door I was Captain Shepard, with all the name and rank entailed. Inside it was just Jack and I, each finding the time and space to truly be ourselves.

I needed a moment – just a moment to calm down. And then I had to report to Hackett.

I sat on the bed with my head in my hands while Jack leaned against a wall and watched me carefully.

"Could I have some water please?" I said after a while.

"Here."

Jack passed me a glass and I gulped it down, spilling some. I wiped my mouth with a shaking hand and took a deep breath.

"Jack, what's going on? What happened down there?"

"I destroyed the mass relay."

Jack's eyes narrowed. "You did what? The one we just went through?"

"I borrowed a krogan trick. Or yours that one time with the hanar, if you prefer. The Bahak system relay is gone."

"Why did you do it?"

"Because if I didn't, the Reapers would be knocking on the doors of the Citadel right about now."

"The Reapers?" And to my horror, there was actual fear in her voice. Nothing scared me more than Jack being scared. "Here? Now?"

"Almost. They were trying to access the relay."

"But...but that's good, isn't it? Now it's gone. Now they can't."

"Yes, but destroying that relay wiped out everything standing in that system, Jackie," I said, my voice shaking. "Three hundred thousand batarians all dead before they could blink."

Jack stared at me, at a loss for words. Perhaps she was itching to say "_But they were only batarians,_" if not for the fact I had told her before I felt very strongly about a statement like that.

"You still did the right thing," she said at last, sounding hollow and not at all convinced.

"I know. So why do I feel like shit?"

I stood up before Jack could give me an answer to that and spoke to the thin air.

"EDI, please take a message to Admiral Hackett."

"Captain, I have received a tightbeam transmission from the flagship of the Alliance Fifth Fleet," replied the AI immediately. "Admiral Hackett is requesting our current coordinates. It appears he wishes to speak to you in person, and without delay."

I sighed and rubbed my eyes. It seemed that Hackett had moved faster than me this once.

"Give him what he wants EDI. I knew I was going to see him sooner or later. Just not that it would be after I destroyed an entire system."

"Sir?"

"I'll be in the Med Bay," I said, without elaborating further.

**Medical Bay**

**Normandy **

I certainly was no stranger to the Med Bay. But after what I had just been through, Dr Chakwas insisted on a full-scale, rigorous checkup. After a while she had called Mordin in from his own lab. That was unsettling, as usually Karin didn't like sharing her medical duties with Mordin. Partly out of a slight distrust for the mad doctor's methods and partly out of a belief that the health and wellbeing of the Normandy's crew was her duty and hers alone. But she apparently felt the need for some extra help, and I hoped this didn't signal my impending doom.

"Well there appears to be no major limb damage or physical trauma, but we spotted a nasty unidentified toxin in your bloodstream," said Dr Chakwas, after a lengthy physical interrogation.

"What?" I said, half-rising from my bed.

"No cause for concern," said Mordin. Med Bay scanners running thorough tests. Likely a sedative. Will synthesise antidote within fifty two minutes. Would help if you could tell us what happened."

"I was captured and sedated by Dr Kenson and her team. And probably had a probe shoved up my ass while I was unconscious."

"Have found no probes in rectal cavity during initial search. Will conduct another search to make sure. Kidding, kidding," said Mordin, when he saw my glare. Dr Chakwas however looked shocked.

"Dr Kenson? Why would she do that?"

"Long story short – she was indoctrinated," I said. Karin's lips tightened in a grim line.

"We'll go over everything once more," she said. "We can't take any risks with your health, Jack."

Joker's voice cut in over the intercom. "Captain, Admiral Hackett's shuttle is requesting permission to come aboard."

"Granted. I'll go see him."

"You're not going anywhere," Dr Chakwas said, gently pushing me back down. "If Steven wants to speak to you, he can do it here."

"But -"

"No. Risks."

"Ok, ok."

The Admiral appeared in less than a minute, accompanied by two body guards. I sat up and ripped off a proper salute, which he returned with grim formality.

In a galaxy filled with heroes and hard men, Steven Hackett's legend was greater than any ten combined. He was one of an elite group of Alliance men who had made the climb from lowly ensign all the way to an Admiral, going through hell and coming back out again the long, hard way. His craggy, weathered face bore the scars of the battles he'd been in, battles that took place before advanced skin surgery technology was invented, giving you a stark reminder that he was an officer who had once been down in the muck and blood same as any Marine.

Hackett was that rarest of rare men, a member of the brass who hadn't forgotten what it was like to be on the front lines. An officer who navigated both politics and war with ease. An incorruptible man whom I had looked up to the most, alongside David Anderson, ever since my father died.

The burden of my failure, for failing _him,_ was almost too much to bear.

"Karin," said Hackett, addressing Dr Chakwas. His voice as ever was low, gravelly and controlled. No one could remember him ever raising it above a growl. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, Steven," replied Dr Chakwas. I didn't know she was on first name terms with the Admiral, maybe she'd tell me why one of these days. "Please try not to antagonise my patient."

"There'll be no need. But a little privacy, maybe?"

"Of course. Boys, if you'd just follow me out..."

A nod from Hackett and his bodyguards disappeared along with Karin and Mordin.

Hackett turned the full force of his icy blue gaze on me. I felt like a raw recruit again, fresh out of the Academy. "Shepard. How are you feeling?"

"Ok, mostly," I said, trying to keep my voice calm. "The docs think they've discovered something in my system, but they've got it under wraps. Surprised you'd step on a Cerberus ship, though."

"From what I've heard, I'm not so sure this is a Cerberus ship any more," said Hackett, with a ghost of a smile on his face. Then it was gone in an instant.

"You went out there as a favour to me. I decided to debrief you in person. That was before the mass relay exploded and destroyed an entire batarian star system. What the _hell _happened down there, Commander?" he said, voice vibrating with controlled anger.

I didn't bother correcting him on the use of my old rank. Time to face the music.

"Have you received any intel on what happened?"

"All I know is that I asked you to help break Amanda Kenson out of prison. Solo op, under the radar, quick and clean. Now I'm hearing that an entire star system is destroyed. I'm hoping you could help me fill in the leap in logic between these two events."

Sarcasm. Boy, was he furious. Hackett was never sarcastic if he could help it. He usually said what he meant and had little patience for time wasting. Then again, I doubted anyone else had contravened his orders as spectacularly as I did.

**Batarian Incarceration Facility**

**Aratoht, Bahak System, Viper Nebula**

**2 days ago**

The little room didn't seem to be heavily guarded. I'd already taken care of the patrols on the outer perimeter, disposing of each guard quickly and cleanly, with minimal noise. I'd watched and waited, lurking in the shadows for a while, but there didn't seem to be any resistance left.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it a little. I had gotten so used to leading a large team in direct, frontal assaults. But this – this was pure spec ops. No Jack to watch my back. No Garrus to watch the skies. No calling in Joker for a last minute save. It was just one man on a mission, with all the tools I needed strapped onto my armour. I had gotten used to blowing things up, it had been a long time since I had to be stealthy.

Batarians didn't go much for aesthetics when it came to designing their bases. They had a strictly functional mindset when it came to buildings like these, using stone when alloys and smart plastics were in short supply. Comfort wasn't big on the agenda either, with a distinct lack of fluffy pillows and comfy chairs around. But the base also revealed the truth about the Hegemony's problems ever since they had left the Citadel community. There were holes in the roof that hadn't been repaired in a long time. Rainwater dripped onto the floor, forming little pools that reflected the dim lights placed intermittently around. Not a nice place for a vacation, but good for sneaking about.

Dr Amanda Kenson was somewhere in this labyrinth. I'd read up on her during the flight over. A bonafide genius with multiple doctorates in astrophysics, one of the youngest ever professors to gain tenure at Arcturus University. She'd made galactic headlines by claiming that it was impossible for the mass relays to be as old as Prothean civilisation, as current theory claimed they were. They had to be older, which cast doubts on the accepted knowledge that the Protheans built the mass relays. Half the galaxy called her a crazy kook, the other half ignored her, with a small percentage of people going 'Hmm...she might be on to something.' After what I'd gone through with the Reapers, I was more inclined to agree.

She had taken a strictly civilian, science and research team to investigate some leads on the Reapers and had gotten incarcerated by the batarians for her trouble. Would I be glad to help? Of course I would.

The batarians were loudly claiming to anyone who would listen that Dr Kenson's team was actually a front for a sinister team dedicated to stealing Prothean artifacts from their system, fiddling with Reaper technology and destroying the mass relay in the Bahak system for good measure. Hysterical lies, of course. The batarians would claim that they had two eyes if it would result in trouble for a human.

I hacked the lock as quickly as possible and sidled into the room. It was like something out of a horror movie. Dr Kenson was strapped to something that looked like a huge torture device, with her arms and legs pinned to her side, a thick collar around her neck and nasty looking needles from which bolts of electricity were leaping drawing ever closer to her face. A batarian in a suit of armour was standing at a control panel, apparently moving the needles about.

I tapped him on the back. When he whirled around in surprise, I shot him in the face. He crumpled to the floor, blood leaking from his ruined helmet.

"Who are you?" cried Dr Kenson.

"Dr Kenson, I presume."

"You presume rightly, young man. But who are you?" Her speech was refined, precise, the words of an academic who was used to making herself understood. So different and yet so similar to that of her good friend Admiral Hackett.

"I'm Captain John Kennedy Shepard," I replied, although I was a bit miffed she didn't seem to recognise me on sight. Oh well. "Formerly of the Alliance Marines. I've been sent by Admiral Hackett to rescue you."

"He did receive my message after all!" cried Dr Kenson, almost sobbing with relief.

"Yes ma'am. We're not safe here, can you walk?"

"I'm fine. If we can find a security console, I can hack it and open up a safe path for us."

"Sounds good," I said. I unclipped my spare pistol and tossed it to Dr Kenson, who caught it deftly. "Can you use a gun?"

"I think so," she said uncertainly, turning it this way and that.

"Those college frat parties must get rowdy at times, huh?" I joked, and she smiled briefly.

"You don't know the half of it. Let's go."

**xxxx**

I hated escorting VIPs. Theoretically it was part of the job, and every marine had to be ready at a moment's notice to safeguard the Prime Minister of the Alliance Parliament on her trip from Earth to the Citadel or whatever. But I hated it. I was used to fighting with people who knew what to do, who knew how to handle themselves when I wasn't looking, and who knew exactly how to follow my orders the instant I gave them.

Escorting a...well..._civilian_...in the middle of a firefight was not high on my list of things that I liked to do.

I was forced to modify my tactics a little, staying low and taking minimal risks while looking out for Dr Kenson. I wasn't forced to take bullets for her, but I came damned close. After all, she was just a slightly more than middle-aged university professor. I couldn't ask her to lay the smackdown on the poor batarian grunts as if she was a sexy tattooed biotic.

"DUCK!"

Dr Kenson threw herself flat on the floor as a shot narrowly missed punching her brains from her skull. She raised her pistol, but before she could use it I took aim and fired, and another batarian soldier slumped backwards, unmoving.

"Oh my God!"

"Just...just stay low," I said distractedly, looking this way and that for new enemies. Thankfully there weren't any.

"This is harder than I thought it would be," muttered Dr Kenson.

"I thought you said you knew how to fire a gun," I said, helping her to her feet.

"I've shot a few times at a practice range," she said. The soldier in me groaned. _Practice ranges. Perfect for civilians. Not a patch on the real thing._

We reached a handy security control panel and Dr Kenson got straight to work. She may not have known how to fight, but she handled the hacking work cool and quick as you please while I stood guard. In no time she had unlocked the gates to the hangar bay and we scrambled onto the elevator platform.

"Shepard? The hangar doors are hard locked. We'll have to open them the old-fashioned way."

"Leave that to me," I said with a grin.

**xxxx**

The batarian base was little more than a smoking ruin as we streaked upwards into the night sky on our stolen shuttle. I removed my helmet and took a gulp of air, before engaging the autopilot and settling down on the pilot's chair with a sigh of contentment. Got in, got out, saved the scientist and the day once more. Score one for the good guys.

"We should be well out of range of their anti-air cannons before their security systems come back online," said Dr Kenson, sitting on the passenger's seat with her hands clasped, hanging between her legs. I took the opportunity to study Hackett's friend more closely. She was about sixty-ish and reminded me of Dr Chakwas, although superficially. They both had grey hair and were doctors, but there the similarities ended. While Karin was all warmth and wit, Amanda Kenson was more detached, with a voice full of chilly precision. With the stress of battle faded away, she sounded more like the academic she was.

"Do you think they'll come after you?"

"I'm not taking any chances," she said firmly. "The Hegemony does not look kindly on humans trying to destroy their mass relays."

I let out a low whistle of surprise. "Whoa. So the accusations against you are true."

"They don't know the whole story. My team and I were investigating the rumours of the presence of Reaper technology in this system."

"I guess you found something?"

"We found proof that the Reapers would be arriving right here in this system."

That made me sit up in my seat and narrow my eyes. "The Reapers will be arriving in the Bahak system? When? How much time do we have?"

"We're not sure, we're still working out the details. But we think it could be as little as two days."

"TWO FUC-"

"Yes Captain," she said, cutting me off. "That's why we came up with a plan. We need to destroy the mass relay in this system. We call it the Alpha Relay. It is linked to several other mass relays near populated systems with Citadel races. With it, the Reapers can use it to travel anywhere they want in the settled galaxy and strike. Without it, well, even at FTL speeds it'll take them months or even years to get to another relay. We were going to cut off their access to the Alpha Relay."

"How the hell were you planning to do that?"

"We came up with something that we called 'The Project'."

"Uh -" I began, wanting to comment on the utter blandness of the name. But Kenson went on.

"Our plan was to launch a nearby asteroid at the mass relay and destroy it."

My mouth fell shut with a snap. Despite its boring name, the Project was the most insane thing I had ever heard. Blowing up a mass relay by hurling an asteroid at it! That was something Jack would have come up with. I knew my crew liked to joke that I was a walking weapon of mass destruction, but even I had to admit that this idea of Kenson's was completely stark raving mad.

I asked the doc a few more questions, just to see if she meant what she just said or if she was just insane. Sadly, she wasn't. She seemed to have thought the whole thing through pretty well.

"Mass relays are the most powerful mass effect engines in the known galaxy," she explained, dumbing down her technobabble until even I could understand it. The energy released from an explosion would be comparable to a supernova. This is a remote system, but over three hundred thousand batarians live in the colony below us. The explosion would undoubtedly kill them all."

"That's not going to happen."

"How?"

"I'll think of something," I said confidently. "But how are you so sure a Reaper invasion is coming here in the first place?"

"The evidence came from an object we found, codenamed Object Rho. We're convinced it's a Reaper artifact. Once we get to the station I'll explain everything, and provide copies of all our notes on the artifact."

Her face changed when she mentioned Object Rho. Not a lot. It was pretty clear it was unintentional, and she did her best to hide it. But it was there. I saw it the same way a good fisherman spots a fish by the ripples in the water. A tiny look downwards, the way her lip twitched...I had long experience learning how to read people. Something about this Object Rho was worrying her.

It didn't occur to me until later that the word I should have used wasn't 'worrying'. It was more like 'haunting'. I should have taken her back to the Normandy immediately and contact Hackett for orders on what to do next. But like the fool I was, I thought I could handle it by myself. So I followed the doctor back to her station.

And Object Rho.

**Arcturus Scientific Research Station**

Our shuttle docked at an innocuous looking station, which resembled a standard scientific base. But Kenson had to give so many passwords and clearances through multiple layers of security it was clear this was no innocent research lab. I got out of the shuttle, feeling more uneasy as the seconds ticked by. Something about the whole thing wasn't right. But I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

I looked up instead, and saw a huge digital time display. There were four numbers, and it was counting down the seconds.

"Our countdown until the Reapers arrive," said Kenson, noticing where I was staring. "We have a little over two days to stop them."

"How -"

"The artifact's been giving off timed pulses, which grew more and more constant. We believe it's linked to the proximity of the Reapers. In 48 hours, they will be able to reach Earth," said the doctor, with an amazing amount of calm. You would have thought she was talking about an upcoming dinner party instead of the imminent invasion of the homeworld.

"Then let's make sure they never get there," I muttered.

Kenson led me through the long corridors of the facility, watched closely at every turn by suspicious security guards. They seemed a bit better armed than your standard lab security, but at least now I knew why.

"Is there no other way to stop them other than blowing up that mass relay?" I asked, after a while. The possibility that everything in the system could be wiped out still weighed heavily on my mind.

"The Reapers will reach this system regardless of what we do," explained Kenson again. I thought I detected a tinge of impatience in her tone. "But the Alpha relay is their shortcut to the rest of the galaxy. They could hit Palaven, Sur'kesh, Thessia, the Citadel. Earth. _All at the same time. _We need to stop them, Captain."

I had no comeback to that.

We stopped outside a lab door. Kenson keyed in a code, and it slid open.

"Captain Shepard I give you – Object Rho."

My jaw dropped. At first glance it looked like some malevolent black demon, crouched on its haunches and poised to spring at anyone who went near it. It pulsed with eerie blue energy, constantly dissipating into the air. Spires of what looked like solid black metal climbed upwards for at least one storey, the object completely dominating the laboratory.

But it wasn't behind a protective shield. It wasn't being contained or covered in any way. The goddamn thing was just sitting there, out in the open.

"What the hell are you doing?" I shouted. "You never ever go near a Reaper artifact!"

"The Object showed me a vision," said Kenson dreamily. She wasn't looking at me, but at that squat evil goblin in the middle of the room. "Give it time. It will soon give you the proof you need."

I moved towards Kenson, but before I could take a second step a massive bolt of pain ripped through my skull and I fell to my knees. I was no stranger to strange psychic messages and this was no different, an apocalyptic cry of endless waves of darkness taking over the galaxy. The doctor was right. The Reapers were coming. The Project had to be activated.

When I opened my eyes again, Kenson had a gun pointed at my face.

"I can't let you start the Project, Shepard," she said, her voice shifted into a low, deadly monotone. "I can't let you stop the arrival of the Reapers."

**The Normandy **

**Now**

I stopped talking and looked at Hackett. The old Admiral had an expression of utter shock on his craggy, weathered face. When he spoke, there was a note of genuine sorrow through the gruff weariness.

"So the Reapers got her. Son of a bitch," he cursed softly.

I nodded.

"What about the rest of the base?"

"Every single one of them. But the size and the pull of that demonic fucking thing...I'm not sure if anyone could have withstood it."

Hackett swore again under his breath. "So how did you avoid it, Shepard? How do I know you're not indoctrinated right now?"

"I can't answer that. I'm hoping all of Karin's tests can give you the proof you need. Beyond that – I don't know. Maybe even none of our tests can really tell you if the Reapers have got you. But I'm glad of one thing that Dr Kenson did for me. Her team knocked me out before I was exposed to Object Rho for too long. In hindsight, that might have saved my mind."

"They knocked you out? A bunch of mercs?"

I shrugged, not wanting to explain how I killed wave after wave of men whose only crime was to fall under the spell of the Reapers. If I closed my eyes I could still see their faces as they died. Hear their screams of agony. Recall struggling to keep the insidious influence of Object Rho at bay while I dodged bullets and sent otherwise innocent men to their deaths.

_Do not resist. Your mind will be mine._

I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to fight back the wave of nausea that assailed me at the memory of that awful, soundless voice. Hackett pulled a chair closer to me and sat down. He was still angry, I could see it in his face, but it was tempered with the sorrow of knowing that Dr Kenson had done immense damage to the Alliance before she died. She had been his friend. A true friend. And with a man of Hackett's age and in his high position, the number of true friends he had could be counted on one hand.

"It wasn't her, in the end. It was that thing. No one could resist, not for the length of time she had been near it," I said, trying to make Hackett understand. But I knew it wouldn't do much good. Unless you've been near a Reaper artifact, you will never truly understand how _wrong _it feels, how it makes you want to claw out your own eyes and scream until your throat breaks.

Or a Reaper itself.

"I know that," said Hackett roughly. But even though he said the words, I could see he didn't mean them, not truly. No one could, not unless you've actually seen something touched by the foul claw of a Reaper and be drawn towards it. The effect was similar to staring off the edge of a cliff, all the way down to the waves and the rocks below. You want to draw back, but a tiny part of your brain cannot help but wonder what it must be like to leap off the edge and embrace oblivion on the way down.

"What happened next?" he asked. I fought to keep from sighing, and resumed the story of what happened once again.

**Arcturus Research Station**

**Then**

I love the beach. On a really hot day, sun pouring down on you with all of its might, it is perfection itself to sit in a deckchair and watch the deep blue waves of the sea roll back and forth forever. Good book. Bottle of ice-cold beer. No one around me for miles. No sound but the crash of the surf and the calls of the seagulls. I breathed in deep, the salt tang of the clean air filling my lungs. Then I let it out again. For once, I was completely and utterly at peace.

An explosion of laughter makes me turn my head. A young boy is at play. He is dressed as I am, wearing big blue beach shorts and running around barefoot. His tousled brown hair flies in the wind as he leaps from dune to dune. I watch him and after a while he stops and looks right at me.

He grins, widely and infectiously, with the guilelessness and joy that only young children are blessed with. Despite myself, I start to smile too.

Then he takes off, running towards the sea, sand flying with each step he takes. I get up, feeling that for some reason I need to follow him, this little boy. I run as he runs, legs pumping, running flat out, the fastest since I rigged the Collector Base to blow up. I need to reach him, and hear for myself what he has to say.

But I look away for a moment and he is gone. And instead there stands Morinth, the _ardat-yakshi _who died and yet still lived on within my mind and my soul.

"Shepard," she purrs. She's wearing the same skintight black suit I saw her die in. She looks completely relaxed. At ease.

What is she doing here?

"This isn't real, of course. You're knocked out. Again. With all the time you spend unconscious, I wouldn't be surprised if you have permanent brain damage by now."

She smirked.

"Of course, some might say that having the memory of an _ardat-yakshi _permanently live on in your brain counts as damaged."

"What have you done?" I manage to say. I don't mention the boy. I feel it would be wrong to talk about him to her. But she must have seen him. Right?

Morinth looked affronted. "Done? I've saved your life, that's what."

"Do you expect me to believe that?"

"No. But it's the truth. Are you really so arrogant to believe that out of every single person on that Arcturus Research Station, you were the only one who avoided being indoctrinated by the Reapers? By Object Rho?"

At the mention of Arcturus, and of Object Rho, the memory of my encounter assails me like an icy wind. Despite the warmth of the sun on my face and the soft sand between my toes, I know that this is yet another lie. A desperate fantasy conjured up by a weary and battle-scarred brain that has just had about enough.

"What are you saying?"

Morinth tossed her head in a dismissive gesture. "I did what I could to keep it out, of course. It wasn't easy. I am old. I am powerful, despite being dead. But the Reapers are far older and far stronger than I am. Even if they are dead too. In strange aeons, even death may die."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"Nothing to worry your pretty little head about, Shepard. Just thought you might like to know that I like being here. Alone. I don't want to have to share you with anybody," said Morinth, licking her lips provocatively. "So think twice before calling Mother to help force me out of your head. There'll be no one left to protect you the next time the Reapers want control of your mind. Body. And if you like, soul."

I clench my fists helplessly, then let them fall to my side. I didn't know why I was doing it, but I mumbled a thank you. Force of habit, I suppose. But it made Morinth look surprised, if for a moment.

"You are welcome. Now I believe it is time for you to go. But do not forget me. And do not forget _him._"

"Who are you talking about?"

"You know who I'm talking about," said Morinth with an enigmatic smile. And in the next moment, I was awake.

**xxxx**

I didn't tell Hackett about my...dream, of course. He would think I was going mad. Even more so than usual. Instead I told him about how I woke up, swung myself off their operating table (they were so confident their sedatives would hold me they didn't even bother with cuffs or restraint) and knocking out two armoured guards with my bare fists. The Arcturus scientist sealed off the operating theatre, believing herself safe, but I remotely controlled a mech to blast her and then the door, letting me out.

My head still hurt, and I felt extremely groggy, but I pulled myself over to an equipment locker and began rummaging. To my surprise all my original gear was inside, neatly packed away. Just as I was snapping the last armguard in place, I looked up and had the shock of my life.

The countdown timer which had a little less than 48 hours to run the last time I saw it...now read one hour and 55 minutes. I had been out for two days. And the Reapers were less than two hours away.

I had to fight to keep myself from screaming and the mounting nausea that threatened to overwhelm me. Focus on the mission. I had to stop the Reapers from accessing the Alpha Relay in this system. To do that, I needed to activate the Project. To activate the Project, I had to slaughter my way through Arcturus Research Station.

They were good, decent people. Alliance men and women, dedicated to their jobs and the cause. They had followed Kenson without hesitation and had gotten sucked into the evil influence of the Reapers through no fault of their own. They had husbands, wives, sons and daughters. You have to believe me, at any other time I would have taken it slow. I would have left my guns in their holsters, safety on, and instead tried to knock out every single person in the station. I would have found a way to call in the Normandy and get everyone on board before leaving. I would have, if I had the time. But I had less than two hours. It was their lives, or the lives of everyone on the Citadel. Everyone on Earth. I had no choice.

You have to believe me.

I charged through the base, shooting to kill. If they had been taken over by the Reapers, better a quick, clean death than being enslaved by those milennia-old monsters. That's what I kept telling myself as I reloaded and fired off shots and killed the men and women who hurled themselves at me. I kept telling myself death was preferable to the kind of mental torture they were under, even as I heard Dr Kenson's voice ring out over the speakers, ordering everyone to slow down my progress towards the Project Control, ordering them to their deaths.

Along the way I uploaded records and Kenson's research logs to my Omni-Tool. Maybe when the dust had settled we could go through them and try to make sense of it all. She was going on and on about how glorious the arrival of the Reapers would be and how it would mean a new life for the galaxy.

Despite myself, I began to think about Morinth. The idea of the Reapers appearing in our galaxy and massacring billions of lives was still reprehensible to me. But was it only because Morinth was keeping their insidious influence at bay? If so, I owed her a greater debt than I realised. One that I could never satisfactorily repay because she was dead.

I shot an engineer in the throat and watched as he crumpled to the floor, cursing myself. There was a large console with the countdown timer on the other side of the room, in front of a window offering a view of the asteroid outside.

"Welcome to Project Control," greeted the bland VI voice.

"I want to activate the Project," I said firmly.

"Warning," replied the VI. A counter ticked off on screen until the sum of 304942 came up. "Activating the Project will result in approximately three hundred and five thousand casualties. Do you wish to continue?"

I steeled myself, and activated the Project on the console. I felt a low rumble as the great eezo engines fired up, extending a mass effect field that would pull the asteroid the station was sitting on out of its natural path and set it on a collision course with the system's mass relay.

"What kind of security do they have here," I muttered to myself as the engines picked up speed. "You can kill over three hundred people just by pushing a button? Not even one fucking failsafe or password. Idiots."

I knew I was just babbling. I didn't want to think about what I had just set in motion.

"Project activation in progress," piped up the VI suddenly. "Warning: Collision with mass relay is imminent. Begin evacuation procedures."

There was something I could do. Even though Jack and the rest on board ship would probably be raising hell, I needed to call someone else first. I patched in my personal communicator to the batarian's public colony network as fast as I could and bellowed a warning to evacuate. But before I could finish it, Dr Kenson appeared on the screen in front of me, cutting me off. She looked highly agitated, to say the least.

"Shepard, no! Do you have any idea what you've done?"

I ignored her. Instead I spoke to the VI. "Tell me where to find Dr Amanda Kenson," I said slowly and deliberately. The VI indicated that she was traveling towards the reactor core module.

"If you've sent this asteroid on its way to the relay, then I just have to destroy it. An eezo core meltdown should do it. Thanks to you, everyone on this rock will be obliterated!" she said, almost petulantly. As if what had happened had entirely been of my own making.

"THEY'RE ALL DEAD ALREADY!" I yelled back, the last of my restraint breaking. "They're dead because you forced them to attack me, you fucking idiot! I am going to find you and I am going to put an end to this bullshit here and now!"

The transmission cut off and I started to run.

**Arcturus Station**

**Reactor Core**

Dr Kenson had changed out of her miner's rags since I saw her last. She was wearing a lab suit of the kind that I had seen Karin wear many times before. She had her back to the reactor core, but didn't appear to be armed. A clear, bulletproof screen separated us.

"Don't try to stop me, Shepard! You know this needs to be done!"

"Hackett's friend or not, I will kill you Kenson," I said, wanting to make my intentions perfectly clear. "Step away from the reactor right now."

"You can't stop them," she said, in a voice that sounded almost like a sob. "There is no way for you to resist. You will kill both of us and I will die never having the chance to see the blessings of the Reapers for myself."

"Goddamnit Kenson!" I roared, watching her run away. More Project guards swarmed my position and I was suddenly in the middle of a firefight. Jack would have come in handy. Garrus to snipe them from afar. Grunt. Tali. Hell, anyone really. I missed my friends.

The VI guided me through the process of manually inserting the cooling rods back to their proper position in order to override Kenson's meltdown sequence. I did so while dodging bullets from Kenson's goons. Have you ever tried handling explosive material while trying not to get shot at? It's not exactly easy.

When it was over I let out a huge sigh of relief I didn't know I had been holding in, before riding the escalator down to take care of Kenson once and for all. She was manic, restless, looking here there and everywhere before turning her insane gaze on me.

"You've ruined everything! I can't hear them anymore. I can't hear their whispers," she ranted. Then out of nowhere, she produced a dead man's switch and flicked it on. My gun was trained on her in an instant.

"Stop this, Kenson," I warned.

"You've taken them away from me, I'll never see the Reapers arrive! All you had to do was to stay there, but -"

Without hesitation, I shot her in the gut three times. Kenson staggered backwards, the switch rolling out of her hand. It hit the floor and triggered a huge explosion. I flung myself to one side and hoped for the best. I was knocked for a loop, but it worked. When I managed to get back up on my feet, the VI had begun a repeated warning that a collision was imminent.

"Joker, I need a pickup now!" I screamed into my communicator. The VI helpfully informed me that the communication system was damaged and offline.

"Fuck's sake!"

"All personnel report to escape shuttles."

"Where the hell can I find an escape shuttle?"

"Proceed to the communication tower. The remaining shuttles are located on the tower's landing pad."

I downloaded the path to the comm tower and was off like a shot. But not before saying a silent prayer for the fallen Dr Kenson.

**xxxx**

There was a reason the Marines liked to say the only easy day was yesterday. I reached the docking bay leading to the shuttle pad near the comm tower, but the last few remaining Project guards were still in my way, hurling grenades and laying down suppressing fire as if I were an army of krogan.

"Joker, I hope like hell you're listening when I get to that fucking tower," I babbled to myself as I waded through a sea of fire. A grenade blast nearly tore my leg off, but I managed to shoot the guard in the neck and crawl to safety.

The mass relay was in the distance, dominating my entire field of vision. I could actually see it get bigger as the Arcturus Station's mass effect engines pulled the asteroid ever closer to the relay and pick up speed. To the naked eye, the sight was tremendous. Awe-inspiring. The sleek dark shape of the relay silhouetted against the dying sun, with the glowing ball of energy in the centre that had the power to fling any ship to a point billions and untold billions of miles away from here. It was beautiful and terrifying at the same time.

I reminded myself that if the Project didn't work, the Reapers would use this relay to transport themselves right next to Earth. That gave me the adrenaline I needed to drag myself to the enhance communications relay.

"Captain Shepard to the Normandy, Captain Shepard to the Normandy!" I shouted, over the howl of the wind. "Do you read me?"

Before I received a reply, a gigantic holographic image bloomed into existence above me.

It was shaped like some evil, twisted combination of lobster, spider and squid. It was covered with armour plating so dark and immense I had the feeling it could survive a trip through a sun and back out again. Its six glowing yellow eyes, so like the Collectors, focused directly on me.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to run. I wanted to shoot myself as I struggled not to lose my mind. It was a _Reaper. _It was some thing from beyond the furthest reaches of galactic space, unbelievably old, incomprehensibly evil, utterly unfathomable. The Reaper was looking at me. Right. At. ME! I suddenly knew how a human looks like to an ant right before a boot descends on it. I felt insignificant, worthless, completely powerless. The alien voice it spoke with felt like shards of glass burrowing deep inside my brain. It felt wrong. Everything about it went against all I held deep in my heart to be true and good.

_**SHEPARD. YOU HAVE BECOME AN ANNOYANCE.**_

It knew my name. Oh dear God, they know my name. Harbinger knows my name.

_**YOU FIGHT AGAINST INEVITABILITY. MOTES OF DUST STRUGGLING AGAINST COSMIC WINDS.**_

I wanted to run. Instead I moved forward. I wanted to cry. Instead I forced myself to look up at Harbinger, to confront him face to face.

I don't know how I did it. All I knew was that if I failed now, if I broke now...then humanity couldn't stand a chance. I was the first Spectre. I was a Commander of the Alliance, then Captain Shepard of the colonies. I needed to make a stand. Like it or not, here and now I was the face of humanity. And the human race does not run. No matter how scared its representative feels at the time.

_**THIS SEEMS A VICTORY TO YOU. A STAR SYSTEM SACRIFICED. BUT EVEN NOW, YOUR GREATEST CIVILISATIONS ARE DOOMED TO FALL. YOUR LEADERS WILL BEG TO SERVE US.**_

"Maybe you're right," I forced myself to say. "Maybe we can't win this. But we will fight you regardless. I, will fight you regardless. Just like we did with Sovereign, and just like I'm doing now."

They were brave words. Bold words. I hoped like hell they concealed some of the raw, naked terror that I felt.

"However insignificant we might be, we will fight. We will sacrifice. And we will find a way to win. That's what humans do."

Something my father liked to say stirred me.

"We will defend our planet, whatever the cost may be. We will fight you on the beaches, in the fields, in the hills, and in the streets. We shall never surrender," I pronounced, my voice steadier now.

The hologram was silent for a moment. Maybe it was taken aback at the defiance shown by one tiny little ant, one easily squashed little bug.

_**KNOW THIS THEN AS YOU DIE IN VAIN. YOUR TIME WILL COME. YOUR SPECIES WILL FALL. PREPARE YOURSELVES FOR THE ARRIVAL.**_

With that warning given, Harbinger's hologram floated upwards, and then disappeared.

"Captain? Captain it's good to hear from you!" yelled a voice in my headset. A human voice. Joker's.

"Goddamn we were getting worried. Normandy is inbound for pickup!"

I looked up in the sky. My ship, my beautiful, wondrous, restless ship, was in the air and growing bigger by the second, coming for me at last.

When I was safely on board, the Normandy headed for the mass relay, preparing for a jump. The last that the relay would ever provide.

I closed my eyes and imagine the asteroid careening into the mass relay. The massive explosion of energy as it was ripped asunder. The cries of over three hundred thousand souls as they died in an instant.

Tears fell from my eyes as I staggered onto the bridge.

**Med Bay**

**The Normandy**

**Now**

"I confirmed Dr Kenson's suspicions," I said, my voice hollow. "The Reapers were coming. I saw Harbinger with my own eyes. Destroying the mass relay was the only way to stop them from amassing around the Citadel and Earth right this very moment."

"Amanda sedated you for almost two days," said Hackett grimly.

"Yes. I started the engines with just an hour left to go. I tried to warn the colonists. I tried. Time ran out."

"I believe you, Shepard. The batarians report no survivors from Aratoht. They're screaming themselves hoarse. They want whoever's responsible to cut his own head off and give it to them on a silver platter."

"I don't blame them."

Hackett sighed and leaned back in his chair.

"You really believed the Reaper invasion was a threat? That without destroying that relay, we'd be fighting off an invasion right about now?"

I held his gaze. "Yes sir. I did. I do."

"I'll go over the report later. I won't lie to you. The batarians want blood. There's enough evidence for a witch hunt. And we don't want to go to war with the batarians. Not now, not with the Reapers so close to the galaxy's edge."

Hackett looked away for a minute. "Politics," he spat, making it a curse.

I felt my heart sink. I knew what was coming. I had seen it too many times over my career. A soldier sacrificed to keep the civilians happy. And the worst thing is, they had every reason to want to claw my entrails out. I had my reasons, but the blood of the entire system was on my hands.

"If it were up to me I'd give you a goddamn medal," said the Admiral. "But not everyone will see it that way. The batarians have been looking for an excuse to wage war ever since we showed up on the galactic stage. If we're at war with them when the Reapers arrive, the Citadel will hesitate to give either of us aid and supplies."

"Is the Alliance ready for an invasion?" I asked, dreading the answer.

"Hard to say," mused Hackett diplomatically. Despite his distaste for politics, he knew how to navigate its choppy waters. "It took several of our fleets plus the Destiny Ascension to bring down Sovereign. And the bastard was just one Reaper. If the Reapers come in force, we're just not ready."

"So it's up to me," I said softly.

"Yes. I hate this, Shepard. But only you can prevent us from making a horrific mistake. If you decide to run, I will chase you. I will drag you into court myself to stand trial. The alternative is a war we cannot afford to have, not with us standing so close to the brink."

Hackett announced his readiness to hunt me down while unarmed, and on my own ship. Not for the first time, I admired the balls on the man. Metaphorically, of course.

"I'll stand trial," I said. "No point in dragging this out any further than it has to. Just...give me some time to say a few words to my crew?"

Hackett nodded solemnly. "Permission granted, Commander."

"Captain, now."

"As far as I'm concerned you're still part of this goddamn Navy. But the politicos will insist on trying you as an independent, unaffiliated ship's captain. More room for deniability, you see. But when the real shooting starts...there are no ex-Marines, you know that. Only retired ones. But only if you want it. I can make it happen."

I thought about it. It was big of Hackett to make the offer, to take me back with my tarnished reputation, now fouler and muddier than it had ever been. But he was right. Once the Reapers showed up, no one would raise an objection if I wanted to be part of the Alliance again.

Jack would disagree. But to tell the truth, I missed it. It was in my blood, part of what made me who I was. I was a Marine, and there are no ex-Marines. Only dead ones.

"I accept."

"Thank you, Shepard. I'll give you as much time as you need to speak to your crew. Then you will accompany back to the Fifth Fleet. We're going back to Earth."

"Understood."

**Communications and Briefing Room**

**The Normandy**

"No! What do you mean you're giving yourself up!" yelled Jack. She slammed her fist on the table, making Tali jump.

"I have to, Jackie," I said. I had showered, shaved and changed into my dress blues, clean and fit for a parade inspection. Most of the crew had packed the small briefing room to hear my farewell address to them.

"Why?!"

"What I did down there was wrong," I said, as calmly as I could. "We know that if I hadn't done that, the Reapers would be knocking on the doors of the Citadel right now. But no one believes me. Only Tevos and Osbern on the Council did, Velarn still refuses to see the truth. They pretty much ignore Anderson, and even if they all believed me it wouldn't matter because the rest of the galaxy doesn't. The Reapers are still little more than a myth to them."

"There is another force at work here," said Thane, in his flat voice. "Politics. You are a blood sacrifice."

"That's rubbish, Hackett wouldn't give up one of ours to the batarians," cut in Jacob.

"He's right Jake," I said, noting with sorrow the hurt in Jacob's eyes. "If Hackett lets me go, the batarians declare war against humanity immediately. They've been itching for a fight ever since we first met and this is a gilt-edged opportunity for them. I cannot allow them to take this chance."

"If you don't go, more people will die. And we will be in an even worse situation than we already are when the Reapers do arrive," said Miranda in her clipped tones. I nodded assent.

"They really are coming then?" asked Tali hesitantly.

"Yes. They are. Harbinger..." I began, then let it drop. There were no words to describe what I saw.

"So where are going now? Back to Earth?" asked Garrus.

"Yes. Hackett has allowed me a few minutes to brief you guys. In a while the Normandy will be turned over to Alliance servicemen from his crew, and we will be escorted back to Earth."

"They're going to fly my baby? Like hell," muttered Joker.

"I suspect the Alliance will want to inspect the Normandy for Cerberus tech. Including EDI, I might add," said Mordin. Joker looked alarmed. EDI said nothing, but I suspected she would be more than a handful for any old Alliance technician.

"Jack, I still say this is bullshit," said Jack. "We can get out of here. Right now. Who cares what the Alliance wants?"

"I need to do this," I said again. "This is bigger than me. This is bigger than any of us. I have to do the right thing here, it's all I've always done. It's what makes me better than Cerberus, better than the monsters. If I don't do this, then I can never wash away this blood on my hands. It's my choice, Jackie. I have to go."

"I don't want you to go," said Jack, her voice breaking. Tali laid a sympathetic hand on her shoulder and amazingly, she didn't shake it off.

As much as I wanted to, I couldn't go over and talk to my girlfriend in private right away. I had to take a few more questions first, from everyone present. They seemed nervous, but at least they were willing to trust my judgment.

"John, I don't intend to sit in an Alliance cell," said Miranda, on her way out of the room. "The minute we touch down on Earth, I'm not going to stick around."

"I don't blame you Miri," I said. "Do what you have to do. I can't ask you to hang around and wait for the trial to be over. I know you'll be much more useful on the outside."

"I'll see who else wants to join me," she said. Then she threw her arms around me and gave me a tight hug.

"We're not abandoning you, John. Never. When the Reapers arrive and when the idiots see sense, I'll come back to help you out. You have my word."

"Thank you. I appreciate it," I said, hugging her back. Miranda let me go and wiped her eyes. Then with one last look, she was gone.

"Hope they send me back to Palaven," said Garrus. He clasped my hand and shook it. "I'll do what I can to get my people ready. We have the biggest, baddest navy floating around. We'll give those squid bastards something to think about."

I chuckled. "Hope you do, mate. I really hope you do."

"I'll see if I can get a transfer back to the Migrant Fleet as well," said Tali. Her head tilted in the gesture I had associated with a wry smile. "I've taken what you said to heart, Jack. In times like these, my people need a leader. And even though I don't want it, I have to do everything I can to serve them. Even if it means becoming an Admiral."

"You'll make a damn fine one, Tals," I said. She too gave me a hug, and then left.

Ken and Gabby let me know of their desire to go back to the Alliance, as did Dr Chakwas. I assured them I would put in a good word. For the Cerberus personnel like Kelly, I said I would find away to let them sneak off the ship once we reached Earth. I didn't want anyone who helped me against the Collectors to be punished by some incompetent bureaucrat with an agenda.

Finally it was just Jack and myself. She had retreated to a corner, arms wrapped around herself, not looking up as I said my goodbyes. I knelt down beside her and touched her cheek with my finger.

"Hey beautiful."

Jack bit her lip, not bothering to hide the tears falling from her eyes. "It's not fair. It's not fucking fair at all. You're a fucking hero. You saved all their lives. And now they're going to fucking lock you up for fuck knows how long and I'm not going to be able to be with you and it's not fucking fair!" she exploded.

I put my arms around her and held her close, my Jack, my beautiful Jackie, inhaling her scent and feeling her body against mine, the heat of her skin and the thump of her heart, her insatiable, inexorable need for life. Jack was alive. She made me feel alive, so much more than I had ever been. It would be agony to be separated from her side, not being able to see her or hold her hand or talk to her about anything under the sun, or to make love to her when she wanted and just lie in bed enjoying the closeness of one another. I was giving up my freedom by turning myself over to the Alliance, and freedom meant Jack. Since the day I fell in love with her, my freedom had always meant being with Jack.

"I don't want you to go," she said again, after a while. "I don't want you to go."

"I don't want to either," I said. "Wait for me, Jack. I don't know when, or how long. But wait for me."

"Of course I will. Don't know what I'll do in the meantime though. I might steal a dreadnought and ram it into New York City. That'll get their attention."

Despite everything that happened, I laughed. I knew that Jack was dead serious when it came to her threats.

"Please don't do that."

A thought struck me. Something my mother said.

"Jackie, could you do something for me?"

"Anything."

"When we get back, look up my mother. She mentioned something about training Alliance biotics when we met, don't you remember?"

"I think so. But why?"

"When the hammer drops we are going to need help. Lots of it. A squad of trained biotics might be just what we need to turn the tide."

"One squad against a swarm of Reapers?" asked Jack incredulously.

"You never know. But mostly, it'll be good for the kids. You've been through hell, Jackie. Absolute hell at the hands of Cerberus. You, more than any other person, can make sure nothing of the sort ever happens to those kids. Turn their skills into doing something good."

I could see Jack hesitate. She was the furthest thing from a teacher imaginable, but she knew I was right. She had experience no other biotic had in controlling and using their powers. And with her at the helm of the school, anyone who even thought about abusing the children the way Cerberus abused her would be nailed to the ceiling by his ears.

"I don't know."

"Do it for me," I urged her. "I'll know that you're safe, and doing some good. And maybe the researchers and scientists there can help you too. Make sure that the biotic implants don't hurt you further. Please."

I had deliberately said my most urgent reason last. Although it was true Jack would make a wonderful teacher, most of all what I wanted was the full might and resources of Alliance science and technology devoted to finding a way to cure my girlfriend and prevent her early death. For that, there was nothing I wouldn't do.

Jack sensed it. She nodded her head.

"Okay. Okay, I'll do it."

She pulled my head down towards hers suddenly and gave me a hard kiss on the lips.

"No time for one last goodbye?"

I gave her another kiss, a deep one, before coming up for air. "I'm afraid not."

"Fucking Hackett. Let's hope they have conjugal visits where you're going."

Wonder of wonders, Jack was smiling. It was a small, weak grin, tinged with frustration and barely checked anger, but it was there. Not for the first time, I marvelled at how much progress she had made since I first found her. And how much I'd changed for the better since she found me too.

"Will you marry me?"

Jack's eyes grew wide. I wasn't sure I heard myself correctly. I hadn't planned on saying it. Hell, I was waiting for a better time. Just before being dragged off to jail wasn't a particularly good time.

But as Jack watched me carefully for a hint that it was a joke, I found myself liking the idea. Coming to terms with it. I had been through hell. I might live to see the next month. The Reapers were coming, threatening everything that I held dear. I wanted one solid link, one unbreakable chain to tether me to Earth and make sure I kept my head when all around me would be losing theirs.

To that end, I chose Jack. It would always be Jack.

Jack kissed me again, harder than I ever remembered her. There were tears in her eyes once more when we broke apart. But she was smiling, a real smile this time, full of hope and joy.

"You're doing this on purpose. Right before they drag you away to be locked up forever. I hate you Jack Kennedy Shepard. You bastard, I really fucking hate you."

"And I love you. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone in my entire life. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I need you by my side more than ever now. There's going to be a war. People will die. We will lose more than we imagine. But as long as I've got you Jackie, I think I'll be okay. So again. I love you. Will you marry me?"

"Yes," she said. No cursing, no loud anger, no feral snarl. Just a smile, and a momentous acceptance. I picked her up and swung her around, laughing like a storm. I was feeling happier than I could ever imagine being. It felt like I was lifted up, floating away. I hoped this moment would never end.

"So where's my ring?"

"Oh hell, I don't have one. I wasn't exactly planning it, Jackie."

"You dumbass. I knew this would happen. Guess I'll have to tattoo my finger until you do buy me one, you cheapskate."

"Sounds good. I'll get one too."

"What's your mom going to say?"

"She'll be the most delighted officer in the Alliance for weeks. Don't let her squeeze you to death when you do meet her."

Jack laughed. Then she put her arms around my waist and looked into my eyes.

"Jack? Thank you."

"For what?"

"For loving me. All of me. Everything I am."

"You're welcome. And thank you too."

"What for?"

"For accepting my love. For daring to change. For becoming who you are today. And for what you're about to do tomorrow."

We kissed again, soft and slow, long and deep, not caring what the future might bring, successfully ignoring the shadow of the eldritch abominations from beyond the furthest reaches of space looming over our heads.

Here and now, we had each other.

Here and now, we were alive.


	32. Old Flames

**Chapter 32 – Old Flames**

**Alliance News Network**

_Tonight, on _Galactic Conversation_, we cover the breaking story of the arrest of Commander Shepard! _Galactic Conversation, _the only show in Citadel Space that tells you the truth!_

_Your host, Gwen diMarco!_

_Political correspondent, Arleen T'Suni!_

_Senior Analyst, Ekanta!_

_And our special guest, Dr Hexus Makrane!_

The human woman smiled, as she always does even when discussing the grimmest of news. Brown hair expertly curled just below the chin and with a voice that is both smart and sensuous, she is familiar to billions across the settled galaxy. The ratings kept climbing, and with a news story this juicy, it would climb even higher still.

"Greetings to all. First – the facts. John Shepard, perhaps the most controversial and well-known human in the galaxy today, has been arrested and taken into custody by Admiral Steven Hackett of the Fifth Fleet. Shepard, a former Alliance marine and the first human to be inducted into the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance branch by the Citadel Council, is allegedly the person responsible for the horrific tragedy that occurred on the planet Aratoht, in the Bahak System."

A file picture of Shepard came up on screen, taken from his Alliance service records. Beside it is a helpful galactic chart informing viewers exactly where the Bahak System is. Or was.

"According to a formal accusation lodged by the batarian Hegemony, the mass relay in the Bahak System has been destroyed. There were over three hundred thousand colonists in that system, with no confirmed survivors."

The host paused for a moment, looking suitably sombre in deference to such a great tragedy. Inside, she was practically buzzing with each new tidbit of information. Such a story could stay on air for months! The higher the death toll, the better.

"John Shepard is alleged to be the person responsible behind this heinous crime. A representative of the Fifth Fleet refused to give comment when contacted by ANN, but Prime Minister Amul Shastri of the HSA has released a statement."

A video of the Alliance's Prime Minister appeared on screen. An old, bald man with an impressive moustache, PM Shastri spoke with authority at what appeared to be a hastily arranged press conference."

"John Shepard has been accused of a crime and investigations are ongoing. May I take this opportunity to remind everyone in Citadel Space or without that he is presumed innocent at this point in time. If found guilty, he will be punished to the fullest extent of the law. A trial date will be announced shortly."

The video cut out, returning back to Gwen at her desk. "Over to you, Dr Makrane. What are your initial thoughts on this surprising incident?"

A tall turian male, looking somewhat older than most and wearing a spiffy purple suit addressed Ms diMarco.

"Well as you know, there's a reason Shepard is the most controversial human around. It has been claimed by several good sources that the former marine signed up with Cerberus, the terrorist organisation, shortly after he was believed to have died during a small-scale Alliance expedition against the geth," he said in a matter-of-fact tone.

Gwen frowned, reflecting the confusion that audience polling indicated 87% of the viewers were likely to have. "But official Alliance records have him listed as killed in action. Are you sure he isn't dead?"

"Positive. For example, Shepard was spotted with some regularity on Omega. Although Omega isn't exactly...reliable, he was also seen on Tuchanka and the Citadel."

"And Cerberus. How can it be that Shepard would even consider joining forces with such a brutal and underhanded bunch of thugs? As the hero of the Battle of Elysium, he was well known even before becoming a Spectre," said Gwen, making a passable attempt to sound neutral.

The elcor analyst, Ekanta, rumbled to life.

"Speculation: Despite Shepard's military track record, he remains a human. It is possible that he believes in human supremacy and believes that working with Cerberus will achieve his aims."

"I can't agree with that," said Hexus. "Are you forgetting that the Alliance Navy rescued the Destiny Ascension, along with the Citadel Council, during the Battle of the Citadel under Shepard's orders?"

"Rejection: I believe that was Admiral Hackett's orders, not Shepard's."

"Cerberus is of course an extremist organisation condemned by the Humanity Systems Alliance," clarified Gwen, as instructed by her PR team. "All of us here at ANN and Galactic Conversation will never condone the actions of any group which uses violence to further their goals."

"I feel that if Shepard really is working with Cerberus, he must have a good reason. Perhaps more light will be shed one day," said Hexus.

"Dismissive: As far as I am concerned, working with Cerberus is unforgivable," said Ekanta. "True galactic cooperation will never be achieved when groups like Cerberus kill innocents."

Gwen cuts in. "I'm sorry to interrupt gentlemen but I believe our viewers would like to know more of the political angle in this shocking story. Ms T'suni, could you please give us your take on how this might affect human-batarian relations?"

The asari correspondent, resplendent in a bright orange gown, nodded demurely.

"Although I remain hopeful of a peaceful solution, the Bahak System tragedy threatens to tip the already delicate political situation between the Alliance and the Hegemony into outright war. The Hegemony and the Alliance have never really been on the best of terms, culminating in the somewhat extreme decision by the batarians to sever all political and economic links with the Citadel several years ago. Khar'shan declared that the Citadel's decision not to declare the Skyllian Verge a batarian exclusive zone was an 'intolerable slight'," said Arleen.

"Interjection: The Skyllian Blitz, including the attack on Elysium which involved Shepard, might have been the reason for his dealings with Cerberus," said Ekanta.

"Are you saying he wants revenge?" said Hexus.

"Conjecture: It is entirely possible."

"Tensions are fast rising between the Hegemony and the Alliance," continued Arleen. "As I understand it, Khar'shan demands that Shepard be handed over to the batarians. Unfortunately, and rather ironically, due to having cut their ties with the Citadel, the Alliance has no formal extradition treaty with the Hegemony and is under no obligation to release Shepard to them."

"What do you think of this trial? Will Shepard be tried as a civilian or a member of the military? Will it be public, or closed?" asked Gwen.

"At this point in time it's difficult to say," replied Arleen. "All we can safely surmise at this moment is that the Alliance will be treating this case very seriously indeed."

"We've noticed the Alliance Fleets assigned to guard the colony worlds have been placed on high alert," said Hexus. "At the same time, the Alliance's State Department has been abuzz with activity."

"If I may say so, typical of Alliance politics," said Arleen smoothly. "Rely on diplomacy while at the same time preparing for war."

"But will it come to war?" asked Gwen again.

"I think everything depends on what happens during the trial," said Arleen.

"With emphasis: Shepard should not be allowed to escape his crimes. A verdict of 'innocent' on a technicality will be most unjust," said Ekanta.

"Thank you everyone, now let's take some vidcalls from members of our audience. First we have Tim in Ruislip, he's got something to say about the issue -"

"Oh fuck off!" yelled Jack. Her arm glowed blue, there was the smell of burning ozone in the air, and Joker's coffee mug zoomed off the table and smashed into the expertly made-up face of Gwen diMarco. The mug shattered the screen, killing the TV for good.

Joker, who had jumped in fright, was checking himself all over. Finding no broken bones, he gave Jack a sarcastic slow clap.

"Oh, well done. If you don't like what the TV host billions of kilometres away from Earth said about Shepard, destroy my TV. I'm sure that showed her. I bet she's crying now, on-air, because you hurled my favourite mug through my favourite TV."

Jack whipped around so fast she left sparks behind her. Joker was suddenly acutely aware that even without her biotics, she could easily tear his head off and shove it up his most personal orifice, which was one of her favourite threats.

"Uh...it's alright, you don't have to clean up. I'll do it. Pleasedon'tkillme."

Jack looked like she was going to do it anyway, but she clenched her fists and took several deep breaths, visibly willing herself to calm down. After a few minutes she no longer looked murderous.

"I'm sorry. About the TV," she said curtly. "I'll pay for it."

"Look, you really don't have to worry about it," began Joker, eyes wide in terror.

"I said I'll pay for it. I'm going out."

"Wait, you can't go out, you know the Alliance are looking for you."

"I'm going for a walk! I'll be back soon."

"A walk?" repeated Joker, incredulous.

"I don't need your fuckin' permission to go for a walk now, do I?"

"No, it's just that I've never actually seen you go for a walk before."

"Well how did I get here then? How did I get from the Normandy to your apartment? I fuckin' walked, didn't I?"

"Yeah but you don't normally go _for _a walk."

"I'M AWAY FOR A WALK!" yelled Jack. She grabbed a coat and slammed the door behind her, making the furniture tremble. Joker sighed and looked around for a vacuum cleaner.

The tattooed biotic walked quickly down the street, ignoring the glances of curious passers-by. She was furious, pissed off with everyone and the entire galaxy. But most of all, angry with herself for failing to control her anger. Joker had shown her immense kindness to let her crash his apartment while the Normandy was locked down on Earth. Now his TV was broken because she couldn't control herself. Jack sighed and resolved to do better in the future.

"_So you messed up. Everyone does. What matters is that you don't do it again. You're learning, Jackie. Not everyone can say that."_

Shepard. The man who rescued her from Purgatory. The man she rescued from Tessalon. Her friend. Her captain. Her boyfriend.

Her fiancé.

Jack had been through a lot in her comparatively short life (come to think of it she didn't know exactly how old she was. Definitely less than thirty was the best she could guess). A lot of pain. A lot of loneliness and rage. A few dizzying highs that only served to make the inevitable crash that much harder to bear.

And then Shepard came along and she found something to live for, for once in her life. Something to hold on to. But in the back of her mind, no matter how hard she tried to tell it to shut up before she went to sleep, there was a small part of her that would never die, would never go away, the deepest, darkest depths of her self-loathing that was convinced that this was somehow all a massive joke, that of course he wasn't really in love with her. That with Miranda the perfect woman, or his ex-girlfriend Ashley who was so similar to him, or even shy yet exotic Liara around, that he couldn't love someone as broken and damaged as her.

She hated it. She hated it more than she hated Cerberus, if that was even possible. She knew that was bullshit, the rational part of her mind at least. She knew that she was a strong person, and that Shepard depended on her as much as she did on him. But the problem with irrationality is that it is so persuasive. And it refuses to stop.

No matter how many times he said he loved her, or how many nights they shared together, there was always that suspicion whispering in the dark. Words were wind. This was all another lie. And so it was, until he came back from what had been a routine mission in a batarian system, looking more haunted than she had ever seen, and asked her to marry him.

She had been hit by krogan with punches that felt lighter than his words. Three little words, said quietly to her in the middle of the Normandy's briefing room, after announcing his decision to turn himself in to the Alliance and await their questionable judgment.

_Will you marry me?_

With that, her final wall came crashing down. She couldn't help herself, tears were running down her face when she said yes. His too. He meant so much to her, more than he could ever know. And he'd taken the final step and said he wanted to be with her for the rest of his life.

She was his fiancée. now. Not that she cared that he was the Hero of Elysium, the Hero of the Citadel, the Hero of the Collector Base. Jack didn't care much for heroes. Heroes had concerns and goals far above the heads of the little people. It made her feel a little sick to think that other people, outsiders looking in on their relationship would think she was attracted to that. Shepard was never about the glamour and the fame in her eyes. He was just another guy, but one who genuinely tried to do good. He was the first person in the entire galaxy to look past the weapon and see the woman crying on the inside, and helped her to break free of a cage she never even knew existed.

Jack rubbed her left ring finger. The ink was small, but it was there. Shepard's name encircled it. She didn't care if it was cliched or if it had been done before. The stupid jerk didn't have a ring on him when he proposed, so she had to get one for herself. For too many years she had gotten tattoos to deal with trauma, or to remember the people she killed, or even the few people she cared about who died. This was the first time she had the opportunity to get some ink for an occasion that made her joyful beyond all she thought possible.

Just seeing it made her smile, and made her bad mood lift. The change of environment was helping too. Although she'd never actually admit it to anyone, she did like being planetside now and again. She spent most of her time on board ship, it was nice to breathe real air and feel the sun on her face.

Although he was born on Arcturus Station, Joker kept a small apartment in a quiet, leafy neighbourhood in Toulouse, the south of France. Although Jack had always thought of Earth as being far too crowded, her experiences in Singapore and Hyderabad reinforcing this belief, Toulouse was relatively peaceful. Jack bought a pack of smokes and wandered into a nearby park to sit and have a think.

There were a few kids playing football. People walking their dogs, a pair of old men playing chess. A couple was having a picnic under a tree. Jack took everything in and tried to relax like Samara taught her. It helped, being outdoors. The warmth of the sunlight and the breeze tickling her hair made it easier to chase away the last of her anger at seeing Shepard's named being smeared on galactic TV.

The Normandy had been 'escorted' by a sizeable portion of the Fifth Fleet back to Earth, including Admiral Hackett's flagship. The moment it landed, EDI and Joker faked a minor malfunction that let those who wanted to escape hurry out before the Alliance marines and technicians could lock it down.

Those with previous Alliance credentials, like Joker, Dr Chakwas, and Ken and Gabby remained on board, electing to stand together with Shepard. Mordin, Grunt, Garrus, and Tali had nothing to hide either, feeling it would be best to endure a quick investigation before returning to their respective people. Thane didn't care one way or another what happened to him. Although he looked and moved the same as ever, Jack thought he was merely counting down the days by this point. Miranda and Jacob had lead most of the Cerberus crew out. The last Jack heard, she had somehow managed to find an anonymous shuttle en route to the Citadel, and from there they would do their best to keep up the fight on their own.

"Goodbye you cheerleader bitch," Jack had called amiably as Miranda and the rest of her group prepared to leave. "If I ever see you again, it will be too soon."

"Same to you, sad strange little girl," replied Miranda. "I am so not sorry to not have to deal with your headaches ever again."

"Yeah well, don't die out there okay? I still want to be the one to kill you, remember?"

"How could I forget?" said Miranda. Then her tone had softened.

"Jack, don't you want to come with us? The Alliance aren't going to treat you kindly, even if Shepard stands up for you."

"What do you mean even if he stands up for me? Of course he will!"

Miranda sighed. "I don't mean that, you temperamental psycho. I mean that they're not likely to believe him or respect his wishes. His reputation has been tainted by working with Cerberus. And that was before he blew up the Bahak System."

"What are you saying?"

"There's room on the shuttle for one more. You have a criminal record longer than you are tall, I'd imagine. I'll get you out of the Normandy safely. After that, where you go is up to you."

"Alright," said Jack, after thinking it over. "T-thanks".

Miranda had given her a wry smile, but made no mention of the fact that Jack sounded like she was choking over that simple word. "Pleased to be of service. Now get on the bloody shuttle, sharpish."

The cheerleader was as good as her word, getting everyone safely away. Jack took the time to say goodbye to some of the crew, much to her surprise. Before all this, she would have killed them simply for wearing the Cerberus uniform and not given it a second thought. Now she was actually sad to see some of them go.

"Jack?" said Miranda, before she left. "I just want to say...congratulations."

"News travels fast huh," said Jack, when she had recovered from the shock.

"It's my business to know what goes on board the ship," said Miranda. She was smiling, and it looked sincere.

"I'm happy for the both of you. I really am. He's so obviously head-over-heels for you and you defied a dreadnought to get him back after he was kidnapped. Best of luck."

"Thanks," said Jack again, dumbfounded, as she shook Miranda's hand and watched her walk away.

Later Jack had drifted around, trying to formulate some vague plans of breaking Shepard out of custody and slaughtering everyone in her path. But it had come to nothing. She knew she was good at the short term, the easiest solution to get what she wanted. For intricate, detailed, long-term planning, she needed Shepard.

He had given her a couple of contact numbers, one for his mother Hannah, and another for Councillor David Anderson, his old captain. But Hannah was in charge of the Fifth Fleet while Hackett was away, and she had run into a few problems trying to contact Anderson. All calls over the phone were instantly re-routed to an automated request to make an appointment in person. Frustrated, Jack had gone down to the liaison office and somehow managed to turn a simple dispute over a queue into a police chase that lasted half a day. Thankfully no one had been hurt, although she was forced to cause quite a bit of property damage while making her escape.

Then she remembered that Joker had talked about going back to his old bachelor pad in France, and with a bit of illegal activity managed to track down his exact address. He looked like he was going to have a heart attack when she showed up on his doorstep one night, completely unannounced. But he did (if grudgingly) let her crash at his place while she figured out what to do next.

The galactic media were going absolutely apeshit over Shepard's arrest. Everywhere she went, it seemed like people were convinced that the batarians were going to declare war. Of course this being Earth, it meant that they weren't concerned for their own lives. If war broke out, it would be mostly confined to the outer colonies. They were safe, and this infuriated Jack. However there was little she could do about it except bitch to Joker.

Jack blew out a cloud of smoke, venting twin-trails from her nose and wished she had bought a snack. Something touched her leg and she looked down in surprise. It was a bright yellow ball and there was a little boy standing near her, hands clasped, looking a little bit anxious.

"Is this your ball kid?" said Jack, picking it up and holding it out.

"Yeah."

"Well come here and take it."

The boy approached hesitantly, then took the ball, looking curiously at her all the while.

"You look funny."

Jack laughed. It had been a long time since someone had the guts to say that to her face.

"You mean the ink? I like it. It's part of who I am."

The boy had nothing to say to that, and continued to stare at her until his mother came to hustle him away. Jack stretched her arms, flicked her last cigarette away and got up. It was getting late and she better get back to the apartment.

A large man stepped directly in front of her just after she'd turned the corner into Joker's street and stared at her in a way she knew only too well, like he was undressing her with his eyes. Jack looked around, but there was no one else close by.

"You look like someone who knows how to show a man a good time."

"Fuck off, Bigfoot," said Jack casually. She tried to step around the man, but he placed a threatening hand on her shoulder.

"After I'm through with you, you'll learn never to talk back to me like that."

"Oh really?"

With a flick of her head, Jack shimmered blue and the would-be rapist suddenly floated in mid-air, encased in a biotic field. He tried to scream but couldn't, Jack was forcing his mouth shut. She disabled his omni-tool and tried out a trick Kasumi taught her. Soon every credit he owned belonged to her.

"Thanks for the payday, I kinda owe somebody. Be seeing you."

Jack sliced her arm upwards and the man was blasted clear over the horizon. She didn't even bother to look where he landed, instead walking on ahead to Joker's apartment. She walked up the stairs, opened the door, and found herself at a loss for words. Two other guys were sitting on the couch, talking to Joker who was in his armchair.

Jack stared at them, too surprised to speak. Throughout her stay at Joker's place, no one else had come to visit. One was short and a little stout, the other had long blond hair and big black old-fashioned eyeglasses. They looked surprised to see her too. Maybe a little more than surprised. Blondie actually had his mouth hanging open.

"Uh, hey," said Jack at last. She came in and closed the door.

"Guys!" burst out Joker. "This is...uh...my girlfriend Jacqueline!"

"What?" said Jack, dropping her coat on the floor out of shock.

"What?" said the guys on the couch.

"Yes...she...I...uh...we met when I was off battling the Collectors on those colonies. Didn't we? Honey?"

Jack's first instinct was to shatter every bone in Joker's body. Then she wanted to lie down on the floor and laugh until her sides split. Jack grinned evilly. If that's the way Joker wanted to play it, she would play along.

"Definitely. Come here darling. I've only been away for five minutes but I missed you so much. My little puffin."

Joker only had time for one terrified yelp before Jack leapt over to his chair and planted lascivious kisses all over his face, before letting him go and licking her lips.

"Careful, uh, sweetie. Don't want to break any bones now do we?" mumbled Joker, sounding out of breath.

"Speak for yourself. Personally, I love it when things get a little rough," said Jack with a wink. She went over to the couch and stuck out her hand. "Pleased to meet you. I'm Jackie."

"Hi Jackie," said the shorter guy. He looked like he was still in a daze. "Wayne."

"Garth," said the blond guy. "Whoa. I didn't know Jeff had a girlfriend."

Jeff? Jack frowned, then remembered that Joker's real name was Jeff Moreau.

"Ever since we met, Jeff hasn't had much time to chat up old friends," said Jack. "He keeps me up all night long, you see. Too bad we have to wait for the medics to patch him up before we can go again."

Wayne coughed, Garth gulped, and Joker looked like he wanted to jump out of the window. Smirking, Jack went to the kitchen to grab a snack and give them the opportunity to gossip furiously about her. She grabbed a bag of chips, wolfed down half the packet, then spotted a large cucumber in the chiller. Snorting with laughter, she took it and went back to the living room.

"She is a total babe, but she looks like an escaped convict! I -"

"AHEM!" coughed Joker suddenly, seeing Jack come in. "Back again, cupcake?"

"Sure am," said Jack, wielding the cucumber like a sword. "You boys were just leaving, am I right? Because Joker and I have plans for the rest of the evening."

"Plans..." said Wayne, his eyes fixed on the cucumber.

"We...we won't get in your way," said Garth. He got off the couch and high-tailed it out of the apartment, with Wayne coming to his senses and doing the same. When they were gone Jack advanced menacingly upon Joker, cucumber held high.

"Girlfriend, huh?"

"It was the first thing I thought of it just came to my mouth pleasedon'tkillmeohgodIdon'twanttodie," babbled Joker, trying to push back his chair as far as it would go.

"I don't think Jack would take too kindly to you hitting on his fiancee, would he?"

"I'm sorry. Swear to God. Won't happen again. Promise. Pleasedon'ttellthecommander."

The look on Joker's face tipped Jack over the edge. She tossed the cucumber away and laughed fit to burst.

"I'm just shitting ya, Joker," said Jack, when she had finished wiping her eyes. "Of course I'm going to tell Jack, but he'll laugh about it too. He knows he can trust me, like I trust him. And he trusts you too."

"Of course, of course. Glad to hear it."

"Anyway I never properly said thank you for letting me stay here. I appreciate it. Really. Here, this is for earlier."

Jack fiddled with her omni-tool, and transferred to Joker everything she had taken from the meathead she had probably knocked into the Pyrenees. She figured it would pay for two TVs, and then some.

"Hey, thanks!"

"Least I could do."

"You know Jack, I've been thinking."

"Have you now?"

"Yeah, I figured out a way how you could get in touch with Anderson. Why do you want to talk to him so badly anyway?"

"I don't, but I do want to speak to Hannah Shepard."

"The commander's mom? Why?"

Jack thought it over, and decided that Joker deserved to know the truth.

"Jack suggested that I sign up with the Grissom Academy and help out with their Ascension Project. His mom said something about it the last time we met."

"Oh, that's cool. I'm sure the scientists and researchers will be keen to see what you can do. Just don't knock the station out of orbit and you'll be fine."

"Not me, dumbass. If I get there, I'm teaching the kids how to control their powers. Maybe save their asses if they ever see action someday."

"You? A teacher? _You_?"

"Yeah, got anything to say about that?"

Joker shook his head and mimed zipping his lip shut. "Uh uh. Not me, no way. In fact I think it's a great idea."

"Do you now?" said Jack, in a warning tone.

"Definitely. From what I know, those instructors have never seen real combat. You'll be the first with some knowledge of what it's actually like to take on a charging krogan. Or Collector. Or YMIR mech."

"That's true," said Jack. She hadn't thought of it. "So, anyway you said you had a way to reach Anderson? I figure if anyone has the authority to get me a meeting with Hannah, it's the Councillor."

"Uh, hate to burst your bubble, but he's not the Councillor anymore."

"You're shitting me."

"Fraid not. He quit a few months ago after some wrangle with the rest of the Council. I just found out from Wayne and Garth. Guess who's taken his place?"

"Your mom?"

"Haha, very funny. No, it's Udina."

"That asshole?" Jack had never met him, but Shepard had talked about him at length. From what he divulged, Jack believed he would be happier killing Udina than he would a Reaper.

"The very same."

"Oh for fuck's sake! Now what am I going to do?"

"Steady on, Anderson has a lot of pull in the Alliance. Even received a promotion to Admiral, I heard. He still could get you that meeting."

"Okay. So how do I meet him then?"

"I call Ashley Williams. She's still with Alliance Intelligence. I figure if there's anyone who has direct access to Anderson, it's her. She can take you to see him."

Jack gave Joker a glare so fierce he was visibly melting in his chair.

"Of all the stuck-up, arrogant bitches..."

"Yeah I figured since Miranda's gone, you might want to get in touch with someone similar," said Joker, unable to resist the dig. Jack looked simply furious, but at least she wasn't throwing his crockery around again.

"It's never going to fucking end, is it? I guess after Ashley I bump into Jack's girlfriend from grade school."

"Now that you mention it, he did tell me about one or two -"

"Shut _up, _Joker."

"Shutting up. But hey, what's to worry?" He pointed at her left hand. "Don't you have a new bit of ink that you're dying to show off?"

Jack considered. She didn't like the idea of rubbing Shepard's proposal in everyone's faces. It felt like it would cheapen the meaning of what he did somehow. But for Ash Williams? Oh hell yeah she was going to make an exception.

"Make the call," said Jack, trying to keep another evil grin from her face. "I'll be in the shower."

"Don't use up all my hot water!"

"I won't, you big crybaby. And Joker? Thanks. Again."

"No problem. The sooner you're out of my apartment the better."

**Alliance Intelligence Agency Earth liaison office**

**Langley, Virginia**

**United North American States**

**Earth**

"Moscovitz! Where the heck is that sit-rep on the Salarian Union?"

"What sit-rep?"

"Our response to their analysis of the Cerberus data Shepard sent them a while back. Come on, try to keep up."

Moscovitz, a little, skinny man who insisted on wearing a tie even on casual Fridays, fiddled with his omni-tool and a new message pinged Ashley's computer.

"Thanks," said Ashley. She sat down and began to read. The information that Kasumi the master thief had hacked out of the Cerberus network during their little escapade in Hyderabad had been shared with the rest of the Council. They were narrowing down the areas where the Illusive Man's base could be located. Ashley had a thought that it could be a mobile base, and made a mental note to inform her superiors.

A passing tea-lady gave her a cup of coffee, which Ash accepted with gratitude. That was one of the perks of working on Earth, real coffee and efficient service. She always liked working in the Alliance's liaison office here, which had been built right alongside the old Central Intelligence Agency headquarters in the former United States. Intelligence work had a long and sometimes bloody history, and from time to time Ash would call up old records and marvel at the clandestine operations her predecessor agency had managed to pull off.

"Hey Williams, heard that they're holding Shepard in Vancouver," said Moscovitz, would-be casual, except for the fact that his eyes were glinting with amusement.

"I thought he was in Ceylon?"

"He was, but they wanted him under the thumb of the Admiralty Board itself. Plus there's less chance of him being assassinated."

Ash put down her cup. "Don't joke about things like that."

"Oh yeah, I forgot you two used to be a couple," he said, clearly not forgetting at all. "Are you going to go over and say hi?"

"That's none of your business."

"I might need to tell the Director, you know. To keep you away. Can't let personal relationships interfere with this case. Shepard is poison, half the galaxy wants to kill him."

"I might need to have a word with him too," said Ashley calmly.

"Oh yeah? About what?"

"About the fact that you're sleeping with a girl named Marie van Strauss, blond hair, graduated from Gronigen University in Holland behind your wife's back. I know she's not underage at 19, but you're more than twice that. I don't think that'll look too good on your profile, now would it?"

Moscovitz had turned a sickly shade of green. "How did you _know-_"

"Never mind how I found out, just shut up and get out of my sight if you know what's good for you. And if you say one word to the Director about Shepard and I, your wife finds the pictures in her mailbox."

"Pictures?"

"Are you still here?"

Moscovitz fled. Ash picked up her cup again and drained the last of her coffee.

Despite his close resemblance to pond life, Moscovitz was right. Scanning the latest news reports and updates, it was clear that more than half the galaxy thought Shepard was a genocidal criminal. The batarians were whipping up the frenzy, loudly and very publicly mourning the colonists who died in the Bahak System. Shepard's recent association with Cerberus did not help, with many believing he was a terrorist for even being seen in their colours. Ashley had agreed with them, once upon a time, but after he had gone through the Omega Relay and lived to tell the tale, Shepard had cut all ties to Cerberus. As far as Alliance Intelligence could figure, he had genuinely stopped taking orders from the Illusive Man.

Ash called up Shepard's profile again and went over everything the AIA knew about him. Most of it she had written and filed herself. His service record, their fight against Saren, everything she knew about the Collectors, which admittedly wasn't much.

One thing kept popping up. The Reapers. Ash thought they had done most of the hard work by taking out Sovereign. But if what Shepard was saying was right, Sovereign was just the tip of the iceberg.

She was ambivalent on the issue of the Reapers. Like most Alliance intelligence personnel, she was focused on stopping Cerberus first. But Shepard kept banging on about the Reapers. He was convinced that the Collectors weren't some group on their own, but working for the Reapers, as crazy as that sounded. The Citadel had denied all knowledge or even the very existence of Reapers. Debates raged on the extranet and even on the air whether they were a real threat, or some madman's fantasy.

Shepard had not done his credibility any favours after the disaster at the Bahak System. All his previous achievements were little more than an afterthought to the galactic media, Ash realised with sudden distaste. If Shepard's name could be dragged in the mud despite everything he'd done, saving the Citadel and the Council from Saren, Sovereign and the geth, they could do it to anyone. They loved building up their heroes, only to knock them down again.

Ash shut down her computer and leaned back in her chair, thinking about Shepard. The man she once loved, and lost, and somehow was back again. The soldier and the officer. The calm, diplomatic voice of reason and the maniac who continually left massive explosions in his wake. Her friend.

She didn't know what to think. The idea of more Reapers like Sovereign, hundreds or thousands more, lying in wait to launch a massive invasion of all of known space, seemed just too horrifying to contemplate. But there was a saying in Alliance Intelligence, "Expect Everything". Even the most ridiculous of scenarios. It was protocol to have a contingency plan to deal with anything and everything that could possibly be thought of.

This dated back to Israeli intelligence during the 1973 Yom Kippur War. Absolutely no one thought that the Egyptians would attack during the month of Ramadan, and on the holiest day of the Jewish calendar. But it happened, and afterwards Mossad had decreed that _every _scenario, no matter how implausible it seemed, would be given due consideration.

Ashley cleared her mind, the way she was taught, and focused on the possibility that Shepard had been right all along.

Fact: She had seen and fought a Reaper side by side with Shepard.

Fact: The Council were anxious to hush up all knowledge of the Reapers. VI assistants on the Citadel didn't even recognise the term.

Fact: Shepard had been right and she had been wrong about the Collector threat.

Fact: Shepard, even now, would not shut up about the Reaper threat.

Without prejudice, Ash came to the dire conclusion that she could not afford to be wrong about Shepard this time. She had misjudged him when it came to the Collectors and Cerberus. There wasn't much fallout (except maybe for their ruined relationship). But if she did the same thing about the Reapers, the consequences should Shepard be right were catastrophic. She had seen with her own eyes what Sovereign did to the Citadel Defense Fleet, the Alliance Fleet, and the turian armada. And that was just one Reaper.

If Shepard was right, Ash concluded, then remaining in Alliance Intelligence would no longer be a top priority. Who cared what the salarians were up to or what the volus were planning when giant space squids were dropping out of the sky and blowing up cities? Reaper indoctrination was insidious and absolute as well. There would be no way for a spy to tell who was under their spell.

If Shepard was right, there would be no need for Alliance Intelligence any longer.

Ash considered giving herself a few days to think it over. But she knew in her heart what the right decision was. She opened up her computer again, and began to type her resignation letter.

**xxxx**

Ash went out to get another cup of coffee and stretch her legs, and when she came back she was surprised to see that she had a message from an old friend. Several, in fact.

Curious, she dialled the number and let it ring. Joker picked up after a few seconds.

"Joker?"

"Ash? Hey Ash. Thanks for returning my call."

"My pleasure," said Ash, feeling slightly puzzled. As far as she knew, Joker and a few other crew members of the second Normandy had been released from Alliance custody, but they were still undergoing investigation to prove that they hadn't committed criminal acts while in the employ of Cerberus. In fact she had been asked to give a testimonial for Joker and Dr Chakwas, which she had gladly done so. "It's good to hear from you, but what's this about?"

"What, can't a guy call up his friend to check? Are you barred from talking to anyone who's even worn black and yellow now?"

Ash hadn't missed one thing, Joker's prickly verbal barbs. "Of course not Joker. How are you?"

"Great, just great. I'm chillin' in my pad, enjoying the comforts of Earth. But I sorta need your help."

"Sure."

"Wow, that was quick."

"Come on Joker, we've been through a hell of a lot. I'd be happy to help."

"Ok, but remember you said that."

"What? Why?"

"Just promise me that you'll remember you said that."

"I promise," said Ash, a little impatiently.

"Alright..."

**The Savoy Hotel**

**London, Great Britain**

**Earth**

Joker happily carved a slice off his medium-rare steak and chewed it with relish, smacking his lips as he did so.

"Boy that hits the spot. I haven't had real beef in a long time, let me tell you that. I mean, genuine dead cow instead of something grown in a vat. This is amazing."

Stony silence from either side of the table. Joker wasn't surprised. He waved his hand at a passing waiter.

"Hey buddy, another glass of wine please? Make it the 2115."

The waiter was trained to be the perfect model of elegant servility, and as such did not let his contempt for Joker's Alliance-issue flight cap to show on his face.

"Very good sir," he said, and glided away.

"This is nice, isn't it? Silverware, chamber music, chandeliers, all that jazz. I'm glad you let me pick the meeting place, Ash. You're picking up the bill, yeah?"

"Yes," said Ash, through gritted teeth. She wasn't looking at Joker, but staring straight ahead at the person opposite her. Her grilled salmon lay untouched on her plate.

"That's great because I'm kinda low on funds at the moment. Gotta buy a new TV," said Joker a tad indistinctly, his mouth stuffed with meat. "Also I figured that in a place as classy as this, the two of you won't tear out each other's throats right away."

"Oh I don't know. I could start now if you like," snarled Jack, her arms tightly folded. She had ordered an astounding amount of food, but like Ash they remained untouched in front of her on the table. Joker had been nicking some of her garlic bread when she wasn't looking.

"Just try it," shot back Ash.

"You think I won't do it? Cos I'll do it. I'll crush you."

"Bring it on, sister."

"If you were my sister I'd kill myself. You're not even a soldier anymore. Just a spy, right? What, didn't want to break a nail in a firefight? Prefer sticking to the shadows?"

"I've forgotten more about fighting than you'll ever know. If you try me I'll give you a short, sharp lesson."

"I was ripping slaver gangs apart with my mind when you were playing with dolls," sneered Jack.

Ash opened her mouth to yell, but Joker cut in.

"Ladies, ladies! Please! We are in the Savoy. Members of the British Parliament dine here. The rich and the famous and the powerful. Please don't make a scene. Enjoy your truly excellent lunch instead."

"Why the hell is she here, Joker?" demanded Ashley. "She's a wanted criminal! She's a murderer! She should be locked up somewhere!"

"You want to lock me up?" raged Jack. "Just try it."

"Just shut up, Prisoner 24601. Yes, I know you're on the Most Wanted list in Ilium. I'm talking to Joker here."

"Hey, no one tells me to shut up! I'll bite your nose off your face!"

"No one's going to be biting any noses," said Joker hurriedly, aware of the curious glances directed at their table. "Now Ash, Jack has an urgent request to make of you."

"Oh, so now she wants _my _help?"

"If there was any other way you best believe I wouldn't be here right now," said Jack.

"The lovely Miss Jacqueline here needs to speak to David Anderson, our former captain. Well, my former captain, you were never technically part of his crew. I figured that you, as a member of Alliance Intelligence, would be able to set up said meeting."

Ash began to laugh. Joker and Jack stared at her.

"Excuse me?"

"Joker, I resigned from Alliance Intelligence earlier. Right before you called me, as a matter of fact."

"Oh. Well, this is awkward."

"Why did you resign?" asked Jack, sounding shocked.

Ash wanted to make a sarcastic quip, then decided that this was important. "Because I believe Jack. John, I mean. He's fought too hard and too long for me to believe that he's simply making up this Reaper invasion threat out of thin air. If he's right, the Alliance are going to need soldiers more than they need a spy. I'm going back to my commission in the marines."

"Wow. Uh, good for you, I guess," said Joker. "Not so good for me."

"Why not?"

"Well right now Jack is sort of – uh – rooming with me. Not that I don't enjoy your wonderful company of course," he added quickly. Jack's only response was to draw a finger across her throat. "I hoped that once you set up that meeting with Anderson, Jack will be on her merry way."

"Why do you want to talk to Anderson anyway?"

Jack looked like she was debating internally whether to get right to the punching or reply civilly, and the latter won out.

"I need to speak to Shepard's mother. She knows someone called Kahlee Sanders, who's in charge of the Ascension Project for young biotics. I want to go there and help to teach the kids."

"You? A teacher? _You?_"

Jack growled menacingly, sounding remarkably like a pitbull. "Yes. I've been through more than you can ever imagine as someone's test subject. I've killed more men and ugly bastards with my biotics than you have with bullets. I'm going to make sure those kids know a thing or two about keeping themselves alive. And I'm making sure that you never ever treat them the way Cerberus treated me."

"We're not Cerberus. I'm not Cerberus."

"I can't be too careful. Look, will you help me or not? I just need to talk to Anderson so I can talk to Hannah Shepard. Then I'll be out of your tits and you'll never see me again."

_Tempting, _Ash wanted to say, and thought better of it. "You know, you don't need to speak to Hannah Shepard to get in touch with Grissom Academy. Anderson himself knows Kahlee Sanders. Old friends, I hear."

"Really?" said Jack. "That's great. One less step. So you'll help me?"

"Yeah even though I'm not in Intelligence anymore, I can set up one meeting with Anderson."

"Good. Uh. Thanks."

"Fantastic!" exclaimed Joker, looking absurdly happy. "Everything wrapped up, no broken bones, no one screaming in agony, no blood on the walls and the restaurant isn't on fire. Oh, here's the wine. Thank you fella. I propose a toast to our dear mutual friend Captain Shepard, may he live long and prosper. To the Commander!"

"To John," said Ash, accepting a glass and drinking deep.

"To my fiancé," said Jack deliberately. Ash choked on her wine.

"_What_?"

"Jack proposed. To me. We're engaged," said Jack. _So back off, _wasn't said, but it was definitely implied.

Ash shot Joker a look. He nodded, looking terrified.

"Well I – that's very – I mean – congratulations, I suppose," she stammered.

"Thank you," said Jack, as graciously as anyone ever heard her. Joker dared to look up. Ash's face was a stormcloud of emotion, but she gradually maintained a grip on her emotions. He admired her discipline and self-control.

The rest of the meal passed in blissful silence.


	33. Politics And Service

**Chapter 33 – Politics And Service**

**Arcturus Station**

**Themis**

**Arcturus System**

Not for the first time, David Anderson wondered if he had done the right thing by quitting the Citadel Council.

He had far fewer things to worry about now that he was a (relatively) free man, that was true enough. As a soldier, Anderson knew what he had to do. Follow orders from on high, give orders to the men below, try to get the job done while doing his damndest to keep everyone alive. The higher he climbed the harder it got, he had to rethink what they drilled into his head at boot camp and actually try to predict the consequences of his actions. He was good at it, and that's why he made officer. And because he never forgot that his orders were not moving abstract pieces around on a gameboard, but affected real people and real lives, he became a very good officer indeed.

Then Shepard had come along, and in him Anderson saw someone that reminded him of himself. Usually someone with Shepard's family history and shining track record might have made some superior officers jealous and determined to hold him down. Instead, Anderson believed here was another marine who truly understood the terrible responsibility of command, and looked out for him throughout his career. He managed to be subtle enough that Shepard barely even noticed his influence, up to the day when Anderson personally asked for him to be assigned to the experimental Normandy SR-1.

Therefore it had come as something of a surprise when Shepard had turned around and returned the favour. During that one perfect moment after Saren and Sovereign had been defeated, and the Citadel Council were grateful to oblige any request made by their saviour. By nominating him for a spot on the Council, Shepard had rocketed Anderson upwards into a position where he wielded more power and influence than the governors of any ten planets, the leaders back on Earth, or even the Prime Minister of the Alliance itself.

Anderson wondered sometimes if Shepard truly grasped the scale of what he achieved. Less than fifty years ago humanity wasn't even sure if there were such things as aliens, today they had a seat on the galactic government. Not just representation, but actual executive power. There were other species who had waited centuries just to get an Ambassador on the Citadel, as the volus were quick to point out.

Anderson had gone from merely worrying about the ship under his command to the fate of the entire human race as directed through galactic politics. Every time he made a decision or signed off on some order, he couldn't help but remember the billions and billions of humans whose lives he was transforming. He had been an officer too long to dismiss these concerns.

He felt as if he was now captaining a ship that held all of humanity inside, and one wrong move would doom them all. He knew a better politician would be able to remain coldly focused on the job and mercilessly calculate the needs of the many as opposed to the few. But Anderson couldn't do that. He cared about everyone, and every person he couldn't help or save gnawed away at his soul. It was what made him a great officer, and it was also what undermined his effectiveness as humanity's Councillor.

In his darker moments, he cursed Shepard for bestowing this crushing responsibility upon him.

Didn't he _think _for a second about what he was asking Anderson to do? All those lives hanging on the words he spoke or wrote down, navigating the byzantine politics of the Citadel races?

The asari had achieved global unity on Thessia, _transcending _partisan politics itself before the first humans had realised that fire made food taste better. The salarians had schemes upon schemes upon shadowy schemes, contingency plans, backup protocols, mapping out the most advantageous response to literally every scenario that could physically happen, and they moved and spoke and thought so fast they could get done in a day what took a human a week. The turians were fairly straightforward and predictable, insofar as it came to politics, but they had overwhelming military might and were not afraid to throw it around a little.

Waiting in the wings were the volus, the elcor, the hanar, and others who each had their own agenda and cared little for humanity's interests.

Although Anderson had the influence and resources of the Alliance's State Department behind him, and dozens of capable, experienced diplomats, they had a hell of a lot of ground to make up. Humanity hadn't gradually earned their Council seat over time. They won it in a single blaze of glory by killing a Reaper, largely thanks to Shepard. It was a fantastic reward, but Anderson wasn't sure that humanity was ready to even comprehend the scale of the task that awaited them.

He used to be focused on one mission at a time. Everything he did was in service to a simple purpose, to protect the Alliance and further its peaceful expansion. Later...

He had to consider what a trade deal with the volus might mean for elcor relations. He had to think if beefing up fleet presence in the Skyllian Verge might trigger a war with the batarians. He had to encourage people to settle on colony worlds while at the same time learning that they were specifically being targeted by the Collectors. The Council had achieved a delicate balance of power after many thousands of years. Humans had upset that balance permanently, and the arena of galactic politics was still reeling from the shock. Anderson had gone into the job eyes wide, fully expecting a heavy burden. He just didn't know how heavy that burden was.

In the end, after another failed attempt to encourage inter-species fleet coordination as vital training against the Reaper threat, Anderson had quit out of frustration. The Council wasn't taking him seriously. Humanity had no natural allies on the Council, unlike the USA-Britain and Russia-China balance on the historic United Nations Security Council back on Earth. The asari and the salarians had extremely good relations, and unfortunately there was no prospect of teaming up with the turians to counter that due to the memory of the First Contact War.

It went against every fibre of his being to quit. Anderson had never, ever given up on anything in his entire life. Not even his estranged son, whom he saw once in a blue moon. He made every effort to keep in contact, no matter how much his son preferred to keep his distance. Anderson had crawled through mud with bullets in him and blood running down his face to finish the mission. He detested quitters, and giving up easily.

But sometimes you just had to admit that you weren't up to the job. This was one of those times. Anderson had a long and very painful meeting with Prime Minister Amul Shastri, a man who had no tolerance for any kind of nonsense.

**Executive Office of the Prime Minister**

**Arcturus Station**

**Themis**

**Arcturus System**

"Councillor, I refuse to accept your resignation," barked Shastri as soon as Anderson got the words out of his mouth.

"I am sorry, Prime Minister. I really am. But I cannot continue to perform my duties in this office to the best of my ability."

"Let's cut the diplomatic claptrap, Anderson. Why the hell are you quitting on me? You've always been one of the more dependable officers in the Navy. I need someone like you on that Council."

"No sir, you need an actual politician on the Council," said Anderson morosely. "I'm not one. Never will be. I'm just an old soldier."

"Damnit, don't you realise how important this job is? How important you are to humanity right now? We need a strong, forceful presence on that Council. Every day the turians warn us not-so-subtly that they won't help us if the goddamn batarians attack. The salarians refuse to share with us what they know, and the asari are happy to sit back and watch us screw up," said Shastri.

"Exactly sir. That's why you need someone who can handle all the doubletalk and weasel words and cloak-and-dagger stuff. It's never been something that I've particularly been good at. The longer I remain in this job, the further we slip behind."

Shastri grunted in annoyance, then got up from his chair and strode around the room. Anderson took the opportunity to look around himself. The Executive Office in Arcturus Station wasn't particularly big, and Shastri hadn't decorated it to be flashy and ostentatious. A bookcase, a couple of couches, an armchair and pictures of his wife and son on his desk. Shastri flung himself onto a couch and glared at Anderson.

"It'll have to be Udina then. For the love of God, I should have had him shot ages ago."

Anderson felt his heart sink. He had hoped someone else would take his place. Not Udina, who was impossible to work with, antagonistic to the point of belligerence and almost wilfully ignorant.

"I thought Secretary of State Halifax could do the job..."

"I need Lord Halifax," said Shastri bluntly. "I can't afford to lose him to the Citadel. Udina is a prick, but he knows the Citadel scene inside out. And you know he doesn't back down easily."

"That's...true, sir," conceded Anderson. It was one of the very few positive things he could say about Donnel Udina.

"Maybe he'll piss them off so much they'll shoot him for us, eh?" joked Shastri.

"If it comes to that sir, we'd better prepare for war."

"Ah. Yes. You know Anderson, some of the Alliance Navy brass aren't too pleased about your dire warnings about the Reapers. They'd rather you not go public on this."

"Sir, I believe we are in grave danger. We need to rearm and increase production of war assets as quick as we possibly can."

"Come on, man! You can't possibly believe this nonsense about a Reaper invasion."

"Sir, I do," said Anderson in a voice of steel. "I believe Shepard."

"But he's your only source! We can't shift to total war readiness on the testimony of one man."

"His crewmates back him up."

"Alright, one man and his entire crew. That's what, twenty people? Against the billions who don't think the Reapers exist?"

"If a million people believe a wrong thing, it is still wrong," said Anderson, quoting Confucius. "Besides, what about Sovereign? How do you explain that?"

"The Council says that was just a geth ship," muttered Shastri.

"And you believe them?"

"Of course I bloody don't. But I'm not prepared to accept that there are more like them out there on the testimony of one questionable individual."

"Why the hell not?" said Anderson, voice raised, his restraint cracking. Shastri shot him a look, and Anderson settled back down.

"Do you have any idea of the incalculable panic it would cause if we announced to the public that there was a race of sentient starships milennia old coming to wipe us all out?"

"I've been told. Repeatedly," said Anderson. Shastri ignored him.

"Widespread panic. Mass religious hysteria. Our markets would crash. Investments would dry up. A flood of refugees from one planet to another. It would be an utter catastrophe. And what if it doesn't happen? We'll look like complete idiots. The galaxy will never take us seriously again, and you know how hard we've fought to earn what respect we have now."

"Sir, I urge you to consider the alternative," said Anderson again. "What if Shepard is right? What if he's right and we are hopelessly outgunned? We need to at least consider the possibility. Can't we just pour more funding into the Navy, hike up conscription and recruitment? We don't need to make a big fuss about it, but at least do _something. _Please. I'm asking you as my last act as Councillor, as a Captain of this Navy, and as your friend."

"I'll see what I can do," said Shastri after a while. Both men didn't say anything for a few moments.

"I'll have to promote you, you know," said the Prime Minister.

"Sir?"

"I can't have some meathead Alliance officer looking down on a former Councillor. Effective immediately after your resignation from the Council, you are promoted to the rank of Admiral."

"Thank you very much sir -"

"Full Admiral. I'm skipping Rear Admiral. You've earned it."

Anderson's eyes widened. It had always been a dream of his to attain the highest rank in the Alliance Navy. But something about it didn't feel right. He'd been promoted because of politics, not because of his service.

"Thank you," he said simply.

Shastri was looking at him as if he knew what Anderson was thinking. "It's not all politics," he said quietly. "You're a damn hero. You've fought more battles than I can remember. You've earned this," he said again.

Anderson nodded. He was beginning to feel better with each passing moment. He was an Admiral now – a full Admiral, by God! - and he would be leaving the massive migraine of Citadel politics behind.

"Who will replace Udina as Ambassador to the Citadel?" asked Anderson.

"Hell if I know," said Shastri. "Ambassador's no longer the draw it was, now that we've got the Council seat."

"It's still a big job."

"It is," agreed Shastri. "What do you think?"

"You want my opinion, sir?"

"Would I have asked you if I didn't?"

"What about Deputy Secretary of State Serra?" suggested Anderson.

"Inara? You think she's up to it?"

"She is an excellent diplomat sir. Remember that time she successfully resolved that tricky trade dispute on Palaven? And she's the only person I know who can hold her own in a conversation with a salarian Dalatrass."

"Well she is a little young," mused Shastri. But Anderson could see he was warming to the idea. Inara Serra was one of the more capable politicians Anderson had the pleasure to meet. She was exotically beautiful, with tumbling black locks, flawless olive skin, and a megawatt smile. But under those good looks lurked a mind that was as sharp and incisive as a steel blade.

"Alright, Inara it is. I'll tell her myself and get a recommendation to Parliament for confirmation. As soon as I make Udina the happiest man in the galaxy."

"I'm sure Udina will do his best sir," said Anderson diplomatically.

"He damn well better. Maybe if he screws up big enough somewhere down the line I can replace him. And have him shot."

Anderson tried not to smile.

**xxxx**

As the Alliance's newest Admiral, Anderson was nominally assigned to the First Fleet. The First was tasked with the defense of Earth but permanently stationed at Arcturus, guarding the relay to Sol. Anderson made sure he didn't step on the toes of the commanding Admiral Ines Lindholm, instead working hard to make his job easier. Lindholm reciprocated, and Anderson felt they had established a good working relationship.

The new Ambassador Inara Serra somehow found out it was Anderson who recommended her for the job, and took the time to drop by his office one day to thank him profusely. Anderson had immediately seized upon the opportunity to ask her to do everything she could to prepare for the Reapers. Unlike the others who had merely humoured him, she appeared to take him seriously. Inara had promised she would do all within her power before leaving for the Citadel.

Anderson was starting to enjoy his new role. He'd always felt far more comfortable in dress blues than civilian get-up. He had a simple task once more; to defend Earth. He took the time to visit with every captain of every vessel in the First to get to know them better. A personal motto of his had always been to get to personally know every man serving under him. While that was impossible with an entire fleet, the least he could do was to meet their .

The men and women of First were proud to be entrusted with the defense of the homeworld, proud of their name itself and strived hard to live up to it. There was a friendly rivalry between the eight standing fleets, but the First always seemed to stand up a little straighter and act a little more regal than the others. First among equals, as they liked to say.

**Singapore Interplanetary Spaceport**

**Earth**

Flight Attendant Molly Ling was near the end of another long shift at the customer desk, sorting out passengers jetting off to all corners of the galaxy when a tall, confident woman who walked like a serving marine stepped up to her desk.

"Excuse me miss."

"Yes ma'am? Is there something I can do for you?"

"I bought two tickets for a shuttle to Arcturus Station."

Molly checked them on her computer. "Yes, that's correct. Is there a problem?"

"I thought I specified that we would be sitting on separate seats."

"I'm sorry ma'am, but there is no free-seating policy on any of our flights."

"Could you move either of our seats? Please?"

Molly checked the seating plan again, then shook her head.

"I'm very sorry ma'am, but it appears that the shuttle is completely booked. You could exchange with another passenger if he or she agrees, but please inform me if you do."

"Damnit!" yelled Ash. She walked away, muttering in frustration. Jack was sitting low in a waiting chair, studiously ignoring everyone around her.

"They're not changing our seats."

"Damnit!"

"We can change with someone. If we can find them. Someone to sit beside you for the next ten hours, that'll be easy," said Ash sarcastically.

Jack stood up suddenly and pointed to Ash. "Hey guys! Anyone want to sit beside this hot piece of ass? I'm happy to trade seats!"

Several men looked interested. Ash looked absolutely furious. One of them raised his hand tentatively.

"I'll trade with you."

"In your dreams," said Ash, looking at him with distaste. "Look, she's joking alright? My...sister's a bit unstable."

"I'm not joking. _Sis._ Anyone want to trade seats with me? Come on! I'm not going to sit beside this bitch for ten hours!" said Jack loudly.

**xxxx**

"Move it, will you."

"You've got a hell of a lot more space than I do, you move!"

"If you don't move you prissy Alliance bitch I'm going to blast you out of this shuttle!"

"I'd like to see you try!"

A flight attendant hurried over to their seats. "Excuse me ladies, but I'm going to have to ask you to please settle down. You're disturbing the other passengers."

Jack and Ash folded their arms at the same time, making sure their thighs didn't touch, glaring in opposite directions.

**Arcturus Station**

Anderson was reading a report on Shepard's arrest and custody at the Alliance Admiralty Board in Vancouver. The Alliance had decided to set a trial date for six months from now. Despite the fact that he was dishonourably discharged, Shepard was to be court-martialled according to Alliance Navy regulations 'due to the nature of his alleged crimes'.

"Those goddamn idiots," said Anderson, swearing under his breath. It was blatantly illegal, and flew in the face of all legal procedure. But the Alliance had argued loudly that Shepard shouldn't be charged as a private civilian due to his involvement with Cerberus. As an 'enemy combatant', he would be dealt with under military law. Also, the Bahak Relay incident was against a foreign power, not Alliance civilians, so apparently it was a matter of military importance. It was a flimsy excuse, but one they clearly intended to hang their hat on.

Anderson threw away the report and considered having a drink. It was far too early for one, and he knew it. Slowly, he forced himself not to reach for a bottle. He had his drinking well under control, but he couldn't let it spiral out of hand, not in the position he was in at the moment.

But the rest of the galaxy seemed to delight in making it supremely difficult for him not to reach for the bottle.

There was a knock on his door. "Sir?"

"Come in." It was Sam, his personal assistant.

"There's someone here to see you, sir."

"I thought I didn't have any appointments today," said Anderson, frowning. He checked his calendar, it appeared to be clear.

"She's from Alliance Intelligence," said his assistant, in a slightly lower tone. The agents had a fearsome reputation.

"Send her in," said Anderson. He sat back in his chair, readying himself for an uncomfortable talk with an intelligence agent. To his surprise and delight, somebody familiar walked in.

"Agent Williams!"

"Hello Admiral," said Ash. She looked about as pleased as he was to see her. "Nice to see you again." She ripped off a salute, which he returned, and then shook his hand.

"Please, take a seat. What can I do for you?"

"It's not for me sir," said Ashley. "It's for uh, a friend."

A loud shout from outside Anderson's office made both of them turn their heads.

"I'm allowed to be here, alright? I got past security, didn't I?"

"If you did you should have a pass, I demand to see your pass!"

"Nobody demands me anything, just back off!"

Anderson stood up. "Sam, is there trouble?" he said loudly.

The door opened, and Sam poked her head around it.

"There's some psycho who's trying to come in here, sir!"

Ash was pinching the bridge of her nose. "Sir, this is the person I was referring to."

"It's alright Sam, let her in," said Anderson quickly. The door was shoved open a little wider and Jack strode in, sitting in another chair beside Ashley. Anderson stared. Here was a woman which completely left him speechless. Her cut mohawk and short ponytail, her whipcord-lean body, her piercing eyes, her lips drawn in a thin, tight line, she looked like a punk who ran with gangs in the slums of Earth. Her tattoos were amazing too, so many intricate designs and details that she looked less a person and more a living artwork.

"Sir, this is Jack. Jack was one of Shepard's crew during the mission to the Collector Base."

"You were there on that base? You fought with Shepard?"

"Hell yeah," said Jack. Her voice was rough, challenging, but Anderson thought it could be sweet if she wanted to be. Unfortunately she didn't look anywhere near wanting to. "Went through the whole thing and back out again. Blew up the Collector Base and gave the Illusive Man a big fuck you."

"Wait, you spoke to the Illusive Man?"

"Well it was a holo, but yeah."

Anderson tried to find a response and failed. He had some vague reports from Alliance Intelligence about each of Shepard's crew, and knew a bit about Jack's history from Ashley's report, but he never actually thought he would be speaking to her in person.

Jack looked puzzled. "Is there something you want to ask?"

"Lots of things really," said Anderson, recovering. "But first of all, Agent Williams said you needed my help. What do you want me to do?"

Jack rubbed her arm and looked away. She looked as though she was gathering the courage to speak.

"I heard you can get me in touch with the Ascension Project at the Jon Grissom Academy," said Jack slowly. "I want to help out, any way I can. Jack...Shepard, I mean, thought it was a good idea. It was what he wanted me to do, before the idiot gave himself up to the Alliance."

Anderson stroked his chin. A thousand questions were swirling around in his mind. He felt wary, like he needed to watch his step around Jack. One wrong move, one wrong word and it could all go horribly wrong. But Anderson had a good instinct about people, and he trusted Shepard's judgment. If she had been part of his crew during the mission to the Collector Base, he must have seen something noteworthy in her. He made a decision.

"Ashley, would you mind waiting outside my office for a moment? Go and have a drink or something to eat if you like. I want to speak to Jack in private."

"Aye aye sir," said Ash, getting up. "But I did want to talk to you about a separate issue."

"Understood. Come and see me once our talk is over," said Anderson. Ash left the room, shutting the door behind her. There wasn't a sound save the ticking of a clock as Anderson and Jack studied each other.

**xxxx**

Jack was feeling slightly skittish. She didn't generally like being in rooms alone with someone else. What if this guy Anderson pulled out a gun and shot her? No one would know. And she wasn't sure she could throw up a shield fast enough at this range.

She knew Anderson was eyeing her tattoos, but she observed him as well and found herself liking what she saw. Anderson was old, but not decrepit, and had kept up his fitness despite his advancing years. He had a grim, solemn face that had clearly seen the scars of battle, but Jack didn't mind that. She found that she preferred it to those who smiled prettily to her face and savaged her behind her back. His voice was authoritative, clearly someone used to giving orders and having them obeyed. But it was calm as well. She felt like she could trust him.

"You know, Jack talks about you a lot," Jack found herself saying.

"Does he now," said Anderson. There was a small smile on his face.

"Yeah. Keeps banging on about what a big hero you are. I get the feeling he wants to be you someday."

Anderson chuckled. "I think he's done more than I ever have already," he said.

"Yeah well," said Jack non-committally. There was silence for a while.

"You called him Jack," said Anderson, perceptive as ever.

"Yeah."

"You're called Jack too, right? Must be confusing," said Anderson.

"He calls me Jackie," said Jack. She secretly liked it when Shepard did. She had carved a swathe of terror across the galaxy as 'Jack', but as 'Jackie' she was the person Shepard loved.

"May I do the same?"

"If you like," allowed Jack.

"The reason I ask, Jackie, is because Shepard lets very few people call him Jack. It was his childhood nickname, you know."

"Yeah, he told me."

"What is he to you?"

Jack gave him a suspicious look. But Anderson didn't look like he was judging or secretly mocking her. There was almost a paternal air of concern about him. She decided to tell him the truth.

"I love him," said Jack quietly. As always, she felt a warm glow of pleasure as she said the words. She rubbed her left ring finger absent-mindedly, where Shepard's name was inked there permanently. "And we're engaged."

"You're his fiancee?" said Anderson. Jack looked at him sharply. Was he shocked that Shepard could love someone like her? But Anderson looked pleasantly surprised.

"I never ever thought he would find the time. Well, I'm very pleased for the both of you," said Anderson. He reached out his hand, and Jack shook it. The atmosphere was a great deal more relaxed after that.

Anderson told her what he knew about the Jon Grissom Academy. "It's in orbit above Elysium, the staff and students like to get down planetside for holidays."

"Elysium? Isn't that where Shepard had some big fight?"

"He held off tens of thousands of batarians and other slavers during the Skyllian Blitz," said Anderson. "Delayed them long enough for a rescue fleet to evacuate most of the planet. He won the Star of Terra for that."

Anderson looked at a locked safe in the corner of his office. "I still have it, matter of fact."

"Jack gave it to you?"

"Yeah. After he was discharged from the Alliance the first time."

"You assholes should never have done that," said Jack angrily.

"It wasn't my call. I was Councillor at the time, and argued strongly against it, but the Alliance brass went ahead and threw him out."

"You could have done something."

"I did all I could. Besides, Cerberus's name is poison. Anyone working with them is thought of as an irredeemable terrorist. Even the Hero of Elysium."

Jack opened her mouth to say something, then realised she would have agreed, once upon a time.

"You've had a long history with Cerberus, if what I've learned is true," said Anderson carefully, watching her closely.

"I don't like people prying into my life," said Jack.

"I'm sorry. But we thought it would be important to know who Shepard worked with during his association with Cerberus."

"I am _not _Cerberus!" shouted Jack. Anderson didn't seem intimidated, but held her gaze.

"I know. I'm not saying you were. And I know Shepard isn't," he said, his voice level.

"I was there when the Illusive Man wanted him to hand over that big ass Reaper-Collector base to him," said Jack forcefully. "Jack told him to fuck off and blew it up instead."

Jack realised she might have said a little more than she meant to. She noticed a gleam in Anderson's eye.

"So that's what happened," he said softly.

"Anyway this is all irrelevant," said Jack. "We were talking about the Academy."

"Jackie, let me be straight with you."

"Works for me."

"I'll make you a deal. You tell me everything that happened during the mission to the Collector Base. Specifically, anything to do with Cerberus."

"Why do you need me? Aren't you guys interrogating Joker and Dr Chakwas and the rest of them too dumb to run away?"

"We're questioning them, not interrogating them," corrected Anderson. "They've given us valuable information, Garrus and Tali among them."

**xxxx**

Interview transcripts

Crew of John Kennedy Shepard (former Staff Commander in Alliance Marine Corps) during COLLECTOR BASE mission

Classified top secret, Alpha level clearance required

Garrus Vakarian, turian mercenary

Wanted on Omega under pseudonym 'Archangel'

Former C-Sec Officer

"Yeah, I led the other fireteam. You might say I had the harder job. We were meant to be targets, distractions. But let me tell you something, once you've faced down entire merc gangs on Omega, you realise you can get through pretty much anything. In fact without me Shepard would never have gotten out of there alive. Believe it."

Tali'Zorah nar Rayya vas Normandy, quarian engineer

Notable representative of the Migrant Fleet

"He made me crawl through vents! Vents with boiling hot steam!"

Mordin Solus, salarian scientist

Physician on Omega

(Suspected) former operative of the Special Tasks Group

"Was tasked to escort non-combatant personnel back to the Normandy. Reached holding area just in time to free crewmembers from stasis-pods. Saw for myself the liquefaction of other kidnapped colonists to provide raw materials for proto-Reaper. Will be happy to provide schematics and scans if required. Every bit of knowledge essential."

Thane Krios, drell sniper

Suspected assassin

"I will tell you what I believe you need to know. I will not reveal more than that. If you wish to intimidate me with physical violence and threats of death, do not bother."

Jeff 'Joker' Moreau, pilot of the Normandy SR-2

Former Flight Lieutenant, Alliance Navy

"Hell yeah I quit. Shepard's the only one around who's focused on the real threat. He needs the best, and I am the best damn pilot around. Anyone who's ever killed a Reaper or flown through the Omega Relay and back out again, raise their hand. Come on, raise them. Do you see whose hand is raised? Mine, not yours. There's a reason for that, and the reason is because I am awesome."

Grunt, krogan warrior

Apparent adolescent

(Long period of silence)

"Do you know I could kill you with one finger? Half a finger, even."

Dr Karin Chakwas

Alliance Navy Medical Officer

"Listen up, sonny, because there's nothing you can charge me with. If you check your personnel records, I applied for an indefinite leave of absence before I left to join Commander Shepard and it was granted. You can fire the clerk who did that if you like, but technically I never left the Alliance.

Also if you check my financial records and bank account statements, you will notice that I never accepted any kind of financial or material compensation from Cerberus. So I was never in their employ and you cannot say that I was. What I did was to volunteer to help a friend. If you try to charge me with dereliction of duty or treason, I'll slap you with a lawsuit so fast it'll make your head spin. If you don't like it, take it up with Admiral Hackett."

**xxxx**

Anderson continued. "But they said that while they held the line or went back to the Normandy, Shepard took both you and Miranda Lawson along with him for the final mission. We can't find Ms Lawson, she slipped our net when the Normandy docked on Earth."

"So you want me to tell you exactly what happened? Why?" asked Jack.

"It'll make it easier for us to prepare for the Reapers and hurt Cerberus. Is that something you'd like to see happen?"

Jack couldn't resist a smile. "Fuck yeah."

"In return, I'll pick up that phone and call Kahlee Sanders directly. She's a strong-willed kinda girl, but she'll hear me out."

Jack thought it over. "Okay, Anderson. You've got yourself a deal."

She told Anderson everything she had seen and done during the assault on the Collector Base. Anderson was a good, attentive listener. He didn't interrupt at all, but when Jack described the colonists melting before her eyes he clenched his fists and swore softly to himself.

"I'm sorry, go on," he managed to say.

He looked rather impressed when Jack told him how she held up the biotic barrier to protect Shepard as they moved forward, deeper into the base. She remembered every word of the speech Shepard made before he left most of the team behind to hold the line. She couldn't help herself. She remembered everything about Shepard.

Anderson shook his head when Jack described the human-Reaper abomination they had fought. "It's inhuman. It goes against everything we believe in."

"And Cerberus wanted it for themselves," reminded Jack.

Jack was there for the final moment, when the Illusive Man contacted Shepard and begged him to hand over the Collector Base to his organisation.

_"Shepard. You've done the impossible," said the holo of the Illusive Man._

_"I didn't do it alone, and it's not over yet," Shepard said, turning back to concentrate on the console. "I still have to destroy the base." _

_"Not necessarily," he cut in. "I'm looking at the schematics that EDI uploaded. A timed radiation pulse will kill the remaining Collectors, but leave the machinery and technology intact. This is our chance, Shepard. They were building a Reaper. That knowledge, that framework...it could save us."_

_"They liquified people, you sick fuck! Turned them into protein mush to feed their walking abomination! I'm going to destroy this base!" _

_"My goal is to save humanity from the Reapers, at any cost! I've never hidden that from you!"_

_"That's about the only thing you've never hidden from me."_

_"Imagine how many lives could be saved if we keep this base intact and use its knowledge against the Reapers! Imagine the lives that will be lost if we don't. You stand on the edge of history, Shepard. What you decide today will decide all of our fates. If you destroy this base you will be destroying the key to our survival as a species!"_

_Shepard paused for a moment. He looked as if he was wrestling with some internal dilemma. Then his face cleared, and smiling, he turned to Jack._

_"Would you like to tell Tim what we think of his offer, Jack?"_

_Jack was delighted. She told the Illusive Man exactly what she thought of him. And what she planned to do to him on the day she found him._

_"Shepard, why are you doing this?" the Illusive Man screamed. "Why are you letting her make the decision?"_

_"Probably because I'm in love with her," said Shepard._

Anderson couldn't help himself. He burst out laughing, long, loud joyful laughter. He wiped his eyes, still chuckling. "Oh my goodness. What would I give to have been there and seen the look on the bastard's face."

"He did look like he shit himself," said Jack.

"Well, well. It looks like we have more to thank you for than we realised," said Anderson. "The only reason Cerberus aren't attacking us with advanced Reaper technology today is because Shepard chose not to help them. And he chose not to help them because he loves you."

Jack had nothing to say to that. To her horror, she felt a blush warm her cheeks.

"It's all you need. A great man once said that," said Anderson. "You've held up your end of the deal, Jackie. Now it's time for me to do the same. Sit tight."

Anderson dialled up a number, and his eyes lit up when the person on the other end picked up. He talked at length, answering questions patiently, explaining everything he could. Jack sat on her hands and waited. If this didn't work out, she didn't know what she was going to do. She wasn't ready yet to sign up with the Alliance proper. She couldn't room with Joker forever. And she probably couldn't break Shepard out of jail on her own, even if she somehow managed to find Grunt and persuade him to do it. Ascension was her last hope, her one chance to make a difference.

Eventually, Anderson hung up the call. He steepled his fingers and rested his chin on them.

"Alright Jackie. I have one question to ask before I let you know what Kahlee said."

"What is it?" said Jack nervously.

"Why do you want to do this?"

"Lots of reasons," she began hesitantly. "It's what Shepard told me to do. It's where I think I can help. But number one? Cerberus tortured me at an age where other kids were learning to tie their shoes. I've seen first-hand how some people treat biotics. If I'm there, I'm going to make sure that no one at that Academy hurts those kids. And if I do find anyone who is...you can look for them floating in orbit around Elysium."

Anderson nodded. "Right answer," he said. "I someone who knows what it's like to use biotics in frontline combat in that project. Kahlee wants someone who knows not to cross the line when teaching those kids. You fit the bill. Welcome to the Jon Grissom Academy, Jackie."

"Thanks," said Jack. "I-I mean it. Thank you."

"I'll work with Kahlee to arrange transport for you. Meet me here at 10am tomorrow morning. Good luck, Jack."

"Same to you, Old Man," said Jack, flipping him a cocky salute on impulse. Anderson laughed. That was Shepard's name for him, taken from Navy slang used by every crewman to refer to their captain.

Jack walked out of the office, glared at Sam, who shrank away, and nearly bumped into Ashley.

"You done with your meeting?"

"Yeah."

"How did it go?"

"It...I'm on my way to the Academy."

"Nice to hear. Congrats," said Ash stiffly.

"Yeah. I owe you one for getting me here," said Jack, just as stiffly.

"Wouldn't have done it if Joker didn't ask," muttered Ash. Then in a more normal tone of voice she said "You're welcome."

"Uh, I'll be going," said Jack. She walked down the corridor, then turned her head for one last goodbye.

"Don't die out there, Alliance. Kick some ass."

Ash smiled. "Will do. You too."

And with that, Jack was gone. Ash exchanged a look with Sam, and went inside to talk to Anderson.

"Sir," she greeted, sitting down.

"Ashley. Sorry we took so long."

"That's alright. I have a request to make sir."

"Another one?" joked Anderson. "I thought the never-ending requests for favours would dry up once I quit the Council."

"I think you'll be happy to grant this one. I've quit the Agency."

Anderson looked shocked. "You did? Why?"

Ashley explained her growing realisation that Shepard was right, and that the Reapers were coming. How she believed that in that in such a war, the Alliance needed soldiers far more than they needed spies.

"I'd like to come back to my commission in the Marine Corps, sir," finished Ashley.

"Hmm. What was your rank before you left?"

"Staff Lieutenant, sir."

"Surely not. Should be higher."

"I came up the hawse-hole, sir," said Ashley. "Served as an NCO for too damn long before I made officer because of the family name. And even then it was after I helped Shepard take down Saren."

"Let's see if I can do something about that. Anyway I'm sure you'll be welcomed back with no...alright, few complications."

"Hope so, sir."

"Given any thought to where you might want to serve?"

"I was thinking First Fleet, sir."

"I had a feeling you might say that."


	34. Hot For Teacher

**Chapter 34 – Hot For Teacher**

**Edit: **Hello readers! Lately I've noticed that I've been getting new followers and subscribers for this story of mine, for which I am very grateful. I'd just like to ask you to leave a review if you have the time, nothing makes me happier than seeing that someone liked my story enough to write a comment.

I apologise for leaving such a long hiatus between the Shadow Broker and Arrival chapters, had some RL stuff to take care of. Updates should (hopefully) come more frequently from now on.

Anyway, my sincere thanks to all of you who have read what I wrote. Hope you give me some feedback, and keep reading!

**Cerberus Headquarters**

"_Sometimes – history needs a push." - _Vladimir Lenin, revolutionary leader of the Bolshevik Party

"_Weapons are an important factor in war, but not the decisive one. It is the will of one man that counts." _- Mao Tse-Tung, Chairman of the Communist Party of China

"_Mankind, when left to themselves, are unfit for their own government." _- George Washington, General of the Continental Army, first President of the United States

"_Who can love to walk in the dark? But providence doth so often dispose." _- Oliver Cromwell, Lord Protector of the Commonwealth

"_Dark times are coming. Humanity will be tested, and although we may not know who will test us or why, we will meet these challenges as we have fought and overcome all the others. We must succeed. To fail would mean to lose our very souls._

_I will take on this responsibility. I will watch the dark places and illuminate them and gather those around me who wish the same. We must seek to obtain new technology and tools, because we can and will master them. Our goal is not mere survival. Our goal is to better all of humanity. Only then can we take our place among the stars. _

_Per astera ad astra." - _From the Manifesto of the Illusive Man

The Illusive Man enjoyed his moments of quiet contemplation, seated in his private office that looked out onto the stunning view of the heart of a star. Formidable shielding and filters enabled him to gaze into its fiery depths without harming himself. He had chosen to set up his command centre here for a number of reasons. Most ships would be discouraged from flying this close to a star. The radiation and flares it emitted would also scramble all but the most powerful tracking devices, and the few that could detect a signal were designed and owned by Cerberus.

Practical considerations aside, the Illusive Man liked the symbolism. Destruction was what fuelled the reactions taking place within a star, constant, never-ending destruction on a scale unimaginable. Yet without that terrible display of force, life itself could not exist, or thrive.

It should have made him feel better, smoking a cigarette as was his habit and watching the stars. Instead, these days he was feeling continually annoyed and irritated at the smallest things. Nothing seemed to go right. He was curt with his operatives and business associates, but he knew the real reason for his ire.

Shepard.

John Shepard was to be his _magnum opus, _the greatest undertaking that Cerberus had ever attempted. Using unprecedented technology that they did not fully understand themselves, Cerberus had conquered death itself. They had reached beyond the veil of the living to return Shepard back to his rightful place as the face of humanity.

The Illusive Man never wanted to be the face of humanity. He had studied every revolutionary movement in Earth's history with care and attention to detail. He noticed that icons and popular leaders tended to be the first ones shot when their power inevitably waned. Although the Illusive Man did not plan on ever losing power, he was taking no chances. Much better to remain as a whisperer behind the throne and use Shepard to achieve his goals.

To his anger and bewilderment, Shepard refused to see reason. The Illusive Man had stretched himself to breaking point, trying to accommodate Shepard's needs and ridiculous views. He had given Shepard everything. A new ship, most of his old crew, a home, a purpose. His _existence._

And yet like a defiant child, Shepard continued to betray him at every turn. The Illusive Man cursed, remembering his conversation with Miranda Lawson. The operative had wanted to install a control chip in Shepard's brain to ensure that he remained under their control. The Illusive Man had refused, instead insisting that Shepard be revived exactly as he was. Unfortunately that meant bringing back his damn stubbornness as well. It gnawed at him to think that Miranda had been right and he had been wrong.

Miranda. Her defection was another score to settle with Shepard. How the hell could he have swayed one of his most talented and industrious operatives away from Cerberus? Jacob Taylor he could have seen coming, the man was a follower, not a leader. But the Illusive Man had deemed Miranda solid, able to keep Shepard focused on the mission while at the same time subtly changing his views on Cerberus over time. Instead it had backfired spectacularly.

It was all so _pointless, _this needless rebellion, thought the Illusive Man. Billions of people thought he was a terrorist, he knew he was the furthest thing from it. He was an idealist. He wanted to build a new paradise for the human race, free from prejudice, no more needless petty squabbles over skin colour or ethnicity or religion or place of birth. He would perform all the necessary work himself.

Cerberus had assassinated Presidents, Prime Ministers, Premiers, the Pope, rigged elections, bribed officials, supported politicians sympathetic to the cause, stolen technology and developed their own. In doing so they advanced the cause of humanity beyond anything that anyone had thought possible. The Illusive Man was not blind to blood being spilled. He wished it was not necessary. But he had sworn to protect and serve humanity, if necessary grabbing it by its neck and dragging it to the finish line, and in doing so sacrifices had to be made. The needs of the many outweighed the needs of the few.

The Illusive Man knew this. Accepted this as fact, lived and breathed it every day. He would make the sacrifices needed so that no one else had to. 'Let them hate, so long as they fear' was a maxim he practised. He would give the orders to maim, murder and steal so that no one else had to get their hands dirty. The end goal was worth everything. Paradise was worth all that he had done and was prepared to do.

He knew it was pointless for the masses to see reason. Every great leader had encountered fierce resistance from the rest of the people during their great work. He did not begrudge this opposition, instead he welcomed it. The instinct of humanity to fight would be crucial in their bid to dominate the galaxy. It just made his job a little more difficult than it should have been.

Didn't they know only he stood between them and the Reapers?

The Illusive Man returned to the memory of his call to Shepard during the Collector Base mission, like picking at an old wound that refused to heal. He was so close to making a breakthrough that would rival the Manhattan Project, rival the Space Race or the discovery of the Prothean cache on Mars. With Reaper technology in their hands, passive and ready for study, Cerberus could even now be working on ways to fight them or stop their insidious influence. Instead Shepard had blown it to space dust.

And for what? What was the reason Shepard had intentionally destroyed humanity's best chance of survival? Because of Subject Zero.

The idiot even claimed to love Subject Zero. Initially the Illusive Man didn't believe him. He thought the simplest explanation for Miranda's defection was that Shepard had seduced her somehow (even though he thought Miranda was above such things) but he was reluctantly forced to admit the truth. Shepard had set back his plans years for the sake of his relationship with Subject Zero.

Subject Zero! Granted, she was the most powerful human biotic ever discovered. But the Illusive Man had never, ever thought Shepard could actually fall in love with someone like her. She was broken, emotionally crippled, almost feral. The methods used to instruct her were brutal, but he deemed it necessary. If all humans could somehow replicate her mental abilities they would rule the galaxy. Sadly the Pragia Project had only managed to make one biotic super-soldier, who escaped and slaughtered most of the cell anyway. The Illusive Man remembered having to shut down the whole operation, billions of credits wasted.

Miranda, on Shepard's request, had asked if he had known anything about the project. He denied it, claiming it was a rogue cell. To his surprise, Miranda had bought it, and relayed his message to Shepard and Subject Zero. As if he would allow anyone to operate independent of his control in his little empire. They didn't buy it, of course, but at least he had some deniability.

This disgusting relationship had never factored into his equations, but it had wrecked his plans nonetheless. And while he struggled to come up with a response, Shepard had wreaked havoc on his operations across the Terminus Systems. He had to put several vital long-term projects in stasis and shut down a few more cells while stretching his finances to the limit to recruit and refit a whole new army and fleet. It was cheaper to get mechs, and he was lucky there as he owned several mech-producing industrial estates, but no mech would kill Shepard. At best, they would slow him down while someone else brought the hammer down.

And now he had to deal with yet another failure. He had let Kai Leng wait for two hours. Finally, he let the call go through and saw his best assassin on screen. The Illusive Man waited for him to speak. He let the tension in the air grow, reminding Kai Leng of the scale of his mistake.

"The mission...was not a success," said Kai Leng at last.

The Illusive Man knocked some ash off his cigarette and took a drag before replying.

"You are the best, Kai Leng."

"I am."

"I expect you to succeed where others have failed. You did not succeed this time. Why is this?"

"Subject Zero was with him. We did not anticipate her fighting capabilities."

"You were briefed," said the Illusive Man calmly. "You were provided with critical information on the strengths and weaknesses of all of Shepard's crew. Shepard himself was unarmed and defenceless. Yet he walked away."

"Security and scrutiny on Bekenstein was heavier than I'd anticipated," muttered Kai Leng.

"It seems you underestimated Shepard twice, not just once. No more games, Kai Leng. The next time I order you to kill him, you will kill him. You will take no chances, you will not approach him yourself. You will poison him from afar or nuke him from orbit. I don't care as long as he dies. Do you understand me?"

"I understand you," said Kai Leng, looking as though it pained him to say it. "Are those your orders?"

"No. Not right now. Shepard is currently being held in the most secure Alliance base on Earth itself. I am not willing to risk further damage and disruption to Earth his murder would require."

"Then what is your command?"

"You will work for my contact in the Citadel and do whatever he requires," said the Illusive Man dismissively. This was his punishment for Kai Leng's failure, to be placed under the authority of someone far beneath him.

Kai Leng seethed, but managed to nod and say yes.

"You will be contacted if I have need of you in the future," said the Illusive Man, emphasizing the 'if'. Then he cut the call without giving him the time to respond.

The Illusive Man resumed his lonely vigil, watching, waiting and thinking.

**Some time ago**

There was once a little girl who was the pride and joy of her mother. She was as healthy and as happy as any toddler could be, more peaceful than most, content to sit quietly and watch holovids before settling down with her bottle for a nap. She loved her mommy, and her mother loved her very much. She named her daughter Jennifer, and she thought that nothing in the galaxy could make her happier.

One day she brought her daughter in for a routine checkup, and when she came back they told her that her daughter had died of a seizure.

_Oh God._

_We're so sorry._

_Can I see her body?_

_You don't really want to._

_I don't believe this._

_With your permission, we would like to keep her body._

_Why?_

_We can run tests, make sure no other family will suffer like you have._

_Okay. If it helps._

_Thank you._

One call later, and little Jenny was on her way to a new home. The Teltin Research Facility on the jungle moon of Pragia.

She didn't know what was happening. She missed her mother terribly, and cried for her every night before falling asleep, exhausted and terrified. She had no idea where she was, and no idea who the people around her were. They looked monstrous and otherworldly to her, nothing like the people she remembered from back home. Later she would realise this was because they were wearing masks and protective suits, and they never took them off.

Slowly she forgot everything about the life she had left behind.

One day she believed she had been born into the darkness, and would die in it without ever seeing the sun.

The faceless men seemed most interested in her little games. She once had made her mother's cat fly around the room, and laughed as she did so. Now she had forgotten, but they wanted her to do something similar.

She made small things float, at first. Pieces of fruit. Rubber balls. Sacks of cotton. But she always did it behind a glass screen and in a locked room. If she refused, she would be punished and she would not be allowed to eat.

So she did it. The faceless men gradually increased the size and weight and number of objects she was expected to move around. Until the day came when she was shoved into a hangar, and ordered to move a tank.

She tried. They would punish her if she didn't. She tried to make it float. It moved, a little, but remained on the ground.

She was taken back to her holding cell and left alone for several days. The little girl began to feel an emotion that she thought had completely deserted her. It was the hope that she would be freed.

One day, when she was listlessly spooning the high-calorie mush designed to provide the most fuel for her abilities into her mouth, they came for her. She kicked and screamed and cried and begged as she was dragged away, with no response from her captors.

They led her to clinically sterile room. The floor and walls were tiled bright white. Medical personnel in gowns and masks waited, impassive. There was a raised chair in the middle of the room, bolted to the floor, big enough to hold one person in comfort.

She sobbed as the restraints clicked over her wrists and her ankles.

A bright light was shone in her face. She couldn't see a thing. She could hear nothing but the indistinct mutters of the people in surgical gowns moving beside her. But she could feel.

She could feel the cold metal of the needle as it was jabbed into her vein, and the chemicals flooding her bloodstream.

A gas mask was shoved over her face, a hiss, then a sharp acrid smell as something filled her nostrils, and then lungs.

Then silence and the darkness for an eternity.

When she woke up, there was immense pain that felt like it could tear her skull apart. She spent days unable to eat, unable to sleep, curled up on her bed softly moaning in agony. The faceless men did not seem pleased by this development. She was taken back to the operating room, and pumped full of drugs again and again. Eventually the pain subsided, if never really gone for good. But the drugs made her feel sicker than she ever had before. She felt strange flashes of emotion, deliriously happy highs that had nothing to do with her mood, horrifying crashing lows of crushing depression.

Bit by bit, she got better. Then the faceless man took her back to the same hangar and ordered her to move the same tank.

She refused. It was too difficult. They knocked her to the ground for daring to talk back. She spent the night hungry.

The next day she was in the hangar once more. When the order came, she obeyed. At first nothing happened. She felt the same ripple in her mind and body when she was moving the lighter objects. She tried a little harder, and was surprised to _feel _her mind expanding, like she was capable of something new. She felt the raw power course through her thin body, and smelled for the first time the flash of burning ozone.

The tank rattled. Then slowly, ever so slowly, it began to rise in the air. The girl held it there for one minute, two, five. And then it crashed to the ground.

The faceless men were satisfied. That night she was given a different kind of dinner. One that seemed to fill her up more.

Over a long period of time there were more operations. More injections. She was fitted with amps that boosted her already considerable powers to unimaginable levels. Ordered to perform more difficult and complex tasks using solely their mind.

Then one day, she was taken to a different room. One with an immense pit in the middle of the floor. Along the way she had said nothing nor struggled, she was beginning to understand that it did her no good. But when she saw the pit, she tried to run.

A faceless man struck her heavily across her face, making her cry out in pain. For the first time, she tried to lash out with her mind, willing the man to fly head over heels and crash against the wall. Nothing happened.

The men kicked her into the pit and left. A heavy wire mesh sealed off the top, so she couldn't escape by levitating herself out of it. The girl ran around, touching the smooth, curved walls, desperately trying to find something she could use to find her way out, feeling the hot tears run down her face.

A growl made her pause.

A gate was raised, and a varren slinked into the pit. The girl didn't know what it was, of course. She had never seen one before. All she knew was that it was big, it had sharp teeth, and it was coming right for her.

The girl tried to run. Her powers were useless, she had tried to take out the faceless man and it didn't work. She hit one wall and bounced off, sprawling on the ground. The varren leapt over her and smacked into the wall, lying dazed for a moment. She tried to jump and climb out of the pit, but it was useless, the walls were far too smooth for that.

The varren had recovered. In the next moment, it leapt at her, pulling her to the ground. Its huge jaws snapped right above her face, drenching her in slobber. She screamed in terror, her thin arms barely able to keep it at bay.

Panicking, she lashed out with her mind once more. There was a moment of pure stillness, and then the varren was ripped apart right before her eyes. Its skin was torn from its body, flesh ripped from bone. It had time for one horrible, drawn-out shriek of animalistic agony before it died. Its blood poured down on her, painting her red from head to toe.

Lights snapped on. The faceless men reappeared, and lifted her out of the pit. She was taken to another tiled room, where she was blasted with strong jets of freezing water. Then she was thrown back in her cell.

That was the first time she had deliberately killed another living creature.

She had not yet seen her eighth birthday.

**Elysium**

**Vetus System**

**Petra Nebula**

**Now**

Jack stretched and got out of bed, yawning. She had arrived on Elysium late last night and checked into a cheap hotel. She was due to go up to the Academy in a few hours.

There were bad dreams again last night. She would never be completely free of them, but sleeping by Shepard's side somehow made it easier for her to face them. She had woken up several times during the night, gasping and reaching for Shepard, only to find a cold side of the bed instead of his warm body. Each time it was a little harder to go back to sleep.

But sunlight was streaming in through the windows and Jack had a sudden urge to see as much of Elysium as possible before it was time for her to join the Academy. She showered, went down to deal some serious damage to the hotel's breakfast buffet, and checked out with her single travel bag by her side. Travel light and keep moving, as she said to Shepard in the past.

Elysium was a beautiful world. Lower gravity than Earth, with comparable temperatures and climate and boasting some stunning mountain ranges, it was very popular for holidays and retirees who wanted to get back to nature. Jack wandered around, taking in the lush green scenery and soaring peaks. It was peaceful, and the people here seemed more relaxed than your average colonist. Despite its attractiveness as a target, Elysium had boosted security after the Skyllian Blitz, with a task force from Second Fleet permanently stationed in orbit. Handily enough for the Alliance, it guarded the Academy as well.

Jack had an idea, and asked around town for directions. Eventually she arrived at a large luxury resort, built with marble and white stone, looming over the tourist centre and the other hotels like a grand lady overseeing the other debutantes at a ball.

It looked perfect, untouched. But Jack tried to picture it looking like a warzone. Smoke rising from unchecked fires. The screams of the dying and the yells of the enraged invaders. The defiant shouts of the defenders. The smell of dirt and blood.

She had been trained for small-scale tactics by Cerberus, and she saw immediately what Shepard must have seen. Being in the middle of the district, with high walls and a formidable gate, it would have made a valuable stronghold and chokepoint for anyone who wanted to claim the town for themselves. Jack walked through the gates, automatically assessing weak spots, escape routes and fallback positions. It wouldn't be easy, but it could be done. If someone knew what he was doing. Fortunately for Elysium on that day, Shepard happened to be there.

He had resisted a full campaign scale invasion for several days, with personal sidearms, dwindling stocks of medi-gel and no one else to rely on except scared civilians and the few other soldiers who were there on shore leave. He rallied people to fight when they had never encountered anything like it in their lives with just his words and unshakeable belief in the Alliance to come in and rescue them. Elysium was intended to be a hit-and-run attack by the batarians, a statement of intent for maximum propaganda value and shock factor. Instead thanks to Shepard, the invasion was strangled before it barely begun.

There was no statue, of course. Shepard had insisted on not having one. He said over and over he was no hero, he was just doing his duty, and never seemed to realise that it made him all the more heroic. But there was a memorial. Elysium had to have something to commemorate its most staunch defender.

It was a garden, with a beautiful fountain. The rushing water added to the calm serenity of the place. Flowers bloomed in a riot of colours. A large chunk of white marble, taken from the ruins of the original hotel, was set in the middle. A simple gold plaque was mounted on it, with an inscription on its face.

_In 2176, the Skyllian Blitz was stopped here. Elysium will never forget the heroes who gave their lives, and the leadership of Lieutenant Commander John Kennedy Shepard of the Humanity Systems Alliance Marine Corps, in our darkest hour._

Simple, not ostentatious in the least. You wouldn't have noticed it if you didn't go looking for it. But Jack noticed a few bouquets of off-world flowers and handwritten notes on actual paper placed around the memorial. Even after everything that had happened to him, at least the people here had not forgotten what Shepard had done.

Jack looked around to make sure nobody was watching. There were a few tourists in the distance, but they were walking around the rest of the gardens. Stepping up to the memorial, she charged up just enough biotic power concentrated on her index finger to be able to make an impression in the marble.

She thought about what she wanted to carve. Eventually she settled on 'Love, Jack'. Was it a reminder, a promise, to him from her or vice-versa? It was all of them at once. Jack ran her fingers across the gold plaque, and looked around the garden once more. Then she picked up her bag and headed for the spaceport.

**Jon Grissom Academy**

**Orbit above Elysium**

First Lieutenant Kahlee Sanders drank deep from her coffee mug, and smacked her lips appreciatively. She set it down and gave the person sitting across her desk a warm smile.

"This is excellent stuff, David. Thank you for taking the trouble," she said.

"No trouble at all, Headmistress Sanders," said David Archer, smiling shyly himself.

"Now you know I told you to call me Kahlee," said Kahlee.

"You did. However I feel you deserve full respect and deference borne of both your appointed position and your unblemished leadership. I would prefer to refer to you as Headmistress Sanders in conversation and in writing for the forseeable future."

"Well I...that's a lovely thing to say, David. But one day I want you to call me Kahlee," said Kahlee.

"Perhaps," said David. His eyes met hers for a brief moment, then darted around the office, taking in every detail. Kahlee liked her early morning coffee and conversations with David. Commander Shepard had rescued him from some evil Cerberus experimentation cell, and handed him over to Anderson. The Admiral in turn decided that the Academy would be the best place for him.

David was quiet, and reserved to the point of iciness. But over time Kahlee had taken the trouble to get to know him, and she discovered he could talk the hind leg off a donkey when he felt comfortable enough. He was a natural genius at calculation and numbers, and enjoyed his work in advanced mathematics, dazzling the other scientists at the Academy.

He never spoke of what happened to him in his time at Cerberus, and Kahlee never asked. She knew a few details from Anderson's report, and didn't want to read Shepard's full report. David had been through enough horrors lately. There was no need to dredge up the past.

David watched Kahlee finish the rest of the coffee and began to speak again.

"Did you know that the term 'dreadnought', as in the navy name for a massive battleship, originally came from a speech given by Queen Elizabeth the First of England on Earth when she was facing the threat of an attack by the Spanish Armada. She declared 'Fear but God, and dread nought' and the first dreadnought built by the Royal Navy was named as such in her honour."

"I did not know that, David. That's very interesting."

It had become David's habit to impress upon her one new fact or piece of information since the last time they spoke. He was a voracious reader, devouring every text and holo he could get his hands on, reading late into the night. David had a clear preference for math texts, but he read up on just about every other subject as well. Kahlee rather enjoyed when he had a historical or biological fact to impart, she had more chance of understanding those than bleeding-edge mathematics breakthroughs.

Most people wouldn't take the trouble to listen to David. Kahlee did, not only because it helped him to relate better to others and slowly encourage them out of his shell, but from time to time...

"...and of course, by streamlining the co-axial flow so that the generated pulse transmits across two lines instead of three could very well increase engine efficiency even on a Kilimanjaro-class dreadnought by as much as 3.25 %."

He came up with something that sounded innocuous but could save millions of lives once the engineers worked everything out. Kahlee told him to pass it on to the other researchers himself. She could do it, but she wanted him to practise speaking to others.

David left with a shy goodbye and Kahlee prepared to start her working day. This could be an interesting one. Another person recommended by Anderson, but not just as a resident or a student. A potential teacher.

Kahlee flipped through the report with growing interest. This was the most intriguing thing she had seen in a while. She forgot to have breakfast, and instead sat at her desk, reading and cross-referencing and making notes. Eventually the rumble of her stomach made her get up and wander down to the cafeteria. To her surprise, it was already near lunchtime. A few students were sitting at the tables, laughing and chatting. One recognised her and gave her a wave.

"Hey Ms Sanders!"

"Hello Prangley. Rodriguez. Singh, surprised you haven't signed up for the next Elysium visit, don't forget. Dojkovic, drop by my office after class, I need to talk to you about your last exercise."

Kahlee had always made it a point to know everyone in the school by name, a habit she had picked up from Anderson. The students nodded and Kahlee headed to the buffet line. The Academy had an excellent catering service, in no small part due to its substantial endowments and funding. Unlike the previous BaAT program which trained students exclusively for the military, Ascension was more about integrating its graduates into society at large. This made civilian contributions possible.

She chewed on her steak and mashed potatoes, still reading the report on her omni-tool when someone sat down at her table, quite out of breath. It was Reed Barlow, another teacher in the Academy.

"Afternoon Reed," said Kahlee politely. "What's up?"

"Kahlee, I think there's a hoodlum on board the Academy!" he said, sounding scared. "She's in the docking bay, there might be more of them out there!"

"Would this be a quite young woman, short ponytail, rather slim, and with tattoos all over her body?"

"How did you know that?"

"I've been expecting her. If all goes well she'll be our newest teacher here at Jon Grissom."

Reed's face blanched pale white. "Her? A teacher? _Her?_"

"I've not gone completely mad Reed, no matter what you think," said Kahlee. "But Anderson vouches for her, and so does Commander Shepard. I think she has something to contribute."

"Shepard? Really? And the Admiral too?"

"Yup. So give her a chance. We'll see how it works out. I'd better go meet her."

Kahlee left her plate behind and hurried to the docking bay. A few students and a couple of teachers were pointing and whispering about the new arrival. Jack stood in the middle, looking around, looking absurdly lost and vulnerable. In that instant, Kahlee's heart went out to her.

"Hello Jackie! Anderson's informed me of your arrival. It's nice to meet you. I'm Kahlee Sanders."

Jack shook her hand, observing Kahlee carefully. The first thing everyone noticed about Kahlee was her blonde hair, it seemed natural and undyed and that was a rarity nowadays. She had twinkling blue eyes and had a faint twang to her words. Jack decided to take it slow. Unlike her meeting with Anderson, Shepard didn't know anything about Kahlee Sanders and had told her nothing about the Academy's Headmistress. Jack didn't want to jeopardise her chances of joining the Academy.

"Hello Ms Sanders," she said awkwardly.

"Call me Kahlee, please."

"Okay."

"Come along to my office, we can have a chat in private. You can leave your bag here, I'll get someone to send it to your room."

Jack hesitated, then realised that if they had a room for her already, it looked like she was already marked down for a place here. Still, better not to screw it up if she could.

"Thanks."

Jack followed Kahlee to her office, trying not to stare back at the people who were staring at her. It looked like a typical school, kids, teenagers, a few teachers. Not that she had ever seen the inside of a normal school, but she had watched vids. Kahlee took a seat behind her desk and gestured for Jack to sit down too.

"Anderson has told me so much about you," began Kahlee.

"Really," said Jack flatly. Oh great, someone else had been poring over her extensive backstory.

"Yes. So I think, in the interest of fairness, I should start by telling you a little bit about myself."

"Oh," said Jack. She had not been expecting that.

Kahlee launched into a brief history of her career, and her involvement with the training of biotic children. Jack's eyes widened when she recounted her run-ins with Cerberus, and she had to interrupt when she mentioned Kai Leng.

"That son of a bitch tried to kill Shepard and I!"

Kahlee shook her head. "I'm not surprised. He's the worst that the Illusive Man can pull from his sleeve. But I'm impressed you survived the encounter."

"It was mostly Shepard," admitted Jack. She told Kahlee about the fight back on Bekenstein, to which she listened attentively.

After a while Kahlee leaned back in her chair and took a moment to think. "So you can see Jackie, we're more similar than you might think. Cerberus wants both of us dead, and we both hate everything they stand for."

"Damn straight."

"You know why Anderson and I want you here. But I want to know why you want to be here at Jon Grissom. Directly from you."

Jack told her what she told Anderson, how she wanted to ensure that no one mistreated the biotics the way she was by Cerberus. Then she stopped.

"I'm sorry. I didn't tell Anderson everything. But I think you should know this."

Jack told Kahlee of the Shadow Broker dossier, and Mordin's analysis of her degrading medical condition. She uploaded the relevant files to Kahlee's omni-tool. Kahlee herself looked dead serious throughout it. When Jack finished speaking, she swore loudly.

"Those goddamn bastards."

"If it was up to me, I wouldn't mind so much," said Jack, shrugging. "Everyone's gotta die someday. But Shepard wanted me to be here. He thought you might be able to help me. Cure me, or something."

Kahlee sensed that Jack was telling the truth. She really didn't care if she lived or died, but for Shepard.

"I can't promise that we'll cure you," said Kahlee. "But I can promise we can do everything we can to try and help. We have some of the finest scientists, researchers and medical personnel in the Alliance here at Jon Grissom. If there's anything we can do for you, we will."

"I...thank you," said Jack. She was silent for a while. Then she spoke once more.

"Not that I'm being a whiny bitch or anything but...why are you doing this for me? We've never even met. Why are you going through all the trouble?"

Kahlee was surprised at the question. Then she remembered what she had read in the dossier, and realised that Jack probably had a few trust issues. The best thing to do would be to tell the truth.

"I have a number of reasons, so I'll give you the top three. First of all, Anderson trusts you. That man doesn't give his trust easily, but he's willing to vouch for you. And I trust Anderson. I'm happy to help him out if he thinks this is worth the time."

Jack nodded. Kahlee went on.

"Secondly, we need the expertise. We have fine teachers here at Jon Grissom, but most biotics who have combat experience are serving in the military on the frontlines, or training soldiers in Alliance bases. We're not a military base, the school has always been more about training biotics to use their potential wisely, and to help society. However, we do have a combat program, because I personally believe everyone should know how to defend themselves. If you fought beside Shepard, you've had tremendous combat experience."

"Ain't that the truth," muttered Jack. "You can't spend five minutes with him without running into someone who wants to kill him."

Kahlee chuckled. Then her tone grew more serious. "Finally, and this is the most important reason of all, Jackie. I've read a summary of what Cerberus did to you. I know it isn't a full report, and I know not even the most detailed report will be able to accurately describe everything you went through. Yet the little I've read is enough to make me want to pick up a rifle and start shooting at Cerberus and their people."

Jack laughed. "Be my guest!"

"What those people did to you was wrong," went on Kahlee. "It was sick, cruel, twisted and evil. One day the Illusive Man will answer for what he did to you. But in the meantime, if there's any way I can help you, I will. Everyone needs a little help now and then, and I get the feeling you haven't gotten too many breaks in the past. I want to change that."

Jack was unused to genuine kindness. For most of her short life she had only ever encountered people who wanted to use her, whether for her biotic abilities or her body for rape. Shepard was the first person who had ever reached out, to treat her as a person rather than a thing, and she had taken a long time to get used to it. But Kahlee's concern was similar.

Jack was beginning to understand that humanity was not as fucked up as she thought it was. It wasn't the cesspool of sin and muck that she would have gladly killed all of them, if she could. Instead there were other people out there, people she could put her trust in. She had found Shepard, and he tended to surround himself with people who thought as he did. Good acts engendered more goodwill, and the actions of a single person could change more than she could ever see.

Despite Shepard being billions of kilometres away and locked up in a maximum security prison, Jack was feeling happier than she had been in a while. She liked Kahlee. She wanted to teach here, and in the process build something for herself.

"Thank you," she said at last. "Does this mean I get the job?"

"Yes it does," said Kahlee. She frowned a little, considering something.

"Maybe we should have a little chat about proper attire first..."

**Teltin Facility**

**Pragia**

**Then**

Jennifer had been long forgotten. She had been given a new name by her captors. They called her Subject Zero, and it was to Subject Zero that they responded, even though she hated the sound of it.

By this time, she was no longer afraid of the pit. The faceless men had increased the level of danger she was exposed to, sending in more than one varren, other beasts from dark corners of the galaxy, and throwing hurdles like flooding the pit with knockout gas or filling it with dank water. It didn't matter to Subject Zero, she still managed to survive, night after night.

She was operated on repeatedly, sometimes twice in a day. After a while, she began to notice certain changes happening to her when she fought. When earlier she had sobbed at killing one varren, now she looked forward to it. She felt a rush of heady emotion when she crushed windpipes or flayed skin from flesh, watching the light of life in her targets' eyes flicker and die. One time after she had killed a berserk vorcha, she was surprised to discover that the spot between her thighs was sopping wet.

The faceless men noted her changed approach to combat and recorded it. She began the next phase of her 'training'. Subject Zero was encased in a simulation pod and forced to undergo extensive combat training for up to twenty hours at a time. Terabytes of information on techniques, skills and tactics were drilled into her by extensive repetition, as well as basic language and math, and physics.

Some days she was let out, and placed in large, featureless rooms. No human was allowed to be in there with her, but a small army of mechs crowded the area instead. The faceless men, no doubt watching her through a screen, informed her that the mechs were armed with real weapons, and unless she performed to the best of her ability she would be dead.

Despite the the forced changes to her biochemistry in response to violence, something always held Subject Zero back. But now she was facing a plethora of opponents who were not technically alive. They had no feelings. No families. And it was great to cut loose.

Her first shockwave took out a third of the mechs before they even started firing. Her biotic shield easily shrugged off the hammerblows of their guns. When they paused to reload, she struck again. The room was a mass of sparks and twisted, flaming metal.

The faceless men were pleased. Subject Zero received a day off to rest and recuperate.

In that time, they took the opportunity to dispose of the dozens of bodies of the other biotic children who had not survived.

The first round of unmodified, unrefined operations and drug-testing was potentially dangerous, and they needed to have all the flaws worked out before risking the procedures on their prize investment, Subject Zero.

**Jon Grissom Academy**

**Orbit above Elysium**

**Now**

Jack checked herself out in the mirror with a critical eye. Kahlee had politely but firmly insisted on a slight change to attire and behaviour, as long as she wanted to remain as a teacher at Jon Grissom. She had a new leather jacket, metal-studded and covering her arms. She had wanted to wear white bandage strips criss-crossing her torso and 'strategically' covering up her breasts, but Kahlee flatly refused, and suggested a tank-top instead. Jack didn't mind, it was better than strapping down her rack with leather strips and it helped to allow for maximum mobility.

Her midriff was bare, showing off her ink, and she had a new set of camo-trousers and a rather stylish pair of boots. She still looked nothing like a teacher, but it was a great deal better than the rags she had to wear after escaping Purgatory. Jack also decided to let her ponytail grow out, but to keep shaving the sides. She was no longer wary of looking a little more feminine, and still looked unique.

Kahlee had been brought up in Texas Megapolis back on Earth, and as such tried to impress upon Jack the lack of need for profanity. Jack agreed not to swear _quite _so much in front of the kids, but made no promises for what she said during fight training.

Other than that, she had a relatively large amount of freedom. Jack would run her own training program, and any biotic kid who felt like it was free to sign up. She set her own hours, after regular classes, as many times as she liked per week. There would be a staff member on hand to supervise and assist, a medical team on standby at all times, and students were informed of the possible risks of injury. Jack had to sit through a long lecture on exactly how much force would be appropriate to use, and sign a lot of paperwork.

She had stolen turian cruisers, faced down krogan who wanted to kill her with extreme prejudice and charged into a Collector Base with nothing but the shirt on her back (ok, not even that), but Jack was beginning to feel a little nervous.

Jack _hated _kids. Granted she hated most everything else, but the other kids at Teltin made her life even more of a living hell than Cerberus had done already. She was treated with hatred and fear, when all she wanted to do was to talk and reach out to them. Eventually she gave up, and decided to behave like the animalistic, irredeemable nutcase that they thought she was.

Kids, unlike adults, hadn't learned to shut up when she could hear them. Jack was always annoyed when she was in a public place and some kid wouldn't stop crying. Shepard, on the other hand, loved kids. Jack knew it, so when he'd mentioned her being a great mom in the past or similar, Jack had never really quite agreed with him out loud.

And yet for all her instinctive dislike for kids, Jack wanted to make sure nothing happened to them. She had to make absolutely sure that the Alliance wasn't taking advantage of them. If they were, then the kids at Jon Grissom might end up just like her.

_No one deserves that, _thought Jack.

Taking a deep breath, she stepped out of her room and headed to the Academy's gym.

It was of a decent size, slightly bigger than other schools, despite the limited space. There was a basketball court, and a big, open space next to it where tennis nets could be set up in the middle if needed. Goalposts at either end also let them play football. But it was clear for now, and about thirty students were milling about, talking among themselves and waiting for her. Another teacher was sitting on the bleachers, keeping an eye on them.

Jack entered the gym and immediately everyone hushed up, looking at her. It was a long walk from the front door to the court, and it gave everyone time to start whispering all over again. Eventually she stood in front of them, and the whispers subsided.

They weren't kids, Jack realised. They were teenagers. This was going to make things even more tricky. The students were watching her, waiting for her to speak. Jack hesitated. She had never done any kind of public speaking in her life, discounting the one time she burst into a bank and yelled at everyone to get out if they wished to live. Shepard would have been better at this. He wasn't there, but Jack had learned a thing or two from him. She hoped it would be enough.

"Listen up, all of you," said Jack at last. "My name is Jack. I am your new instructor for biotic combat. I've been in more fights than you've had hot dinners. I've been training to fight, and kill, since I was less than half your age. I've been in some places and situations that would make most of you run screaming for your momma. Heard of Omega? The entire station knows who I am, and they know not to fuc – uh – mess with me."

Jack paused for breath. The students were watching her with rapt attention.

"From today onwards, I will teach you what I've learned. If you don't like what I am about to put you through, you're welcome to walk away. The rest of you will learn a little something about keeping yourselves alive. Whether you believe it or not, there's a war coming. What I teach you might just save your damn lives one day."

Jack waited for anyone to say anything. No one dared. She took a step forward, feeling a little more confident.

"Alright, let's begin. Split up into two teams right now, and try to keep up!"


	35. School's Out For The Summer

**Chapter 35 – School's Out For The Summer**

**Jon Grissom Academy**

**Orbit above Elysium**

Jason Prangley stood in the middle of the school gym, nervously stretching out his arms in front of him. The world around him was a hazy, shimmering field of blue. Prangley breathed in again, making sure his field was air-permeable. The first time he had tried to raise a shield it was completely solid, not allowing oxygen to pass through, and he couldn't breathe. Luckily he had dropped it just in time. His other schoolmates had laughed fit to burst. The new teacher didn't laugh, but just shook her head. She ordered him to do it again. And again, until he got it right.

"Keep it up Prangley," she barked, striding around in front of him. "We haven't gotten to the hard part yet."

The shield wavered, and Jason tried to concentrate harder. It was difficult, with everyone looking at him. He'd watched a lot of vids where the wise old mentor urged the student to 'empty your mind', to achieve inner peace and stillness. Even some asari texts said something similar.

The new teach didn't say anything like that. She believed in focusing through need. She liked to say things like "When a bunch of vorcha merchs blast you, a shield's all that stands between your ass and a ton of bullets," or "If you get sucked through a hull breach, you better know how to bubble your own head before it explodes." Thankfully, the school's rulebook prevented her from actually putting her students through such situations. His buddy Sarah Rodriguez had pointed out the disturbing implications of the school actually having such rules in the first place, but Jason didn't want to think that one through further.

Not that this was any better. His schoolmates were levitating dodgeballs in mid-air right in front of him. He counted twenty. He tried to say something earlier, but his teacher said curtly if he complained again she would use baseballs, and later, rocks. Jason believed her.

"Okay," said Jack, surveying the scene much like an Alliance officer during a live-fire exercise. "No games, no playing around. Prangley, this is a combat situation. These dodgeballs are...let's say heat-seeking missiles. If you let just one through, you'll blow up quicker than a hanar stuffed with dynamite. Am I clear?"

"Yes ma'am," said Prangley. A bead of sweat ran down his face.

"The rest of you, Prangley isn't Prangley at all. He's a husk. A husk with biotic powers, holding up a shield. He's guarding the exit to a burning building, standing between you and safety. If you don't get through his shield, all of you die. Do you understand?"

"Yes ma'am," chorused the rest of the class. Sarah was grinning.

Jack waved her arm, and a bunch of other sacks thumped down on the floor next to the students. They popped open, revealing yet more dodgeballs.

"Use as many as you want. ALL RIGHT, on my mark, all of you. Three, two, one, MARK!"

With a whoosh, a dozen dodgeballs went flying at Jason's face. They hit the shield and bounced off. Jason winced, he definitely felt the impact. More came, and he resisted the urge to turn and face each one. Like Jack had showed him earlier, he just had to stand his ground, use his hands and arms as a focus if he had to, and concentrate on keeping the shield up.

"Keep it up!" said Jack sharply, to both Jason and the class. More balls hit the shield, the students were yanking them from the sacks and flinging them at him using only their minds. "Prangley, your shield's all that's keeping you alive! The rest of ya, time's running out! Break through that shield or you're all meat!"

Impact after impact wore down on Jason. It wasn't pain, not exactly. It was like a combination of a migraine that was steadily growing worse and intense stress. His muscles weren't sore, but he knew he would feel exhausted all over later.

"Keep it up!"

How many balls were there? Jason didn't know, all he could do was to wait it out. He was straining under the effort, they seemed never-ending. Through the mass of 'missiles', Jason noticed Sarah winding one up. It flew at his face faster than usual. Jason blocked it, but that was the last straw. His shield flickered and died.

"Enough," said Jack. Jason bent over, hands on his knees, gasping for breath. The pounding in his head was fierce, but it seemed to subside with each passing moment.

"Prangley, your shield failed. If the enemy had one more missile, you'd be dead right now."

Jason gulped and managed to nod.

"Rodriguez, you took out his shield, but that was the last dodgeball left. You ran out of ammo. You're trapped and there's a husk charging at you right now. Can you handle that?"

"No, ma'am," said Sarah, chastened.

"The right answer is 'not yet'," said Jack. "I'll teach you how to handle it, but if and only if you listen to exactly what I say." She turned on her heel and walked away. "Take five minutes for some R n R. Drink your juice. We'll begin again when I say."

Jason sat down on the floor, trying not to lie down flat. Sarah sat down beside him.

"What a shit job you did with the shield," she said airily.

"Was that the best you could do? Hardly felt a thing," retorted Jason.

Their friends were sitting around, sipping high-nutrient juice from foil packs and talking among themselves. No one was paying attention to them. Jason sometimes felt that Sarah was the only one he could talk to comfortably. They had mutual friends, but he found himself talking about more than just everyday stuff with her. The rest of the kids teased him sometimes for keeping to himself and indulging in his habit of reading up on historical and contemporary stories of battles. No one knew that he sometimes fantasized about being a great war leader, urging massive numbers of men and women forward for death or glory. No one else knew he came to Jon Grissom at the age of just six, or that his family rarely sent letters or visited.

No one except Sarah Rodriguez, that is. They talked about anything and everything when they got the chance. Sarah was a biotic like him, although her abilities were less powerful than his, as far as he could tell. She was reluctant to sign up at first, but when she saw how keen Jason was on joining the class she put her name down too.

"That was actually pretty good," said Sarah, a little more seriously. "Took a bit longer to break through this time."

"I just wish someone else would take a turn," said Jason, rubbing his head.

"All of us take turns."

"Yeah, but I get picked the most. I think she's doing it on purpose."

"Of course she does," said Sarah with a laugh. "It's cos you're the best of us."

"Nah, I'm not," said Jason, looking away in embarrassment.

"Course you are," said Sarah. "Ms Jackie might be insane, but she knows her stuff. You can tell she's been through a thing or two."

"Come on, don't tell me you actually believe half of the crap she says," said Jason.

"I don't. I believe all of it," said Sarah easily. Jason looked at her curiously. He always found it strange how enthusiastic Sarah would get about things, no matter how good or bad she was at it. She seemed to delight in learning all she could about the world around her, and learning how to use and control her powers. After one particularly trying lesson, Jason had wondered if life would be easier if he wasn't a biotic. Sarah had smacked him upside the head.

"Oh boo-hoo. Come on, Jase. Do you remember all those old comics and movies? We're living that dream. We're superheroes! We can do stuff with our minds no one ever could. Just have fun and maybe we can help people along the way."

Sarah was looking at Jack. Their tattooed teach was a distance away, talking to another teacher. Sarah moved closer to Jason and spoke in a lower tone.

"Hey Jase, what do you think of her?"

"I think she's crazy," said Jason, in the same low voice.

"Well duh. But like, what do you think of her as a teacher?"

Jason hesitated. He took a moment to marshal his thoughts, then decided to speak his mind.

"She's certainly unlike any teacher I've ever met before. Can you imagine Mr Barlow telling us the best way to take out an angry krogan?"

They shared a laugh. Mr Reed Barlow was their biology teacher. He was a very good one, but a little nervous and prone to stammering.

"She's very direct," continued Jason. "You're right, she does talk as though she's really seen and done it all. She might be exaggerating, but maybe just a little. Unorthodox. But effective. I couldn't even throw up a shield before she came and now I can do a pretty good one. Plus Ms Sanders trusts her, and I trust Ms Sanders."

If Jason was speaking to someone else, they might have teased him for using ten-dollar words. But Sarah merely nodded. Then she smiled maliciously.

"Alright. But what do you think of...you know..." she said, nudging him.

"What?"

Sarah tossed her head in Jack's direction. "You know. Some of the other guys think she's _hot._"

"What, seriously?"

"Oh come on, don't tell me you've haven't noticed her low cut top, her bare midriff, her nice ass in those tight jeans..."

"No, I haven't," said Jason, beginning to blush. Sarah saw it and cackled with laughter.

"Suuuure you haven't," she said, drawing out the word.

Jack finished her talk and went back to the group, signalling that the break was over.

"On your feet, up! Zhang, O'Hara, Alembe, come here. It's time for you to try to levitate."

**xxxx**

Jack ran the kids through lots of drills, over and over. If she was being honest, she had to admit that she didn't know what the hell she was doing half the time. Most of what she remembered of training was from Cerberus, and she sure as hell didn't want to repeat the same thing with her students. She stayed up all night researching viable training methods, and repeated it in her classes the best she could. Between that and the half-remembered stories Shepard had told her of his own training in N7, Jack got by. It appeared to work, more students were signing up.

Talking to Kahlee helped. The headmistress was always ready for a chat whenever she wanted one. She might not have known much of biotic combat, but she was an Alliance trained officer, and had long experience working in the Academy. She usually knew what would work and what didn't.

"You've got the hard part down already," said Kahlee one day. "You've got their attention. You're interesting. They always will listen when you have something to say. Don't you know how many teachers would kill for that kind of edge?"

Jack had to admit Kahlee was right. Everyone in her class always paid attention whenever she was explaining something. Jack had always known she had a colourful past, but she would never have guessed it would be helpful in a teaching career. Of course, looking like something out of a fetish vid didn't hurt either.

"Once that's down pat, all you have to do is to make sure they understand what you're trying to tell them, the way you understand it. Try to remember how it felt like the first time you really understood how...a rainbow was made, or why frogs have webbed feet. Or in your case, what it felt like the first time you realised you could make an object float. Then show it to them."

"I'll...I'll try," said Jack, unsure.

"This is all new to you," said Kahlee kindly. "But you'll get the hang of it. I know you will."

Jack had tried, and to her amazement, she found that it worked. She had the experience, all she needed to do was to pass it on. In between studying, she tried to remember every single time she had gotten out of a tight spot using her biotics. It wasn't easy, there was a lot she'd rather let stay forgotten. But she knew it would help, so she tried her best. Every Cerberus agent she'd killed, every alien merc or mech she had battled, every death trap she had ever wriggled her way out of, she documented the best she could. Then she tried to figure out ways to replicate them under the confines of a nice school system.

All the writing she did encouraged her to do something else. In addition to her attempts at more poetry, she began writing letters to Shepard. In this day and age, letter writing was almost unheard of given all the ways one could communicate instantaneously and face to face. But Shepard wasn't allowed any calls, so Jack resorted to typing out her thoughts whenever she had a spare moment.

She told him about how she'd visited Elysium, and saw the memorial to his courage during the Blitz. She told him about the Academy, and how helpful Kahlee had been in helping her to settle down. Jack wrote during lunchtime, in the evening, and long into the night about her students. Prangley was showing promise. Singh had skill, but his attitude needed work. Rodriguez didn't have the raw power, but she had a lot of guts. Alembe loved to levitate and even fly around a little. And so on with the rest of her class, Jack wrote down everything.

Jack didn't know if Shepard would ever get to read her letters. But she wrote them anyway. She sent them on to Anderson, who told her he would do his best to get them sent to him. He wasn't sure if Shepard could write back, but he promised to do all he could. That was enough for her.

She missed him. She missed him so much it hurt. There was a time where she would have laughed at the very idea that an emotional attachment could hurt her more than being shot, or stabbed, or hammered in the face. Now she was finding out how wrong she had been. There was no one to share her bed or share her thoughts, no one to give her a back rub and hold her when she woke up from a nightmare. No one to make love to until she thought she would die at the intensity of the pleasure she felt while taking Shepard into her, holding him tight until they could be one person instead of two.

The last time he had been taken from her side, she had crossed half the galaxy in a stolen ship to get him back. Now she knew exactly where he was being held, but it made little difference. No matter how much she hated the Alliance for keeping him in jail, she had to accept that it was his choice. He had always respected her choices, and now it was her turn to do the same for him.

All the same, it was goddamn difficult being so far away from him for so long.

Kahlee was true to her word, and asked the medical staff at the Academy to run full neural scans on her to determine if there was a way to limit the toll it was taking on her brain. They hadn't managed to do anything yet, but Kahlee remained hopeful.

"We just need to give them a bit more time, that's all. New Rome wasn't built in a day," she said. "For now, just take it easy and don't use your biotics if you don't absolutely have to."

Jack agreed. She no longer felt the need to take chances and defy someone just because they told her to do something. She rarely used her abilities, saving them for the appropriate moment during her classes. This had the unintended but rather welcome side-effect of making it seem more impressive when she actually cut loose.

She didn't how long she had until she could see Shepard again. But until then, she was beginning to like the new place in the galaxy that she had managed to carve out for herself.

**Teltin Facility**

**Pragia**

**Then**

"Wake up, Subject Zero," said a harsh voice, and someone shook her roughly.

Subject Zero didn't want to wake up. She had been having a dream, a good one for a change. She couldn't remember the last time she had one that didn't turn out to be a nightmare. But this was different. It was of sunlight, and green grass and warm breezes. There was someone else with her in the dream, a tall lady with a kind smile. She looked happy to see her, but so sad as well.

"Wake up," said the voice again, emphasizing the last word with a heavy smack. Zero woke up with a loud cry. There were three of them, gathered around her bed. In recent years, they were allowed to speak to her, but they still retained their protective masks and safety goggles. She still had no idea what they looked like.

"I'm up, I'm up," she said, trying to keep the tears from welling up in her eyes. They didn't give her time to pull on some clothes, and instead shoved her out of her room.

"It isn't training today. You said I could rest today, after yesterday's simulations. You said," said Zero, knowing it was pointless. It was, the faceless men ignored her. But instead of leading her directly to the combat arena, she was brought to the operating theatre and strapped down to the chair. She had come to absolutely despise that chair. Zero had no idea what they were doing to her or what drugs they were pumping into her veins, but she knew she always felt sick and strange after each procedure.

Her thin arms were marked and scarred with all the injections she was forced to endure. This time was no different. She kicked and struggled, but felt the cold needle puncture her arm and vein anyway. She screamed, wordless cries of rage and pain, but the faceless men took no notice. The syringe emptied itself, and Zero gasped as it was yanked out.

She expected to be hit by a wave of nausea and queasiness again, but instead she was feeling surprisingly okay. She didn't fight back when they released the restraints and guided her out of the room. The faceless men were taking her back to the combat arena.

Zero wondered what she would face this time. More mechs? More varren? Maybe a horde of vorcha? To her surprise, she found herself looking forward to the idea, perhaps try out some of the new techniques she'd learned during yesterday's simulations.

The combat arena was filled with more people than Zero had ever seen before. She had known that there were other children in the Academy, she had seen them from behind the window in her room. But no matter how hard she screamed and pounded the glass and tried to make herself heard, no one ever responded.

She might get a chance to talk to them before she started fighting. But they didn't look friendly at all. Instead they looked downright hostile. A few were muttering among themselves, glaring at her like they couldn't wait to tear her apart.

Zero stood in the middle of the arena, all alone. A gate opened, and another girl was shoved in there with her. Unlike the rest of the other kids watching, she didn't look angry. She was small, skinny, had short black hair, and looked downright terrified. Her fingers were in her mouth, and she was flinching at every move Zero made.

The voice of a faceless man boomed from a speaker. "Subject Zero. Today you will teach the rest of these worthless specimens the real meaning of biotic combat. This is Subject Seventy Three. You will kill her."

"No!" shouted Zero, looking everywhere for the source of the voice. "I won't!"

But there was a part of her that wanted to. Subject Seventy Three gasped and gave a low moan when she hear those words.

"Please," she managed to say.

"You will kill her," said the faceless men. "Or both of you will die. Do it. Now."

Zero crossed her arms, defiant. She wouldn't obey them. She would refuse to play their sick game. But there was something...something different this time. She felt like she wanted to try out her biotics. She wanted to see what her powers could do to someone who looked as weak as Seventy Three. If she could crush the 'head' of a LOKI mech, how easy would it be to burst the overripe melon that was Seventy Three's own head...

Zero blinked. No, she didn't want to do that. What was she thinking?

"No," she said at last.

There was silence for a moment. Everyone was watching Zero. The other subjects, Seventy Three, and no doubt the faceless men from somewhere safe. Then a beam of red light lanced from the ceiling and hit Zero. She fell to the ground, shrieking in agony.

"That was the lowest setting," said the voice smugly, when her screams had subsided into whimpers. "Defy us again, and you will suffer again. This will happen until Seventy Three lies dead. It is her fault that you're in pain right now. Eliminate her immediately."

Zero got to her feet, breathing heavily. She still didn't want to obey the faceless men. But that was being overtaken by the building anger she was feeling. She looked at Seventy Three. This was her fault. All her fault. Nothing would have happened if she hadn't been there.

As the adrenaline surged through her veins, she found herself growing more and more emotional. She didn't want to get hurt again. Maybe she would just knock Seventy Three out, and it would satisfy the faceless men. Zero stretched out her arms, and a wave of biotic force flowed from her. But instead of bowling Seventy Three over like she intended, it blasted her off her feet, sending her crashing headfirst into the wall.

Zero stood there, horrified at what she'd done. She didn't mean to use that much force! Seventy Three was not moving, but she appeared to be breathing. Zero took a step forward, then stopped.

"Finish her off, Subject Zero. Now."

Despite the red mist clouding her eyes, Zero forced herself to lower her arms. The other subjects, who had been yelling and screaming at her when she had lashed out at Seventy Three, quietened down as they saw Zero, apparently with a tremendous amount of effort, walk away from Seventy Three's twitching body.

"Your defiance will be punished."

Zero tried to run, but she was hit once more by the red beam. Screaming, she let loose with every bit of energy that she had, the biotic wave lighting up the entire arena in an eerie blue. When she had wiped the tears from her eyes and managed to get her breath back, the first thing she saw was the prone form of Seventy Three. She had ceased to move at all.

"Very good, Zero," said the voice.

The other subjects began furiously yelling obscenities at Zero, with some even spitting in her direction. Faceless men appeared out of nowhere, beating and kicking them into submission, and dragging them away. Another one came to take away the body that was once Subject Seventy Three. Zero watched them go. She felt sickened by what she had done. But at the same time, there was a small but persistent part of her that wanted to try again.

**Jon Grissom Academy**

**Orbit above Elysium**

**Now**

"Come on, Singh! Focus your biotics around your arm, and your arm only!"

"I'm trying," grunted Harbhajan Singh. Jack had set up a new exercise for them. She had procured sheets of metal alloys, a few solid inches thick, the kind used to make tank armour. How she'd done it only God knew. Winding up her arm, she'd punched a neat hole through one as easily as you please. Jason was impressed. Then the class each tried to do the same. It took a while, but eventually all of them managed to do it. All of them except for Harbajhan, that is.

In his (admittedly amateurish) opinion, Jason thought Harbhajan didn't lack for power. Rather, he was having difficulty focusing his biotics onto one specific area. Jason himself had found it difficult at first, but after a few hours he had gotten better at sheathing his arm in a glowing field of biotic energy. He thought it looked pretty cool too. When he got to his room, he was going to practise making it look like a sword.

"With enough power concentrated to a point you can punch a hole through anything. Focus!"

"ARRGH!"

Harbhajan unleashed all of his strength, and hit the metal plate. Instead of drilling a hole through it however, he shattered the whole thing to pieces. He looked shocked at what he'd managed to do. Some of the other students cheered, looking impressed.

"What the hell are you doing?" snapped Jack, shutting them up.

"You told me to punch it. I did," said Harbhajan.

"I told you to concentrate your biotics around your arm and punch a hole _through _the plate, not smash the whole thing," said Jack. "Do you have a problem listening to what I say?"

"Maybe I have a problem doing something when you won't show me how to do it!" yelled Harbhajan. Everyone else looked shocked. No one had ever talked back to Ms Jack before. "Besides, it's broken. Who cares if it's a hole of if it's in pieces? I still managed to break it."

Jack looked like she wanted to kill him. She opened her mouth to speak, then shut it. To Prangley, it seemed like she was on the verge of blowing up in rage. When she at last spoke, her voice sounded like sparks scraping off steel.

"The reason why I want you to do this, Singh, is because in battle you need precision as well as brute force. Imagine you're trying to infiltrate a security facility. Your commander needs you to drill a hole in the wall as quietly as possible to sneak in, not to bring the whole goddamn building crashing down. Do you understand me?"

Harbhajan looked chastised during Jack's explanation, but when she finished speaking he shot back almost immediately.

"Yeah, well, I don't have to take your crap any more. I quit this stupid class," said Harbhajan. He walked off, going out of the gym. Every eye followed him, then turned back to Jack.

"Ten minute break," she said, clearly forcing her voice to remain level. "Then we start again."

Jason looked for Sarah and found her standing a little way from the others, looking sad. She never liked it when there was any kind of conflict. He went up to her and put an arm around her shoulder. She stiffened at his touch, then relaxed and moved closer to him.

"Well I could have seen that coming," said Jason.

"Harry doesn't mean it, you know what he's like," said Sarah. "I'm sure he'll show up for our next class."

"They're too much alike," said Jason. "Harbhajan and Ms Jack, I mean. Both are hot headed and speak exactly what's on their minds. It's harder for two people like that to make up."

"Oh and since when did you become an expert on human relations, hmm?" asked Sarah. "Last I heard you've only ever dated VIs."

"That was below the belt, Rodriguez. I'm gonna trip you up later during reflex practise."

"You can try!"

Truth be told, Jason didn't mind the verbal jab. At least Sarah was smiling again.

"Hey Sarah, want a juice pack?" asked Freeman Zhang, another of their classmates. He was the tallest guy in the group, but much preferred computer sims to playing basketball.

Sarah looked reluctant to pull away from Jason, but she caught the box that Freeman tossed to her. "Give one to Jason too," she said.

"Coming atcha, Prangley," said Freeman, throwing it a little faster this time. Jason reached for it, but it slipped out of his fingers. Thinking quickly, he stopped it from hitting the ground with his biotics.

"Nice," said Freeman appreciatively. "You've got some moves."

"Oh yeah? Watch this," said Jason, on a whim. He levitated the juice box in front of his face, then poked the straw through the foil using only his biotics too. A few of the other kids laughed and clapped as he brought it to his face to take a sip. Suddenly the box crushed itself, and the juice splashed all over Prangley's face. Everyone who saw it laughed, Sarah laughing the hardest of all.

"You're gonna pay for that Sarah!" yelled Jason, pretending to chase after her. Sarah darted away, quick as a cat.

"Come get some!" she yelled playfully.

Jason didn't really mind that he looked a fool in front of everyone, despite it being the number one thing he tried to avoid during his time at Jon Grissom. He'd realised that making Sarah laugh was more important to him than that.

"Play time's over, people," rang out a sharp voice, and Jason recognised the rough-edged tones of Ms Jack. "Four teams, right now, only one remains standing, on the double move!"

**xxxx**

Jack was sitting on her bed, leaning against a wall. Her datapad lay abandoned on her pillow. She'd tried to write a letter to Shepard, then it just became a mess of complaints about the problem she'd run into during class earlier in the day. Jack hated people who whined, and when she realised she was doing the same thing she had gotten pissed off at herself.

It had been a long time coming. The other teachers had mentioned that she was driving the kids too hard, but she'd ignored them. She could feel the simmering tension as her classes had gotten tougher and tougher. But she thought they could handle it.

Singh had been so angry. So defiant. She was still furious at him. Didn't he realise she was trying to tell him something important? Instead he'd just walked away just because he was mad. He'd been infuriating.

He'd acted exactly like she would have, once upon a time.

"Oh, _fuck,_" said Jack out loud. She ran a hand through her new hair, and decided to laugh. It was either that or cry. "Oh for the love of God."

Was this what Shepard had felt like, the first time she had stepped on board his ship? Singh had just talked back to her and she already felt like blowing him out an airlock. She had told Shepard numerous times to go fuck himself, disobeyed his direct orders in battle, took time out of his critical mission just to blow Teltin to hell and gone, and kept pushing him away even after he'd told her he loved her. The fact that she was still walking around alive and in one piece, let alone engaged to him, was a testament to his boundless patience.

"If only you could see me now, big guy," said Jack, absently rubbing her left hand. "Fallen over at the first hurdle."

There was a knock on her door. Jack's head snapped towards it, snakelike fast, her arm raised before she knew it.

"Jackie? It's me, Kahlee. Can we chat for a little while?"

"Oh...yeah. Gimme a minute," said Jack, relaxing. She unhitched the security lock, and the three other locks she had installed without telling anyone before opening the door. Kahlee was wearing something other her Alliance-issue uniform for once. She had on denim shorts and a button-down shirt and looked absurdly youthful.

"Uh, come in."

"Thank you kindly," said Kahlee, stepping inside. She looked around Jack's room curiously. Despite Jack being here for a few weeks now, it was still relatively bare and impersonal. No posters on the wall, no flowers or decorations of any kind. Just a footlocker by her bed, a desk piled high with datapads and other texts, and a metal chair that didn't look too comfortable. Kahlee sat down on it and Jack returned to the bed.

"I heard you ran into some trouble today," said Kahlee, getting straight to the point.

"Yeah," said Jack.

"I talked to Harbhajan earlier. He's sorry for his rudeness. I told him he should be saying that to you, and not to me."

Jack was intrigued. "Really?"

"Yup. But it's proving to be a little difficult..."

"Don't tell me," said Jack. "He doesn't want to."

"Hit the nail on the head," said Kahlee.

"I figured it out, before you came. Boy's a defiant SOB." Kahlee looked faintly disapproving even at the use of this mild epithet, but she didn't say anything so Jack continued. "I realised it because he's a little bit like me. Not a lot, for which you should be eternally grateful. But it's there."

"I figured that out myself," said Kahlee. "The two of you are stubborn as a pair of mules."

"But even though I understand what happened, I'm not sure what to do next," said Jack.

"Well that's why I'm here," said Kahlee. "Do you remember we were talking about teaching?"

"Yeah. You said I'd be good at it because I'm interesting."

"It's a start, but there's a lot more to it than that," said Kahlee. "I can't tell you everything in one easy lesson, but maybe you could try something different. Given the nature of your classes, I think it will help."

"What are you saying?"

"You're teaching a practical class, Jack, not a theoretical one. For the rest of us, we hold our students' attention and respect because of our degrees and years of study. But don't you remember what is was like taking a practical class-"

"Before I came here I never stepped into a school, Kahlee."

"Oh, right. Sorry," said Kahlee, and she sounded like she meant it. "Well when I was at school, I used to resent anyone teaching a practical class when I couldn't understand what he or she ever did to earn the spot. I would think 'how is this goon qualified to teach me?' For all I knew, all his experience was gleaned off a couple of instructional vids. We all think we know everything there is to know when we're kids. As teachers we have to leave them with no doubt that we know what we're talking about."

"So you're saying I should tell them more about myself?"

"If it pertains to the lesson. For instance, the other day you were teaching them how to do a biotic charge, right?"

"Oh yeah, I was."

"Don't you think it'd be more interesting if you'd let them know about the time you and Shepard took down that rogue Spectre using the biotic charge?"

"How do you know about that?"

"Anderson lets me read his reports. If I ask nicely."

Jack thought about it. What Kahlee said did make sense.

"But I'm still not...comfortable...about talking about myself. Especially about Cerberus," said Jack.

"Oh honey, I'm not asking you to say anything that'll make you feel uncomfortable. Just that it'll be easier to make your students understand something the way you understand it"

"I'll think about it," said Jack.

"You know, you could start with something simple. Like, just tell them you're part of Shepard's crew."

"Are you serious?"

"Look Jackie, we're orbiting Elysium. These kids go down there all the time. They listen to the people there talk about Shepard all the time. If he hadn't insisted otherwise, there'd be a fifty foot statue of him in the middle of the city centre right now. They know he's a hero, even with all the nonsense on the news these days. At the very least, they know he can fight."

"I can fight too," said Jack, a little peeved.

"I know. But they haven't seen you in action, I can't very well call up Cerberus and ask them to launch an attack for a demonstration."

Jack had to laugh at that, the idea of Cerberus armies storming the Academy, using all her biotics to keep them back while her students watched and took notes. She and Kahlee talked a little while longer. Yes, she was settling in fine. Yes she would like to get down to planetside for some R & R soon. No, the other staff have been really helpful. Finally Kahlee stood up, and reached out her arms. Jack was surprised, but she allowed to older woman to give her a friendly hug.

"Good night Jackie. Sweet dreams," said Kahlee, waving goodbye.

"Uh, sure. Good night Kahlee," said Jack. She hadn't had a good dream in her whole life. The most that she could hope for was a dreamless sleep, when Shepard was by her side. But that night, the nightmares didn't come for once.

**xxxx**

Jason and Sarah walked into the gym with the rest of the class. Something was different this time. For once, Jack was in there before the rest of the class. Also, the other teacher supervising was wearing a full-length raincoat.

"Come on in, everyone. We're gonna try something new today," said Jack. Jason looked around. With the exception of the missing Harbhajan, and a few of his closest friends, the rest of the class had still showed up. When they assembled in front of Jack, she seemed heartened by the number of students who still wanted to learn from her.

"Alright, we're doing shields again. I know it seems like we do a lot of them, but there's a good reason for it," she said. "If you're in battle, the biggest threat you will ever face is small-arms fire. Heavy duty artillery, you can pretty much see coming and dodge. Hell you can leap out of the way like I showed you the other time. But you need to watch for fire from enemy combatants _all the time. _Last week we practised reaction time and impact. Today we're testing endurance."

Jack pointed upwards.

"This gym has sprinklers and extinguisher gas in case of fire. Now Mr Barlow over there has kindly agreed not to say one word of what we're doing today to the rest of the staff, so please do likewise."

Everyone turned to stare at Mr Barlow in his raincoat. He looked sheepish.

"Ok, everyone ready? Shields UP!"

One by one, the class threw up their shields. Jack motioned for them to sit down and they did so, still maintaining their shields.

"Here we go!" said Jack. She took out a lighter, flicked it on and watched it flare to life. Then she levitated it up towards the nearest heat sensor. It worked, and a deluge of water fell on them. Jack cocooned herself in a shield of her own and sat down next to her students.

"What's the longest time I've made you do a shield? Kim?"

"About ten minutes, ma'am," said Kim Yong Jun. Jason didn't know him, but he was Sarah's lab partner in biology class.

"Ten minutes? I have been letting you kids get off too easy," said Jack. She pointed up to the ceiling again. "The tanks have enough water for one hour. We'll stay here until it empties out. You guys do your best to keep dry. Remember what I said about making your barrier air and sound permeable, but it should enough to keep out water. The one that stays the most dry at the end of this, wins."

Jason stretched out his legs. It was kind of nice sitting down and hearing the water patter down on his shield. Sarah had her arm raised.

"Ms Jack?"

"Yeah Rodriguez?"

"Have you ever done anything like this before?"

Jack looked at her for a long moment. It looked to Jason like she was deliberating with herself whether or not to say more.

"Ah hell, alright...listen up guys. I'm sure you've heard of Commander Shepard?"

"Sure have," said Sarah. The rest of the class said something similar. They looked and sounded considerably more interested at this line of conversation.

"You know he fell off the grid for some time a while back," continued Jack.

"They said he died fighting the geth," pointed out Marianne Depardieu. She was a brilliant writer, and liked to write plays.

"Not exactly," said Jack quietly. "He came back."

"Whoa!"

"Seriously?"

"No way!"

"You can take it or leave it, but it's the truth," said Jack. There was silence for a moment. More water poured down on them.

"How do you know?" asked Sarah at last.

"I was part of his crew," said Jack. "We were on a mission to investigate the colony attacks and disappearances a few years back."

"I remember those," said Freeman quietly. "My uncle and his family were in one of those colonies that got hit. Never knew what happened to them. Alliance wouldn't say anything."

"I know," said Jack. Speaking slowly at first, then faster as she got more absorbed in her memories, she recounted all she had seen and done fighting the Collectors with Commander Shepard. Jason hung on to every word. He had his suspicions, but he had no idea at all about Jack's extensive involvement in a secret black-ops mission. Even Mr Barlow had inched closer to listen better.

Jack told them about the Collector Base. She told them how she was thrown about like a farmhouse in a tornado going through the Omega 4 Relay. Her sense of horror and revulsion when catching her first glimpse of the Collector Base, like some bizarre nightmarish landscape of hell. Fighting their way through the corridors. She mentioned finding out that the Collectors had took all of the colonists on board, and Freeman bowed his head. She didn't say exactly what had happened to them, and Jason had a feeling he'd rather not know all the details.

Then Jack smiled. Clearly one memory hadn't been all that bad.

"Then...then he needed a biotic."

_Shepard tapped his headset. "Joker? Can you get a fix on our position?"_

_"Roger that Commander," replied the Helmsman almost immediately. "All those tubes lead into a main control room just above you. The route is blocked by a security door, but there's another chamber that runs parallel to the one you're in."_

_"I cannot recommend that," cut in EDI. "Thermal emissions suggest that the chamber is overrun with seeker swarms. Dr. Solus's countermeasures cannot protect you against so many at once."_

_"Conventional weapons are going to be useless," Shepard muttered. "They'll tear us apart."_

_"Perhaps not," said Samara. "I might be able to generate a biotic field to keep them at bay. I won't be able to protect all of us, but I could get a small team through if they stay close."_

_"I could do it too," said Miranda. "In theory, any biotic could maintain this field. Shepard, who do you want to pick for the job?"_

_Shepard looked at Jack, and she stared back at him. She made a decision._

_"I want to do this," she said suddenly._

_"You're not strong enough."_

_"Don't you dare tell me what I can or can't do, you fucker. I'm doing this. And I'll kill you if you say no."_

_"I don't care if you kill me, I don't want you to get hurt!"_

_"We all hurt, Jack. But at least I get to choose why this time."_

_Shepard looked pissed. But all he said was "Jack and I will take a small team through the seeker swarms. Now let's move out!"_

"It was the hardest thing I ever had to do," said Jack, while the whole class listened, enthralled. She described the storm of seeker swarms, buzzing furiously around them, their drone drowning out all other noise. They had attacked fiercely, trying their hardest to penetrate her shield again and again, but Jack held it up. She knew that if she lost concentration even for a moment, they would wear her down and spirit her away to be their slave. Shepard, Thane and Legion stuck close to her, knowing that her shield was all that stood between them and death.

_"Trying to...hold on," gasped Jack. "I can see the entrance...we need to get there soon!"_

_"Hang on Jack, please for the love of God hang on, I love you, I love you so much, please hang on, please," pleaded Shepard, running by her side._

_Jack staggered on, arms stretched out in front of her like she was trying to hold back a tidal wave. _

_"Hold on, we're almost there!" yelled Shepard._

_"We need to vacate this area immediately, Shepard-Commander," said Legion._

_"Just a few more steps!" _

_They made it to the doors, and Jack spun on her heel to face the army of Collector drones that were running towards them. With a gargantuan effort she summoned a hammer blow of energy and let it crash outwards, using the field she was maintaining. The shockwave decimated the ranks of the drones._

_"AAARRRGGGHH!" she screamed, letting all her rage loose in one biotic blast._

_The doors slammed shut, and they were safe. Jack stumbled up to Shepard and they fell into each other's arms. She clung to him and brought his lips down to meet hers._

Jack fell silent, and everyone else began talking at once. Jason sat back, feeling like he'd been rocked by a punch. He had no doubt by now that she was telling the truth. The story was too incredible not to be real. He looked at her again. He had initially thought she was just some crazy gangster with some biotic power who had taken this job as a way of lying low for a while. He had been impressed by her classes over the past few weeks, but now he had absolutely no doubt Jack was one of the most powerful biotics in the galaxy. Maybe _the_ most.

Sarah looked like she wanted to ask something else. She shouted above the din. "Ms Jack? Ms Jack? Can I ask ya something?"

"Sure."

"Does this mean you're _with _Commander Shepard?"

There were a few giggles, but mostly silence as everyone waited with bated breath for the answer.

Jack looked annoyed, then her features softened in a wry smile.

"Well I didn't want to say it...but yeah. We're engaged."

There was a rush of delighted chatter at that bit of news. Jason shook his head in wonder. The day seemed like one revelation after another. Sarah caught his eye and winked. The water falling from the ceiling slowed to a trickle, and then stopped. It sure hadn't felt like one hour to him.

"Shields down, everyone," said Jack. Jason dismissed his shield, then checked his hair and clothes. He appeared to be completely dry. Jack was looking around, checking each student.

"Very nice," she said. "Well done, all of you. I can't exactly bring in a seeker swarm in here to try and abduct you...although I guess Mordin could build one for me if I asked. But a waterfall for an hour is a pretty good approximation. Maintain your concentration. You kept it up, even though it was longer than anything you've ever done. Remember that the next time. Keep your shields _up._"

"Yes ma'am!"

The gym door was flung open, and Kahlee Sanders walked in, splashing through the puddles, followed by the rest of the staff.

"Jackie? Jackie, did you do this?"

"Practical demonstration," said Jack. She looked worried. "Is there anything wrong?"

"Most of the station's water supply's running dry! We've got to get everyone down to Elysium while we restock and refuel. Goodness sake Jackie, you could have at least asked me first. And Reed! You're wearing a rain coat. You knew about this?!"

Jason had never seen Ms Sanders mad before. She was frightening to behold. Jack waited until they left. Then she turned to her students with an evil grin on her face.

"Well I supposed that means unscheduled holiday, doesn't it?"

The class cheered.

**Mount Christabel**

**Elysium**

**Vetus System**

**Petra Nebula**

Jason curled up in his sleeping bag. He'd woken up a while ago, but didn't want to get up. Maybe if he shut his eyes, he'd fall back to sleep.

No such luck. Someone hit him, hard, on his arm. Jason's eyes flew open, fully intending to punch out whoever it was who did it. Sarah was sitting near him, her eyes alight with mischief. Seeing him wake up, she drew back her arm to punch again.

"Alright, alright, I'm up already, damnit!"

"Shh, not so loud, you'll wake the others. Come on, let's go!"

"Where are we going?," asked Jason, pulling on his boots, and his jacket.

"Don't you wanna catch the sunrise?"

"Yeah, Jackie said we'd watch it from the picnic area."

"No, the view will be much better from up top."

"The peak? We're not gonna get there in time."

"I found a shortcut. Come _on, _Jason!"

Without waiting, Sarah dashed away. Jason followed, hurrying to keep up. Headmistress Sanders had asked everyone in the Academy to spend a few days in Elysium after their last biotic lesson. When they got there, Jack had suggested a trek up one of Elysium's mid-range mountains as a way to make up for what she'd done to the gym. Kahlee had hesitated until Jack offered to pay for everything herself. She'd insisted, and finally Kahlee relented. They'd all gotten hiking boots, heavy jackets, tents and climbing poles and sleeping bags, and followed the track up Mount Christabel. It had apparently been named after the daughter of one of Elysium's first governors.

It had been a good few days. The air was fresher than anything Jason had ever experienced before. It was nice to walk up the trails and take in the natural beauty of the surrounding mountains, seeing the green forests and lakes far below. Even Harbhajan had come along, with the rest of his friends. Jason never saw it, but from what he gathered, he and Jack had worked out their differences.

Jason's stomach rumbled, reminding him that he hadn't had breakfast yet. But he supposed catching a nice sunrise would make up for it. Sarah was a little way ahead of him. The trail led straight on, but she ducked off the path to the right, clearly expecting Jason to follow.

"Sarah! They said we're not supposed to go off the path!"

"I know!"

"So what are you doing?"

"Just trust me, Jase!"

Jason took a moment to ponder his lot in life, then hurried off after her. Sarah led him through prickly underbrush and under huge, swaying trees before stopping under a rocky outcrop.

"There's the peak. See it?"

"Yes. How are we going to get way up there?"

"Haven't you been paying attention in class?" said Sarah. She suddenly glowed blue, and rose a few feet off the ground. "We fly."

"Sarah, it isn't safe," said Jason. "We haven't done anything like this before!"

"Jase," said Sarah simply, holding out her hand. Jason looked at it, then looked at her. He made up his mind, and floated up to join her. Hand-in-hand, they rose to the top peak together. Jason tried not to look down. Instead he focused on Sarah. Had she always looked this pretty? The early morning light shone through her dark hair, making it glow. She met his gaze, and smiled, but didn't say anything.

They reached the peak, where there was just enough space for the two of them to sit comfortably. Sarah sat down beside him and leaned on his shoulder, and they watched the sun come up. The brilliant rays arced across the sky, setting the horizon aflame.

"Do you really think there's a war coming?" asked Sarah softly, breaking the comfortable silence.

"I don't know," mused Jason. "Jack says there will be."

"The Reapers," said Sarah. "Do you think Jack ever gets scared?"

"No, she's too crazy for human fear."

"Her face darkens and her voice lowers when she mentions the Reapers," said Sarah. "I don't want to meet anything that could scare the psychotic biotic."

"We may not have a choice," said Jason.

"If there's going to be a war, then I'm glad that she's here. Teaching us how to defend ourselves."

"Yeah."

"I don't know if I can fight though."

"I don't know if I can fight too."

"What are you talking about, you've always liked watching old war vids and reading history texts."

"I know. But fighting, real combat? Taking someone else's life? I don't know if I could do that."

"Husks aren't really alive, from what I hear."

"Then maybe it'd be easier," admitted Jason.

"Even if I don't fight, I want to help," said Sarah, after a while. "I can't just run away and do nothing."

"What will you do?"

"I don't know. Whatever I can, I guess. Using everything Jackie teaches us."

"I want to do the same."

"I'm glad," said Sarah. She looked up at Jason, and moved closer to him. His heart began beating a little faster. She put a hand around his neck, and he found that he had the courage to slip an arm around her waist.

"You know," she said, in a sultry voice that Jason had never really heard before. "Even if there's going to be a war, I'm glad for one more thing."

"What's that?"

"That I still have the time to do this." Sarah pulled his head closer to hers, and kissed him full on the lips. It was his first, and Jason tried to get it right. She tasted sweet, and Jason pressed tighter against her, as if his body wanted to record every memory of her's, every last impression and sensation and feeling. His mind was a blank. He felt like the moment would go on forever.

When she pulled away, Sarah looked dazzled. "Wow. That was...nice."

"Nice? I'd say that was amazing," said Jason, for want of something to say.

"One kiss and suddenly you're a stud, Mr Prangley?"

"It's the effect you have on me, Miss Rodriguez."

They both chuckled, feeling the last of their nerves drain away after their lame jokes.

"I was wondering when you'd work up the courage to make a move," said Sarah, after a while. Jason didn't feel like saying he hadn't really been sure of his feelings until a few minutes ago.

"Well I'm glad you did," said Jason. Sarah smiled at him, and snuggled closer. They watched the sun rise together.

**xxxx**

Jack looked around, counting heads. She didn't need to consult to list to figure out who had wandered off.

"Zhang!"

"Yes ma'am?"

"Where are Prangley and Rodriguez?"

"No idea."

"Come on Zhang, you know everything those two are up to. I'm not going to chew them out, I just want to make sure they're alright."

"Well," said Freeman, relenting. "Sarah did say something last night about going up to the peak to catch the sunrise."

"Goddamnit," swore Jack. She cupped her hands around her mouth and raised her voice. "The rest of ya, stay put until I come back. I'm gonna go look for a couple of lost sheep."

Without waiting for an answer, Jack knelt down, and then shot up into the sky, leaving a gust of wind in her wake. Freeman shaded his eyes, and looked up, trying to track her.

"_Mon dieu_, was that Jack?" asked Marianne, also looking up.

"Yeah. She's doing her Superman thing."

Jack rocketed up, feeling the wind rush through her hair. She didn't like to do it much, but it was the quickest way of getting to the peak. Elysium lay spread out before her, she could see the forests, rivers and hills like details on a map at this height. Far off in the distance, the lights of the city centre sparkled like a diamond under a spotlight. She touched down on the peak, but didn't bother taking in the view. Instead she looked around for Sarah and Jason. They were nowhere to be found.

"When I get my hands on those two they're gonna be _meat,_" she muttered to herself. She took off into the sky again.

"PRANGLEY! RODRIGUEZ! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS?!"

"Ms Jackie! Ms Jackie, help!" It was faint, but she definitely heard something. Jack hurtled off in the direction of the sound. After a few minutes, she saw Prangley and Rodriguez. They must have gotten off track while climbing down from the peak. As she got nearer, she saw that Prangley was stuck. His foot was wedged into a crack, and caught underneath a huge boulder. Rodriguez was trying to pull him out, so far with no success.

"What the fuck happened here?"

"Jason fell over when we were going back down," said Rodriguez, almost sobbing. "We can't shift it, even with our biotics."

"Ok, just stay calm. Prangley, are you injured?"

"I don't think so," said Prangley. "Please, get me out."

"I'll do what I can," said Jack. "Stand back, Rodriguez."

Rodriguez took a couple steps back, eyes still locked on Prangley. Jack knelt down, and examined the situation. She saw at once that she would have to roll the boulder out of the way before trying to pry Prangley out of the crack.

"Alright I'm going to try to roll this son of a bitch off your leg."

"We tried to do that," said Prangley.

"Yeah but you didn't have the galaxy's baddest biotic bitch helping you, didja? Okay, on my mark, we all push together. Just like we practised in class. You too, Rodriguez."

"O-okay Ms Jackie."

"Focus, you can do it. I know you can. On my mark...three, two, one...MARK!"

Waves of biotic energy flowed from all three, slamming at the rock with all their might. It shifted, slightly.

"Keep it up, it's moving!"

Rodriguez and Prangley were trying. They really were. But Jack saw they weren't going to do it, not unless she pushed herself. Kahlee had told her not to push herself, unless she needed to do something important. Jack decided that this counted.

"MOVE, YOU BASTARD! MOVE!"

Bit by bit, inch by inch, the boulder began to move. Jack strained harder, teeth gritted, head pounding. But the boulder was moving. With a final hard jolt, it tipped over just enough to begin rolling away on its own. It rolled over the edge of the cliff and landed with an almighty crash in the forest below.

"Thanks," grunted Prangley.

"It ain't over yet. Now try to stay as still as you possibly can, okay? Can you do that Prangley?"

"Sure."

Jack looked at his leg. It was stuck in a crack on the path, a really deep one. The only way to get it out again with injuring him was to make the crack wider.

"Pay attention. This is what Kahlee likes to call 'a teaching moment.' You might learn something."

As Prangley and Rodriguez watched, Jack charged up her fists, and only her fists, with biotic energy. Gripping hold of the edge of the crack, she pulled back as hard as she could. There was a slight tremor.

"It's getting looser," said Prangley. Rodriguez had her hands over her mouth.

"Just...a little bit...more," hissed Jack through gritted teeth. Sweat was pouring down her face.

"Now!" Prangley reached out his hand, and Rodriguez caught it. She yanked hard with all of her might, and he came flying out like a cork out of a bottle. Jack sat back, needing a moment to catch her breath.

"Thank you Ms Jackie."

"Yeah, you were awesome."

"If you two dumbas – if you two hadn't wandered away we wouldn't be here," said Jack. Rodriguez and Prangley looked suitably chastened.

"Sorry."

"Sorry."

"Alright, we'll say no more about it," said Jack curtly. "Can you walk, Prangley?"

Prangley stood up, then stumbled. Rodriguez caught him before he could fall.

"I'm sorry Ms Jackie, I don't think I can."

Jack's lips flattened into a thin line. She was going to use even more of her biotic powers than she'd planned to during the whole trip. But there was no other way.

"Rodriguez! I'm gonna carry your pal to the picnic site. Think you can keep up with me?"

"I don't know," she said. "I've never tried to fly that far before."

Jack considered. "Ok, two of you, levitate right now. Not too high."

Rodriguez and Prangley exchanged a look, but they did as she said. Jack floated up, taking a position between them.

"Keep yourself weightless, just like I taught you. Nice and easy, I know you can do that. I'll do the heavy lifting. Take my hand, both of you."

They did, and Jack rose up a little bit higher, pulling Prangley and Rodriguez with her. She pulled them along like a flying tow truck. Eventually they got back to where the others were.

"Zhang, Hussein, break out the medigel. Prangley needs some help."

Jack watched them lie Prangley on the ground and apply medigel to his leg. He looked like he was going to be alright. Rodriguez came up to her and took both her hands.

"Ms Jackie? Thank you so much. It could have all gone terribly wrong."

"Tell me the next time you want to pull off another jackass stunt like that, Rodriguez."

"I'm sorry. I just...oh hell, I just wanted to do something nice for Jason."

Despite herself, Jack smiled. Was it the kind of ridiculous stunt she would have pulled off just for Shepard? Definitely. She had done a hell of a lot of worse things.

"Don't worry about it," said Jack. "Come on. Let's go get something to eat."

**Teltin Facility**

**Pragia**

**Then**

Subject Zero was sitting on her bed, back to the wall, hugging her knees to her chest, staring at nothing.

Yesterday they scheduled for her another round of torture. This involved hooking her up to a multitude of electrodes and passing a current through her body in ever increasing degrees. Using a technique taught to her through repeated simulations, Jack used her biotics to cut off the neural pathways in her brain to shut off the sensation of pain. It worked...for a while. But she could only take so much before her brain overloaded and she blacked out.

She tried to think of a time before the endless pain, the never-ending torment and fear. She couldn't. This was all she'd ever known. Maybe she deserved it, who knew? Maybe she deserved to be treated like an animal for the rest of her life for some crime she couldn't remember committing.

The other children hated her, and now she knew why. She had killed more and more of them in the arena, sometimes three at once. No matter how strong they were, Zero always won. The more she killed, the more she liked it. She felt a certain kind of euphoria in her mind that had completely eluded her during her life in the cold and the dark.

But that wasn't the only reason. During her repeated operations, the faceless men had let slip that they had previously tested all procedures on other test subjects. None of them had survived.

When Zero fought in the arena, the hatred from the other subjects forced to watch was real. It was because of her that they had been brought to this place, because of her that they died like lab rats. There was more blood on her hands than that which she spilled herself. But the more Zero fought, the more she didn't care. The more drugs burned in her veins, the more she enjoyed snapping necks and tearing flesh in the arena.

After each inevitable crash, she hated herself so much she wished she could die. But it was useless. Constant surveillance prevented her from killing or even harming herself.

Sometimes she felt like she deserved the pain she suffered during the torture, as some kind of sick, twisted justice.

Lost in her thoughts, Subject Zero heard what sounded like a series of explosions from deep within the facility. Then a few massive crashes and more explosions. And finally, the screaming. Alarms begin to sound, emergency warnings she had never heard before.

Zero got up from her bed, and pressed her face to the window. She could see smoke, and a lot of men in uniforms and masks running about. There was a crash as her door was flung open and a faceless man rushed into her room.

"Zero, get up. We're leaving. Now."

He grabbed at her arm, and pulled her roughly along. Zero didn't like it. She struggled, and he struck her heavily across the face. She fell to the ground, blood leaking from her mouth.

"Waste any more time and you'll get another one."

Subject Zero didn't like that. Not at all. She got to her feet, and when the faceless man came for her again, she unleashed all her biotic power at him in one massive blast. Zero remembered when she had tried it earlier and didn't work. But the repeated implants and training had ratcheted up her powers to unimaginable levels.

The faceless man was slammed against a wall so hard she heard his ribs crack. He slumped to the floor, dead from the impact.

She had done it.

She was free.

Zero walked out, looking all around her. She had never been outside of her room unguarded before. She didn't know where to go. Moving fast, she moved deeper within the facility, searching for an exit. Anywhere would be better than this.

"There she is! Get to her!"

A group of other biotic subjects saw her come into the hall. They were wearing their drab suits and didn't appear to be armed. But they rushed over in her direction. Zero was caught off-guard. They looked hostile, as if they wanted to attack her.

Years later, an Alliance marine who would become her friend had ventured a guess that the other subjects weren't intending to harm her. Having broken free of the faceless man, they thought they would have a better chance of safety if they were near Zero. He might have been right. Or not. Years later the uncertainty would keep Zero awake into the long hours of the night. But for now, instinct and training took over.

She moved like a blur, biotics enhancing her speed and reflexes and impact. Subjects dropped to the floor, dead, before they knew what was happening to them. Before they could fight back, they all died. Zero stood in the middle of the hall, dripping with blood and sweat. She felt...good. She wanted more.

Zero moved through Teltin facility like a ghost, killing everyone she saw. Eventually she managed to steal a shuttle, and leave Pragia behind, seemingly forever.

From there, she was picked up by a passing pirate frigate who agreed to drop her off at the next station they docked at. In 'return', every member of the crew raped her, not stopping as they each took their turn. They hadn't seen another woman in months, and even this half-starved, traumatised, stinking feral girl would do. Zero was too exhausted and drained to fight back. She lay there, sobbing, wishing over and over that she could die.

She had not yet turned fourteen.

**xxxx**

Subject Zero was no more.

She needed a new name, one that would not link her to the Cerberus facility. She had discovered their true name, and swore that she would kill every single member who had the misfortune to meet her for the rest of her life.

'Jack' had been the name of the captain of the pirate ship that picked her up from Pragia. After a few years, she managed to track him down, and in one glorious night, massacre everyone on board. Jack she saved for last, killing him by setting him on fire. She then set course for the ship to fly into the nearest sun and escaped in a shuttle. As a final measure of revenge, she took his name as well as his ship, his money, his crew, and his life. It also served as a reminder for her never, ever to let her guard down.

To hide the scars that marred her body after all the operations and torture, Jack got a few tattoos. Initially, just to cover up her scars and give people something else to look at. Later she found that she liked body art, and got a tattoo to mark kills, milestones in her life, or simply because she was bored. She began spending more and more time on Omega, and got the massive symbol on her back to show that she symbolically owned the place, no matter what that bitch Aria T'Loak might think.

She had an interesting few years after her escape from Pragia. She broke every law that had been written and caused a few more to be made in specific response to her actions. She racked up a four digit body count. She stole fortunes and lost them again and didn't care one bit. There was a couple whom she thought she loved, but they ended up using her like everyone else.

There was one boy who seemed to genuinely loved her, but he gave up his life for her, burdening her with a debt that could not be repaid.

Jack drifted around the galaxy, always searching for the next high. Her time in Teltin had left her physically addicted to the rush she got from battle, and although she recognised and hated it, she could not control it. She ended up on the most-wanted lists of several planets, and even attracted the attention of the Spectres. Finally after a chase that had gone horribly wrong, she was captured and hauled off to the Purgatory incarceration facility. After she had killed four other inmates who had tried to rape her, she was placed in cryo-stasis in solitary lockdown.

Her nightmares returned, and unlike last time, she couldn't wake up.

Until one day the lockdown was interrupted, and she was set free. There were three YMIR mechs in front of her. She ripped through them without a second thought. Men in uniforms and masks and guns surrounded her, trying to take her down. It was Teltin all over again. But this time she was more powerful and more experienced than ever. As they died one by one, Jack found that she was laughing with the sheer joy of slaughter.

She reached the docking bay, and saw two things that would change her life. The first, a sleek, powerful-looking stealth frigate, with the familiar markings and logo of Cerberus.

The second, a tall marine with a shaven head and piercing blue eyes, who would show her a different path.

**Jon Grissom Academy**

**In orbit above Elysium**

**Now**

She had known this day would come.

From the scattered news broadcasts they managed to pick up, they heard their worst nightmares come true. The Reapers had arrived. They were hitting Earth with everything they had. The mighty Alliance Fleets had failed to stop them. Millions had died, millions more were being taken away for unimaginable reasons. The homeworld was burning.

Jack had tried to get a message to Shepard, but there was no response. The main communication networks were down. She believed that it was the reason why he hadn't responded. She refused to believe that he was already dead.

The non-biotic students and younger children were sent away from Jon Grissom to take refuge on other planets, as well as most of the staff. But almost every student who had trained under her remained behind to cover their escape, along with Kahlee Sanders. Jack was on a knife's edge, most of the time. She sensed that sooner or later, the Academy would be attacked. And she was right, but not by the Reapers like she'd imagined. Instead it was Cerberus.

Jack was surprised that Cerberus would still keep up their operations in the middle of the biggest war humanity had ever fought. But then she realised that was exactly the kind of thing that the Illusive Man would do. Working together with her students, they beat back wave after wave of Cerberus shock troopers. Jack thought they would have a chance, until Cerberus starting bringing in ATLAS mechs.

Taking cover in the school's main hall, every instinct in Jack's body screaming for her to wreck everything around her was overridden by her new discipline to safeguard her students. Their biotic shields, drilled to perfection after so many training exercise during her classes, worked impressively well under fire.

Jack was trying to fend off the biggest ATLAS mech she had seen yet when the door opened and in walked the one person in the galaxy she loved above all others, her fianc_é_ and the man she'd thought she'd never see again.

"JACKIE!" he yelled, beginning to run towards her.

"_Shepard?_"


	36. Civil Disobedience

**Chapter 36 – Civil Disobedience**

"_I care so deeply about this matter that I'm willing to take on the legal penalties, to sit in this prison cell, to sacrifice my freedom, in order to show you how deeply I care. Because when you see the depth of my concern, and how 'civil' I am in going about this, you're bound to change your mind about me, to abandon your rigid, unjust position, and to let me help you see the truth of my cause._" - Mahatma Gandhi, freedom fighter and the Father of India.

"S_o I have tried to make it clear that it is wrong to use immoral means to attain moral ends. But now I must affirm that it is just as wrong, or even more so, to use moral means to preserve immoral ends._" - Dr Martin Luther King Jr, civil rights activist, Letter from a Birmingham Jail_._

"_I was not a messiah, but an ordinary man who became a leader through extraordinary circumstances." _- Nelson Mandela, civil rights activist and President of South Africa.

**x**

**Alliance Vancouver Base**

**Vancouver, Canada**

**UNAS**

**Earth**

**x**

One of the things I liked about being back on Earth was the opportunity to read paper books once again.

I remembered them from my childhood. Mum and Dad had a library they'd been given by their own parents. Although we moved around a lot, we'd always take our books with us. I'd go through them on rainy days and when I didn't have a friend to kick around a ball with, which happened more often than I liked. The omni-tool was faster, although unwieldy to use. Datapads were everywhere, but somehow the feel and smell of old paper was much nicer.

After I'd been thrown in jail, one of my first requests was for paper books on political icons who had been locked up themselves. The Alliance brass had duly obliged. Asking for books wasn't illegal. Yet. I sat in my room, peacefully reading about the exploits of civil rights leaders and non-violent politicians while the biggest media firestorm Earth had ever seen raged outside my front door.

According to Admiral Hackett, he had been flooded with requests for interviews and statements about the Bahak Relay incident even before I'd reached Earth. My trip was to be under maximum security. No one could ever remember a single prisoner having to be escorted by a dreadnought before. I wasn't even allowed to speak to my mother, who had been given temporary command of Fifth Fleet while Hackett was away.

I was denied permission to read the news reports, but from what I gleaned from friendly crewmen, it wasn't good at all. The batarians were screaming for my head. The Council was making noise about a full-scale investigation. Even Prime Minister Shastri didn't defend me in the only statement he made to the press, instead choosing to reinforce that this was strictly Alliance business and that I would be tried and if necessary punished under Alliance law.

Nobody was talking about the Reapers.

I wish Hackett had given me a chance to speak publicly. The galaxy had to be told about the Reapers. But he said he couldn't do that, and I thought I knew why. Causing a mass panic was something the Alliance was keen on not letting happen. Ever.

I'd instructed Joker to help Miranda get away, along with the rest of the Cerberus personnel who didn't feel like letting the Alliance go over their past history with a fine-toothed comb. He'd complied, and EDI had faked a malfunction that gave Miranda enough time to lead everyone out. Jack too. I was glad to hear that she'd bailed as well. I was willing to vouch for her if needed, but I wasn't sure if my word carried as much weight as it once was. I just hoped she would take my advice and seek help at the Jon Grissom Academy school for biotics. Jack treated my orders like suggestions at the best of times, and this was one instance where I'd really hope she'd listen to me.

Upon touching down on Earth at Colombo, Sri Lanka, I was immediately hustled to the most secure brig they had at the base. Although the Alliance had hoped to forestall some of the media attention by incarcerating me in a relatively quieter place (although no place on Earth could be said to be truly quiet these days), it was a lost cause. The city became jammed with journalists and reporters of every stripe. Eventually they'd given up and moved me instead to a larger base they had in Vancouver, in the UNAS. The offices of the Admiralty Board (Earth liaison) were also located there, and in all likelihood it would be the place where my court martial would be held.

Someone informed me I was the sole prisoner in the Vancouver brig. Maybe that was supposed to make me feel special. It just made me feel frustrated. So much effort expended in shutting me up when they could have used the precious days and weeks and months preparing for the Reapers.

I was allowed a comparative amount of freedom, and a nice little room with an open window that looked out onto the city. Living on ships so long, it was weird at first, but I'd begun to enjoy the sunlight waking me up every morning. I ate most of my meals alone, although occasionally I was allowed visitors. Mostly it was Admiral Anderson. I hadn't seen him since before my mission to eliminate the Collectors, and it was nice to catch up. I'd learned he'd resigned as Councillor, promoted to full admiral and been assigned to the First, and he was shuttling back and forth between Arcturus Station and Earth. It gave him a good excuse to check up on me.

Through Anderson, I managed to learn most of the news that the Alliance in their infinite wisdom were denying me. Apparently not all was going as planned. Despite the best efforts of both the Alliance and the Citadel Council to deny all knowledge about the Reapers, there was a small but significant percentage of the galactic community who believed I was right. Although they worryingly and frequently overlapped with the most insane of conspiracy theorist groups, at this point I was happy to take what I could get.

"Most of the rank and file are on your side," confided Anderson one day, over salad and soup and sandwiches. "They haven't forgotten Elysium. They haven't forgotten Saren."

"Nice to hear they remember," I said, in between chomps on my hoagie. Another perk about living planetside, real food at last. Much less vat-grown meat and MREs.

"But working with Cerberus really hurt your credibility among the rest of them. Remember, they've been fighting and dying at the hands of Cerberus for a long while now. Everyone knows someone who's been affected by Cerberus," said Anderson.

"Goddamnit. Yeah, I can't blame 'em. I hope you're at least telling them that I was working under duress. And that I got out as soon as I could."

"I'm trying, Jack. These things take time."

"That's not something we have a lot of," I said gloomily.

Reading the words of men like Gandhi and King helped me to gain a little perspective on my situation. They too had fought in their own way for the truth, and suffered for it. I was not the first, and I certainly would not be the last. Eventually I would be proven right. It was just a matter of how many lives would be lost as long as my words went ignored.

But that was something I couldn't change. It was stupid and asinine and tragic. But it was beyond my power to change, and I had to learn to accept that.

Between my quiet reading time, I did what I could do and filed extensive mission reports, filled with all the intel on Cerberus and the Reapers that I could remember. I was made to sit through several interviews that were a few degrees short of being interrogations. Although the questioning officer seemed more interested in discussing Cerberus capabilities, I always firmly stressed on the greater threat of the Reapers. They didn't like it, but I was past caring. It was too late in the game to sweat the small stuff.

The Alliance had assigned one Marine to be my personal bodyguard during my time in Vancouver. Although he was nominally there to make sure I didn't escape, I couldn't help but wonder if he was supposed to report back to the Alliance everything I said as well. But First Lieutenant James Vega didn't seem like the type. He was easy going and affable, and full of questions about my service record, most of which I was happy to answer.

Built like a two-ton slab of beef and with muscles even more impressive than Jacob's, James resembled a walking mountain with a fauxhawk on top. But under his bluster and charm I sensed there was something deeper going on. Apparently he had been assigned to this detail by none other than Anderson, and I could tell when someone was hiding something.

Once upon a time, I would have wondered about that secret, and tried to pry it out of him. I even had the perfect means to do it. Liara was the new Shadow Broker now and she could no doubt learn any secret in the galaxy, given time (and if I could get a message to her in the first place). But now I found it didn't bother me too much. If Vega wanted to be honest with me sometime down the line, that was fine. If he didn't, that was ok too. I had bigger things to worry about. In addition to the Reapers, my impending trial for instance.

Vega and I were walking back to my room after a workout session in the gym when the subject came up.

"So Commander, who are you gonna get for your lawyer? If you're short on ideas, I know a guy."

Vega insisted on referring to me by my old rank. I let it slide, and chuckled at his suggestion. Vega always claimed to know a guy capable of handling virtually any situation or problem. And if he didn't, he claimed to know another guy who could find the guy who could.

"No need for that Vega, I've already sent for my own lawyer."

"He needs to be a damn good one," said Vega. "Alliance brass are coming down on you like a ton of bricks."

"He's said by many to be the finest legal mind in human history. Ever heard of Bob Massingbird?"

"Strangely enough, I actually have. A really slick SOB."

Massingbird was a solicitor in high demand, retained by the wealthiest and the most powerful when they found themselves in hot water. My eyes misted over as I recalled his most triumphant successes.

"I remember Massingbird's most famous case, the Case of the Bloody Knife. A man was found next to a murdered body, he had the knife in his hand, thirteen witnesses had seen him stab the victim, and when the police arrived, he said 'I'm glad I killed the bastard.' Massingbird not only got him off, he got him knighted in the New Year's Honours List, and the relatives of the victim had to pay to have the blood washed out of his jacket."

"Lawyers," said Vega, making the word a curse.

"Hey if the Alliance are going to play games, I'm not going to make it easy for them," I said.

It was several days later before I received word from Bob Massingbird.

"Letter for you, Commander," said Vega, knocking on my door.

I got up from my bed and took the datapad he offered me. The news wasn't good.

_Dear sir,_

_I regret to inform you that I am unable to take your case. I wish you the best of luck._

_Regards,_

_Robert Massingbird, Esq._

"Bad news?" asked Vega, seeing my reaction.

"I've read suicide notes that were longer," I muttered.

"Didn't think he could handle the heat, huh."

"The bastard's defended dictators in the International Court of Justice! And he even managed to win some of those cases. If he's not going to even touch my case, I'm dead meat."

"Well I still know a guy," began Vega.

"Never mind, Vega. I'm not going to ruin anyone's career by letting them handle my case. I'll just wait and see which rookie public defender they'll assign to me."

**xxxx**

Vega led me through the hallways to the briefing room where I would meet the lawyer that had been scrounged up for me by the Office of the Public Defender. No doubt some wet-behind-the-ears kid, fresh out of law school with a C average, greener than paint. Why waste money on a dead man?

The other marines and Navy personnel in the base always did a double take when I passed by them. Some would automatically try to salute, then stop themselves, remembering that I was no longer part of the Alliance any more. Inevitably wherever I went, there would be whispers behind my back. To distract myself, I spoke to Vega.

"Have you met this kid?"

"Uh...yeah."

"What? What did you think?"

"I think you'd better see for yourself, sir," said Vega, stone-faced. I gave him a sharp look, but he clearly wasn't interested in revealing more. Sighing, I pushed open the door of the briefing room and prepared to accept whatever fate had in store for me.

"Hopeful greeting: Hello, Mr Shepard. I am pleased to meet you."

I stared. An elcor was waiting in the room for me. As far as I could tell, he was young. Like all elcor he towered over me, and spoke in a monotone so dull even beta versions of VIs sounded more lively. Behind me, James Vega closed the door and sat down.

"Er...hello. Pleased to meet you too."

I held out a hand, then realised elcor didn't shake hands and settled for a small wave. As I lowered my hand, I thought I could hear Vega trying not to laugh.

"Friendly introduction: My name is Barsoom. I am the paralegal assigned to your case."

"Wait, paralegal? You're not even a full lawyer?"

"Defensively: No, not yet. But I will do my best to defend you in this case."

I sat down, trying to marshal my thoughts and say something without offending apparently the only person willing to defend me in court.

"Not to sound speciesist or anything, but I thought the Alliance would assign one of their own guys to the case."

"Clarification: The Alliance did ask my associate and superior, Richard Harriman to represent you in court, but he is away on urgent business in the colonies and will not be back in time. He delegated the task to me instead."

"I see," I replied shortly, while making a mental note to look for Richard Harriman, attorney-at-law and kill him.

"So counsel, what do you think my chances are?"

"Brutally honest: Not all that good, I'm afraid. You're as guilty as a puppy sitting next to a pile of poo."

"Oh, charming," I said. Vega couldn't help himself, he burst out laughing. "Let's get it over with then. What are the charges against me and when is the trial?"

"Clarification: You are charged with one count of desertion from the Alliance Marine Corps, and one charge of terrorism pertaining to your actions in the Bahak Relay system. More charges to be added later if necessary. Your trial is scheduled to be held in approximately four months."

"How could I have deserted the Alliance if I _died _in the line of duty_?_"

The elcor blinked. "Confusedly: Is this an attempt at humour? You are clearly alive, Mr Shepard."

"Well yes, I mean I am _now, _but I died after that geth mission and Cerberus used experimental technology called the Lazarus Project to restore me to life, including all my memories..." I trailed off as I realised how ridiculous that sounded when recounting it to people who weren't there. Also both Vega and the elcor were giving me odd looks.

"It's true!"

"I'm sure it is, sir," said Vega diplomatically.

"Anyway they gave me a dishonourable discharge without even having a trial," I added lamely.

"Musing: We could use that as a mitigating factor in the trial, but I do not think it would be of much help."

"Ok forget the desertion. What about the Bahak Relay incident? I had a really good reason for that one."

"Uncertainly: I have read your report, Mr Shepard, and I am afraid it would not be received too kindly in court."

"Why on Earth not?"

"Clarification: You have not submitted any physical evidence of the imminent arrival of the Reapers."

"I couldn't have, the entire system blew up!"

"Soothingly: Of course, of course."

"Anyway, what about the data logs I recovered, the ones made by Dr Amanda Kenson? She was crazy, you could hear it in every word she said."

"Pointing out the obvious: If she was indeed crazy, Mr Shepard, then admitting those logs into evidence might be prejudicial to your case."

I gave up. There was a good reason why I'd never made it to law school and became a soldier instead. We went over the case files again and came up with nothing new. I was beginning to wonder why the Alliance were even bothering with a trial. This would be the biggest farce since Donovan Hock got off on a charge of grand larceny.

"Frustrated query: Why don't I start by reciting my prepared opening statement?"

"Fine, you know what, go on ahead."

"Untruthful opening statement: Your honour, over the course of this trial, I intend to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that my client is completely innocent of all the charges against him."

"Barsoom, what the hell?"

"Confused query: Pardon me?"

"You said 'untruthful statement' right in your statement!"

"Confused query: I don't understand you."

"Nevermind, try again."

"Untruthful opening statement: Your honour -"

"There, you said it again!"

"Perplexed reaction: I do not understand you, Mr Shepard."

"I know elcor need to state their meaning before every word they say, but do you have to be quite so honest? You're a lawyer, for crying out loud."

"With offense: It seems you do not fully understand subtle elcor communication techniques, Mr Shepard."

I sighed, and stood up. "Mr Barsoom, thank you for your time. We will meet and discuss my trial again another day."

"Insincere farewell: I look forward to it, Mr Shepard."

Vega and I walked out of the briefing room and back to the brig. I was swearing under my breath, he was still trying not to laugh.

"Looks like you have some problems, huh sir."

"This is a goddamn circus."

"Well I've got better news for you. Admiral Anderson dropped by, he wants to see you later after dinner."

"What, he's not having dinner with me?"

"Nah he's having dinner with the Deputy Director of the AIA."

"Life's a breeze when you make flag rank alright."

"Yeah. It's why I never want to get that high."

"Not at all?"

"When you get past Major, you're out of the front lines. You don't get to make a difference."

"The Marines need their commanders as well as foot soldiers Vega, you know that."

"Might be right for some guys," he said, shrugging. "But I signed up to fight. See you later, sir."

He closed the door of my room and I heard his footsteps retreat down the corridor. Sighing, I walked over to the window and looked out at the evening Vancouver skyline. The sun was setting, and the first lights were already beginning to shine in all the buildings. A few blocks away from the base, there was a little garden which was popular with a few families living in the nearby apartments. After a few weeks I was able to recognise a few of them. There was the couple with the baby girl. An old man and his grandson. A gay couple with two teenage boys. And another couple with two teenage girls. The last two families seemed to know each other, they would hang out at the same time.

But there was another frequent visitor that caught my attention. It was a little kid, with brown hair, who liked to wear an oversized hoodie jacket and big sneakers. He always came alone, and left alone. I never saw an adult with him. He'd come to the park, play with his scale model toy of an Alliance cruiser, and just run around for hours at a time. I thought he might be a homeless kid or something, but he seemed reasonably clean and well-fed. Afterwards I'd just watch him play. Longer ago than I'd care to remember, that kid was me. Playing with a toy ship, dreaming of being among the stars.

The stars. They were my home. I was born in space, grew up in space. I lived and worked and fought for my life amongst the stars. I never really felt right staying planetside for an extended amount of time, even with all the perks. Up there was where I belonged.

But the stars were also where my greatest enemies lay, waiting and watching. The Reapers had taken the good feeling that I'd gotten every time I looked up into the night sky and turned it into an uneasy wariness. They would attack from above, and I had no way or knowing where or when.

My mood soured, I lay down lengthwise on my bed and thought about Jack. When I made the decision to turn myself in I knew I would miss her, but I just didn't know how much. It was more than just the sex, or someone to cuddle in bed with at night, although both were good. I missed the absolute certainty of knowing that I had someone who would back me up 100%. No matter the odds, no matter the risks, if I thought it was important enough to do it, Jack had my back. She was my rock, the one person in the galaxy I could rely on without needing to think about it. I had amazing friends, wonderful allies, but Jack's fierce loyalty was on another level. Only my mother would give me that kind of unconditional support. Being in such a hostile location, surrounded with unfriendly people, I missed her more than ever.

I watched the kid run off, then went back to my bed. I lay there and thought of Jack until a knock on my door made me look up.

"Shepard? It's me, Anderson."

I went outside and shook his hand. He looked resplendent in his dress blues, and smelled faintly of brandy. The good kind. "Hello Admiral. Nice dinner?"

"Tolerable. The Deputy Director's an old friend of mine. It wasn't just a social call, you know."

"Oh?"

Anderson's voice lowered a notch. "He's come over to our side on the matter of the Reapers. He's said he'll do what he can to streamline logistics and scout for advance warning reports."

I was pleasantly surprised to hear that Anderson had not been idle, during my time in the brig. I was heartened to know that at least someone had been doing something.

"Feel like having a drink?"

"Sure, why not."

We walked down the corridor to a nearby lounge. At this time of the night, the base was emptier than usual.

"Vega not here to make sure I don't knock you over and escape?"

"I gave him the night off myself. There's a few things we need to talk about."

My interest was definitely piqued. Anderson hadn't come all this way for just a social call. We reached the lounge and took a table far from the counter. Only a handful of other people were around. Anderson ordered another brandy, I went for a glass of scotch. When the waiter left he began to speak once more.

"First things first, Shepard. While you've been here, I've been working with Admiral Hackett and a few other contacts of mine to get ready for the Reapers. There's not a lot of us, but we have friends in high places."

"No kidding," I said. "Hackett himself is already the Admiral of the Fleet."

"Not only him," said Anderson. "We've got some support from the politicos as well. The Secretary of the Colonies, Takahashi Ujio, has already begun to put into place protocols for evac routes to and from Earth. The Deputy Director of Alliance Intelligence, the guy's a former Marine. He thinks you're full of shit, but he also thinks we can't afford to dither on the off chance you might be right."

"Gee, thanks," I muttered.

"Anyway Jamal's been providing me with a lot of intel. All strictly off the record, of course."

"What about the Citadel? Udina see reason yet?"

"The man will deny the Reapers exist even if one came up and chewed his head off. He's too goddamn happy to be part of that Council. But his replacement as Ambassador, Inara Serra is firmly on our side."

"Sounds like we haven't been totally wasting our time."

"You can say that again," said Anderson. Our drinks arrived and we clinked our glasses with a simple toast of _salud, _or good health. Anderson drank deep and set his glass down.

"So...what do I do?"

"You stay put," said Anderson. "The most important thing now is for you to not give the rest of the Alliance brass any reason to investigate me, or anyone else I just mentioned. Don't make any waves."

"What about the trial? The lawyer they gave me is a complete fucking joke."

"Little I can do about that," said Anderson, grinning as I recounted my encounter with Mr Barsoom, the elcor paralegal. "But let me tell you something else, Jack. You don't have to give shit one about the trial."

"Don't fuck me about, sir, I've had a long day..."

"No, I'm serious. Listen to me. Hackett's on your side. I'm on your side. The trial is for the batarians. Even if you do get a guilty conviction, the minute the Reapers invade you'll be back in uniform with a full pardon under your belt. Reinstated and with your rank restored, no questions asked."

"Oh," I said, surprised. I never thought about it like that.

"So don't worry about it, Jack. Stay on your toes. Don't worry that we're not doing anything to prepare for those squid bastards. We're doing everything we can. You're our best asset, the biggest gun we have against them. When the time comes, you'd better be ready to go at a moment's notice."

"You know me, sir," I said, finishing the last of my drink. "Just let me at 'em."

"That's the spirit," said Anderson appreciatively. "I'm going back to Arcturus for now, and I won't be back on Earth until your trial's scheduled to begin."

"Shame," I said, and I meant it. "I'll miss our lunches."

"So will I," said Anderson. "But before I leave, I've got something for you."

Anderson reached over and uploaded something to my omni-tool.

"Your fiancee has asked me to pass these along to you. I don't know if you can write back, they'll intercept and censor anything you send to me as long as I'm on Arcturus. But I thought you should get these letters, at least."

I shook Anderson's hand. I touched by his willingness to help, the pick-me-up from reading something written by Jack would be just what I needed to get through my time here.

"Thank you, sir. I appreciate it."

"You're welcome, marine. Stay frosty."

"Aye aye, sir."

Anderson returned my salute, and walked out of the lounge, headed for Arcturus Station. I wondered if the next time we would meet, humanity would already be at war. But in the meantime, I had Jack's letters.

**xxxx**

_Hey Jack,_

_It seems so fucking retarded to have to talk to you this way, but if this is the only way to do it, then I guess I'll take what I can get._

_Guess what? I actually took what you said to heart for once. The Old Man put in a good word for me with Kahlee Sanders, the principal of Jon Grissom Academy. Except they don't call her a principal, it's 'headmistress'. Still, she seems alright. Kinda reminds me of your mom, in a way._

_The school itself is nice. The food's nice. The rooms and classroom and everything are pretty high-end. Your tax dollars at work. I haven't been this comfortable since I started sleeping in the penthouse you call a captain's cabin on the Normandy. It's an okay place to be, but you know me. After sleeping in shitholes a vorcha wouldn't, I don't care too much for luxury._

_The kids...what can I say? They're kids. Loud, irritating, don't know when to shut up. I've just started teaching. The first time, we just made some dodgeballs float. Nothing too complicated. They're all spread out when it comes to power levels, some are really strong, the rest not so good. But at least they listen to what I say and do what I do. If they keep it up, they might just survive the fucking Reapers._

_You know Jack, before I met you I could have sworn that I would never, ever do half the things I've done since then. I've met Cerberus bitches and not killed them. I've fought the urge to kill you in your sleep and steal your ship for myself (you know I could totally do it). Now I'm a damn teacher. The last job I had before this one was blowing up Collectors when you told me to, the last one before that was to kill this turian on behalf of this krogan because his asari pal died. Not exactly what you'd call a predictable series of events._

_Hell, I just want to say thanks, you big dumb marine. You've shown me things I never thought I'd see. Helped me to do things I'd never thought I'd do. Without you I'd still be killing people for fun, and I know now I would have eventually died in some forgotten corner of the galaxy. Once upon a time that would have been ok, but now I kinda don't want it to happen. I've got you now. I want to see where we're going, where our crazy, fucked-up lives will take us._

_I miss you, big guy._

_I keep thinking about what'd you say, or what you'd do. Especially when training these kids. I've never been through boot camp. You'd have them doing push ups and running four minute miles within the first hour. I wish you were here so I could talk to you about this stuff. You'd know what to do. But you're not, so I gotta figure it out on my own. Hope I don't fuck up too badly._

_I know you'd want to hear about my medical condition, all that's happen is that they've taken some scans and run some tests. Kahlee's been really helpful, she said she'd help however she can. I actually think she's telling the truth. It's people like her that make me think the galaxy isn't completely made up of assholes after all, and strangely enough I keep running into people like her ever since I got together with you. Makes me think._

_Anyway I'm doing fine, my head hasn't hurt or anything and I'm taking it slow during classes. I'll tell you if something comes up._

_Ok, gotta run. Take care of yourself Jack, I know you're in jail right now so cover your ass. I mean that literally. I don't want to come get you and find out you're already married to some big mean skinhead named Bubba. I might have to find myself another fiance._

_I love you Jack. I'm waiting for you._

_Always yours,_

_Jackie._

I read the first letter slowly, savouring every word. It made me feel much better to know that she was safe, and that she was getting the help she needed. I was also encouraged to hear that she was trying her hand at teaching.

"I love you too. Wait for me," I said softly to myself.

I thought about rationing the letters, slowly reading one a day. Then I knew there was no way I would be able to resist, and read the rest.

**x**

**Office of the Admiral of the Fleet**

**Arcturus Station**

**Themis**

**Arcturus System**

**x**

"Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, I'm glad you could make it," rumbled Admiral Hackett, looking around his office. He'd come to think of the men and women gathered here as Shepard's supporters. They were the people who believed Commander Shepard's warning about the Reapers, or else believed that they could not sit and do nothing in the event that Shepard turned out to be right. They had all arrived at Arcturus under some pretext, and they had all gathered in the office of the Admiral of the Fleet.

David Anderson was there, a good, reliable man. He'd just returned from Earth and spoken to Shepard about the need for secrecy and calm at this point. Shepard must not be allowed to be seen as a rabble rouser, or worse, a conspiracy-obsessed madman.

"Admiral Anderson, I understand you've spoken to Commander Shepard," said Hackett, formally starting the meeting.

"Yes, Fleet Admiral," replied Anderson. "I've emphasised the need to lay low, for the moment. I got the impression that he's frustrated, because he thinks that nothing's being done. But I told him we're on the case."

"We most certainly are," said Hackett.

"I hope he's holding up alright," said Captain Hannah Shepard, Jack's mother. Small and petite, with light brown chin-length hair and cool grey eyes, she nevertheless managed to command respect and project authority. It wasn't difficult to see her influence written deeply in her son.

"He is, Hannah. A little bored, but he's okay."

"That's good," she said, giving Anderson a warm smile.

Hackett turned his attention to their newest ally, humanity's Ambassador to the Citadel, Inara Serra. The ambassador, her beautiful orange evening gown and flowing black hair very striking against the military backdrop of his office, looked lively and interested.

"Ambassador, I trust the Councillor remains in the dark about our little secret?"

"Councillor Udina neither trusts nor talks to me much, I'm afraid," said Inara. "Fortunately, this makes my work a little easier."

The rest of the table laughed at this small joke, cutting through the tension. Hackett admired the ambassador's ability to defuse a tense situation with one deft quip.

"Good, this will go much easier without his interference," said Hackett bluntly. He called up a large hologram which hung in the air above the table. Keying in details, a chart with the eight Alliance fleets currently in service were displayed.

"Let's go over the basics first. Here is where we stand, as of now.

The First Fleet, scheduled to patrol the Charon Relay near Pluto within the next fortnight. Commanding officer, Admiral Ines Lindholm. Fleet strength is currently at two-thirds, after the Battle of the Citadel.

The Second Fleet, currently patrolling Terminus Systems space. Commanding officer, Admiral Muhammad Rashid al-Maliki.

The Third Fleet, currently stationed at Arcturus. Commanding officer, Admiral Nitesh Singh. Fleet strength is currently half of total, after the Battle of the Citadel.

The Fourth Fleet, permanently stationed in Earth orbit. Commanding officer, Rear Admiral Stanislaw Fabianski.

The Fifth Fleet, my fleet. Commanding officer to be Captain Hannah Shepard on occasion of her next promotion, when I formally hand over the reigns. Fleet strength at two-thirds, after the Battle of the Citadel. Currently stationed here at Arcturus.

The Sixth Fleet, currently refuelling at Terra Nova. Commanding officer, Admiral Blythe Parker-Prescott.

The Seventh Fleet, stationed near Eden Prime. Commanding officer, Rear Admiral Kurt von Richthofen."

And finally the Eighth Fleet, stationed at the Citadel. Commanding officer, Rear Admiral Moussa Nyobe."

Everyone pored over the details. A few made notes. They looked worried, but also resolved at the work that lay before them.

"How fast can we get the under-strength fleets back up to full strength?" asked Martin Wyndham, an assistant secretary at the Department of Supply.

"I've been strongly urging the Prime Minister to step up production," said Hackett. "Although he's not doing everything we'd like him to do, there's been some movement at least."

"We should move the fleets back to Alliance space," suggested Jamal Abdullah, the Deputy Director of the AIA.

"Good point, I'll send out the word."

"What about dreadnought production?"

"It takes too long to get one ready," said Hannah.

"According to Jack's reports, they are still the best defense we have against the Reapers," said Anderson.

"Given our resources and the time constraints...carriers are a better bet in my opinion."

"Dreadnought production is still bound by the Treaty of Farixen. I believe we should fully complete and equip whatever dreadnoughts we already have while mass-producing more of other ships," said Hackett. The rest of the table seemed to agree with him.

The meeting moved on to cover civilian preparedness, evacuation routes, emergency aid and possible diplomatic assistance from the other Citadel races. Hackett's contacts within the State Department were doing their best to spread Shepard's warning to the other major powers of the galaxy, while Inara promised to do her best to coordinate the whole effort.

Eventually Hackett stood up, satisfied that they had done all they could.

"Thank you ladies and gentlemen. I'm not sure when we can all meet again in one place like today, but I'll keep you updated. Do the best you can without drawing too much attention to yourselves. Every little bit we do will save lives down the line."

"Not to be the fly in the jam...but what we're doing isn't exactly treasonous, is it?" asked Martin. He looked nervous, probably because he had the most to do.

"We are contravening direct orders," said Hackett. "I've never hidden that from all of you. What we're doing might be technically illegal. But you know what's at stake here. We cannot afford to remain idle and hope everything turns out alright. Humanity's safety is in our hands."

Martin still looked unsure, so Hackett addressed him personally. "Martin, a long time ago before the Second World War, Prime Minister Winston Churchill of the United Kingdom was just a Member of Parliament, not part of the government, and yet he refused to do nothing while Adolf Hitler gathered his armies. A few of Churchill's friends stood by him, passing him secret and classified information even though it was illegal, and as a result they were better prepared when war was proven to be inevitable. Just like today, we will all be vindicated in time. Shepard most of all. Until then, we will do what we must."

Everyone looked reassured. One by one they left the room, after bidding farewell to Hackett. Eventually only Anderson and Hannah Shepard were left.

"So I'm going to be an Admiral at last," said Hannah. But instead of sounding happy, she sounded like she was contemplating an unpleasant chore. Hackett had to laugh at her glumness.

"You should have been an Admiral long ago," said Hackett.

"I liked captaining my own ship, Steven. You know that."

"So did I," said Anderson. "But flag rank's not too bad, Hannah. More people have to salute you."

Hannah knew Anderson was joking, he cared less about military formalities than about getting the job done.

"What about Jack's ship? I know he loves that thing, almost as much as he loves his old mum."

"Alliance brass demanded a full lockdown and investigation, I can't overrule them," said Hackett. "The Normandy is currently being run over with a fine-toothed comb, docked in Murmansk, Russia."

"We have a base in Murmansk?" wondered Hannah.

"Yes. A very cold and remote one. They figured there would be less eyes around."

"What about his crew?" asked Anderson. "Jack's said repeatedly they're important to him, and he wants to work with them again. Can't you pull some strings?"

"I'm doing all I can, but I can't override the rest of the Admiralty Board," said Hackett. "Karin Chakwas was the easiest to clear, she really did a number on them by applying for full leave and sticking to the rules. The engineers, his flight lieutenant...it'll be tricky trying to prove they never did questionable things while in Cerberus's employ."

Anderson nodded. "The best we can do, under the circumstances. I'll set up a meeting with the rest of the Fleet Commanding Officers. The more we can get on our side, the better."

"Good job with getting the Ambassador on our side, by the way," said Hannah.

"Thank you, but it was the least I could do after resigning from the Council. I know Inara, she's not the type to lose her head in a crisis. She'll do a good job," said Anderson.

"I better get back to Fifth," said Hannah, getting up. "I'll see you later, Fleet Admiral. You too, David."

The two men bid her goodbye. Then it was just the two of them left.

"Anderson, do you ever wonder how things will be different if we'd only done something differently?" asked Hackett philosophically. Anderson was surprised, it wasn't often that Hackett was given to flights of fancy. He was usually such a rational, stoic man.

"Not really, sir."

"Not at all? For instance, you almost became our first human Spectre. Maybe if you had been, we could have stopped Saren sooner."

"Maybe, sir," replied Anderson, thinking it over. "But to my mind, since we can't change our choices, all we can do is to choose more carefully the next time around."

Hackett was silent for a while, and stared off into the distance.

"It looks like it'll be our fate to be the poor bastards in the biggest baptism of fire humanity has ever seen," he muttered.

"For what it's worth sir, and you know I never give you any bullshit, I am glad you're here. I couldn't imagine a better man to stand between us and the Reapers."

Hackett shook Anderson's hand. "Thank you, Admiral. But we both know it isn't just about us. We have one more ace in the hole."

"Sir, I have no doubt Jack will deliver when the time comes. He always has."

"For all our sakes, I hope like hell he always will."

**x**

**Alliance Vancouver Base**

**Vancouver, Canada**

**UNAS**

**Earth**

**Some time later**

**x**

James Vega was going through his workout routine in the gym, pumping iron with a couple dozen other soldiers. He'd invited Shepard to join him, but he had another meeting with his legal counsel. Shepard mentioned he was going to try to persuade Barsoom to try lying without actually announcing that he was lying today. Vega wished him luck.

A runner came into the gym. "First Lieutenant James Vega? Are you here?"

Vega put the weight back on the rack and stood up, mopping the sweat from his brow. "Yeah, that's me. What's up?"

"There's someone from Arcturus to see you, sir. An admin matter."

"Which way?"

"Briefing room 36-B."

"Alright, give me five minutes. I'll be there."

"Yes sir."

The runner left, and Vega went to the locker room to get his stuff. He was a little annoyed at having to interrupt his workout. He wiped himself down as best he could, pulled on a shirt, and headed to the briefing room. Vega didn't think he'd attracted enough attention to warrant a personal briefing with someone from Arcturus. Maybe some pencil-pushing officer wanted to question him about his botched mission against the Collectors. Maybe it was the Bureau of Personnel, come to assign him to another proper battalion once more.

He wasn't expecting quite possibly the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen in his life, olive skin, long black hair that flowed to her shoulders, and a coolly dangerous expression that suggested _Do not waste my time. Ever. _James stared, then realised he was staring and quickly sat down at the small table across from her.

"Uh...hey, I'm First Lieutenant James Vega, Alliance Marines."

She shook his hand. No smile. "Pleased to meet you. My name is Lieutenant Commander Ashley Williams, Alliance Marines. It's my first time here in Vancouver Base."

"So what brings you to Vancouver, LC?"

Ashley seemed irritated by his easy-going, near flippant tone, but didn't comment. "I'm assigned to Admiral Anderson's office, and First Fleet at large. I'm here to prep for his arrival back to Earth. The Admiralty Board want to speak to me too, so I'm here for that as well."

"Gotcha. But what does this have to do with me?"

"I – ah – understand that you're the marine assigned to guard Commander Shepard in the detention centre."

"That's correct," said Vega. He noted her hesitation with interest.

"I have some messages from Admiral Anderson to be delivered to Shepard personally. Can you please hand this over to him?"

"I will," said Vega, taking the datapad. "But couldn't you do it yourself?"

"I'd prefer not to meet the Commander right now," said Ashley.

"Is this something I should ask about?"

"It's sort of personal. I'd rather you didn't."

"O-kay, no go area, got that."

"Oh, and one more thing. Don't tell Shepard I dropped by, or that I'll be around here, okay?"

"I think he'll be a bit curious who's giving him these messages -"

"Lieutenant, that's an order. Do I make myself clear?"

Vega was silent for a moment. "Yes ma'am, absolutely," he said.

"Good. Just say it's from Anderson. Look, I need to get to another appointment. See that it gets to him."

Without a word of farewell Ashley left the room. Vega considered saying all sorts of things to her retreating back. Eventually he just got up and made his way to the brig, walking slowly and thinking hard. Shepard should have finished his meeting by then.

"Commander? You there?"

The door opened. Shepard looked like he'd gone ten rounds with a krogan. "Hey Vega."

"Good meeting?"

"No actually, it was horrible. But never mind that."

Vega held up the datapad. "Got something from you. It's from Admiral Anderson."

"Anderson? Is he back at Vancouver Base already?"

"Uh, no, he's on his way. An aide passed this on."

"Alright, thanks James."

"No problem, Commander."

Vega walked away, still thinking about Shepard. He'd known the man for several months now, spent time with him almost every day, and he still felt like he wasn't anywhere close to knowing who he really was. Shepard was professional, liked to joke, and seemed like an all-round nice guy, but someone who blew up the Bahak System had to have ice-water in his veins. Someone who allegedly died and was brought back by the Illusive Man, of all people, had to have something going on beneath the surface. Vega resolved to keep an eye on him until he'd proven he could be trusted.

**xxxx**

Barsoom wasn't budging. Each time I had tried to get him to lie, and each time the best he could come up with was "Untruthful qualifier: This is a truthful statement: My client is innocent." But at least I had something else to distract me from the pathetic performance of my legal counsel. Another bunch of letters from Jack.

Vega had said Anderson was about to come back to Earth, which meant that my trial would be starting soon. I hoped no one would laugh too hard before they sentenced me to a million years in jail or a public hanging or something equally fun. But screw that, I had letters to read.

I kicked off my boots, lay down on my bed and read the first one.

_Hey Jack,_

_Well looks like you really can't write back to me. At least I'm hoping it's because the Alliance censors all your letters and throws them in the trash. Because if I find out it's just cos you can't be bothered to write back, I will hunt you down and do that thing I did to you back after we blew up that Cerberus Base in Tereshkova, except there'll be no safeword this time._

_Lots to tell you. You won't believe how fast the kids are learning. At first I thought maybe like more than half would flake out and quit on me. But more are signing up every week. I guess word travels fast in such a small place. Their shields are good. Their bolts and waves aren't too bad, but they could use some work. But they're good, like, ready to fight good. I'd match any one of them up against any one of your sissy marines any day._

_I mean, this one kid, Sarah Rodriguez. She's not that powerful, but she gets knocked down on her ass more times than I can count and she just gets back again, ready for more. This other guy, Jason Prangley, he's a quiet kid but you can tell he's got a lot going on upstairs. I talk about tactics sometimes, and he's the one who listens the most._

_I think Sarah likes him, but he doesn't seem to have it figured out yet. Why are you guys always so clueless?_

_The rest of the class are really good too. But it hasn't been all smooth sailing. There was this kid, guy by the name of Harbhajan Singh. I gave him a hard time in one of the classes and he talked some smack and just walked on out of there. First time one of my kids ever did something like that._

_You know what's funny Jack, I was so mad at the guy. I was so fuckin' mad that someone would talk that way to me, especially since all I was trying to do was to teach him something that might save his life someday. I was ready to punch his head off his shoulders. Then I realised something._

_You wouldn't have done the same thing. You might have gotten mad, but not as mad as I did. The reason is because you've had someone way, waaaay fuckin' worse to deal with. Namely me._

_Jack I tell ya, when I realised that it hit me like a ton of bricks. I have done so much worse to you and you still keep coming back for more. How you put up with it, I have no idea. But it made me realise something else. If you didn't quit, there is no way in hell I'm gonna quit either. The other kids still need a teacher. So instead of blowing the joint like I wanted to and going back to Omega to put the fear of God in them once more, I stayed. And I continued my classes. And whaddya know, Singh came back to apologise. Every fibre of his body did not want to do it, I could see it in his face. But he did it anyway._

_I'm sorry Jack. I'm sorry for pushing you away like I did, for treating you like shit when all you wanted was to get to know me better. And even when you did, you didn't leave. You stayed right there with me. I guess back then, all I ever was afraid of was being loved by you. I thought I didn't deserve it, couldn't. Not with all the shit I've been through. But you helped me to realise that I was wrong about that. I'm not a broken little girl any longer, and I'm not the punk who kills for fun. I'm someone different. I actually like the person I am today. And it's because you wouldn't give up._

_I love you Jack. Come back to me._

_Always yours,_

_Jackie._

I stopped reading and just stared at the ceiling, thinking about what Jack had written.

"I will," I said to the night air. "I will, I promise. Soon."


	37. The Curtain Rises

**Chapter 37 – The Curtain Rises**

**x**

**Office of the Admiral of the Alliance Fleet**

**Arcturus Station**

**Themis**

**Arcturus System**

**x**

Fleet Admiral Steven Hackett silently contemplated the galactic map he had projected in the air above the conference table in the middle of his office. It displayed the position of his eight fleets, newly returned to Alliance space. He had disguised his true intentions with orders to refuel and undergo routine maintenance, and as a result all of the Alliance's fleets were back in Alliance space, where they could go to protect Alliance territory at a moment's notice. In the quiet of his office, he could concentrate and plan their next move.

He sipped coffee from the mug his only granddaughter had given him and watched the map with hawklike intensity. Hackett felt an almost paternal concern for each of his Fleet Commanding Officers, and for every man and woman serving on board those ships. Having been appointed Admiral of the Fleet and handing over command of Fifth Fleet to Rear Admiral Hannah Shepard, he had to think bigger now.

He still took orders from the Admiralty Board, the Secretary of Defense, the Prime Minister and from the Citadel Councillor, but Hackett was the highest ranking military officer in humanity's navy. A heavy burden and responsibility weighed on his shoulders.

In order to protect the servicemen and women under his command as best he could, Hackett had chosen to believe Commander Shepard's warning about the Reapers. He did this for three reasons. Firstly, Shepard had an outstanding military record. He didn't earn his Star of Terra for nothing. Secondly, Shepard had been right about the rogue Spectre Saren when everyone else didn't believe him. And third, the mighty Alliance fleets had been unable to safeguard the outer colonies from attack. Shepard stopped the Collectors within a matter of months, and proved beyond doubt that he had repudiated Cerberus when he killed Ransom Foley, the Illusive Man's strongest ally back on Earth.

But if Shepard was right, then humanity would soon be plunged into a terrible war, the likes of which it had never encountered before. Humanity was no stranger to war. Humans had visited horrific slaughter upon one another in their less enlightened past. Even their first discovery of alien life had led to a war. Humans were aggressive, quick to adapt, and extremely innovative, particularly when it came to technology.

But Hackett believed that humanity, and for that matter the rest of the Citadel races, were handicapped when the time came to face their new enemy. Throughout galactic history, wars had always been fought between two sides who could negotiate and understand each other. Even the krogans wanted goals that were understandable, such as more territory and planets to expand their control. Even the rachni could communicate.

But the Reapers were unknowable. The Reapers were truly _alien _even in a community where one species lived as long as a human civilisation, another floated in mid-air and used bioluminescence to communicate, and yet another accepted eternal war as a way of life. The Reapers had no need for things like supplies, or a communications network, or rest. The Reapers could not be negotiated with, they could not be reasoned with, they could not be analysed to discover a motive or a weakness upon which their enemies could act.

The Reapers simply wanted to destroy everything and remake the galaxy in their image. They did not accept nor understand the concept of surrender. A war with the Reapers would mean a war without end, a war that would not cease until every man, woman and child in the galaxy was either dead or their slave. You couldn't even betray your friends and go over to their side if you wanted to. The Reapers had re-written the laws and rules of war. Shepard had understood and grasped this better than anyone else alive, partly because he was exposed to the Prothean beacon and glimpsed their true nature, and partly because he was the only man to have fought a Reaper and lived.

That knowledge alone was enough to break a man. Instead it had energised Shepard. Instead of making him despair, it had made him furious. He refused to lie down in the path of their relentless advance, and Hackett took heart from it. If more people took Shepard's stance, they just might have a chance.

"Where are you..." he muttered to himself.

Hackett pored over the map again and took notes. As Fleet Admiral he had to oversee not only all eight fleets, but also their upkeep and supplies and staffing requirements. It was a challenge, a big step up from being the Commanding Officer of just one fleet. Hackett hoped he could handle the job. But he wouldn't have accepted it if he didn't think he could.

The sound of running footsteps made him look up even before his door was flung open. He had given strict orders not to be interrupted and he _knew, _deep in his heart, that the moment had finally arrived.

"Fleet Admiral!" It was his personal assistant. "Something's come up, the Secretary of Defense wants you in the War Room immediately."

Through long experience, Hackett had learned not to waste a second when every second counted. He hurried out of his room and through the corridors with his PA struggling to keep up, firing off questions along the way.

"What's the nature of the situation?"

"Long-range scanners have gone dark, sir."

"An attack?"

"We're not sure at the moment. It might be a malfunction."

"If it was a malfunction, SecDef wouldn't be calling me to the War Room. Has the Prime Minister been notified?"

"Not yet sir, Parliament is in session. He's taking questions in the House."

Hackett swore. Parliament in session at the worst possible time, right after a Cabinet meeting earlier in the day. The Alliance government and MPs were all gathered on Arcturus Station. Granted it was heavily defended, but Hackett didn't like taking chances.

The War Room was a hive of chaotic activity. Technicians and soldiers and junior ministers were running around, frantically trying to get a grip on the situation. Holographic maps blinked like stars everywhere. Hackett crossed the room and went up to the elevated platform where the Secretary of Defense, a huge, fierce, bearded man named Kyriakos Papadopoulous was bellowing orders.

"Get me more information, we cannot act until we know what we're dealing with!"

"Mister Secretary," greeted Hackett, saluting.

"Hackett, what the hell is going on?"

"What's the situation, sir?"

"Our outposts have gone dark, and so have some of the most outlying colonies. No communication whatsoever. We've ruled out any technical faults."

Hackett took a deep breath. "Sir, I believe this is an attack."

"The batarians?"

"No sir. The Reapers."

The SecDef looked furious. "Don't play games with me, Fleet Admiral!"

"Sir, I am being deadly serious," said Hackett. "I believe this is what Shepard warned us about. I believe this is the moment."

"The Reapers," whispered Kyriakos. "Hackett...how do we stop this?"

"The Second, Third and Fifth Fleets are stationed here, sir."

"You think they'll attack Arcturus?"

"No sir, I think they will use the Arcturus Relay to mount an attack on Earth."

"The homeworld? Why?"

"One reason, sir. Because Commander Shepard is there. He's the only one who's ever gone up against them and lived to tell the tale."

Kyriakos nodded grimly. He turned away from Hackett and roared an order to the entire War Room that everyone damn well heard.

"LISTEN UP PEOPLE! Send a message to the Commanding Officers of First Fleet at the Charon Relay and Fourth Fleet in Earth orbit immediately! There is going to be an imminent attack! This is not a drill!"

Hackett nodded. "Sir, with your permission I will take a shuttle to the flagship of Fifth Fleet and take command of Second, Third and Fifth to defend the Arcturus Station and Relay."

"Permission denied, Fleet Admiral! If there's going to be an attack, it's not safe out there."

"Mister Secretary, my place is out there. I need to do what I can to stop this attack."

"You're not going to listen to me even if I deny you permission again, are you?"

"Kyriakos," said Hackett, using the Secretary's first name. "I need to be on the frontlines."

"Goddamnit," muttered SecDef. "Go then, but do not take any unnecessary risks, do you hear me? That is an order. We're going to need you."

"Aye aye, sir."

Hackett saluted again, then turned and left the War Room. The Secretary of Defense was still barking rapid orders to his army of underlings.

"Warn the Admiralty Board on Earth. PHILLIP! Get over to Parliament and inform the Prime Minister right now! I don't care if he's speaking, this is an emergency!"

Hackett hurried to the nearest docking bay, ordering his PA to get him a shuttle to the SSV _Orizaba_. Along the way, he called Hannah Shepard on his personal communicator.

"Rear Admiral Shepard, this is Fleet Admiral Hackett."

"Steven, what's going on?" asked Hannah. She looked worried.

"It's time," replied Hackett.

"The Reapers?"

Hackett nodded silently. Hannah looked shocked, then her face settled into an expression of stern acceptance.

"Very well. I'll have the _Orizaba_ standing by to receive your shuttle at once. I'll open up communications with Rashid and Nitesh."

"Thank you, Hannah. I'll see you in a few minutes."

**x**

**SSV Orizaba (Dreadnought, flagship of Fifth Fleet)**

**Arcturus Station**

**x**

Hackett went up to the bridge, moving so fast the assorted Navy personnel and marines didn't have time to recognise him and salute. The _Orizaba_ had been his, once upon a time, and the bridge was just like how he remembered it.

"Fleet Admiral," greeted Hannah, a bit more formally this time in front of her crew. Hackett returned her salute and faced the two holographic screens which displayed the commanding officers of the other two fleets in orbit around Arcturus.

"Admiral Muhammad Rashid al-Maliki, Commanding Officer of the Second Fleet, reporting in Fleet Admiral," said a thin man with a neatly trimmed goatee.

"Admiral Nitesh Singh, Commanding Officer of the Third Fleet, reporting in Fleet Admiral," said Nitesh in his deep voice. Instead of a cap, he was wearing a turban in Alliance-standard blue in deference to his Sikh religion.

"Good to see you both," replied Hackett. Quickly and efficiently, he explained the situation and his suspicions of an incoming attack.

"Has Earth been warned?" asked Admiral Rashid.

"Yes."

"Stanislaw's the last line of defense," said Admiral Singh, referring to the Admiral in charge of the Fourth Fleet, stationed in orbit around Earth.

"We're the first," said Hackett. "Arcturus leads to Charon, where Admiral Lindholm has the First waiting. But I'd rather it not come to that. We will stop them here, ladies and gentlemen. The Reapers will go no further than this system."

"We'll do our best, sir."

Hackett gave orders for Second Fleet to mass themselves around the Arcturus Relay while the Third and Fifth Fleet took up positions alongside Arcturus.

"Keep communications open at all times," said Hannah Shepard in the background to her communications officer. "I want us to be able to receive orders from the Prime Minister or to send an emergency evac order if needed."

"Aye aye ma'am."

Everyone on the bridge worked a little faster. Tension was incredibly high, nerves stretched to breaking point. Part of it was fear of the unknown. Almost all of them had never faced a Reaper before. They had no idea what to expect. It reminded Hackett of ancient times when a commander would wait on the walls of a castle, fighting the mounting tension as the enemy slowly revealed themselves. Back then, as it was today, the key was to keep a cool head and to give the right orders.

Suddenly...there was a parting of the fog.

"Sir, ma'am, our scanners are picking up multiple incoming hostiles."

"How many?"

"Hundreds, ma'am. More are popping up every second."

"This is it," said Hackett. "Open up communications. Let me address the Fifth."

"Aye aye, sir."

Hackett thought about what he wanted to say, and decided to make it quick.

"Soldiers of the Fifth, this is Fleet Admiral Steven Hackett. We are about to engage in battle with the Reapers. They are strong, but we have three fleets ready and waiting to throw back their advance. The Parliament and Alliance government are on Arcturus. Our friends and colleagues and family are on Arcturus. We will not give them up without a fight. We will not give the Reapers an inch. Hackett out."

Hannah Shepard went over to stand beside him. "We've done all we could."

"We'll need to do more in a few minutes."

"Yes sir. Let me handle the _Orizaba_ and the Fifth. You should oversee the entire battle."

"Acknowledged, Rear Admiral."

Hackett and Hannah Shepard gave orders for the dreadnoughts to charge up their main guns. When the first Reaper ships crossed the threshold of firing range, they would cut loose. Cruisers would guard the dreadnoughts from direct attack, while frigate 'wolfpacks' would hunt down and destroy individual ships. Swarms of fighters and drones, launched from carrier ships, would support them. Standard Alliance doctrine for a large-scale battle. They hoped it would be enough.

Hackett watched the hologram depicting Arcturus Station, the Arcturus Relay further away, and the positions of the three fleets. The first Reaper ships began to appear on the edge of their most powerful scanners, and Hackett quickly ordered the recon officer to call up a more detailed scan. He laid eyes on the first Reaper he'd seen since the Battle of the Citadel, a couple of years ago. Armoured all over in black, with sinister glowing red 'eyes' and grasping tendrils that had to extend for miles, Hackett knew from personal experience just how dangerous even once could be.

"My god," said Hackett. "That looks like a capital ship, similar to the size of Sovereign."

"You took him down, sir."

"There are far more than just one. Send word to Third for its dreadnought to target the Reaper capital ships."

"Aye aye sir."

Behind the capital ships came a group of smaller destroyer-class Reapers. They weren't as massive as the bigger Reapers, but there were more of them and they still looked deadly. Hackett tried to quell his growing worry. There were far more of them than he expected.

"Reaper capital ship within range, Rear Admiral."

"Fire," ordered Hannah calmly.

There was a faraway rumble from deep within the heart of the ship as the _Orizaba _charged up its main gun. A dreadnought's main weapon was almost never fired. At full strength, it could blow chunks off a moon. With the main gun an entire kilometre in length, capable of accelerating a twenty kilogram slug to 1.3% light speed every two seconds, it was the most destructive thing that humanity had ever built. The slug would impact with the force of two and half times the atomic bomb that wiped out Hiroshima, _every two seconds. _

Hackett, and everyone else on the bridge, held their breath as the dreadnought opened fire. A brilliant beam of energy arced through the cold reaches of space and hit the first Reaper. There was a tremendous flash. But as they watched the scans and examined the readouts..._the Reaper kept coming._

"It's a hit ma'am, but it doesn't seem to be slowing down!"

"Keep firing!" ordered Hannah. Behind her, Hackett had his head bowed, seemingly lost in thought.

"Can we contact Admiral Singh? Both of our dreadnoughts should focus on one target."

"Third's got problems, sir, another wave of Reapers is headed straight for them! And we've got enemy destroyers closing in fast!"

Hannah Shepard snapped out quickfire orders, rapid as a machine gun. "Carriers, deploy all fighters and drones! Frigate squads, harry enemy ships and keep them away from the fleet! Cruisers are not to chase individual targets, but to remain in formation and fire en masse!"

"Aye aye, ma'am!" came the harried responses.

So far the Reapers had not struck back, but instead moved inexorably forward like some eldritch tidal wave. Now inevitably, they began to fire. The Reaper capital ship that the _Orizaba _had been hammering repeatedly almost insolently ignored the hits it was taking and fired its main gun, targeting a carrier ship.

There was a flash of light, and the entire carrier exploded. There wasn't even flaming wreckage left behind.

"Oh my God!"

"Which one was that?!"

"XO, who did we lose?" shouted Hannah.

"The SSV _John Locke, _ma'am, it's completely destroyed!"

"Order all carriers to take evasive maneuvers immediately, their shields won't stand up to an attack from a capital ship!" snapped Hannah. Hackett was watching the tactical display. Admiral Singh appeared to have pulled back his flagship the SSV _Logan _out of the Reapers' firing range. Instead of firing on the capital ships, the dreadnought was blasting at a destroyer closest to the Third. It didn't appear to be damaged, but neither was it advancing any further.

The Fifth weren't having much more luck. The Reaper capital ships killed everything they targeted. The destroyers were a little less powerful, but not by much. Even three-on-one, the Fifth's cruisers weren't troubling a single destroyer much. Only with four-on-one odds, plus added backup from frigates, fighters and drones, were the Fifth able to knock a few destroyers out of commission. But they were fast running out of ships. In just a few minutes, they were in danger of being overrun.

"Target the destroyers instead," Hackett suggested to Hannah Shepard, who immediately relayed the order to her XO. Even the dreadnought's main gun wasn't doing any noticeable harm to the Reaper capital ship. The Fifth were fighting with all their might and skill, but to Hackett's trained eye it seemed like the Reapers could have wiped them all out if they made a concerted effort. Instead they fought as individuals, without a clear goal in mind. He filed away that bit of information for future use, if he managed to get out of today's battle alive.

"Ma'am, most of the Reaper fleet are headed for Arcturus Station," reported the _Orizaba's _XO, fear in every word.

"Order all ships to go after them and try to slow them down," said Hannah. "Steven, we need to warn them!"

Hackett was about to order the communications officer to open up a vidcall to Arcturus Station when a transmission for him popped up instead. It was Prime Minister Amul Shastri, looking like a haunted man. From the looks of things he was in his office, alone.

"Fleet Admiral, is that you?"

"Hackett reporting, sir."

"You were right. You and Shepard were right all along. I should have listened to you."

Hackett didn't bother wasting time by agreeing. "Prime Minister, you need to order a full evacuation of Arcturus Station immediately. Fifth and Third Fleets will not be able to stop the Reapers' advance."

"We're trying, but the Reaper ships are targeting any shuttles that get off-station," said Shastri resignedly.

"It's a targeted attack. They want to take out our leadership and military command," Hackett said softly, rocked by the cunning of the Reapers.

"There isn't much time. We need to save whatever fleet strength we have left. If they're really heading for the relay, they're targeting Earth. We cannot lose the homeworld, Fleet Admiral. _We cannot._"

"Understood, sir. With your permission, the fleets will retreat."

"We will die, but Earth might have a fighting chance," said Shastri wearily. "Hackett, there is one last thing. If you get the chance, send word to Commander Shepard. He is to be reinstated into the Alliance military with immediate effect, and promoted one grade. It's the least we can do after the shit we've put him through."

"Yes sir. Sir? We will not forget your sacrifice."

"God give you strength, Fleet Admiral. Find a way to win."

"Aye aye, sir," said Hackett, knowing in his heart this would be the last time he would see the Prime Minister alive, and saluted. Shastri returned it, then cut the transmission.

"Give me an update, quick."

"The Second have taken tremendous damage, sir," said Hannah, her eyes flying over the scans and holographic maps. "They're at one-fifth strength, and falling fast. The Third are doing better, but not by much. Fifth is at two-thirds strength. The Reapers seem to be bypassing us and the Third and rushing towards the Arcturus Relay. Rashid's doing his best, but they're blasting his ships out of the way and making the jump."

"To Earth?"

"That's our best guess sir. Let's hope Ines is ready."

"Send a transmission to Rashid," said Hackett heavily to the communications officer. "I need to speak to him."

"Aye aye, sir."

A screen popped into existence in front of him. Admiral Muhammad Rashid al-Maliki, at just forty-six years old, was one of the youngest and most talented officers in the Alliance Navy. Urbane and dapper, fond of classical literature and theatre, he had been a good friend to Hackett over the years. Not very close, but close enough that they knew each other's children. And yet Hackett was about to pronounce his death sentence.

"Fleet Admiral," greeted Rashid with impressive calm. He sounded like he'd just bumped into Hackett at a garden party. His legendary self-possession even in the fires of battle had been part of the reason why he made flag rank so fast.

"Rashid, the Prime Minister has just ordered a full-scale retreat."

"What about Arcturus Station?"

"We need to save what we can."

Rashid nodded solemnly. "Understood. What do you need me to do?"

"Fifth and Third are currently en route to the Arcturus Relay. We need you to provide cover for us while we make the jump."

There was a moment of silence as the full meaning of Hackett's order sunk in. Hackett would forever remember that he saw not one ounce of fear or despair or anger in Rashid's expression, just a steely determination to get the job done.

"Then you shall have that cover. _Insya'Allah_, we will slow them down long enough."

"Make them pay, Admiral."

"Sir, if I could ask a favour. My family..."

"I'll tell them myself," said Hackett. "Never doubt that."

"Thank you, Steven. It has been my honour to serve you. SSV _Elbrus _out."

Hackett gripped the bulkhead. A couple of tears rolled down his face as he gave the orders for Third and Fifth to make the jump at full speed.

"Approaching Arcturus Relay in T-minus four minutes, sir," informed the XO. "Third Fleet already making the jump."

Hackett and Hannah watched the map as Second Fleet moved from their defensive positions near the Arcturus Relay. They could have turned away, but they didn't. They owed it to their colleague and friend who willingly gave up his life so that he could save what was left of the Alliance's military strength.

They saw the SSV _Elbrus, _an older Everest-class dreadnought begin to open fire on the Reaper ships. They saw the last few frigates and fighters chase away the destroyers that moved too close to the flagship, the final handful of carriers using their ship-based guns in desperation. If Hackett had any doubts that the Reapers were more than just advanced AIs, he had his answer when he saw them picking off the other ships one by one, prolonging the agony of the crew of the _Elbrus _who had to hear their comrades die all around them.

They were cruel. They were malicious. They were evil. And for that, they had to be stopped.

Finally, the Reapers turned their attention to the _Elbrus. _As the dreadnought kept firing, even at near point-blank range, a group of capital ships opened fire. One would have been enough. The six or so that hit the _Elbrus _completely disintegrated it in a matter of seconds.

Hackett kept watching, etching every second of the final stand of the Second Fleet in his brain, resolving to tell Rashid's wife and children that he died like a hero.

"Rashid," said Hannah softly. "He's gone."

"We need to get going too," said Hackett. "ETA to Arcturus Relay, XO?"

"Thirty seconds, Fleet Admiral."

"We need to regroup at the Citadel," said Hackett to Hannah Shepard.

"What about Earth?" she said, eyes wide in surprise.

"We need to save what we can," said Hackett again.

"Are we giving up on the homeworld sir?"

"Hannah, you've seen it for yourself. Three fleets couldn't slow the Reapers down. We cannot fight them on our own. We need the help of the other Citadel races."

"Sir, _my son _is on Earth!"

"I know that, Rear Admiral! And we need to help him! I've sent a message to Anderson to get him off-planet ASAP, and we need to be there when he needs us for the counterattack. Do you understand me?" said Hackett, his voice raised for the first time since he'd been called to the War Room.

"Sir...the First...Fourth Fleet. They're sitting ducks."

Hackett's face was like stone. "Admiral Lindholm and Rear Admiral Fabianski will do their duty, Rear Admiral. As we must."

Hannah bit off a retort and saluted so crisply it could have sliced a plank of wood in half. Hackett knew she only did that when she was extremely emotional. But she kept it under check.

"Yes sir. Charting course for the Citadel, sir."

"God help us all now," muttered Hackett, as Fifth Fleet hurtled towards the Arcturus Relay. Behind them, Arcturus Station lit up for a moment as a Reaper capital ship took aim, before exploding into nothingness.

**x**

**Office of the Humanity Systems Alliance's Ambassador to the Citadel**

**The Citadel**

**x**

Ambassador Inara Serra had gotten up early and read through a few reports while choosing her outfit (an elaborate affair made out of flame-orange silk with yellow trim and a long train). She had breakfast with the volus ambassador, made what she thought was very satisfactory progress on a potential trade agreement regarding rare earths, and decided to return to her office before her afternoon meeting with an asari cultural delegation. Just another day since her move to the Citadel.

"Good afternoon Moira," said Inara to her personal assistant. "Could you send a transmission to Arcturus Station please?"

"Certainly, ma'am. Who would you like to speak to?"

"See if Lord Halifax is free. I've been meaning to call him ever since I started working here and haven't gotten round to it."

"Alright, we'll contact him directly."

Inara sat down at her desk and made a few notes from her appointment earlier before she forgot key details. It was a habit she'd picked up from Edward Henry Fitzherbert Wood, the eighty-ninth Earl of Halifax, her old boss at the Department of State. Halifax was an aristocratic and sometimes a little bit too high-nosed, but he was a genius at negotiation and through years of hard work had managed to make himself indispensable as the Alliance's Secretary of State. Inara had learned a lot just by working with him, and he must have seen something in her too because he appointed her his Undersecretary.

"Inara, how lovely to see you," said SecState, when his transmission got through. Wearing a two-piece suit of a fashion that had to be at least a century old, he nevertheless managed to look completely comfortable in it. He even had a pocket watch on a chain, a family heirloom as he was fond of explaining.

They were chatting amiably about work and nothing in particular when emergency alarms, as loud as a ship's foghorn, sounded in Arcturus.

"Edward, what is that?" asked Inara, shocked by the sudden interruption.

"I haven't the slightest idea," said Lord Halifax, rising from his chair. "They haven't scheduled a drill today, not to my knowledge. Forgive me my dear, but I'd better check this out."

Inara waited, perplexed, as he left the room. After about a minute, he was back in front of the screen. But Inara was shocked to the core at the change she saw in his face. Although old, long-faced and bald to begin with, Lord Halifax looked like he'd aged a century in the past sixty seconds. He looked like a man on the verge of screaming.

"Inara..."

"What is it? What's going on?" she said anxiously.

"The station is threatened. Prime Minister Shastri has made the announcement. The Fleets around Arcturus are under attack by the Reapers," said Lord Halifax. His voice was shaking, something Inara had never heard before.

"The Reapers? You need to get out of there now!"

"I'm afraid I cannot," said Lord Halifax a little more steadily, regaining a bit of his famous stiff upper lip. "According to the flight attendants any shuttles that make it off-station are immediately targeted for destruction by the Reapers."

"Edward..." said Inara, her voice trailing off as she realised she didn't know what to say to a man she had known all her professional life, a man who had given her the first real job she had in politics, and a man who had supported her through some pretty rough spots, in his final moments.

"Edward," she said at last. "We won't forget you. You've made all of our lives better."

The Secretary of State gave her a sad, resigned smile. "Ultimately, that is all any of us can hope for. Send word to the Councillor. Godspeed, my dear."

"I will," said Inara. Lord Halifax cut the transmission, sparing her from seeing him die before her eyes, unable to do anything to stop it.

"Arcturus," said one of her secretaries. "Are they all-?"

"They're all dead," said another staffer, his voice flat and cold. Someone else began to sob quietly.

Inara reached out and gently took their hands with both of hers. "Let us take a moment to pray for the friends we lost." She was a devout Buddhist, and believed that all life was endlessly reborn until an individual achieved the state of nirvana and freed themselves from the wheel of life. But she would miss the people she had worked with and argued with and come to know.

It worked, and her staff began to calm down somewhat. "What do we do now?" someone asked.

"We need to inform the Councillor," said Inara. "The Council needs to know what's going on."

Before Inara could leave her office, an urgent message popped up for her. It was Udina, summoning her to an emergency meeting of the Citadel Council at once.

"He's got the message," said her PA. Inara nodded. Raising her voice, she addressed the entire room.

"Everyone, if you could listen to me for a moment. We're going to have to do a lot of hard work in a very short amount of time, and this will not let up for the forseeable future. It will be tougher than anything we have ever known before, but millions of lives depend on us. We need to be at our best. We volunteered not to serve a country, or a continent, but all of humanity. People are going to need our help, and we are going to give it to them. I will not force you to stay on if you wish to leave this office, but I need you now more than ever."

Her assistants looked around. No one was moving. Inara smiled in gratitude.

"Thank you, everyone. I'll see you all in a few moments."

Flanked by two bodyguards, Inara took her private shuttle to the Citadel Presidium and the private Council chambers of the four most important and powerful individuals in the galaxy. The Presidium rose into the 'sky' like a blade, polished and gleaming. It was the seat and the heart of galactic power, the symbol of law and order in a chaotic sea of stars. The Citadel had survived for untold milennia, no one knew exactly where it came from or when it was built. But in a time of crisis like this one, everyone would look to the Citadel for guidance. Inara hoped fervently that they would have the wisdom to provide it.

After passing through numerous security checks, Inara was led to the Council chambers. The four councillors were already seated, accompanied by their various aides and hangers-on. Udina noticed Inara's entrance, and waved for her to sit down beside him. Inara settled down, drawing the train of her voluminous dress in around her.

"Inara," began Udina. His eyes were bloodshot, his hair and clothes rumpled. He looked like he hadn't slept in a week. "I've just received an emergency transmission from both Fleet Admiral Hackett and Prime Minister Shastri. Arcturus is under attack."

"Yes, the Reapers," said Inara. "I was talking to the Secretary of State on vidcall when it happened. He...he wanted me to tell you sir."

"You saw Halifax...?" asked Udina, unable to speak the last word out loud, which was _die._

"No, Councillor. He cut the transmission before the end."

"Goddamnit," swore Udina.

"Councillors!" called Councillor Tevos of the Asari Republics loudly. "Without further delay, let us begin this emergency session. Councillor Udina, you have the floor."

Udina got to his feet. "My fellow members of the Citadel Council. A while ago I received two urgent, emergency transmissions from Prime Minister Amul Shastri of the Alliance, and our Admiral of the Fleet Steven Hackett. They have confirmed an imminent invasion into Alliance space by the Reapers."

There were gasps of shock and dismay at Udina's words. Silently, he called up a video taken by the SSV _Orizaba. _The Reapers were spread out as far as the eye could see, like some malicious tidal wave, blasting Alliance ships to bits and heading towards Arcturus Station.

"As you can see, Councillors, this is not a hoax or drill of any kind. This is real."

"What happened to Arcturus Station?" asked Councillor Velarn, of the Salarian Union.

"We lost all contact with Arcturus a few minutes ago," replied Udina. "We have to assume that they were killed in the attack."

"What about your fleets, Councillor?" asked Councillor Sparatus, of the Turian Hierarchy.

"The Second, Third and Fifth Fleets were defending Arcturus Station. Fleet Admiral Hackett reports that they have sustained heavy damage, and were forced to retreat. They are currently on their way to the Citadel to regroup."

"Three Alliance fleets were overrun?" asked Councillor Tevos. She looked stunned.

"I am afraid so, Councillor. I am afraid that the warnings of Commander Shepard were not a wild delusion, as some believed. The Reapers are here."

"Are they headed for the Citadel?" asked Councillor Velarn urgently.

"No, Councillor. Admiral Hackett reported that the Reapers were headed towards the Arcturus Relay. We believe they are headed towards the Charon Relay in the Sol system."

"They are targeting Earth?"

"Yes."

To Inara's horror, the other Councillors betrayed a momentary flash of relief. Udina must have seen it too, as his next words were vibrating with emotion.

"Councillors, I am formally requesting that the Citadel rally the combined fleets and send a task force to Earth," he said.

"Councillor," began Tevos. "If what you have just said is true, we cannot stop the Reapers. Not at such short notice, not with the small standing fleet we have around the Citadel."

"The Reapers took down multiple ships when they attacked the Citadel two years ago," added Velarn. "And that was with one capital ship. From the report, there are hundreds of them now."

_Only now you are willing to admit that Sovereign was a Reaper, _thought Inara, but she kept it to herself.

Udina looked shell-shocked. "Councillors...we are asking for your _help. _Earth is in terrible danger! As a Citadel council race, humanity is entitled to mutual defense from the rest of you!"

"We cannot rush into a fight we have no hope of winning, Councillor," said Sparatus, as if a parent to a child.

_You were the loudest voice against Shepard, _thought Inara.

"The other Council races must secure their own borders and mobilise their own fleets. At the right time in the future, we will launch a counterattack."

"How many millions of us will die in the meantime, Sparatus?! How many billions?! _Earth will fall!_"

"The harsh truth is, Councillor, that while the Reapers focus their attention on Earth, the rest of us will have the time we need to gather our forces. We are not abandoning Earth. But we need time," said Councillor Tevos.

"Shepard warned you! You could have had that time, had you listened to him!"

"Control yourself, Councillor," rebuked Tevos sharply. "We are now fully aware of the situation, and it does not help to dwell on matters past. We must now work together to coordinate a feasible response. Earth's sacrifice will not be forgotten."

Udina looked like he wanted to rage some more, but Tevos had spoken in a tone that made it clear the meeting was over. People began to stream out of the room, some looked like their only intention was to call their families and warn them. Soon only the human delegation was left.

"The bastards. The goddamn bastards. I should have known! I should have known they couldn't be trusted! He was right!"

"Who, sir?" asked Inara, the first word she had spoken since she came into the room.

Udina looked at her as if seeing her for the first time. "Never mind. Ambassador, do you know why I called you here?"

"No, Councillor Udina. I didn't get a chance to say a word."

"You are here partly because I had a hunch that I needed someone else to witness that debacle of a meeting. Now we know that we have to stand on our own. But also something more urgent. Ambassador, with the destruction of Arcturus Station, you are the last representative of the Alliance government."

Inara was shocked. "Surely that can't be true!"

Udina nodded. "It is true. Shastri informed me that Parliament was in session, following a Cabinet meeting. No one survived. All of them were killed by the Reapers."

"But...the designated survivor...I thought..."

"The Secretary of Culture is on Earth at the moment, but you come first in the order of succession."

Inara's hand flew to her mouth. "My goodness," she whispered.

"In accordance to Alliance law, you are now the Prime Minister of the Alliance, Inara."

Inara's mind raced, but she knew Udina was right. The moment that the Reapers destroyed Arcturus, she had immediately become the Prime Minister. But there was something...off about Udina. He was looking at her like he was expecting something. Inara's instincts were screaming a warning. She had to choose her next words very carefully.

"If I am sir, then I will perform my responsibilities of the Prime Minister to the best of my ability."

"You will need to do more than that," said Udina. "Arcturus is gone, and with it, the Alliance government. If we are to have any hope of surviving, our response must come from here, the Citadel. I will need to work with you to oversee almost everything...but I expect your full cooperation."

"Are you saying that I will need to obey your orders, Councillor?" asked Inara slowly.

"That is exactly what I am saying."

"With all due respect Councillor," said Inara. "I did not ask for the job, but it has fallen to me and I will not shirk my duty. This does not mean I am an underling for you to order about. We need to work together, but it will be a partnership of equals."

"Inara, you can seriously expect to make a power play, not at a time like this!"

"Councillor Udina, as you have said yourself I am the Prime Minister of the Alliance, and I _will not _obey your every command unthinkingly. You have my full and willing cooperation, but do not make the mistake of thinking you can boss me about. We need to work together now more than ever to survive this crisis."

"I don't believe this!" yelled Udina. "Earth is in danger and all you can think about is making a grab for power!"

He didn't seem to want to say anything else to her, so Inara left the Council chambers. She got into her shuttle and made a beeline for her office.

"Don't stop for anything," she told her driver. "If we get flagged by C-Sec, I'll claim diplomatic immunity."

She hadn't liked forcing the issue, but something told Inara that she had done the right thing. The division of power between the Councillor and the Alliance Prime Minister was unclear even before the Reapers attacked, but she knew that she could not let herself be pushed around by Udina. She would do her job, and help him in any way if he needed it, but she was more than just Inara Serra now. She was the Prime Minister of the Alliance, and she had to uphold the traditions and responsibilities of the office. If she allowed herself to be treated as just another underling by Udina, their relationship would forever be tainted by that first sign of weakness.

Everyone stood up the moment Inara entered her office. "Madam Prime Minister," they greeted.

"One of Udina's aides sent word," said her PA, by way of explanation.

"Thank you, everyone," said Inara. "This is perhaps not the way I ever imagined becoming Prime Minister, but the reality is that I am the only member of the government left standing. There are a lot of things we need to do, and to do them quickly. Moira?"

"Yes ma'am?"

"Contact the Secretary of Culture immediately. I don't care how, just do it. I believe he's on Earth somewhere. Do it as fast as you can, tells him he needs to get off Earth as soon as possible and head to the Citadel."

"Er – yes ma'am. Can I ask why?"

"He happens to be the other member of the government left standing, and for better or worse he's the Deputy Prime Minister now. I need to talk to him about setting up a new Cabinet."

"At once, ma'am."

Inara looked around at the rest of her staff. A few years ago she had been an Undersecretary at the Alliance Department of State, attending largely inconsequential official functions with other dignitaries. A few months ago she had been informed by Prime Minister Shastri that he was nominating her to the position of Ambassador to the Citadel. A few weeks ago she had been invited by Fleet Admiral Hackett to join his little group of people who believed, against all odds, in Commander Shepard's warning. This morning she had woken up with little more to do than to speak to an asari cultural delegation. Right now, she was Prime Minister of the Alliance during the darkest period in humanity's history.

Later, when she was alone, she would grieve for all the people that she had lost, and for the crushing burden placed on her shoulders in the days to come. For now, she had a species to lead.

"Earth needs us, and we will not ignore her cry for help," said Inara, in a hard voice that would have surprised those who only saw the beautiful, elegant diplomat in her elaborate clothes. But her staff had grown to know her well, and knew that under the silk was true steel.

"Ladies and gentlemen, let's get to work."

**x**

**Alliance Vancouver Base**

**Vancouver, Canada**

**UNAS**

**Earth**

**x**

**John Kennedy Shepard**

**Spectre**

**Ex-Staff Commander of the Alliance Marines**

Something was different.

Garrus used to laugh at my 'gut instinct'. Probably because the bastard evolved from avians and never really had a proper gut in the first place, but he never really gave credence to my 'mammalian' sense for when something was in the air. As if I was going to take seriously the words of a guy whose ancestors had to swallow rocks to digest their food properly.

Tens of thousands of years of evolution had something to say about that, not to mention several additional years of gruelling, excruciating training in the Alliance Special Forces. I couldn't explain it to you if I had a pen and paper and a million years. But it was there all the same. People seemed to be moving faster. Other people were looking around more. Voices were raised. Tension was several degrees higher. Something was definitely different.

Instead of trying to find out exactly what it was, I stopped by my window and watched the little boy in the park outside play with his toy spaceship. He was wearing his usual baggy hoodie jacket and slightly-too-big jeans, and romped around like he hadn't a care in the world. I envied his ignorance.

The door alarm rang, alerting me that someone wished to open it. Deep down, I knew this was what I'd been waiting for.

"Come in."

James Vega walked in and saluted me. "Commander."

I stepped away from the window. "You know Lieutenant, you're not really supposed to call me that any more."

"Not supposed to salute you either. Sir," said Vega pointedly.

"What's up?"

"We gotta go. The Defence Committee wants to see you immediately."

"Sounds important," I said, tossing the datapad I had been reading on my bed. It was something about marine troop deployment in the colonies, and I hadn't been able to make head or tail of it. "Let's go."

The moment I stepped out of my room, the feeling intensified. A beehive of activity, all around us. Staffers and runners and guys with stripes on their shoulders rushing around, too intent on what they were doing to even slow down. Something was up.

"Why does the committee want to see me again?"

"Couldn't say. Just told me they wanted to see you right away."

The crowd in front of us parted somewhat, and I saw someone I hadn't seen in months walk up to me. Admiral Anderson, all decked out in his dress blues. His presence here on Earth meant that the Admiralty Board intended to start my trial soon. But why the Defence Committee? They hadn't had anything to do with me at all since I returned to Earth. I got the impression they'd rather stay out of politics and focus on the bigger picture. Which was fine, except they had shown no indication that they believed my account of the Reapers.

Was this my trial? Couldn't be, otherwise I'd be escorted by more soldiers than just Vega and there'd be every reporter on the face of the planet jockeying for space in the corridors. It had to be something else.

"Admiral Anderson," I greeted, shaking his outstretched hand.

"Admiral," said Vega with a salute. Anderson returned it, then turned to speak to me.

"You look good, Shepard. Maybe a little soft around the edges. How are you holding up since being relieved from duty?"

Anderson and I moved through the corridors like a pair of sharks navigating a crowded patch of sea, with Vega trailing behind.

"It's not so bad once you get used to the hot food and the soft beds," I joked.

"We'll soon put a stop to that," said Anderson.

"What's going on?" I asked. "Why is everyone in such a hurry?"

Anderson's tone grew serious. "Alliance Command received a priority message several hours ago from Fleet Admiral Hackett. He's mobilising the fleets stationed around Arcturus. Something big's headed our way."

"The Reapers?"

"We don't know," said Anderson. "Not for certain." Even at this moment he remained cautious, unwilling to commit himself until he had all the facts. I wasn't so burdened.

"What else could it be?"

"If I knew that..."

"If it is them, you know we're not ready. Not by a long shot."

"Tell that to the Defence Committee," said Anderson, continuing to walk to their chambers. "This might be the day when they open their eyes."

"Unless we're planning to talk the Reapers to death, the Committee deliberations are a waste of time," I said, passing by a gorgeous view of the Vancouver city skyline.

"They're just scared," explained Anderson. "None of them have seen what you seen. We've all read your reports, discussed your findings. But it's all just theory. You've been there, in the trenches. Fighting them. You know what we're up against."

"Is that why they grounded me? Took away my ship?" I asked sarcastically. Anderson stopped walking and gave me a pointed look.

"You know that's not true. The shit you've done, any other soldier in the Fleet would have been tried, court-martialled and shot. It's your knowledge of the Reapers that's kept that from happening."

"That and your good word?"

"Yes," said Anderson simply. "I trust you, Shepard. So do a lot of other people. Admiral Hackett and I have been working non-stop to convince the Committee to listen to you."

"I'm just a soldier, sir. I'm no politician."

"I don't need you to be either! I just need you to do whatever the hell it takes to help us stop those bastards," said Anderson, summing up his entire outlook on life in one succinct sentence.

We'd reached the lobby of the Committee chambers. A clerk looked up as we arrived.

"They're expecting you, Admiral," she said to Anderson.

"Good luck in there, sir," said Vega, as he stopped by the security check while the two of us were buzzed through.

I waved him goodbye, then turned around and had to stop myself from following Vega out of the place. Of all the people in the entire galaxy, I didn't expect Ashley Williams to be there in front of us. You know what they say about running into an ex-girlfriend in the most awkward of situations? It's nothing compared to running into her on the way to a meeting that might decide the fate of a planet.

Ash was wearing a nice blue suit and had let her hair grow out and fall loose to her shoulders. I felt all the old emotions rise up once again upon seeing her. I had loved her, centuries ago, and she had loved me. There was a lot of history between us, and not all of it had been bad. She looked good. Great, even. Not only more feminine, but more alert, like she was searching for something. I wondered what she was doing here on Earth.

"John?" she said, sounding nervous.

"Ashley?"

"Lieutenant-Commander," cut in Anderson. I was surprised. Ashley made LC? Jack had mentioned in one of her letters that she was thinking of resigning from the AIA and going back to the Marines, but she hadn't said anything about a promotion. Of course in my book, it was richly deserved.

"How did it go in there?" he asked. So, Ash had a meeting with the Committee too...

"I can never tell with them," she said. "I'm just waiting for orders now."

The clerk checked something off her list and gestured for us to go into the chambers. "Come on," said Anderson. I followed him, but I couldn't help looking back at Ash. She didn't say anything, but just nodded.

"You know the Commander?" asked someone behind me. Vega's voice.

Before I went in, the last thing I heard was Ashley's reply "I used to."

**xxxx**

The Defence Committee chambers were massive. A floor to ceiling window looked out onto the bay, flooding the room with the evening light. The Defence committee were gathered at a table, facing us. Anderson and I went up and stood in front of them. I felt like a bug in a spotlight. Every single person in the room was watching every move I made.

"Admiral Anderson. Spectre Shepard," greeted the Committee Chairman. I knew his name, Admiral Norman Brunwolf. He favoured me with a skeptical look that did nothing to instil me with confidence.

"What's the situation?" I asked immediately. Damn the protocol, I wanted to know exactly why I was here.

"We were hoping you could tell us," said the bald Admiral sitting beside him. Peter Thorne, said by many to be a genius at strategy. An assistant helpfully handed me a datapad.

"The reports coming in are unlike anything we've seen," said Admiral Rebecca Hastings, the third member of the Committee. "Whole colonies have gone dark. We've lost contact with everything beyond the Sol Relay since Fleet Admiral Hackett's priority transmission."

"Whatever this is," said Admiral Thorne, "It's incomprehensibly powerful."

"You brought me here to confirm what you and I both already know," I said, without looking at the datapad. "The Reapers are _here._"

There was a moment of shocked silence. I could hear a few gasps. Everything seem to hang frozen in the air for one impossibly long moment.

"Then," said Admiral Hastings at last. "How do we stop them?"

There it was. In the long years since I'd been away, in all the time since the Prothean Beacon burned its warning into my brain on that day at Eden Prime, the first official confirmation I've heard from a high-ranking Alliance officer that I was right, that I wasn't deranged or lying, that there was a greater enemy we should have been paying attention to all this while. It should have been a good moment for me, a moment of vindication and truth.

It wasn't.

Anderson and I exchanged a look. Imperceptibly, he had signalled that now was the time to let the Committee know everything that I had bottled up inside me all this time.

"Stop them? This isn't about strategy or tactics. This is about survival. The Reapers do not conform to any of the laws of war we have grown used to, or the playbook we've all learned from. They're more advanced than we are. More powerful, and more intelligent. They don't fear us, and they'll never take pity on us. They don't need a supply line or high morale or even a few hours of sleep. We _cannot _beat them using what we already know."

"But...there must be some way..." began Admiral Hastings, sounding shocked.

"If we're going to have any chance of surviving this, we have to stand together," I said. But before I could explain myself more, Admiral Thorne interrupted me.

"That's it?! That's our plan?"

I wanted to yell back that I wasn't done. That Earth hadn't a hope in hell doing this alone, that even if all thirteen billion of us spread out across the galaxy came together and worked with a single mind and a single purpose, it still wasn't enough. We needed the asari's knowledge and millenia of accumulated wisdom. We needed the salarian's ingenuity and technological wizardry. We needed the turians, dear God did we ever need the turians' discipline, their fighting spirit and their massive fleets. We needed the brutality of the krogans, the organisation of the volus, the stoicism of the elcor, the compassion of the hanar, the skill of the drell, hell, even the vorcha and the batarians and the rachni. We needed both sides of the quarian/geth conflict. We needed it _all. _Humanity could not go it alone. We had to have help from every corner of the galaxy, aid from people we once thought enemies. The Reapers were the greatest enemy any of us would ever face.

But I was cut off by a urgent, panic-stricken cry from one of the aides in the chamber, monitoring a signals station.

"Admirals, we've lost contact with Luna Base!"

"The moon?" said Anderson. He sounded like he'd been punched in the gut."They couldn't be that close already! Contact Admiral Lindholm of the First and Rear Admiral Fabianski of Fourth Fleet at once!"

"How did they get past our defenses?" said Admiral Hastings softly.

"Sir, UK headquarters in London has a visual!"

All of us watched the screen as a young man in the uniform of an Alliance marine yelled something made indecipherable by the radio static. From what I could see of the background, it didn't look good. There was rubble, and smoke. Suddenly an ear-piercing, gut-wrenching shriek rang out. There was the sound of an explosion, and the picture cut out, its signal lost.

Most of the room were wondering what the hell they'd just heard. I wasn't. I had heard it before, in my deepest, darkest nightmares. That was the cry of a Reaper.

The signal picked up again, but this time it wasn't from London. A dozen screens from both terrestrial and interplanetary news feeds, broadcasting the attack in all of its horror and fury. The Reapers were _everywhere. _They were blasting cities on every continent on Earth. Smoke rose from a million unchecked fires, screams were heard from a million throats as people tried to escape from the black armoured nightmares dropping out of the sky and setting buildings aflame. We stared, transfixed, at the horror show laid out before us.

They were here. This was it. No more waiting around, no more political mind games. The Reapers had invaded the homeworld.

"Why haven't we heard from Admiral Hackett?" Anderson asked me. I had no answer to give.

"What do we do?!" yelled Admiral Brunwolf. I tore myself away from the screen and marched closer to his desk. Now that question, I had an answer for.

"The only thing we can do. We fight. Or we die."

"We should get to the _Normandy,_" said Anderson. My ship was docked in Vancouver? Anderson had to have pulled some huge strings to get it moved here.

Before I could reply a loud, low, ominous rumble made all of us look around warily. It hadn't seemed to come from anywhere in particular. It seemed to blare from the very air around us, or perhaps our own minds.

Slowly, bit by bit, the light was blocked out by a massive dark tentacle attached to a being older than our entire civilisation. A Reaper hung in the sky above Vancouver. There was the same ear-shattering shriek once more, and a red beam of destruction lanced out and blew up a skyscraper in the time it takes for someone to stand up.

"Oh my God," whispered Admiral Hastings.

In the time before the world around us exploded, I only had the chance to bellow a single word.

"MOVE!"


	38. Leaving Earth

**Chapter 38 – Leaving Earth**

**John Kennedy Shepard**

**Spectre**

**Ex-Staff Commander of the Alliance Marines**

Vancouver was on fire.

I remember being taught in school that a long time ago, Seavac used to be three separate cities. Portland in Oregon, Seattle in Washington, and Vancouver in British Columbia. Vancouver was even in a separate country back then, Canada and the United States weren't unified yet. Megatropolises, as some journalists liked to call them, weren't uncommon. There was the Dallas-Fort Worth in Texas, and London had practically engulfed most of the English south coast.

Some people thought this trend of mega cities was erasing our individual culture and uniqueness. I'd always disagree. I thought it was a wonderful symbol of how we'd grown together as a society, how we could remain united despite our differences while looking up at the stars.

But the stars were where the Reapers came from. And they were setting Vancouver ablaze.

The shining spires of the city were torn off and sent crashing to the ground several stories below, killing hundreds with each sickening thud. Smoke rose from the unchecked fires, flames that were left unattended by an emergency service with no clue of what to do in an attack of this magnitude. There were...screams. Cries of despair, of terror and disbelief. This was the 22nd Century. We had mastered our planet after so very nearly killing ourselves countless times in the past. Humanity had solved the problems of climate change and resource management and yes, even discrimination to a huge extent. With aliens around, who cared that the guy next to you was black or Jewish or gay?

But the Reapers had come. And suddenly, all of us realised that those whom we thought of as aliens were not so different after all. We were all united in powerlessness and insignificance next to the might of the Reapers.

Vancouver had hundreds and hundreds of years of proud history. It was a glittering jewel, a lovely place to live and to grow up and raise a family. It was a triumph of engineering and architecture, art and science, the very best of human ingenuity and skill. Millions of man hours and dollars and resources had been poured into transforming a forested patch of land beside the sea into a place where people could settle, billions more into maintaining it over the years.

But the Reapers...

They were smashing it all to bits in a matter of minutes. Firing their massive lasers indiscriminately, with no clear pattern or goal than wanton destruction. Facing absolutely no resistance as they slaughtered defenceless men, women and children. The Alliance always maintained one standing fleet in orbit around Earth, as well as another one guarding the Charon Relay. For the Reapers to be here now...both fleets never stood a chance.

I was a spacer kid. Always had been, always would be. I never felt right unless I was on board a ship, traveling through the stars. But part of what made it great was the knowledge there was always an Earth to come back to. When you were out in the black, eating synthesized food and breathing recycled air, what made it a little more bearable was the fact that there was a shining city on the hill somewhere far behind you, a blue and green place where you could always call home.

But the Reapers had forever shattered that illusion, that sense of security. Vancouver was on fire, and so was the rest of the world. I don't know if I would live to see it be made whole once more.

"Come on, Shepard! Williams is en route to the _Normandy, _they'll pick us up at the landing zone!"

Admiral Anderson had survived the blast that had taken out most of the Defence Committee. The room's exit was blocked by debris, so we'd crawled out of the floor-to-ceiling window that suddenly had a huge gaping hole in it and clambered onto the outer walls of the building. I'd stopped for a moment to look out over the Vancouver skyline. It might be...no, there wasn't a doubt in my mind that this would be the last time anyone would ever see it again.

"Oscar mike, soldier!" roared Anderson.

I broke out of my funk and started hustling. The wind roared around us, nearly knocking me off my feet. At this height, I'd be a little more than a fine mist when I hit the ground. I focused on Anderson in front of me. The old man had wonderful balance, for someone of his injury record and age. He was running flat out, not caring that one missed step would lead to certain death.

"Look out!"

A couple of drones buzzed right past us, only to get vaporised by a massive blast that had to come directly from a Reaper. Anderson shielded himself from the flying debris, then leapt up onto a higher platform. I followed him, trying not to draw back too far from the fire that had started and lose my balance.

"How do you stop something so powerful?!" yelled Anderson.

"We hit it till it drops!" I yelled back.

"What with?"

"A fucking moon, if I could. Maybe the turians will think of something."

We leapt across a broken section of the walkway and kept moving. A Reaper in the distance turned and took aim at a cruise ship in the harbour lazily, almost insolently. The entire thing blew up and I swore in shock.

Anderson wasn't paying attention, he was trying to reach someone on his communicator.

"Lieutenant Commander, do you copy? I'm patching in Shepard."

There was a burst of static, and then I heard a voice that I knew so well.

" -in control of the _Normandy. _Lieutenant Vega's with me, but we're taking heavy fire!"

"That sounds bad," muttered Anderson, as Ashley's line was cut off. "We'd better – HUSKS!"

But I had already trained my pistol on them before Anderson finished his warning, and was drilling holes in them with the terrifying ease born of relentless practice. The glowing blue soulless mockery of human beings went down after I blew their heads off with repeated, pinpoint shots.

"Good, you haven't forgotten how to shoot," said Anderson, with some admiration.

I was breathing heavily, not from the run but from the sheer adrenaline rush of being in combat once more. Those husks were the first enemy I had faced in a long time, ever since I gave myself up to Hackett and the Alliance. It felt good to know I hadn't missed a step.

"Come on, we need to find a way out of here," I said. We had ran from the Alliance HQ onto the balcony of an apartment block. The entire floor was gutted and burned out by Reaper fire, and the door was jammed. Briefly wishing Tali was with me, that girl could hack anything in the known universe apart, I set my hands on the door edges and heaved them apart wide enough for Anderson to squeeze through.

But before I could follow, I heard something that made me stop and turn around. A sound that I've heard before on occasion, something that I would never want to hear again. It was a child, sobbing in despair. I looked around, forgetting Anderson for a moment. The sound seemed to be coming from a ventilation duct.

Sinking to my knees, I peered inside. "Hello? Anyone there?"

I kind of figured it was a kid, only a child would be small enough and dumb enough to figure that a ventilation duct would be a good place to hide during an emergency. But I wasn't expecting it to be the very same kid I had spent the last few months watching from my window in Alliance HQ.

The same brown hair, the same big, dark eyes, the same baggy hoodie and scuffed shoes. He looked utterly terrified.

"Hey," I said, in the calmest voice I could manage while the Reapers burned flesh and broke steel all around us. "Are you hurt?"

He backed away from me like some small wounded animal. "Everyone's dying!" he said, in a voice full of fear.

"Look, I can help you, but you need to trust me. Come on. Take my hand," I said, reaching mine out, trying to push away all the fear and doubt and the shock of seeing the Reapers burn Vancouver out of my mind. Strangely enough, it worked. Here was one lone boy who needed help, and I could give it to him. I could focus on a problem like that, and shut everything else out.

"You can't help me," he said, sounding resigned.

"Shepard! Over here!" It was Anderson, noticing my absence. My head had snapped towards the sound of his voice, but when I looked back into the duct, the boy was gone.

I backed away, suddenly unsure of my grip on reality. This could be another one of Morinth's tricks. But she hadn't spoken to me since the Bahak system. Trying not to think too hard about it, I dashed off after the admiral.

"This is a goddamn mess!" he yelled, shifting some rubble and twisted metal aside. He ducked under a broken piece of concrete, trying not to dislodge the thing and send it all crashing on our heads.

"Every minute those machines are here millions of people will die!"

"We've got to do what we can. Arm every human who can aim a gun. Get everyone into the fight. We owe it to our dead to make sure we survive."

"If only the Council had listened to us..."

"It's too late for that now."

"I thought we'd have more time," said Anderson, a bit more quietly, crawling through the ruined apartment. "Hackett thought we'd have more time. They hit us so fast."

"Hackett had every fleet on standby."

"And they still cut through all our defenses like a hot knife! We've never faced anything like this in our entire history."

A jutting metal spar snagged my trousers, ripping a small hole in it. But my clothes were the last thing on my mind.

"When we get to the Normandy, what's the next step?"

"We need to get to the Citadel," said Anderson. "Convince the Council to send us help."

"The Citadel? The fight's right here!"

"It'll be everywhere soon enough. You said it yourself, the Reapers will blow up the whole galaxy if we don't stop them. The Council has to help us, it's in their own self-interest."

We had reached the very edge of the apartment floor. The only way to get to safer ground was to shimmy along a narrow ledge. The bad news was that there was a long, dark drop in front of us if we lost our balance. I had never had a good head for heights, and my heart sank when I saw there was no other option. But it was the only way to get back to my ship.

"You sure they'll see sense, even now?" I said, carefully shuffling my feet sideways.

"You were a Council Spectre. We've got a seat. That has to count for something."

There was an ominous boom somewhere we couldn't see, and the resulting shockwave nearly knocked me off the ledge and out of the game for good. Luckily Anderson had pretty good reflexes for an old man, and hauled me back up.

"Thanks," I said, my heart racing. "I owe you one."

"More than one," said Anderson, his humour masking his relief.

I felt sunshine on my face after reaching the end of the ledge, Vancouver Bay was in sight. So were the capital class Reaper ships hovering above it. Each one looked as massive as Sovereign was. Anderson wasn't deterred, however. After one burning look, he took off in the direction of the landing zone.

"Lieutenant Commander!" he said, hailing Ashley. "We're en route to the LZ, ETA 3 minutes. What's your situation?"

"We've made it to the _Normandy, _but we're still taking heavy fire. We're holding out the best we can – oh God!" said Ash, sounding horrified. "That dreadnought, the Reapers are going to blow it out of the sky!"

Anderson eyes widened. "That's Stanislaw's ship. He wouldn't leave his lines unless...unless Fourth Fleet is gone," he whispered, seemingly to himself.

"L-C? Ashley!" I yelled. But there was no reply.

"They're in trouble. We'd better...LOOK OUT!"

The imposing dreadnought that I now recognised as the flagship of the Fourth Fleet was lit up bright red for a second as three Reapers trained their main guns on it. A flash of light so bright it burned through my closed eyes, and an almighty explosion as every hand on deck lost their lives in an instant.

The explosion rocked the precarious, half-ruined platform which we were standing on, sending us tumbling almost into the bay. We must have fell five stories, I hit the ground and felt a rib crack, sending a bright flare of pain lancing through my side.

"Jesus!" I hissed, doubling over in agony.

Anderson either didn't have the time or didn't care, he was too busy trying to contact Ashley.

"Williams, we are going to re-route! Williams, do you copy?"

But all we heard was static.

"Damnit," swore Anderson. Now then he noticed my distress. "Alright, Commander?"

"Nothing...I can't handle," I grunted, trying not to breathe too hard. Or at all.

Anderson quickly went back to business. "We need to get to a transmitter or something that will punch through this signal jam. Without the _Normandy, _we're not getting out of here alive."

I looked around the bay. The Reapers were looming over us, firing their guns and flattening the Vancouver skyline. I had a brief flashback to when I was a kid, spending hours carefully building a castle out of blocks and smashing the whole thing to bits in seconds. Flaming wreckage littered the landscape, their smoking hulls marking their final resting place. But it did give me an idea.

"We can get to one of those downed ships," I said. "Use their distress beacon and modify it so that the _Normandy _recognises us."

"How are we going to do that?"

"Let me do it," I said, thinking of something EDI had taught me a long time ago. How to encode a distress signal so that she, and only she could recognise it. Even here, even now, and even with Anderson, a man I trusted with my life, I wasn't quite ready to give up the secret of EDI's existence as an illegal AI just yet. I owed Anderson, a debt that perhaps could never be truly repaid. I knew he'd lay down his life for me, and vice versa. But when you got right down to it, Anderson wasn't part of my crew. EDI was. And above all else, I was the captain of the Normandy. Everything else came after that fact.

The admiral looked at me sideways. Perhaps he was remembering that I had managed to score among the lowest in the entire cohort in my signals and communications class during my time at the Academy. But he'd learned to trust me.

"Lead the way, then."

Dodging chunks of burning shrapnel and energy blasts from on high, Anderson and I had reached a crashed police gunship, a small two-seater craft. Like all other Earth cities, Seavac had little in the way of actual defences. Everyone looked to the fleets for their protection.

My bruised rib won out over Anderson's age, and he'd reached the vehicle first.

"Anyone make it?" I called, knowing the answer before I asked the question. Anderson shook his head.

"Both dead. But the distress beacon looks intact."

I pulled myself over to it and began interfacing the system with my omni-tool. When I was sure Anderson's back was turned, looking out for danger, I keyed in the code that EDI had shown me, praying it would work.

**x**

**Bridge  
The _Normandy_**

**x**

During flight training, a common simulation was escaping one of Earth's spaceports while under attack from an invasion force. There were a couple of big differences between that and what was happening at the moment, however. First of all, the programmers had coded turian ships as the 'enemy', and batarian ships in a later patch. While tough, they weren't a fleet of hundred foot tall Reapers who could tear down a skyscraper as easily as krogan could club a baby seal.

Second of all, the objective of the training sim was to _escape _the spaceport, taking as little damage as possible. Nobody had said anything about weaving in and out, trying to avoid both civilian craft and Reaper blasts, and hanging around waiting for the ship's captain to make himself visible.

"DAMNIT!" yelled Ashley, whacking her communicator. Absolutely nothing happened. "I lost their signal!"

"We can't just leave the Commander down there," said Vega immediately. Joker had never seen Vega in his life, but he found himself agreeing with the big marine. He did have one question however.

"How the hell are we going to find Shepard in this unholy mess?" he asked. "I have my hands full trying not to get us blasted out of the sky!"

"Flight Lieutenant Moreau, there is something which should be brought to your attention," said EDI. In deference to their new guests, her stilted speech and formal manner was to help her disguise as nothing more than another VI.

"What is it, EDI?"

"I am picking up a unique distress signal. I believe it is coming from Captain Shepard." A real VI would have recognised that Shepard had been discharged, and therefore referred to solely as the Normandy's captain. EDI was playing her part well.

"You sure?"

"Yes, Flight Lieutenant."

"What's their location?" asked Ashley.

"The signal is coming from a downed gunship near the harbour. ETA five minutes, assuming Mr Moreau does not get us vaporised in the meantime."

Ashley gave the glowing blue orb that represented the ship's AI an odd look, but then turned to Joker.

"Can you get us there?"

"Yes," said Joker shortly.

"Alright, let's go! We need to pick up John and Anderson and haul ass!"

"Aye aye, Lieutenant Commander."

**x**

**Vancouver Bay**

**Earth**

**x**

"Is that signal still working?" called Anderson over his shoulder.

"Yes sir."

"Grab a weapon and come up here. I've got bunch of incoming, twelve o'clock!"

I took up a position next to Anderson and squinted in the direction he indicated. My first thought was husks, like the ones we had fought off earlier. But they looked different. Definitely bigger. And much more dangerous. They kinda looked like what you'd get if you fused two husks together. I knew it wasn't beyond the Reapers to actually do what other people only had nightmares about.

"What the hell are those things?"

"Looks like the Reapers aren't content to simply burn Earth to the ground with orbital bombardment," said Anderson grimly. "If they're sending in ground troops, they must have a reason."

"Harvesting us," I said, feeling sick to my stomach. "Making more Reapers."

"Just like what you saw in the Collector Base. They're going to take every man woman and child on this planet and turned them into one of their own."

"Like hell they are," I said, mentally marking out a line of fire with a fallen metal strut. Anything beyond that, I would ignore while anything that went past it would be shot with immediate effect.

"Still wish you were pushing pencils, Admiral?"

Anderson laughed. "I know the world's gone to hell...but I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss the fieldwork."

The shambling horrors may have been bigger than husks, and they took more punishment, but they went down in a hail of fire just the same. Anderson was that rare entity, a flag rank officer who had considerable experience in the front lines, and who hadn't neglected his marksmanship when the time came for him to be stationed behind a desk. He was matching me, shot for shot, and we were keeping the monster husks away. But we were also running out of ammo.

"I wish we'd stuck to the old weapon design," I said, after blowing off two of my target's three heads.

"The heat sink sidearms? Never liked them myself. I grew up on ammo clips. Never felt right waiting for your weapon to 'cool down'. It's a gun, not a damn cup of tea."

The things were actually firing back at us, although they didn't appear to be carrying any weapons. In fact their gun seemed to be grafted on to an arm. With husks you could take up a steady firing position, knowing you had a few seconds before they could even touch you. But these things could shoot back.

"Duck!"

"Thanks."

I peered around the fallen chunk of office building that served as my makeshift barricade, and saw something revolting. The monster husk I had shot was _eating _the dead body of another one. Even as I watched, chitinous armour began to form around its limbs and torso, almost spontaneously.

"Christ they're eating each other," I muttered. I didn't want to think what would happen if they came across a group of unarmed civilians.

Anderson took a shot, and then ducked back down. "John, tell me I'm not seeing things. Take a good look at their heads before you blow it off."

I did as he asked, and saw what he must have seen as well. "Four eyes? You don't think..."

"This was top-secret, but Khar'shan went dark a few weeks ago. I'm talking absolutely zero communication, no sigint whatsoever. The brass were up in arms, thinking it was the start of an invasion."

"It was the start of a damn invasion," I snarled. "But not by the batarians. Although it looks like they made it to Earth all the same."

I felt like throwing up. Even though I had cause to hate the batarians, no one deserved what must have happened to them. No matter how isolationist Khar'shan was, their immediate reaction had to be to seek help. The fact that they didn't meant that their entire Hegemony had been dismantled, quickly and clinically, in a matter of weeks.

But empires rose and empires fell. Very rarely did the conqueror stitch together the dead bodies of his victims to use as shock troops in his next campaign of conquest. I hoped the batarians were dead, animated by the foul Reaper science I didn't and refused to understand. I didn't want to think about them still alive in the shambling horrors somewhere, screaming with a mouth that didn't belong to them any longer.

As I continued to shoot more of those cannibals, I was struck by a frightening thought. If Earth fell, they would do exactly the same to us.

My gun fired dry, and I snapped in the last clip. Anderson had changed his style of shooting too, he wasn't firing steadily but picking his shots. He had to be running low as well. If we ran out...one old admiral and one injured marine wouldn't last long against the horde of cannibals.

Sixteen rounds...eleven...six...one...

I sent my last bullet directly into the face of an oncoming cannibal and instinctively moved back a couple of steps. But there wasn't a way out, just a pile of rubble. I thought of Jack, and how she was always, always at my back in times like these, of the many times when I thought I was done for good and she would pull out an absolute rabbit from her hat and save the day with a stunning display of biotic power.

"Sweetheart, I wish to God you were here with me," I said to myself, charging up my omni-tool. It could be used to create a hard light construct that functioned pretty much like a spiked glove. I could maybe take out two or three of the cannibals without it before dying.

And then...a miracle. A sound that I had spent half my career hoping against hope to hear. The roar of an engine and rushing wind that represented hope, that I could stare death in the face and say 'Not today'.

The _Normandy._

It streaked high above us, launching a couple of missiles. They impacted perfectly on target, blowing up the ravening horde of cannibals.

"The cavalry's here, gentlemen!" yelled Joker in my ear, sounding like he always did, cocky and carefree.

"About damn time!" said Anderson.

The _Normandy _wheeled around and came in for a landing. Its sleek white black and white hull glinted in the sunlight off Vancouver Bay. Right then and there, she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. And she was all mine.

"Let's go!"

I took off, ignoring the pain in my chest, running up concrete and twisted steel and taking a flying leap, landing perfectly on the loading ramp. Ashley was there to grab my hand and pull me up, her long black hair whipping around in the wind.

"Welcome back, John," she said. Our faces were inches away from each other.

"Thanks Ash," I said quietly. But she heard, and she smiled. I smiled back and turned around.

"Come on Admiral, let's go!"

Anderson was hanging back. Looking at the expression on his face, I realised with a sinking heart that he wasn't going to accompany me.

"I'm not going," he shouted, above the roar of the _Normandy's _engines.

"Why not?!"

Anderson tilted his head to the side, where we could see an emergency evac shuttle zip past with a bunch of civilians on board. "I can't leave Earth behind. Alliance Command is shot to hell, and if there isn't some kind of command structure in place, the planet's going to descend into total anarchy. Those people need someone to guide them."

"Why do you have to be that guy?" I yelled. "Get on board!"

"There's no one else," he said, and I knew he was right.

"Let me stay instead," I said, almost begging, ignoring Ashley's gasp of surprise.

"You have a job to do elsewhere," said Anderson. "We can't win this on our own, you know that. We're going to need every species out there, and everything they own that can fly. The entire galaxy just got conscripted for the fight of their lives. Talk to the Council. Convince them of what they need to do."

"What if they don't listen?"

"Then make them listen!" yelled Anderson. "Now go, and that's an order!"

"I don't take orders from you any more, remember?" I said, knowing it was hopeless, knowing in my heart that this would be the last time I would see the greatest mentor I ever had.

Anderson reached into his pocket, and tossed me something. I caught it in one hand. It was my Alliance-issue dogtags, the same ones I was given on my first day at the Academy, the same ones that were hanging around my neck when I went through the N7 training and held off the Skyllian Blitz and fought Saren, the ones that were taken from me when I came back to Earth.

"Consider yourself reinstated...Commander!"

He tossed me something else, and I caught it too. It was my Star of Terra award. I had given it back to Anderson when the Alliance first discharged me. They didn't want me, didn't need me then. But now I knew it was time to come back.

"And that's a reminder that you've been through worse shit and survived!"

"I'll be back for you," I promised. "And I'll bring every fucking fleet in the galaxy with me." I saluted the admiral. "Easy day, sir."

He smiled, and saluted back. "You too, John."

I radioed Joker to take off, and as the ship lifted off and began to rise, I kept my eyes fixed on the figure in the dark dress blues, already moving towards the next target, the next mission. The biggest one of all, to lead a global wide resistance against the apocalypse itself.

Tall order for any man. But the admiral wasn't just another man.

Joker began to take off, and I saw more evac shuttles swooping in to pick up panicking civilians. Then incredibly, I saw the young boy with the big hoodie jacket and brown hair. How the heck had he made it from the ventilation duct from several stories up to the harbour below? It didn't seem possible.

He looked at me, even though I was so far away, and I felt a chill go down my spine.

Then he climbed up into the shuttle, which took off. Go, I urged them on. Get out of here. Find shelter. Find safety.

Then, the Reaper. Looming behind. Taking aim.

Blasting the shuttles apart.

The flaming wreckage crashing into the bay. No one could have survived that. No one.

The loading ramp snapped shut, as we prepared to leave Earth's atmosphere. The _Normandy _shot past clouds, satellites, and things that looked like burning meteors, hurtling towards Earth. That was all that was left of Fourth Fleet, with her Admiral dead before my eyes.

Ash laid a hand on my arm. She knew what I was thinking, that it would be useless to ask how I was. Instead all she said was "We'll come back. We'll come back and end this."

I held her hand, grateful for her support right then. I knew we were over. But we also had history. No matter what, Ash was still my friend, and one of the closest I ever had. And more importantly? She was part of my crew.

"We will. And nothing's going to stand in my way when we do."


	39. The Library of Mars

**Chapter 39 – The Library of Mars**

Rest in peace, James Gandolfini. I'll miss your unbelievable talent on screen.

**x**

**Cargo Bay  
The _Normandy_  
x**

Despite the pain from my bruised rib that made me gasp after taking every step, despite the fact that I would never see Admiral Anderson alive ever again, despite the knowledge that I was abandoning my home planet to the tender mercy of the Reapers, I was feeling...better.

As I limped towards the control panel located near the elevator, I felt a sense of relief. The lightening of the load on my shoulders, the steadying of the ground beneath my feet. And I knew why.

I was back on the _Normandy, _my ship. My true home. It was here where I was meant to be. I had missed the _Normandy _during my long months in captivity, missed it almost as much as I missed sleeping next to Jack. The hum of her engines, the subtle sense of weightlessness despite the ship's artificial gravity, reminding you that you were flying through the stars. The captain and her ship were together once more. I was glad to be back.

Ashley and I weren't alone in the cargo bay however. A big marine built like a Mack truck was striding towards me. I recognised him. Vega, the soldier assigned to watch me in Vancouver HQ. Although he seemed friendly enough, I knew his real job was to monitor me to make sure that I wasn't a spy for Cerberus.

"What the hell's going on?" he demanded roughly. "Where's Anderson? Where are we going?"

However, I didn't feel quite comfortable enough to answer so many questions at once. I shoved past him and stepped up to the console. Vega didn't like that one bit.

"Hey! I'm talking to you!"

"We're leaving," I snapped.

"Leaving?" repeated Vega in disbelief. Ash answered for me instead.

"Anderson wants us to go to the Citadel. Get help for the fight," she said.

"Bullshit! Anderson would never order us to leave, not right now!"

"We don't have a choice, Vega!" I said. "We can't fight those bastards alone. Without the Council's help this war's already over."

"Forget it," snarled Vega. "Drop me off someplace, right now. Because _I'm_ notleaving."

"Enough!" I said, my voice raised. "Don't you think I'd rather stay and fight? But I've got a job to do, and Anderson told me to get it done, and I'm damn well making sure I'm doing it. We're going to the Citadel. You can catch a ride back to Earth once we're there."

Vega looked like he wanted to say more, but maybe he saw something in my eyes or heard something in my voice that warned him I wasn't to be pushed, not at the moment. He snapped his mouth shut and stalked off. Ignoring him, I activated the console.

"Commander!" yelled the voice that had saved Anderson and I from being ripped apart by cannibals.

"Joker?" I said, a wide smile on my face. I had missed my excellent helmsman. "That was the save of the century, down there."

"No need to recommend me for another medal, the ones I've already got make it difficult to walk. Oh yeah, there's an emergency transmission from Fleet Admiral Hackett for you."

"Patch it through, Moreau," I said. Hackett was still alive, that was already better news than I expected. Although I was wary of what other news he'd bring me. Ashley was at my side, her presence enough to calm down my growing disquiet.

"Aye aye sir."

Hackett's face flickered to life before me, static preventing a clear picture. His voice was distorted as well, but at least it was audible. However, not even the distortion to completely obscure his shell-shocked expression. Hackett looked like a man who had gone ten rounds with the world heavyweight boxing champion. But he was alive, and in the brave new world we were in, post-Reaper invasion, that was the most any of us could hope for.

"...Shepard!...heavy losses...force was overwhelming...no way we can defeat them conventionally," buzzed the image of Hackett, sounding almost like a geth.

"Admiral Anderson's already ordered me to the Citadel, to report directly to the Council," I said.

Right now, I had one job to do. I was going to do it. Other jobs might follow that one, but they could be put on hold. Immediately after meeting with the Council, no matter what their response was, I was taking my ship and heading directly for the Jon Grissom Academy above Elysium. No power in the verse was going to keep me from my Jackie.

"First I need you...Alliance outpost on Mars...before we lose control of the Sol system," said Hackett, and I realised this was going to take more time than I had hoped.

"...researching the Prothean archives with Dr. Liara T'soni...may have found a way to defeat the Reapers...may be the only way."

Liara was in the neighbourhood? Anderson didn't tell me that. While it didn't surprise me that she was doing a bit of research in the Prothean archives on Mars, this sudden revelation that she might have been able to find some way of stopping the Reapers seemed a little far-fetched to me. After all, as far as we knew, no species had ever managed to defeat the Reapers for billions of millennia. The idea that Liara found a way within a few months was too much to hope for.

Then again, what else did I have to lose? And it'd be nice to see another of my friends again.

I saluted Hackett, acknowledging his order. However there was something I had to ask him first. "Aye aye sir. Sir, before I leave, is Rear Admiral Shepard alright?"

Hackett nodded. "Your mother is safe, Commander...will send you a personal message shortly. One last thing. You are hereby promoted to the rank of Major in the System Alliance Marine Corps with immediate effect. Congratulations, Major Shepard."

I was shocked. "What? On whose authority?"

Hackett smiled, but one marked with sadness. "Former Prime Minister of the Alliance, Amul Shastri. One of his last orders to me. Your dishonourable discharge is hereby expunged from the records. In addition, you are the recognised commanding officer of the SSV _Normandy_...contact you soon. Hackett out."

Ashley clapped me on the back. "Well, well. You finally made Major, and you're the official captain of this ship. Congratulations."

"Thanks Ash," I said. I had dreamed of making Major for years, one of the highest field ranks the Marine Corps could bestow upon a soldier. After the Skyllian Blitz I knew people were whispering that I could be one of the youngest ever to make Major, even General someday. That stopped after working with Cerberus, of course, but I still never quite gave up hope. I knew my mum would be proud, and I was looking forward to reading her letter and sending one back.

In fact, the only thing that stopped me from doing a little happy dance was the sure and certain knowledge that if Jack were here, she'd smack me upside the head for being such a goddamn boy scout. Instead, I punched in the communicator.

"Joker, this is the captain. Set a course for the Gutenberg Archives on Mars."

"Mars?" said Joker doubtfully. "Roger that, sir."

"This is loco!" cut in Vega. He hadn't disappeared after all, but had just retreated to a corner of the room. "Why Mars?"

"What does Liara think she found over there?" asked Ash.

"I don't know," I said, to the pair of them. "But if it helps us to win this war, it's worth a detour. Grab your gear, both of you. We're going to pick up Dr. T'soni. Prepare for the field."

**x**

**Approaching: Gutenberg Archives**

**Lovell Station, Mars**

**Sol System**

**x**

Mars, the Red Planet. The fourth rock from the sun.

For decades, Mars had been the Holy Grail for supporters of space travel. Sure we had landed on the moon, and sent a few unmanned probes to Mars, conspicuously failing to find any traces of liquid water or little green men. It didn't matter. Mars was the true final frontier, the test that we had to pass if we were serious about making it to the stars. To land a squad of men and women on our nearest planetary neighbour and bring them back safely again was to be the first step on a long, gruelling road to explore the rest of the galaxy.

NASA kept pushing and pushing for a manned mission, backed by celebrity scientific heavyweights like Degrasse Tyson and Sagan and their supporters, until a Congressional Bill for the approval of a manned mission to Mars was signed by President Panetta. It wasn't without its hitches, and the international cooperation aspect of the whole thing nearly died during the Taiwan Crisis. But NASA never lost sight of their goal, and finally a combined UNAS-People's Republic-European Union-Indian Republic-Russian Federation-State of Japan mission made it to the Red Planet. A fantastic milestone and achievement for the human race as a whole.

Mars was to be our stepping stone on the road to the heavens. And it was, but in a way that not even in our wildest dreams we could have ever imagined. It was on Mars that we discovered the Prothean data cache. The cache pointed us towards the Charon Relay, the First Contact War, and the rest was history. Recent history.

After discovering shedloads of new worlds out there, teeming with resources and fantastical wildlife and ecological marvels beyond description, Mars with its endless deserts and lifeless rocky mountain ranges didn't seem very exciting or mysterious as it once did. Still, there was a sizeable scientific research community and a few lone settlers who for some reason wanted to leave Earth behind. Mostly guys with fearsome ex-wives. There was even a nut who liked to put on a green suit, a blue cape, and go around scaring people while calling himself 'the Manhunter'. The _Daily Show _had a running thing for a while where they would screen regular interviews with him.

Leaving the crazies aside, someone had the bright idea of using part of Mars as a data storage archive. Partly because it was near the Prothean data cache for easy archival and recording, and partly because the arid atmosphere of Mars meant less water damage to sensitive equipment. The Gutenberg Archives were created, with heavy charitable donations funding its construction, and became a haven for the Prothean stuff we weren't quite willing to hand over to the Citadel and the Council. For an academic with a serious love of Prothean culture and history, it would have been heaven for Liara.

But that was the old Liara. The Liara who much preferred spending a quiet fifty years or so in a tomb all to herself, sifting through rubble and deciphering ancient languages. The new Liara, the one who had risked her life to recover my dead body, was the Shadow Broker now. She was the clandestine supreme master of a million intelligence networks. What drove her to leave that and come to Mars? I had a feeling I was going to find out.

A set of armour had been set out on a nearby equipment bench. It had been a long time since I had the chance to put on Alliance issue armour. I did it slowly, making sure each piece snapped in right. I saved the chestpiece for last, running my thumb over the familiar N7 logo. I checked my weapons again, then radioed Joker.

"Joker, what's our status?"

"No problems so far. Preparing to dock at Lovell Station. But I've been trying to raise Mars on secure channels. No one's answering."

"EDI?" I asked, knowing she might be able to pick up anything Joker had missed.

"The base appears to be online. It's possible that the inhabitants were evacuated," replied the AI.

"Well, we'll know soon enough," I said. "Be ready in case I need you."

"Aye aye, sir."

"Are you alright with flying with a skeleton crew?" When Ashley and Vega had gone to hijack the _Normandy, _only Joker was nearby. There wasn't another soul on board except the four of us and EDI.

"EDI's handling things for now, but we should get help ASAP," said Joker.

"Roger that. See you in a bit, helmsman."

Vega and Ashley appeared in the cargo bay, each of them suited and booted. Although Ashley had a penchant for using huge assault rifles, Vega's weapon was even bigger. I smirked, thinking that Mordin would have a field day with that bit of psycho-analysis. I didn't know the Lieutenant from Adam. I'd considered ordering him to stay on board the ship. But we were going into a potentially dangerous situation, and I might need additional firepower. Besides, he could pilot shuttles (somewhat) and that was something I preferred to let other people do.

"Lieutenant, Lieutenant-Commander. We need to retrieve Dr. T'soni and any other artifacts from the Gutenberg Archives if necessary, at her request. Although she is an academic, she has impressive biotic abilities and can handle herself in a fight. Accordingly she is to be treated as a fellow combatant, and not a civilian in standard operating procedure," I said, mostly for Vega's benefit. Ashley knew all about what Liara was capable of. "Understood?"

"Yes sir," said Vega neutrally. The man seemed like a professional, at least. At least he'd follow orders.

"Yes, Major Shepard," said Ashley.

"Alright then. Take the helm, Lieutenant Vega. We're going down to Mars."

**x**

**Gutenberg Archives**

**Lovell Station, Mars**

**Sol System**

**x**

Viewed from the shuttle, Lovell Station resembled a giant starfish, with long 'arms' that were really train tracks leading to a central hub. Its shiny grey-and-white metal surface finish stood out starkly against the bleak red dust that made up the Martian landscape. I had seen pictures of it a couple of times, mostly in newsfeeds or whatever. It looked lonely, but I did know there was a sizeable community on the base, both Alliance personnel and civilian scientists and researchers. For them to go radio dark, especially at a time like this, was worrying. I hoped like hell that EDI was right and they had evacuated when they saw the Reapers roll past them on their way to Earth.

"Still no contact from the base, but we've got a massive dust storm headed our way," reported Vega, after landing the shuttle.

"How long do we have?"

"Half hour, tops. After that, we're gonna have difficulty keeping up comms with the Normandy."

"Oh goody, now it's time sensitive," quipped Ashley. I knew she hated deadlines, of any kind. "I love those."

"Let's go, we're burning daylight. Move out," I said.

The shuttle door popped and I took a step on the surface of Mars. I also withdrew my pistol from its holster and flipped the safety switch. Couldn't be too careful, not with the Reapers and God knew what else around. The sun's harsh glare filled my helmet's visor, but a massive swirling vortex of dust could be seen in the distance.

"Man, that's a massive storm," muttered Vega over his communicator. "It looks even bigger in person."

"Come on LT, it's not that bad," said Ashley.

"Doesn't mean it can't kill us, LC."

"I'm more worried about the war back on Earth...or the fact that no one here's answering our calls," she replied.

"Fair enough."

We moved closer to the base. There was something odd, and after a while I realised exactly what. Crates of supplies and ammunition were strewn all over the place, when they should have been promptly brought inside and redistributed. My sense of unease grew stronger.

"What's that?"

A man was sitting with his back to a crate, unmoving. We ran over to check, but it was obvious he had been dead for some time.

"Sergeant Reeves, Alliance Marines," muttered Ashley, checking his identification. "Doesn't look like he put up a fight."

"Something's not right here," growled Vega. He sounded as creeped out as I felt.

"Keep a low profile until we can confirm what's going on," I ordered. We headed towards the base, and we were about fifty metres from the entrance when I spotted movement.

"Down!"

Vega and Ash ducked immediately, and I sidled up to a crate. Before I could peer around it, the three of us heard the sound of a gunshot, as clear as day. I risked a look, and saw a man falling to his knees, then crumpling in a bloody heap. The other man who had shot him was wearing bulky combat armour and a logo stamped on his shoulder that I recognised right away and made Ashley hiss with furious recognition.

"Cerberus," we said together.

"They just shot him in cold blood!" said Vega, sounding enraged. "We gotta do something."

Taking my time, I holstered my pistol and drew my Widow sniper rifle instead, wordlessly ordering the other two to do the same with hand signals. In a verse full of electrical signals and VIs and AIs who could intercept communications no matter how strong you thought your encryption was, the Alliance academy still emphasised a strong focus on hand signals. They were quick and quiet, and still got the point across just as well.

It was all coming back to me, not only leading my crew into combat against Cerberus, but leading Alliance-trained marines against Cerberus. It had been far too long. On one hand, I missed the unbelievable power of the motley crew that I brought to bear against the Collectors. Jack's raw power, Grunt's ferocity, Mordin's evil genius, Miranda's icy determination and Thane's killer instinct, it was a force capable of overwhelming almost anything in the verse. On the other, they lacked that unshakeable discipline and perfect coordination that came with leading Alliance trained soldiers into battle.

Against the Collectors, I sometimes felt like a cowboy trying to rein in a bucking bronco, or a gunner on an old-time warship, struggling to aim a huge and heavy cannon at the enemy. I had incredible firepower at my disposal, but it was hard sometimes to make it all work efficiently.

Ash and Vega felt less like other marines and more like extensions of one unified squad. I could more or less predict how they would react or perform in any given situation, even if I had never worked with Vega before this. Of course there was the downside as well, in that there was less room for spontaneity and natural innovation. But in a situation like this, facing a familiar enemy in unfamiliar surroundings, Alliance discipline was what I needed.

The Cerberus troops looked around, suspecting nothing. There were a few other dead Alliance soldiers around their feet, and I began to feel the familiar slow-burn that hinted at a _lot _of repressed anger. I couldn't shoot the Reapers. But I could shoot these Cerberus troops.

"Mark," I said, and we fired in unison. Just as I'd hoped, we each picked different targets based on our relative positions. Vega on my left, Ash to my right, and me dead center. Three Cerberus troopers died instantly, falling to the ground as if their legs had been scythed out from underneath their feet.

I waited for a heartbeat. "Any left alive?"

"No sir," said Ashley. "What's Cerberus doing here on Mars?"

"I'm not sure."

"You don't know?"

I swear, in that one moment I was so furious at her pointed skepticism that I was ready to hit her. Ash might have not meant anything by that comment, but still, it hit me like a punch to the gut. It was only for a moment, but I was horrified at the amount of anger I felt. Only monsters hit women, and I was no monster. Despite what everyone seemed to think.

"I'm not with them, if that's what you meant," I said, my voice shaking. I was glad I could hide my face behind my full face helmet.

"That wasn't what I meant," said Ashley, sounding a bit surprised. I guess even though she couldn't see me, she could tell that I was mad. "But we've got a shadowy terrorist organisation infiltrating one of our top research facilities. I'd call that suspicious."

"I agree, Lieutenant-Commander, but what the hell makes you think I would know anything about this? You're the former intelligence agent. You were walking around free and clear for months while I was locked up in Vancouver."

"Yes sir," said Ashley, sounding more formal than usual. "All I wanted to know is if you had any additional information pertinent to our current situation."

"Well I bloody well don't!"

"Doesn't look like they came here in force anyway," said Vega, clumsily but successfully interrupting our heated little exchange. "Just a few vehicles."

"Kind of suggests they had help. From the inside," said Ash.

"Don't look at me, I've been locked in a room. And not that room," I said. Ash made a little noise of annoyed disapproval, which I was familiar with when we were dating and I used to leave my clothes all over the bedroom.

"You'd need a lot more men and firepower to take this place otherwise," continued Vega, as if I hadn't said anything. The three of us entered the facility through the loading bay. The security measures that would have barred our entry was down. I looked around for an elevator that took would take us deeper into the station and found one.

But before I could call it up, Ashley marched up to me. It had always been her way. Unlike a lot of other women I'd dated, Ashley had no patience with bottling up her feelings or hiding her suspicions. If she had something on her mind or didn't like something I did, she would tell me right off the bat.

"John, I need a straight answer."

"About what?" I said. Although part of me regretted my earlier outburst, another part of me felt relieved she was pushing the envelope all the way. Maybe it would be better for the both of us if we got everything off our chests.

"Cerberus might be pro-human, but they've ruined countless innocent lives. Do you know what they're doing here?"

"Like I said, how am I supposed to know what they're doing on Mars?"

"You worked for them. Like it or not, that was something you chose to do. How am I supposed to believe that you've cut all ties with them?"

"Ash, listen to me. I've had no contact with Cerberus ever since I destroyed the Collector base. Absolutely none. I have no idea why they're here now, or what they want."

"John, I -"

"One other thing. You know what they did to Jackie. You've read Anderson's files, I know you did. And you know that I love her. If you know all that, then you know there is no way in hell I would ever work with them after I got the job done past the Omega Relay."

Ash took a step back. "Sorry, I just...I had to ask."

"Major Shepard's been under constant surveillance ever since he returned to Earth," spoke up Vega. Huh, I thought he didn't care much for me but here he was defending me. "There's no chance that Cerberus has contacted him during that time."

"I'm not asking you to trust me, Ash, although a part of me regrets that you no longer do," I said, my voice holding remarkably level despite my anger and sorrow. "I'm not asking you to remember all the times we fought side-by-side, everything we went through together. I'm asking you to be logical and think it through. Knowing what you know about Jackie and Cerberus, about Jackie and me, is there a chance that I would still work for them?"

A rush of air filled the room, and Ash removed her helmet. Her dark eyes were locked on mine.

"No. If you really are the same man I remember, there isn't a thing in the verse that could stop you from doing the right thing for the woman you love."

Ash paused long enough for the both of us to remember all the nights and days we spent together as a couple, days filled with emotion and affection and love.

"But we both know how subtle indoctrination can be. Especially since it's been proven that Cerberus has no qualms about using Reaper technology. I want to believe you John, but there's simply no way of being a hundred per cent sure."

"Then that's just a risk you'll have to take."

Ash wasn't happy with that answer, but she didn't say anything more. The elevator began to rise, and eventually we were raised up to a different floor of the Mars station. We got no further than a few steps before a loud clanging from the ventilation shaft made us duck and take cover. I watched it intently, my weapon drawn and on a hair-trigger. I could hear muffled shots, and what sounded like a richochet from a gunshot. It could be more Cerberus assault troopers. I was ready for anything.

I wasn't ready to see a familiar blue face in a snazzy white labcoat/combat fatigues combination drop neatly out of the ventilation shaft, and turn to face to Cerberus goons in armour and carrying big guns behind her.

Liara raised her arm and a singularity appeared in the air above the Cerberus troopers, forcing them to float helplessly upwards like a helium balloon being let go. Almost casually, Liara drew her sidearm and fired two quick, precise shots. The Cerberus guys dropped to the ground. She stood over them and finished them off with a few more shots. I thought it all looked very familiar, and then it hit me. Jackie had done the same thing countless times, using her biotics to hold our enemies in mid-air while I finished them off. Liara had learned from her, and now was using the tactic for herself.

I emerged from my hiding place and went over to catch her attention. Vega followed, his rifle aimed at her, but I pushed it away. "Easy there. She's a friend, Lieutenant," I explained.

Liara turned around and smiled, catching sight of us. Of me. "John! Thank the goddess you're alive!"

I gave her a hug and stood back. "Liara. It's good to see you."

"Who is this?" asked Vega. "Is this the contact Admiral Hackett mentioned?"

"I don't believe we've met," said Liara. "My name is Doctor T'soni, archaeologist. Love a tomb."

"Uh, yeah. Hi," said Vega, flustered at being addressed directly. "Lieutenant James Vega."

"A pleasure, Lieutenant Vega," she said, and turned back to me. "I was worried when the reports came in. Did they hit Earth hard?"

"Yeah," answered Ash. "It was hard to leave like that."

"Ashley," greeted Liara. "I am so sorry."

"It'll be everywhere fast if we don't do anything. Admiral Hackett ordered us to come here to pick you up. He mentioned that you found something," said Ash.

"I...I did, as a matter of fact," said Liara. She began to walk down the corridor, and we followed.

"Hallelujah," muttered Vega. "Finally, some answers."

"Maybe. I've discovered the plans for a Prothean device. One that could potentially wipe out the Reapers."

"What?" I said, a little skeptical. The timing was too convenient to be a coincidence. "Here on Mars?"

"In the Prothean Archives, yes," said Liara, stopping by a window. The four of us looked outside to the Archives beyond. It was huge, the size of a couple of city blocks at least.

"We're only learning about this now?"

"Process of elimination, mixed with a little desperation," said Liara. "When you destroyed the Alpha Relay, it bought us some time. But when the Alliance had you under investigation, I knew I had to do something."

I felt a warm glow of appreciation for one of my oldest friends. Instead of doing nothing like I was, she was working her ass off to find a way to stop the Reapers.

"Admiral Hackett knew it too, and he contacted me some time ago asking if I was willing to use my resources as the Shadow Broker to help stop the Reapers. My search led me here. Hackett got me access to the archives and kept me updated on your status," explained Liara. But she looked a little bit guilty.

"I meant to come see you on Earth, but..."

"You did the right thing Liara," I said. "I was under house arrest, anyway. There wasn't much I could do to help you."

"That's true," she said. "In any case, my work paid off. The Archives are full of data, an overwhelming amount. I think I managed to find what we need."

"It seems a little too good to be true," said Ash. For once I agreed with her.

"I guess I'll believe it when I see it," I said doubtfully. "Where do we find this weapon?"

"It's not a weapon. Not yet. It's a blueprint, a set of plans for what looks like a very complicated device," said Liara.

"Well that's more than what we had a minute ago," I said. "How do we get it?"

"The Archives are just across that tramway," said Liara, pointing out the window. "Assuming Cerberus hasn't locked it down."

"What are those bastards after anyway?" muttered Ash.

"Yeah, they seemed hell-bent on catching you," said Vega to Liara.

"They want what I'm here for," replied Liara. "What we're all here for."

"But _why_?" I asked.

Liara got that look on her face I knew, from long experience, that indicated that she was about to go into lecture mode. Ash and I glanced at each other and smiled in wry recognition, then hurriedly looked away.

"The Protheans came close to defeating the Reapers," began Liara. "They had the plans to destroy them, but they ran out of time."

"And anything powerful enough to destroy the Reapers..." said Ash.

"Just might be something Cerberus would be interested in," I finished.

"So it's a race to the Archives," said Vega.

A loud crash made us all whip around. Then Ash pointed out the sparks and melting metal from a locked door on the other side of the room. Someone was trying to get in.

"We've got company!" warned Ash.

"Sweet," said Vega, hoisting his rifle. "Bring it on."

"Not this time, Vega," I cut in, making a snap decision. He looked shocked. Maybe he was beginning to think I was a Cerberus double agent too. I could use the extra firepower, sure. But Liara was here now, and she packed plenty of heat on her own. More importantly, I didn't want to be caught in a bad situation with no way of escape. One of the rules of combat is to always plan for an escape route.

"Get back to the shuttle," I said. "If Cerberus beats us to the Archives, I need someone to cover the exits."

"But -"

"Now, Lieutenant!" I snapped. Vega gave me a pointed look, but went back to the elevator without another word.

"Alright ladies," I said, as we each took our positions. "Just like old times. Give them all the hell you've got to spare."

A rough hole was finally burned through the door, and a Cerberus trooper stepped through. In the next instant, he was hit with rounds from two assault rifles, and a biotic blast. Never stood a chance.

**xxxx**

There was something...wrong, with the Cerberus assault troops.

I've fought them for what seems like my whole career. I thought I had their measure. I thought I knew every single nuance of their fighting style and the way they liked to operate. When Miranda defected, she approached it like she did with anything else in her life – to perfection. She updated me on everything she knew of Cerberus's tactics and long-term strategy, and as the Illusive Man's second-in-command, she knew a hell of a lot.

Of course I'd anticipated a little bit of a change ever since Miranda 'tendered her resignation', but not to this extent. They were still dangerous, and there were still times when they nearly got me for good. But on the whole they seemed a little off. Slower, less subtle, easier to outfight.

It wasn't that big of a difference. But I definitely noticed it. I mentally filed it away for further investigation. Maybe Cerberus could still be of use in the war against the Reapers, for cannon fodder if nothing else. Churchill would have allied with the Devil when he was up against Hitler. But if they were becoming erratic, it would be best to remove them from the board entirely.

"Could Cerberus be working with the Reapers?" asked Ashley, interrupting my thoughts. "Is that why they're here?"

"Possible. But unlikely," I said. A whole squad of dead bodies littered the room behind us. "No, I think there's something else going on. I can't quite put my finger on it. But it's there."

We came to a docking bay, of sorts. A long tunnel extended from the room we were in and outside into the harsh air of Mars all the way to the Archives. Liara took a seat at a security console and began her work.

"I'll see if I can find a way to operate the pedway," she said.

"Could you open up the live security feed from here?" asked Ash. "Then we can see exactly where they're hiding."

"Hmm," said Liara. "Something's blocking the access to the live feed. But I do have the record logs from a few weeks back."

The viewing panels flickered to life, and Ash and I looked at them closely. Something caught my attention after a while. It was a tall woman with dark hair, dressed in a scientist's uniform. But although she looked like a civilian, she moved like a trained operative.

"Who's that?"

Liara looked where I was pointing. "That's Dr. Eva Coré. She got here about a week ago."

"You don't think..." I began.

"I'd bet good money on it. She is Cerberus's inside agent," finished Ashley.

"That's impossible," said Liara. "Dr. Coré was very polite and knowledgeable about a great many things."

"Liara, you'd believe a Reaper was innocent if it had a doctorate and an interest in Prothean art. This Dr. Coré gets here and a week later Cerberus attacks the Gutenberg Archives? That's beyond a coincidence," said Ash.

"If we're not getting into the archives this won't matter anyway," I growled.

"The pedway's locked out," reported Liara, after a few more minutes of unsuccessful hacking.

I sighed. "Looks like we're going to have to walk on the outside of the facility and find another entry point."

"What's wrong with that?" asked Liara, puzzled.

"Thar's a storm a-brewin'," said Ash in an old-timey pirate voice, which only made Liara confused. I pulled on my helmet and signalled the girls to do the same.

"Try not to fall off."

**xxxx**

After an unpleasant trip on the outside of Lovell Station, we established two things. The first, that there were still Alliance troops putting up a resistance somewhere near the last security checkpoint before the Gutenberg Archives. If I could get to them, I could convince them to sign on with the _Normandy _and allay our manpower concerns a little.

The second was that the storm was growing even stronger, and that Vega had lost contact with the _Normandy, _and we eventually lost contact with Vega.

When we entered the crew quarters, we established a third thing. Every single person in the room was dead, but with no signs of a struggle.

"They must have depressurised the room and left them to choke to death," said Ashley grimly.

"Brutal, even by Cerberus standards," said Liara, her voice trembling just a bit. I had spent enough time around Liara to know that she was troubled. She had admitted that she thought Dr. Eva Coré was nothing to worry about, and things were looking more suspicious by the moment.

"Another security office," I said, pointing to a corner. "We'll get our answers there."

Once again Liara hacked into the security feed, and once again the three of us watched the video with hawklike intensity. Before long, we saw Dr. Eva Coré pop up once more. But this time, she was holding a weapon. She took the guards by surprise and shot them in the back, then depressurised the rest of the crew quarters without a second thought. She was cold, methodical, completely unburdened by compassion. Like Miranda, if Miranda had completely abandoned all of her ethical principles.

"I should have realised it when I met her," whispered Liara, staggering away and leaning over a chair. Her back was turned to me. "But I was just so focused on the Reapers..."

"It's not your fault, Liara," I said gently. "We still have some time to stop them. But right now, we need to get to the Archives." To her credit, Ash stood off to one side and didn't say anything to make Liara feel worse.

"We're getting close," said Liara. "Through that door."

"Be ready," I muttered, as we prepared to punch open the door. "The heaviest resistance will be on the other side."

Liara slammed the button and we discovered that I was right.

**xxxx**

"Damnit!" yelled Ash. She hit the ground, hard. I dropped my gun and hauled her to safety, not caring if I was exposed to the automatic turret which was firing wildly everywhere.

"Are you alright?"

"Bullet...got through...my shields," hissed Ash, trying not to scream. I crouched down beside her and took out a pack of medi-gel.

"Watch out for hostiles," I said to Liara.

"Yes Commander," she replied. I thought about telling her the good news, but decided that now wasn't the best time. Instead I applied the gel to Ashley's injured leg. I was no medic, but every frontline soldier learns the basic of field medicine fast. That is, if they want to continue being on the frontlines.

"Be over in half a minute," I said, taking her hand and holding it tight. Ashley squeezed back, breathing heavily. But after a while she began to relax.

"Thanks, John."

"Not the first time," I said. "Won't be the last either."

"You might want to take a look at this," called Liara. She had found yet another security station at the far end of the room. I draped Ash's arm over my shoulder.

"Feeling better?"

"Yeah."

"Ok...theeere we go."

Ash gingerly tested her weight on her leg, then began to move normally. We both stared at the security feeds, which was apparently coming from within the Archives itself. A woman was onscreen, barking orders at a large figure in full combat gear.

"Dr. Eva Coré, I presume."

She ordered a full lockdown of the Archives, not caring for the remainder of the Cerberus teams trapped on the other side. And then she aimed at the security camera and blasted it apart. The screen filled with white static.

"Well, they're there," I said, leaning against the table. I was beginning to feel increasingly annoyed by the elusive Dr. Coré. This was supposed to have been an easy pickup mission before we got back to the real war. Before I got back to be by Jack's side once more. It was turning out to be even more of a headache than I anticipated.

"Can you override them?" asked Ash.

"The Archives are on a separate network. We're locked out," said Liara resignedly.

"What if we could find a short-range transmitter – helmet to helmet?" began Ash.

"Yeah?"

"Then we convince them that we're just another Cerberus squad, and that all Alliance resistance has been eliminated."

"Are you nuts?" I said. Ash and Liara looked at me, surprised. "You want to use the Trojan Horse Cerberus? Ash, that trick's over a thousand years old! They're evil, but they're not stupid."

"Unless you can think of something better John, we're not getting into the Archives," countered Ash. "Not without high grade explosives at least, and we're in the middle of a _library. _I'll go look for an enemy helmet."

And without another word, she went off on her own. I shook my head, and noticed Liara staring at me with a slight smile on her face.

"What? You don't think it'll work, do you?"

"It's better than doing nothing. The Lieutenant-Commander has become very capable."

"Oh, you heard about her promotion?"

"Indeed. Admiral Anderson informed me about it himself. It was your old rank, was it not?"

"I was an LC before the Skyllian Blitz," I explained to Liara. "I got bumped up to Staff Commander as a reward. Then they kicked me out, and now I'm back as a Major."

"Congratulations, Major Shepard," said Liara, smiling. "We asari place rather less emphasis on rank, but even I know it's a rank rarely bestowed on officers."

"Yeah, Major's the last 'field' rank," I explained. "It's the Marine Corps equivalent to the Navy's Captain."

"Is it the highest?"

"No, the one after this is Brigadier General, then Lieutenant General, then finally full General. Those are equivalent to the Navy's flag ranks of Rear Admiral, Vice Admiral, and full Admiral. Hackett is our Fleet Admiral, which is only used during times of war. Theoretically you're supposed to be behind a desk or a viewscreen when you get that high. Major's about as high as you can go while still expected to expose yourself to enemy fire."

"Times of war usually result in the rapid promotion for those who are called to serve," said Liara. "And there is no one who has served the Alliance more."

"Thanks Liara," I said, touched by her fierce loyalty. Ashley chose that moment to buzz our communicators.

"I found a helmet with a transmitter," she reported. "And...something disturbing."

When we got to the corridor where Ash had found a dead Cerberus trooper, we were greeted by a gruesome sight. She was holding the helmet, which left his face exposed. However, he didn't even look remotely human. His skin was a sickening shade of dark grey, and his blank eyes had no pupils, just the eerie blue that I recognised from the husks.

"Jesus," I swore, bending down to get a closer look. The dead trooper smelled _wrong, _like mold and rot and ozone all mixed up together. "What did they do to him?"

"It appears to be Reaper bio-technology," said Liara softly. "I would hazard a guess that the Illusive Man is now forcibly altering his troops."

"So that's why they seemed a little...off," I said. "The Illusive Man's completely lost it, mixing and matching gene modification with Reaper tech."

"At least we know what we're up against now. Come on, let's use the transmitter and see if we can get into the Archives," said Ash.

"This isn't going to work," I muttered, but I turned the communicator on anyway. "Hello, this is...uh...Delta Team. Anyone there?"

"Where the hell have you been?" came the guttural reply. Ash shot me a look of pure triumph. Liara looked amused. "What's your status?"

"We're at the tram station, waiting for extraction. All hostiles on this side have been terminated," I said, trying to ignore Ash making a face at me.

"Roger that," said the Cerberus man on the other end. "Echo Team will ride over and secure the station."

"Acknowledged," I said, then held up my hands. "Ok, ok! You were right! You got this one."

"I so did," said Ash, sounding incredibly like a teenage schoolgirl. "Now hurry up and take flanking positions so we can ambush them when they get off the tram."

"Keep it up and you'll be a Major too in no time," I muttered.

The Cerberus team arrived, and two of them dropped dead instantly from the sniper rounds Ash and I put in their heads. The rest were knocked off their feet by Liara's biotics.

"It's Shepard!" yelled one of the troopers, sounding terrified.

"Alive and kicking," I said, aiming my rifle. "You're in the biggest library in the system. Look me up."

The Cerberus troopers, to my amazement, turned and ran.

**x**

**Prothean Wing**

**Gutenberg Archives**

**Lovell Station**

**Mars**

**x**

"Ash," I whispered, staring at the massive, faintly glowing green monolith that stood in the middle of the Archives' huge research chamber, behind protective glass. "Do you remember?"

"Yes," she said. "It's the beacon, isn't it? The one we found on Eden Prime."

I took a step forward, almost involuntarily. Eden Prime. Where it all began. Even though I thought the Prothean beacon was no longer of use once it had imparted its warning to me, the Alliance had apparently still dropped it off for storage and study on Mars. It was the beacon that had changed everything in my life, set it in its present course.

"Shepard," intoned a calm voice, from right behind me. But that wasn't why I swung around with my rifle aimed high. I knew that voice, the smooth, serene timbre of a man who is always, always in control. The man who had brought me back from the dead. The man who even now, with the Reapers at our doorstep, had his own agenda and schemes and plots, ever seeking to turn a galaxy wide apocalypse to his advantage.

"Illusive Man," I snarled to the hologram. He was in his familiar pinstripe suit, a lit cigarette dangling from his fingers. His silver hair was neat and slicked back, his eyes still the seem eerie blue I remembered. He looked like he hadn't aged a day since I last saw him.

"Ah, Dr. T'soni," said the Illusive Man politely to Liara. "Fascinating race, the Protheans. They left all this for us to discover, and we've squandered it. The Alliance has known about these Archives for more than thirty years, and what have they done with it? Nothing. Wouldn't you agree?"

"That is irrelevant," said Liara coldly. "You are still a monster."

"What do you want?" asked Ashley. I'm not sure if she ever 'met' the Illusive Man face to face. Her glare could have burned a hole in him, had he been really there. Instead, he looked past her, and up at the Prothean beacon.

"What I've always wanted," he replied. "The data in these artifacts holds the key to solving the Reaper threat."

"I've seen your solution first hand," I said. "You turn your own people into shambolic meat puppets. Everything you touch, dies."

"Hardly," said the Illusive Man. "They're being improved."

"Improved? Mutating humans into some kind of abomination is an improvement?"

"That's what separates us Shepard," the Illusive Man countered. "Where you only see a means to destroy, I see a way to control – to dominate and harness the power of the Reapers. Imagine how strong humanity could be if we could use them for our own ends."

"That's not how it works! You don't use them, they use you. You think you're strong enough to control the Reapers? You're making the biggest mistake of your life!"

"I don't expect you to understand Shepard, and I'm certainly not looking for your approval," he said, in a subtly mocking tone. "You were a tool, with a singular purpose. Despite our differences, you were relatively successful."

I remembered the anger, the loss of control he displayed when I blew up the Collector Base against his wishes.

"But like the rest of the relics in this place...your time is over."

"Shut the _fuck_ up! Liara, get that data."

The Illusive Man pointed an admonitory finger at me. "Don't interfere with my plans again, Shepard. I won't warn you again."

"John!" yelled Liara. "The data, it's being erased!"

The Illusive Man smiled. Then he turned and his hologram disappeared.

"How is he doing that? He's like a billion miles away!"

"It's local, someone on this station is uploading the data and then wiping it from the system."

Ash had made a full sweep of the room while I was arguing with the Illusive Man. We heard her yell a warning to someone, then a grunt of pain as she hit the floor. A woman rushed out from an information booth and headed straight for the exit. Ash was a few seconds behind.

"That was Dr. Eva Coré, she's got the data!" she shouted at Liara and I. "Stop her!"

"Liara!" I roared, unslinging my assault rifle and taking off after Dr. Coré. Liara understood what I wanted, and aimed a static field straight at the Cerberus agent. But to our disbelief, she dodged it with inhuman speed and kept on running.

"She's faster than she looks!"

I tried to shoot her down, but she was just too _fast. _Suspicion crept over me, whatever Dr. Coré looked like, she wasn't human. Another one of the Illusive Man's mad projects?

We raced through Lovell Station, dodging Dr. Coré's grenades and other attempts to keep us off her trail. Ash with all her marksmanship and Liara's biotic powers didn't even manage to slow her down. I was beginning to get worried, if we couldn't take her out, she would escape with the all-important Prothean data and the Alliance would be screwed harder than an Omega hooker.

"Vega! Lieutenant James Vega!" I screamed into my communicator, the moment we escaped the confines of the station and were on the exterior once more. "Cerberus has got the data, we need backup stat! Call in the _Normandy_!"

Vega's reply, if there was one, was garbled by static.

"Oh my god just die already!" yelled Ash beside me, emptying an entire clip at Dr. Coré's fast-retreating back, none of which seemed to find their mark.

"_Normandy, _come in! Joker! Vega! SOMEBODY! I need a miracle here!" I shouted desperately into my communicator.

"She's getting into that shuttle!" warned Liara. A Cerberus shuttle was hovering beside the platform where Dr. Eva Coré was. As we watched helplessly, she jumped aboard and gave us a jaunty wave.

And then when we needed a miracle...we got one.

Vega's shuttle came roaring in out of nowhere, headed straight for the Cerberus shuttle.

"I got this one! _Vaya con dios, _motherfucker!" whooped Vega, over my communicator.

BOOM

I had just enough presence of mind to grab Liara and hit Ash with my shoulder, barrelling her out of the way. Behind us, the two shuttles slammed together with an almighty crash and hit the platform like the fist of an angry god.

When the ringing in my ears stopped trying to drill a hole through my skull, I decided that I was going to live. I staggered to my feet. Some distance away, Ash was helping Liara to get up. I watched as Vega pulled in the shuttle for a less-than-dignified landing and hopped out.

"_Normandy's _on her way!" he reported.

"Oh good, because I'm never going to get into anything that moves with you at the helm ever again," I said weakly. Vega just laughed.

"Got the job done, didn't I?"

"We still need that data," said Liara. She turned and headed for the flaming wreck of the Cerberus shuttle, visibly limping. She might have been hurt worse than I thought. But then the entire thing shuddered, like something from the inside was fighting to get out. And then a tall, slim figure leaped out of the shuttle and landed on the platform with a resounding thud.

"What the hell?!" said Ash. That couldn't be Dr. Coré, no one would have survived that crash! And she appeared to be _on fire. _But as I looked closer, I could see her uniform melt away, eaten by the fire, revealing a shiny metallic skin underneath.

"She's a robot!" yelled Vega in disbelief.

Before we could move, Dr. Coré ran straight at Liara. Ash put herself in the way and aimed her rifle at the advancing Cerberus agent, firing controlled bursts as calmly as she would have on the firing range. She scored one headshot, then another, then another – but the Cerberus robot kept on coming.

She grabbed Ash and lifted her high in the air with one arm. I broke out of my funk and ran around the shuttle to try and stop her, with Vega right behind me.

"Let her go!" I bellowed, aiming my own rifle at her. But at this distance I could hit Ash, and she had already shrugged off several rounds at point blank range. The robot ignored me, and tapped her communicator.

"Orders?" it asked, coolly. Then a second later, she swung Ash around, and with terrifying force, cracked her head against the burning hull of the crashed shuttle.

"NO!"

Once. Twice. Three times. Ash went limp and hit the ground, not moving.

"ASH! NO!"

Dr. Eva Coré turned, and charged straight for me. I got off one shot, but it didn't slow her down even a little bit. With no options left, I hit the deck myself, just barely managing to avoid Dr. Coré as she leapt over me –

Then there was a sound not unlike two shuttles ramming into each other and I hardly dared to look. But Vega was standing there, grinning. He had anticipated my move and had used his gigantic assault rifle like a baseball bat, whacking the robot Dr. Coré full on in the face. If she had been a real human, I think Vega would have decapitated her.

"Grab that thing and bring it with us!" I yelled. Liara and I hurried over to Ashley's prone body.

"Ash? Ashley! Are you alright?"

There was no response. I lifted my friend up in a fireman's carry and went over to Vega's shuttle.

"Major, we've got Reaper signatures in orbit! They know we're here!" came a familiar voice in my ear. Joker. The _Normandy _had managed to restore comms after all.

"Let's get off this planet, on the double!"


	40. Abandon Ship

**Chapter 40 – Abandon Ship**

**x**

**The Fall of Earth**

**History Lecture**

**The Future**

**x**

This is the way the Earth fell. Not with a whimper, but with a bang.

The Reapers had arrived. Their slow, inexorable advance towards the planet Earth, only temporarily halted by the efforts of the Alliance fleet, was made with a single purpose in mind.

Revenge.

Reapers do not die. Reapers cannot be killed. Reapers do not comprehend the very idea of being made to stop existing. So when one is eventually taken down, it is beyond unthinkable. It is similar to asking a human whether he can grasp the concept of eternity, of infinity, and of immortality. Humans have words for such concepts, but they cannot truly understand them. Likewise with the Reapers and death.

Fifty thousand years ago, the Protheans gave the Reapers their biggest challenge yet in all the millennia of their long existence. Throwing all the resources of their galaxy-spanning empire into the fight, the Protheans were pushed to the extremes, to the point where their own culture and civilisation evolved with a singular purpose – to fight the Reapers. Entire generations were born, grew up, and died doing nothing but waging war against the Reapers. The 'final' battle lasted centuries. In the end, they lost, like all the countless other civilisations before them. But they took down more Reapers than had ever been lost in all the previous cycles combined.

The Protheans were an aberration, or so the Reapers presumed. Surely no other species could manage to dominate the galaxy and harness its combined forces against the Reapers once more. This time around everything seemed to go according to plan. A number of races developed rapidly and began to explore the galaxy, about four of which had significant military strength. Despite long efforts at diplomacy and reconciliation, they were only nominally united. It would be much easier this time.

Confident, the one called Sovereign made his move several years ahead of schedule. One of the most powerful Reapers made his move – and he was defeated.

No, he was worse than defeated. He was _destroyed, _ceased to exist. At the hands of a single, organic life form.

The man known as John Shepard may have not acted alone, but he was the individual whose actions were most directly responsible for Sovereign's destruction. It was utterly ridiculous that one mere ape-being could have done such a thing. Yet the fact remained that Sovereign was dead.

The Reapers decided to act again, albeit less directly. The twisted, malformed remnants of the Prothean race went by the new guise of Collectors and targeted human colonies. The idea was to turn the interloper's strength against them. If a human could kill a Reaper, then clearly a Reaper whose 'blood' ran with the strength of humanity would be the strongest of them all.

It was a good plan, and yet it failed. Reapers do not get angry, no more than a human gets angry at a flea. But there was a growing sense of disquiet at the fact that their plans had been prematurely ended twice in a row. And both times, as a result of one human's actions. The same human.

It is impossible to assign human emotions to the Reapers. The fundamental mistake that historians tend to make is to anthropomorphise these dark gods from outer space, to assume that they behave in any way imaginable that is consistent to our species' way of thinking. The point has to be made, and emphasized repeatedly, that the Reapers do not think like us, do not feel like us, and no matter how long we study them, we can never truly understand them.

With that being said, if indeed the Reapers could feel such a base emotion as anger, then they would have directed it at John Shepard. And if the Reapers could feel such a base need for vengeance, then that would be the reason why they attacked Earth. Revenge for John Shepard's victories.

Let us not forget that the Reapers first targeted Khar'Shan, for reasons yet unknown. However their very next target was Earth. And among the endless reasons that have been put forward as a reason for their arrival on Earth, we keep coming back to one undeniable fact. That John Shepard was on Earth, awaiting trial for the crime of the destruction of the Bahak Relay.

As we know now, John Shepard made his escape from Seavac, Canada, where he was being incarcerated. Although detractors insist that he should have stayed and fought, final victory was only achieved through Shepard's flight. While he was away, the Battle of Earth was fought, and lost in a matter of hours.

But what a fight it was.

As humanity entered the 22nd Century and began what is commonly referred to as the New Golden Age, a number of trends began to emerge. Nations made cuts to their terrestrial defence budgets, as it was assumed that the mighty fleets of the Systems Alliance would deter any potential invasion. With the introduction of aliens into the human consciousness, petty differences between fellow humans seemed rather trivial, although discrimination was never truly eradicated. Still, it was enough to compel entire countries to disband their standing armies. Land-based warfare seemed quaint and outdated in an age of orbital bombardment and species-wide bioweapons.

However, still more countries maintained defence forces, whether for ceremonial purposes or 'just in case'. During the Fall of Earth, they were called upon to fight an enemy that had an unbelievable level of sheer firepower.

After the fall of Khar'Shan, the Reapers bypassed the Sixth and Seventh Fleets completely. The tactic was unprecedented, as the navies of organic species would never risk coming out of FTL travel near the range of an enemy fleet, nor leave enemy forces behind to launch a counterattack. The Reapers then made it to the Arcturus Relay, where the Second, Third, and Fifth Fleets prepared to mount a defence under the command of Fleet Admiral Steven Hackett. Instead of waging a prolonged battle, the Reapers used the Charon Relay to make the jump to Gagarin Station. Yet they managed to completely destroy Arcturus Station and Second Fleet, as well as First Fleet on the other side. The Alliance Cabinet, its Prime Minister, and Parliament were killed in one bloody stroke, leaving the Alliance crippled of leadership during the greatest emergency in humanity's history.

Fourth Fleet was the final line of defence, commanded by Rear Admiral Stanislaw Fabianski. It had a few minutes of advance warning, but stood no better chance. The Reapers turned their attention to knocking out Earth's communications system, destroying the galactic comm buoys and then the GPS satellites in Earth's orbit. A few capital ships descended to Earth's oceans to sever the undersea fiber optic cables that linked continents together. We had been cut completely off from one another, on a scale not seen since the invention of the telegraph in the 19th century.

The Reapers then began targeting industrial centers and major population areas. The cities of Adelaide, Hamburg, Al Jubail and Fort Worth were annihilated outright in that first shocking wave of attacks. Great military bases, finance sectors and industrial/manufacturing complexes were also targeted for destruction. But given their immense firepower, the Reapers killed far less than could be expected.

When individual destroyers began to tear up roads and corral humans into large areas, many human commanders remembered Shepard's dire warnings, which had turned out to be prophetic. Husks, Cannibals, and other land-based troops were deployed in an effort to round up the population for the slaughter. The Reapers intended to harvest still-living humans for their own foul purposes, and the only response was to fight back. Fight back, even if certain death was the only result. Humanity's greatest weakness and perhaps its greatest strength, to fight on even when all seemed lost.

As the skies grew dark with clouds of smoke and whole cities burned and people died by the millions, billions more grabbed their weapons and fought back.

**Ramallah**

**Free State of Palestine**

**West Bank, the Middle East**

**Earth**

**Now**

Colonel Danielle 'Danny' Zayed of the Israeli Defense Force Infantry Corps had never been what you would call an aggressive woman. Her grandmother had served in the IDF as well, and retained a burning hatred for the Muslims who surrounded Israel and often professed a desire to wipe it from the map. To her, service in the nation's defence was a matter of survival.

Danny had grown up in better times, when the two-state solution was finally, peacefully, implemented, and the Israelis and Palestinians got along more or less alright after a shaky start. Her own service was a matter of civic duty. She loved her country and wanted to give something back. With most young Israelis preferring to serve in the Alliance these days, her hard work made her rise up in the ranks at a relatively young age.

And if people whispered behind her back that the Alliance wouldn't accept someone who was born deaf and couldn't be cured through gene therapy in the first place, then she would let them. She had better things to do with her time.

When the Reapers had flooded both Jerusalem and Tel-Aviv with hordes of husks and other abominations for which she had no name, she happened to be one of the few ranking officers left alive to lead the terrified stream of refugees out of the cities. Jerusalem, the most sacred place in the world for three major religions, was lost. All that was left was the convoy of civilians traveling in various assorted shuttles and ground personnel carriers, with her own shuttle in the lead.

"At least they didn't blow it up," muttered one of her lieutenants, sitting opposite her in the shuttle's cramped passenger space.

"Come again?" asked a captain, not hearing what the lieutenant said over the roar of the shuttle's engines.

"She said; at least the damn Reapers didn't melt Jerusalem into slag," explained Danny. She hadn't heard what her LT had said either, being completely deaf, but she could read lips perfectly.

"Are they really destroying whole cities?" asked the captain. "We haven't heard anything..."

"We've heard absolutely nothing after communications were cut," said Danny. "But one of the last things I saw was a satellite image of Al Jubail being blown to pieces. One of the biggest Saudi cities just...gone. Just like that."

"Will Ramallah be any safer?" asked the lieutenant.

"I don't know. What I do know is that it is the nearest defended city around here. We can't go back."

"Let's just hope they don't shoot us down," muttered the captain, just as an ominous alarm began to sound in the cockpit.

"Colonel, alarm," alerted the pilot.

"The Reapers? What's going on, soldier?" Danny demanded.

"One destroyer on our trail, ma'am!" screamed the pilot, his eyes wide with terror. A destroyer ship had wandered away from the attack on Jerusalem and was catching up with the refugee convoy. If it was a capital ship Danny would have preferred a quick death, but a destroyer had proven itself vulnerable to cruiser-grade fire.

Still, it was utter madness to take on a destroyer with just a _shuttle. _Danny made a decision.

"Lieutenant, captain, pilot, put on your parachutes. Do it now."

"But what -"

"I said now!"

Mystified, they did as she ordered. Although shuttles no longer had actual cloth and cable parachutes, those belonged in museums, the complicated jet-powered landing harness was still referred to as a parachute by everyone. A good name was hard to kill.

Much like her officers, Danny hoped. "When you get down, commandeer a troop transport and make sure the convoy reaches Ramallah. Whatever you do, make sure they get there."

Before they could say another word, Danny wrapped her arm around a safety strap and kicked the door of the shuttle open, her boot landing squarely on the emergency hatch. The roar of the wind was deafening as it howled into the shuttle's interior, and anyone not strapped down began rolling about like leaves on the wind. One by one, the pilot, lieutenant, and captain were sucked out of the shuttle and shot straight down towards Earth. Danny manually activated the hatch once more, closing up the breach and fell heavily into the pilot's seat.

"Let's see how fast you can move," she muttered, half to herself and half to the shuttle.

As it swung around in a wide arc, Danny dismissed thoughts of guilt from her mind. She couldn't in good conscience lead her officers to their certain deaths. Not when they still could be of service on the ground. But sacrificing herself to save the convoy was always the ranking officer's prerogative.

The destroyer loomed over the horizon, obscene in its inevitability. It was a thing that should not be, could not, and yet here it was, fresh from razing her city, her home to the ground, eager to end yet more lives. It would be on the convoy within minutes.

"_Sh'ma yisrael, adonai eloheinu, adonai ehad_," Danny whispered softly. Her parents had kept to the old ways, and her grandmother had spoken the same words while she lay in the hospital bed, her hands holding on to her children. She never spoke another word after it, as did all Jewish people who recited the final prayer.

The escape shuttle had no weapons, and laughable shields, light things designed to keep off the rain and to deter pigeons while in flight. Her death would be quick, but it would buy the convoy time to make it to Ramallah. Danny shifted the throttle forward, gathering speed. The Reaper hadn't noticed her yet, being focused on the convoy.

Any time now...ah.

The Reaper paused, and a slight glow from its 'tentacles' signalled its intent to fire its main weapon. Danny pushed grimly on, knowing that those last few minutes would count. It seemed that the Reaper's 'eye' fixed itself on her, and she felt a moment's disgust that it would be the last thing she would see on the Earth.

Then from out of nowhere, a huge, teeth-rattling crash. The Reaper had been hit, as if by a far-off artillery strike, and it was knocked off-balance. The main gun's fire was interrupted as it struggled to right itself and at the very last moment Danny kicked the shuttle upwards at almost ninety degrees and barely managed to avoid smashing into its red eye, clearing it by inches.

**Ramallah Command Post**

"Did we hit it?" demanded Major Mahmoud Khalidi. While his superiors were uncontactable, he remained the highest ranking officer of the Palestine Liberation Army forces currently encamped within the capital.

"We did, sir," replied the chief gunner.

"Good. Ready the main cannon for another strike," he ordered. In years past, Tel-Aviv had bristled at the insane amount of fortifications and weaponry Palestine had poured into its capital. The main guns alone could output a cruiser-grade strike every few seconds. It was seen as provocative, but they had stubbornly refused to give up their city defences. Today, it was coming in handy.

"Sir," interjected another soldier, monitoring a signals outpost. "The convoy is requesting permission to enter Ramallah."

"Identification?"

"None of ours, sir. Request was made by an officer of the IDF."

"This could be another _yehudi _trick," muttered the chief gunner. But he didn't have time to say anything more before Major Mahmoud hauled him bodily from his chair with one arm and flung him to the ground.

"Any idiot who would turn away a human with Reaper _shaitan _burning down our cities has such a poor grasp on the realities of the situation that he is an actual danger to our national security," said the Major loudly, with everyone's attention in the command post focused on him. "You, you're reassigned to evacuation camp duty. You, do you think you can do his job?"

"Y-yes sir," said the assistant gunner, terrified.

"Good, you're now the chief gunner. Hit that destroyer again, and keep doing it. You, tell the boys at the gates to let the convoy in," said Major Mahmoud to the signals officer. "Then inform the camps to get ready for more refugees. With one extra pair of hands."

"Yes sir!"

**xxxx**

The destroyer was staggered by the repeated hits it was taking from the Ramallah city defences. But it wouldn't be put down without a harder hit much closer to home. The destroyer had managed to get a few shots off, but the shuttle was too fast and it had missed every time. Danny decided to try something new.

Just as the destroyer succeeded in getting itself 'upright' and taking aim once more, Danny pulled out of her steep dive and aimed the shuttle straight for the 'eye' of the destroyer. The shuttle shook with the incredible strain being placed on it, and alarms were flashing all around her, but Danny ignored them. Once she was satisfied there was no way she could miss, she leapt out of her seat and jumped out through the emergency hatch herself.

She couldn't hear the massive explosion as the shuttle smashed itself against the Reaper, nor hear the continued volley of fire from the guns of Ramallah, but she felt the shockwaves that buffeted her and sent her spinning around like an out-of-control ragdoll. She dialled up her shields to the maximum and prayed they would be enough.

A second later Danny hit the ground, hard. But she did not die.

Fighting to stay conscious, she pulled herself to her feet and looked around her. Behind her, the smoking black hull of the Reaper destroyer, disappearing over the horizon. She felt like punching the air. In front of her, the last of the vehicle convoy was disappearing into Ramallah. For now, they were safe.

Pain flared through her whole body with every step that Danny took before she eventually reached the huge, alloy-reinforced gates of the Palestinian capital. When they closed behind her and she took her first steps in, she was greeted with massive cheers by everyone, Israeli and Palestinian alike.

A lean, spare man with dark eyes and skin burnt brown by the sun stepped up to her and saluted. "Major Mahmoud Khalidi, commander of the Palestine Liberation Army. Welcome to Ramallah."

Danny returned the salute. "Colonel Danny Zayed, ranking officer of the Israeli Defense Force. Good to be here. Where are the civilians?"

"They are in the refugee quarters, being attended to."

"Thank you, Major."

"We should be thanking you. Without your courageous (and near-suicidal) distraction, we could not have driven off that Reaper."

"You know what? If by some miracle we're still alive after all this, let's share the credit," said Danny, a little less formally. Mahmoud laughed, and the sound was strange to her ear. She had not heard laughter for too long a time.

"A fair proposal," he said. "Come, Colonel. We will have a medic take a look at your wounds."

Danny allowed herself to be dragged away. The Reapers didn't seem to be going after the city, and it was as good a place as any to regroup for now. But she couldn't help taking one last look over her shoulder, back to Jerusalem. One day, she would take it back.

**x**

**The Imperial Palace**

**Tokyo, Japan**

**Northeast Asia**

**Earth**

**x**

"Is my family safe?"

"Your wife and daughters have made it to the escape shuttle, your Imperial Highness. They will rendezvous with an emergency evacuation cruiser, and head straight to the Citadel."

"Good. You have my thanks, Keiji-san."

Emperor Yoshiro stared at his hands, spotted and marked with age. He could still remember his old martial arts tutor reminding him sternly that without constant practice, the strength of his arms would be withered with lack of use. If not for the law against striking a member of the royal family, the Emperor believed his tutor would have liked nothing better than to give him a hard smack from time to time. As a boy he had been mischievous and wilful, and rarely listened to anything his elders had told him.

But the things that did stick with him resonated the most. And the one he remembered the most clearly was his father telling him the reason why the royal family existed.

"My son, tell me. Do you think our purpose is to rule over all Japan?" asked the old man, strolling serenely through the gardens of the summer palace. Minders and bodyguards remained ever-watchful, but maintained a respectful distance. If he tried, Yoshiro could almost imagine that they were alone.

Yoshiro gave it some thought. It was obviously a trick question, but he couldn't think of another answer. "Why, yes Father. Isn't it?"

"No. That is wrong," replied the old Emperor. He was a small, slight man, but carried himself with regal authority, that utter assuredness of will.

"We do not rule Japan. We serve her, as we serve her people. The smallest, lowest man in the country has more freedom than any member of our royal house. Whenever Japan has need of us, we _must _answer her call. It is the role that has been passed on to us, since time out of mind."

Yoshiro and his father stopped by a small pond. He watched a dragonfly hover above the calm, still water, then flew off so fast the eye couldn't follow it.

"Other royal families have leave to be tabloid fodder, celebrities. We have a different path. We are the supreme representatives of the _shinto _religion here on Earth. Our position is unique, unlike any other on the planet. I heard this just as you have, in this same garden, from my own father Hisahito of blessed memory. May you remember my words and pass them on to your own children, in time."

"Yes, father," replied Yoshiro. He understood what the old man was trying to tell him. From the moment of his birth, he had a duty to perform, even if the notion of royalty had changed over the years. The Chrysanthemum Throne had certain expectations of its sons, continued in an unbroken line from 600 BCE until the present day, the oldest royal lineage in the entire world. He must not be the one to break all those centuries of tradition.

The Emperor smiled, and nodded in recognition. Together they enjoyed a moment of unbroken peace, what the Zen thinkers called the perfect, unending moment.

"Your Imperial Highness, there might be still time to reach another shuttle," began Keiji, breaking into Emperor Yoshiro's thoughts. He looked up and shook his head.

"No, I have made my decision. My line will endure. Japan will endure, even this, in time. But I will be with her in this dark hour. The House of Yamato does not run."

"If I may, I would like to request one last favour, sire."

"Speak it."

"I wish to stay here, by your side."

Loyalty to one's master was the central tenet of _bushido, _the warrior's code. No one, not even the Emperor himself, could refuse a man determined to do his duty.

"Granted. Walk with me, Keiji."

Emperor Yoshiro rose from his desk and walked slowly to his chambers, with Keiji following. In silence, he helped the old man to change out of his dark, Western-style suit and put on a loose, comfortable _shitagi _robe. He then went to wooden stand, and buckled on his katana and wakizashi swords.

That done, the Emperor went out into the grounds of his palace, heading for the same garden where his father had took him all those years ago. A lifetime ago. Around him, members of his personal guard stood in silent formation around him. Their armour was a smooth fusion of traditional design and cutting edge technology, and instead of swords they carried heavy assault rifles. There were a mere twenty left, the rest had been sent into the city to try and stem the tide. Keiji stood with them, carrying a small pistol of his own.

The Emperor knelt on the grass in contemplative silence, while the shadows lengthened and the sounds of battle from the ancient capital of his city faded into an eerie silence. Calm and serene, he thought of his family. Emi, his youngest, a laughing and cheerful girl who was the darling of the family. Hanako, his eldest, a thoughtful and studious young woman. She loved the sea and was an excellent sailor, and had her heart set on being a marine biologist. The laws of succession had been changed many years back, and she would be the Empress when he was gone. The Empress of a lost, defeated land, but the House of Yamato would endure.

His wife Meiko would keep them safe, he prayed fervently. He always joked in private that she was much smarter than him. Surely she would be able to care for their children once they reached the Citadel.

The sun had set by the time the monsters came. They rushed forward in their slavering hordes, clambering over the walls of his palace grounds, befouling the clean grass and waters with their every step.

Emperor Yoshiro of the House of Yamato drew his katana and struck down the first husk, and then another, and then another, moving with a speed and grace that defied his age, striking and turning as the memories of all those old training sessions coming back to him. The members of his personal guard formed a ring around him, defending their Emperor to the last man as they had sworn to do.

**x**

**Kathmandu**

**Nepal**

**The Himalayas, South Asia**

**Earth**

**x**

The Kingdom of Nepal has a proud record of never being successfully conquered by a foreign invader. During the 19th century, the British Army were so impressed by the ferocity of their opponents, the Gurkhas, that they eventually invited them to join the British Army itself. During World War II, it was said that the Imperial Japanese soldiers feared facing the Gurkhas above all others.

As Nepal turned from a kingdom into a republic, and then to a spacefaring nation, they retained the services of their Gurkha regiments. As a horde of husks poured into the Kathmandu Valley, every last one was deployed in the defence of the capital.

The training regimen for the Gurkhas had changed over time, but it still involved brutal, backbreaking heavy labour on the slopes of some of the highest peaks in the world. The Gurkhas were famed for running and gunning long after other elite soldiers would drop. They fought with assault rifles. They fought with heavy artillery. They fought with biotics. And when the husks broke through their last defences and closed in on their fortified positions, they reverted to the tactics of their forefathers and fought with _kukris, _the wickedly-curved knife that is the icon of Nepal.

"_Jaya mahakali, aayo gurkhali!_" screamed the Gurkhas, as they slashed and hacked at the Reapers with a fury. Glory to Great Kali, the Gurkhas are upon you. Husks charged and husks died in their thousands, in their tens of thousands.

By nightfall Kathmandu had been taken, with not a living soul remaining in the sprawling capital. But if not for the last stand of the Gurkhas, millions of Nepalis would not have made their escape to the emergency hideouts in the Himalayas. There they would stay, as they had for generations, and ride out the storm.

**x**

**Rome**

**Lazio, Italy**

**Southern Europe**

**Earth**

**x**

For two and a half thousand years, the Eternal City had stood as a beacon of civilisation. Its very name meant civilisation itself, the wonder of the ancient world, the scene of glories beyond measure. Even as New Rome was built on a faraway planet, marking it a great success if it could reach even a hundredth of the original's wealth, power and fame, Rome endured. Through fire and famine, through war and plague, through invader upon invader, Rome endured. Rome survived. The city that Romulus and Remus built, the pride of Caesar himself, Rome had become more than just a megacity. It had become a symbol.

It should have had a better end. The Eternal City should have had one more chance to shout _alea jacta est, _and meet the enemy at the gates as Marius once faced Sulla, as Pompey once faced Caesar, as the Holy Father once stared down King Charlemagne, and another Holy Father took on the might of the Soviet Union. It had been the capital of a kingdom, a fledgling republic, a mighty empire, and a world-power spaceport. The ideals that it stood for inspired other empires and republics that would last the ages. There should have been a better end.

The Reapers deemed Rome too great a threat to leave it standing. Capital ships blotted out the sun as they descended upon the shining spires of Rome. Even as the rest of Earth fought and died, they did not let up their foul work.

When they had finished, no stone stood upon another in what had once been mankind's finest achievement. Rome had returned to the moment of its birth, reduced to nothing more than the seven ancient hills by the banks of the Tiber River, bloated with blood, rubble, and the dead.

**x**

**Josiah Bartlet High School**

**Pawnee, Indiana**

**UNAS, North America**

**Earth**

**x**

"What's going on?" whined Molly, trying to tug her hand away from her brother's firm grip. Hunter held on even tighter as he peered out of the second floor window. There didn't seem to be anyone outside.

"Hunter, you're hurting me!"

"Shut up, idiot! Keep your voice down!" hissed Hunter. He had been sitting on the bleachers with his friends, having a nice lunch when those...things had dropped out of the sky and tore poor Jimmy Vokes apart. The rest of his friends had fled, shrieking in terror, but Hunter knew he couldn't leave, not with his little sister still in school. He had ran back only to find everyone running around in a panic, but managed to find Molly.

The good news was that they were safe, for now. The bad news was that those blue-eyed corpses that for all the world looked like a bunch of zombies from a horror film had swarmed into the first floor, and there was no escaping that way.

"Alright, we don't have a choice. We need to get out of here."

"Why can't we just take the stairs?"

"It's not safe out there. We're gonna have to climb out of the window."

"Are you insane?"

"Look, it's the only way. I'll go first okay? Then I'll help you down and we can go hide in the woods."

Before his sister could say another word Hunter slid the window upwards and climbed out onto the ledge. If he timed it just right, he could drop down onto the roof of the gym and get down by using the drain pipe.

"Don't die!" called Molly over his shoulder.

"Thanks for the reminder Molly, I nearly forgot not to," muttered Hunter. He clung on to the edge of the window sill and let his feet dangle for a moment, feeling light-headed. He didn't have a good head for heights. One time his dad had brought them to the Space Needle in Seavac for a family vacation and he had thrown up everywhere.

"Hurry up!" said Molly. For someone who thought the plan was insane, she was pretty confident in his ability to survive the fall.

"On three," said Hunter. "One...two...ARGH!"

He dropped straight down onto the roof of the gym and nearly bounced off. Only a desperate grab at a nearby pipe saved him.

"Are you alright, dumbass?"

"I'm okay! I'm okay. Now your turn."

"You better catch me, or I'm telling dad."

Hunter didn't have the heart to voice his deepest fear, that their father might not even be alive anymore. But all he said was "Hurry up!"

Molly climbed gingerly out of the window, but a huge crash made her freeze in place. Hunter felt his heart stop. Even without seeing them, he knew that the husks had entered the room he had just left. If his sister didn't move within seconds, she was dead.

"MOLLY, JUMP! DO IT! NOW!"

By some miracle, for the first time in her life Molly did as her brother asked immediately. She pushed herself off the wall and landed on top of Hunter, knocking them both down.

"Ow!"

"I'm alright, I'm alright," said Molly breathlessly.

"I think you broke my neck," groaned Hunter. Above them, the husks smashed the glass of the window, and they ducked just in time.

"Let's get out of here!"

Hunter and Molly shimmied down the drainpipe and hit the ground, taking to their heels. Hunter led the way, his mind racing. His dad always said that if there was a crazy guy shooting up kids in the school, he was to grab his sister and head straight for a certain tree in the woods, in the middle of a clearing. This wasn't some guy with a gun, but it seemed like good advice all the same.

"Stop, stop, we're waiting here."

"Why?"

"Dad said to wait here, so shut up and wait."

Molly sat down on the grass, sweat running down her face. "My phone doesn't work," she huffed.

"Mine doesn't either," said Hunter. "I think the attack took out the phone lines everywhere."

"What the hell _were _those things?"

"Zombies," said Hunter.

"Don't be a moron, there aren't any zombies," said Molly.

"Well you come up with a better explanation then."

After half an hour passed, Hunter was beginning to get worried. Right now he was pinning all his hopes on his dad coming to get them. If he wasn't coming, he had to think of something to do next.

A distant roar made him jump. Something was out there, and coming closer.

"Get up the tree, fast!"

"What?"

"Climb the tree!"

For a wonder, Molly didn't argue further. She jumped up on Hunter's back and reached up for the lowest branch, swinging herself up onto it.

"Grab my hand!"

Hunter tried to reach for her, but she was too high up. In desperation he scrabbled at the bark of the tree, but there was absolutely nothing to hold on to.

"Hunter!"

Behind him, a group of creatures for which he had no name emerged from the trees. For a moment, he felt like a deer in the headlights. There was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. Briefly his mind flashed back to Jimmy Vokes and the way he screamed as his arm was torn off. He hoped his own death would be quicker.

The monsters came at him, arms outstretched. Hunter registered their advance in a detached manner, like everything was happening to somebody else. He barely heard the screams of his sister in the tree above him. Everything would be over soon.

Then he heard a sound that he had neglected to pay any attention to. The sound of a car horn being blared over and over, and the gunning of an engine. A car came flying into the clearing from out of nowhere and rammed one zombie aside, sending it headfirst into a tree.

A man swung open the door and stepped out. "HUNTER! MOLLY!"

All of a sudden, everything started moving at normal speed again for Hunter. "Dad, look out! Behind you!"

Mr. Ronald Stevenson turned around, and instinctively hit the leaping husk with a right cross so hard it was bowled backwards over his car. Hunter ran towards his father and he was wrapped up in a big hug.

"Where's your sister?" he asked urgently.

"Over here dad!" yelled Molly, from up in the tree. Hunter dived into the backseat as his dad helped Molly to get down safely. In less then a minute they were out of there, going as fast as possible.

"Where are we going?" asked Molly, staring out of her window at a column of smoke in the distance. "Can we go back home and grab some stuff?"

"It's not safe to go back," said Mr. Stevenson, his eyes on the road.

"But all our stuff!"

"It's just stuff, Molly. The two of you are safe. That's all that matters," their dad said. They turned away from the city centre and headed out into plains.

"Hunter? Good job, son. Good job."

Hunter smiled. "Thanks, dad."

**x**

**National University of Colombia Hospital**

**Bogot****á****, Colombia**

**South America**

**Earth**

**x**

Diego wondered how surgeons in centuries past managed to work without killing their patients on a daily basis. Back when he was a fresh-faced medical student, he remembered one of his professors telling his class how surgery actually involved cutting holes in people. Anaesthetics involved actual chemical gas. He was glad he didn't live in such barbarian times.

His hands flew over the hard light console, readying his patient for the application of medigel. It would staunch the bleeding and reduce the chances of infection, long enough to stabilise her for another follow-up session later.

He concentrated on his work, trying to ignore the worried mutters around him and his assistants slipping out of the theatre and not showing up again. Rumours were flying wild about a terrorist attack, or a turian invasion, or some kind of pandemic outbreak. No two people agreed on what was going on. But Diego Malagon had decided a long time ago that it didn't matter. All he knew was that injured people were streaming into his operating theatre, almost faster than he could handle, and it was his job to make them well again.

Another dull thud reverberated through the building. _Something _was going on out there in the city. But he didn't waste time trying to figure out what it was. He had a job to do.

Diego had lived in Bogotá his entire life. The City of Colleges was famed for its learning institutions and therefore its rather erudite culture. He enjoyed it, frequently taking in a good play or poetry reading session with his husband Some of his friends had left to start new lives on off-world colonies, but he preferred to stay. His family was here and he couldn't imagine leaving his home.

The double doors to the operating theatre flew open and in marched a squad of tough looking men in armour and carrying big guns. Their leader looked around, and his eyes focused on Diego.

"Dr. Diego Malagon?"

"Yes, that is my name."

"I am Captain Valeron. By the order of President Juanita Quesada, all civilians are to evacuate the capital immediately, especially medical personnel."

Diego waved a hand in the direction of his patient. "Captain, surely you can see that we have patients in a critical condition. We cannot leave them unattended."

"For the greater good, we must leave them behind. You are a trained surgeon, we will have need of men like you in the current crisis."

"What crisis?" asked Diego, breaking his one rule. "What in God's name is going on?"

"There has been an invasion by the Reapers," said the captain heavily. "Our communications have been cut, but scattered reports sent before that tell of massive destruction visited on many cities across the globe. This is a _worldwide _emergency."

"_Dios mio,_" breathed Diego. "That lunatic Shepard was right after all." He had heard stories, but hardly dared to believe...

"Yes, he was. And that is why we must leave now, doctor. There will be more wounded to come."

"Alright," said Diego. "I will. But you and your men will bring my patients along with us."

"I'm afraid that is not possible. My orders were to secure trained medical personnel, not invalid civilians."

"I think those orders sound like they came from some brute with stars on his shoulder rather than President Quesada herself," said Diego angrily, squaring up to Captain Valeron. "I think she would want us to evacuate ALL citizens, not just a chosen few."

"Doctor, you will come along with us right now or -"

"Or what? Are we animals to drop all signs of civility at the first hint of danger? I am not betraying my oath, Captain, and if you want my assistance you will help my patients as well. Or you can shoot me down where I stand."

There was a horrible moment where no one dared to breathe, and then Captain Valeron dropped his gaze from Diego's stare.

"Very well, doctor. Get these patients out of here. Do it carefully. Commandeer any vehicles you need."

"Thank you, Captain," said Diego, trying not to show how relieved he was. Captain Valeron offered his hand, and Diego shook it.

"I just hope you're as good a surgeon as my superiors said you were."

"I'll do my best. I can say no more than that."

The Captain nodded assent. "So will we all, until we are dead or these machine devils have left our homes. Let's go."

**x**

**10 Downing Street**

**London, England, the United Kingdom**

**Northern Europe**

**Earth**

**x**

"Number 10 is within the attack zone, I repeat, Number 10 is in danger!"

"Roger that," roared the big lieutenant. "Proceeding to Number 10 asap, we will secure the Prime Minister and head to the evac point."

"You owe me twenty quid, Mouse," said Bowie, snapping a new clip into his sub-machine gun.

"Piss off lad, what for?"

"You said Shepard was lying his arse off about the Reapers. Now you owe me twenty quid."

"Ah hell, so I did. Tell you what, if we both survive the next ten minutes I'll double it."

"Ok shut the fuck up the pair of ya," growled the lieutenant. "You know the way. Move out."

The three soldiers from the Special Air Service moved as fast as they could. They were deployed from Hereford the instant that Fourth Fleet engaged with the Reapers in orbit, and had already been involved in a couple of firefights with a group of Cannibals. The lieutenant wasn't even their own commanding officer, he had been leading another squad when they were wiped out to a man.

"Jesus, the Thames is on fire," muttered Mouse. "Do you think the King got out?"

Bowie, a rabid republican at the best of times, merely nodded. "Hope so, mate. Hope so."

"Coast is clear," said the lieutenant, when they were within sight of Downing Street. The house at Number 10 looked unremarkable compared to the grand palaces that housed other governments. But for hundreds of years, it had once ruled a quarter of the globe.

They had nearly reached Number 10 when more Cannibals came tearing up the road, firing wildly with their twisted guns grafted onto their arms.

"Oh fucking hell," swore the lieutenant. "You two – get into Number 10 and get the PM down to the river. There's a pickup waiting. I'll hold these bastards off, don't wait for me."

"Yes sir," said Bowie, knowing that the lieutenant was walking to his death. He was already walking steadily towards the Cannibals, making every shot count and hurling frag grenades whenever he had the chance. He would buy them a precious few minutes.

Bowie and Mouse raced through the offices, growing increasingly worried at the number of dead bodies that were strewn around the corridors. Number 10 had been hit hard, the fine furniture and works of art were smashed and splattered with blood.

"Where to?"

"Let's try COBRA."

The Cabinet Office Briefing Room-A was the equivalent of the Pentagon's War Room. In a time of crisis, it was as good a place as any to look for the nation's leader.

"It's locked, mate."

"Why don't you try knocking?"

Mouse gave him a dirty look, but did it anyway. The door opened, and he found himself staring down the barrel of a gun.

"Easy there!"

The gun was lowered, but only a fraction of an inch, and Mouse and Bowie saw a face they knew all too well. Prime Minister Maisie Murray wasn't the first female leader of the British Isles, but she sure as hell was the toughest.

"Who the hell are you?"

"SAS ma'am," said Mouse, pronouncing the word so it rhymed with 'palm'. He gulped nervously before continuing. "We're here to escort you to the evac point."

"I'm going nowhere," said the Prime Minister. "I'm needed right here." Behind her, about half of the Cabinet were gathered around the table, staring incredulously at the stand-off.

"With due respect ma'am," said Bowie, "London is overrun. If you stay here, you will die."

Maisie lowered the shotgun all the way and swore under her breath. "Churchill would have stayed. He did, during the Blitz. I can't cut and run."

The last time Britain had been successfully invaded was in 1066, by William the Conqueror and the Normans. No one since then, not Hitler, not the Soviets had ever managed to land boots on the Isles. But the Reapers were blotting out the map in a matter of hours.

"Ma'am, there's brave and there's suicidal. The country needs you. There are millions of refugees out there who need a leader."

"Alright," said the PM at last. She turned around and barked a command at the rest of her ministers.

"We've lost London, but I am _not _losing Britain. We'll set up command elsewhere and link up with whatever resistance there is."

"You might want to keep that, ma'am," said Mouse, referring to her shotgun.

"Wouldn't dream of letting it go."

**x**

**The Citadel**

**Widow System**

**Serpent Nebula**

**x**

Prime Minister Inara Serra hadn't slept in days.

It seemed trite to be worrying about such a trivial thing as sleep when her home planet was under attack, when millions of men and women had died and billions more were trying to flee and seek shelter and safety. Inara had worked constantly, without rest or food or even pause, struggling to keep up with the flood of refugees and amnesty requests and cries for aid.

The Reapers had cut all communication networks, the sole exception being a few random quantum entanglement communicators that were linked to the Citadel. They were mostly housed in universities and high-tech research labs, but whatever she was hearing wasn't good. She hoped to make contact with some kind of a resistance movement on the other end soon, the alternative was that the Reapers had bombarded Earth from orbit and left it a smoking ruin, which she steadfastly refused to believe.

Inara reached for her cup of jasmine green tea, feeling its warmth restore some life to her. She drank deep, and shut her eyes for a moment. Her small supply of tea would be the last she would get for a long time. There was no guarantee that the Reapers had even left the planet capable of growing plantlife once they were finished with whatever carnage they were sowing. There might not be an Earth to come back to, and for a moment the full horror of that thought threatened to overwhelm her. The Earth that she knew might be the Earth-That-Was. Even if by some miracle the Reapers didn't completely obliterate the planet, it would never be the same again.

Inara struggled to remain calm, drawing on her deep faith in the teachings of the Buddha. Deal with what is, she reminded herself. Do not give in to despair. Focus on what you can change. Focus on what you can do in the moment.

She was the highest ranking human leader left alive, save for Councillor Udina and maybe Fleet Admiral Hackett. People would be looking to her for help and comfort.

Even if she would never see Earth again, did that change the reality of her situation? No. There were still people that needed her help. There was nothing she could do about Earth. But she could still do what she could for its people, reeling from the shock and pain of losing their homes.

The realisation helped to calm Inara. Here and now, she still had a job to do.

Her communicator buzzed, and she was shaken out of her reverie. "Yes, hello?"

"Ma'am, it's Commander...sorry, _Major _Shepard. He escaped the attack on Earth, and he's en route to the Citadel."

A rush of joy enveloped Inara, chasing her fatigue away. Shepard was alive. That was more than humanity had a moment ago.

"And ma'am? There's something else."

"What is it, Leslie?" Inara asked her personal assistant.

"He's requesting an urgent meeting immediately with the Citadel Council. The office managed to get a copy of the message he sent over secure channels. Major Shepard picked up Dr. Liara T'soni on Mars on his way out of the Sol System. He's saying that she found something big – something that might help us win this war."

"You mean stop it," said Inara, hardly daring to believe. The best hope they had was to somehow ride out the storm, survive long enough until the Reapers decided to go away of their own accord.

"No ma'am. He means to win it."


	41. Priorities

**Chapter 41 - Priorities**

**The Normandy**

I carried Ashley in my arms bridal-fashion in front of me, one hand around her back, the other supporting her legs, ignoring the strain on my back and racing up to the medical bay. Ash was tough, and had survived innumerable injuries before today, but that thing that looked like a Cerberus agent had nearly killed her before Vega and I could do anything.

A lifetime ago, back on Eden Prime, I had thrown myself at Ashley to get her out of what I thought was harm's way. Instead I was struck with all the knowledge the Prothean Beacon could provide, and from that my feet had been set on their current course. On Mars Ash had put herself between us and Eva Core and had come off decidedly worse.

We reached the Med Bay and I carefully laid Ashley out on one of the beds. I wished there was something more I could do for her other than the rudimentary application of medi-gel, which would stabilise her vital signs and clear up superficial wounds like cuts and scrapes. But the Cerberus AI had torn off her helmet and slammed her unprotected skull repeatedly against a burning shuttle hull. She could have a dangerous blood clot forming in her brain, or suffered memory loss, or brain damage, and I wouldn't know a thing. I couldn't do a thing to stop it.

"Her breathing seems regular, at least," said Liara, looking at me, her face full of worry.

"Can't you do anything more for her, doc?" asked Vega. He had dumped the broken 'body' of Eva Core in the AI Core and come up to the Med Bay to join us.

"By the Goddess, I'm an archaeologist, not a doctor," snapped Liara. "I wish I was. I wish I could trade a hundred years of what I studied about the Protheans for the medical knowledge to make Ashley better right now."

"I'm sorry," said Vega, looking startled. "I just wish we could do something more for her."

"We can do that by getting to the Citadel as fast as we can," I said. "First, to bring Ashley to a better medical facility. And second, to plan our next move."

"We have a plan?"

"That rather depends on you, Liara. What exactly did you find among those archives?"

Both Vega and I looked at Liara as she sat down in a chair, seemingly exhausted.

"I don't want to raise our hopes too much or claim the impossible," she began slowly, looking up at me. "And I know it seems too much to believe, that I've found something the rest of the galaxy's missed for untold millennia. But I think I've found something."

"Hold on a moment," I said, considering. "I want the rest of the crew to weigh in on this. Let's get up to the bridge."

"Sir, only Joker's on the bridge."

"EDI can tell me what she thinks too," I replied, without thinking. I saw Liara's eyes flash in warning, but it was already too late.

"EDI? Isn't she just a VI?"

I sighed. But there was no way I could keep the secret from Vega for long. Besides, the Alliance probably suspected it anyway. What could I do? I guess I could shoot Vega in the head and flush his body out of the airlock. That was always an option. But it was one I had never needed to take yet in all my career.

"EDI is a fully functioning AI, Lieutenant," I said, noting the shock on his face. "She was created by Cerberus, but willingly chose to turn from their service and help me defeat the Collectors on my own terms. She has saved my life and the life of my entire crew, and this ship, several times over. I trust her, and I would not be able to do my job without her."

"_Dios mio, _you're even referring to it as 'her'," said Vega. "This is illegal, Shepard! I should turn you in!"

"Lieutenant, I don't claim to have all the answers. I still haven't figured out what I think about the whole AI/organic debate just yet. All I know is that I've got a job to do, and if I don't do it everybody dies. _Everybody. _I need EDI to do that job. If you want to turn me in, fine. But see sense and do it after we take back Earth!"

"You're crazy, man. Absolutely _loco,_" muttered Vega. "The sooner I'm off this ship, the better." But he didn't argue further, or storm off. Instead he just asked 'Bridge?' and when I nodded he headed upstairs.

"That could have been a lot worse," said Liara, after he had left.

"How much worse could things get, realistically?" I asked.

"Well the Reapers could destroy the entire universe instead of just us," she said, making an uncharacteristic joke. Then she smiled, and it lit up the room. "But you're moving forward again. We all are. I've...I've missed this, to tell you the truth."

"You missed being in terrible danger, barely escaping death traps and horrible monsters by the skin of our teeth, with the fate of the galaxy in our hands. You're mad, Dr T'soni," I muttered. Then I raised my voice. "EDI, did you get all that?"

There was a pause, then the sound of the ship's AI rang in the Med Bay.

"I did indeed, captain," she said. She sounded amused, insofar as she could sound amused. "Permit me to ask a question."

"Go on."

"Did you know I was listening the whole time?"

"I made what you might call an educated guess."

"Ah. Then may I ask if what you told Lieutenant Vega wasn't the whole and exact truth? That you exaggerated the importance of my role to the _Normandy_ to impress upon him the futility of turning you over to the Alliance for sheltering a rogue AI?"

"EDI?" I said, smiling a little. "I meant every word."

"I see. Thank you, captain."

"Come on, Liara," I said. "Let's go upstairs."

Vega was already waiting at the helm, beside Joker's chair. The Flight Lieutenant looked a little uncomfortable with having the big marine watch his every move.

"Helmsman, what's our status?"

"En route to the Citadel, just like you ordered sir," replied Joker, his fingers flying over his console, making all the thousand little checks and adjustments to keep the _Normandy _on its desired course.

"Good. We need to get there asap for Ash's sake. In the meantime, Liara's going to brief us on what she found in the Mars Archives."

Joker checked an alert on his control panel. "Sir, I've got a wave waiting on the QEC. It's Admiral Hackett. Are you gonna take the call in the communications room?"

"No, open it up here. I'll update him quickly and then Liara can brief all of us together."

"Aye aye, sir," replied Joker, and a fuzzy, garbled image of Admiral Hackett appeared in the air in front of us.

"Major? Major, do you read me? Did you manage to extract Dr T'soni?"

Liara stepped in front of the hologram, making sure Hackett could see her. "EDI, could you clear this up a little, please? I'm safe, Admiral. Shepard got me out."

"It wasn't easy. Cerberus troops were at the Archives," I said.

"I was worried they would try something," said Hackett. "Did you get the data?"

"He deleted some of it but I think we recovered everything important. EDI and Liara will analyse what we have."

"Well, what did you learn down there?" asked the Admiral, addressing Liara. "Is there something we can use?"

Everyone looked at her. My oldest friend was tired, injured, and had been working far too hard for too long. But she was still standing, just like I was, and he research was the last, best hope for all of us.

"Preliminary analysis suggests that the data is the blueprint for a Prothean device," said Liara, her voice steady. She sounded like she was giving a lecture, not transmitting vital military secrets to what was left of the HSA's high command. She tapped her omni-tool and another schematic popped up, marked out in glowing green lines.

It looked...otherworldly. It was clearly something mechanical, a machine to be operated or a tool to be used. Yet at the same time it looked unfathomably alien. I knew in my gut this was something that I could never fully comprehend, not even if I spent the rest of my life studying it. Maybe it was too complex to be understood by any human.

Without even being aware that I was doing it, I drew closer to the display of the Prothean device. I had no idea what it did or what it was capable of. But something in my gut told me that this was the key to turning the tide.

"Device?" asked Hackett.

"A weapon," clarified Liara. "Massive in size and scope, capable of unquantifiable destruction."

There was a moment of silence as we all considered that unsettling potential. The Protheans had created marvels and miracles of architecture and quantum engineering. Their technology had spanned countless millennia and was still in use today. There seemed no doubt in my mind that the Protheans had come up with a superweapon far beyond anything the Council species were capable of.

But even if such a weapon did exist, would we be able to build it? _Could _we? The Protheans were above us as we were above ants. Perhaps we weren't ready for that kind of power, which always confers upon its wielder comparable responsibilities.

My eyes met Hackett's, and across all the light-years that separated us, we came to the exact same conclusion at the exact same time. On our current course, we would lose. We were going to die anyway struggling against the Reapers. We might as well throw the dice one last time. And there was nothing either he or I wouldn't do to save the lives of the people we served.

"Send me the data," said Hackett at last. "We'll do our own analysis. If Liara's instincts are right, this might be the key to stopping the Reapers."

"At once, Admiral," said Liara.

"Lieutenant Commander Williams was critically injured by a Cerberus agent during our mission on Mars," I added, resting my arms on the guard railing. "We're taking her to the Citadel."

"Sorry to hear that, Major," said Hackett, sounding like he meant it. "But we both know this is just the beginning. Talk to the Council, and show them what you found."

"I'm no politician, sir. I'm a soldier."

Hackett grunted. We both shared the same low opinion of politicians, although anyone who made flag rank had to dabble in the dirty business from time to time. "Well then, speak to the Prime Minister first. With any luck, she can help you convince the Council to give us the support we need."

"And if they don't want to help us?"

"Then do whatever it takes to get them on board," said Hackett more forcefully.

"Aye aye sir," I said, saluting. Hackett returned it.

"I'll be in touch soon, Major. Hackett out." The hologram fizzled and winked into nothingness. Without the Fleet Admiral there to see me, I lowered my head to my chest and took a deep, steadying breath, trying to calm myself.

Life was a series of obstacles, moving from one to the next. It was easier if I thought of it as an obstacle course, a straight line from A to B. Shut out the screaming horror that was the threat of the Reapers. Block out all the millions and millions of ways things could go horribly wrong for us. Focus on the next step. Always the next step. Then another, then another. That made it okay somehow.

First, get Ashley to a hospital. Next, report to the Prime Minister. Then, convince the Council to help us. After that...

Whatever they wanted me to do, I would do it. But the minute I got the _Normandy _off the Citadel once more, there was only one thing I was focused on doing. One person I had to see, among the trillions of souls who lived and died across the galaxy.

Jack. I wondered if she was safe. If she was in danger. And I wanted to hold her in my arms again, and fight this war with her by my side.

Alone, I would be crushed by the weight of the burdens that Anderson and Hackett and the Council and all of humanity had placed on my shoulders. With Jack though, I felt that I would be alright.

"Jack?" asked Liara softly. She looked worried. "EDI is extracting data from the Cerberus machine. We'll have intelligence to present to the Council by the time we reach the Citadel."

I was confused. It sounded like good news, so why was Liara looking so frightened? Then it hit me. She was worried for me. How I was holding up. Liara had been to hell and back on my word and she was still looking out for me. Even if Jack wasn't around, I still had friends who had my back.

Including one who had thrown herself between me and mortal danger, and was out cold in the medical bay because of it.

"And Ashley?"

"We've done all we can for her. Now it's up to the doctors on the Citadel."

I nodded, and walked out of the communications room. I paused by a small staircase, and sat down on the lowest step and stretched out my legs. After a moment's hesitation, Liara did the same.

"I've looked at the data," she said quietly. "This weapon is the answer, if we can build it. But I get the feeling you don't quite believe it though."

I gently laid a hand on Liara's arm. "I trust you with all my heart, Liara. But you didn't see what the Reapers did to Earth. Entire cities, wiped from the map. It just seems hard to believe that one weapon could turn that around."

"What are our options? You know we can't win this conventionally."

I sighed in lieu of answering. She was right.

"Isn't it worth trying at least?" asked Liara. I nodded. We sat in silence a little while longer.

"You should get some rest. Before we meet up with the Council."

"I don't have the time, I'd better get the information from the Cerberus machine ready," said Liara.

"Ok. I'll be in the Med Bay."

**The Citadel**

The capital of the galaxy was in utter chaos. There was always some conflict or strife going on in the Verse. Disputes and squabbles over a habitable planet, resource wars that were settled as quickly as a Council fleet could get there, and of course the Terminus Systems would always provide a few headlines of some pointless attack on some under-defended colony.

But a full-blown invasion of a Council race homeworld – that kind of thing would send people into a panic.

The traffic lines were jammed with refugees and people who lived close to Earth and were trying to get away. The Citadel was the beating heart of the galaxy and always had a Council fleet parked nearby. Just as ancient man retreated behind city walls, people were now fleeing to the aptly named Citadel. While Joker was trying to maneuver his way to a free loading dock, I noticed a sizeable number of batarian vessels alongside the others trying to gain entry. Strange, since the batarians had more or less gone into isolation. Even after I blew up the Bahak system they had restricted themselves to long range transmissions without making an actual appearance.

"This is the _Normandy _of the Humanity Systems Alliance Navy_. _The _Normandy_!" yelled Joker over the comms. "Requesting permission to dock as soon as possible! We have a crewmember in urgent need of medical attention on board!"

He sat back in his chair and groaned. "It's useless, sir. Traffic controllers are overwhelmed with all the refugees and other scared sheep trying to dock."

Something kicked my brain. "Joker, try hailing the Alliance Prime Minister on her personal line."

"You have it?"

I gave him the details, loaded into my Omni-Tool by Anderson himself a long while back. It might be a long shot, but anything was worth a try with Ashley in critical condition.

"Office of the Prime Minister," said Joker, trying to patch into the right frequency. "Can anyone hear me? Come in, over."

A hologram sprang up in the air in front of us. Even through the light blue glow I could see the exhaustion on the face of the young aide who was responding to Joker's call.

"Who is this? This is a private frequency. You need the proper authorisation to -"

Joker cut her off in mid-sentence. "I'm Flight Lieutenant Jeff Moreau," he said, jabbing a thumb at his chest. He then pointed to me. "My commanding officer is Major Jack Shepard. He's here with Dr Liara T'soni. And they've found a way to win this war."

"Joker," began Liara, but he waved her off, eyes still focused on the hologram and continued speaking. "We have a critically injured friend on board, and we need to dock immediately. Then Shepard can tell you what you need to know."

The aide's eyes had grown very wide indeed. "Could you hold for just a moment, please?" Then the hologram disappeared.

"Excellent work, Joker."

"I do my best, sir."

The hologram came back on again. Speaking in a rush, the aide gave Joker the location of the Prime Minister's own private docking bay. A medical team from Huerta Memorial hospital would be waiting for us when we landed. C-Sec officers and Secret Service agents were to escort us straight to the Prime Minister's Office for an emergency debrief. Sometimes I didn't like throwing my weight around to gain an advantage. This was not one of those times.

Joker docked as smoothly as a downy feather, and we helped the paramedics load Ash up onto the gurney and take her to the hospital. The turian doctor assured me that everything was going to be fine, and in lieu of correcting him I just nodded silently.

The C-Sec man in charge of our escort was a familiar face. Tall, close-cropped brown hair and with a weathered, craggy face, Captain Bailey was a familiar figure to anyone who had ever landed on the Citadel.

"Captain Bailey," I said, shaking his offered hand. "Nice to see you again."

"It's Commander now," corrected Bailey. "And likewise, Major. I'm here to escort you to the Office of the Councillor. Prime Minister Serra is also waiting there for you arrival."

"Vega," I said to the big marine. "Do you think you could head on down to Huerta Memorial and see if Ashley is doing ok?"

He saluted. "Yes, sir. I'll go right away." I watched him leave. Vega had proven to be a good soldier. But I don't think he'd earned the right to sit in on a Council-level meeting just yet. Liara however had definitely earned the right ten times over. And even if she hadn't, she was the only person in the entire Verse with any clue how to fight back against the Reapers.

"Let's go, Shepard."

Flanked by the C-Sec officers openly carrying firearms and HSA Secret Service agents in their dark suits and shades, we quickly navigated the byzantine corridors and back passages, keeping away from the crowds and moving much faster than I was accustomed to on the Citadel.

"I could get used to this."

"Only the bigwigs get this kind of treatment. And like it or not, you're the biggest wig of all right now."

We walked a while more in silence, before Bailey spoke up again.

"Hell of a thing, Earth. We saw some reports."

"I know."

"I haven't been back there in forever. Now it looks like I never will. If this ain't the end of days, it's pretty damn close."

"I don't intend to go down without a fight, Commander. Don't count us out just yet."

Bailey nodded. "I hope like hell you're bringing the Councillor and the Prime Minister some good news."

"What's she like, the PM?" I said, would-be casual.

Bailey considered for a while, no doubt choosing his words carefully. "She was here before she became PM. Took over Udina's old job of Ambassador when he got the big job. I'd see her now and then, more often now she has more work to do. Coordinatin' refugees and suchlike. Always polite, no matter what kind of misery I had to inform her. Believe me, there's been a lot of that lately."

A frown passed over his face. "Pretty too, I suppose." He looked as though he was delivering the bad news of a gruesome murder rather than commenting on a woman's looks. Liara caught my eye and tipped me a wink.

We reached the elevator that would take us up to Udina's office. Bailey and his guards stood back.

"Priority clearance only. That means you and Dr T'soni, Shepard, not even me. Good luck."

Leaving the grim C-Sec commander behind, we rode the elevator up. I took a moment to gaze on the vast expanse of the Citadel that stretched out before me. It seemed so pristine and peaceful, so different from the hell that was my home that we left behind.

Assistants ushered us in, and after a routine security scan we were quickly seated at a large table. Refreshments were offered and I opted for a coffee with no sugar or milk, black as the dark side of the moon. Maybe it would help me keep my wits when yelling with Udina later (I was anticipating a lot of yelling). Liara asked for something obscure and asari and green, and was pleasantly surprised to receive it within half a minute.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the Prime Minister," someone announced, and we got to our feet. Seconds later, Inara Serra swept into the room.

I had heard of her, of course, but I never had the chance to actually meet her face to face. She was wearing a robe of midnight blue and her long, wavy black hair fell nearly to her waist. There was a single gold band around her right wrist, otherwise she wore no other jewellery. Despite her artful makeup I could see this was a woman exhausted almost beyond repair. But her large dark eyes burned with something that I suspect must have sustained her. It was a look of hope.

"Major John Shepard. I am delighted to make your acquaintance," she said. Her voice was smooth and cultured, and belied none of the weariness she must be feeling, even now.

"I am honoured, ma'am," I said. I had met the high and mighty before, but there was something about the elegant PM that I liked. Perhaps it was the steel I sensed that lay beneath her silk.

"Dr Liara T'soni, welcome. Let me say at once that the Alliance is deeply grateful for all the work you have done on our behalf."

"Thank you ma'am," said Liara. "I only hope that my research can be of assistance."

"So do we all. We will shortly make for the Council chambers, where Donnel is already in session with the other three. But please, before we go. Have you truly found something that could help us?"

I glanced at Liara, who hesitated before answering. "Ma'am, I must be careful not to jump to conclusions. But I did find something in the Mars archives that hints at a Prothean weapon that may be of some use against the Reapers."

"A Prothean weapon," repeated Inara. Her look of hope grew stronger.

"I can't promise anything..." began Liara, but Inara stopped her.

"You have done all you can, my dear. You are the greatest Prothean expert in the entire galaxy, and if what you found turns out to useful, humanity may owe you a debt we might never be able to repay."

"It was my pleasure to help my friend," said Liara. Inara smiled at me.

"What amazing friends you have, Major. As the Buddha said, noble friends and companions are the whole of the holy life. And they might be the key to our salvation today."

I nodded, touched by her words. I had tried to do right by my crew throughout my entire career. Maybe it would pay off.

We were taken to the Council chambers. After being subjected to an even stricter search, we were allowed to go in. Everyone seemed on edge, there was something in the air that spoke of confusion and nervousness.

"All the best," said Inara. I hoped she was right.

**The Council Chamber**

"...we've got our own problems to worry about, Councillor," said the turian Councillor, Sparatus. "Earth is not in this alone."

"But Earth was the first Council world hit," said Udina, in a calm voice. I knew better however, and knew that he was barely keeping his rage and frustration in check. He looked little better than any of us, his suit was rumpled and his face had a drawn, haggard look. "By all reports, it bears the brunt of the attack."

"By your reports," countered the salarian Councillor, Valern.

We stepped to the Speaker's dais. "The reports are accurate, Councillor Valern," said Inara loudly. "Earth was attacked – by the Reapers."

"How can you be certain, Prime Minister?" asked Valern. He didn't look happy to see her.

"I have a firsthand account. Major John Shepard barely escaped with his life."

The four Councillors turned their gazes on me, and I fought to urge to glare back at all of them.

"Councillors, Earth is in grave danger. This war has barely begun and already we have suffered a catastrophic defeat. We need your assistance most urgently," said Inara.

"Each of us faces a similar situation," replied the asari Councillor, Tevos. "Even now, the Reapers are pressing on our borders. If we lend you our own strength to help Earth, our own worlds will fall."

"We must fight this enemy together!" burst out Udina, a hint of desperation in his voice. For once, I agreed with him.

"Even if we unite our fleets," said Sparatus, "Do you really believe we can defeat the Reapers?"

"I don't expect anyone to follow me without a plan," I said, speaking up for the first time. "Fortunately, Dr Liara T'soni has that plan."

"Councillors, we have a blueprint created by the Protheans during their own war with the Reapers," she said.

"A blueprint for what?" asked Sparatus suspiciously.

"We're still piecing it together. It appears to be a weapon of some sort."

"Capable of destroying the Reapers?" cut in Valern.

"So it would seem."

The Councillors examined the schematics uploaded by Liara's omni-tool. "The scale of this device...it would be a colossal undertaking!" said Valern.

"I forwarded the plans to Fleet Admiral Hackett," I said. "The remnants of the human fleet are already gathering the resources we need to begin construction."

"Our initial calculations estimate that this would be feasible to assemble, if we work together," said Liara.

"Have you considered that the Protheans were defeated by the Reapers?" asked Tevos skeptically. "What good would this weapon do?"

"It was incomplete," said Liara, always eager to defend her beloved Protheans. "There was a missing component...here. Something referred to only as the 'Catalyst'. But they ran out of time before they could finish building it."

Sparatus gave me a long look. "Do you really believe we can stop the Reapers?"

"Liara believes it will work, and so do I. And although Councillor Udina and I have had our differences, he's right that we need to stand together. Otherwise, we'll all die."

"The Reapers won't stop at just Earth," said Inara softly. "They will come after every being in the galaxy until we find a way to stop them."

The Councillors exchanged dire looks. I sensed that it wasn't going to be what we wanted to hear.

"The cruel and unfortunate truth is that while the Reapers focus on Earth, we can prepare and regroup," said Tevos. Her words hit me like a kick to the gut. Inara took a step back, and Udina had his head in his hands.

"We are convening a summit among our own species," droned Velarn. "If we manage to secure our own borders, we may once again consider aiding you."

"I am sorry, Major. That is the best we can do," said Tevos. I wished to God I had let them all die when Sovereign was wrecking the Citadel the last time.

The Councillors left. Udina paused long enough to ask me to meet him in his office. Then he too, was gone.

"Well, that was unfortunate but not entirely unexpected," said Inara. She looked about as murderous as I felt, although she was better at hiding it.

"I'll keep digging up what we can on the Prothean device," said Liara. She gave me a hug. "Don't give up hope just yet."

"Where to, Major?" asked the Prime Minister. "Back to Udina's office?"

"Not just yet," I said. If I had to deal with politics so soon after that clown show, I'd go mad. "Do you think your boys could give me a lift to the Huerta Memorial Hospital?"

"It would be my pleasure."

**Huerta Memorial Hospital**

I never liked hospitals at the best of times. I don't think anyone did. No matter how clean they sterilised the place or how comfortable they tried to make the surroundings, it was still fundamentally a place of great grief and despair. Doctors did their best, but now and then, people would be lost.

A hospital in wartime is even worse. The main lobby was a frenzy of activity, with shouted calls and harrassed staff trying to sort out the ever-growing stream of patients. It looked chaotic, but all I could think of was how much worse it would get. Even the Avina VI was tied up with a string of requests. It looked like no one was around to help.

A familiar voice caught my attention and I turned around, hardly daring to believe. But there she was, Dr Karin Chakwas, one of my oldest and dearest friends, deep in conversation with someone I recognised as Dr Michel.

"Karin?"

She looked overjoyed to see me, almost as pleased as I was to see her. "Oh, Jack. Oh, it's wonderful to see you alive."

"I'm pretty glad about that myself. What are you doing here?"

"I'm working in an Alliance R&D lab in Shalta Ward, coordinating closely with Admiral Hackett. I heard you escaped Earth in the _Normandy, _and that someone was critically injured. I came here as fast as I could."

"We had a run-in with a Cerberus synthetic on Mars," I explained. Karin shook her head.

"I should have known. Those lunatics will stop at nothing."

"Ashley took the worst of it. How is she doing?"

"Very well, all things considered. I'm impressed with Ashley's resilience, as well as Dr Michel's expertise. I just wish I could have been there to help on Mars," said Karin.

"At least she's being taken care of now," I said. I sat down on a miraculously free couch, with Karin sitting beside me. "It's been six months since I saw you. How have you been doing?"

"Not too bad. I've been rather fortunate. When they impounded the _Normandy, _the Alliance didn't really know what to do with me. I never officially joined Cerberus, and I did take a proper leave of absence before coming to join you on the Collector mission."

I chuckled, somehow Karin always knew the right thing to do. "So...you never technically did anything wrong, huh?"

"Yes," she said. "Although I suppose if you had been tried as a war criminal for blowing up Bahak, I would have been charged as an accessory," she continued, a little dryly.

"Would you be up for it again?" I asked. "Hackett might have need of me and the _Normandy _before too long. And where I go, I always feel better if I know you have my back. You belong in my med-bay, Karin."

"I couldn't agree more," she said lightly, although her eyes were suddenly bright. "You say the word John, and I'm with you."

"Welcome aboard," I said. "The _Normandy's _docked in Bay D-24. Get your things and head on down."

"Aye aye, captain," she said. "And thank you." She was a little more serious with that last bit.

I gave her a hug and watched her leave, feeling a little better. Whatever my next mission was, it just got a bit easier. Dr Michel then led the way to Ashley's ward.

"We reduced the swelling as much as we could. She is still unconscious, although her vital signs are strong. We're optimistic that she'll make a full recovery."

"Thank you, doctor. I owe you and your team more than you know."

Dr Michel left me at the ward's door, and I went in alone. Ashley was lying on a bed, her eyes closed but her breathing seemed steady and regular. Despite the flood of patients, she was the only one in her room. I was usually leery of using my reputation to gain favours, but right now I was glad it was just me and her.

I pulled up a chair and sat down beside her. It was perhaps the first time I had a chance to just sit down and take stock of everything that had happened since I had to leave Earth.

"Hey Ash. It's Jack."

I hated seeing her like this. I hated the thought that she had gotten herself severely injured because of following me into a fight. I knew she was a professional soldier, I knew she would do anything she could to protect me. But still, I hated to see her get hurt.

"I knew you'd pull through," I said to the still air. "You're stubborn. Always have been."

I reached out and laid my hand on hers, rubbing the back of her palm with my thumb. Her skin was cold. I looked around and picked up an extra blanket, spreading it over her.

"You scared me pretty bad back there on Mars. Get better, ok? Despite everything that's happened, after all we've been through, it's good to see you again, Ash. I may not be able to be what I was once to you, but I still care about you. I'll come by again once you're awake."

The door opened, and a doctor interrupted my ramblings.

"Oh, I'm sorry..."

"Don't be, I was just leaving," I said, standing up. "If you need anything for her, anything at all, you let me know, you hear?"

"Uh, yes sir."

"Thank you."

With one last look back at Ash, I set off for my one on one with Councillor Udina.

**Udina's Office**

"They're a bunch of self-absorbed assholes, Shepard!" yelled Udina, literally pacing up and down his office. I sipped my coffee and refrained from comment. I suppose he would be the expert in recognising one, but it didn't seem prudent to point that out at the moment.

"We may have a seat on the Council, but humanity will always be considered second rate to those aliens!"

"How can they be so blind?" I asked. "They have to know they can't beat the Reapers alone."

"They're scared. And they're looking out for themselves," muttered Udina. The door to his office opened without warning, and we both turned around in surprise. It was Councillor Sparatus, marching in without any aides or escorts. Insofar as I could gauge a turian expression, he looked worried. But not worried enough that he could resist a jab at Udina.

"Our _people _are scared, Udina. And we're looking out for them the best we know how," he said, coming up to us.

"Councillor," said Udina neutrally, unabashed at being caught badmouthing his colleagues. Sparatus looked at me.

"Commander -"

"Major, now," I said. I didn't like pulling rank, but I knew it counted for more with turians. Maybe it would help to get him to take me more seriously.

"Major Shepard," continued Sparatus, unfazed. "I can't give you what you need, but I can tell you how to get it."

"I'm listening."

"Primarch Fedorian called for the war summit, but we lost contact with him when the Reapers hit Palaven," said Sparatus. "The meetings will not proceed without him. The _Normandy _is one of the few ships that can extract the Primarch safely and undetected."

"How does this help Earth?" I asked. So far it seemed as though he was asking me for help without giving anything in return.

"The leaders of the summit will be the ones deciding our future," explained Sparatus. "The fate of our fleets, where they fight, and with whom. A grateful Primarch will be a tremendous ally in your bid to unite us," he said pointedly.

Politics. It all came down to politics. I didn't like being treated like an errand boy, but I wasn't stupid enough to refuse the one chance we had of getting the turians on our side.

"Go on," I said at last.

"Our latest intelligence reports that the Primarch was removed to a base on Palaven's largest moon," said Sparatus. He uploaded something from his omni-tool to Udina's office VI.

"There is one other thing. The Council has decided to uphold your status as a Spectre. You will not face further sanctions for the Bahak Relay incident. Various resources and intelligence reports will now be made available to you."

I was stunned. The Bahak incident was my head on a silver platter. To drop any charges they had and to explicitly prevent any future charges was a sure sign that the Council needed me. "Thank you," I managed to say.

"I've done all I can. The rest is up to you. Good day, Major. Councillor."

With that polite goodbye, the turian Councillor left the office as quickly as he arrived. Udina and I sat back down at his table.

"That was...unexpected," I said.

"It's a start at least," said Udina. "I'll talk to people, see if I can get things moving. Drum up a bit of support for this summit."

"If it's the best the Council can do," I sighed.

"The Council," spat Udina, his face darkening with rage. "You saved their lives, and for what? Apologies that boil down to 'maybe later'. If we don't do something, 'maybe later' will be the epitaph on the mass grave of eleven billion!"

I was surprised, Udina had never seemed like the sentimental sort to me. Then again, perhaps the man had hidden depths. Or maybe the gravity of his position and the times we found ourselves in was having a huge effect.

"What can you do in the meantime?" I asked.

"Humanity has created some goodwill in the galaxy – in some small part thanks to you, I suppose," said Udina. I figured it would take the End of Days for him to give me any kind of praise at all. "Now, we cash in our chips."

"The Prime Minister and I will get what funding and materials we can and help spread the word – help the humans and help yourselves," continued Udina. "We will institute a draft in our colonies and order all civilian ships to carry arms. Work on the Prothean device Dr T'soni found will be carried out around the clock."

I nodded in acknowledgment. At least the politicos wouldn't be sitting still while I was out there getting shot at.

"Any news from Earth?"

"There is constant news, all of it bad," said Udina grimly. "The Reapers are destroying all satellites and the old nuclear missile silos, anything that could be used against them. We have a handful of quantum entanglers spread out over the continents, but all other communications have been cut."

"If Admiral Anderson manages to send a message, inform me immediately," I said. Udina didn't look too pleased at being given an order.

"I'll do my best. You do realise the scale of the task I have before me? Our armada is tied down either fighting or fleeing, and with our comm buoys gone Earth's economy is little more than an IOU. I'll have to lean on the colonies for all they're worth, and the Prime Minister is supposed to be good at trade. Hopefully she can broker enough deals to repair and resupply Hackett's fleet."

"That's the job. If you don't want it you shouldn't be in the chair in the first place," I said cuttingly. Udina looked as though he was going to strangle me for a moment, then the moment passed and he sank back down in his chair.

"The part that gets me is Arcturus," he said softly. "I must know...I must have known most of the Alliance Parliament on a first name basis. Prime Minister Shastri gave me the job in the first place. I required a second VI just to track all their birthdays and anniversaries. Rose garden stuff, but to see it all gone..."

"We'll do our best to avenge their memories, Councillor," I said. "If there's nothing else, I have to leave."

"Good, the sooner you rescue Primarch Fedorian the better," said Udina.

I was about to agree, when a thought struck me. Among all the discussions and worries and disappointments, I had clean forgotten my earlier promise to leave the Citadel and go find Jack as soon as I could.

I left the office, my steps picking up pace. I had to get to the _Normandy _immediately to set a course. But would it be for Palaven, or the Grissom Academy?

I had no idea what to do next.


End file.
